Author's Note:
Earlier update than usual this time around. Splatoon 2 is being released soon, so it'll be a Splatoon-themed chapter today. Not to mention that this story now has its own TV Tropes page, check it out here: /FanFic/SmashLife. Also got some guest reviews:
"Have any of Mario's allies from Paper Mario 64 and The Thousand Year Door appeared yet? Can you include a small scene with Pascal from Tales of Graces F, Agria, Lissa, and Alisa from God Eater meeting each other? (Kate Higgins voices them) A small fight scene with Tifa and Snow Villiers? Have Mouser, Tryclyde, and Wart from Super Mario Bros. 2 appeared yet? And finally, what are your thoughts on Alexis Tipton replacing Laura Bailey as Lucina for Fire Emblem Warriors?"
PM64 and TTYD characters will be appearing when the time is right. The scene with Pascal and others probably won't happen. Could do a scene with Tifa and Snow. The SMB2 characters have not appeared, and I doubt they will. And I'm too salty to even answer the last question - got nothing against Miss Titpon though. Moving on to Koalia Limanson:
"1. Could we maybe see the Digimon cast? I do recall someone who reviewed last year about the same idea...
2. Bruh, it may be unlikely but shouldn't Pikachu and Pichu talk by now? I know there was this Christmas last year where Bowser gave Kirby and Game & Watch a translator, but since these Pokemon are brawlers, why not have them get one too?
3. One more thing. Are you a male or female? Do you have a brother/sister?"
1. Mark Thomas asked me about that...Digimon in "Smash Life" has yet to happen.
2. I actually prefer Pikachu and Pichu not speaking, seems better that way.
3. I'm male...thought my pen name made that obvious. Since you're curious, I have three older sisters and one older brother, so I'm the baby of the family. One of my sisters is actually a writer on this site! Her pen name is Princess Kairi98, and she writes the ever-popular Naruto fanfic "Tomboy to Princess", a romantic fanfic involving Sakura Haruno and guys...a whole lot of guys. Recommend that you check it out, if you're a Naruto fan like myself. (Link to story: s/3903942/1/Tomboy-to-Princess)
Now we have a reviewer I haven't seen in a good while...J300.
"I hope you continue the Kirby prank train. Nice references, and can we see Luke play the umbrella game?"
Nice seeing you again, buddy! The Kirby prank train will continue in the next chapter. And I would have Luke play the umbrella game...if I didn't have trouble understanding it. Moving on:
"Can we see more Akira Ryu Red and Wario?"
Wario will be featured in this chapter, but I will try and focus on the other three as much as possible. Last up is Roydigs22:
"Could you do a miitopia arc when it comes out? The party will be: lucario- warrior, lopunny-cleric, gardevoir- mage, and gallade, theif"
Probably won't be an arc, but we'll see how it goes...
Episode 83: Inkopolis
There was some major trouble brewing in Inkopolis, the hub for Inklings everywhere - most notably among the Squid Sisters, Marie and Callie. If you recall, there was a major Splatfest that took place last July, in which participants could vote for their favorite Squid Sister. And according to the final results, Marie was named the most favorite - which made Callie feel some type of way, like she was unloved.
While the Squid Sisters left the Splatfest arm in arm, smiling and laughing and having a great time, things wouldn't look so rosy after the Splatfest had come to an end. A huge rift grew between Marie and Callie, what with Callie being unresponsive and not showing up at the apartment where the Squid Sisters lived at. She never answered any of Marie's calls, and didn't let anyone know where she was. It was almost like the Inkling had gone missing! And it was tearing the friendship between the Squid Sisters apart.
Perhaps no one was more concerned, worried, and depressed about Callie's whereabouts than the male Inkling, who as you might recall from episode 32, had a huge obsession with Callie, whereas his female counterpart was obsessed with Marie. Ever since Callie went missing, the male Inkling has been worried sick, to the point where he didn't want to have a paint battle, or do anything fun. When the female Inkling entered her room, she saw a despondent male Inkling lying on his bed, with a blanket over his head, the window shades down, and My Chemical Romance's "I'm Not Okay (I Promise)" blaring from his radio. Pretty fitting song, don't you think?
"Wake up sleepyhead, I made you some breakfast," the female Inkling, holding a tray of waffles and orange juice, said to her male counterpart, placing the tray on the Inkling's dresser before pulling the shades up, shining light on the male Inkling. "Can't stay in your room forever, you do have a life, you know..."
"I wasn't asleep, I was just resting my eyes," stated the male Inkling, throwing his blanket off of him and throwing it on the floor before taking a few sips from his glass of orange juice. "Oh, and thanks for the breakfast - didn't expect you of all people to fix breakfast for me."
"Ah yes, the good ol' 'I was resting my eyes' excuse...works every time." The female Inkling grabbed the blanket off the floor, and threw it in the clothing hamper. Would have been better if she threw the blanket like she was shooting a basketball. "Look, you can't be worrying about Callie forever - it's not like you're losing your only daughter or anything like that."
Female Inkling: Callie has been missing for almost a year, it seems like, and now all of a sudden her disappearance has gotten to my Inkling friend. Some think that she's taking a break from being with Marie all the time, while others assume that Callie is dead...don't know why these death theories exist, or how they even make sense. It's like if Mario were to go missing, everyone would assume the guy's dead, like someone killed him. Online theorists are some very interesting folk...
"But Callie made the Squid Sisters a must-see attraction, she's the one that brings the Splatfests to a whole other level," explained the male Inkling, eating his waffes with his hands and not the utensils he was provided with. The female Inkling would agree with her friend...if she wasn't so pro-Marie. "Without her, the Splatfests will never, ever be the same!"
"Well look on the bright side...we got two new hosts, in Pearl and Marina! Two ladies from the band Off the Hook!" The male Inkling wasn't impressed in the slightest - he just wanted his girl Callie back. "Everyone loves them already...well, Pearl, not so sure, but everyone loves Marina! I think we should go to Inkopolis and get a chance to meet them in person!"
"And why would they want to meet two lousy scrubs like us? Don't think they would have any time in the world to meet us...besides, I refuse to go to Inkopolis unless I know what happened to Callie. Doubt Pearl and Marina will have any answers..."
"It wouldn't hurt to visit them, I'm sure they'll love us!" exclaimed the female Inkling, as Master Hand was outside the Inklings' room, eavesdropping on their conversation. The fact that Pearl and Marina were in a band almost intrigued the giant hand...
Mario and Peach were at their new house, checking out their digs as they looked at everything from the living room, to the bedrooms, to the bathrooms, to the laundry area, to even the game room, which had all your gameday essentials. It was pretty much like Luigi and Daisy's home, but with some slightly different alterations so it didn't feel the same.
"Still can't believe you thought Master Hand hired those lovely Carptenters to build some brothel," sighed Peach, as she and Mario were taking a peek at their master bedroom, which came with a ceiling fan that Mario was trying to get to turn on. "Why would Master Hand build a brothel, especially in the presence of minors like Young Link and Villager and the Inlklings?"
"Maybe Wario was-a the one who put-a Master Hand up to it," shrugged Mario, flipping the light switch that was supposed to turn on the fan, though nothing happened. Then the plumber saw a chain switch hanging from the fan; he hopped on top of the bed and pulled it, and just like that, the fan finally turned on, its blades circling about in a fast, spinning motion. "There, I got-a the fan on!"
"Hopefully we can just turn the fan on with just the light switch, without having to rely on the chain forever. Having to get on the bed to turn the fan on would be..." Peach came to a sudden stop, when she heard some murmuring from inside the master bedroom closet, followed by some quiet laughing. The princess headed over to the closet and opened the doors...seeing Pit and Kirby inside, snickering with one another. Their snickering would come to an end, when they looked up and saw Mario and Peach angrily looking at them, with Peach's hands on her hips. BUSTED!
"How did-a you boys get in-a side our closet?" Mario asked Pit and Kirby, who briefly looked at one another, seemingly to figure out which one of the two would tell the married couple the answer. The fact that the two were hiding in the clothes hamper made them look even more suspicious.
"Some evil guy mugged us and threw us in your closet," explained Pit, offering a story that was too hard for Mario and Peach to believe. And that was without mentioning the mugging part - what evil guy would want to deal with Pit and Kirby anyways? "Being stuck in this hamper has been a very cruel fate." Kirby quickly nodded his head, supporting his friend's strange explanation.
