Author's Note:
Three reviews to answer...tres reseñas para contestar.
"Can you add the characters from The Last Story and Pandora's Tower? Are Noctis and Lightning going to be a couple? (Since Final Fantasy XV was originally called Final Fantasy:Versus XIII) A small scene of Wingul from Tales of Xillia being attacked by Wingulls? A Crash Team Racing or Crash Nitro Kart chapter? Will the events of Resident Evil VII be mentioned? And finally will Gaius and Muzet's appearance be based on their Tales of Xillia or Tales of Xillia 2 look?"
Characters from The Last Story and Pandora's Tower may be included. Might do a scene with Wingul and the Wingulls. (Hehehe...) Not sure about a Crash racing chapter. Resident Evil VII might be mentioned. Gaius and Muzet will have their appearances based on Tales of Xillia 2, since it's more recent. And Noctis and Lightning being a couple? Ah, the possibilities...moving on to Derick Lindsey:
"Quick question: will we be getting any more clues next chapter about the wedding explosion and what Team Flare and presumably Jakob have anything to do with it? Oh and maybe have a chapter where someone thinks that Toad is a drug lord and follows him around trying to catch him in the act (whether he is an actual drug lord or not is up to you)."
I'll be setting things up in this chapter where they'll be more clues in the following chapter. Toad being a drug lord shall also be explored - had that running gag going on since chapter 16, so it's time I actually incorporate it into an actual plot. Let's see what J300 has to say...
1. Could you do some sort of jumanji-esque chapter where Jakob has Sora clean out the mansion's basement (which cooincidentially links to Master Hand's closet).
2. Do you think we can see Infinite in the very-distant-next year future? Also, could we see a Rabbid invasion, to celebrate Mario Rabbids?
1. Ah, Jumanji! Perhaps I could work a chapter like that very soon.
2. Infinite will appear around the time of Sonic Forces later this year. And I might have to rule out a Rabbid invasion, sadly.
Episode 88: Gossip
Given how many people resided within the Smash Mansion, there was bound to be plenty of gossip to be spread about. Gossip was a very dangerous thing - false stories made up about someone that could damage one's reputation, depending on how big the gossip is.
This idle talk known as gossip was present everywhere - at the workplace, at schools, and especially on social media - and the Smash Mansion was no exception to this vile form of communication. Gossip could wreck personal lives, and bully others into doing your bidding.
And as amazing as it would sound, the Smash Mansion was hardly ever wrecked by this epidemic known as gossip - sure, there have been other cases in the past, but those were minimal. Today, however, would be the first time the Smash Mansion would be ravaged by gossip, and it all started when three familiar faces visited the mansion...Rayman, Barbara, and Globox.
Now why was the Rayman trio visiting, you might ask? Well, it was because that they honestly had nothing else better to do, other than sleeping all day long, not giving a single care about the world. Also, this was the first time the trio had been to the mansion ever since last year's Christmas party, so it wouldn't hurt to see how much has changed at the mansion since December.
"Here you are, Rayman and friends, a lovely dish of Wumpa Fruit Souffle!" exclaimed Cilan, as he placed a large dish of the souffle near Rayman and company at the dining room. The souffle sure looked delectable - it was enough to make Globox drool all over the table. "Contains Wumpa fruit, native to Crash's home island! Crash had stuffed the food in his pants, so it took me pretty long to sanitize all the fruit."
"Globox could eat this souffle in one giant gulp!" bragged Globox, the blue amphibian, as Cilan cleaned off the drool on the table. Globox was still speaking in third-person...some things may never change. "You two can get your own souffle!"
"Chill out Globox, this souffle was made for all of us," stated Rayman, inspecting the Wumpa fruit in the souffle; the limbless hero felt salty that Crash got an invite to the Smash Mansion over him, but once he got to know the bandicoot better, he felt more content. "You wouldn't want Cilan to ask Crash for another batch of Wumpa fruit, would you? Ever heard of a thing called sharing?"
"Who really cares about sharing, let's dig in!" grinned Barbara, as she grabbed her spoon and dug into the souffle. Rayman and Globox, not wanting Barbara to get too far ahead, started eating the souffle at breakneck speed, as Cilan looked on with a smile.
Cilan: Think I've made a great decision staying at the mansion...I mean, why would I leave the mansion in the first place? The residents are all caring folk, whether they want to admit it or not, and I have the freedom to cook whatever I want, when I want, without any apprehension from Master Hand! Surely Chili and Cress are handling themselves just fine at the Striaton City Gym - haven't heard a peep about the gym being burned down or destroyed, so that's a positive from me!
Spying on Rayman and company through the kitchen entrance was Mario, the plumber eating from a bag of popcorn as he watched Rayman and friends devour the Wumpa Fruit Souffle. Mario, who could be at house doing, you know, spend time with Peach, playing catch with Poochy, or maybe even figure out the culprit responsible for harming his computer (*cough* Jakob *cough*), was instead at the mansion spying on innocent Rayman. He was apparently doing this for one reason, and one reason only...
"Mario, why on earth are you spying on Rayman, can't you just let the man and his friends enjoy their day at the mansion in peace?" Link asked the plumber, who jumped out of freight and clutched his chest when spoken to. The plumber was breathing heavily, having been scared by Link; imagine if Midna had scared him instead!
"I'm not 'spying' on-a Rayman, I'm just observing him-a and his friends from a far-a distance," clarified Mario, as Link had a skeptical look on his face. "I'm just-a looking out for their safety, don't want them to-a be hurt during their visit..."
"Been there, done that - tried the 'observing' excuse on Cloud before and it didn't work, so it won't work on me. Bet you're seeing if Rayman and Barbara are a legit couple, don't try and hide it!" Mario bit his lip, and looked nervous, as Link had his finger pointed at him. The plumber would give out another excuse for his behavior, but he was left with no other choice but to come clean.
"Fine, I admit it, I'm-a spying on Rayman and-a Barbara..." Mario finally fessed up; Link, proud of Mario for owning up to his shenanigans, folded his arms and smirked at the plumber. "But I'm doing it for-a certain reasons - I'm seeing how they have-a progressed since...since...since they kissed-a under the mistletoe at the Christmas party! Yeah, that's why I'm spying on-a them!"
"So basically your only means of spying on Rayman and Barbara is because they kissed under the mistletoe, just like any other two people would. In that case, you should start spying on Diddy Kong and Bayonetta, since Bayonetta kissed Diddy on the cheek under the mistletoe. For all we know, Bayonetta could be cheating on Luka with some spidermonkey, so maybe you could do some 'investigative' work on her." Mario had nothing to say after that; Link really put the plumber in his place. "Just leave Rayman and Barbara alone - if you keep this up, you'll be just like Sonic! And speaking of Sonic, the dude has been going AWOL ever since he 'unfriended' Tails over some make-believe relationship with Coco. Might wanna check it out for yourself..."
"On a scale from-a one to ten, how-a bad is it? Usually when Sonic is-a going AWOL, it's just-a Sonic being Sonic, and that-a could be the case."
"I'd probably say it's an eight or a nine, but I'll let you take a look for yourself. Depending on Sonic's level of temperament, we might have to send in Amy and talk to her man. That's the last thing we would want, especially if Amy was never informed about this whole Tails-Coco hullabaloo."
Link would draw Mario away from the kitchen, as he took him to Sonic's room. After the Hylian and the plumber left, Jakob would show up moments later, seemingly eavesdropping on the entire conversation between Link and Mario. The butler looked through the kitchen entrance, and saw Rayman and company in the dining room, having finished the Wumpa Fruit Souffle.
