Author's Note:
Two reviews to answer this time around...first one up:
"Could you add Arthur and Maximo from the Ghosts n Goblins games? Haseo from Dot Hack G.U.? Maybe a small scene of Sonic and Chris Redfield interacting with each other? (Roger Craig Smith voices both of them) A small scene of Amy and Senel helping Sonic and Chloe overcome their hydrophobia? Have any of the characters from Mario and Luigi: Dream Team appeared yet? and finally, can you include a chapter where the Xenosaga, Xenoblade Chronicles, and Xenoblade Chronicles X characters meet each other?"
Arthur is a pretty underrated character, so I'll add him and Maximo to the story, as well as Haseo. Both scenes regarding Sonic will happen. No character from Dream Team has appeared yet, but that will change when Antasma shows up. The Xenoblade chapter will have to wait until Xenoblade Chronicles 2 is released. Other review comes from Derick Lindsey:
"...would it be okay if Cilan joined them as Detective Cilan since his purpose of making the wedding cake is officially done?"
Got nothing for Cilan at the moment, so Detective Cilan would be a good thing to do. Moving on:
"I wonder how long it would take for Elise to recover and if she'll be able to return to the mansion soon? (also is it just me or does Elise remind you of Bayley from wwe?)"
Elise will return to the mansion, along with her siblings, once she's fully healed - won't give the timetable for her road to recovery. And yes, Elise kinda reminds me of Bayley, in a way...cheerful, peppy who have been brought down by circumstances. Considering that I've been following Bayley since NXT (WWE's developmental territory, for those of you who don't know) and know she's stuck in the situation she's in, I really hope WWE pushes Bayley and does something a little different with her, and tweak her character a bit. Same goes for Becky Lynch...and Cesaro...and Finn Balor...and Sami Zayn. MR. VINCENT KENNEDY MCMAHON, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'RE READING THIS, OR IF YOU'LL EVER READ THIS FOR THAT MATTER, BUT IF YOU ARE, PUSH BAYLEY, BECKY, CESARO, FINN, AND SAMI, YOU WON'T REGRET IT GOOD SIR!
...that is all.
Episode 81: Buddycops
Five days after the events of the previous episode, Mario and Peach were both discharged from the hospital once the newlyweds recovered from the injuries they sustained at the Four Seasons hotel attack. They returned to the Smash Mansion peacefully, arriving to a wave of euphoria from the mansion residents, as they resumed their happy, normal, and now married lives.
However, the perpetrator behind the hotel attack was still at large, and Master Hand was determined to hunt the perpetrator down - so determined, that he enlisted in the help of two British detectives - Professor Herschel Layton and Luke Triton - to crack the case. Even though Layton and Luke couldn't solve the case back at the hospital, they did find some clues - a Poke Ball, a receipt for propane tanks, and a pair of red sunglasses - and the diligence in their investigation helped win over Master Hand's trust. The giant hand, confident in Layton and Luke's abilities, offered them an opportunity to reside at the mansion and continue in the case at hand, the two detectives taking Ema Skye's spot. That meant they were now roommates with Pokemon connoisseur Cilan - a man whom Master Hand originally suspected to be the perpetrator, along with Red the Pokemon Trainer.
While Mario and Peach continued their married lives together, and Layton and Luke worked together to solve the hotel attack case and find more clues, Nohrian butler Jakob was looking for a butler job at the Smash Mansion, and was negotiating with Master Hand and Mario regarding the job. These negotiations, which had already taken place, were put on hold when Jakob had to return to Nohr to take care of his son, Dwyer. With Corrin, Kamui, Felicia, and Flora already at the mansion, Jakob believed his chances of becoming butler of the Smash Mansion were greater than he imagined.
"I believe that every large household, like the Smash Mansion for instance, needs a butler to take care of things like the dining room and the pantry," Jakob explained to Master Hand and Mario in Master Hand's room. "Felicia and Flora can work under me, and perhaps be even more proficient in their jobs. As you may know first-hand, Flora has grave self-esteem issues, and I think I can do whatever is necessary to make Flora feel more confident in her abilities."
"Flora's self-esteem has always-a been an issue - not even Dark-a Pit, whom I assume Flora harbors a crush-a on, can raise-a Flora's levels of confidence," stated Mario. Dark Pit and Flora, whom many assume to be in some kind of relationship, never made their romance public, though the clues were very much present.
"Dark Pit is essentially a jerk to everyone, even to Lady Palutena of all people. No surprise that he can't lift up the spirits of Flora - in fact, I don't think even Flora's sister Felicia can turn her frown upside down. Flora's a lost cause, as far as I'm concerned."
Jakob: What do I possibly have to lose in my quest to come butler of the Smash Mansion? Aside from Flora and Felicia, everything will work out perfectly - I will be the butler, Cilan can be the head chef, Mario will remain the man of the mansion (provided he doesn't move out like his brother Luigi did), and Master Hand...well, he can continue being Master Hand. Only problem at hand would be finding a room for me to stay in, but that's irrelevant right now.
"Some folks around here say that you're rude and condescending, and that your personality may not mesh well with the others," Master Hand said to Jakob; this was especially true and evident in the Fire Emblem Fates games, if you study Jakob's interactions with others. "What do you have to say about that, Jakob?"
"Being condescending and wanting to demand respect from others are two entirely different things, I fail to see how I'm rubbing people off the wrong way," was Jakob's answer. Dude quietly appeared to be a little full of himself. "But that's their problem, and not mine, to each their own..."
"AAAAIIIIIIEEEEE!" a girly, ear-scratching scream was heard from afar, alarming Mario and company. The voice sounded like it belonged to Peach - was the princess of the Mushroom Kingdom in trouble? Or was she just reacting to a cockroach she saw in the hallway?
"Mario, was that your wife just now?" Jakob would ask the plumber, slightly covering his ears in the event Peach were to let out another scream that would rock the butler's eardrums. "My goodness, she's a loud screamer..."
"Yup, that was-a her, alright...let's-a go see what she's screaming about," replied Mario as he, Jakob, and Master Hand retreated out of the room...
...and arrived at Peach's room, where they saw the princess with a shocked look on her face, as she was looking around in her room for something. She was throwing stuff around, moving things to the side, rummaging through the closet, and all sorts of things - and she was leaving the room in a mess.
"Princess-a Peach, what's wrong, what are-a you looking for?" Mario asked his wife as the princess continued her search. Peach would stop searching and looked up at Mario, her face screaming worry and shock and a whole bunch of other emotions.
"Oh, Mario, it's terrible...my wedding ring has completely gone missing!" responded Peach, as Mario, Master Hand, and even Jakob collectively gasped in shock. "I had taken my ring off and left it on my dresser as I went to go take a shower, and when I came back to the room after I was done, my ring was nowhere to be found! Someone must have stolen it! Who in their right mind would ever think about stealing a wedding ring?!"
"No worries, princess, you can-a always borrow my wedding ring! I wear it one-a day, and you can wear-a it the next! We can-a alternate!" Jakob was heavily against Mario's strange idea, as he facepalmed and shook his head at the plumber.
"That would be impossible, your fingers are huge which makes your wedding ring unable to fit on any of my fingers...no offense, Mario." Peach looked underneath her dresser, and still no sign of the ring. "Still don't know who stole my wedding ring, and why they would even bother committing such an act..."
Peach: My marriage to Mario so far is off on a rocky start...first the explosions at the hotel, and now this whole wedding ring fiasco! It was bad enough that I lost most of my hair in the hotel fire, and now I have lost my precious wedding ring! Whoever was responsible for stealing my wedding ring...will pay... *holds up frying pan with contempt* ...ooh, who knew I could be so violent? I'm more than just a pretty face, you know!
Moments after the news of Peach's wedding ring became known to the residents, Master Hand had Peach leave the room...which was now littered with yellow caution tape, at each and every corner. Many folks that this was excessive, including Hisui Hearts, who was present at the crime scene.
"Master Hand, don't you think this is too much?" the young man asked the giant hand, who was surveying the scene. He expected the wedding ring thief to come clean, and return the ring to Peach's room. The thief couldn't keep the ring in their possession forever, especially with Mario and Peach hanging around. "It's not like someone at the mansion got brutally murdered, evidently you care about this ring heist more than you probably should."
