Author's Note:
Got three anonymous reviews to answer, so here's the first one:
"Can you add Josh and Sheva from Resident Evil 5? Is Fake Crash gonna show up? Is Cortex using his Clancy Brown or Lex Lang voice? Will Dante's appearance be based on his Devil May Cry 1 or Devil May Cry 2 look? Will a Monster Hunter Stories chapter happen in time for the game's release? (September 8 is the release date) Can you make Saya and Sheath residents of the Smash Mansion? And finally, how will the characters be able to see some of the Tales of Zestiria characters? (Since Seraphims are invisible to some humans)"
Probably. Fake Crash will show up eventually. Cortex is using his Lex Lang voice. Dante's appearance will be based on his DMC2 look. May do a Monster Hunter Stories chapter. I'll figure out something about the Tales of Zestiria characters. And who are Saya and Sheath? My ignorance is failing me...second anonymous review:
"So...If Lucina is Morgan's Sister, then Lucina is Robin's daughter, but also Robin's girlfriend, meaning Morgan will eventually be Morgan's Niece and Morgan in turn will be Morgan's Uncle? What have you done"
I...I don't even know. Fire Emblem canon can be confusing for me sometimes. Last anonymous review:
"When are Lann and Reynn going to appear in Smash Life already?"
Patience, my friend - I haven't found anything for Lann (*cough* still looks like Roxas *cough*) and Reynn to do yet. They could appear in the next chapter, or the chapter after that - just remain patient, and Lann and Reynn will apper soon.
Episode 86: Competitive
Today was a day Luigi had been waiting for - the day the green plumber finally ate his beloved BLT sandwich.
Yes, you heard right, a BLT sandwich.
Now you're thinking to yourself, "What's so special about some lousy BLT sandwich, it's just like all the other BLT sandwiches!" What made this particular sandwich so different was that Luigi had sacrificed most of his time with Daisy and Charles to perfect this sandwich - earning some scrutiny from his wife in the process - and making sure it was the greatest sandwich ever created.
And now, it was time for Luigi to eat his greatest creation, his proudest achievement. The plumber, with Charles seated across from him in his baby chair, tied a napkin around his neck, his BLT sandwich on a plate just dying to be consumed, as he sat down in his seat...only to somehow fall onto the floor, landing on his bum in the process. Luigi frowned as he rubbed his now sore boat, seeing that his chair was now misplaced.
"Hey, what-a gives, where did my chair-a go?!" questioned Luigi, ticked as ever; what followed afterwards was laughing and snickering, from two space pilots responsible for moving the chair - Fox and Falco, with Falco holding a digital camera. They popped out from their hiding spots, laughing it up, with Charles laughing too. They were all laughing at Luigi, and the plumber angrily got up to confront the pilots. "You dare-a make me look foolish in front-a of my baby boy?!" Luigi angrily asked Fox and Falco, who just kept on laughing.
"Oh man, you should have seen the look on your face when you fell!" Fox said to a still ticked off Luigi, wiping away a tear from laughing too hard. "Your eyes were wider than the moon, it was like you had seen a ghost, like King Boo!"
"Yeah, we would have pulled the prank on your son, but we all know you and Daisy would be crying about it more than Charles would," added Falco, before his eyes fell on Luigi's BLT sandwich. The avian pilot's mouth was almost salivating just from looking at it, and he couldn't afford to let the sandwich go uneaten. "So, uh, Luigi, you're gonna eat that sandwich?"
"Yes, yes-a I am, keep your filthy hands-a away from it!" Luigi ran to his sandwich and held it away from Falco, like the sandwich was the One Ring from the Lord of the Rings. It was his precious... "How about you take-a your silly pranking shenanigans some-a where else, and leave-a me and my sandwich...and-a Charles...alone!"
Fox: We issued a challenge to Little Mac and Knuckles, a challenge easier said than done - we create YouTube channels, and whoever can accrue the most subscribers and views in a week will win...will win...well, they'll win something.
Falco: My man Fox and I are doing a prank channel, and Knuckles and Little Mac will be doing a song channel, where they sing and rap various songs, as chosen by themselves. Speaking of singing, Little Mac did better than expected in that Sweeney Todd play; granted, he was far from perfect, but he was a lot better than we ever would have thought, or given him credit for.
Fox: And to think all that needed to happen for Little Mac to get his moment to shine was for Doc Louis to come to Yashiro, begging on his knees and demanding that Little Mac gets the role of Sweeney Todd. Words couldn't describe how proud Doc was after the play was over - think I saw the man crying his eyes out.
"Fine then, we'll just take our pranking expertise elsewhere, since obviously you can't comprehend the meaning of fun," said Fox, as he and Falco left Luigi's home. Maybe the next person the pilots pranked would react to the prank in a happy, jovial manner, and not be salty about being pranked in general. However, that would only be contingent on how dumb the prank was.
Once outside, Fox and Falco spotted Mario playing Frisbee with Poochy. The plumber never really got a chance to truly bond with Poochy, so he had to cherish every second of this Frisbee game he could. Moreover, he was also open for a prank by Fox and Falco, and they had the perfect one in mind, as Falco pulled out his phone...
"HOLY SMOKES, THE COPS ARE COMING, I REPEAT THE COPS ARE COMING!" shouted the avian pilot, the sound of a police siren sounding from his cellphone, as he and Fox frantically ran away from the imaginary cops. But Mario kept his cool, and continued to play with Poochy, as he threw the Frisbee as far as he could over Poochy's head.
"Nice-a try boys, but it'll take-a more than just some silly police-a prank to fool me," grinned Mario, as Poochy went to go fetch the Frisbee. Fox and Falco would return to the scene, feeling defeated; but hey, at least they tried! (Although their effort could've been somewhat better.)
"Dang it, our prank didn't work...perhaps we would have had better results had we tried the prank on some black guy, like Doc Louis," remarked Fox. Imagine a big guy like Doc Louis running away at the sound of police sirens - would be as great of a workout as, say, riding on a bike during an epic training scene.
"Why don't we just go back to the mansion and prank someone there?" asked Falco, as Poochy returned to Mario with the Frisbee in his mouth. While Fox and Falco continued with their pranking ways, let's go see how Little Mac and Knuckles were doing...
"Little Mac, for the last time, we're NOT singing 'Untouched' by The Veronica, that song's pretty much written from a girl's perspective!" Knuckles said to the boxer, as the two Star Records artists were in the Star Records room, debating what song they should sing for their YouTube channel. "And I thought I told you we weren't singing any songs about romance!"
"Probably just saying that because you feel untouched by your woman Rouge," retorted Little Mac, and Knuckles couldn't say a word after that. Knuckles's relationship with Rouge, while not as fluctuating as Fox's relationship with Krystal, was still pretty rocky in most regards; Knuckles couldn't even remember the last time he and Rouge hanged out, aside from episode 69. For all he knew, Rouge could be starting a secret fling with Shadow... "If you don't wanna sing that song...then what other song do you want to do?"
"Tupac Shakur...'Hit Em Up'. We could send out a diss song to those freaks at the All-Star Manor, and then we can show it to Mario and make the man proud." Mario's stance on the All-Star Manor was still a pretty negative stance, especially after that whole Raiden incident that involved the former child soldier bringing Heihachi over to the manor during that cruise ship vacation.
"Mario would be perhaps the only person enjoying that song - everyone else wouldn't give a crap. Honestly, I think we should just do some karaoke - give it a gimmick to make it more interesting, like singing with helium or something like that.
Doc Louis: Words cannot even BEGIN to describe how proud I am of my boy, Little Mac! Not only was he great in his acting role as Sweeney Todd, but he was also a pretty effective and capable singer - never even heard the man sing a single day in my life! Some folks say that Little Mac was a little out of tune on certain notes, but those are just the haters talking. When you're at the top of the world, there will always be people trying to bring you down to their level of sorriness. But Little Mac, he's on another level -a level that NOBODY, not even the best singer or entertainer in the world, can reach!
"Little Mac, what are you up to my man?" Doc Louis would ask his protege as he entered the Star Records room; Little Mac had a bummed out look on his face, and Knuckles would share his grief. "First off, let me just say that you went ham in that play last week, don't let anyone tell you otherwise!"