Pit: We were trying to scare Mario and Peach...when they were in their master bedroom, we expected them to open the closet door so we can spook them, and they'll be like, "AAAAAAAH!" and scream at the top of their lungs...but no, Kirby decided to pass gas, and make a laughing matter out of it! Who do you think you are, Wario 2.0?!
Kirby: Pit you know well that I cannot fart, since I don't have an anus. So quit trying to put the blame on me. Thank goodness I don't have a nose...
"Who exactly was this 'evil guy' that you speak of?" asked Peach, as Pit and Kirby pulled themselves out of the hamper. The hamper was empty, which likely meant that Mario and Peach had already washed their clothes.
"We would tell you, but we both lost our memory of who the person was when he threw us in the closet...or in the hamper, rather," replied Kirby, adding on to Pit's strange, unusual story. "Once our heads hit the bottom of the floor...or the hamper, we lost not only brain cells, but also..."
"So you don't remember the person behind your 'mugging', but you remember him throwing you two inside our closet. Tell me, Kirby, or Pit - how did this mugger gain access to our house? When exactly did this mugging take place? At morning, noon, or night?" It was at this moment that Pit and Kirby soon realized the flaws in their unbelievable story.
But the bumbling pair would soon be bailed out of having to answer more questions, when Master Hand magically appeared in the master bedroom. This was the giant hand's first time in Mario's home, since he promised the plumber he would leave him and Peach alone for a week as they got adjusted, and he really liked what Mario and Peach had done to their bedroom.
"Mario, Peach, I'm impressed by how well you did this bedroom!" Master Hand commended Mario and Peach for their efforts, scanning the bedroom in its entirety. "Really liked what you did here, wonder how the rest of your home looks like! But I'm not here to look around, for I have a 'mission' for you both...you see, the female Inkling wishes to take her Inkling friend to Inkopolis, to cheer him up about this whole Callie situation, and I was wondering if..."
"Let-a me guess - this 'mission' has-a something to do with the new-a Splatfest hosts, Pearl and Marina," guessed Mario; the plumber had gained this information from the female Inkling, when the announcement concerning Pearl and Marina was heard.
"Presisely! Since Pearl and Marina are from a band called Off the Hook, I was wondering if you and Peach could travel with the Inklings to Inkopolis and see if you can 'lure' Pearl and Marina to the Smash Mansion. There is a likelihood that we might lose an idol singer or two if any of the performers from Star Records has been convicted of the hotel attack - if that bank statement is any indication - so I'm essentially doing Fox and Falco a favor by finding them suitable replacements, if we have to lose any Star Records employees."
"Ooh, can Kirby and I tag along, we always wanted to see Inkopolis!" Pit appeared out from the closet to ask Master Hand, excitedly raising his hand to be seen. Master Hand heaved a heavy sigh; he wanted just Mario and Peach to complete the 'mission', but there was no stopping Pit's overflowing curiosity.
"...I'll ask Mega Man about it, he'll have a final say on whether you can come or not." After saying this, Master Hand disappeared, as Pit was getting all giddy. Kid can't give his hopes up, it wasn't like there was a decision made on him and Kirby yet.
Samus: Finally finished with Cloud's little "secret project"...it will be ready to go very soon. Reason why Master Hand won't be so fond of it is because...well, let's just say that this invention of mine, while it's not really much of an invention, is up there with Navi in terms of annoyance. Master Hand apparently has a "Zero Navi Policy" in effect, and after today, he might have to make another policy soon...
Aerith was mightily busy in the mansion's gardens, tending to all the flowers and the plants and all that good stuff, with some helpful assistance from Alph, who according to Olimar was a budding gardener thanks to his teachings. While Aerith and Alph were doing their thing, Link and Cloud were gathered far away from the gardeners, enjoying a conversation with one another.
"I'm surprised Cloud, Sora hasn't annoyed you all week long," remarked Link, as Cloud scratched his blonde hair. Sora keeping his distance from Cloud has saved him a beating of a lifetime from the swordsman. "You think it might have something to do with you walking out of that 'This Is Your Life' thing, the one Dark Pit was talking about?"
"Surely I wasn't the first person that walked out of that trainwreck," replied Cloud, after he was finished scratching his hair. "Poor Sora was trying everything he could to impress me - got some dudes dressed up as Disney characters, and hitched up the sound guy from CenturyLink Field to play some stupid songs to keep the thing going. Feel bad for everyone involved."
"Wonder how Sora managed to get the whole thing set off, and asking the operators of the stadium to do that whole thing." Who knows - maybe Sora sweet-talked the operators into following his demands with his boyish charm. Although Sora was in his teens, his boyish charm remained with him to this day.
"It was mostly Mario's doing, he was involved in Sora's plan for reasons unknown. Instead of helping Peach find her wedding ring, like he should have done, he wanted to help out Sora..." And speak of the devil, Sora showed up in the gardens, and guess who he was holding in his hands? Cloud Jr., Cloud's adoring pet Chocobo.
"Wow Cloud, you have such a cool pet bird!" exclaimed Sora, petting Cloud Jr., as Cloud glared at the Keyblade wielder. Did Sora even ask Cloud permission to touch his pet Chocobo? The Keyblade wielder had just crossed the line this time. "Though I never seen this kind of bird creature before - what is it called?"
"Please tell me you didn't touch Cloud Jr. without me or Link's permission," Cloud said to Sora, who was stroking Cloud Jr.'s yellow feathers, including his "hair" at the top of his head. Sora might have also taken Link's Master Sword out of the room, and probably misplaced it somewhere for someone irresponsible to use it.
"I originally wasn't going to, but I asked Roy about it, and he said go ahead." Great, now Cloud had to owe Roy a beating. But he might go easy on him. "Found this little fella sitting on top of your bed. I would recommend putting him inside a cage, just in case, but that's just a suggestion, you don't need to do it..."
Cloud was about to speak, until a certain Chao flew down from the sky, descending down to where Link, Cloud, and Sora where. This Chao had a yellow propeller swinging from the top of its head, not to mention that it had a robotic body as well...which meant that this Chao was an Omochao!
"Do any of you know where I can find the Keyblade wielder known as Sora?" the Omochao asked, prompting Sora to raise his hand so he could be recognized. "Greetings, Sora - my name is Omochao, and I am here to serve as your guide! Nice to meet you!"
Samus: The "secret project", you ask? It's an Omochao. That's why I said it's not really an invention, since it has already existed before...the one I built is just a new and improved version. Master Hand doesn't like Omochaos because they constantly lecture you and stuff, and you know how much Master Hand hates when Isabelle has to lecture him and tell him right from wrong. Surprisingly he hasn't destroyed Isabelle yet, but he once said he's refraining from doing so because of Isabelle's "desirable cuteness". *shrugs*
"Uh...nice to meet you too, I guess?" replied Sora, bewildered as he was left scratching his head. To Sora, Omochao looked like a blue Moogle, but blue, robotic, without a nose, and with a propeller on its head. Oh, and with its eyes open, too.
"Are you ready to begin the best day of your life, Master Sora?" asked Omochao. Master Sora? The brunette could possibly get used to this kind of treatment.
"I suppose so, you seem like a very interesting guy to hang around with." Sora was still in a state of bewilderment, as Cloud ran over to the Keyblade wielder to retrieve Cloud Jr. without Sora knowing. Cloud quickly grabbed Link's arm as he rushed out of the gardens. Aerith and Alph spotted Cloud and Link making a run for it, with Cloud having to drag his friend along.
"Cloud, Link, where are you going, I thought you both said you would remain in the gardens until we were finished!" Alph called out to the swordsmen, watering a few plants and flowers. Most of the plants and flowers were actually Pikmin, mind you.
"Link and I remembered we had some important stuff to take care off, we'll be back shortly," responded Cloud as he and Link exited the gardens. Translation: Cloud and Link had nothing important to do, and Cloud just wanted to get as far away from Sora as possible.
Link and Cloud returned to the interior of the mansion, with Cloud looking back to make sure Sora hadn't followed him. The Keyblade wielder was still speaking with Omochao...just as the swordsman figured.
"Okay Cloud, you've been acting mighty suspicious - why did you take off like that after that Omochao showed up?" Link questioned his best friend, with his arms folded. "Did you know about Omochao beforehand, is this part of your master plan to keep Sora in check?"
"Did Samus tell you about or something?" retorted Cloud, inadvertently leading Link to know that his best friend really was up to no good. Way to expose yourself, Cloud Strife, could have just kept Link guessing... "Okay, so I may have something to do with Omochao, but look on the bright side - Sora gains a new best buddy, and Omochao will keep Sora occupied, and Sora will leave me alone forever. Everyone wins."