"Hisui, are you overlooking the magnitude of the crime at hand?" Master Hand asked Hisui, questioning him like he was some kind of idiot completely high on drugs. "Princess Peach's wedding ring got stolen, and that, my friend, is an ultimate travesty! If you were to steal something like a Ferrari, then go ahead, do you, that's your thing. But if you were to steal something like a wedding ring, from a freaking princess, then that's an entirely different beast. Maybe you don't care about this ring heist, but I certainly do!"
"Okay Master Hand, whatever you say," Hisui walked away, refusing to entertain Master Hand any longer. A minute later, Toon Link and Young Link walked by the scene, with Toon Link holding a fishing rod in his hands.
"I'm telling you, Young Link, that Whiscash I caught, it was the biggest of its kind!" Toon Link conversed with his fellow Link incarnation, detailing the Whiscash he had caught earlier while fishing at the mansion's lake. "Granted it was too big for me to handle, but the fact that I caught a flipping Whiscash was pretty awesome!
"Yeah, I don't I think would have handled a Whiscash myself, even though it weights like close to fifty pounds," replied Young Link, while Master Hand quietly eavesdropped on the conversation between the two Hylians. "Frankly its weight doesn't really equate to how big it looks in person..."
"Ah, Toon Link and Young Link, just the two I wanted to see!" Master Hand appeared in front of the Hylian duo, stopping them in their tracks. "Surely you have heard about the news of Peach's wedding ring being stolen, am I right?"
"Yes sir, we had learned the news from Diddy Kong," replied Toon Link; how surprising that it wasn't the mansion's resident snitch, Geno. "Mario said he was gonna help out in finding the ring, but I think he now has his hands tied with something Sora has been planning over the week." Whatever this was, it might not bode well for Cloud Strife.
"Figured Mario would be busy...but luckily I had a backup plan in mind." Master Hand would clear his throat for what he was about to say. "Toon Link, Young Link...how would you two like to be buddy cops and solve this crime together, and find the craven who stole Peach's wedding ring? You like that idea?" The Links were totally on board with the idea, with their happy faces providing just the answer Master Hand needed.
Young Link: Master Hand wants Toon Link and I...to be buddy cops? Oh man, this has to the best thing he has ever done for us, it completely negates the wrongdoings Master Hand has did to us in the past, like that one time he littered our beds with blood-sucking eels while we were asleep! We could be like the modern day Starsky and Hutch - fighting crime before bedtime!
Toon Link: Pretty sure that's the Powerpuff Girls motto, Young Link - clearly your buddy cop acumen is nothing compared to mine. But this is very exciting for us; I've always wanted to be a cop of some sort, and thanks to Master Hand, I can finally live out my dream!
Young Link: Do you think Master Hand would be fine letting us use guns, like other cops do, inside the mansion?
Toon Link: We haven't really seen anyone use a gun ever since Snake "accidentally" fired shots at Ike two years ago...but that was when Snake's accelerated age started to kick in and take control of Snake's mind. So Snake probably thought Ike was Gray Fox, coming back from life.
"We would love to be buddy cops, it has been a dream of mine...I mean, ours!" stated Toon Link, saving himself from a glare by Young Link by correcting himself in the end. "All that valuable time I spent watching Starsky and Hutch has now led up to this moment!"
"No wonder those Starsky and Hutch tapes no longer work, you used up all their usefulness..." Master Hand muttered under his breath. "But no matter, I can always afford new tapes with the profits I have. Why don't I show you boys your police uniforms?" Toon Link and Young now got even more excited, this was simply too good to be true! "I had Isabelle make some police uniforms as spare Halloween costumes, and I don't know if the uniforms will fit the both of you."
"Eh, we can always adjust, I suppose," shrugged Young Link, who didn't care about the comfortableness of the uniforms - he just wanted to masquerade around the mansion as a cop.
"That's the spirit, that's what I like, not giving a crap about anything! Follow me laddies!" So Toon Link and Young Link followed Master Hand to his room, departing from a "crime scene" wholesomely undeserving of caution tape. Where was the white body outline and everything?
"No Pit, how can you do this to me, what would I do without you?" Viridi asked Pit, who was marching down to the foyer. The angel was tasked by Sora to buy some "essentials" from a nearby Party City store, using the money the Keyblade wielder had given him...money Sora had "borrowed" from Link. "Please don't leave me alone like this!"
"You weren't acting like this before when Kirby, Bayonetta, and I went to go bust Snake out of prison," stated Pit, arriving at the front door of the mansion. How could he possibly overlook the unsung hero of Snake's jailbreak - the one and only Dark Pit? If it weren't for him, Snake would still be incarcerated right now. "Why are you suddenly griping and crying now?"
"Being in the gardens was my only solace when you were away...and since Olimar and Alph have restricted everyone from the garden for conditioning the Pikmin, I have nothing else to do! You helped me cope with the vile humans that live at this mansion Pit, without you, I'd be nothing..."
"Huh, never heard you say that prior to the start of our relationship...you aren't sucking up to me, are you? Though that would be nice - tried to get Kirby to suck up to me, but no luck whatsoever. Dude's smarter than his personality suggests."
The moment Pit laid his hand on the doorknob was the moment Viridi instantly panicked. And it wasn't until Pit opened the front door that the panic inside of Viridi skyrocketed. How could Pit do this to his own girlfriend, leaving her behind with a species the goddess of nature despised? Better question is...why would Viridi continue to live at the mansion given the high human population? Did she love Pit that much that she couldn't leave him by himself with the human race she despised so much, a human race she promised Luke she would adjust to?
"I'll be back soon Viridi, don't you worry about a thing," Pit calmly told the goddess, who apparently had tears welling up in her eyes. "Just gotta do some solids for Sora, he's got something big planned, and I can't let him down!" After saying this, Pit left the mansion, and once he left, Viridi fell down to the floor, on her knees, and started sobbing. That girl needed help, and in the worst way.
Sora: Think I know why Cloud has been feeling some type of way...he must have lost his memories, like I did, it perfectly explains why he's been so condescending towards me, and why he doesn't remember his past! Lost my memories a while back, when my good friends Donald and Goofy went to some place called Castle Oblivion. But it was thanks to a witch girl named Namine that I got my memories back, after spending an entire year being comatose. I'm not sure if the magic Namine used would apply in this world...but fortunately I found a way to give Cloud his memories back! Pit and Kirby were watching some old clips online, and they were watching this thing they called "wrestling", and there was this segment where this guy was doing a life retrospective for this dude called The Rock (who didn't look like a rock at all, unless I was imagining things). Perhaps a retrospective of Cloud's life can bring back his memories, and so with the help of Pit and Kirby, and a few others, I'll be recreating the wrestling segment, and remind Cloud of who he truly is!
"Viridi, what's the matter with you, why are you sobbing on the floor?" Kirby would ask the goddess as he walked by, heading over to Viridi and gently patting her back as she sobbed away. "Did Pit break up with you for a second time?"
"Even worse - Pit's leaving me!" replied Viridi as she continued to sobbed, alarming Kirby with her answer. The pink puffball needed answers, he needed some context regarding the situation at hand, and he needed all of that pronto.
"Are you insinuating that Pit is leaving the mansion for good?! Ooh, the absolute nerve of that boy..." This might very well be the angriest Kirby has ever been, and one of the few rare times we'll see him be angry in Smash Life. "Do you know where Pit went? I demand to know where he..."
"Pit is going to some Party City store and he's leaving me behind!" answered a still sobbing Viridi, cutting off Kirby, and that's when Kirby knew Viridi was just overreacting. Pit was just going on a harmless shopping trip to Party City to fetch some items, and Viridi was making it seem like Pit was leaving the Smash Mansion forever and taking his talents (or the lack thereof) to another residence elsewhere.
"That should give you no reason to have a crying fit, it's not like Pit would be gone for an indefinite amount of time," stated Kirby, helping Viridi back to her feet. The goddess stopped sobbing, as she wiped her tears away. "When Pit spends time away from me to do other things, you don't see me acting like it's the end of the world, like there's an apocalypse approaching. You should learn to enjoy time with others, like me for example!"
"I guess you're right Kirby, I really do take things to the extreme...my xenophobia must be to blame. I suppose I can always hang out with you until Pit returns, whenever that will happen - wouldn't be surprised if he went to the wrong store!"