"Thanks Doc for telling me that for like, the gazillionth time today," Little Mac apathetically responded; Doc Louis, throughout the entire week, was heaping unwanted praise onto Little Ma, and at each and every moment he could - when Little Mac went to bed, when Little Mac woke up, before breakfast, during breakfast, after breakfast, whenever Little Mac was using the bathroom, during Little Mac's training, and other inappropriate times. To say Little Mac was getting a little tired of Doc's nonsense would be a understatement.
"No, that was the fourteenth time I told you that today, I've been counting, I tell you. So quit making up fake numbers just to prove a point!" Doc Louis counting the amount of times he praised Little Mac was making his praising all the more cringeworthy and creepy. "You never told me what you and Knuckles were up to - why do you have X's laptop up, and what's with that digital camera?"
"Little Mac and Knuckles are starting up a music channel on YouTube, they're in a competition with Fox and Falco to see who can accrue the most subscribers and views on YouTube in a span of one week!" Big Top kindly explained to Doc Louis. The boxing trainer took great interest in Mac and Knuckles's online musical pursuits, as he grabbed a chair and sat next to Little Mac so he could join in...just what Little Mac needed. "Mac and Knuckles are gonna sing songs all day long!"
"You know, there's this one song that's been stuck in my head all week...it's an Earth, Wind and Fire song. Ever heard of the song, 'Boogie Wonderland'?" Both Little Mac and Knuckles nodded their heads; either they did know the song, or they were just trying to make Doc happy and make him believe that folks their age appreciated the great artists and tunes of yesterday. "I think you boys should sing that song. Though it would feel incomplete without any instrumental accompaniment. I would suggest finding an instrumental version of 'Boogie Wonderland' online, but I would't risk it - it can be very hypnotizing! Trust me, I know just from experience..."
Another person would enter the Star Records room, and it was a person still lovestruck with a former spy known as Snake...Kiria Kuruno. Yes, Kiria still harbored a crush on Snake, and it was greatly concerning for Fox, Falco, Itsuki, and everyone else involved with Star Records. To avoid Kiria, Snake returned to hiding underneath a cardboard box, with the hopes that the idol singer would leave him alone once and for all.
"Sorry if I'm interrupting you boys, but have you seen Snake anywhere?" Kiria would ask Doc Louis and company, speaking in a tone that felt too romantic - almost like Kiria underwent a complete personality change after drinking that love potion. "I know he's just playing hard to get, but it's too bad for him that I'm a go-getter girl...Snake will be mine, one day..."
"Girl you got a serious problem, you should go seek some serious help!" Doc Louis angrily stood up, as he confronted Kiria. Doc, who was praising Little Mac like he was Lin-Manuel Miranda, was now being aggressive and fed up - that should show you how much the boxing trainer was disturbed by Kiria's romantic interest in someone like Snake. "Snake is at least twice your age, and you want to start a fling with him? Have you not considered his shortcomings in love? Have you not considered that his crush Meryl Silverburgh chose to marry someone else over him? Have you not considered..."
Doc Louis would be cut short, when...WHAM! A now disgusted Kiria slapped the boxing trainer in the face, slapping the taste out of his mouth. While Doc Louis recuperated from the shock ingrained in him from the slap, Little Mac and Knuckles just looked on in shock.
Knuckles: Dang, Doc Louis just got slapped by Kiria...now I can finally be at peace knowing that another man knows what it's like to be slapped by a woman out of nowhere. Rouge can sure hit hard!
"How dare you question the insurmountable love I have for Snake - you're just jealous because you've never been in love yourself!" frowned Kiria, but that's where she's wrong, for Doc Louis has been in love...with a chocolate bar. Multiple chocolate bars. "You can't comprehend what it's like to love someone, to have feelings for someone, to have a desire to be with someone you love forever and ever, until the end! You'd rather let your chocolate obsession distract you from the meaning of the true power of love!"
"Nobody talks to me and expects to get away with it!" retorted Doc Louis, digging into his pants pocket and pulling out the one thing that would teach Kiria a lesson in showing respect to elders...a chocolate bar, this one named Naomi. Little Mac felt so embarrassed for Doc Louis, and for himself. "C'mon Naomi, teach that woman Kiria how to respect others!" Unfazed by Doc's craziness, Kiria just snatched the chocolate bar out of the boxing trainer's hand and ate it, like it was nothing. Doc Louis was now full of rage, as he had witnessed his newest love interest consumed in savage fashion.
"I shouldn't be wasting my time with the likes of you...I should be dedicating my time looking for my precious Snakey-Wakey!" Yikes, Kiria was giving Snake pet names now? Things could only get worse from here on out... "I know he's out there, somewhere, in this godforsaken mansion, hiding under some cardboard box...I will find him, and I will make him mine!"
Kiria stormed out of Star Records room, furious as ever. But Doc Louis was ever more furious, still feeling the after-effects of the slap the idol singer delivered to him. The boxing trainer had just about enough of Kiria's romantic obsession over Snake, and he thought now was the perfect time to end this obsession, once and for all.
"Doc Louis are you feeling okay, still feeling pretty heated?" Little Mac would ask his trainer, feeling now was the appropriate time to ask Doc how he was feeling. "Sorry Kiria had to slap you like that..." Don't be a lousy suck-up, Little Mac. Doc Louis sucks up to you enough already as it is.
"No worries, Little Mac, Kiria's gonna get what's coming to her..." vowed Doc Louis, as he dug into his pants pocket and pulled out another chocolate bar. "Her" name was Nicole. "Her love for Snake has got to stop somehow! If we are to stop this lovefest Kiria has for the man, then it's gonna require someone who's already in love...someone who's married and knows the ups and downs of love...someone...like Mario!" What a relatively fine choice.
Pit and Kirby were in the living room, playing video games. The game they were playing? NBA Live 2003, on the Nintendo Gamecube. (Playing this NBA classic on a gaming console not from Nintendo would be outlawed and almost guarantee you a ban from the Smash Mansion.) Kirby was playing as the Los Angeles Lakers, starring Kobe Bryant and Shaquille O'Neal, and Pit was playing as the Cleveland Cavaliers...before the team even drafted LeBron James. Pit was absolutely struggling, as the game was in Kirby's favor, 88-29...at halftime. Pit was essentially getting his butt kicked by someone without fingers, or opposable thumbs.
Why were Pit and Kirby playing NBA Live 2003, you might ask? It was because they were a part of the YouTube channel competition, and they wanted to pursue a gaming channel mostly centered around sports games, since it seemed like the in thing on YouTube these days. One thing though - they weren't even a part of the competition in the first place! Pit just eavesdropped Knuckles and the Star Fox pilots discussing the challenge, and told Kirby about it, and the two friends went from there.
Pit: Fox, Falco, Little Mac, Knuckles...they can all enjoy their pranking and singing, but just when either team think they have the competition in the bag, Kirby and I will swoop in, and enter the competition and win!
Kirby: You heard it here first folks - it will be the two of us winning the competition! We're like the third wheel that nobody expects at a romantic date, that one guy at the party that steals the last slice of pizza...we seize the opportunity when said opportunity arises, and gain victory, sweet joyous victory!
"Kirby, why must you be so great at sports games?" Pit asked his best friend, not ready yet to throw in the towel. A better question to ask would be: Pit, why are you so horrible at sports games, and how can you lose to someone without ANY FINGERS?!
"Well nobody's telling you to stop chucking threes, even when it's not necessary..." replied Kirby, as the second half of the greatly lopsided game was about to begin. "As a caring friend I would tell you to stop, but this margin of impeding victory is too sweet!" Dark Pit walked by and saw Pit and Kirby playing their game, and was shell-shocked by the score. Even though this was a video game, the doppelganger was shocked as ever seeing how huge the margin was.
"Let me guess...Kirby's the one playing as the Lakers," said Dark Pit, to which Pit reluctantly nodded as he shot a needless three-point, mere seconds after the third quarter began. "Heh, I should have known, Pit sucks at each and every little thing!" Dark Pit sure loved to put Pit down whenever necessary. "Also, why are you two playing some lousy basketball game from the early 2000's anyways?" Dark Pit could tell how old the game was just by looking at the graphics; all the players on the court looked cartoonish as heck.
"We're in this competition with Fox and Falco, and Little Mac and Knuckles, to see who can accrue the most subscribers and views on their YouTube in one week," explained Pit, who blatantly allowed Kirby to steal the ball from him. No wonder the poor angel was getting his behind whooped. "Technically we're not officially part of the competition yet, but later on when the subscribers and views start rolling in once we upload our videos, we'll make our surprise entry and take the competition by storm!"