"Something bad is gonna happen from this Cloud...don't know what, but I can see something go down along the road. That Omochao might go rogue and abuse Sora, or even kill the poor guy!" Link was saying this like Cloud actually cared about Sora's fate. "And you had Samus build that Omochao, didn't you? Don't hide it from me Cloud, I know you can be secretive at times, but tell me the truth!"
"Well aren't you the noisy one..." remarked Cloud, as he was petting Cloud Jr. The pet Chocobo was safe and sound from Sora - who knows what the Keyblade wielder could have done to poor Cloud Jr. He could have painted the bird white, put him in a blue mage suit, and call him Donald Duck!
Layton: I have taken upon Luke's suggestion last week - the suggestion of disguising ourselves and infiltrating the Four Seasons hotel to search for clues concerning that explosion. In order for our mission to be a success, we would need convincing enough outfits, and so I've decided to seek some advice from a so-called "master of disguise"...well, that's what Mario told me. This so-called "master of disguise" actually used to be a drag queen, and from what I've heard, they pulled off the look very well! Their experience would be of great use for Luke and I.
"Cloud Strife, may we speak with you for a quick minute?" Professor Layton approached the swordsman, with his apprentice Luke at his side. "We were planning on going to the Four Seasons hotel to look for clues, and since the hotel owner won't let anyone from the mansion step foot in his hotel ever again...I was thinking that maybe you could give us some advice in...pulling off a good look. We're going to infiltrate the mansion posing as health inspectors, and..."
"Sorry man, but I don't think I can give you any great pointers on..." Cloud started off, before grimacing when he realized what Layton was talking about. Some bad memories were forming inside his head...memories of blonde pigtails and a pink dress. "No, no, NO - if it has anything to do with drag, I'm not gonna be a part of it. Told Aerith and Tifa I would never dress up in drag again."
"We don't need you to dress up in drag again, Mr. Strife - we just need some tips on how to wear a convincing enough disguise," clarified Luke, as Cloud let out a sigh of relief. No way the swordsman was going to wear Peach's pink dress. "But we might need some backup, so you and Link could possibly tag along." As long as Cloud didn't have to wear any dresses, he was fine with the idea.
"Just so we're clear - if Link and I do come with you to the hotel, I won't have to dress up in drag, is that correct?" Layton and Luke glanced at one another, before shaking their heads yes at Cloud. Not exactly a confident show of confirmation, but it'll do for Cloud. "Okay then. Follow me, I know a great place for costumes. Wario has all kinds of disguises and crap in his closet, hopefully his disguises will fit on us." Cloud would lead Layton and Luke to Wario's room, and Link was about to follow Cloud as well...
...before an orange hand grabbed the Hylian and pulled him back. The hand belonged to none other than Midna, the imp likely having eavesdropped on the conversation with Cloud and the detectives. And she appeared to have something in mind for Link...
"So you, Cloud, and those detective dorks are going to 'infiltrate' that lousy hotel and look for clues, eh?" grinned Midna, making Link feel uneasy. He knew the imp was planning on doing something ultimately humiliating for him. "I was thinking, why don't the others guise themselves as health inspectors...while you go to the hotel with an entirely different disguise?"
"Will this disguise be detrimental to my dignity?" asked Link; judging by the devious smile on Midna's face, the answer to Link's question was a definite yes.
Fox and Falco were left with a daunting tasks ahead of themselves - ever since the Star Records bank statement was found lying on the living room floor, and it was revealed that someone from Star Records purchased the propane responsible for the hotel attack, the Star Fox pilots were faced with the possibility of potentially losing one of their employees, whether it be Knuckles, Little Mac, Asuka, Itsuki, Touma, Ayaha, or one of their idol singers. Fox and Falco were looking for possible replacements, in the event someone from Star Records was fired and banned from the mansion for their involvement in the hotel attack.
Falco: You know who we should have signed to Star Records? Sonia Strumm. Girl had a rockin' concert at the mansion in November, and it generated a heck ton of money! Should have signed her after her concert was over!
Fox: We did try to sign Sonia, but our "dark chocolate" ploy with Doc Louis, which we both agreed to never speak of again, scared poor Sonia away. But we could have...
Falco: You know who else we should have signed? Splash Woman. Marth said that she nailed that "Lost In Thoughts All Alone" song, and her rendition was powerful enough to make Corrin fall in love with Felicia! If you can successfully make Corrin of all people fall in love with ANYONE with just your singing voice, you're already a great singer in my book, or anyone's book!
Fox: Dr. Light would never let us sign Splash Woman, he seems content on having her at his laboratory. Besides, how would she be able to...
Falco: You know who else we should have signed? That Joanna chick, who showed up in the week leading up to the Super Bowl! People who heard her sing talked up a storm about how crazy talented she was - heck, even Viridi liked her! Name me one human Viridi genuinely likes, just one!
Fox: Of course Joanna is crazy talented, that's because she's actually...
To prepare themselves for the inevitable, Fox and Falco were holding auditions in the recording studio. First to audition was K.K. Slider, a guitar-playing hippie dog the pilots probably should have signed during the early beginnings of Star Records.
"Carry on my wayward son...there'll be peace when you are done..." sang K.K., strumming away on his guitar as he was singing a 70s classic from the rock band Kansas. "Lay your weary head to rest...don't you cry no more...how was that?"
"Great, now keep on playing, don't stop until we tell you to!" replied Fox, and so K.K. went on a crazy guitar solo, showing off his masterful guitar playing skills. As K.K. Slider continued his audition, Little Mac entered the recording studio, approaching Fox and Falco. The boxer was fiddling with his fingers...if he even was able to fiddle with his fingers, that is, if not for the fact that he was wearing his trusty boxing gloves. Guy had his boxing gloves on 24/7 - it was always a miracle that he could fix a ham sandwich by himself without screwing up once.
"Fox, Falco, may I speak with you for a quick second?" Little Mac asked the pilots, albeit with some timidness, as Fox and Falco turned around and saw the boxer behind them. "It's about the propane, that thing listed on the bank statement...I just wanted to let you two know that I had NOTHING to do with purchasing those propane tanks. I would never wish to attack Mario and Peach, or anyone for that matter, and I wanted to clear things up before I..."
"Nah man, you're good, Falco and I know that you had nothing to do with the hotel attack," assured Fox, leaving Little Mac to let out a sigh of relief. Just like that, the timidness that was building up inside the boxer had all but went away.
"Yeah, and we kinda knew you weren't intelligent enough to pull off a hotel attack anyways, learned that through process of elimination," added Falco, leading Fox to nudge his avian friend. To be fair, Falco did have a somewhat valid point...
"Thanks you guys, knew you would have my back. Truthfully I don't think anyone from Star Records purchased the propane - the perpetrator behind the attack might've bought the propane under Star Records's name so they could spread some blame around. But that's what I think. Catch you guys later." Little Mac left the recording studio, feeling confident about himself...
...and then in came Kiria, who was feeling and acting more flirty than usual. It was all thanks to a love potion Samus had given her - the love potion was actually in a soda cup, offered to Samus by Sonic, and Samus, not trusting Sonic one bit, gave the "soda" to Kiria, who drank it and fell in love with Snake at first sight. Ever since then, Kiria has been thinking nonstop about the former spy, vowing to start a relationship with him and one day...wait for it...get married to him. Yuck doesn't even begin to describe Kiria's romantic feelings towards Snake.
"Hey boys...have you seen Snake anywhere?" Kiria would ask Fox and Falco, grabbing their attention by striking a somewhat seductive pose, a type of Bayonetta would do. She not only got the attention of Fox and Falco...but she also got the attention of K.K. Slider, who stopped his performance and stared at Kiria, wondering what changed within the idol singer.
"We haven't really seen Snake since breakfast..." replied Falco, as he found himself staring at Kiria's pose. "Please tell me you aren't in love with that man still." Kiria's newfound romantic obsession with Snake was proving to be a problem for Fox and Falco, in case you didn't notice.
Kiria: Is it just me, or is Snake the most handsome man in the universe? What's not to like about him? His luscious blue eyes, his chiseled jawline, his excellent mustache...and those are just the facial features! Every man should aspire to be like Snake, Snake a a model for what every man should be! *sighs lovingly* He's a man I truly love...