"Heh, I've seen Pit erroneously enter a few women's restrooms in public, so I wouldn't even be surprised if he forgot he was still in Seattle. While Pit is off doing his shopping, we have to figure out what we should do with our time until he returns..." Kirby would scratch his nonexistent chin as he looked around in the foyer, his eyes falling on Alm and Celica. The two lovebirds were walking by, close to each other's side, stuck together like they were magnets.
"We were so meant for each other Alm, our love couldn't be any more perfect..." Celicia told her loving husband as the married couple continued to make their way through the foyer, and the way Alm and Celica were being all lovey-dovey with one another was sickening to Kirby and Viridi.
"Love is a very powerful emotion, and I think we display this emotion better than anyone else!" stated Alm, with a grin on his face. "Love never fails, especially not for us!" Once Alm and Celica were out of the foyer, Kirby had generated an idea in his head...an idea Viridi would be fully on-board with.
"Now I know this is not in my nature...but I would love to mess the crap out of those two, Alm and Celica," said the pink puffball, turning his head to Viridi. "What say you, Viridi?" The goddess of nature nodded her head convincingly...and just like that, Kirby and Viridi now had something to spend their time with, like Pit was mostly likely asking someone where the nearest Party City was.
Snake: Yes, ladies, I'm still single...but that doesn't mean that I'm not ready to mingle! *chuckles* ...good grief, that was miserably cringeworthy. Although my accelerated age may be holding me back, it can't hold back my quest in looking for a potential mate. Meryl is already taken by that stupid idiotic jerk Johnny Sasaki, and I'm not taking any chances with Mei Ling. She might be a little too..."cold" for my tastes. I need a woman who ranges from lukewarm to hot, someone who can get my blood boiling...someone like Samus Aran. She's not romantically involved with Anthony Higgs, which means that she's still on the market... *rubs hands together, Montgomery Burns style*
Samus was quietly working away in the workshop, working on her latest project. Or she would be, had she started on said project later than usual. The bounty hunter was actually at the fitness center, working out in her crop top and shorts, and after a hard day's work, she cooled down by drinking a bottle of water, and wiped the sweat off her face with a towel. Samus was drinking her water when an unsuspecting Snake entered the fitness center, making his way towards his prey...the one and only Samus Aran.
"Hey there good lookin', what's cookin'?" the former spy would ask Samus, in a manner that was creepy even for him. Even Wii Fit Trainer looked up at Snake with a disgusted look on her face, like she couldn't believe Snake was actually attempting to flirt with Samus.
"No," Samus flatly responded as she walked away from Snake, but the former spy was hot on her heels, following her out of the fitness center and throughout the hallways, close to Samus but not close enough to invade her private space.
"I was wondering if the two of us could hang out together...I'm not doing anything important, and you're not doing anything important either, so maybe once you're done cooling off and all...maybe we can go on a...an excursion, perhaps? Not a date, an excursion, where we go on a long trip and look at new things and whatnot. Chrom, Lucina, and Robin did that some time ago."
"Just because they did it doesn't mean we have to do it, otherwise we'd be copycats. Besides, I wouldn't want to be seen with your wrinkly behind in public anyways." This comment offended Snake greatly; he may look old, but he certainly wasn't at the point where he was more wrinkly than an English bulldog.
"I scan my entire body everyday - from the head up all the way down to my feet, including my private parts - and I see no wrinkles whatsoever! Quit assuming I have wrinkles just because I look old! Did your parents teach you about making false generalizations?" Perhaps Samus's parents died before they taught the bounty hunter about generalizations and stuff.
"Please go away Snake, I've had just about enough of your mindless drivel," Samus told the former spy after she arrived at her room. "Speak to me again and you'll get what's coming for you," the bounty hunter said this to Snake before closing the door on his face. But the former spy was determined to win over Samus one way or another, even if it involved putting his dignity or even his livelihood at risk.
"Playing hard to get, huh?" Snake thoughtfully stroked his chin with a grin on his face. "Something tells me Samus is the perfect soulmate for me. But how will I win her heart, what must be done? Two heads are better than one, I need some help!"
Snake would soon find some help, when he saw the threesome of Sonic, Knuckles, and Tails walking by. The former spy was only interested in seeking romantic help from Sonic, since Tails didn't have a girlfriend and Knuckles's relationship with Rouge was...questionable, enough to the point where Snake asking the echidna for romantic advice might not such a grand idea.
Snake: What do World War 2 soldiers, college students, and Ozzy Osbourne all have in common? They all come home. And sooner or later, Samus will be coming home..to yours truly. I don't care when, or how - she's gonna be mine...and I'll guarantee you she would be a better wife than Meryl. Got over that woman in a snap... *looks to the distance, nearly on the verge of tears* Meryl was supposed to be all mine, stupid Johnny Sasaki...
"Got three tickets for Spider-Man: Homecoming, boys - one ticket for the each of us!" Sonic told Tails and Knuckles, holding up the pre-ordered movie tickets in the air, only to be tackled to the floor and dragged away by Snake. Tails and Knuckles only saw their friend being tackled, but they didn't see him being dragged away against his own will, or even Snake for that matter. Needless to say, neither one of them were all that concerned.
"Isn't it a little too early for random tackling in the hallways?" Tails asked Knuckles, who responded with a shrug. "Usually that activity doesn't start kicking in until August when the college football season starts."
"Well I sure didn't see anyone wearing a football helmet, so I think we're in the clear," replied Knuckles, as he and Tails continued on their way. Must not care that much about Sonic...or the movie tickets to the Spider-Man movie the hedgehog bought.
Peach was sitting by herself in the lounge, petting her new pet dog Poochy, sighing depressingly about her supposedly stolen wedding ring. Master Hand refused to have Peach grieving in the comfort of her own room, so the giant hand ordered the princess to taking her grieving to the lounge. Thankfully there wasn't anyone in the lounge other than Poochy...at least it would be, until Professor Layton and Luke Triton showed up.
"Princess Peach, may we speak with you for a quick minute?" Layton would ask the princess as he and Luke made their way towards the couch the princess was sitting on. "Just a little chit-chat, if you don't mind."
"Sorry boys, but I'm not in the mood for talking..." Peach sighed depressingly, looking down at the floor as Poochy did everything he could to cheer up his pet owner. "Ever since my wedding ring got stolen, I've been down in the dumps, and I don't even feel like continuing with my day...my marriage is already off to a bad start."
"Don't say that princess, no need to feel down on yourself - what happened to the wedding ring wasn't your fault," Luke assured Peach, as he and Layton sat next to Peach, at her sides. "How do we know the wedding ring was stolen?"
"My ring couldn't have gone missing Luke - I left it on my dresser before I took my shower, it's not like my ring grew legs and ran off!" Unless Kamek stopped by Peach's room unsuspectingly and doused some magic on the wedding ring. "Somebody stole my ring, I just know it, and whoever did it, will PAY!"
"Well I might know something that would keep your mind off your wedding ring..." Layton looked around for any eavesdroppers, before telling the following information to Peach: "...Proto Man, X, and Zero acquired security footage of the Four Seasons hotel prior to the attack, and they want you and Mario to see it."
"Hotel security footage from Proto Man, X, and Zero?" gasped Peach; she knew Zero had security footage from a supermarket Mario, Dark Pit, and Jacky went to back in episode 57. Who knew Zero could get around and get security footage like that? "Where can I see this footage?"
"In the Star Records room - Zero pulled up the footage on Fox's laptop, since X's laptop is charging as we speak. Apparently he has some silly rule that prohibits him from using a device while it's charging. Very, very peculiar..."
Zero: Asked the owner of the Four Seasons hotel for the security footage. Sadly he doesn't want Mario, Peach, Cilan, or anyone from the Smash Mansion to ever step foot in the hotel again, since he thinks we're bad news...like if we were gathered at some coffee shop, the coffee shop would be brutally attacked. So yeah, the hotel owner thinks we're all prey for terrorists now or something...man better not spread the word around town, if he knows what's good for him. *charges up Mega Buster*
Outside the Star Records room, Snake was having a private conversation with Sonic, explaining to the hedgehog about how he wanted Samus to he his, how he wanted the bounty hunter as his girlfriend and all that good stuff.