"What's the point of entering this 'competition' if you can't even..." Dark Pit was ready to question Pit and Kirby, but he decided to save his breath. "...you know what, I'll just shut up and let you two be great. Seriously doubt Fox and the others will let you losers in their 'competition', but more power to you both..." Dark Pit was about to walk away, but an idea suddenly clicked in his mind...an idea involving someone the doppelganger actually liked. "Actually, I think that if you want to win this competition, then you should invite more people to play games with you. I mean, what fun is it to have just two gamers? People need variety these days, you know what I mean?"
"What are you getting at?" asked Kirby, unnerved by how affable Dark Pit was. Rarely was the doppelganger friendly or engaging, especially with the likes of Pit and Kirby, but the person he was about to mention would probably explain his change in attitude.
"I was thinking that...perhaps you could invite Flora and I to be a part of your channel? And Felicia, too?" This offer intrigued Pit and Kirby - both the angel and the puffball knew that Dark Pit took a certain liking towards Flora, which started back in episode 57. As you might recall, Flora suffered from grave self-confidence issues, constantly doubting herself and wondering if she was great at anything other than being a housemaid, and Dark Pit would constantly get the maid involved in certain activities to make her feel more confident in her abilities. This is what the doppelganger was trying to do now - get Flora in things outside of her maid duties.
"I dunno man - Flora sucks at each and every little thing," Pit smirked, doing his best to stifle his laughter as Dark Pit shot a glare at him. That was no way to speak about someone with confidence issues, but we all know Pit was just getting under Dark Pit's skin...this was one of the super rare moments that happened.
"Just wait until she kicks your behind - she'll have you crying and whining for months!" said Dark Pit, pointing in Pit's face as the angel caught a rebound...his first rebound in the entire game. Guy was looking like barbecue chicken in that game. "Enjoy your fun...if you're even having fun, that is...all you can, because Flora is going to give you a beating that you will never, EVER forget!"
Sure, Dark Pit, whatever keeps you happy and make Flora feel somewhat content...
Layton: Thanks to the wonderful Coco Bandicoot, we have received new information about our investigation into the hotel fire accident...turns out Lysandre and Team Flare had some involvement in the hotel explosion that took place. I would assume that the men in suits that were in that security footage with whom Lysandre referred to as "The Cloaked One" were Team Flare members.
Luke: However, there is some work left to do...there might be some previous calls remaining on that Holo Caster Coco got to work, and so we're having Coco see if she can find said calls so we can gather more clues and keep the investigation going.
Layton: While Coco is busy with that, Luke and I will be looking for clues at Dr. Light's laboratory - Mega Man had received word from Dr. Light about some folks in red suits lurking around the lab, and so we're paying Dr. Light a visit and look for any signs of Team Flare. Could be some suspicious activity taking place, could be a false alarm...but it will give us a short break from the mansion, with X fixing the air conditioning.
"Man, X needs to fix this air conditioning real quick, I'm sweating buckets over here!" remarked Sonic, wiping away the sweat on his forehead with his hand. The hedgehog was walking through the mansion with his new best friend Crash and Aku, and they were on their way to the workshop, where Tails was.
"I'm sweating buckets too, never would I expect a hot day in Seattle," said Aku, as Crash and Sonic gave the witchdoctor mask inquisitive looks. "The sweat is even running all the way down to the opening of my mouth...tastes too salty..."
"Dude you're a floating mask, how are you able to sweat at all?" Some logic was clearly missing here...or maybe it was all in Aku's mind, and the mask was just going crazy from the heat. Heat could make anyone go stir-crazy. "You don't even have a body, or a respiratory system! So how are you even able to breathe?"
"I'm a magical mask, my boy, and when you're magical, you can do very magical things! Yes, I will admit, that was a corny response, but how about you just go with the flow before questioning me more? I've had just about enough of you pestering me about my initial meeting with Crash..."
"Well, I just think that it was weird for you to meet Crash when he washed up on the shore...while stuck inside some orange crate. Sounds like something a child predator would do, chilling inside some crate waiting for some kid on the beach to abduct." Yet Snake has been hiding underneath cardboard boxes for years, even when he wasn't spying on others, and Sonic didn't think there was anything wrong with that...
Sonic, Crash, and Aku would soon arrive at the workshop, where they saw Samus working away on her Power Suit, with Pikachu perched on the bounty hunter's shoulder, watching the work being done. Also in the workshop was Sonic's pal Tails, and he was working...
...with Coco, on the Holo Caster. Yes, the yellow fox and the blonde bandicoot were working together, for the first time, and they were working on the Holo Caster, as Coco was trying to pull up previous calls made on the device.
"Thanks again for your assistance on this Holo Caster, Tails," Coco thanked the fox, as the two brainiacs were trying to figure out the Kalos communication device out. "Tried asking Mega Man and his robot pals for help, but they are so stubborn...especially Proto Man. He can be so aloof at times, always has his head in the clouds..."
"Proto Man has always been like that ever since I first met the guy - he's like a silent edgelord, keeps his thoughts to himself," remarked Tails, as he looked up and saw Sonic, his eyes wide and his mouth agape. The hedgehog was pointing at Tails, like there was a blood-sucking alien on the fox sucking the life out of his body. "...yes, Sonic, may I help you?"
"You're in love with Crash's sister Coco on the lowkey and you never told me?!" frowned Sonic, boiling internally with disdain. Samus kept continuing her work, doing her best not to pay any iota of attention to Sonic's shenanigans. "Man, I feel so hurt right now! I tell you my secret of using Marth's tiara as a backscratcher and yet you refuse to share with me any secret of yours!"
"First off, if I were you, I wouldn't tell a single soul that I use Marth's tiara as a backscratcher, not even my best friend. That's something you should definitely keep to yourself. Secondly, I'm not in love with Coco, I'm just doing her a solid. And if I were in love with Coco, then pretty sure I would tell the others, and everyone would know..."
"Aha, so you admit it, you admit to being in love with Coco! What do you have to say about this, Crash?" Crash, an excitable goofball who probably didn't even know what was going on, just gave a crazy smile that was hard for Sonic to interpret if it was a positive smile, or a negative one. Aku was about to open his mouth and give his two cents, but Sonic would turn his attention to someone else... "What do you think of Tails being in love with Coco, Miss Aran?" The blue blur asked Samus, who couldn't care less about Tails's romantic life.
"Yeah, I think Tails should be punished for keeping his romance with Coco a secret from you Sonic, screw him for not telling his best friend vital information," replied Samus, providing perhaps the most apathetic answer known to all mankind. It was safe to say Samus didn't give a crap about love...after all, it wasn't like she and fellow Galactic Federation budy Anthony Higgs were ever romantically linked. Oh, think of the possibilities!
Samus: Sure hope Sonic isn't one of those people that get all jealous when they have a girlfriend, and a best friend of theirs has a girlfriend too, which kinda equals up the score, in a way. But if Tails was indeed in love with Coco (can't see that happening, even with Tails and Coco having so many things in common), then why would it be that big of a deal if such a romance was kept a secret? Sonic better not let this jealous streak get the best of him, he's already irritable enough as it is...an annoying, jealous Sonic would be enough for me to ditch the mansion entirely and head back to the Galactic Federation. The people there may be pushovers, but the payoff for returning would be HUGE.
Sonic: Not sure if anyone has noticed this before...but is it just me, or does Samus look like a taller, human version of Coco Bandicoot? Or is Coco a smaller, animal version of Samus?
"I agree with you wholeheartedly Samus, Tails deserves punishment for keeping juicy secrets away from best friends!" said Sonic; Jakob wouldn't hesitate to punish Tails, since the butler had a little fling of being an authoritative figure as of late. "In fact...in fact...I don't think we're even best friends anymore, Tails!"
"Sonic I think you're taking this way past the extreme - Coco and I are not in love, and even if we were, I would never keep it as a secret from you," Tails told Sonic, who didn't know whether he should trust anything from the yellow fox's mouth or not. "This isn't worth anything ending our friendship over...I mean, for all we know, Knuckles might've kept his relationship with Rouge a secret from you until it..."