"What do you see in Snake anyways?" Fox questioned Kiria, as K.K. Slider resumed his audition although Fox and Falco weren't paying attention to him. "He's old, he's dingy, and he smells like burnt urine. Bet you the guy probably wets himself on occasion, both accidentally and purposefully. Wouldn't be surprised if he lost control of his bladder and has to wear a diaper..."
"How dare you say such hurtful things about my man!" gasped Kiria, although the things Fox said were true...though the claim about Snake smelling like urine may not necessarily be that true. "Don't you know anything about showing respect? Hmph!" Filled with disgust, Kiria exited the recording studio, before turning around to tell Fox and Falco one more thing. "I've asked Cilan to prepare a dinner date for Snake and I in the dining room, and Snake's interactions during the date will determine if he's truly the guy for me. But we all know Snake and I were meant for each other..." Kiria smiled as she exited the recording studio, leading Fox and Falco to exchange nervous looks with one another. This one-sided Kiria-Snake fling couldn't possibly end well for both persons involved...
"Upon further inspection, I can almost guarantee you...that cockroach is definitely faking," Akuma told Roy, as the kung fu fighter and the swordsman were inspecting a cockroach lying on its back in the middle of the hallway. Roy was the first to see the roach, and was unsure if it was dead, and so he asked Akuma to come over and confirm that the insect was truly dead.
"It can't be just because it's lying on its back, there has to be another way," said Roy, furrowing his brow as he stroked his chin. The "another way" he had in mind was a method the swordsman did not wish to do. "I think I should touch it, see if it moves!"
"Well, kid, I tried to tell you the truth, but if you want to touch that roach...then go ahead and be my guest." So Roy nervously approached the cockroach, kneeling down on the floor and extending his index finger as he simply gave the roach a small poke.
Suddenly, the cockroach jumped to life, its legs quivering about and its body flailing. Roy screamed like a little schoolgirl as he jumped up in fright, leaping backwards into the arms of Akuma, who was there to catch him. A true Scooby-Doo and Shaggy moment right there. The moment would be extremely awkward for Akuma and Roy when Sonic approached them, with a weird look on his face. The hedgehog needed A LOT of context for what he just walked into.
"Not really the weirdest thing I've seen all day, so I'll give you two a pass," remarked Sonic - what could be weirder than Akuma holding a scared Roy in his arms? "Have you two seen Snake anywhere?"
"No we haven't, unless Snake ran away from the mansion so he could find Johnny Sasaki and kill the guy so he could be with Meryl again," assumed Roy, as Akuma placed the swordsman on the floor; after Snake's romantic shortcomings with Samus, Roy's assumption was strongly plausible. "Dude's been doing whatever he can to mend that broken heart of his."
"Yeah man what a loser, over the age of fourty and he has never tied the knot with anyone," said a gravelly voice, coming from a nearby flower pot. Sonic, Roy, and Akuma glanced at a large flower pot, which moved for a brief moment, and Akuma broke the flower pot with a swift kick, releasing some dirt...and Snake, who had squeezed himself inside the flower pot. By the looks of it, the former spy was hiding from someone...
Snake: Life for me has been a living heck ever since Sonic and Ashley screwed up the potion thing (though Sonic deserves more of the blame just because he's Sonic). Thanks to those two, Kiria has been obsessing me, and following me, and pretty much stalking me like any obsessive girlfriend would, and she isn't supposed to be my girlfriend! She's like an Amy Rose to me, essentially. A rose by any other name would smell as sweet...and I'm not digging the Kiria Rose phase one bit. Kiria should keep the obsessive girlfriend shtick to Amy - Amy was a master at that stuff.
"Tell me you aren't bitter about not winning over Samus to the point that you had to hide in a flower pot," Sonic said to Snake, who got up to his feet and dusted the dirt off of him. "I would've let you lie in my bed and sulk, Tails and I would have provided you with top-notch hospitality. Tails would be your maid, and I would be..."
"I'm not bitter about Samus...got over it in like three days," stated Snake - hard to believe that. "I'm hiding from Kiria - girl's been obsessing over me nonstop, and I can't get her away from me! So I hid in the flower pot, so that way Kiria would never bother me."
"Hiding from Kiria, eh? Well that's too bad, because she told me, to tell you...that she wants to have a dinner date with you later tonight, prepared by Cilan." Snake frowned and facepalmed once he received this information from Sonic - why didn't Sonic talk Kiria out of the date? Was the idol singer too much for the blue blur to handle?
"There's no word in the English vocabulary to describe how much I hate you right now Sonic..." No turning back for Snake now - he had to suck up his pride and go forth with this date, and at least fake his enjoyment. "But if I have to do this date, then I'm not gonna do it alone..."
"Figured you would say that...which is why I developed a plan that will make Kiria stop obsessing over you. It shall go into effect during this dinner date." Snake hoped that Sonic's so-called plan would work...
Mario, Peach, Pit, and Kirby traveled with the Inklings to Inkopolis via the teleportation device, with the operators of the device, Mega Man and MegaMan .EXE, also coming along for the ride. As it was expected, Inkopolis was bustling with Inklings, with Inkling boys and girls at every corner of the city. Yet there was no sign of any adult Inklings. Why was that so?
"Don't think for a second that bringing Mario and the others along would cheer me up," the male Inkling said to his female counterpart, as the group traversed through the Inkopolis main square. A nearby conversation about Callie's whereabouts between two Inklings was making the male Inkling sick to his stomach.
"Mario, Peach, Pit, and Kirby came along because of Master Hand," explained Mega Man, who had brought his canine companion Rush to snap some pictures of Inkopolis. Mega Man wished to show said pictures to the others. ".EXE and I came along because we operate the teleportation device, and only we can warp you guys back to the mansion."
"Oh yeah, then how come you brought your pet dog along, does he operate the teleportation device too? Or is he just taking pictures of Inkopolis? There's no pictures worth taking here...I mean, what's the point where Callie's not even in town?"
"For all we know, Callie could be somewhere in Inkopolis..." shrugged .EXE, as the group arrived at the Inkopolis Plaza. "...she might be going incognito, not wanting her identity to be revealed. Glad you aren't one of those folks who assume Callie died or something."
MegaMan .EXE: Inkopolis is a far better city than I ever would've imagined. Feels like I'm walking in Tokyo...but with hordes of kids with vampire teeth, and some Eiffel...Tower thing in the middle of the city...You say that tower is based off of the Tokyo Tower? So this city really is Tokyo...
Mario and company kept walking through the Inkopolis Square, until they found a mob of Inklings gathered around near some stage, where some music was playing. Wanting to see what all the hullabaloo was about, the group headed over to the stage, moving through all the Inklings before arriving at the front, where they saw two notable faces on the stage...Pearl and Marina. The two new hosts were throwing a small concert of sorts, likely to hype up the next Splatfest.
"Who here is ready for the next Splatfest?" Pearl asked the crowd, speaking into the microphone, and the crowd erupted into a roar of cheers and whatnot. "We hoped you enjoy the previous Splatfest, cake vs ice cream, and now we're getting ready for the next Splatfest to start!"
"The next Splatfest will be starting very soon, so if you plan to participate, then you better get ready!" added Marina, Pearl's partner-in-crime. Despite Pearl and Marina both being fan favorites already, Marina was already the more universally liked Octoling, and Pit seemed to have an answer as to why that was so.
"Look Kirby, a black Inkling onstage, and she looks just like Beyonce..." Pit whispered to Kirby as he pointed at Marina, not knowing that Marina was actually an Octoling. He might be right about Marina resembling Beyonce, though.
"Pit I'm pretty sure Marina is an Octoling, and not an Inkling..." corrected Kirby, as Pearl and Marina were now hyping up the crowd. Pearl, the expressive one, was letting the crowd feel it. Marina, the more reserved and timid one, just decided to play it safe, though she still was showing her excitement.
"So Inklings are white, and Octolings are black...good to know," Pit nodded his head, before noticing that Mario was sneaking unto the stage. The angel was the first to notice the plumber somehow getting by security and gaining access to the stage. Probably got past because of his video game status. "Is that Mario onstage?"
"Yeah that is Mario, what does he think he's doing?!" fretted the female Inkling, as Mario grabbed a microphone from someone after asking permission. The music would quietly die down when Mario approached Pearl and Marina from behind, nearly spooking the Octoling duo. Everyone was now confused - confused as to why a famous, portly plumber like Mario was onstage with the hottest pop group in Inkopolis right now.
