Author's Note:
Wanted to start this note off with a snazzy introduction, but unfortunately I couldn't think of anything. So let's just cut to the chase...
"Will the other Mewtwo from the Genesect movie be mentioned? Is Wolf wearing his outfit from Star Fox Assault or Smash Bros. Brawl? Can you include a scene of Celica interacting with Futaba and Magilou? (Erica Lindbeck voices them) how do you think Viridi would react to the events of the Resident Evil series? And finally, will we see an Infinity War chapter sometime in the near future?"
That Mewtwo is lame...so no. Wolf is wearing his Brawl outfit. I can do that Celica scene. Don't know how Viridi would react. And there will be an Infinity War chapter sometime soon, in May. Another guest review:
"An Idea for the next chap. Toon Link needs a potion for Ashley and accidentally grabs one that makes him massive. The other children smashers have to find to shrink him before Master Hand finds out. Toon Link also needs to shrink before he starves to death as he squishes food at his side. (Maybe have Master Hand think Toon Link's stomach growl be like an earthquake or something)?"
Think I saw a similar request like this before...but I could be wrong. I'll make it happen. Up next is Mikael M Etienne:
"...[the story] needs more Piridi"
Haven't done that much Piridi in the recent chapters, compared to the earlier ones. I'll try and get back on track with that pairing soon. And last but not least, Derick Lindsey:
"...how's Chrom's hair doing, is it backed to it's normal length or close to it?"
Chrom's hair...is coming along pretty nicely. Not back to normal length, but it's getting there.
Episode 115: Balthier
Next week is a week a certain resident of the Smash Mansion has been waiting for. Next week would mark an event that the resident has waited for so long. Next week would be something worth remembering forever, and until the end of time.
Next week...someone was getting married next week. A male resident of the mansion was getting married next week.
But who could this resident be? Captain Falcon? He had just got back together with Nowi, no point in him rushing to find a wedding ring. Wario? He still hasn't come around with Palutena. Link? Frankly, that Hylian would never have the guts to propose to Zelda. He might as well be in love with the princess forever and not be married, for all we know.
The person that would soon be wedded to his lover...would be Berkut, the paladin from Rigel. He planned to marry his love, Rinea, in an impromptu private wedding next week after receiving approval form Master Hand. If you might recall, Berkut and Rinea were already engaged when they made their first Smash Life appearance, and now they were prepared to take their relationship to the next level...something Link could never do with Zelda in a million years.
Berkut: I am most excited about being married, as any groom would be. To be married to a gal like Rinea would be a dream come true. I opted to make our wedding private since I didn't want any low-class losers in attendance, so the mansion residents will be the only ones witnessing our moment of a lifetime. I may not move out of the mansion upon marriage, like Mario and Peach did, but at least I get to sleep with Rinea and move out of that room with Cortex... *sighs* ...gonna feel very sorry for Aerith soon.
Of course, Berkut couldn't do his private wedding without an officiant. Or a wedding planner. Which is why Master Hand tasked the paladin to find someone to double up as both an officiant AND a wedding planner before the end of the week. Soon enough, Berkut would find the perfect guy.
Berkut was told to meet with this man at the Market Arms, a large British pub in the heart of Seattle. So the paladin asked Luigi and Daisy to take him to this British pub, so he could meet up with his wedding officiant/planner. While Luigi and Daisy waited outside, Berkut was indoors seated at a table, hoping he wasn't told the wrong information.
"One Chicken Caesar salad and a glass of Guinness for you, good sir!" a waiter came over to serve Berkut with his food, placing the items on the table. "Are you waiting for someone?" the waiter curiously asked Berkut, noticing the paladin's facial expression.
"The officiant for my wedding is supposed to meet with me today," explained Berkut, as he took a sip of his Guinness...and spat it out on the floor. Maybe the drink was too strong for him. "Sorry about that. Anyways, I've never met him before, but he was recommended to me by a friend. Or more of an acquaintance. Let's just say I see this person around a lot, from where I live..."
"You're getting married? Congratulations! I would have everyone here congratulate you and your future wife, but I wouldn't put you on the spot like that." Berkut wouldn't mind the attention anyways. "So who's the lucky girl you're marrying?"
"Her name is Rinea, she's a noblewoman. Met her at a royal ball; her beauty drew me in. We danced the entire night away, and affirmed our love for each other. And my wedding, which is next week, shall serve as a culmination of..."
"Terribly sorry about punching you in the nose, old chap, just trying to ease the tensions before some tempers erupt. Make sure to give the chef my regards!"
Just then, a sharply dressed man approached Berkut, as he waved to someone at the back. Berkut watched as this man reached his table, as the waiter humbly moved out of the way. Who was this guy, you might ask?"
"So you must be Berkut, the paladin in which that lovely lady Aerith Gainsborough spoke of," the man said to Berkut, with a distinct British accent. "Allow me to introduce myself - Balthier's the name! Truly, my real name is Fframran mied Bunansa, but I prefer to go by Balthier - suits me more."
"I'm Berkut, though you knew that already," Berkut stood up to shake Balthier's hand, pleased to finally meet the sky pirate. "I take it that Aerith has been telling you good things about me? If she hasn't..."
"No, no, she's told me great things about you, Sir Berkut...unless she purposefully left out all the bad bits, in the event it would make me decline the offer. So, how about we take a seat and tell me everything I must know about this private wedding of yours?"
"Sure thing." Both Berkut and Balthier sat down, and Balthier would sample some of Berkut's Caesar salad. Dude didn't ask for permission, but that was the least of Berkut's concerns. "So, the woman I'm marrying next week...her name is Rinea, and she is the finest, most beautiful specimen I've ever laid my eyes on."
"Rinea, eh? Even the name itself sounds beautiful. You've made a very fine choice, Berkut. So have you thought about who the groomsmen and bridesmaids shall be? Hate to be the one doing all the planning..."