"Knuckles was open with his relationship with Rouge, unlike the likes of YOU!" Sonic was acting like Tails had slept with Amy in the past or something. "You better be glad I now have Crash a best friend, otherwise I would have only ONE best friend! Let's go, Crash...we don't need to be in the presence of secretive dudes like Tails! Let Jakob punish the man...whip him till he begs for mercy!"
"Don't you think that's a bit too harsh Sonic? It's not like we're living in the slavery times anymore..." Sonic was too ticked to even rationalize, at this point.
"But you are a slave, Tails...a slave for Coco's love! And therefore you deserve every right to be whipped to no end! C'mon Crash and Aku, let's leave this love slave toil in his wrongdoing, make him reap from his just desserts..."
"Sonic, don't you think you're completely blowing this thing out of proportion?" Aku, receiving a first-hand taste of prototypical Sonic, asked the blue blur, who took Crash's hand and stomped out of the laboratory, all while the bandicoot happily waved to a now bewildered Coco. Aku would follow Sonic and Crash out of the workshop, hoping Sonic would come back to his senses...like that would ever happen.
"Is he...is he going to be okay?" Coco would ask Tails, who heaved a heavy sigh. Considering that the yellow fox was often shipped with Cream the Rabbit, despite Cream being only six years of age, it was odd for Sonic to believe Tails would be in love with Coco, out of the blue.
"Sonic can be like that sometimes - he'll get over it very soon," responded Tails, as he and Coco resumed their work on the Holo Caster. "Or so I hope..."
Cortex was back at the mansion yet again, and he was more than determined to find Crash and annihilate him once and for all. Despite Uka repeatedly telling the mad scientist to give up and focus on other villainous pursuits, but Cortex refused to stop until he got to Crash, at whatever the cost...
"Hold on, hold on, hold your horses, I'm coming!" Lucario said as, approaching the front door as the person behind the front door was ringing the doorbell over and over again. Samus (once again) had to order pizza, and she ordered it earlier than usual because A) she would forget to order the pizza later, or B) she thought, "Ah, screw it..." and just ordered the pizza, not giving a crap about how cold the pizza would get later. And there were multiple boxes of pizza ordered, so putting the pizza in the oven would be no bueno. "I said I'm coming, stop ringing the doorbell!"
Lucario would finally reach the front door, and when he opened it, he saw the pizza delivery man, with yellow skin and a rather short stature...it was Dr. Neo Cortex, the pizza delivery man, wearing a cap that was big enough to hide the massive N on his head. With him were many boxes of pizza, as well as a few appetizers. Samus couldn't forget about ordering Wario's hot wings, lest she wanted to hear complaints from the fatso himself.
Cortex: Something I've noticed from certain villains is that they utilize a ploy of disguise to achieve their goals! So, in order to reach Crash, and destroy him, I've disguised myself as a pizza delivery man... *pauses* ...but to tell you the truth, I signed up with a local pizzeria for one day, since the staff wouldn't let me borrow one of their uniforms, so I could deliver pizza to the Smash Mansion and make my way inside said mansion to get to Crash! Lucked out greatly when I was told I had to make a delivery to the mansion!
Uka: Honestly Cortex, you could have dressed in drag and get access to the mansion that way. Would guarantee laughs for everyone!
Cortex: Everyone except for me...but I did consider dressing in drag one time, when I was at the Iceberg Lab and Crash and I were working together, in the hopes that it wouldn't attract the wrong kind of attention...
Uka: But you were seen with Crash at the time, so what is this "wrong kind of attention" that you speak of?
Cortex: ...just wait outside until I'm done Uka. And don't let anyone see you, either!
Uka: You're saying that like you'll even succeed at your mission...
"Hello, blue jackal creature, the name is Ne...Neil Cor...Corbin!" Cortex would introduce himself to Lucario, who found it strange that a random pizza delivery guy would introduce himself to the customer. "Neil Corbin's the name!"
"Yet your employee name tag reads 'Stacey'," said Lucario, looking down at Cortex's name tag. Cortex looked down and saw the name tag himself, gasping in fear. Apparently he didn't pick out the name tag himself...
"Oh, yes, for whatever reason, the pizzeria I work at didn't have a name tag with 'Neil' on it, so I had to settle with this one...hehehe." Though he wasn't present, and though he had no idea what was taking place, Uka was probably shaking his head at Cortex, knowing failure was soon on the way. "May I come in and place these pizza boxes and things inside the mansion? Bringing all this stuff in one piece was truly a hassle, so I should be paid handsomely for my efforts!"
"Come inside and just wait in the foyer, I'll get someone to pay for the pizza." Lucario would let Cortex inside the mansion, helping him carry the pizza and the wings and the breadsticks and others into the mansion. "YO JACKY, THE PIZZA'S HERE, IT'S YOUR TURN TO PAY!" Lucario called out to the indy car racer after he was done helping Cortex, walking away as Cortex was sitting on the couch.
"Going all-in and hunting down for Crash would be no good..." Cortex quietly said to himself, as he was looking around the foyer and soaking in everything the foyer had to offer. "I should just take the wait-and-see approach this time around, and wait for Crash to show up! Leaving my current post would effectively blow my cover...
Link and Cloud were with Mamori, Ashley, and Asuka in the kitchen, ready to shoot an episode of Microwave Idol Mamorin with Mamori and friends. The two swordsmen were dressed up as chefs, both wearing a chef hat and an apron.
"Can't wait to see what Mamori has in store for us on her episode today," Link said to Cloud, who didn't share the Hylian's level of optimism, as he tightened the strap on his apron. Today would be the first day both Link and Cloud got to cook something...even if it involved only a microwave.
"Got a sneaky feeling Mamori will invite Sora in her episode to be some stupid 'secret guest', I can smell an appearance from him coming from a mile away," stated Cloud, who felt downright goofy in his cooking apron. Granted the apron was black, much like his attire, but the chef hat on the top of his spiky hair wasn't doing him any favors. "Sucks for me that I can't ditch the episode altogether, so really I'm stuck here..."
After Ashley got the camera rolling, it was time for another episode of Microwave Idol Mamorin to begin. Link and Cloud quickly got out of the way, as Mamori, Ashley, and Asuka were now on-screen, three smiling faces looking at the camera (or two rather, since Ashley never smiled).
"Hello, boys and girls, ladies and gentlemen, wherever you may be!" Mamori greeted her audience, with her ever cutesy smile and deposition. "Welcome to another episode of Microwave Idol Mamorin, with Ashley, Asuka, and yours truly, Mamori! We're gonna warm up your heart, with the press of a button!"
"Today on our show, we have two very special guests - one is best known as the hero of Hyrule, and the other is an ex-SOLDIER better known for his eco-terrorist works," said Asuka, as Link and Cloud were getting ready for their Microwave Idol Mamorin debuts. "Everyone give it up two of the best swordsmen out there...Link and Cloud Strife!"
Ashley pressed a button on her remote, cuing the sound of applause, as Link and Cloud showed up next to Mamori and company. Link was happily waving to the camera, while Cloud just stood there, stone-faced, giving away a false narrative to the audience that he didn't give a crap about Mamori's show.
"Hello to all Microwave Idol Mamorin fans, it's a pleasure to be on this show!" exclaimed Link, while Cloud stared at his best friend in a very questionable manner. "Cloud and I will make the best stuff ever on this show, just you wait and see!"
"If the microwave in the kitchen blows up for any reason, then go ahead and blame this guy," Cloud addressed the audience, pointing at Link. He wasn't the kind of guy that would make great introductions or greetings.
Master Hand: We can't afford to lose anyone from Star Records, losing someone would disrupt the entire mojo of the record company. The last person I would want to lose is Asuka...I mean, look at all the fanservice she provides on Mamori's show! She's practically the reason why the show has millions of views online, nobody willingly wants to watch videos of some little girl microwaving crap for entertainment! Look how big Asuka's bust is compared to other ladies, all of whom with the exception of Bayonetta are flat-chested! A woman have a flat-chest and no boobs is like the male equivalent of a man with no muscle tone or definition! Girls like Zelda and Lucina, they could learn a thing or two from Asuka!
"But wait folks, we have one more guest, and he wields a blade just like Link and Cloud!" exclaimed Mamori, as Cloud suddenly grew nervous, praying that the third guest was Lloyd, Shulk, or any of the Fire Emblem dudes. "He hails from an alternate dimension, and he greatly values the power of friendship! Give it up for the Keyblade wielder, Sora!"