"Um...may we help you?" Marina kindly asked Mario, who was just smiling away. "In case you didn't notice, we were busy hyping up the next Splatfest...and then you came along." Marina checked out Mario, taking notice how portly the plumber's body was. Looked like he had a lot more flab than what appeared to be.
"Allow-a me to say something to the crowd..." said Mario, before clearing his throat and turning his attention towards the Inklings in attendance. "Hello, all of-a Inkopolis! It's-a me, the one and-a only Mario, and this is-a my first time in Inkopolis! How is everyone-a doing today?"
The only response Mario received from the crowd was in the form of a tomato, as someone from the crowd threw the red fruit at Mario's face. And yes, tomatoes are indeed fruit. The more you know...
"What business does some famous plumber like yourself have at Inkopolis anyways?" Pearl questioned the plumber, with her hands on her hips. "You're cutting into our time, so why don't get your mustached self off the stage so Marina and I can enjoy our prime!" Pearl pointed to the left, wanting Mario to go away, eliciting an "Oooooh..." from the crowd with her rhyme. But Mario didn't listen - he remained on the stage, refusing to leave until he got what he wanted.
"I understand that you-a two are the new-a hosts of Splat-a Fest, but I have an offer that you can't-a refuse...a free expense at the Smash-a Mansion, in Seattle, Washington - home to the greatest music-a label in the universe, Star Records!" exclaimed Mario, as there was murmurings among the crowd. Would Pearl and Marina take up the offer? "Come-a to the Smash Mansion, and you-a will reach heights never before-a seen as a musical group! How does-a that sound?" Pearl mused over the offer, before something brilliant spurred inside her head.
"We'll accept your offer and go to the Smash Mansion in Seattle...but if you want us to accept your offer, then you'll just have to beat me...in a rap battle!" This elicited another "Oooooh..." from the crowd; Mario, going against someone in a rap battle?! That would be a sight for the ages!
"You got your-a self a deal!" Mario confidently shook hands with Pearl, although Peach and the others weren't feeling so confident about Mario's chances.
Peach: Oh, Mario, why must you make foolish choices...
Female Inkling: Mario is essentially putting his pride and dignity on the line to win over Pearl and Marina, and there's a strong likelihood he'll flat-out embarrass himself in front of everyone...nice.
Male Inkling: You know what would be even nicer? Callie making a surprise appearance during the rap battle... *sighs* ...a kid can always dream.
Mega Man: Rest in peace Mario, you will sorely be missed...
Things at the Four Seasons hotel were seemingly returning to normal four weeks after the explosion occurred. Granted, there was some evidence of the explosion left on parts of the building, but for the most part, everything going on at the hotel has been mostly mundane, to the point where the hotel explosion almost seemed like an afterthought.
In the lobby of the hotel was Layton, Luke, and Cloud, all wearing different attire so they could have access to the hotel. Layton and Luke weren't wearing their hats, and Cloud's hair was combed back so he couldn't be recognized. The hotel owner would arrive at the lobby via elevator, and saw Cloud and company standing by.
"These men are the health inspectors I told you about on the phone," the lady sitting at the front desk alerted the owner, who walked up to greet the "health inspectors" in his suit. It was a well-polished suit, too. "Came her to inspect the quality of our food."
"Welcome to the hotel boys - you're perhaps the first folks to arrive at the hotel ever since that nasty explosion transpired," the hotel owner greeted Layton and company, shaking their hands. After the owner introduced himself, it was time for the "inspectors" to introduce themselves. How will they fare?
"My name is Huckleberry Freeman, and these are my partners-in-crime...Walter Malone and Lucious Shuttlesworth," Layton introduced himself and his entourage, most definitely coming up with the names on the fly. Luke was Walter, and Cloud was Lucious.
"Nice to meet you Huckleberry, Walter...and Lucious." The hotel owner found Cloud's fake name funny, he had to literally bite his bottom lip to stifle himself from laughing hysterically. "Let me get someone to show you where the kitchen is. You can inspect the food there."
The owner quickly notified a hotel official, and told said official to take Layton and company to the kitchen, where the food was made. Once the official took the "inspectors" to the kitchen, the hotel owner was about to continue on his way...before he was stopped in his tracks by a fat, portly, mustached man in a purple superhero costume, with onions and a blue "W" on his suit.
"Wario-Man is here to investigate the hotel explosion!" Wario-Man proclaimed, pointing his finger up at the heavens as the hotel owner looked on unamused, with his arms folded. Didn't require any rocket science to know Wario-Man's true identity. "I shall find the culprit behind the explosion, and they shall pay for their..."
"Nice try Wario, I know it's you in that superhero costume," the hotel owner said; easy for him to spot Wario, his giant mustache gave away his identity. And so did the name "Wario-Man". "No resident from the Smash Mansion is allowed to step foot in my hotel ever again."
"How do you know I still live at the Smash Mansion, what if I moved out on my own and got my own place? One lousy explosion, and nobody from the mansion is allowed in your hotel again? Not like everyone from there can..."
"Like I just told you, no resident from the Smash Mansion is allowed to step foot in my hotel ever again. So how about you just show yourself out, before I have to get security to do the work for you?"
"Escorting a superhero out of a fine establishment is downright insane! Have you no respect for Wario-Man? Have you no respect for superheroes like myself? People like yourself make me sick..."
Wario-Man was unable to finish his little rant, as the hotel owner called in security and had the security guards throw Wario-Man out of the Four Seasons hotel. Literally. So much for respect.
Hotel Owner: The mansion folks are the reason why weird crap has been going down in Seattle. That flying blue dragon, the huge invasion...and I bet you they had something to do with that giant Galleon ship flying in the city's skyline. I'm just teaching Mario and company a lesson, that's all, and maybe one day, things in Seattle will be forever normal again...one can only hope.
"The disrespect is out of this world, those losers don't know who they messed with..." growled Wario-Man, getting up from the ground and dusting himself off. The superhero went on his own way, heading back to the mansion...before he encountered some sorry sap in a clown costume, who looked like he was totally done with life. Wario-Man was about to question who this clown person was, until Midna appeared from behind the clown...disgraced clown person being Link confirmed.
"You want access inside that hotel, right?" Midna asked Wario-Man, who gleefully nodded his head...the glee would dissipate when Link pulled out a clown costume. "Well then you have to do things MY way!"
Sonic and Snake were standing in front of the Pokemon sanctuary, as Sonic required two certain Pokemon for his plan to make Kiria stop loving Snake. Mewtwo walked out of the Pokemon sanctuary, and groaned when he saw Sonic's face.
"Uh, it's you, Sonic..." sighed the psychic Pokemon, too disgusted to even acknowledge Snake's presence. "What do you possibly want?"
"One Pikachu and one Pichu please!" Sonic kindly said; Mewtwo returned to the sanctuary to retrieve the two Pokemon Sonic asked for. "In order for Kiria to stop obsessing over you, we'll just have to give her...a little shock, if ya know what I mean."
"You're not going to use Pikachu and Pichu to electrocute Kiria, are you?" Snake questioned Sonic - despite getting old, the former spy still had his morals. "That would be absolutely insane, Kiria would hate you forever for doing that!"
"I see nothing wrong with it, it will snap Kiria out of her romantic trance and make her normal again. Call it shock therapy, if you will."
"Sonic I know how shock therapy works - I worked for the government, so I should know. Shock therapy is mostly used to relieve someone from mental illnesses!"
"Love is a mental illness, is it not? The love Kiria has for you is extremely ill...in a bad way, and we're here to cure her illness before her body succumbs to it!"
"Here is Pikachu and Pichu, now go away and leave me alone," Mewtwo returned from the sanctuary, handing Pikachu and Pichu over to Sonic. "A Slaking in the sanctuary somehow found a television in his pen, and we're all binge watching Bojack Horseman. Needless to say, I'm actually hooked..." What's more unbelievable - the fact that the television Slaking discovered already had Netflix, or the fact that Mewtwo was now a Bojack Horseman fan?
After receiving Pikachu and Pichu from Mewtwo, Sonic and Snake went on their own way, so Sonic could start devising his plan. All of a sudden, Snake was no longer on board with what Sonic had in mind...
Samus: No doubt Sora is gonna have a lot of "fun" with Omochao...I've built Omochao so that it would not only cater to Cloud's needs, but Sora's needs as well. Cloud is gonna be thanking me later, I can already tell, and sooner or later he'll be kissing up to my behind and start acting more affable and friendly and... *cringes* ...can you imagine Cloud being genuinely happy? I still have bad memories from that one time he got hit by that boomerang...