Jakob: Apparently Mario is convinced that Rayman and Barbara are an item, and for reasons that I cannot understand. Perhaps I should do some digging and find out if the two are indeed an actual couple, and share this information with Mario, so he will no longer be that creepy stalker that spies on random couples unseen. It will not only be for Mario's benefit...but for my benefit as well. *smiles intently*
Prior to moving out of the mansion, Peach was the number one person Master Hand could count on to get the laundry done, especially on time. She was like the head honcho of laundry, in most regards. But with the princess now living on her own with her adoring husband Mario, Master Hand was left with no other choice but to find a suitable replacement. The giant hand would find not one, but two candidates to replace Peach, in Rosalina and Chrom; Chrom only got the laundry role because of his daughter Lucina, telling stories about how he was held responsible for cleaning women's garments with Sumia during the war against Plegia, and these stories were heard by Master Hand's ever-attentive and yet nonexistent ear. Because of this, Chrom sternly told Lucina to never tell a single soul another unflattering story about him ever again...but Lucina went against her father's wishes regardless.
"Lucina once spoke of this time when Sumia forced you to eat her elderberry pie, simply because you thought elderberries were disgusting," Rosalina said to Chrom, striking up a conversation with the prince of Yliesse, as the washing machines and drying machines were doing their thing. Chrom frowned, as some bad memories were forming inside his head. Memories including the very taste of the elderberry pie he despised oh so much.
"It was only because I didn't want any of her rhubarb pie - she kept offering that pie like there was nothing else to eat," explained Chrom, brushing back his blue hair. "Also, I told Lucina good and well not to tell a single story from the war of Plegia ever again...when and where did you hear this story from?"
"It was before Master Hand bestowed upon you the laundry duties, mind you - I think it was at Luigi's wedding, at the after party. Or it could have been before the wedding began. Either or." It was worth noting that Chrom was the officiant for Luigi's wedding, the most visible wedding official - Chrom facepalmed and shook his head, as Dark Pit entered the laundry room. "Hello Dark Pit - I take it that you're looking for someone?" Rosalina asked the doppelganger.
"Yup, sure am, I'm looking for Flora - her break is supposed to start around this time, and I want to spend some time with her before she resumes her work," stated Dark Pit, who has been bonding with Flora over the course of the two previous episodes. "I was thinking that maybe we could...you know...do stuff together. Flora's very limited when it comes to trying out certain things, in case you haven't noticed..."
"Do stuff together...how very specific..." remarked Chrom, who was no longer facepalming. The bad memories of that elderberry taste must've left the swordsman's head by now. "I would recommend looking in the gaming room, Flora could be waiting for you there."
"Good thinking Chrom. She'll either be in there, or at the lounge. Both are her favorite destinations for leisure." So Dark Pit ran out of the laundry room, and to the gaming room, but the doppelganger wouldn't get that far when he came across an obstacle, standing across from him in the hallway, sporting an all-black attire with Kirby accompanying him and a drone flying over his head...
Dark Pit found himself standing across from Pit, who apparently was still "broken", as evidence by the strange white streak in his hair, not to mention the scowl on his face. It was like Pit was trying to be some sort of villain from some British horror story, in spite of having a pink puffball in Kirby, a flying drone named Vanguard 1, and the first president of the United States George Washington, apparently a Girafarig, as his closet accomplices.
"Brother Kuro...I'd knew you come," snarled Pit, as a non-intimidated Dark Pit rolled his eyes. Pit and Kirby may have lost the YouTube competition, despite not being in said competition in the first place, but that didn't stop them from engaging with Dark Pit further.
Pit: Broken brilliance is very present in this Mansion of Smash, and it's ruling this establishment with an iron fist! My plans of DELETING Brother Kuro was all but dashed last week, and to make matters worse, I lost King Charles, one of my closet confidants! When I tried to seek retribution, I was stopped by the goddess of light, Lady Palutena, who dared to "ground" me simply because I wished to DELETE Brother Kuro! So I threatened to DELETE Palutena from existence, and she threatened to punish me further! But Lady Palutena is but a lousy peon who's way underneath me, for she cannot handle the power of my broken BRILLIANCE! *laughs manically*
"Dude why do you keep doing this to yourself, I thought Lady Palutena grounded you for trying to kill me!" frowned Dark Pit, but Pit chose not to respond. Did Dark Pit honestly think Pit would comply to Palutena given the state he was in?
"Enough talk from you, Brother Kuro...today is the day that you'll finally be...DELETED!" exclaimed Pit, flinging his arm out to the side as he said "DELETED" with much vigor and contempt. "You may have gotten off easy last week, but this time, you shall be mine! Together we can fight the Great War together, and nothing will stop us! It's never too late, Brother Kuro!"
"I suppose I can join you and fight at your side..." said Dark Pit, as Pit was smiling profusely, his smile intensifying with each and every second. "...but only if you tell me what exactly this Great War is supposed to be. I mean, you've been calling me Brother Kuro, and I don't know why, so perhaps you could fill me in and stuff..."
"Yes, Brother Kuro, I shall educate on this Great War, if your curiosity allows you! The Great War, an epic conflict, was started as a premonition from the Seven Deities, the seven beings who overrule the Broken universe..."
Pit kept rambling on about the Great War and the Seven Deities and all that crap, while Dark Pit slowly backed away, tip-toeing before making a run for it down the hallway. Kirby and Vanguard 1 saw a glimpse of Dark Pit running off, but it was only a small glimpse.
Dark Pit huffed and puffed as he ran, looking for a great hiding spot to conceal himself from Pit, until he saw a large cardboard box in the hallway. The doppelganger, more concerned about finding a hiding spot then questioning what this box was doing in the middle of the hallway, hid underneath the box, where he would find someone he hadn't seen in quite a while...
"Johnny Sasaki is that you, what's a woman stealer like yourself doing in my box?!" some old man angrily snapped on Dark Pit, making the doppelganger scream. "I'm gonna make you pay for taking my precious Meryl away from...Dark Pit, is that you?" The old man in the box wasn't an old man, but rather a former spy who happened to act like an old man...Solid Snake.
"Oh man, Snake, don't scare me like that ever again!" said Dark Pit, his voice heard from inside the cardboard box as he was recollecting his breath. "Was about to wet my pants there...didn't want to stoop down to Pit's level. So, what have you been up to lately? Haven't seen you since forever!"
"Haven't seen you in forever too, Dark Pit...same goes out to everyone else. Reason why I'm hiding is because of Kiria - that dumb lady is still infatuated with me, likely from that love potion Sonic was supposed to give to Samus. Should have known the hedgehog would fail at such a simple task..."
"A love potion...for Samus?! You have a crush on Samus, of all people?!" Dark Pit wouldn't be in so much shock if not for Samus being an ice queen, but the bounty hunter has been defrosting as of late, mostly when Pikachu was around.
"What, she's single, and I'm single, so we're both ready to mingle! Besides, Anthony Higgs never made a move on Samus, which means she's ripe for the taking! Tried serenading Samus with some songs, but unfortunately that didn't go too well..."
"Samus would've definitely be on your side if you fed her some space jargon she would be interested in. Some chicks just aren't swayed by songs - every girl has a different way of being charmed. Just gotta find their 'weak point', for the lack of a better term, and go in! Also, why the large cardboard box?"
"Palutena asked Mario about my whereabouts, and Mario found me under my regular cardboard box and threw me out. Didn't want Kiria to see my face ever again, so I got this...even bigger box from the storage room. It was the only box there."
Palutena: So Snake really wasn't dead this whole time...he just wanted to be secluded from everyone, that's all! If that was the case, then the retirement home downtown would be the best spot for him; he can hide in some lousy cardboard box all day, and form new relationships with senior citizens. Given his accelerated age, I'm positive one of the grannies at the retirement home could be his future lover.
"Have you figured out how to counter Kiria's infatuation towards you?" asked Dark Pit, as Knuckles walked by listening to some jams on his Beats headphones. "Obviously you can't let Kiria love you forever, you gotta make it stop somehow!"