Ashley sounded the applause sound from her remote again, and Cloud looked disgusted as Sora entered the kitchen, wearing a red chef apron and hat. The Keyblade wielder would take his position next to Cloud, who now felt like Mamori was sabotaging her own show just by inviting Sora as a guest.
"Thanks for inviting me on your show, Mamori!" Sora thanked the young girl, who responded with a kind smile. "I've never really cooked anything before - maybe aside from the fish my friends and I caught on Destiny Island - but other than that, my cooking pedigree isn't the best..."
"That's okay, a majority of the guests on our show have never cooked before either," said Mamori, as Cloud moved several inches away from Sora. "However, that won't stop any of us from having a ton of fun! So Ashley, what are we gonna do today?"
"We're gonna have a food battle of sorts - Boys vs Girls," answered the young witch, trying to sound as enthusiastic as possible, as her assistant Red brought a spin-it prize wheel into the camera's focus. On this prize wheel were multiple food items, like hamburgers, hot dogs, mac n' cheese, and even hummus! "We'll be splitting into two teams - Mamori, Asuka, and I on one team, and Link, Cloud, and Sora on the other." Cloud and Sora, working together? That should be fun! "One person from both teams will spin the wheel, and whatever food item you land on is what you're making."
"Starting to like where this episode is heading..." grinned Link, flexing his fingers. The same couldn't be said for unfortunate Cloud. "Mind if I spin the wheel first for my team, Mamori?"
"Guests go first on our show, so go right ahead!" replied Mamori, as Link confidently marched to the wheel, and spun it with much aggression. The wheel kept spinning, and spinning, and spinning, until it finally landed on a food item...an item that made Link slightly disappointed.
"Ooh, a pizza...that's arguably a tough thing to make," remarked Asuka, having some sympathy for Link and company. "Let's see what us ladies have to make..." Link stepped to the side, as Asuka approached the prize wheel and spun it. The wheel spun right round, like a record, until it landed on...a grilled cheese sandwich. Now Link was feeling salty - making a pizza was a complicated task compared to making a measly grilled cheese sandwich.
"Well it looks like us girls are making a grilled cheese sandwich, and the men are stuck with making a pizza!" announced Mamori, as Ashley pressed a button on her remote that played the iconic The Price Is Right theme. Very fitting, what with the prize wheel. "We shall start our food battle very shortly - may the best team win!" Link was ticked because Mamori and company had an easy task ahead of themselves...and Cloud was ticked just because of a certain someone in the kitchen.
Link: This must've been rigged from the start...how are Cloud, Sora and I going to make some lousy pizza? What size does the pizza have to be, what toppings are necessary? And to make matters worse, Mamori and her friends have to make a freaking grilled cheese sandwich! We were slated to lose from the very start, just so the female hosts could win on their own show...No, I'm not taking the anti-feminist route, I'm not one of those people that blame feminism for everything. I'm just addressing the unfairness taking place on the show...that came of as anti-feminist, didn't it?
Kiria's search for Snake would receive a brief interruption, when Doc Louis brought the idol singer to Mario's home against her will. Kiria was sitting in Mario's living room, as Mario approached the idol singer, rubbing his hands together. Accompanying the plumber was Knuckles and Little Mac.
"Whatever you have planned for me better be worth the wait..." Kiria told Mario and company, as they entered the living room. "Regardless it doesn't matter, for you are intruding upon my time looking for my love, Solid Snake! He's so great at hiding...and that's why I love him so!" Kiria loves Snake because he's a stealth expert? Stealth wasn't exactly a quality you would look for in a romantic mate.
"Doc Louis, Little Mac, and-a Knuckles told me about their-a concerns regarding your romantic obsession with-a Snake..." Mario started things off, walking to the computer X and Zero installed for him and Peach last week. "...and given-a the details I was-a told, I think that TODAY is the day-a your obsession ends!" A now stunned Kiria looked at Mario, clutching her pearls - how could the plumber do such a thing to her, before she and Snake worked things out?!
"You, ending my interest in Snake?! Do you not know how long that man has been single? And now you wish for Snake to remain single forever, because you refuse to let me love him and show him how strong my love is? Mario, I thought you were better than this - you have absolutely no soul!"
"Maybe if you didn't stalk the guy, it would be easier for him to come around," murmured Knuckles, as Mario was pulling up a YouTube video on the computer. Even if Kiria stopped her stalking ways, Snake would never take a chance on the idol singer.
"The song you're about-a to hear should hope-a fully change your mind about loving Snake," said Mario, after pulling up the song. "It should-a change your ways, make you reconsider showing feelings-a for Snake. So here-a goes nothing..." So Mario pressed the play button, and the song started...
"ALL ABOARD, HAHAHAHAHAHA HAAAA!" Ozzy Osbourne's voice sounded, as his biggest hit "Crazy Train" played from the computer's loudspeakers. "AY, AY, AY, AY, AY, AY, AY..." Kiria, Litle Mac, and Knuckles were all confused - was a heavy metal song by Ozzy Osbourne supposed to make Kiria stop falling for Snake?
"Whoops, wrong-a song, sorry about that," Mario apologized as he returned to the computer and pulled up the right song. Lord knows how he pulled up an Ozzy Osbourne song out of the blue. "Okay, found-a the right song!" Mario hit the play button, as "Go Your Own Way" by Fleetwood Mac started playing. This was an instrumental version of the song, however. So...what about the lyrics?
"Loving Snake isn't the right thing to do..." sang Little Mac to Kiria, in a calming, almost hypnotizing manner. To say Kiria was disguised would be an understatement. "...how can you ever change things that you feel?"
"If you could maybe you'd give Snake your world..." sang Knuckles, and thank goodness his friends weren't present, otherwise they would pick on the poor echidna for weeks on end! "...how can you when he won't take it from you?"
"YOU CAN GO OUR OWN WAY, GO YOUR OWN WAY!" Little Mac and Knuckles were now singing the chorus in unison, singing louder than they were supposed to. "YOU CAN CALL IT ANOTHER LONELY DAY!" Mario was recording the duo singing on a digital camera, and for a good reason too.
Mario: Kiria needs to stop-a obsessing over Snake, Little Mac and Knuckles needs-a to record some video and upload-a it so they could beat-a Fox and Falco in their YouTube channel competition, so I'll-a be killing two birds with one-a stone and record-a Little Mac and Knuckles persuading Kiria to stop-a loving Snake...but how would-a killing two birds with one-a stone work? Would the birds have-a to be flying together? And how big-a should the stone be to kill-a two birds?
Little Mac and Knuckles would keep on singing, much to Kiria's annoyance, until the song aprubtly stopped playing. Mario looked towards his computer, and saw that it was glitching; the plumber quickly stopped recording and placed the digital camera on a living room table as he ran to the computer to see what was going on.
"Um, you guys figure out what's wrong with that computer...I'll just leave you be..." Kiria said to Mario and company, who were now trying to fix the computer, as the idol singer slowly got up and walked out of the house, making sure to the close the front door quietly as possible. Time to resume searching for Snake!
"What gives, why is your computer acting funny all of a sudden?" Knuckles questioned Mario, as the computer continued glitching. Random dialog boxes were popping up all over the screen, and Mario couldn't exit out of any of them. "I think you made a terrible mistake having X and Zero program your computer, might've done some sneaky stuff when you weren't around!"
"X and Zero are-a respectful robots, they would never dare-a to corrupt my own-a computer for what-a ever reason," replied Mario, as the glitching intensified, making the plumber more frustrated. Only a robot could solve a problem like this. "Can one-a of you boys get one of-a the robots from the mansion to come-a here?"
While Mario, Little Mac, and Knuckles were trying to figure out what was wrong with Mario's computer, the Black Knight was enjoying a tea party with three guests - Bayonetta, Geno, and Kohaku. Also present at the tea party was Rotom, whom Kohaku asked Luigi and Daisy for permission to bring to the party.
"I greatly appreciate this shoulder massage Rotom - even if your hands are entirely made out of plasma!" Kohaku smiled, as the plasma Pokemon was rubbing the girl's shoulders, while the Black Knight was fixing himself a cup of tea."If only my brother was as nice and easygoing as you are..."
"Hisui is but a young adult, so he has a gaudy amount of time to do a complete 180 and change his ways, zzrt!" replied Rotom, its smile intact, while Geno and Bayonetta looked at Kohaku and exchanged questionable looks with one another. Kohaku had fallen in love with Rotom ever since episode 60, and several residents found the young girl's romantic fascination with a Pokemon to be a little...disconcerting.