"You sure this is such a great idea, Omochao?" Sora asked as he was changing his clothes in his room. Judging by the tone of the Keyblade wielder's voice, Omochao was telling Sora to change into something unflattering.
"Trust me on this Sora - you'll become even more popular than you ever were before!" guaranteed Omochao, his exuberating robotic joy able to be heard from afar. "High risk equals high reward, am I right? And everyone loves rewards! Now take off that jacket so you can show the world what you're made of!"
So Sora did as he was told, unzipping his jacket and taking it off, before nervously exiting his room, Omochao following behind him as he gently closed the door. Sora then continued down the hallway, albeit nervously, as he was now receiving looks from many residents walking by. One particular resident was Pac-Man, who had to do a double-take when he saw the Keyblade wielder.
"Um, Sora...is everything alright?" Pac-Man asked the brunette with a faint smile, unsure what to make of Sora's new attire. But to tell you the truth...Sora wasn't even wearing anything at all! The Keyblade wielder was only wearing his boxers, so he was essentially pulling a Shulk.
"Everything is all good Pac-Man, just feeling very..expressive today," replied Sora, trying to play it cool by folding his arms behind his head. "I mean, who needs clothes anyways? Sonic doesn't wear 'em, Donkey Kong doesn't wear 'em - heck, you're not wearing clothes yourself!"
"I guess you're right...me and my stupid small body. Only time I ever go to a clothing store is when Peach drags me along whenever Mario isn't available. Going shopping with Peach is always a horrible experience...even more so when Peach forgets to bring her debit card. Makes waiting in line more tedious than it should. Well, I'll be going now, hope you enjoy your...expressiveness, Sora."
Sora nodded as he and Pac-Man went their own separate ways, with Omochao still following Sora. The Keyblade wielder would continue walking down the hallway, feigning confidence, as he walked past by Zelda and Lucina. The two princesses were enjoying a conversation until Sora walked by, disturbed by his lack of clothes.
"Sora where on earth are your clothes?!" Zelda scolded the Keyblade wielder, as she and Lucina looked on with much distaste. "Have you got any sense at all?!"
"Didn't you guys hear, today is National Wear No Clothes At All Day!" exclaimed Sora. So he just went from using "expressionism" as an excuse, to coming up with a made-up holiday on the fly. Will be interesting to see what the Keyblade wielder will come up with next time he gets interrogated.
"Pretty sure such a day of observance doesn't exist, and even if it did, the government would do everything in their power to outlaw it," said Lucina. Hey there are other days of observance that are strange in nature...like Thread the Needle day, for instance.
"They do have 'Go Topless Day' on August 26...so we very well could be on our way to a day where we don't wear clothes at all," stated Zelda, and with that logic, she could very well be right... "Just hope undergarments wouldn't be classified as clothes..."
Zelda: I could never do "Go Topless Day" - a princess of high class like myself would never stoop low to the point where I would have my breasts exposed in the name of gender equality. Hylia would be so disappointed in me!
Lucina: King K. Rool kinda has man boobs, and he goes topless a hundred percent of the time. Perhaps he should go and celebrate "Go Topless Day", he can celebrate with women and harass them all day long, like he does with us!
"I strongly recommend that you do what I'm doing, it actually feels refreshing," Sora told Zelda and Lucina, as he continued on his merry way. "Much better than wearing formal attire all the time like you ladies tend to do a lot!" Zelda and Lucina exchanged looks of concern as Sora walked away, with Omochao following after the Keyblade wielder and not saying a single word.
Once Sora went down the stairs, he went to the gaming so he could show off his body to the others (his body wasn't all that impressive, not like he had a six-pack or anything; could explain why Zelda and Lucina were disgusted), but on his way there, he was stopped by Jakob. Like the others, the butler was appalled by Sora wearing nothing but his boxers, and was ready to question the Keyblade wielder's decision-making...but he would soon find the answer, when he looked up and saw Omochao, flying over Sora.
"Any chance you can explain why you're only in your boxers, and why there's a flying robot over your head?" questioned Jakob, not sure which one he should question more. Though Omochao, which Jakob had never seen before, begs to question.
"The flying robot you speak of is Omochao, he's the one who told me to take my clothes off and go without clothes for the reminder of the day," explained Sora, his explanation not doing much to quell Jakob's overall concerns. "He was also the one who advised me to put some oregano in Lady Palutena's chili. Basically Omochao has been telling me what to do all day long, and I feel like I should listen to what he says. Pretty smart robot."
"No wonder that chili tasted too spicy...when I told Palutena about the spiciness, she didn't believe me. She'll eventually see for herself. Now tell me Sora - are you going to do everyone a favor and put some clothes on soon. You can't possibly listen to everything that robot says..."
"But Omochao is a pretty knowledge robot, judging from the short conversation I had with him when we first met. If you want to hate on Omochao, then that's fine, go ahead. But don't go and rain on my parade." And with that, Sora and Omochao went away, as Jakob looked on, distraught. But that face of distraught would turn into a face of conniving intentions, as Jakob smiled devilishly as he rubbed his hands together.
"Sora may be acting like a fool because of that Omochao, but if I can somehow punish him for his ways, then Master Hand can see my...display of power, and then that butler job will be all mine..." Dude was definitely up to no good.
The health inspector trio of Huckleberry Freeman, Walter Malone, and Lucious Shuttlesworth - Layton, Luke, and Cloud, respectively - had told the hotel official they had to use the restroom, and so the official allowed the three to leave the hotel kitchen. Yet the official did not dare to question why three men coincidentally had to use the restroom at the same time. Layton, Luke, and Cloud sneaked their way to the ballroom, where the explosion occurred, and were looking for clues in the ballroom that still had signs of the explosion.
"Looks like they haven't really touched the ballroom at all ever since that explosion occurred - which means that we would have a greater chance at finding clues," remarked Layton, noticing that the tables were all set up - probably the only thing the hotel staff cared about fixing in the ballroom.
Hotel Official: *smiling* Not gonna lie, the Lucious Shuttlesworth guy looked kinda cute... *sighs* ...if only he had a less embarrassing name.
Layton, Luke, and Cloud checked everywhere in the ballroom for clues - checked underneath the tables, the chairs, and even looked near the windows. However, there would be something that would stop them searching for clues...two clown fellows, entering the ballroom, one short and pudgy, the other tall and lanky. These two clown dudes, you might ask? Wario and Link, accompanied by Midna.
"Dang Link, I knew you rocked that Joker getup for Halloween, but you look downright goofy as a clown," remarked Cloud, not making Link feel any better than he did right now. "Don't know if it's the hat, or the wig, or the red nose..."
"My Joker phase died for this, apparently," sighed Link, looking down at the floor. Midna sure loves to punish the guy, doesn't she? "Midna apparently wanted me to wear this dumb clown costume, just because she hates me and wishes to torture me as much as possible."
"Who cares about that, the mighty Wario is in the building...which means that I can now assume my alter-ego!" proclaimed Wario, ripping off his clown costume and revealing Wario-Man getup. Impressive that he was wearing that superhero costume the whole time, considering he was wearing whiteface. "Where is the culprit responsible for the explosion and hurting Peach, the girl I wished to marry before Mario beat me to the punch?! Let me at 'em, let me at 'em!"
"You traitor, I thought we had a deal, you'd stay in your costume until the end!" frowned Midna, as Wario-Man was adjusting his cape. "And the culprit isn't even here, they might be hiding for all we know!"
"Might be right, the culprit may be hiding...hiding behind that door over there!" Wario-Man pointed at a random door at a far corner of the ballroom, and majestically ran towards it like any superhero would, knocking the door down not with his sheer strength...but with his fatness and weight. While Wario-Man recuperated from his injuries on the floor, Luke took a peek through what was behind the door, and found a clue...a device lying on the floor.
"I wonder, what on earth could this be?" questioned the young detective, picking up the device and showing it to the others, nearly stepping on Wario-Man along the way. "Found this device in that small room, looks like a communication device!"
What's more is that the device had the words "Holo Caster" on it...does that ring a bell to any Pokemon fans out there?
The Inklings at Inkopolis were now getting pumped up for a rap battle - Mario vs Pearl. Stakes were on the line - if Mario beat Pearl in the rap battle (which was highly unlikely), then Pearl and Marina would have to join the Smash Mansion, and be signed to Star Records. Given Pearl's competitor, Off the Hook could very well stay in Inkopolis, and never sign with Star Records.