"Only way I can get Kiria away from me is if there was a love potion that could make someone no longer infatuated with somebody," answered Snake, knowing the chances of said potion existing were slim. "Ashley would have to make this potion, and I doubt that she will, since her last two adventures in love have been failures - first with Pit and now with me..."
"Don't be so down on yourself Snake, it's not your fault! Now Pit was definitely the one to blame for his own shortcomings, but as for you, you relied on Sonic to help you, and Sonic's not a helpful guy. Just give it some time, and maybe Ashley might make some anti-love potion, or you could ask Ashley yourself to make said potion, just for you!"
"Yeah, you're right Dark Pit, this was my fault for asking Sonic for romantic advice. Knew I should have asked Marth instead...before I forget, I gotta ask you...are you hiding from someone, too? If so, then allow me to go over some rules, so that we'll get along...as long as you're underneath this box, there will be no sneezing, burping, horseplaying, peeing, pooping, twerking, or anything of the like. Got it, mister?"
"So basically I can't do anything other than talk and breathe...seems fair." Hopefully for Dark Pit, it would only be temporary.
Cilan's Wumpa Fruit Souffle really put a yum in Globox's tum, and while the dish was appetizing, it was poor Globox who had stomach problems from eating it. So while Rayman and Barbara played some of the new games in the arcade room, the blue amphibian was busy taking care of business in the bathroom, making the poor toilet feel the fury of his upset stomach.
After dropping a deuce and forgetting to wash his hands, Globox exited the bathroom as he happily made his way to the arcade room. On his way there, he would come across Jakob, the butler standing in the middle of the hallway, needing to speak with someone...that someone being Globox.
"Hello there miss - a fine day outside, isn't it?" Globox asked Jakob, under the assumption the butler was a woman after seeing his ponytail. The black bow tying said ponytail wasn't doing Jakob any favors. "Globox was just about to head to the arcade room...would you like to come with Globox and play?"
"First of all, I'm a guy...Jakob's the name," Jakob would introduce himself to Globox, now greatly confused about Jakob's gender. "And secondly, I'm not interested in playing any arcade games, that's just isn't my thing. However, I've been needing to ask you a question...you know Rayman and Barbara pretty well, do you?" Globox nodded; the amphibian has known Rayman and Barbara for a pretty long time, though he and Rayman had been friends for the longest now. "Do you know if the two are...well, I don't know...dating, perhaps?"
"Rayman and Barbara...d-d-dating?!" Globox responded nervously, as he was fiddling with his fingers. "W-Well, there was this one time...where the three of us, um, went to some club, during the night hours, and Globox, uh, saw Rayman and Barbara...hanging out together...and Rayman had his arm, or hand, wrapped around Barbara...I don't know if that's a sign of them dating, but..."
"Oh, it sure sounds like they're dating to me...thanks for the info." Globox now covered his mouth, for he was afraid that he spilled some juicy details that could be passed on to someone (like Mario) and implicate his friendship with Rayman and Barbara. "But before I go, I must ask you one more thing...did you see any other suspicious behavior regarding Rayman and Barbara?"
"Nope, not all but...but Globox did see a mansion resident dancing with someone at the club. Globox saw Captain Falcon dancing with someone, on the dance floor...if Globox recalls correctly, it was some lady with pink hair, and red pants, and had glasses on..." Any idea who this lady could be?
Captain Falcon: Me, dancing with someone at some club? *snorts* Yeah, right! Like I would have any business at a young person's club...How did I know it was a young person's club? Well, they let me in, and I saw how young the club goers where, and I was like, "No way Jose", and so I left the club, without even looking back...And why did the bodyguards let me in the club, even though I wasn't a young person? They must've sucked at their jobs - these days, you could sneak an infant inside a club and get away with it. But I would never go to a club anyways, because then I would hook up with some woman, and I would never do such a thing because then I would no longer be faithful to my girlfriend, Nowi. As the biblical saying goes, "for faith without works is no work, but faith with work is...love." That might be from the book of James. Or Romans. Correct me if I'm wrong...
Rayman: Is it just me, or did we see someone from the mansion at the club we went to? Couldn't remember who it was, but I remember this person being tall and stuff. Thought that isn't very descriptive...
Barbara: Pfft, sure isn't, almost everyone at clubs looks the same. But I do recall seeing your mom at the club.
Rayman: Yeah...wait, you're not talking about Betilla, are you? She is not my...
"Captain Falcon dancing with someone at a club does sound discontenting, especially if he's still dating Nowi," remarked Jakob, stroking his chin; the butler failed to see what Captain Falcon and Nowi saw in each other. "I shall address this to Mario and the others right away, perhaps in a meeting. Thank you for supplying me with this information, blue frog thing, my ears are now enlightened with knowledge."
"You're most welcome sir...or ma'am...or whatever," replied Globox, as Jakob nodded and walked away. "But before you go, Globox must know if you're going to tell anyone about Rayman and Barbara at this supposed meeting." Jakob would only tell Mario, just to quell his suspicions, but he was the only person worth telling.
"Might just tell Mario, just to make him stop spying on your best friends, but other than that, your secret is safe with me..." And on that remark, Jakob went down the hallway, as he and Globox went their separate ways.
Link had taken Mario outside, where he was showing the plumber Sonic selling most of his belongings to customers at a yard sale. No, this wasn't like in episode 8, where Mario and Ganondorf were involved in a yard sale battle of the ages - Sonic was out by himself, selling his stuff because Lord knows why.
"You call-a this going AWOL?" Mario asked Link, after witnessing the yard sale for a couple of minutes. "Sonic seems perfectly fine-a to me - most of the stuff-a he's selling must-a be old anyways; I'm-a willing to bet he's just raising some-a money to purchase a new-a game or something."
"Oh, really, well then take a closer look at the hockey stick Sonic is selling right now," Link said, pointing at Sonic as he was making a transaction with some hockey fan wearing a jersey of the Vancouver Canucks, the closest team to Seattle. Mario saw that the hockey stick had Tails's name on it...written in a sharpie pen.
"Yes, I see Tails's name-a on the hockey stick, but so-a what? That hockey stick looks-a old anyways - one man's trash-a is another man's treasure, as the old-a saying goes!" This response from Mario led Link to sigh heavily...time to tell the plumber what was going on.
"Don't you see, Mario - Sonic is practically selling the stuff Tails has given him!" Mario soon started to realize this, as he saw Sonic sell his Air Jordans - a pair of shoes he received on his birthday - to a customer. One man's treasure is another man's...treasure, in this case.
"Thank you for coming by, hope you enjoy those shoes!" the hedgehog called out to the satisfied customer, who walked away with his Jordans as Mario and Link confronted the blue blur. "Ah, Mario, Link, you wanna buy something from my yard sale? The stuff I have might not be much, but I'm sure you'll pay me handsomely with your gold coins and rupees...although I'm expecting coins, since Link always has his rupees stolen more than his money."
"Sonic, why the heck are you selling your stuff - the stuff Tails gave to you?" questioned Link, with his arms folded and a stern look on his face. "We just saw you sell your hockey stick and Jordans, and Tails gave those things to you. Ever heard of a thing called appreciation?"
"Wait, so you saw me selling my belongings, and you didn't bother to purchase something until now? Good grief...anyways, if you two are so concerned, I'm removing any form of evidence of the friendship I once had with Tails, and I'm doing this through a yard sale. Once the sale is over, I can move on with my life, and Tails will move on with his. Now are you gonna buy something or not? Gotta keep the line movin'!"
Sonic: Of course I didn't sell everything Tails gave to me - I decided to keep one item from Tails, an item that would help me remind of the good times I had with my best buddy before he betrayed me and embarked on a life of secrecy. *holds up a teddy bear* This teddy bear was given to Tails from Cream, and Tails didn't care for the bear that much, and so he gave it to me, and I named it Mr. Buttons. Because it has eyes for buttons. Don't knock on me for my lack of creativity. The fact that this bear was from Cream helps nullify the hurt and pain I suffered when I called off my friendship with Tails. I'm sure I hurt Tails more than I hurt myself...