"To think Hisui is fine with his little sister being in love with a genderless Pokemon..." Bayonetta whispered to Geno, as Kohaku was drinking her tea in peace. "Some big brother figure he's supposed to be..."
"Kohaku hardly ever sees any form of wrong in anything - in fact, she thinks there's nothing wrong with Toon Link and Young Link being buddy cops, although they kinda suck at their jobs," replied Geno - bonus points of Geno said the latter remark to the buddy cops' faces. "Like that one time when they tried to arrest Mr. Game and Watch just for entering a bathroom with a newspaper roll in hand! Everyone thought it was ridiculous, except for Kohaku! Thought the Links were keeping everyone safe...because we ALL know how scary Mr. Game and Watch is when he has a roll of newspaper in hand, amirite?"
"Well, that's what Mr. Game and Watch gets for...being black. It's not like he can help it." Ooh...well played, Bayonetta, well played.
Toon Link: Tons of people have given us flak for arresting Mr. Game and Watch, claiming that he was "innocent" and that "he was doing no wrong"...but we knew better than those dummies.
Young Link: For all we know, Mr. Game and Watch could have concealed a small, yet deadly bomb in that roll of newspaper, a bomb destructive enough to blow up the mansion into pieces! We would have investigated the roll of newspaper to see if our suspicions were true, but it wasn't worth detonating it by accident at the cost of around a hundred lives. So we just gave it to Master Hand, and told him to throw it into Subspace, where it belonged. Nice try, wannabe terrorist Mr. Game and Watch... *dons sunglasses* ...better luck next time.
The tea party continued, and everything was going swell...until Fox showed up, wearing some suit like he was a spy working for the government. The pilot, wearing some shades, was on the phone, keeping a close eye on the Black Knight and company.
"Got my eyes on the suspects..." Fox said to whoever was on the phone, while the tea party folk just looked on. "One suspect is wearing some extravagant black armor, like he's ready to go to some Lord of the Rings convention...the other suspect looks like some puppet, and there's no strings attached to him, makes him look even more suspicious..."
"Fox is something the matter, why are you all dressed up?" the Black Knight asked the pilot, who briefly looked at the armored knight before ignoring him completely. The pilot certainly looked like he was in a very busy mood; he had no time to entertain any questions from the "suspects".
"We also have two female suspects...one suspect has black hair, and large blue eyes, wearing white clothing...the other female suspect is wearing a sultry black bodysuit, has black hair, and also wears glasses...looks like a slut to me. Might even be a pole dancer, for all we know..."
"Was that supposed to be some kind of insult?!" frowned Bayonetta, as she angrily stood up, only for Kohaku to calmly sit the Umbra Witch back down. "You're gonna get what's coming to you, fox boy!" Fox would ignore Bayonetta, continuing on with his phone call.
"Yes, I do believe these four suspects are all working under the Venomian Army...I think we've been compromised, I need you to take the shot! I repeat, I need you to take the shot, right now!" Fox quickly moved out of the way, as red dots were all over Black Knight and company. The tea party folk, with the threat of assassination looming over them...did nothing, as they pressed on with the tea party. Almost seemed like they were comfortable with dying!
"Really bruh, that's how y'all are gonna be?!" frowned Falco, appearing out from his hiding spot holding a laser point rifle, letting the Black Knight and company feel his and Fox's anger. "What if a situation like this went down, and it was legit, and y'all were falsely accused culprits? 'Ooh, look, red dots all over our bodies, someone's gonna shoot us! Let's act like nothing is going on and allow ourselves to be killed because we're STUPID IDIOTS!'"
"The stupid idiots that I see are you and Fox, for thinking that some dumb prank with laser guns and some phone call and Fox dressed up as a government spy would do so well," remarked the Black Knight, pouring some tea for Rotom even though the plasma Pokemon couldn't even drink tea. "So how about you take your stupid pranks elsewhere, and leave us be?"
"Let's just go Falco - obviously these fools don't comprehend of the meaning of fun or know how to take a joke," said Fox, as he and Falco walked away from the tea party, their salt levels rising. "Then again, who has fun at some lame tea party anyway..." Fox and Falco, once away from the tea part, approached Snake, who recorded the failed prank from afar on a camera, lying on the floor next to his cardboard box. "Thanks for letting us borrow your rifle," Fox thanked the former spy.
"No problem boys - just don't tell Kiria about my whereabouts," replied Snake, as Falco handed him the laser point rifle, and the former spy handed Fox the camera. Once Fox and Falco walked away, and the coast was clear, Snake retreated to his cardboard box, hiding underneath it.
Snake: *underneath his cardboard box* Go away, I don't want to entertain any questions...what if Kiria sees you near the cardboard box, and gets the idea that I'm hiding underneath it?...People in this mansion actually miss me, they miss my presence? Don't tell them I'm still around, make them think I'm dead or something! Some guys are more appreciated after their death, so, when I "come back to life", everyone will start appreciating me more...hopefully in a non-romantic way.
Fox and Falco walked through the hallways, looking for someone else to prank, when they encountered Sonic, Crash, and Aku chilling out. Sonic and Crash were eating chili dogs...wait, was Sonic forcing his new best friend to like chili dogs? Granted, his friendship with the bandicoot was growing, but just because he liked something didn't mean that Crash had to like it too...
"Trust me Crash, you're gonna fall in love with these chili dogs - they're practically better than those so-called 'Wumpa Fruit' that Aku keeps raving about," Sonic said to the bandicoot, who was chowing down on a chili dog, before looking up at Fox and Falco. "Oh, hey Fox and Falco! Watcha doing? Why are you all dressed up Fox, going on a date with Krystal?"
"Falco and I are spending our entire day pranking others - it's a part of our YouTube channel," explained Fox, not caring to go into the details about the competition involving Little Mac and Knuckles...and Pit and Kirby, if they were even allowed to join. "We tried to pull off this sniper prank at the Black Knight's tea party, but unfortunately for us, the Black Knight and his guests were fun-intolerant..."
"Fun-intolerant? Sheesh, those are the worst kind of people around..." Just then, something snapped inside Sonic's head...and it wasn't good. "So, since you two are pranking and all...how about you pull a prank on Tails?"
"Why would we want to prank your best friend for?" asked Falco - the way he and Fox were seeing it, it was like Sonic wished to sever his friendship with Tails. But as you might recall earlier in this episode, Sonic told Tails that their friendship was over.
"Tails really isn't my friend anymore, for he kept a secret away from me...a secret about his undisclosed romance with Coco Bandicoot!" Fox and Falco simultaneously gasped, while Aku just shook his head. "Yes, my own friend, Tails, leaving me in the dark as he pressed on with his dark secret...of love! Relationships aren't something worth keeping a secret about! What if Tails needed relationship advice? Well, if he needs any advice, he better not come to me!"
"Dang Sonic, I feel bad for you, I know what it's like to have a best friend keep a secret from you..." said Fox, stroking his fur. "...if that were to happen to me in the first place. But no worries, my man, for we're gonna make Tails pay!" Aku would talk Fox and Falco out of the prank, but what was the point...?
Pit and Kirby were still playing games, playing on the NES this time around, and they were playing with Flora and Felicia, as suggested by Dark Pit. Pit, wanting to introduce the two maids to the sport of the American football - especially with football season fastly approaching - challenged Flora to a duel...a game of Tecmo Bowl. At first, Flora was nervous, and seriously doubted her chances at winning, but thanks to a pep talk from Dark Pit, the maid was feeling more confident...well, only a little bit.
"Um, Flora, not sure if you know this, but...you can snap the ball already," Pit said to Flora, her hands shaking as she looked at the television screen. The controller was in her hands, but the maid was too afraid to even snap the ball! The fear of failure was looming over her, and it was making Pit quite bored. "Look Flora, if you don't want to play against me, then I understand - I might be too good for you anyways." Pit's NBA Live duel with Kirby notwithstanding. "You could let your sister play for you, if you like!"
"No thanks Pit, I think Flora's got this," smiled Felicia, patting her sister on the shoulder. But Flora didn't get it, she was scared to the bone. She definitely didn't want to embarrass herself...especially if her opponent was Pit. Losing to Pit at video games would be like losing in blackjack to a toddler!