Pit: Mario wasn't feeling confident about his chances of winning against Pearl, so Kirby and I had to be his "ghostwriters" and write him some lines. Mario may lose regardless, but we'll just have to see, right? *shrugs*
"We are now ready to start the first ever Inkopolis Rap Battle!" Maria announced a massive crowd of Inklings, on a large stage where Off the Hook would typically perform. On this stage was Mario and Pearl, both wearing gold chains fitting for the occasion, and Judd, serving as the judge. "In this corner, hailing from the Mushroom Kingdom, we have Mario!" Mario greeted the crowd, smiling as he waved his hand, receiving only cheers from the mansion residents in attendance. "And in this corner, we have one-half of Off the Hook, our very own...Pearl!" Pearl received an uproar of cheers from well near every Inkling in attendance, as Pearl gave a peace sign to the crowd. "Judd will serve as our judge, he will decide who wins."
"Mario is about to fail miserably, I can already tell..." Mega Man whispered to .EXE, who nodded his head in agreement. "You wanna go look around at Inkopolis while Mario's busy taking his L with dignity?"
"Don't think Mario will have any dignity once the rap battle is over with," replied .EXE, as he followed Mega Man and Rush away from the crowd. "Let's go see if the shops here have anything worth buying." As the robots left, a certain Inkling carrying a parosol saw them walk away...and quickly followed after them.
"Our homegirl Pearl will go first, so when you're ready Pearl, just do your thing!" said Marina, and Pearl got her microphone ready as the crowd cheered her on. Once the music started, Pearl faced Mario with her game face on, ready to drop some bars.
I'll be spittin' my bars, they'll be like a slap upside your head,
I'll be goin' off, and I'll leave you dead,
And while you'll be hating,
Your raps will be just imitating,
Me, I'm the real, the original,
I be bringin' the pain and all,
And there's nothing this little playa can do who thinks he's bigga
Than a certain gorilla but his rhymes don't even back up a figure of speech,
So just forfeit and take your owning with peace, in your sleep,
It sounds like you rap in your sleep anyway, counting sheep,
It's nonsense and intolerable crap,
I oughta slap the whack jack who tried to teach you to rap with a free app
"OOOOOOH!" the Inklings reacted; Mario, knowing what he was up against, nodded his head as he got into the groove. Once the crowd died down, and the music started playing again, it was now Mario's time to shine...
Girl you think instigating is the solution,
But to witness my rhymes you need a higher resolution
When I rap I rap faster than every trash rapper
That finishes last or gets in my way, I'm bigger than every
Playa pull the trigger to death of their raps you're wack,
Can't come back,
Steppin' all over on the sidewalk crack
Breakin' more than just your mama's back
I'll beat you in a stack
Cause I got the knack for whack
In slack wack rhymes from blacks
So don't even pretend to be on my level,
Call me mega, 'cause I rock the bass AND the treble
Word!
"OOOOOOH!" the Inklings reacted, as Mario left Pearl stunned. The mansion residents were even more stunned - who knew Mario had that much in him?!
Male Inkling: At first I thought Mario would be dead meat on the same stage as Pearl, but after his first verse...he might very well be an Inkopolis folk hero.
"Well then...that was very unexpected," chuckled Marina, while Pearl regained her composure. "Let's see if Pearl will bounce back!" The music played, and Pearl readied herself for another verbal manslaughter:
I've been creating raps, the sap, the gap,
Between us is like a trap, your rhymes are crap,
Never ever get your snap on,
You're coming on my hour, against my power,
When really you're as humble and weak as a flower,
You're sour, you need a trip to a shower,
At the end of my raps, all you'll do is cower,
How're you, gonna compete with me,
This is a breeze, do with ease, bring you all the way down to your knees,
And it's like I'm coming at you like a swarm of angry bees
So just quit, fore I spit quick rhymes with a bit more light
Than your about-to-quit crap that's not even chic,
I got all of it down, I'm always wearing the crown,
You frown, you should just leave town
"OOOOOOH!" the Inklings reacted once more, but Mario was undeterred, he wasn't going to let Pearl's verse bring him down. So the plumber got ready to fire back, and after the music started back up, he was ready to spit more fire:
I'm gonna wear your crown cause I'm gonna beat your sorry rapper self,
You make rhymes like you think you're one of Santa's elves,
They suck, they come from a factory you understand,
You can't handle the power of The Man,
I can't hear your raps without laughing,
But it's all the same cause I'll be blasting
Your raps out the sky, they're wounded birds,
You cringe at the awesomeness of my words
You can't take a playa so sweet at rappin all the time,
You only spit the crap words out your mouth that ain't worth a dime
I actually get hurt by your lame pathetic rap attempts
You'll go hide from me in the woods in your little tent
Now I got you frowning like one of Archie Manning's sons
Got this Octoling and her fan mob in some deep trouble...you all shook ones
"OOOOOOH!" the Inklings reacted yet again, as Mario dropped his mic and smugly grinned at Pearl's frowning face. Mario had this rap battle in the bag.
Mario: Last-a set of bars was improvised...but I gotta give-a credit where it's-a due. Kirby is far-a more competent than I give-a him credit for. Props goes-a to Pit, too, though I think Kirby did-a all the work...
"What an awesome comeback from Mario, he really brought his A game!" Marina said to a still raucous crowd, before noticing that Judd was waving his orange and blue flags around - orange for Pearl, and blue for Mario. "Uh oh folks, looks like Judd has already settled on a winner!"
Judd was moving his flags about, building up anticipation among the crowd, and he kept doing this until he held out one flag to the side...an orange flag, making the crowd gasp.
"Judd held up the orange flag, does this mean what I think it means?!" exclaimed Marina, with baited breath, as an appalled Mario looked on with his mouth agape.
"Mario performed a mic drop, which is against rap battling rules, meow," announced Judd, prompting Mario to throw his hat on the ground and stomp his foot in anger. "Therefore, your winner of the rap battle...Pearl!" The crowd cheered and chanted Pearl's name, as the Octoling happily waved and blew kisses and whatnot, while Mario remained enraged. Looks like Off the Hook is staying in Inkopolis!
"There's no rules-a in rap battles, this was rigged-a all along!" the plumber frowned, wanting to get retribution on Judd only to be held back by security and escorted off the stage. "I demand a rematch this instant! Where's my do-a over?!"
"Well there you have it folks, the winner of the first ever Inkopolis Rap Battle is our one and only, Pearl!" announced Marina, as the crowd continued to cheer on for the native Octoling. "Thank you everyone, for showing up, we really appreciate it. "Until next time...don't get cooked, stay off the hook!"
Snake and Sonic (who was holding Pikachu and Pichu) arrived at the darkened dining room, seeing Kiria seated at the table with a lit candle, waiting for her love. Snake heaved a heavy sigh - point in turning back now.
"Pichu pichu?" Pichu asked Sonic, as he pointed at Kiria. He had to make sure he wasn't seeing things.
"Yes, Pichu, Kiria is apparently in love with Snake, and she wanted to do this date," replied Sonic, who was impressed by how Cilan set things up for the date. "Some 'shock therapy' will bring back the normal Kiria, and Snake can put this whole episode behind him. You ready, Snake?"
"Let's just get this over with..." replied Snake, as he walked towards the table and took his seat. Kiria was delighted to see her man seated next to her, getting all giddy inside. "Hey Kiria, how ya doing?"
"I'm doing great now that you're here!" the idol singer exclaimed, as Sonic, Pikachu, and Pichu assumed their positions behind Kiria, where they wouldn't be seen. Snake saw them, but did not look at them as much, lest he would give away their cover. "Sorry I didn't wear any formal attire...not that I would dress formally anyway."
"Yeah, I didn't feel like dressing up either, not like we're going out to eat. I'm never in the mood for going out anyways." Cilan would enter the dining room holding a cloche, and placed the cloche on the table near Snake and Kiria.
"Smoked ham and appetizers for the lovebirds, from yours truly!" the connoisseur lifted up the silver covering, revealing the smoked ham and appetizers to Snake and Kiria. Suddenly, Snake was glad he came to the date, at first glance of the smoked ham. "Hope you enjoy, bon appetit!"
"Thanks for the smoked ham Cilan, though I would have preferred some salad instead," Kira thanked the connoisseur, reaching out for a knife and fork on the cloche and using said utensils to slice up smoke ham pieces. Sonic, seeing this as an opportunity to strike, got Pikachu and Pichu ready, as their cheeks charged up with electricity.