"Meryl is already taken, and I doubt Mei Ling would even want me, so Samus is perhaps the only chance I got at love," Snake explained to Sonic, who continuously nodded his head, with a finger placed under his chin. "Can't believe I'm saying this but...please help me Sonic, I know you have the experience to help me win over Samus's heart."
"What's in it for me, will I receive anything for my efforts?" asked Sonic; chili dogs was the only thing on his mind. Though money would be just as good.
"I'll decide what your reward is after you helped me. And no, it won't be chili dogs, so don't even bother asking. You've eaten too many chili dogs, about time you get a break from that crap."
"You may say I've eaten too many chili dogs, but my stomach says otherwise." Sonic patted his stomach, but his small stomach wasn't really a good indicator of how much chili dogs the hedgehog has eaten. Surprising that Sonic's stomach hasn't exploded yet. "I know a great way to swoon over Samus and get her to like you...lean in closer so I can tell ya what to do."
Inside the Star Records room, Peach was gathered with Layton, Luke, Fox, Falco, Zero, X, and Proto Man, with Zero pulling up the security footage from the Four Seasons hotel on Fox's laptop. Zero could have used the computer room, but all the computers were out of order at the moment.
"Things would have been so easier if we just used your laptop, X," Zero told his best friend, finding it a major struggle to find the security video on Fox's laptop. Everything on Fox's laptop was more complex, compared to X's laptop where everything was organized and sophisticated. Zero partly believed the random folders scattered about on Fox's desktop had something to do with his struggle.
"Like I told you before, using a laptop or cellphone while its charging can potentially kill the earth," stated X, a pacifist and most likely an environmentalist. How does he know that? "Obviously you wouldn't know that from the insane amount of time of spend playing the Nintendo Switch, and other home consoles."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah...quit it out with your environmentalist nonsense, bad enough I have to put up with that crap every day with you as a roommate. Also, why do you have so many folders on your desktop, Fox, what gives?"
"I don't know, but I do know that you better not click on any of those folders," replied Fox, before his eyes suspiciously darted left and right. "...because you would be distracted from your work, and trust me, I know how bad distractions can be. Heck, Falco and I are bona fide distractions, and Ema Skye certainly knows that from experience! Sold out to Organization XIII presumably because of guys like us..."
Falco: *smirking at Fox* Admit it, you got like a gazillion photos of Krystal in those folders on your laptop, fess up!
Fox: Not just a gazillion photos of Krystal, Falco...a gazillion photos of Krystal wearing a bikini. And I got similar photos of your woman, Katt Monroe.
Falco: Bruh that girl ain't my woman...but I do wanna see them pictures though. You're a good man, Fox McCloud! *fist bumps Fox*
Zero would finally found the media player on Fox's desktop, feeling pretty stupid of himself for not finding this application earlier. The robot clicked on the media player, and pulled up the security footage, after scouring Fox's entire file library for the file. Boy, was that an adventure. Zero clicked on the file, and pulled up the security footage on the media player, as Layton and everyone else got in closer to the laptop.
"Looks like we're finally in business folks!" exclaimed Layton with a smile, as the security video began. The camera was focused on the ballroom, where the explosion took place, and inside the ballroom was the wedding cake Cilan devoted his time to perfecting. Layton and company waited for something to happen, like someone like the culprit to sneak in and place the propane tanks...but nothing happened. "Is it just me, or are we far behind on this video? Zero, can you fast-forward?"
"That's what I'm trying to do, but it won't work..." replied the robot, as he was repeatedly and aggressively pressing the rewind button on the media player, but nothing was happening. "Guys, I think Fox's media player is jank as all heck."
"Had a glut feeling we would have a technical problem somehow, wished X's laptop was available," remarked Proto Man, resting his chin on the palm of his hand in a very bored manner. "Your laptop freaking sucks, Fox."
"And you suck just as much, if not more," Fox fired back with this weaksauce comeback. Proto Man's life would have been over for good had Fox's comeback had some actual substance to it.
Link and Cloud both exited from the gaming room, and standing near the entrance, smiling with her hands behind her back, was Aerith. Right next to the flower girl was Zelda, who was smiling too, but not as much as Aerith was.
"Hey Cloud...are you still angry with me about what I did to you last week at the hospital?" Aerith would ask her boyfriend, after the ever-stoic Cloud exited from the gaming room with his buddy Link.
"A little, but not a whole lot," responded Cloud, though it was hard to tell if Cloud was a little angry since he didn't even give his woman any eye contact. "Pretty messed up what you did back there, having the audacity to lock me up in the same room with that weirdo Sora."
"First of all, I only locked up in that closet with Sora as part of a dare. Told you I the ladies and I played a game of truth-or-dare against our own will. Secondly, Sora isn't a weirdo, he's just...a bit out there." And that alone qualifies Sora as a weirdo. Just admit it, Aerith.
"Isn't there a rule that states you can reject a dare, and choose to do another one? I hate that I had to be a part of your silly game, but it is what it is." Cloud and Link walked away, as Aerith and Zelda looked on - with Aerith fearful that Cloud would never forgive her.
Aerith: Cloud isn't exactly a very...forgiving person, sometimes it's hard for him to reveal his true emotions. With his disposition, you can't tell if he's happy...or sad...or bored...or angry...or ecstatic. Cloud has the very same facial expression, 24/7, and I want him to change that, for the better or for the worse...but for the better.
Zelda: *pats Aerith on her shoulder* No worries Aerith, Cloud will come around soon. You wouldn't believe how much time I spent waiting for Link to be actually sociable! It was a long, tiring journey...that I do not wish to return to ever again. *shudders*
Link and Cloud continued on their own way, until they were stopped in their tracks by Dark Pit and Asuka. The doppelganger and the ninja girl were both grinning, and they were mostly grinning at Cloud, and not Link. Poor Hylian never gets any love from anyone not named Zelda.
"Are you busy right now, Cloud?" Asuka asked the blonde swordsman, who would have opted to say no if he wasn't so curious as to what Dark Pit and Asuka had in store for him. "Because there's a wicked awesome barbecue taking place at this city, and you're invited!" Asuka gleefully pointed at Cloud, who wasn't exactly amused. "Sorry, Link, but you weren't invited."
"Meh, I've never been formally invited to any barbecue, or any get-together for that matter," answered Link, looking down at the floor and shaking his head. "Luigi didn't invite me to Daisy's birthday party, although I had the honors of planning everything out, and Master Hand forgot to tell me about the Christmas party last year. I feel so unloved, most times Midna constantly reminds me of how unloved I am..."
"Cool story bro, way to sound even more bitter than Mewtwo," Dark Pit had this to say about Link's sob story, before turning his full attention to Cloud. "Yeah, Cloud, there's a barbecue held at CenturyLink Field, where the hometown Seattle Seahawks play, and you were one of the names on the guest list! We wanted to relay the information to you, in case you didn't receive it."
"I would ask who's in charge of this barbecue, and how long it was planned and how it was organized...but I'll save those questions for later. Gotta find myself a ride to CenturyLink Field, kinda doubt there's a barbecue taking place but it wouldn't hurt to look..."
"Stay right where you are, Mr. Strife - Dark Pit and I will find you a ride!" Asuka said to the swordsman as she and Dark Pit went away. "We'll go see if Captain Falcon is available!" Cloud was alarmed about the pleasant nature from Dark Pit and Asuka, especially the former, but the swordsman was more concerned about this so-called barbecue taking place...
"Pop quiz: who was the man that assassinated Franz Ferdinand and started the first World War in the process?" Lloyd asked Bowser Jr. and the Koopalings, teaching the eight in a room while Bowser was chilling in the back, looking on. "Lemme give you guys a hint - it was a Bosnian Serb!"
"Franz Ferdinand's killer was Gavrilo Princip, and Gavrilo killed Ferdinand and his wife on June 28, 1914!" Bowser Jr. answered Lloyd's question after raising his hand. "Austria-Hungary was ticked off with Serbia about the assassination, and so they declared war on the country exactly a month later!"
"Excellent job, Bowser Jr, great work with the additional details! You just earned yourself another sticker with that great answer!" Lloyd grabbed a sticker, and placed it next to the other stickers on the erase board, where Bowser Jr.'s name was. Unlike Bowser Jr., the Koopalings had little to no stars next to their names; Ludwig was the only competition Bowser Jr. truly had.