"We're not-a here to buy something Sonic - we're here to demand-a that you call-a off this yard sale and get-a your stuff back!" Mario exclaimed with authority. But Sonic didn't buy into this authority, not one bit.
"Sorry, but I don't do refunds, so if anyone wants to return their stuff, then they better give it away to some thrift shop instead," stated Sonic - like anyone would ever buy a hockey stick with Tails's name on it. Only a desperate person would buy such an item. "Also, this is MY yard sale, so you can't tell me to call it off!"
"If you don't call-a off this yard sale, then I'm-a have to bring in Jakob!" Mario was now starting a scene, as several folks waiting in line cautiously backed away. "You wouldn't want me to bring-a Jakob here, would-a you?"
"No need to fear Mario, for I'm already here," said Jakob, who arrived at the scene, on the spot, mere seconds after his name was called. Dude sure was on point when it came to arriving on time. "I have some pressing information that I must share with some of the others, and I'm asking if we could have a meeting for said information to be disclosed. Therefore, Sonic, you must end his yard sale so this meeting can start on time."
"Can I just continue my yard sale in the meeting room instead?" the hedgehog asked Jakob, who responded with a frown. A frown that dug deep into the blue blur's very soul. "...yeah, screw this yard sale, let's get this meeting going!" a somewhat intimidated Sonic exclaimed with faux happiness.
Jakob and Master Hand would gather everyone in the meeting room, as everyone was filing in and taking their seats. Everyone from Mario and Peach, to Luigi and company, to even the Rayman trio were present. Cloud entered the meeting room with Aerith, with Sora telling the swordsman more lousy stories about his adventures.
"As it turned out, the more time I spent with Winnie the Pooh, the quicker he got his memories back!" Sora happily said to Cloud, who couldn't give a crap about Pooh or Sora's friendships. "Pooh sure was sad when I told him I had to leave, but I told them that we would always have a special connection...right here, in our hearts!" Sora happily pointed at his heart, and Cloud just looked at him like he was some crazy loon.
"Oh wow, you helped some lousy storybook character cure his amnesia, bet you feel very proud of yourself, Sora," said an apathetic Cloud, as he took his seat. Much to his chagrin, Sora would take a seat next to the swordsman. "And why am I not surprised that you're friends with someone who doesn't even exist..."
"Leave Sora alone Cloud, Sora has plenty of real friends - you just don't happen to see them," explained Aerith, sticking up for Sora. So she stood up for the Keyblade wielder, and yet she couldn't tell him the truth about Cloud. "Sora has told me about them, too - he's friends with a pirate, a solder from the Chinese Imperial army, an Arabian street rat..."
"...and three Disney characters, if I recall correctly. Those characters being a duck, a dog, and some mouse. May I also mention that Sora is supposedly friends with a mermaid as well? Does anyone know if mermaids even exist?" Aerith chose to remain silent. "Yeah, that's what I thought..."
Cloud: Sora has told me a lot of strange stories that I don't care about hearing, but do you wanna know the dumbest story Sora told me? The one where Sora talked about how he and his "friends" saved Christmas, and how he got to meet Santa Claus in Christmas Town, and how he was on the naughty list. You can't possibly tell me that some imaginary folk figure actually existed, and in some place called "Christmas Town". What, is the North Pole nonexistent? Because I'm pretty sure that's where "Santa Claus" lives...
Once everyone got in and got settled, it was time for the meeting to begin. Standing at the front of the room with Master Hand and Mario was Jakob, with his hands behind his back.
"First off, I would like to thank everyone for being able to come to this meeting," Jakob started things off, commanding attention from everyone. Doing everything he could to win over Master Hand. "The matter of this meeting is to disclose some information, information that I believed was worth sharing with everyone here, information that has much to do...with that man over there!" Jakob pointed at Captain Falcon, who looked around in confusion when Jakob pointed at him.
"What, you found those romantic photoshopped pictures of myself, the ones I tried to send to my awesome girlfriend Nowi?" the racer questioned, pulling out his phone. "Ya gotta admit, I look pretty good in 'em, don't I?" As the suspicion grew in the meeting room, Globox started feeling guilty, and he was wearing his guilt on his face.
"You're not possibly talking about pictures like these, are you?" asked Diddy Kong, holding up his cellphone with a photoshopped picture of Captain Falcon on his screen, a picture of the racer sitting on a lawn chair at a beach. "Hope you do realize Nowi doesn't even own a cellphone..."
"Huh, you learn something new everyday...but I still look good in those pictures, right Diddy?" The spidermonkey opted not to answer, as he placed his cellphone back where it was. Jakob cleared his throat, as the attention in the meeting room was drawn back to him.
"Anyways, before I was so rudely interrupted by the culprit...I had received intel, from someone within this mansion, that Captain Falcon...was at a club, and he was dancing not with Nowi...but with Kalos Elite Four member Malva!"
A collective gasp transpired in the meeting room, as everyone was looking around, looking at one another. Captain Falcon looked uneasy, as the guilt on Globox's face became more and more apparent. Tension was slowly building up, ready to boil over.
"Would Falcon dancing with Malva at a club mean that he's cheating on Nowi?" questioned Rosalina, who like many others hoped this wasn't the case. "Granted I think both Falcon and Nowi are crazy for liking each other, but Falcon so far has proven himself to be a great boyfriend." Captain Falcon agreed with this wholeheartedly, nodding his head excessively.
"Now this is my first time hearing about Captain Falcon having a girlfriend, and the same could go for my assistant Luke, and Crash, Coco, and Aku," said Professor Layton, speaking on behalf of himself and the newest additions to the mansion. "However, I wouldn't mind taking a break from investigating the hotel fire incident and conducting an investigation into Captain Falcon's personal life..."
"No, no, you're here to investigate the hotel attack, not interfere in Captain Falcon's life. Stick to what you were told to do." Jakob, after putting Layton in his place, turned his attention to Captain Falcon. "So, Falcon, what do you have to say for yourself?"
"Well, I just have to say that you're a liar, and whoever told you that false information is a liar, too!" replied Falcon, giving Jakob a little bit of sass. "What was the point of this meeting anyway, you wanted to single me out in front of everyone by accusing me of something that I never did, nor would I ever do? I got one word for such crap...BLASPHEMY!"
Master Hand: For as long as I've been head over the Smash Mansion, I had never felt gossip to be such a powerful force inside my own establishment. This gossip creates such an intrigue that has never been present before, not even with the ongoing investigation surrounding the bozos ruining Mario and Peach's wedding day. I had spent hard-earned money - the same money I forked from Star Records without anyone's permission - to ensure the wedding reception was on-point, and to have it end like that...Layton and Luke better conclude their investigation on a high note, if they know what's good for them.
"But if I'm a liar, then how come the person who saw you at the club, whom you think is also a liar, saw you dancing with a lady, with pink hair and red pants, and wearing sunglasses?" questioned Jakob, wanting to get all up in Captain Falcon's grill but instead choosing to remain professional, as sweat was steadily pouring down Globox's face. "With a description like that, the person Falcon was dancing with surely had to be Malva."
"Maybe the person who told you about Falcon was drunk, and imagined Captain Falcon at the club, dancing with Malva, all because of some hallucination," Zelda offered her take, trying to bring some logic and reasoning to the conversation. She was always the most logical person at most meetings. "Was this person a resident from this mansion?"
"I do not wish to put this person on the spot, like I'm doing with Captain Falcon right now, so I won't say anything about them." That didn't matter, for Globox was really starting to feel the pressure. Telling Jakob about Falcon was a truly bad idea. "However, I suspect that this person was being honest in their response, and so I do think that Captain Falcon is indeed guilty of..."