Cilan: Wanted Kiria and Snake's date to feel authentic as possible, hence the candle-lit dinner and the smoked ham. I wanted this date to be something Kiria and Snake would remember for the rest of their lives, something they can build their relationship upon. Who cares if Snake and Kiria are two decades apart in age! *pauses, then grimaces*
"Pika..." Pikachu charged up more electricity, as he and Pichu were about to let Kiria have it. But they would stop, however, when a certain brunette crashed the date, taking several slices of the smoked ham and eating them while wearing his boxers. Cilan and Snake curiously looked at Sora, who had sneaked up on Kiria from the side and was eating the smoked ham happily, until he got noticed.
"Oh, sup guys, Omochao told me there was a date going on, and advised me to crash the date, or something like that," explained Sora, before taking another slice of the smoked ham, as Pikachu and Pichu charged up even more electricity. "Gotta admit, this ham tastes pretty good!"
"I would recommend pouring maple syrup on the smoked ham - smoked ham always tastes better with maple syrup as glaze!" recommended Omochao; Sora, taking upon Omochao's suggestion, went to the kitchen to retrieve some syrup, leaving Kiria out in the clear for Pikachu and Pichu to strike.
"Thank goodness Sora's out of the way..." said Sonic, as Pikachu and Pichu's cheeks had reached full electrical capacity. "Pikachu, Pichu, you two know what to do...fire at will!"
So that's what Pikachu and Pichu did, as they both used Thunderbolt on Kiria, electrocuting her and hopefully bringing her back to her senses...however, that wasn't what happened. Sora had just returned to the dining room with the maple syrup, and instead of Kiria, Pikachu and Pichu struck Sora, who kinda got in their way, electrocuting the Keyblade wielder. Kiria and the others looked on as Sora got electrocuted, before falling to the floor covered in soot after Pikachu and Pichu were done.
"I'm telling you, Master Hand, Sora has been up to no good today - just saw him make his way to the kitchen area still wearing his boxers," Jakob told Master Hand, guiding the giant hand to the dining room, where they would find a sooty Sora lying on the floor, trying to get up. "There he is, on the floor - by the looks of it, it seemed like he was trying to sabotage this date between Kiria, and...and Snake...but he was stopped just in time!"
"You can thank us later," Sonic called out to Jakob on behalf of him, Pikachu, and Pichu, although Sora meddled with his plans. Sora got up, and saw Jakob and Master Hand looking at him, requiring answers.
"Sora what has gotten into you today man, are you out of your mind?!" boomed Master Hand, as Snake awkardly left the premises when nobody was noticing. Sonic would follow suit, bringing Pikachu and Pichu along. "First you meander in just your boxers, and now this?! What do you have to say for yourself?"
"Those were none of my intentions, it was Omochao who told me what to do," stated Sora, as he pointed up high at...well, nothing. Sora turned around, and saw that Omochao wasn't there! Robot fella must have deserted poor Sora.
Samus: One thing I forgot to mention about Omochao...I've programmed it so that it would flee whenever Master Hand was around, since Master Hand can't stand floating things that lecture you and stuff. This will buy some time and keep Sora preoccupied, and keep him away from Cloud as far as possible.
"Likely story...I think a swift punishment will teach you a lesson," said Jakob, devising the perfect punishment for Sora. "A week's worth of massaging Wario's entire body would make up for Sora's...expressionism, as he once called it. What do you think, Master Hand?"
"Ooh, that sounds like a great punishment!" the giant hand exclaimed with much glee. Anything that pertained to punishing and humiliating others always lifted up Master Hand's spirits. "Would have preferred Sora to massage me, but Wario sounds more tortuous. Better bring a gas mask Sora - you might need it!"
"Thanks for bailing out on me, Omochao..." sighed Sora as he wiped the soot off of him. Jakob smiled devilishly again after Sora's punishment was dealt...for his "display of power" impressed Master Hand well. The butler job was nearly in the bag for Jakob.
After the punishment was dealt to Sora, Master Hand would return to his room, only to encounter Mario along the way. Time for the giant hand to see if the plumber completed his mission...
"Mario, about time you returned from Inkopolis!" Master Hand greeted the plumber, scaring him from behind. "So how did it go, did Pearl and Marina agree to reside at the mansion and sign with Star Records? Tell me where they are, I must meet them right away!"
"I'm-a sorry, Master Hand, I let-a you down, I - or we - failed-a the mission..." responded Mario, as he told Master Hand the entire story of how he was challenged by Pearl to a rap battle with stakes on the line. Master Hand thought it was perhaps the dumbest thing ever.
"Don't know what's worse - the fact that you even had a shot at winning a rap battle, or that you relied on Pit and Kirby to be your ghostwriters. You deserved every right in the world to lose, and you made yourself look bad in front of a gazillion Inklings!"
"But Master Hand, like I told-a you, I only lost because-a I supposedly broke-a the rules by doing a...mic drop." Master Hand refused to listen to Mario anymore, as he headed to his room full of disgust. Mario sighed and walked away, before encountering Luke, who was holding something behind his back. "Ah, Luke, you nearly scared-a me, like Master Hand did-a to me moments ago! Something you wish-a to share with me?"
"Layton, Cloud, and I infiltrated the Four Seasons hotel posing as health inspectors to search for more clues, and we found this," Luke held out the item behind his back, the Holo Caster, to Mario. Kid didn't even acknowledge Wario-Man, who played a huge role in finding the clue.
"That must-a be a Holo Caster - those things are all-a the rage back in the Kalos region. Meaning that the culprit could-a possibly be some-a one from Kalos...thanks for showing me-a this Luke! One-a step closer to finding out who-a dared to ruin-a my wedding day! You and Layton keep-a up the good work!" Mario patted Luke on his head as he walked away, leaving Luke smiling.
"Sorry that I couldn't stop Kiria's lovestruck ways, Snake," Sonic would apologize to the former spy in the gaming room. Snake was seated on a barstool, holding his head down with his arms on a pub table. "Sora kinda got in the way of things."
"Eh, I'll live an obsessed Kiria until you devise another plan," responded Snake, not looking up to face Sonic. "I'll just spend my time in my cardboard box 24/7, and feast on leftovers from breakfast and dinner. Kiria would never think about looking underneath a cardboard box anyways."
"If you say so...just do your thing and you'll be fine." Sonic said this as he walked away, walking past the Inklings who were seated at a sofa playing some Street Fighter V on the television. Rare moment for the male Inkling to be willingly out of his room.
"Have you gotten over your precious Callie, did you finally move on and focus of things that are actually important?" the female Inkling asked her buddy, her Karin sweeping the floor with the male Inkling's Guile.
"If you asked me that before the trip to Inkopolis...I would have likely said no," answered the male Inkling, trying to land a few punches and kicks on Karin. "But I think that returning to Inkopolis, and seeing how euphoric the city was, and that rap battle too, even though Mario lost...I think I'm over it now. Maybe I should stop worry and obsessing over Callie, it's not gonna get me anywhere..."
Male Inkling: Hmm, I wonder how Marie is handling this whole Callie situation...
"So you and Link did have some important stuff to do, like you said earlier," Aerith spoke with Cloud, the two lovebirds walking through the hallway. Cloud will forever be known by the Four Seasons hotel folks as "Lucious Shuttlesworth", provided "Lucious" even returns to the hotel. "Nice of you to help out Layton and Luke."
"It was just to get away from Sora, that Omochao hopefully kept that guy busy while I was gone," remarked Cloud. Where exactly was Omochao, anyway?
Shortly after Cloud and Aerith exited the hallway and went down the stairs, Mega Man and .EXE quickly ran to Mega Man's room, with .EXE holding a sack over his shoulders. Once inside the room, .EXE gently placed the sack on the floor, as Mega Man locked the doors. The robots must have done some nifty shopping while they were at Inkopolis.
"The coast's clear, you can get out now," Mega Man said to, well, someone...as one-half of the Squid Sisters, Marie, exited from the sack, wearing a kimono as she took her parasol out from the sack. "Just so you know, we're only giving you one week to..."
"Yeah, yeah, I know - one week to stay at the mansion, so I can keep my mind off of Callie and stuff," replied Marie, standing on her own two feet. Most likely she'll be rooming with Mega Man for the time being. "Do tell, is there any pineapple pizza served at the mansion?"
"Nope, we have to order pizza ourselves. Would be convenient if we didn't though, I will admit..."
Mega Man: Think I know a great way to cheer up Marie and keep her spirits high. Just gotta ask Master Hand for some permission first...