"That's my boy, Bowser Jr, keep up the good work!" Bowser stood up and applauded for the young koopa, showing blatant parental favoritism towards Bowser Jr. while the Koopalings felt unloved. "You keep up the good work too Ludwig, don't let Bowser Jr. show you up, you're a genius! The rest of you flat out suck, you should feel ashamed of yourselves!" That's something you wouldn't hear an average father tell his children.
Bowser: Recent studies have shown that more college kids are putting their butts behind desks and attending summer school and earning their credits now more than ever! Yes, college students would rather take an easy road to achieving their academic goals and attend summer school than getting wasted on booze all summer long. Assuming that my kids will make it to college one day (which I highly doubt they will, though Ludwig and Junior will receive the benefit of the doubt), I'm having Lloyd teach them throughout this summer, to teach them how important academics are!
"Keep on teaching the young ones Lloyd, I'ma go get myself a glass of water," Bowser told the swordsman, who gave a thumbs up, as he exited the room. "My dry mouth is starting to kill me!" Bowser wouldn't get that far from the room, when an arrow struck the Koopa King in the leg, making him yelp and sending him to the floor in pain. A police siren sounded, and soon came Toon Link and Young Link - both Hylians wearing police uniforms, driving on Segways. With them was their police dog, Duck Hunt Dog, with a police siren on his head. The officers got off their Segways, and immediately confronted Bowser.
"State your business here, you fiendish surrender monkey!" Toon Link barked at Bowser, as he and Young Link had their bows pointed at the Koopa King. Bowser got up on one knee, wondering what had gotten into the Hylian duo.
"What gives, why did you fire an arrow at me for, I did nothing wrong!" This only earned Bowser an arrow to his other leg, sending him to the floor again. At this point, he should just lie on the floor to save him some trouble.
"We know you did it, King Bowser, we all know you were the one who stole Peach's wedding ring!" said Young Link, as Duck Hunt Dog sniffed Bowser for any clues. "Admit it, you were salty that your nemesis Mario married Peach, and so to get back at Mario, you went about and stole his bride's ring!"
"Now that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard - how is stealing a wedding ring supposed to count as an act of vengeance against Mario? I would never steal Peach's wedding ring, not in a million years, even if I really wanted to!"
"He's in denial, Young Link, and everyone knows that denial is the best antidote for coping with deviance," Toon Link said to his partner-in-crime, as Bowser rolled his eyes at the Hylian's logic. "Bowser wants to play hard to get, and prying information out of him might take us forever! We'll just have to let Bowser off the hook...but only for now."
"Your word is bond as always, Sergeant Toon," replied Young Link, as he helped Bowser up to his feet and took the arrows out of his legs. Those arrows stung just as much as when they dug into the Koopa King's skin. "Toon Link and I have decided to let you get off easy, King Bowser, but we'll come back for you once we deal with other suspects. Until we see each other again, stay fresh...and stay woke."
On that remark, Young Link and Toon Link hopped on their Segways and strolled away, the police siren sounding off as Duck Hunt Dog went with the officer duo. Bowser shook his head and walked away in pain, wondering if the Links were taking their police jobs too seriously.
Samus, after taking a shower from a day of hard work inside the fitness center, went to the kitchen to grab a bite to eat, while Mr. Game and Watch washing the dishes. The bounty hunter was looking through the refrigerator when Sonic was standing at the kitchen entrance, with Snake at his side.
"Remember what I taught you Snake, and don't lose sight of why you are here," the hedgehog said to the former spy, patting on him the back encouragingly. Snake had his eyes dead set on Samus - he knew he was gonna make the bounty hunter his own. "Don't screw up, and you'll be fine!" So Snake confidently entered the kitchen and coolly strolled towards Samus, with a heavy grin on his face.
"I'm tired of being alone, sick of being single, I think I need a girl, I need a girl like...you," Snake said to Samus before pointing at the bounty hunter, his gravelly voice filling up Samus's face with cringe given the words he just said. Sounded so unlike Snake!
Sonic: Millennials these days are doing this thing called the "song lyric text prank", where someone texts their boyfriend/girlfriend lyrics from a song, insisting that they're about to break up with their significant other. To help Snake win over Samus, I'm taking the same concept of the prank and twisting it around, where Snake uses song lyrics to start a relationship, rather than break one up by accident and apologizing later, like I've seen most people do. The song I'm having Snake use is a pretty obscure song (it's a k-pop song Amy forced upon me), but I got some more well-known songs for Snake just in case!
"Um, sorry to break this to you Snake, but you don't need a girl," Samus responded coldly as she grabbed some turkey breast and mayonnaise from the fridge, essential items needed for a sandwich the bounty hunter was about to make.
"How can you say that Samus, sure Snake may not be the most ideal boyfriend, but he's still deserving of finding love!" Mr. Game and Watch stood up for Snake. He should know about Snake's romantic shortcomings...he has heard the former spy moan and complain about his single life since forever!
"Explain to me why Meryl Silverburgh didn't tie the knot with Snake, if the guy is so 'deserving'." Unfortunately Mr. Game and Watch couldn't explain, as he kept his mouth shut and quietly resumed washing the dishes, clearing his throat as he resumed his duty.
"Girl, I need a girl, baby I need you, girl you need me too..." Snake said to Samus, who was awkwardly making her sandwich as Snake continued to charm her. "I love girls...girls I do adore..." That line was enough to make Samus quickly finish making her sandwich and depart from the kitchen, with blazing speed. A distraught Snake looked on, as Sonic approached the former spy.
"The day is still young Snake - just gotta keep on trying!" the hedgehog encouraged Snake instilling the former spy with a grain of confidence.
Cloud arrived at CenturyLink Field via Captain Falcon's Blue Falcon, and upon arrival, Cloud was escorted to the stadium by Tsubasa and Eleonora. The swordsman found it strange as to why the two idol singers were present and waiting for his arrival, but as he stated, he decided to save any questioning until later.
"Any of you ladies know why I of all people was invited to this 'barbecue'?" Cloud asked Tsubasa and Eleonora, as he was waiting with the two inside the tunnels of CenturyLink Field. "Do you also know who's in charge of the barbecue?" Of the questions Cloud had on his mind, this question he needed an answer to the most.
"We were just told to wait for you and take you outside until further notice," answered Tsubasa, keeping Cloud's suspicions at an all-time high. "That's really the only information we can supply you with right now." Just then Shulk popped up, giving Tsubasa and Elenora a thumbs up before running off to who-knows-where.
"Looks like it's time for the barbecue to begin," stated Eleonora, as she and Tsubasa took Cloud to wherever Shulk went to. "You're going to enjoy this barbecue Cloud, we just know it!"
But as it turned out, there wasn't a barbecue at all...Cloud, Tsubasa, and Eleonora stepped out from a tunnel, and both Tsubasa and Eleonora stopped as Cloud kept on walking, looking at the seats and seeing a bunch of common folks, cheering on for the swordsman. Although Cloud was bewildered enough, his bewilderment would increase by tenfold when he saw Sora standing on a large stage, holding a microphone in his hand.
"Ladies and gentlemen, the guest of the hour has finally arrived!" Sora spoke into a microphone, while Cloud maintained a confused look on his face. "Now Cloud, I know you may be angry, confused, or both, but I'm doing this just for you. You have lost your memories, that much I'm certain, and I'm here to bring them back for you! Cloud Strife...this is your LIFE!"
Right on cue, Pit and Dark Pit flew over CenturyLink Field, raining down confetti and balloons as the crowd cheered and some circus-like music played in the background. All while Cloud just stood there speechless, as the confetti rained down on his face, the animosity building up inside him enough to make both of his fists clench with rage.
Eleonora: You think Sora would pay us for our efforts?
Tsubasa: Forget pay...I just hope Cloud won't hate us forever for our involvement in this thing.
Against his own will, Cloud was escorted to the stage by Tsubasa and Eleonora, where he would find himself face to face with someone he desired to punch in the face with both fists...Sora. The grin on Sora's face didn't do much to quell Cloud's anger.