"You can't outright accuse Falcon if you don't even have the video evidence to back up your claim," interjected King K. Rool, cutting off Jakob. "I mean, for all we know, you could be spreading gossip just to ruffle some feathers!" Everyone seemed to agree with Rool, as several folks were nodding their heads. First time anyone willingly agreed to whatever Rool had to say.
"The thing is, uh...well, um, you see...there is no video evidence because..." Eyes a many were on Jakob, fumbling for an answer, as everyone was interested for what answer Jakob had for Rool's question. "You know what, forget about it, the person who told me about Captain Falcon must indeed be a liar. I was just passing the information on, and for all we know, it could very well be gossip. Meeting adjourned..."
"You all heard the man, meeting adjourned, everyone is free to leave!" announced Master Hand, as everyone got up and left the meeting room. "Everyone except for you, Isabelle, I must speak with you about the upcoming back massage you're gonna give me. And don't even sass me and tell me that I don't have a back - just use your imagination! All the little kids are doing it!"
"Man, that sure was a very weird meeting," remarked Rayman, as he, Barbara, and Globox exited the meeting room. Globox was sweaty as heck; both Rayman and Barbara assumed this was due to the thermostat in the meeting room. Might've been on 79 degrees. "That butler guy sure was insane accusing Captain Falcon of something he never had done!"
"Yeah, and whoever told that falsified garbage to Jakob must be the biggest buffoon in the entire universe," added Barbara, before nudging Globox with a toothy grin on her face. "You're a buffoon too Globox, but you're certainly aren't the biggest!"
"Ain't that the truth..." Globox chuckled nervously, with a genuinely fake smile on his face. He should run away from the mansion, as far away from Captain Falcon as possible, and that was what the amphibian planned on doing. "Globox thinks our visit at the mansion overstayed its welcome, we should go to an amusement park or an aquarium or somewhere that's fun...and stuff!"
"Nah, we should probably stay it's dinnertime, heard Cilan's gonna be cooking some Chinese food! I'd take his cooking over Palutena's endemic cooking any day of the week!" Barbara keeping it one hundred, even while being just a mansion visitor...even she knew what was up.
Globox: Globox feels bad, Globox screwed up...Globox made the man or woman look stupid in front of everyone...and made Captain Falcon look and feel guilty...Globox doesn't deserve anyone's pity, Globox should go away forever...
Jakob was walking away from the meeting room, under the assumption that Globox had lied to him, when someone tapped the butler on the shoulder. Jakob turned around, and saw Captain Falcon, the only person he saw in the hallway. Clearly the racer had something to get off his chest in private...
"Hello there, Captain Falcon, presumed club goer...judging by the look on your face, you must be experiencing some sort of cramp, like a Charley horse, after I almost exposed you at that meeting," Jakob said to the racer, who was slightly panting from running. Unwritten Rule #2: never run indoors. "Got something you wish to tell me, wanna talk in private?"
"Just got one question I need to ask you, if you don't mind..." replied Captain Falcon, after he was done panting. "...who was the bozo that snitched on me about dancing with Malva at the club? Promise me you won't tell Nowi..." So Globox was right after all; no wonder the big fella was nervous. Jakob had a grin on his face, and Falcon couldn't detect the sheer slyness displayed on the grin.
"I won't tell Nowi a thing about you and Malva and the club...unless you can tell me why you were at the club in the first place, and why you were dancing with Malva, of all people." Better question was, what business did Malva have in Seattle? It wasn't like she was returning to the city to start some affair with Mr. Game and Watch, for that was a done deal.
"I was bored last night, that's all! Didn't want to start or be involved with any controversy, so going to a young people's club was the safest bet for me. Got no clue why Malva was there though - before we danced, it looked like she was at the club just looking around. Some funky tune erupted on the loudspeakers, and the two of us were on the dance floor, and she held her hand out and I took it...and would you know it, we were both dancing together. Pretty sure Malva was drunk, for she was kinda acting loopy..."
"Very interesting...Malva at some club in this city does seem off, though. If she was here, then I would interrogate her and ask her several questions about what she was doing at the club. 'Just looking around' sure sounds like a very ambiguous thing to do at places for social gathering like a club."
"Hey, I'm just telling you what went down during my club experience. Please don't tell Nowi, or anyone else for that matter, I can't afford to break up with me! Having Nowi in my life has made the happiest I've ever felt, and I cannot let my happiness fade!"
"Your secret is safe with me, Captain Falcon..." Jakob gave a thumbs up as he walked away. Captain Falcon smiled, and regained his composure, as he cheerfully strolled away, like nothing ever happened. But was it worth it to keep a secret with Jakob? Only time would tell...
Robin was coolly standing in the hallway, next to some door, reading from his tome. The mage's tome contained all the magic spells used in Smash battles. But why was Robin reading from a tome he typically had in his possession 100& of the time? No time to look for an answer, for Sora ran down the hallway, interrupting Robin during his reading...if he was even reading in the first place.
"Have you seen Cloud anywhere, Robin - I tried to speak with the guy after the meeting, but he was nowhere to be found," the Keyblade wielder asked Robin, who did not give any eye contact as his eyes were glued to his tome.
"Did you see him exit the meeting room with Aerith?" asked Robin, finally looking up at Sora. "Perhaps Cloud and Aerith went on a secret date somewhere in town. You know how secretive Cloud can be, he doesn't like disclosing information to others. I know that from knowing the guy for over a year and a half."
"Yeah, Cloud is very secretive - he was always like that at Olympus Coliseum." Sora said this like Robin was actually supposed to care. "Bet you they're at the fancy restaurant a few blocks from here!" So Sora ran off, on the search for his best buddy.
Captain Falcon: Okay, so what if I danced with Malva at some club? It wasn't like I initiated it, that was Malva's doing! I only obliged because I wanted to. I'm a charmer. The ladies swoon over me, with some too reluctant to do it. (Samus, for example.) But I can't let Nowi find out, she'll think I'm cheating on her and that I'm starting an affair with another woman. Her childlike heart wouldn't handle such heartbreak!
"The coast is clear Cloud, Sora has run off thinking you and Aerith are on a date," Robin said through the door next to him, as Cloud exited from said door. "That means he should be gone for quite a while..."
"Quite a while is fine with me," remarked Cloud, as he closed the door behind him. The swordsman would prefer infinity over anything. "Thanks for being on the lookout Robin."
With Sora gone for "quite a while", Cloud continued his way down the hallway, not giving a care about the world, until he came across a large cardboard box in the middle of the hallway during his trek. It was the largest box Cloud ever laid his eyes on, and the swordsman was curious as to why this box was present, and if there was anything underneath it.
"You know what, I should ask Master Hand where Cloud and Aerith went to, he knows everything!" exclaimed Sora, his voice heard from down the hallway. Cloud couldn't afford Sora to see him, so the swordsman did what he had to do and hid underneath the large box. Sora headed down the hallway and past the large box, glancing at it for a brief moment, before continuing his way to Master Hand's room, while Cloud found two companions underneath the box...
"Cloud Strife, so nice of you to join us!" exclaimed Snake - you could literally feel the lack of excitement on Cloud's face. "Long time no see, haven't seen you since forever! Of course, I would show up and remind everyone that I'm not dead, but I can't because of stupid Kiria..."
"No, Pit is stupider for performing some stupid wrestling gimmick he saw on television, dude can't even be original," remarked Dark Pit; gotta wonder how he was able to hide under the cardboard box while adhering to Snake's rules. One little sneeze, and the doppelganger would get kicked out! "He has to leech off of someone, because being true to himself and doing his own thing just isn't in his blood. Palutena should punish him just for being unoriginal!"
"Can either one of you please explain why you're hiding underneath this random cardboard box?" questioned Cloud, feeling the sudden urge to leave and find another hiding place. "I'm surprised anyone that ever saw this box asked Master Hand about it..."