"Yes, I've given some thought - thought about having Mario, Luigi, and Olimar as the groomsmen, and Peach, Daisy, and Celica as the bridesmaids." No mention of Alm...interesting. "Haven't thought about who the flower girls and ring bearer will be."
"We will sort that out together very soon. But you are forgetting about one important role of the wedding...the best man. Who will it be?"
Berkut bit his lip nervously when asked by Balthier. He would elect Alm, but he hated Alm with a burning passion. But if not Alm...then who else?
Berkut: By NO means am I allowing Alm to have any role at my wedding. If Master Hand allowed me, I would ban Alm from even attending, for his presence would ruin my moment of a lifetime. Just seeing him seated with the others, smiling all happily, waiting for me to kiss Rinea...it would be vomit-inducing.
Luigi and Daisy were outside seated at a picnic table waiting for Berkut to finish business with his officiant. But the couple wouldn't be alone...for King Dedede was with them, eating some onion dip Luigi ordered for him from the Market Arms to make the penguin shut up.
"Man, this onion dip is slammin'!" exclaimed King Dedede, as he scarfed down a pot - yes, a pot - of onion dip, getting his robe all messy.
"You're even worse-a than Yuffie...never thought I'd say-a that," Luigi said to King Dedede, who was too busy consuming the onion dip to listen.
"Please don't be Waluigi, please don't be Waluigi, please don't be Waluigi..." pleaded Daisy, with her eyes closed and her fingers crossed.
King Dedede: Yeah, I totally went with Luigi, Daisy, and Berkut to the Market Arms place, just to check out their food. Nothing wrong with that. Due to my massive weight, I took up much of the room in the back of Luigi's Charger, and spared Berkut little to no breathing room! And if Berkut's officiant wants to take a ride in Luigi's car, then I might be regulated to the trunk...don't think I can even fit in there!
Berkut would exit the Market Arms, with a grin on his face, as Luigi and company looked up. King Dedede even stopped devouring the onion dip.
"Luigi, Daisy...King Dedede," Berkut began, still disgusted Dedede had to come along for the ride. "...I have some great news for you all. Well, it may not be great for you, but it's great for myself and Rinea...I would like to introduce you, to the officiant of my wedding...Balthier!"
"Hello!" greeted Balthier as he stepped out of the Market Arms, to greet Luigi and company. Daisy perked up and checked out Balthier, amazed by the spy pirate's looks, whose handsomeness even made King Dedede drop his pot of onion dip to the ground. "It is I, Balthier, famed sky pirate...I've been selected to be the officiant for Berkut's wedding, and I will also help this husband-to-be plan out his wedding. Although it will be private, it'll be one for the ages...and perhaps the record books!"
"Never seen a man so handsome and dreamy before..." Daisy said in a charmed tone, as she contained to stare at Balthier and analyze his handsomeness. Luigi saw this, and was disgusted; how could his own wife do him like that?
"I wish I could be just as handsome as that guy!" remarked King Dedede, also marveling Balthier's stunning good looks. That left Luigi even more disgusted.
"Okay now, no need to talk about me in third-person, I'm still here you know," Balthier smiled, sensing how his looks caught the attention of Daisy and King Dedede. "I get it, I'm a very handsome fellow, but I didn't expect something like this to happen this early."
"You think this is bad, I can only imagine how things will play out at my wedding," said Berkut, as Luigi frantically waved his hand in front of Daisy's face, attempting to get her attention. She was focusing on the wrong man! "Everyone would be looking at you, rather than Rinea and I...I won't allow it!"
"No worries, Berkut, I won't allow such a thing to happen either. Now are we heading to the Smash Mansion anytime soon? I must make my presence known right away!"
Once Daisy was done fawning over Balthier, Luigi drove Balthier and the others to the Smash Mansion in his trusty Charger. As he figured, King Dedede had to hitch a ride in the trunk of the vehicle; getting that obese penguin out of the trunk was harder for Luigi that it seemed.
Before Balthier could meet Master Hand and others, Luigi suggested that the sky pirate should be introduced to Mario first. The plumber, who was in consideration for being one of Berkut's groomsmen, had been preparing Lara for her departure back to London, after the tomb raider saw the mansion's teleportation device in the previous episode. Lara had designated today to be her last day in Seattle before returning to London...
...but alas, there was a major change of plans. And yes, it had everything to do with the teleportation device.
Proto Man: Teleportation device got scorched last night...almost to the point where it might not be fixable. Rosalina heard the smoke detectors go off, and smelt the smoke, and that's when we found out that the teleportation device caught on fire, somehow. Good thing is, we had some residents return to the mansion from North Korea before the device was destroyed...
Sonic: Guess who's back in Seattle? This guy! Yup, that's me! Now you're probably wondering how my pals and I managed to escape from North Korean jail, huh? Let's just say that Master Hand came through and saved our butts big time. Spooked the North Korean government into releasing us without bail, and then had Mega Man warp us back to the mansion in due time. Thankfully we returned before the device got destroyed, otherwise we would've been stuck in jail for a foreseeable future...
"Look on the bright-a side, Lara - you didn't have to worry about-a packing up that-a much belongings!" Mario said to Lara, who was in her room staring blankly at the television screen. She couldn't afford to wait another week to return to London. "Even then, you wouldn't need-a that crap - all you'll need-a to bring with you is you, yourself...and you!"
"The bloody teleportation device would be destroyed the night before I leave for London, wouldn't it..." sighed Lara, suspecting some very foul play involved. "Who in their right mind would want to destroy a teleportation device in the first place? Sounds fruitless if you ask me..."
"For all-a we know, the culprit could-a be Bowser...think about it. He might be so in love-a with you, that he refused to let-a you depart until you confess-a your love to him! Bowser is trying to steal-a your heart Lara...don't let him-a take it!"