"Let's start things off with two familiar faces - two of my most favorite people!" exclaimed Sora, as he turned towards the tunnel behind him. "Donald and Goofy, come on out!" Two goobers dressed up in Donald and Goofy costumes, respectively, came out of the tunnel while some fancy Disney-esque music played, and joined Sora onstage, where the Keyblade wielder wrapped his arms around their heads. "Certainly you remember these two, Cloud - my traveling buddies Donald and Goofy! Traveled to all sorts of worlds together, all as a means to fight against the forces of evil! Since Donald and Goofy couldn't make it, I had to settle with these two guys kind enough to dress up as them." Tsubasa gave Cloud a microphone, and the swordsman knew what to say...
"Sora, the fact that you're best friends with fictional Disney characters makes me question your overall sanity, and though I feel less than obligated to do this, I feel really bad for you about your lack of true friendship," Cloud spoke into the mic, stressing the meaning of his response.
"They may not be real to you, but they're real to me! Maybe the next guest will jog your memory a little bit! Everyone, give a warm welcome for the one and only...King Mickey!" The music played again as a man dressed up as Mickey Mouse exited the tunnel, and joined Sora onstage, waving to an indifferent Cloud. "I know you and King Mickey never met before, but Mickey is the king of Disney Castle, and that makes him well known by everyone! Remember when King Mickey went off during the Heartless battle? You and Leon were killin' it, too!"
Sora: Couldn't find King Mickey anywhere in this world, so I had to settle for a "costume" version of him...
"The only Heartless battle I was ever a part of was the one that took place in the city," stated Cloud, not remembering King Mickey showing up. "And by Leon, you aren't referring to Squall Leonhart, are you? Truth be told, I never met the guy, or his woman."
"Figured you would say that...unfortunately Leon couldn't show up today, didn't know how to reach out to him," said Sora, as Cloud let out a sigh of relief. The swordsman didn't even want to see Leon anyways. Besides, everyone in this universe preferred Squall over Leon. "But we still have a ton of stuff to get to, so everyone hold your horses!"
Alm and Celica were in the dining room, enjoying a plate of spaghetti together as they were looking at each other lovingly in the eyes. Spying on the Valentian couple from afar was Kirby and Viridi, who were determined to mess the crap out of the couple.
"Alright, so here's the plan..." Kirby took out a bottle of liquid laxative he found lying about. "Since Alm and Celica are too busy looking at each other, you pour this liquid laxative in their spaghetti, without being caught. You think you can do that?"
"Pfft, how hard can it be, not like those two lovebirds will pay any attention," smirked Viridi, taking the bottle from Kirby. "Screwing up their spaghetti will be a piece of cake!" Viridi entered the dining room unsuspectingly, and secretly poured the liquid laxative in the bowl of spaghetti...too bad there were was already company in the kitchen, as the goddess of light, Palutena, was cooking away on the stove in the kitchen when she saw Viridi through the dining room entrance, pouring the bottle of lax into the spaghetti with the corner of her eye
"Viridi, what on earth are you doing to Alm and Celica's spaghetti?" Palutena asked the goddess of nature, during her act. Viridi had just poured the liquid lax into the spaghetti, and was now leaning over the dining room table.
"I was just...sprucing up their lunch, that's all!" answered Viridi, with an innocent smile on her face. "Nothing like some grated cheese on your spaghetti! Isn't that right, Alm and Celica?" The couple just looked at each other in bewilderment, unsure what to make of the situation at hand.
"I guess you're right Viridi, anything is better with cheese, I suppose..." replied Celica, although she and Alm didn't see any grated cheese on their spaghetti - unless it was invisible.
"Okay Viridi, just making sure!" gleamed Palutena, as she continued her cooking. Viridi quickly returned to Kirby, as Alm and Celica resumed eating their spaghetti.
Kirby: Found the liquid laxative lying in the hallway, near Yoshi's room. As strange as it may sound, Yoshi has some very interesting - and useful - objects lying near his room...wonder if Yoshi ever uses them.
Kirby and Viridi kept a close watch of Alm and Celica, as Alm took a bite from the spaghetti with his eyes still focused on his smiling wife, Celica. Seconds after Alm ate his spoonful of spaghetti, he suddenly heard his stomach grumble, and the king clutched his stomach with both hands.
"Alm, what's wrong, did you eat too much spaghetti?" Celica asked her husband, who grimaced in pain as he fell down to the floor. Alm's stomach grumbled even harder, as Alm let out a yelp of pain.
"My stomach is killing me...and my anus...is killing me too..." replied Alm, as the pain soon become too unbearable for him. An upset stomach and an agitated anus only meant one thing...Alm was about to suffer from some serious diarrhea, thanks to the liquid lax Viridi poured in the spaghetti.
"I have to take you to the bathroom immediately, you must have a case of an upset stomach!" Celica helped Alm up to his feet, and escorted him out of the dining room and to the nearest bathroom. Kirby and Viridi, wanting to see the end result of their prank, followed Alm and Celica, passing by Yoshi along the way.
"Have you guys seen my bottle of liquid laxative anywhere?" Yoshi would ask Kirby and Viridi as the two passed by, only to walk away when he was ignored. "This is what I get for having Knuckles as a roommate, always throwing my belongings out of the room for no good reason..."
Lucina, having been the third woman to take a shower today, exited from the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her body, texting away on her cellphone. The princess wouldn't get that far when a police siren sounded, and the twosome of Toon Link and Young Link arrived on their Segways, accompanied by Duck Hunt Dog.
"Walking around the mansion while wearing a towel - very scandalous, don't you think?" Toon Link interrogated Lucina, as he and Young Link had an arrow pointed at the princess of Yliesse. Lucina would be more intimidated by the police officers...if they weren't little kids with bows in their hands instead of guns.
"Don't you two look cute in your nice police uniforms..." said Lucina, to which Toon Link nor Young Link took as a compliment. "...and for your information Toon, I just got out of the shower, not like I was spending my entire day walking around with this towel on."
"Then tell us why you're texting someone, if you just got finished taking a shower," demanded Young Link; truthfully he didn't want to harm Lucina and fire an arrow at her, but if it had to come to that...
"Had my cellphone in the bathroom while I was taking my shower, and my phone has been blaring nonstop because of Father sending me text message after text message. So I'm texting Father right now, if that will make him shut up."
"How do we know Father isn't a pyromaniac bent on terrorizing kids like us so that adults can rule the world with an iron fist?!" questioned Toon Link; kudos if you know the guy he was referring to. "We all know YOU stole Peach's wedding ring, admit it Lucina!"
"Like I would ever steal someone's ring...and what would I do with Peach's ring in the first place? Sell it at some pawn shop in Seattle?" Toon Link and Young Link simultaneously gasped in horror, greatly befuddling Lucina.
"She admitted to stealing Peach's ring, and she sold it to some pawn shop!" exclaimed Young Link, with his hands on his head. "This is just the breakthrough we needed! You're under arrest Lucina, enjoy doing time in the slammer!" Young Link got out some handcuffs from his police uniform, and by the time he got the cuffs out, Chrom showed up, eating from a granola bar, and saw his daughter wearing a towel and the Links dressed up as police officers...too much confusion for the prince to handle.
Chrom: No wonder Lucina didn't answer my texts, she was too busy taking a shower...maybe I should have called her instead, her phone was in the bathroom, and I'm sure her phone answers calls automatically. Would it work if Lucina doesn't have her phone on speakerphone, though?
"Great news, Chrom, we have caught the thief who stole Peach's wedding ring...it was your daughter Lucina!" Toon Link announced to the prince, as Lucina looked at her father and shook her head no. "She admitted to stealing the ring, and selling it at a pawn shop in town!" Chrom couldn't help but laugh at Toon Link's accusation - Lucina stealing anything was so unlike her.
"Toon Link, Lucina didn't steal Peach's wedding ring, and I should know - I'm her father," stated Chrom, before giving a reassuring wink to Lucina. "Also, what evidence do you have that she was the culprit? I think you two should continue your investigation and search for more clues, instead of falsely accusing others."
"You're right Chrom, we were a little too quick to accuse your daughter...sorry about the false accusations, Lucina. We'll just be on their way." Toon Link and Young Link sped off on their Segways, with duck Hunt Dog accompanying them as the police siren sounded yet again. The case of Peach's wedding ring still had yet to reach a forgone conclusion.
With the mansion's security system experiencing an unforeseen glitch, and X stuck with Peach, Layton, and others at the Star Records room, Samus had to take matters into her own hands and fix the bug herself, completing her task in the arcade room as she accessed the security system on a supercomputer - a supercomputer that was actually the Shovel Knight arcade machine, if you recall from episode 48.