"Had to find myself a new cardboard box, since Mario confiscated the one I usually hide in," explained Snake, the sound of a lighter heard. Snake wasn't lighting a cigarette in a closed space, with Cloud and Dark Pit, was he? "So I found myself this cardboard box, from the storage room, and hit in it...and thank goodness my lighter works. Really needed some light."
"Basically you two are hiding from your annoyances...and since I have an annoyance myself in Sora, could I hang out with you guys? I'll probably just stick around until the coast is clear, but if I get bored, then I'm leaving..."
"Fine with us Cloud, but there are some rules that you must follow while you're under this box. Actually, there are a lot of rules. There will be no sneezing, burping, horseplaying, peeing, pooping, twerking..."
"Only thing you can do his talk and breathe, pretty much," explained Dark Pit, saving Cloud a lot of trouble. "Which means that you're pretty much fine..."
Wario was in the kitchen, preparing to devour a batch of cinnamon rolls. And yes, those cinnamon rolls were all for himself, for the fatso believed sharing was a practice only meant for brainwashed kindergartners. But if Wario did have to share, it would be with his Palutena, his crush.
"Those are some lovely cinnamon rolls you got there," Jakob said to Wario, who pulled his dish away, assuming the butler wanted some cinnamon rolls for himself. "Did Lady Palutena make them, or did you make them yourself?"
"Bought these from the store, they were pre-made," explained Wario, grabbing a cinnamon roll and stuffing it down his mouth. "Cooking stuff is too hard, and requires too much work!" The same couldn't be said for making money, however, in Wario's case.
"Mhmm...anyways, did you hear about Viridi? The girl is in a secret relationship with a human, a human boy!" This caused Wario to raise his eyebrows in intrigue. "The boy is the son of one of the richest folks in town, and he's human! So Viridi loves humans, after all - it's all an act of tsundere! And Pit doesn't know Viridi is cheating on him...therefore, we can't let anyone know about this. Got it?"
"Nobody will be hearing a peep from me!" replied Wario, zipping his mouth shut like a zipper. Jakob nodded and walked away, as Wario resumed eating his beloved cinnamon rolls, albeit vigorously. Dude's gonna choke himself real quick...
Jakob: How do you un-tell something? You can't. You can't put words back in your mouth. What you can do is spread false gossip so that people think that everything that's been said is untrue, including "Captain Falcon had a small affair with Malva". It's like that Wizard of Oz movie, from the last movie night - no matter how many times you re-watch the film, you still don't know who the real Wizard is, or if there even is one, for that matter. It's a classic whodunit case.
"What, Celicia has an eating disorder?!" exclaimed Nana in shock, as Jakob was telling the Ice Climbers all about the eating disorder the queen of Valentia was suffering from. "No wonder she keeps eating our desserts!"
"Celicia is suffering from a disorder called anorexia," stated Jakob, before looking down at the floor and feeling sorrowful for Celica, shaking his head. "Quite sad, really - poor Celica thinks eating your desserts could help her cope with her anorexia. But sundaes and cupcakes just won't cut it..."
"We can't just let her eat our stuff all willy nilly, we gotta help her out!" said Popo, for once putting aside his pride and arrogance for the sake of the greater good. "I didn't make my awesome desserts just so one person could eat them all up!" ...well, so much for that.
"Nothing can be done, for Celica is but a lost soul...we can only inform the others and pray that Celica will one day conquer her demons."
After speaking with the Ice Climbers, Jakob went to the lounge, where he would find Alm and Celica spending time together. Those two were practically inseparable.
"So worried about Nana, she's perhaps the weakest link of the Ice Climbers..." Jakob discussed with Alm and Celica, before heaving a heavy sigh. "At some point, Master Hand might kick her out of the mansion just for being useless!"
"Master Hand would never, and besides, Nana is the one keeping Popo in check," said Alm, offering his take. Having just one Ice Climber at the mansion would really be no bueno. "Imagine how exuberant Popo would be without his leash, Nana!"
"Yes, it would be a sight to behold...oh, and one more thing I must tell you...Fox is a bastard child." Neither Alm nor Celica couldn't believe this, as they gasped out of complete shock. Now there was something you would never expect to hear.
"Fox McCloud, a bastard child?" fretted Celica, refusing to accept whether it was true or not. Just think about Fox's reputation! "I must admit, this is very shocking..."
"Indeed - I'll let you two ponder over this, I have to go." Jakob left Alm and Celica shocked as he departed from the lounge, seeing Mewtwo walking by. "Mewtwo, may I speak with you for a quick minute?" the butler asked the psychic Pokemon, who followed Jakob to a place in the hallway to speak in private. "Did you hear the news about Peach? She's pregnant!"
"Princess Peach is pregnant?!" an alarmed Mewtwo raised his eyes. "Man, she's gonna hate being a mother..." Mewtwo said that like he was speaking from experience!
Fox was in the gaming room, playing on the golfing simulator. The pilot did a perfect swing, a thing of beauty, and got a hole in one. As Fox celebrated with a fist pump, King Dedede drew near, with a smile on his face.
"Nice swing you got there...inglorious bastard," chuckled the penguin, as a now offended Fox angrily turned around with his Blaster pointed at Dedede. "Woah, Fox, chill out man, it was just a joke!"
"Oh yeah, well say it again, one more time, to my face!" challenged Fox, with his Blaster ready. The pilot wasn't willing to take any chances, especially with King Dedede. "Go ahead, try me, see what happens!"
"No, Fox, you got it all wrong...the joke I told, it was supposed to be related to the rumor about you being a bastard kid." A stunned Fox held his Blaster down, looking all crazy...and he was feeling insecure. Was Dedede telling the truth?
"Wait, where did you hear this from? Who told you this? Wolf? Pigma? Leon? Caroso? Oikonny? Andross?" The insecurity was building up inside of Fox, as the pilot was now looking for answers - answers about his true past.
"Look Fox, I'm sorry about the joke, I should have thought it over, and I knew it would...hold up, where are you going?!" King Dedede and several others watched as Fox ran out of the gaming room, now looking for the answers he so desperately craved for.
Fox: I could be a bastard child...I mean, I don't know who my mother is - don't even know her name - and that right there is a telltale sign of being a bastard. But I refuse to believe that I was born out of wedlock, for my dad, James McCloud, would know better than to bang some chick prior to marriage. Gotta see what Falco thinks of this...
While Fox played the golf simulator in the gaming room, his buddy Falco sought to find his own source of fun, playing a game of Connect 4 in the Star Records room with Eleonora. The avian pilot was so close to winning, ready to drop his colored disc into the suspended grid...
"Yo, Falco, I got a dilemma on my hands!" yelled Fox as he burst inside the room, making Falco instinctively bang his hands on the table and cause the Connect 4 grid to call over, the colored discs flying out. Eleonora covered her mouth to stifle her laughter, as Falco seethed with rage.
"Bruh I was so close to whooping Eleonora's behind at Connect 4, what the heck man!" Falco snapped on his best friend - mess with the avian pilot's competitive nature, and you were bound to feel his uncontrollable fury.
"I need to ask you a question, it's a very important question too...do you know if I'm a bastard child or not?" If Falco was drinking something, he would have done a spit take...and so, not wanting a missed opportunity, the avian pilot grabbed a cup from the Star Records desk, drank its contents, and spat out the drink, before gagging momentarily.
"Where did you hear this about you being a bastard child?" Eleonora asked Fox, as Falco, regretting his decision, continued to gag. The avian pilot would stop chocking seconds later, before standing back up and regaining his composure.
"King Dedede told me that I was a bastard child back in the gaming room, it was some kind of rumor. But that rumor might be true - after all, I was never really familiar with my mom, and I don't think I knew her at all...I'm so conflicted."