"Mario, I'm truly starting to believe your obsession with Bowser is reaching levels of unpleasantness not meant to be obtained. Must you blame Bowser for each and every little thing?"
"Oh, Mario, we have a special visitor!" Peach called out from the living room. The princess couldn't have made that announcement at a more opportune time for Mario. "Come and see him!"
"I'll-a be back to answer your question, Lara," Mario assured the tomb raider as he left his room. Like he would even answer the question anyways. Mario would scamper to the living room and to the front door where Peach stood at, where a certain sky pirate was ready to greet the plumber.
"Well, if it isn't the famous Mario, of the Mushroom Kingdom!" exclaimed Balthier, as Mario was shocked to see the sky pirate standing at his own home. "Bit starstruck to see me, aren't you? It's not that often people have a dashing sky pirate like myself come to their front door. The name's Balthier - I'm the officiant for Berkut's wedding next week."
"M...M...My name is Mario!" Mario blurted out, as he eagerly shook Balthier's hand. He was definitely starstruck. "Oh wow, I never would-a expect to meet you in person! I've heard all sorts of great-a stories about you, about how you stole the Goddess's Magicite, and how you..."
"Yes, yes, I do have a lot of daring adventures up my sleeve...gives me the experience to deal with any danger that steps in my way. I know you're already aware of Berkut's wedding...has he told you about his plans to make you a groomsman?"
"Berkut never told me or my wife-a about his wedding plans...but I would love-a to be a groomsman. Did it once-a before, for my brother's wedding. I think we should-a have a meeting, to fully discuss the game-plan for the wedding."
"Splendid idea! We need as many attentive ears as possible - the more involvement, the better. Where shall this meeting take place? At the Smash Mansion, I presume?"
The meeting would indeed take place at the Smash Mansion, but more specifically at the mansion's meeting room, where everyone gathered. Outside of the meeting room, Balthier got a chance to speak with Master Hand, who was impressed by the sky pirate's suave nature and sense of style.
But although Balthier was named the officiant of the wedding, he had one more hurdle to overcome before he could secure the role. He had to answer a very important question from Master Hand, one that could very well change the fate of the universe as we know it...
"Is today...Pikachu Day?" Master Hand asked Balthier, who was standing with Berkut and Rinea. Answer this question correctly, and the officiant role was all for the taking for Balthier.
"Yes, Master Hand, today is definitely Pikachu Day," answered Balthier; you could feel Master Hand's approval for the sky pirate skyrocket. But the giant hand wasn't done just yet...
"Another question: when is Pikachu Day celebrated?" This one's for all the marbles...now or never. Answer this question wrong, and Berkut might have to search for another officiant.
"Pikachu Day is celebrated every day, Master Hand - a day so great, it deserves to be celebrated throughout the year!" Balthier would wink to Berkut and Rinea, who were both relieved.
"My man! Thank you for seeing the light, unlike those non-believing losers out there. Make me sick, all of 'em...congratulations, Balthier, the officiant role is now officially yours, as confirmed by yours truly!"
Rinea: Good thing you told Balthier about Pikachu Day, huh?
Berkut: Had to supply him with everything I know. Otherwise he would be forever dead to Master Hand. Didn't know celebrating Pikachu Day meant you were fit to serve as a wedding officiant...
Master Hand: So you're telling me that Balthier celebrates Pikachu Day, but that Olympian I spoke with last week never heard of such a day before...I bet he has a long history of taking PEDs. Must've done some wacky stuff to his brain. I feel for him.
Shortly after Balthier was done speaking with Master Hand, it was time for the meeting to begin. Master Hand was at the front of the room, along with Berkut and Rinea.
"Berkut and Rinea's wedding is set to begin next week, and we have found the man who shall officiate the wedding," explained Master Hand, lowkey taking credit for what Berkut did. "Ladies, contain yourself, for this guy is a heartstopper. Everyone give a warm welcome to Fframran mied Bunansa...or as he would like to be called, Balthier!"
"Greetings, denizens of the Smash Mansion!" greeted Balthier, as he appeared from behind Master Hand. He swooned all the ladies, from Peach and Daisy to Tsubasa and Kiria. Luigi had a death glare deadlocked unto Balthier, who waved to the crowd. "I am Balthier, the one and only, and I shall serve as the officiant of Berkut and Rinea's wedding. Now, before we can officially get this meeting underway, I must ask...how is everyone doing this afternoon?"
"We were doing fine until you showed up..." replied Geno, noticing how enthralled the ladies were by Balthier. Everyone else gave their own replies.
"Excellent! Good to hear! So since I'm the officiant, we must have three people serve as the groomsmen and bridesmaids...and thankfully, Berkut thought out who will serve those roles. Mario, Luigi, and Olimar, are you willing to be groomsmen?"
"You can count on us!" said Olimar, giving a thumbs up. Luigi kept glaring at Balthier, and Mario, seeing that Peach herself was enchanted by Balthier's looks, would find himself glaring at the sky pirate too.
"As for the bridesmaids...Peach, Daisy, and Celica, how would you ladies like to be bridesmaids?" Balthier then asked the three princesses, all of whom were analyzing how good-looking Balthier was.
"Anything you tell us to do, and we'll do it..." replied Celica, sighing lovingly as she gazed into Balthier's eyes. Alm saw this and was disgusted, but that wasn't the only thing he had a problem with...
"Hold on just a second, how is it that Olimar is a groomsman, and not ME?" the blue-haired fellow questioned, ready to throw rounds with Berkut if necessary. "I'm a married man for crying out loud! Mario goes with Peach, Luigi goes with Daisy...and I go with Celica! Olimar and Celica together, it's not meant to happen! If you want Olimar to be a groomsman, then make his wife come to the wedding, we never see her!"
"You're not a groomsman because I hate you Alm..." murmured Berkut; a pretty justifiable reason for not making anyone a groomsman. But unfortunately for Berkut, Balthier had something better in mind for Alm...