"Samus I don't mean to rush you, but are you done yet?" Donkey Kong asked the bounty hunter as she was in the middle of duty. "My nephew and I would like to play the Shovel Knight game, and I'm gonna cream him like I did last time!"
"I let you win last time DK, you just got lucky," said Diddy Kong, who may or may not be coming up with a crappy excuse to dismiss his poor play. "My green Knight is gonna wipe the floor with your..."
"Aaaaand...DONE!" Samus announced after she was finished configuring with the security system, as she return the arcade machine back to its original state. "Okay boys, I fixed the glitch in the security system, and now you can play your Shovel Knight game. Enjoy...I guess."
Samus turned and headed to the arcade room exit, but when she opened the door...she saw Snake, standing at the doorway with his hand resting on the door frame. The former spy was smiling creepily, as he sprayed some breath freshener into his mouth, and advanced towards Samus, grinning somewhat seductively...
"Let me lick you up and down, until you say stop..." Snake said to Samus, who was nervously backing away. "Let me play with your body, make you real hot..."
"Snake what has gotten into you today, have you been smoking crack lately?" asked Samus as she backed away, while the Kongs looked on sharing the bounty hunter's levels of concern and nervousness. Snake crept closer to Samus, his grin still intact.
"Let me do all the things you want me to do...cause tonight, baby, I WANNA GET FREAKY WITH YOU!" Snake accompanied the latter part of the last line with some rather aggressive pelvic thrusting, prompting Donkey Kong to cover Diddy's eyes. Snake had gone full bonkers, and it was all because of Sonic.
Sonic: A great way to swoon over a girl is by using R&B songs, which I'm sure is what most black men like Knuckles have done. There wasn't a rule that stated white men like Snake can use R&B songs to charm a girl, however, which gave me all the more reason to use this 90's song, "Freak Me" by Silk. Would have used "Super Freak", but that was too obvious of a song choice.
Diddy Kong: I think Snake unintentionally scarred me for life...
Unable to tolerate Snake's foolishness anymore, Samus slapped the former spy silly, sending him back and out of the arcade room as he held his face in pain and fell onto the floor. Sonic appeared, and saw Snake face-first on the floor, seething with defeat.
"Samus rejected you for a second time, huh?" the blue blur asked Snake, who nodded his head to the best of his ability. "Man you were right, Samus really does play hard to get! But we can't throw in the towel just yet, gonna keep on trying!"
The "Cloud Strife: This is Your LIFE!" festivities continued at CenturyLink Field, with the spectators feeling bored as Sora was now introducing several species of Heartless to Cloud, who was still bewildered by everything. (Keep in mind that the "Heartless" were folks asked by Master Hand and Mario to dress up as Heartless.) The spectators who came to watch the festivities for free were only here because of Master Hand, who lied to everyone and told them there would be free food. Easy to sway just about anyone with free stuff, even if there's no free stuff whatsoever!
"Cloud, I know you probably don't remember any of the stuff I showed you, but the next guy coming out on stage will surely give your memories back!" Sora said to the swordsman, who didn't care who the next guest was. "Everyone give it up for the strong, the mighty, the one and only...Hercules!"
Some trumpets sounded, as a man dressed up like Hercules of Disney lore walked out from the tunnel, flexing his muscles, before joining Sora onstage. Cloud, much like McKayla Maroney at the 2012 Olympics, was NOT impressed.
"This is a guy you should remember, Cloud, and his name is Hercules!" exclaimed Sora, as the Hercules man continued to flex his muscles. "The two of you competed at Olympus Coliseum, vying to see who was the stronger competitor! Did you know that, Cloud?"
"The only thing I know about Hercules is that there was a Disney movie released about him in the nineties," replied Cloud, having seen the film during one of the Smash Mansion's movie nights. Aerith pretty much forced the guy to watch the film.
"Aw what, Hercules was a main character a theatrical film?! Were we in it?" Sora, realizing that he was getting ahead of himself, quickly regained his composure. "I'll ask you about that later, once this thing is over. If there was one thing you remember, it was that three-headed dog that crushed you and nearly killed you...and his name, is Cerberus!" More trumpets sounded, as Sora waited for a three-headed dog to exit the tunnel...but no dog came out. "...I said...his name, is Cerberus!" The trumpets sounded again, and no sign of the dog. Sora turned around, and saw not Cerberus, but Shulk standing at the tunnel entrance.
"Cerberus has ran away and may not return ever again!" announced Shulk, his voice loud enough for everyone to hear. "Carry on as planned!" The Homs went back inside the tunnel, leaving Sora greatly displeased.
Shulk: So apparently Sora wanted me to get a Houndoom, have it Mega Evolve, and tape two fake Mega Houndoom heads to the Pokemon and have it pass for Cerberus. Obviously I didn't want to offend the intelligence of anyone in attendance, especially Pokemon fans and Greek mythology fans, so I just came up with some lousy excuse.
"Well, um...that's pretty unfortunate..." said Sora, after the news was announced. "But I guess that leaves us with our last guest of the day!" Cloud let out a silent breath of relief; his torture was about to end soon. "Here comes our last guest - he's the king of the Underworld, and has a very hot temper...HADES!"
"Excuse me, but did I just hear my name called out?" a loud voice was heard, walking half the crowd up from their nap. A moment later, a giant, humanoid demonic deity, with purple skin and a multi-colored hair, showed up at CenturyLink Field, his head hovering over the stadium. "I was just about to meet up with Ganondorf in this city when I heard my name called! Who dares call upon the mighty Hades?"
"Sup Hades, long time no see!" Pit, who was flying in the air with Dark Pit, waved to Hades, as Dark Pit facepalmed. Evidently Pit found nothing wrong with being friendly towards an enemy he tangled with before.
"Wow Hades, is that really you up there?" Sora asked Hades...but this wasn't the Hades that he knew. "You sure grew a lot in size, and your appearance has changed greatly too! So what have you been up to lately, you know what Maleficent is up to these days?"
"Silly boy, I'm not the Hades you may be thinking of!" Hades laughed at Sora's face. He probably thought the Keyblade wielder was the dumbest person in existence. "There is only one Hades in this universe, and that Hades is I! Also, what's with the festivities, why are all these people here?"
"I'm hosting this thing called 'Cloud Strife: This Is Your LIFE!' I'm helping my good friend Cloud Strife regain his memories, and I'm doing that by taking him on a little trip down memory lane. Doing what most good friends do."
"Cloud Strife's the sword guy with the blonde, spiky hair, right?" Sora nodded his head to Hades's question. "Just wondering...because that man you speak of is no longer here!"
Hades was right - Cloud was no longer on the stage, and he was no longer in the stadium. He must've ran off while Sora was distracted! Guy couldn't take it anymore, and you couldn't blame him...
Zero: The fast forward button on Fox's stupid media player still won't work, no matter how hard we try...so we're waiting for the video to show something interesting, how long that will take. Wish Little Mac and Knuckles were here, they would deliver a rap battle for the ages and easily end our boredom.
Layton, Luke, Peach, Fox, Falco, X, Zero, and Proto Man remained in the Star Records room, feeling bored as the security footage played on Fox's laptop. Luke, wanting to end the boredom, wished to play a game to pass the time.
"Let's play a game called the Green Glass Door!" exclaimed the young detective, grabbing everyone's attention. "Basically you have to name people and things, and I can decide whether they can go through or not. Fox, would you like to start things off?"
"Sure thing, Luke - can I go through the Green Glass Door?" the pilot quickly asked Luke...who shook his head, much to his chagrin. "You for real bro?! What about my man Falco, can he go through the door?" Luke shook his head again, angering both Fox and Falco.
"What about me Luke, can I go through the Green Glass Door?" asked Peach, as Luke thought about the princess. The others waited attentively to see what the young detective's verdict was.
"As long as you enter the door assuming your title as a princess...then you're welcome to enter!" responded Luke, prompting Fox and Falco to throw minor fits of rage and anger. Either Luke was playing the game exactly how it was supposed to be played, or he was twisting the rules in Peach's favor.
"Huh, so I guess other hot babes like Samus and Celica and Aerith are welcome to enter the Green Glass Door," frowned Falco as he folded his arms, refusing to play Luke's little game anymore. Same went for Fox.