"Did you ever see your mom before, like did your dad ever show you pictures of your mom? And if he did...was your mom hot?" Fox gave Falco a weird look, or a glare...could be a mixture of both.
Falco: What exactly is my responsibility here? To comfort insecure bastard kids? That can't possibly fall to me.
Eleonora: Oh, but asking if someone's mom is hot is...
Falco: Sometimes you gotta be in the know...you know?
The very thought of Peach being pregnant was obviously a big deal, and Mewtwo felt like others had to know the truth, especially if Mario nor Peach didn't want to make the big announcement. So the psychic Pokemon went to tell Aerith the big news, in the mansion gardens.
"How long has Peach been pregnant?" Aerith asked Mewtwo, as she was taming a few Piranha Plants. Obviously Alph forgot to check the flower pots, like he was supposed to do in the previous episode.
"Jakob informed me that Peach is two weeks pregnant," replied Mewtwo. "He is very close with Mario and Peach, so obviously he knows more than we do." The Rayman trio were watching from a short distance, having eavesdropped on the conversation. To them, Peach being pregnant was just a rumor.
"Hope these guys aren't believing every little thing they hear," remarked Rayman, unnerved by the many rumors flying about in the mansion. "I mean come on, Captain Falcon dancing at a club with Malva? At the club we went to? Today's a weird day for false facts..."
"Globox knows the reason for that..." said Globox, wanting to come clean, but not knowing how to, nor did he have the courage to own up to his actions.
Wanting more answers, Fox went over to Mario's place, so he could speak with Mario and Peach. The pilot would speak with Mario in his room, while Peach was downstairs doing stuff.
"I would hate to live the rest of my life forever stigmatized as a bastard child," Fox discussed with Mario, who nodded his head because he had no other way of showing Fox that he was listening. "I'll be one of the many people who never even knew their mother...but it would be better than not knowing who your father was, in a way. Either or, it ain't good..."
"Fox, do you know-a that your mom is-a Vixy Reinard?" asked Mario, as Mario went into his closet and pulled out a comic book, a Nintendo Power comic, which was Star Fox-themed. The plumber flipped through the pages until he arrived at the page he was looking for, before pointing at a panel. "See? That's-a your mother, in-a the picture frame!" Fox squinted his eyes at the panel, and after close inspection...
"Dude that's not my real mom, that's from a stupid comic book! Get that crap out of my face!" Fox angrily slapped the comic book away, and fired shots from his Blaster at it, before sulking on Mario's bed. "Guess I'll just have to accept my fate as a bastard kid, no point in running away from my past..."
"Fox, cheer-a up, you don't even have-a all the facts yet! Are you gonna let-a this hubbub overwhelm-a you?" Fox turned over on his belly, his face in Mario's pillow, and groaned...which might've been a yes to the question.
"Oh Mario, we have some visitors!" Peach called out to Mario from downstairs, her ever cheery voice delighting the plumber. "Crash, Coco, and Aku are here!"
So Mario, leaving Fox to sulk on his bed, headed downstairs and to the living room, where he would find Crash, Coco, and Aku waiting. Once the plumber arrived...
"TA-DA!" Crash exclaimed with one knee on the floor and his hands out at his side, doing some jazz hands, as Coco popped some confetti. Mario and Peach were epicly confused by it all, if epicly was an actual word.
"Congratulations Mario and Peach, for embarking on your experience with having a first child!" Coco congratulated the bewildered princess, as Mario bit his trembling bottom lip. "Surely you're more excited than what your faces indicate, but I bet you're joyful about being pregnant, Princess Peach!"
"This is the surprise you wished to give to us?" questioned Peach, as Mario's face was suddenly turning red, Redder than a tomato. Even redder than the cap he was wearing.
"There are many great gifts in life, but there is no greater gift than welcoming a newborn baby into the world!" exclaimed Aku, while Mario's face grew redder. "Your nine-month journey shall be a great one, I'll guarantee that!" That's when Mario couldn't take it anymore, as he fell to the floor in burst into a fit of uncontrollable laughter, tears running down his face. Crash and company just watched as the doorbell rang; Peach went to the front door and opened it, and couldn't believe who she was seeing...
...Dr. Neo Cortex, holding not his ray gun, but rather a white onesie. With the smiling mad doctor was Uka, who clearly did not believe in smiling.
"Greetings, Princess Peach, I know we haven't talked to each other much, but allow me to congratulate you on your pregnancy!" Cortex said to the princess, coming off as nice and affable as he knew how. "I heard the wonderful news about your pregnancy, and so I robbed the nearest Babies-R-Us store (because I'm cheap) and got you this, a onesie for your infant! It's white, because it's gender neutral. Now I did see Crash enter your home...may I speak with him for a hot minute? Promise you I won't destroy him!"
"Thank you, Dr. Cortex, have a great day!" exclaimed Peach as she accepted the onesie from Cortex, before closing the door on his face. The mad doctor just stood there for a good while, before walking away in defeat.
Cortex: The one time I tried being nice with Mario and/or Peach, and I couldn't capitalize upon it and get closer to Crash! What could I possibly be doing wrong?!
Uka: Maybe if you looked at yourself once in the mirror, you'll figure out the answer.
Cortex: You should be doing the same thing yourself...
It was now dinnertime at the Smash Mansion, with Rayman, Barbara, Globox, and the mansion residents all gathered in the dining room to enjoy Cilan's Chinese cuisine, in a peaceful manner...or so that's what Cilan wanted. But due to the many rumors going about within the mansion, there was a LOT of animosity going on among the residents. Jakob stood by himself, watching this all go down.
"Oh, so you really think I'm the voice actor for Elmo from Sesame Street?" Roy snapped on Wolf, who would be enjoying his chicken if not for Roy spitting in his face. "You think that just because I have red hair, and that I have a somewhat squeaky voice, that I voice some dumb Muppet?!"
"What are you talking about Heihachi, I have two kids - Alfendi and Katrielle!" Layton frowned at the kung fu fighter, pointing at him like he was Phoenix Wright. "How dare you call me a virgin!"
The bickering among the residents would persist, when Crash, Coco, and Aku arrived at the dining room, taken back by the large-scale dissension taking place. With them was Mario, who after hearing Fox's story, had a question on his mind...
"Excuse-a me everybody, but has-a everyone heard a crazy rumor about-a themselves today?" addressed Mario, raising his voice so that everyone could hear and stop arguing among one another. After hearing Mario's question, the residents either answered "Yes", or nodded their heads.
"Yes, Mario, there's been a lot of rumors going about today, so we should all discredit them," stated Jakob, before giving Mario a thumbs up of approval. "Good thinking Mario, great thinking indeed!"
"Yeah, sure, but...who's been saying all that stuff in the first place?" questioned Link, standing up from his seat. Who cared if he spilled some wonton sauce on his tunic.
"That's not important, Link, I just think we shouldn't listen to any of that crap. Now sit back in your seat and enjoy your dinner!" Master Hand was granting Jakob a lot of authority, wasn't he? And the dude had yet to be named the official butler of the mansion!
"I think we should get to the bottom of this, and find the person responsible for the rumors flying about," stated Cilan, as Jakob looked away in disgust. " Let's pick a rumor and trace it back to the beginning."
"Let me start things off...who said that there's a midget living inside me, working me with a video game controller and fighting my fights for me?!" Akuma angrily asked. Clearly did not enjoy this rumor about him at all.
"I heard that from Mewtwo," said Ness, as everyone looked at Mewtwo.
"I heard that from Jigglypuff," said Mewtwo, as everyone looked at Jigglypuff.
"Jigglypuff Jigglypuff!" said Jigglypuff, as she pointed at Kohaku, whom everyone looked at.
"I heard the rumor from Jakob," said Kohaku, as everyone looked at Jakob...
...who wasn't even there. Mario looked out the dining room entrance, and saw the butler sneakily walking away...