Dark Pit: Got a lot of faith in Flora's abilities, I think she will do absolutely well. I've been preparing Flora by playing games with her in the arcade room, and thanks to me, she's now a Pac-Man champion! *pauses* ...took her forever to realize Pac-Man wasn't the bad guy in his OWN game, but having a great teacher (like myself) can show you the way.
"Hey you guys, look what I brought!" exclaimed Dark Pit as he entered the living room, holding a box of pizza. The moment he saw Flora frozen, visibly afraid, he placed the pizza box on a nearby table and rushed over to the maid. "Yo, Flora, what are you doing, why aren't you doing anything?" Dark Pit asked the maid.
"I-I don't want to mess things up...what if I snap the ball, and something bad happens?" fretted Flora; she oughta be glad there were no delay of game penalties in Tecmo Bowl otherwise she would be penalized hard. "What if I lose the ball, and allow the other team to retrieve it? What if I hardly get the ball at all during the game...?"
"Flora, you're playing against Pit, you have nothing to worry about - last time I played against Pit in this game, I put up so many points against the guy, that I nearly broke the game! Pit turned the ball over like he was giving out Christmas presents...if I can beat him, then certainly you can!" However, Flora still remained lacking in confidence, solemnly looking down at the floor, and Dark Pit heaved a heavy sigh. "...I can play for you if you want."
"Ooh, that would be really great, thank you very much, Dark Pit!" a suddenly lively Flora thanked the doppelganger, handing him the NES controller. Dark Pit sighed yet again, accepting the controller from Flora, as Kirby inspected the pizza box Dark Pit had brought in.
"Don't mind if I ask, Dark Pit...but aren't we supposed to have pizza tonight?" inquired the pink puffball, feeling tempted to eat a slice of the pepperoni pizza Dark Pit had brought. "Where on earth did you find this pizza?"
Dark Pit happened to find the box of pizza in the living room, where there were other boxes of pizza present. The person responsible for bringing these boxes was pizza-delivery-man-for-a-day Cortex...fast asleep on the couch in the foyer, his cap over his face. Zelda and Midna approached the sleeping scientist, but they didn't come for him...because honestly who would? They came for the boxes of pizza instead, as Midna grabbed a box. Zelda lifted up the cap on Cortex's face, and saw the mad scientist sleeping away.
"That man will do anything to get inside the mansion..." Zelda had this to say about Cortex, who was now drooling over the couch. He may not be allowed in the mansion, but at least he'll have something for the residents to remember him by. "Also, are you sure about this, Midna, wouldn't this constitute as cheating?"
"It's not cheating unless the person gets caught, otherwise it's fair game," remarked Midna, grabbing Zelda's hand and taking her to the kitchen. "Link and his friends could really use our help anyways!"
Link and company really did need some help, in their food battle against Mamori and the girls. They were in the kitchen, making a pizza, and following their hard work, they were finished with their pizza...which didn't look like pizza at all. Resembled more like a funnel cake draped in tomato sauce and cheese than an actual pizza.
"Don't know about you guys, but this might very well be the greatest pizza I've ever seen!" exclaimed Sora, as Link and Cloud gave the brunette judging looks. Clearly Sora never had pizza before - but that will all change tonight.
"Mamori can't possibly see this, she'll probably judge us forever," said Cloud. The "pizza" would have to be microwaved later, because of the use of microwaves on the show, but that wouldn't make a big difference either way. "We can just tell her that we forfeit, and then..."
"Psst, Link, over here!" Zelda whispered to the Hylian from the kitchen entrance, with Midna holding the box of pizza. Link walked over to the princess, and Midna showed the Hylian the pizza, and gave the pizza box to Link. The pizza looked small enough to fit inside a microwave...so it was passable.
Link: Like Midna once told me before, it's not cheating unless the person gets caught. Worked pretty well for Lance Armstrong...for a while.
"Thanks a bunch you two, Mamori will never notice a thing," Link would thank Zelda and Midna as he returned to Cloud and Sora, who were feeling cynical about their chances of winning. Posing with a legit-looking pizza might do them in. "...like I told Zelda and Midna, Mamori will never notice a thing." Link assured his friends.
Tails and Coco were still working on the Holo Caster, and they were making little progress - but it was slow and steady progress, and progress nonetheless. Coco was working on the communication device until her work was interrupted by a text sent to her cellphone.
"Excuse me for a sec Tails, lemme see what this text is all about..." said Coco, as she checked her cellphone; for security and convenience measures, Master Hand had Coco receive contact information from every person in the mansion with a cellular device. "Oh, it's just a text from Sonic, and he sent me a...very unflattering picture."
"Let me take a look at it..." said Tails, as Coco showed him the image; the yellow fox would find himself cringing at a picture of him and Cream, making about profusely with a background of hearts in the background. "What in the heck? Why would Sonic send that picture to you? And when did he make the picture in the first place? This is what I get for introducing the guy to Photoshop..."
Then Sonic sent another picture to Coco's cellphone, and it was another photoshopped picture, this one with Tails and Cream cuddling and making out...on a bed, with Big the Cat in the background playing a saxophone. Coco showed this image to Tails, who looked at said image with his brow furrowing.
"This is completely getting out of hand, I need some answers..." remarked Tails...before a camera lens peeking through the doorway of the workshop caught the corner of his eye. The fox angrily got up and marched towards the workshop door, opening it and seeing Fox and Falco recording on a camera. Seated next to the door was Sonic, on his cellphone. "Okay you guys, what's the meaning of this?!" asked an angry Tails, the angriest he has ever been.
"Dude, Tails, you and Coco had perhaps the worst reaction to any breakup prank I've ever seen," remarked Fox, and that got Tails even more angry. Breakup prank, involving him AND Coco? That had Sonic's name written all over it.
"Sonic were you responsible for the prank, did you send those pictures to Coco? Why'd you do it for?" Sonic was looking around for Crash to bail him out, but the bandicoot wasn't present...he was too busy indulging himself with chili dogs.
"Because...because I was still bitter about you keeping your secret relationship with Coco away from me," was Sonic's reply - a reply Tails didn't even understand. It was all in the blue blur's head.
"Sonic, I was never in a relationship with Coco - sure we may be smart, and we have a lot of things in common, but that doesn't mean I would be in love with her! We'e just best friends, nothing more and nothing else!"
"Yeah, sure man, keep telling me the stuff you want me to believe..." Sonic got up, facing his "former" best friend Tails. "I thought you were better than this...I always thought you were one of the most honest and trustworthy dudes around. But I see now that it was all a lie...a lie you want me and many others to believe."
"Chill out Sonic, you're blowing this whole thing out of proportion...you think that if I were to be in a relationship with Coco, I would go on a date or something, or hang out somewhere other than the workshop, like I don't know, the lounge?"
"There's more to love than just going out on dates, you know...but as far as I'm concerned, you're just a rookie, and I'm a pro. So if you need my help...then you better come crying your eyes out to someone else! No romantic pointers from me!"
An exasperated Tails watched as Sonic bitterly walked away, looking down at the floor. The Sonic-Tails friendship had seemingly reached a snag; it was a kind of friendship that didn't deserve to be severed in any way.
Fox: *sighs* Another failed prank...guess Falco and I are falling behind in this YouTube competition. Nobody would be interested in watching failed pranks, unless the prankster gets beats up or shot at.
"Welcome back everyone, to part two of our exciting episode of Microwave Idol Mamorin!" said Mamori, gathered with Ashley and Asuka in the dining room. Link, Cloud, and Sora were also present. "Our food battle is now over, and it's time for our creations to be judged! And who better to judge our creations than the king of Dream Land himself, King Dedede?" The fat penguin was seated in his chair, waving to the camera as Ashley cued the applause sound from her remote.
"My overly spacious tummy is ready for the awesome food you're gonna feed me!" exclaimed King Dedede, excitedly rubbing his hands together. "Food better be good, otherwise I'm never appearing on this show again..." That wouldn't be the case today.
"Yeah, sure...first up, our wonderful grilled cheese sandwich!" said Asuka, placing a plate with a grilled cheese sandwich on it at King Dedede. It was cheesy, gooey, and everything else you would expect from a grilled cheese sandwich. King Dedede picked up the sandwich, and took a bite out of it...before eating the entire thing, and smiling afterwards. Typical Dedede.