"Actually that's not true, they can't go through the Green Glass Door, but girls like Wii Fit Trainer and Bayonetta can!" This greatly befuddled Fox and Falco - what were the requirements for going through the door?! They just didn't understand...do you understand? (If so, then kudos.)
Layton looked on Fox's laptop monitor, and in the security footage, he saw a cloaked figure, entering the ballroom flanked by several dudes wearing suits and ski masks while holding propane tanks. Layton propped himself up to his seat, enthralled by what he was seeing.
"Guys, I think we have something exciting happen in that security footage!" announced Layton, as everyone looked at Fox's laptop screen. They all watched in awe as the cloaked figure directed the ski mask dudes to a faraway corner of the ballroom, where the propane was placed. Once the ski mask dudes were done with their deed, the cloaked figure and his goons retreated from the ballroom, as the security footage ended.
"That cloaked man (or woman) can't be Organization XIII, we already took care of them weeks ago," stated Peach, after the video was finished playing. "No way they could have returned to our universe. So who could that person be, and who were those men with them?"
"We may not know the answers to those questions now..." replied Layton, smiling as he tipped his hat, "...but we do have quite the mystery on our hands." Having seen the security footage, Layton and Luke were ready to roll!
Layton: Enjoy the time that you have, cloaked stranger...just know that Luke Triton and I are coming for you! *points at camera*
Following a long day of investigating, Toon Link and Young Link met in their "office", or rather, their bedroom, eating doughnuts and malasadas. On the wall were posted pictures of the mansion residents, and each every one of them a culprit in the case of Peach's stolen wedding ring.
"Alright, let's start off with our first possible culprit - Chrom," Toon Link started things off, taking Chrom's picture off the wall and showing it to Young Link. "What do you think of the prince, Young Link?"
"He was named after an internet browser, long before said internet browser was even conceived, so that automatically makes Chrom suspicious in my eyes," stated Young Link, as Toon nodded his head in agreement. "Not to mention that he named his daughter Lucina, when regular dads just name their daughters Lucy, so that makes Chrom even more suspicious..." ...or it just makes Chrom fancy.
"You and I, we think alike...and I like that from you," Toon said this as he placed the picture of Chrom on his dresser, before taking Olimar's picture off the wall. "What do you think of his potential culprit?"
"Olimar has his eyes closed all the time...except when he's stealing valuable items like wedding rings! Definite culprit in my eyes, no mistake about it!"
"Feel the same way too, there's a reason Olimar pretends to go about his day like a blind person. It's all an evil act..." Toon placed Olimar's picture on the dresser, and then took down a picture of Kiria. "And what about Kiria, do you think she was the culprit?"
"I don't know if Kiria's the culprit or not...but I do know that she's kinda hot..." Young Link smiled, as Toon Link raised an eyebrow at his friend. Was Young Link slightly corpsing? Somebody send for the man!
"The cuss are you even talking about?"
"The cuss am I talking about? Who the cuss are you?"
"You cussing with me right now?"
"You bet the cussing cuss I am! And don't cussing talk to me like that!"
"DON'T MAKE ME KICK YOUR CUSSING BEHIND, YOU CUSSHOLE!"
"OH FOR CUSS'S SAKE, I'D RATHER SEE YOU CUSSING TRY!"
Toon Link and Young Link soon became embroiled in a slap fight, their heads turned away as they flailed their arms about at one another. The noises they were making were enough to attract King K. Rool, who opened the door to the "office" to see what was going on.
King K. Rool: All this talk about Peach's stolen wedding ring...it's a good thing I wasn't convicted yet... *gives a toothy grin*
"Mario where are you, I have some important news to share with you!" Peach called out, running down the hallways, util she bumped into King K. Rool, knocking the Kremling over by accident. Both Peach and Rool fell to the floor, and a piece of jewelry fell out from Rool...Peach's wedding ring, which the princess noticed. "...Rool, is that my wedding ring?" Rool quickly looked at the wedding ring and scooped it up, as Peach angrily had her hands on her hips.
"Uh, this isn't your wedding ring, Princess Peach...it's just a very rare and expensive Ring Pop," stated Rool, an excuse Peach obviously didn't buy. "Allow me to show you." Rool was literally about to lick Peach's wedding ring...but thankfully two officers stopped the Kremling in his tracks, their arrows pointed at the true culprit - Toon Link and Young Link.
"Knew you couldn't resist the allure of jewelry, like Peach's ring...hands up where we can see 'em!" Toon Link said to Rool, who tossed the wedding ring to Peach and held his arms up. "King K. Rool, you're under arrest...and you're coming with us!"
"Honey how are you doing, you doing okay?" fretted Celica, her left ear pressed against the bathroom door as her husband Alm was using the bathroom, dropping deuces - and a whole lot of 'em, too.
"Can't...stop...the runs..." Alm's voice was heard from behind the bathroom door, as the liquid laxatives was taking over the king's body. Watching from afar was Kirby and Viridi, who were laughing at Alm's misfortune until their friend Pit met up with them, having returned from CenturyLink Field.
"So what are you guys laughing at?" the angel asked Kirby and Viridi; the latter gasped when she turned and saw Pit, and she gave him a huge hug. Alm and Celica no longer mattered to Viridi now, for her boyfriend had returned.
"Hi Pit, welcome back - Viridi and I messed with Alm, poured some liquid lax in his and Celica's spaghetti, and gave him the case of the runs," Kirby explained to Pit, who was trying to pry Viridi off of him. "Should've been there, Pit."
Walking by Pit, Viridi, and Kirby was Cloud, and man, was he ticked. The swordsman, who had walked home from the stadium, had a huge bulk of his day wasted by Sora, and not only that, he felt bad for anyone who had to involve themselves with Sora. They were bound to hold an L for all of eternity.
"How was the barbecue Cloud, did you have a great time?" Link asked the swordsman, who walked by his best friend and Zelda, storming off in anger and ignoring Link altogether. Poor Hylian is so disrespected, even by his best friend...
"Don't you think Sora may have something to do with Cloud's temper?" Zelda asked Link who, knowing from experience, nodded his head.
Cloud: Sora has officially crossed the line, and it seems like he won't be reprimanded for his foolishness. Somebody has got to teach that dude a lesson...and frankly it has to be me. But I won't do it alone...
"Sure you want to go about this, Cloud?" Samus would ask the swordsman, the two exiting the workshop. "Master Hand would kill you if you go forth with this plan!" Cloud didn't care - he just wanted Sora out of his life, for good.
"He can kill me all he wants - as long as Sora's taken care of, that's what matters," replied Cloud as he walked away, heading to his room. Samus sighed, wondering when Cloud became so...so ambitious, and was about to head to her room...
...when suddenly her cellphone rang. Samus looked at the caller ID, unable to recognize it, but answered the call anyways, just to see who it was.
"Hello...is it me you're looking for?" a gravelly voice said over the phone, and Samus was quick to realize who this voice belonged to. No point in entertaining a conversation with the caller.
"Sorry wrong number," the bounty hunter hung up her phone and walked away, pretending like the call never happened. Peeking from the corner in the hallway was Snake, using his codec, and snapping his fingers in defeat as Samus walked away. Sonic walked up to Sonic, placing a comforting hand on the former spy's shoulder.
"One of these days you'll get her Snake..." assured Sonic, watching Samus head down the hallway. "One of these days you'll be successful..."
"Thanks for inviting me over today Mario, really enjoy these negotiations," Jakob said to Mario, exiting Master Hand's room. "Still wish I wasn't part of that whole shindig involving Cloud, gotta feel bad for him." Arguably the lowlight of Cloud's day, and maybe Jakob's.
"Sorry I had-a to drag you in-a there, but Sora couldn't be a one-a man band, if you know-a what I mean," apologized Mario, expressing sympathy for everyone else who was involved with Sora today. "Shall we meet again-a next week?"
"Just like we agreed to.. Goodbye Mario - hope you and Peach enjoy your first normal week as newlyweds. Take care!" Jakob waved to Mario, and Mario would wave back, as Jakob headed to the front door and exited the Smash Mansion. Once outside and on the front yard, the butler looked up at the sky, with his hands in his pockets and a smile on his face.
As the butler stated earlier, he had nothing to lose.