Aku: Almost everyone had a rumor about them today...but I was amazingly out of dodge! Could be because I don't do much other than protect Crash and Coco that would make someone create a rumor about me. Or it could be that I'm just boring in general...
Cloud, Dark Pit, and Snake were still hiding underneath the large cardboard box, missing out on dinner and being exposed to rumors. However, the three were enjoying some great conversations, like the one they were having right now...
"What are your honest opinions on Jakob, the guy Master Hand is lowkey in love with?" Cloud asked Dark Pit and Cloud, interested in their responses. "Personally I don't think I would enjoy having the guy around as a butler, he's got something up his sleeve..."
"Other than Corrin, Kamui, Mario, or Master Hand, I cannot think of a single person Jakob gets along with well," added Snake, offering his take. "I feel like he irrationally hates everyone, and for petty reasons, or no reason at all..."
"I could tell, because earlier I heard Jakob speaking with Little Mac, talking about how Ganondorf's breath reeked," added Dark Pit. "Then Little Mac told it Luke, and Luke told it to Villager, and Villager ran down the hall so he could tell it to..." That's when Dark Pit came to a stop, and saw that something was wrong.
"...I think it's about time we stopped hiding under this stupid box," remarked Snake, throwing the box onto the floor in somewhat dramatic fashion. "Something fishy is definitely going on..."
"Yo, Jakob, where are you going man?" Red the Pokemon Trainer called out to the butler, as he, Mario, and a group of residents were chasing the retreating Jakob down the hallway. "Can't run from us forever, you know!"
"I'm going to speak with Master Hand and see what he says about the rumor situation!" replied Jakob, walking fast and steady. "Bet you he's in the Star Records room now, looting money like I saw him last night!"
Jakob would arrive at an elevator, and after the butler pressed the button, he turned around and saw Mario and company, cornering him. Jakob wouldn't have to worry about facing any ridicule from the others, for the elevator dinged and the elevator doors open...
...only to reveal Snake, Cloud, and Dark Pit inside. Snake must've used some tracking device to find Jakob; that could be a very logical explanation.
"Busted..." snarled Snake, as Jakob slowly backed away...only to back up into Mario. Time for the butler to fess up!
Once dinner was commenced, Jakob gathered everyone in the meeting room so he could address the rumors...and yes, the Rayman trio was present, with Mario and Peach present too.
"...Okay, I made it all up, none of the rumors are true," admitted Jakob, as everyone let out a sigh of relief. Now Layton no longer had to deal with being a virgin, and Nana didn't have to worry about getting her butt kicked from the mansion.
"Even the rumor that I'm a bastard child?" Fox asked Jakob, to which the butler nodded his head. "Yes!" a relieved Fox pumped his fists, as Falco patted him on the back.
Fox: Pssh, totally knew I wasn't a bastard kid this whole time, I was just...playing along...just for the fun of it... *nervously smiles* ...but it wouldn't hurt to find out who my mom really is, since my dad never told me. Might have to find out the truth on my own...
"Why would you say all those things, Jakob, why?" asked Akira, who couldn't help himself but bring some egg rolls to the meeting. They were that good! "Why make up an eating disorder, Falcon's affair, me being Bruce Lee's long-lost relative..."
"You told everyone I was dancing with Malva?" Captain Falcon frowned at Jakob, getting his Falcon Punch ready. Hopefully you remember the last time the racer used Falcon Punch in the mansion, and how that turned out.
"There was one true rumor out there today, that I didn't want everybody to know what it was," explained Jakob, as a sense of anticipation enveloped the meeting room. "So all of you are off the hook, except for this one person...or couple, rather."
Jakob let the room be silent, allowing the silence to soak into the room and into everyone present, playing up on the drama and suspense. Mario sweated as he looked around, his eyes darting left and right, before blurting out the following...
"PRINCESS-A PEACH IS PREGNANT!" ...at the top of his lungs. Everyone gave their undivided attention to Mario, who had his mouth covered. Peach, the lady of the hour, remained silent, as the silence turned into slight awkwardness.
"Princess Peach is pregnant?!" boomed Master Hand, appearing in the room with cash in his hand...before dropping said cash unto the floor at the sight of Fox, Falco, and the Star Records folks. "Mario, Peach, why didn't either of you tell me this vital information, or anyone else for that matter?"
"I told Mario to address the news, but he was too reluctant," explained Peach, as Wario and several other people were grabbing the money from the floor and stuffing it into their pockets. Couldn't resist the power and allure of the green... "I'm only two weeks pregnant..."
"Two weeks is too long to not let anyone know about your pregnancy, except for Jakob!" Master Hand slowly turned to Jakob. "...you did know about Peach's pregnancy, did you?" he would ask the butler.
"Mario and Peach informed me about the pregnancy the day after Peach did her pregnancy test," replied Jakob, glancing at his fingernails for a second or two. "Unless Mario or Peach didn't want to address everyone, I thought about addressing everyone myself..."
"Good thing Mario told everyone the great news, am I right?" Something was off, however, at least to Master Hand...it didn't seem like anyone cared. "Why are you all so quiet for, Peach is pregnant, for crying out loud! Everyone give her (and Mario, I guess...) a round of applause!"
The entire meeting room into a roar of applause and cheers - some of it was genuine and heartfelt, some of it was done just to avoid scrutiny and punishment from Master Hand. Mario and Peach looked at one another and smiled, for they knew that the pregnancy was gonna be one wild, crazy ride, like the one Luigi and Daisy once experienced.
"May I be the godfather of your child?" Bowser asked Mario and Peach after the applause died down; only response the Koopa King got was in the form of a glare, from both Mario and Peach.
Having enjoyed their dinner, and with the moon rising up in the sky, it was time for Rayman and his friends to leave. As Rayman and Barbara were saying their goodbyes, Globox wished to speak with Captain Falcon, in private.
"Globox is very, very sorry for telling Jakob about you dancing with Malva in the club," the blue amphibian apologized to Captain Falcon. Instead of running away from Falcon out of fear, Globox did the right thing and make amends with the racer. "Globox learned a very valuable lesson today...never tell anyone incriminating information about somebody else, especially if you don't have all the facts. This whole gossip thing was mostly my fault..."
"No, Globox, I shouldn't have went to the club in the first place," stated Captain Falcon, looking down at the floor in regret. "Bad things always happen at the club, even when you're not involved. I should refrain from going to clubs, if it keeps Nowi happy. Speaking of Nowi...don't tell her what I did at the club, it might ruin our relationship!"
"Globox doesn't even remember what Nowi looks like, but he'll make sure not to tell her!" Globox gave a thumbs up as Captain Falcon smiled...with a lack of confidence.
Layton and Luke were seated on the porch, in some rocking chairs, looking up at the starry Seattle sky. The detective duo decided to kick it back and relax; they deserved it after all the investigating they've done since their mansion stay.
"Couldn't believe Jakob started up a rumor about me being a virgin, must've never saw my children before," smiled Layton, as Mario and Peach exited the front door. Layton would acknowledge the couple's presence with a nod, and Mario would nod right back, as he and Peach made their way back to their home.
"Feel so happy for Peach, about to have her first child with Mario and all," remarked Luke, smiling as Mario and Peach entered their own home. A curious thought suddenly sparked inside Luke's head. "Say, Layton, if Captain Falcon did go the club, and saw Malva...then what business did Malva have in Seattle?
"Considering that Malva is a former member of Team Flare...perhaps she was in town, digging up dirt on her former colleagues. And if her presence is any indication, there might be some Team Flare members located in Seattle...why don't we investigate the matter another time? Might give us more clues!"
"Sounds like a plan to me!" Layton and Luke should also be on the lookout for Malva during their investigation, if she ever shows up, for she might provide the detectives with some information...
...vital, non-falsified information, that is, unlike what the mansion residents were exposed to today.