"Oh yes, this grilled cheese sandwich, it's so perfect..the cheese is delicious, melted to perfection, and compliments the bread well...five stars!" Why have King Dedede as a judge, he would rate anything five stars!
"Now it is time for the boys to give Dedede their creation...an absolutely flawless pizza!" exclaimed Mamori, as she was taken back by the pizza Link was holding in his hands. Link was about to place the pizza on the table, but King Dedede, eyeing the cheesy flatbread like it was rare, expensive jewelry, sucked up the pizza, chewed it, and swallowed it...and fell in love.
"This pizza, it tastes so good...the sauce is exquisite and spicy, and the pepperoni is delicious, and the cheese is seriously on point! It tastes...it tastes...it tastes like a pizza from the pizzeria Samus orders from..." King Dedede frowned, as Link and company got nervous...
"Hey Ashley, look what I found - a pizza box!" Ashley's assistant Red interrupted Microwave Idol Mamorin, standing at the dining room entrance holding a pizza box. "Which means that the three guys didn't make their own pizza, or their pizza was awful and they ordered pizza themselves!" Mamori and the girls glared at Link and company, with Link having some explaining to do...
"It's not cheating unless someone gets caught...forgive and forget, amirite?" grinned Link, but his grin didn't save him from the uncompromising position he was now finding himself in. Even Cloud and Sora were glaring at the Hylian, for ruining their chances at winning!
Midna: Whoops, forgot to hide the evidence...but Link should have done that anyways. He was responsible for the pizza, not me!
"Ladies and gentlemen, it appears that Link, Cloud, and Sora...cheated," announced Mamori, mustering up the courage to say the last word. "...which means that Ashley, Asuka, and I won! Congratulations to the three of us!" Ashley sounded The Price Is Right theme song from her remote yet again, as Link and company basked in their defeat. Should have just went with their makeshift pizza instead.
"While we're here, aren't we supposed to have pizza tonight for dinner?" inquired King Dedede, now wishing he had another pizza to devour in one gulp. His hunger knew no boundaries.
Cortex was still asleep in the foyer, and the pizza was getting cold. The mad scientist still had yet to be paid, and that would change when Lucario returned to the foyer with Jacky, who would be paying Cortex.
"You and Akira really need to stop getting suck in the elevator, rescuing you two is becoming tiresome," Lucario would say to the racer, who stopped in his track when he saw Cortex sleeping away. "Something wrong, Jacky?"
"Why is the pizza delivery guy sleeping in the foyer?" questioned Jacky, taking a step closer to Cortex...before taking off the cap and seeing the giant N. Cortex suddenly woke up, seeing Lucario and Jacky glaring at him. Busted!
"Huh, where am I, how long was I asleep?" asked Cortex, with Lucario and Jacky still glaring at him, not answering. "Did Crash Bandicoot pass by? Don't tell me he walked by, and I missed my opportunity to destroy him!" Lucario and Jacky still didn't answer, their glares intensifying as Cortex grew afraid. "Oh poop..."
Layton and Luke returned from their trip to Dr. Light's laboratory, and although they didn't find any evidence of Team Flare there, they still were confident that more evdience would be abound in the future. As soon as the detectives arrived at the Smash Mansion, they witnessed Cortex being flung out of the mansion's front door, landing on the ground and writhing in pain. Uka, hiding conspicuously, looked from afar, not surprised that Cortex had failed yet again.
"Hmm, didn't know today was garbage day...the more you know," smiled Layton, making a lowkey jab at Cortex, as he and Luke stepped over the mad scientist on their way to the mansion. Another day, another failure for Dr. Neo Cortex...
Dark Pit completely whooped Pit's behind in Tecmo Bowl, hanging a jaw-dropping 154 points on the angel. The doppelganger was playing for Flora, who apparently had zero faith in herself beating Pit. If you doubt yourself against Pit in anything, then you know you got serious confidence issues.
"Another awesome performance by yours truly," Dark Pit cockily smirked, dropping his NES controller to the floor like he was doing a mic drop. Mic drops were apparently against rap battling rules, according to Judd. "I would apologize for humiliating you Pit, but at this point it's like clockwork for me..."
"Oh, thank you so much Dark Pit, I knew you could get the job done!" Flora thanked the doppelganger, proceeding to give him a kiss on his cheek. Dark Pit's eyes widened, as he formed a smile on his face. "Watching you play has taught me a lot...I shouldn't have doubted myself in the first place, I should take things head-on and quit worrying all the time. So thank you, Dark Pit, for showing me the way!"
Dark Pit didn't respond, as he made some unintelligible sound before fainting to the floor. Flora and Felicia looked on...and so did Jakob, who had witnessed Flora kissing Dark Pit from afar.
Jakob: The others were right, Dark Pit and Flora were secretly an item... *smirks* ...I'll just have to keep a close eye out on those two lovebirds.
"Nice game, Dark Pit - maybe next time we play Tecmo Bowl, I'll try and throw less picks, won't throw the ball into coverage that much," Pit said to the doppelganger, who was still out cold. Yeah, throwing less interceptions would help a lot. Pit walked over to the digital camera on a camera stand, a camera he used to record the videos of him being whooped by Kirby and Dark Pit in video games...before noticing something was wrong. "Shoot, I had the lens cap on the camera lens this whole time! That means we didn't record a single thing!"
"Pit I told you to take that lens cap off, yet you refused to listen, as always..." facepalmed Kirby, shaking his head, before taking the camera stand down and putting the camera and other equipment away. "But the competition is still young, we have until next week to win the whole shabang. You up for some Mario Party tomorrow?"
"Actually Kirby, I had something else in mind that I've gave some consideration in doing..." answered Pit, stroking his chin, as he took a look at Dark Pit, still out cold. Whatever Pit had in mind had nothing to do with video games...but had the potential to be something greater.
Proto Man the silent edgelord and R.O.B. were at Mario's home, trying to figure out what was up with the home computer. Mario and Peach looked on, while Little Mac and Knuckles were in the living room, recording themselves rap battling one another.
"Yup, this computer looks like it contracted some sort of virus..." remarked Proto Man, after the efforts to solve the issue were useless. "But this is a virus that I've never seen before - never seen any computer device cut up like this!"
"Please don't tell us our home computer is kaput - X and Zero worked so hard on it a week ago!" fretted Peach, acting like an apocalypse was coming and fixing the computer would prevent said apocalypse from transpiring. Without the home computer, how would the princess be able to catch up on the latest episodes of Game of Thrones?
"Peach, I'd love to say no...but this is something else right here." Proto Man looked towards R.O.B., needing some sort of last-minute miracle. "Got any bright ideas that could be of use, R.O.B?"
"TRY HOOKING ME UP TO THE COMPUTER...I COULD DIAGNOSE THE PROBLEM THAT WAY..." answered the robot, and so Proto Man took a cord from the computer, and hooked it up to R.O.B., taking forever to find an outlet. Once R.O.B. was hooked up to the computer, something strange happened...
...the robot started spazzing out, its eyes blinking and turning colors, as it fell to the floor, vibrating violently and making malfunctioning noises. Mario, Peach, and Proto Man looked on with fear, and Little Mac and Knuckles had to stop rap battling just to see what was going on. R.O.B., after a minute, stopped spazzing, and its eyes turned a deathly red, as an evil robotic voice was emitted from the robot:
"YOUR TIME IS COMING SOON - YOU SHALL PAY THE ULTIMATE PRICE. DEATH WILL BE PLENTIFUL, RESCUE WILL BE OBSOLETE. NOTHING WILL SAVE YOU, YOU CAN ONLY HOPE AND PRAY THAT YOUR DEMISE WILL BE SWIFT, AND WITHOUT PAIN. BE WARNED, FOR YOUR DAYS ARE QUICKLY NUMBERING..."
A sense of fear enveloped the entire home, as R.O.B. returned to normal, the deadly red eyes fading away. The disc tray from the computer suddenly opened; Mario walked over to said disc tray, and found a disc, taking it out and inspecting it. Nothing was on it; it was just a plain, harmless disc that corrupted a computer. And speaking of which, the computer was back to normal...the background and desktop icons were present on the monitor.
"Some-a one's definitely on-a to us..." remarked Mario, furrowing his brow, as he looked at the disc in his hand...the very disc Jakob inserted into the computer in the previous chapter.
Although Mario and company didn't know yet, Jakob was quietly stirring up trouble...and oodles of it, too.