"Ah, Alm, the glorious swordsman from Valentia, Berkut has told me a lot about you!" exclaimed Balthier, as Alm cooled his tempers. Celica even stopped fawning over Balthier so she could soothe her husband. "Since we don't have any other options for a best man...how would you like to be serve as the best man for Berkut?" Berkut's eyes bulged when he heard this - no way he was gonna let that happen.
"Alm as my best man, what are you thinking?! That's almost like the mere equivalent of committing suicide! I'd rather have Lloyd Irving as my best man over the likes of Alm, he would easily ruin my wedding!"
"You don't know that, Berkut, I'm not a very destructive person. I'll just be the best man, what's the worst I could do? Poison the very drink that we would use during our toasts?"
"Not specifically but I wouldn't be surprised if you do that...and quite frankly, you should've been poisoned weeks ago. The fact that you're still here unnerves me..." And on that remark, Berkut stormed out of the meeting room. Rinea tried to pull her fiance back, but it was no use...Berkut was done.
Yoshi: Yeesh, Berkut is way more saltier than we give him credit for. Personally I wouldn't mind if my mortal enemy had to be my best man. Like the old adage goes, keep your friends close, and your enemies closer. Kinda like what I'm doing right now with my babe, a little bit. Right Birdo? *glances at a still unconscious Birdo, with his arm wrapped around her* See what I mean? Birdo completely understands.
"Okay then...back to the meeting!" said Berkut, bringing everyone's focus back to the meeting at hand. "We'll worry about Berkut later, but right now we have some more roles to fill. We need an usher, someone to greet the guests when they come to the wedding. Who would like to volunteer?"
"Um, Balthier, Berkut doesn't want any guests at his wedding, aside from the mansion residents," explained Rinea, much to Balthier's chagrin. "Said that he didn't want any 'low-class' losers in attendance...he's one of those upper class folk who look down upon anyone not on their level."
"He's one of those kind of people, eh...I suppose we can fulfill his wish. Now we need a flower girl and a ring bearer. Who should be the flower girl..." Balthier looked around the room, until his eyes set upon Coco Bandicoot, but most importantly the flower in her blonde hair. He pointed at the bandicoot, with a distinct flair. "You! How would you like to be the flower girl? You must have a penchant for flowers, yes?"
"Eh...I guess you could say that," shrugged Coco, whose true penchant was technology. And maybe karate. "This is my first experience doing anything at a wedding, let alone attending a wedding, so..."
"No need to fear, my blonde ponytail friend, for you will do just fine! And your brother, he can be the ring bearer. Though he looks to be on the erratic side...hopefully his floating mask friend will keep him from dropping the ring. I hope."
"Hey, that's not fair, how come Crash and Coco get to do something at the wedding, and I don't?" pouted Cortex, wanting to have his way. Just the thought of his arch-nemesis Crash having a wedding role made the mad scientist sick to his stomach. "Make me the usher, I'll make sure to let some upper-class folk in! Who knows, maybe even Bill Gates might show up!"
"My goodness man, your face is so ugly, it would make a beautiful flower wilt away...you should definitely be the usher, except instead of letting unwanted guests inside the wedding, you'll scare them away with your ugly visage!"
"Roasted," Uka sneered at Cortex, as the N head pouted even more and sat back in his seat with his arms folded. At least he got the usher job.
"Quick question, Balthier: will I have to pay any money for the wedding?" Wario raised his hand, hoping Balthier would say no. "I've pumped so much money into Mario and Luigi's weddings, that I don't have enough funds to maintain my speedo collection!"
"Berkut informed me that Fox and Falco of Star Records will be financing the wedding budget," stated Balthier, as Wario let out a sigh of relief. "Thanks to their clients, those pilots have enough money as it is to cover for anything. You won't have to pay a single dime!"
"Thank goodness, thought I was gonna have a heart attack...you can all ignore the part about the speedo collection. Sorry if I created any disturbing images in your minds. Not that any of you would mind...especially you, Lady Palutena." Wario muttered that last bit under his breath.
Pit: Wedding's shaping up nicely, I should say. Berkut isn't on board with Alm being his best man, but he'll get over it soon. But one thing I can't get over with is Lara not returning to Britain. I buy that woman a ticket to London as a Secret Santa gift, and some idiot had to burn it! And on the day Lara was supposed to return, the teleportation device gets lit up and destroyed - conveniently after Sonic and co. returned from North Korea. Got a sneaky suspicion whoever destroyed that ticket and the device was the same person...
Shortly after the meeting was over, Balthier went to go look for the groom, Berkut. The sky pirate was told by Cortex that Berkut might be in his room, but the paladin wasn't even there. Hopefully Berkut wasn't that distraught about the idea of Alm serving as his best man.
As Balthier searched for Alm, Samus walked down the hallway with a plasma gun she worked on in the workshop. The bounty hunter was about to head outside to see how effective her upgraded gun was, when she accidentally bumped into Balthier. The two were standing close to one another, as Samus looked at Balthier and Balthier looked at Samus.
"Have we...met before?" Samus asked Balthier, as she took a step back so she could get a full view of the sky pirate. "Feel like I've seen you before..."
"You were at the meeting where we discussed Berkut and Rinea's wedding," explained Balthier, forming a smile that almost made Samus crack...crack a smile herself. "Such a shame that you have forgotten..."
"Yeah, I must have forgot...my apologies. I can be very aloof sometimes. Master Hand is constantly doting on me for that..."
"Nothing wrong with that, it's all a part of being by yourself, in solitude. Everyone wants their time alone, to get away from the craziness that goes on in their lives."
"Wish I could get away. Life at the mansion is so hectic. There's drama taking place everyday it seems like. A long extended break away from the mansion would be nice."
"Trust me, we all deserve a break every now and then, can't be going at it forever. I must go - don't want Berkut to go MIA for the entire day. He can't be that upset about Alm as a best man...he shouldn't be upset about Alm as a best man."
"Well, good luck with finding Berkut...if you can. Nice speaking with you." Balthier smiled and nodded his head, as he and Samus went their separate ways.
Samus: *smiling* Gotta admit, Balthier looks kinda cute... *frowns immediately* ...but that's about it. Not like I would go with him on a date or anything.
During Mario's initial meeting with Balthier, the plumber had a friendly conversation with the sky pirate, and became such good friends with Balthier that he forgave him for keeping his wife Peach hooked with his handsomeness. Luigi, on the other hand, was very disapproving with Balthier from the get go when he saw the sky pirate for the first time. Mario was telling Fox, Falco, Donkey Kong, and Palutena all about Balthier in the gaming room, and how funny he was.
"So as it turns-a out, Balthier shares the same-a sentiments for saving princess that-a I do," Mario said to the four. "Gets tired-a from saving princess so often. Asked if there-a was a going rate for saving princess, and he was-a like, 'Food would be a good start - the good stuff, mind you.'" This resulted in laughter from the others.
"Balthier saves princess too...are you sure he isn't a plumber?" chuckled Donkey Kong, as Mario looked around guiltily. "Does he collect gold coins too?"
"At least Balthier knows how to dress to impress, that's something Mario hardly ever does," smiled Palutena, making Mario feel all bad about himself. What was so wrong with the classic blue overalls and red shirt?
"I dress-a to impress too, you all just haven't seen-a my wardrobe," Mario defended himself, having just about enough of the remarks. "Cappy picked most-a of my clothes out for me. I got chef attire, winter clothes, some golf-a gear...and even a wedding dress!" Palutena and company looked at one another, before bursting into laughter. Why did Mario have to mention that wedding dress for...?
"Heard my name from afar, accompanied by some laughing..." said Balthier as he showed up in the gaming room, still on the hunt for Berkut. "You're not making fun of the wedding officiant, are you? I hope not, I do know how to dish it back..."
"We weren't laughing at-a you, Balthier - we were just laughing at the fact-a that I own a wedding dress," clarified Mario, before realizing what he just said. Balthier glanced at the plumber inquisitively, as Palutena and company giggled. "...Peach's wedding dress."
"Owning your own wife's wedding dress, that's something I never would hear from a married man. No man would have the guts to say something like that."
"Maybe that's because Mario isn't a man himself - the clue is already in the wardrobe!" joked Falco, laughing at his own joke. Balthier stared at the avian pilot for a moment...before laughing himself. Soon enough he and Falco were laughing together.
"Ahaha, I can tell that you must be the comedian of the mansion! The wedding reception could use a little humor to spice things up. I should look into having you tell some jokes to the guests, to keep them entertained throughout."
Fox: Aw snap, Balthier thinks you're a comedian! How does that make you feel, Falco "Jerry Seinfeld" Lombardi?
Falco: Good, I guess...I didn't expect Balthier, or anyone else aside from me, to laugh at my own joke, but I'll take what I can get. Won't tear the house down at the reception with my jokes, but I'm hoping to rattle the foundation a little bit.
Next week's wedding would've been a great way to spread awareness about Pikachu Day...had Berkut opted to invite guests to his wedding aside from the residents. Regardless, Link and Sora were in the kitchen making Pikachu Cheesesteaks, as Zelda and Midna watched on.
"This is the reason why I had to take a three-week 'sabbatical' from Link," Midna explained to Zelda, as Link and Sora were busy doing their thing. "His whole fascination with Pikachu Day and those dumb cheesesteaks have made Link a changed person - he's making it infuriatingly hard to walk all over him! Link used to be the perfect lapdog, and now..."
"I'm positive this is just a phase of Link, he'll realize what he's doing and let this whole Pikachu Day thing go," said Zelda, though she didn't have the same feelings for Sora. "As for Sora...well, he's naive, so he's essentially lost."
"That's enough Pikachu Cheesesteaks for today, our work here is done..." announced Link, as he finished the last Pikachu Cheesesteak. The Hylian was standing next to a giant batch of his finest creations...creations he didn't inherently create himself. "Master Hand will undoubtedly be proud of the hard work we've done."
"Mind I ask where and how you're going to sell those cheesesteaks, within the city limits?" Zelda spoke up, folding her arms. "You've made so many of the cheesesteaks, and yet you keep them around so they can rot and spoil!"
"The more the merrier, Princess Peach - we're hoping to enough of the cheesesteaks in supply to sell to others in Seattle," explained Sora, as Zelda rolled her eyes. "We're waiting on Master Hand to find the perfect venue to sell the cheesesteaks, since that sub store apparently won't oblige. What was it called again?"
"Subway, it's called Subway," answered Link, as Mario and Balthier nonchalantly poked their heads through the kitchen entrance. "Sadly those Subway blokes don't know what they're missing out on - the biggest advertising campaign since the $5 footlong! Which, unfortunately, had to be cut short thanks to that weird pervert Jared. Nice going, Jared..."
"Sorry to bother you, but have any of you seen-a Berkut anywhere?" Mario asked Link and company, as Zelda was taken back by Balthier. Link had to watch his woman very carefully... "Poor guy stormed-a out of that meeting because of some-a silly disagreement..."
"I don't think any of us have seen Berkut around ever since, to be honest," replied Sora, as Balthier marveled at the pile of cheesesteaks. Hopefully he won't make Link the chef at the wedding reception - give those honors to Dunban instead. "Might've been so salty, he even cancelled the wedding entirely without telling anyone!"
"Let's hope he didn't consider that as an option," said Balthier, taking his gaze away from the cheesesteaks. "I don't feel like going on a wild goose chase for Berkut...I'll just wait for him to return, whenever he feels like it."
"How about I show-a you around the mansion, to kill some-a time?" asked Mario; Balthier was quick to oblige with a nod and a smile, as he followed Mario away from the kitchen. They would pass by Sonic, who glared at Balthier intensely. But what for?
Sonic: That Balthier thinks he can go around the mansion wooing ladies with his swagger and his handsome face? Even though he might be handsome, he could still be a total jerk in person. Just look at Jakob. I'll be keeping a close eye on Balthier, to see if he's in the business of sabotaging marriages.
Contrary to what most believed, Berkut didn't run away after hearing the idea of Alm being his best man - the paladin was still around the premises of the mansion. Pit would find Berkut when he and Kirby stepped inside Mario's home, and saw the paladin in the living room, brooding, while Lara was in the kitchen grabbing a bite to eat.
"There you are, Berkut, we've been looking all over for you!" exclaimed Pit, as Berkut continued to brood, looking down at the floor. "Well, I wasn't looking for you - I was too busy watching the rain and snow fall outside through a window. So satisfying, I tell you - you should try it! I take it Lara let you in through the front door?"
"He was apparently too angry to knock on the front door, so he broke the sliding doors in the back and made his way in," replied Lara, still in a downbeat move, as he grabbed a banana. "Don't tell Mario or Peach about what happened."
"I won't tell them, I promise...I'll just text them instead. No harm done there." Pit and Kirby would take a seat on the couch, the couch Berkut sat on; the paladin got up and moved over to another sofa. "So Lara, I heard that you were supposed to return to London today, correct?"
"Frankly that was the plan set in stone...but it didn't go the way that I wanted. Might have to wait another week or even a month until that teleportation device is fixed..evidently someone doesn't want me to leave. Probably Mario, I think he likes me too much."
"You may not know this, Miss Croft, but Pit bought you a plane ticket to London as a Secret Santa gift," explained Kirby, as Lara suddenly perked up and looked at Kirby in astonishment. "Lady Palutena was the one who purchased the ticket though, in case you might be wondering."
"A planet ticket...for London? Why, Pit, that was so thoughtful of you...whatever happened to the ticket? Did you lose it, did it blow away in the wind?"
"Actually, someone apparently burnt it to a crisp," replied Pit, which made Lara even more curious about the current situation. "But it kinda was my fault, in a way...shouldn't have hid the ticket in my piggy bank anyways. The piggy bank's pretty flammable, anyways."
"So first the ticket got set on fire, and then the teleportation device..." Lara took everything into consideration, deep in thought. "Perhaps it's not Mario who wants me to remain in Seattle..."
While Lara began to theorize about the culprit at hand, Mario took Balthier to the fitness room, and showed him around. There, Balthier showed off his athletic ability to the residents as he did push-ups...with just one hand.
"Wow, Balthier, you're pretty athletic for a sky pirate!" remarked Wii Fit Trainer, wowed by the pirate's athletic ability. "And you're pretty dreamy too..." As well as his dashing looks.
"Yeah, and you're always in shape too!" added Doc Louis, eating yet another chocolate bar. Her name was Claire. "What is your secret to being fit, Balthier?"
"Eat healthy and stay active, that's the way to go," responded Balthier, before switching hands. Mario looked on, feeling slightly jealous. "The same objectives you might've done in your youth, Doc Louis...before your chocolate obsession, I assume."
"I stay active by hanging off the traffic lights with my tail and doing crunches," stated Diddy Kong, somewhat proud of this fact. "Always ignore the sounds of the road when I'm in the zone..."
Diddy Kong: What I said back there, to Balthier, sounded stupid...stupidly AWESOME!
"So Balthier, what are some things you do to stay active?" Diddy asked the sky pirate, who was now doing clapping push-ups. What a show-off... "Do you run? Jog? Play hopscotch? Or is that beneath you?"
"I like to run and jog in my spare time - and I'm too old for hopscotch," replied Balthier, as he did the clapping push-ups with swift ease. "Due to my life as a sky pirate, I don't have that much time for physical activities..."
"Hey Balthier this might sound like a random question, but...do you hate fat people?" Hisui asked the sky pirate; overhearing this was Wario, who was eating a glazed doughnut in secret. He looked at Hisui with extreme anger, as he dropped his doughnut to the floor. "I absolutely HATE fat people!"
"Let me ask a normal, nicer question Hisui..." Leia said to the young man, pushing him out of the way as Hisui gave Leia the stink eye in disgust. "Balthier, is there by any chance that you are interested in sports? Because I consider myself to be a huge sports fan myself, and..."
"Can't say I like sports, they never had sports from where I'm from," responded Balthier, switching over to side to side push-ups and making Mario feel more slightly jealous than before. "But Mario did tell me that the hometown Seahawks are an elite football team...or so they used to be. At least they have that one championship, most other teams can't say that."
"Well Seattle has another sports team, called the Mariners...they're a baseball team. They're doing spring training at the Peiora Training Complex - you should go check it out one day, while you're in Seattle!"
"Maybe I should - would love to get a taste and feel for this town." As Balthier continued with his push-ups, Sonic would stare at the sky pirate from afar, through the fitness center entrance.
"I know what you're up to Balthier, and I'm gonna find out..." Sonic whispered loudly, almost dramatically...dramatic enough for Lucario, who walked by, to stare at Sonic with a concerned look before running away out of concern.
Next on the Smash Mansion tour was the gaming room, where Jigglypuff was practicing her singing. She would be performing, if there were those wiling to hear her sing.
"Jig, Jigglypuff...Jig, Jigglypuff..." the balloon Pokemon sang her heart out on the microphone, as Mario and Balthier walked by. After showing Balthier around, Mario would take his guest to Isabelle and Rinea, who were speaking together.
"Hi ladies - I take it that-a you're discussing next week's-a wedding?" Mario asked Rinea and Isabelle, who were both momentarily distracted Balthier. As is tradition throughout this entire episode.
"No, just enjoying some girl talk," smiled Rinea. Who has girl talk with a female shih tzu? "Say, Balthier, you've never been acclimated with Isabelle, have you? In case you have a grand idea about the wedding, and you're not sure how Master Hand would feel about it, then just share it with Isabelle. She's like a liaison to Master Hand."
"I'm always ready and willing to help out if you need any assistance, Balthier!" smiled Isabelle, excitedly wagging her tail. To be working with a handsome man such as Balthier...it was like a dream come true.
Regardless, Sonic felt Balthier was up to no good, as the hedgehog was now in the gaming room staring down Balthier suspiciously. As he continued to stare, Tails would fly by on his propeller tails, noticing his best friend.
Sonic: I see what Balthier's up to...he's trying to make everyone a fan of his by doing cool and awesome things, to make everyone think he's the coolest cat around! That way, when he does something like sabotage Berkut's wedding or destroy the Space Needle, nobody would fault him because of how "cool" he is. Making a sucker out of everyone!
"Sonic what are you doing, why are you looking at Balthier like that?" Tails asked the blue blur, who kept his stare on Balthier locked in. Almost to the point where he wasn't even blinking!
"I suspect that Balthier is Jakob 2.0...only here to start some ruckus!" stated Sonic, watching Balthier laughing it up with Mario, Rinea, and Isabelle. Watching it made him sick to his stomach. "This is only just the beginning!"
"Balthier hasn't done anything that would suggest he would go down the Jakob route, and I don't know who he would be secretly working for. Besides, Balthier's a genuinely good guy, unlike Jakob who could never get along with anyone."
"Not every villain has to have poor people skills, you know - there's different breeds of villainy out there. Some are friendly, some are distant, and some are just plain weird. I know Balthier's got something up his sleeve, and I won't stop till I find out what it is!"
"Are you suggesting the idea of following Balthier closely until you find out his true intentions? Haven't you learned your lesson from last week, Sonic? You landed yourself and the others in jail for following an innocent person around!"
"That was in North Korea...this is America. Same thing, different rules and consequences. I will find out what Balthier's full intentions are, one way or another..."
The next stop on the mansion tour would be the arcade room, where Fox and Falco were the Balloon Fight arcade game. Most times when the pilots played against one another, it was always one friend trying to win over the other...but this time, Fox and Falco were playing for the fun of it, rather than caring about victory.
"Nice job at making the wedding officiant laugh, Falco my man," Fox commended his best buddy as his Balloon Fighter got devoured by a giant piranha, only for his character to respawn seconds later. If only that worked in real life. "Didn't expect that, did you?"
"Honestly I was surprised Balthier even laughed, thought he would find my joke about Mario to be tasteless," stated Falco, defeating all the enemies on the screen. "It wasn't my intention to bash Mario's manliness like that...should've known better to bash a man with a mustache and a hot wife. Don't think Mario took my joke well though."
"Ah, if it isn't the funny man himself!" exclaimed Balthier, as he and Mario entered the arcade room. Falco got nervous the moment Balthier spoke, and became even more nervous as the sky pirate approached him. "How about you tell me another joke, make me laugh? Give me your best shot!"
"You want a joke, you got it..." Falco mentally prepared himself, hoping he wouldn't screw things up. "What do you call a Mexican who..."
"Mario, Mr. Game and Watch got his head stuck in the ceiling," Aerith ran by the arcade room to inform the plumber. "He could really use your help!"
"Have to leave so soon?" Balthier asked Mario, who nodded his head. "Well then, I guess we can return to this place another time. Looks fun." Balthier turned his attention to Falco, who was all sweaty for no reason. "I expect to hear the rest of the joke, Mr. Comedian Guy. Don't let me down!" On that remark, Balthier and Mario followed Aerith out of the arcade room, as Falco let out a breath of fresh air.
"So Falco, what do you call a Mexican?" Fox asked his avian friend, dying to know the answer. Falco looked around nervously; clearly he didn't know.
"I...I have no idea whatsoever," replied Falco, holding his head in shame. He was close to blowing his opportunity...
Aerith would take Mario and Balthier down to the foyer, and she pointed up at the ceiling where Mr. Game and Watch's head was stuck. His 2-D body kept moving around, but nothing he did worked.
"Long story story, Mr. GW tried to remove this Snorlax, yet he somehow bounced on his belly and came flying up to the ceiling," Cloud, who was already at the foyer, explained to Mario. "I already had Ryu help me move the Snorlax to the Pokemon sanctuary, almost broke my back..."
Cloud: Yeah, about that whole Zack Fair clone thing...I haven't thought about it as much in the past few days. When I do think about it, however, it just sounds so ridiculous, so comical...I've allowed too many things to be put inside my head, and it's been a strong habit of mine for much of my life. Am I depressed? Nah...
"Yes, carrying that fat Pokemon was bad for my back - almost crushed my lumbar spine!" stated Ryu as he entered the scene, massaging his lower back. Snorlax must be Hisui's least favorite Pokemon. "But in spite of that, Cloud and I got the job done, and now we must focus our attention on poor Mr. Game and Watch up above. A leaping shoryuken should do the trick!"
"Did I hear someone say 'shoryuken'?" asked Mr. Game and Watch, his voice terribly muffled. "Can we please not resort to those measures? Don't want to risk dying..."
"But you're a 2-D man, Mr. Game and Watch, you're practically invincible! Not even the mightiest Flamethrower from a Groundon could make you perish. Also, how were you able to hear me, with your head stuck in the ceiling?"
"Well, uh, it's because, um...huh, never really thought of it. Maybe my sense of hearing is just that keen." Mr. Game and Watch moved around a bit more, as bits of the ceiling came falling down. "I would love to be rescued today, you guys..."
"Hang in there, Mr. Game and Watch, we're gonna get you out there soon," Aerith called out to the 2-D man, before kneeling down at Mario to ask the plumber a favor. "May we borrow your FLUDD device, Mario?"
"If you-a must, you can," replied Mario, taking out his FLUDD and handing it to Aerith. "Just remember to not run-a out of water - FLUDD will act-a very dramatic if you do. Just a fore-a warning." After giving away his FLUDD, Mario looked up at Balthier. "Shall we continue with our tour?"
Mario would take Balthier to the mansion gardens, and showed the sky pirate around and stuff. While the two were watching Olimar and Alph tending to the flowers, Falco came running to Balthier, who turned around when he heard the pilot approaching.
"Mr. Funny Guy, you have returned!" exclaimed Balthier, noticing how more prepared Falco was compared to the previous encounter. "Came to finish your joke? Or do you have an even better one in store for me?"
"I wouldn't say that I have a joke..." replied Falco, worrying Balthier for a moment. "...but I do have quite a story to tell ya!" Just like that, Balthier's worry was gone.
Falco: Wrote down an awesome joke I know Balthier would love. A joke that's funny, hip, and pretty modern.
"Alright, so get this - the quarterback for Seahawks is actually also a baseball player," explained Falco, as Sonic entered the gardens and tiptoed over to Balthier unsuspectingly without being seen. "He got traded to the New York Yankees, which is arguably the greatest baseball team in like, ever. Guy's talking about how baseball is 'in his blood', and I was thinking..."
"Look, my friend, I'm not into sports so I don't like talking about sports in general," stated Balthier, as Sonic hid behind a giant flower pot that was close to Falco. "You're supposed to be the funny guy, not the sports nut! I like you more as the guy who makes people laugh."
"I'm not here to take any reputations, mind you." Falco tried to play it cool, as he rested his elbow coolly on the giant flower pot. "What I was intending to do was..." Falco's elbow caused the flower pot to move and touch Sonic, and Sonic, who thought his cover was blown, sped away as the flower pot came falling to the ground, along with Falco. The flower pot crashed and broke, as Olimar and Alph looked on.
"Dang it, we just got that flower pot two days ago!" frowned Olimar, stomping his foot on the ground aggressively. "It was the best of its kind, too! You can't find flower pots of that size anywhere else!"
"Not leaving them out in the open would probably be our best idea," remarked Alph, as Olimar cooled down. Then all of a sudden, Balthier started laughing, as Falco rose up to his feet, covered in soil.
"Hahaha, now that's what you call funny!" laughed Balthier, as Mario found himself laughing too. Cappy even appeared from Mario's head so he could laugh too. "Two thumbs up! You sure know a thing about slapstick, don't you?"
"They don't call me funny for a reason, hehe..." Falco chuckled nervously, scratching the back of his head. Mario would look past Falco, and saw Sonic, trying to leave the premises.
"Sonic is that-a you?" the plumber called out to the hedgehog, who turned and saw a curious Mario. No point in maintaining any eye contact.
"Oh, would you look at the time - Amy must be calling me!" said Sonic, as he sped away from the gardens. So close, yet so far away.
Once Mr. Game and Watch was down from the ceiling and Mario got his FLUDD back from Aerith, Cloud would follow Mario and Balthier to the movie room, where Mario gave the swordsman the honors of explaining stuff.
"So this is essentially the video library of the mansion - all sorts of movies can be found here," Cloud explained to Balthier, who was too busy checking out the wide array of movie selections. "You can even use some of the contraptions to transport yourself into a movie, but I personally wouldn't risk it...every great thing has some major consequences."
"Did Master Hand himself select all these movies?" asked Balthier, not wanting to stop looking through all the movies available. "If so, then he has quite a taste for culture and entertainment! Very exquisite taste!" Captain Falcon would enter the movie room, and spot Balthier from a distance.
"Hey, wedding officiant guy, Balthier!" the racer greeted the sky pirate, slapping him on the back to garner his attention. Balthier looked up at Falcon, greeting him with a smile. "Liking this mansion so far? Excellent! Never met a visitor who said no, unless they were killed by Master Hand and I never saw them. I recommend coming over for Movie Night, you won't regret it!"
"Only if time allows me, I'll come," responded Balthier, before getting a good look of Captain Falcon. "Hmm...toned muscles, excellent build, manly bravado...by the looks of it, you could be a bona fide movie star!"
"You really think so?! Oh man, that is such a great gesture, especially from you! Too bad Samus thinks otherwise, then again she seldom watches movies so she knows nothing...but WOW! Thanks a bunch, Balthier!"
Mario: Do I think Balthier will-a be a great officiant? *thinks* Not even close...I think he'll-a be a STUPENDOUS officiant.
His day having been made, Falcon strutted his stuff as he left the movie room, like he was a stylin' and profilin' son of a gun. He would come across Nowi, his loving and carefree girlfriend.
"So Falcon, did you find it, that Notebook movie?" Nowi asked the racer, who was smiling from ear to ear. "You know, the one for our 'private screening' together?"
"Even better - Balthier said that I could be a movie star!" exclaimed Captain Falcon, as he struck a pose. "I can see my name in the headlines, all over Hollywood, up there will all the other stars! It's what I was destined to do!"
"Let's not get ahead of ourselves now, my deluded boyfriend," smiled Nowi, as he grabbed Captain Falcon and escorted him down the hallway.
Mario would take Balthier up the elevator to the fifth floor, where the next stop of the mansion tour belied - the Star Records room. There, Balthier got a chance to speak with everyone affiliated with Star Records, from the idol singers and Knuckles to Asuka and even Big Top. It was also there that the sky pirate got to speak with the three heads, Itsuki, Fox...and Falco.
"Got anything to make me laugh, funny guy?" Balthier asked Falco; usually Falco would be stuck on what to do to make Balthier laughed, but now it appeared as if Falco found his calling...
"Since you seem to enjoy some quality slapstick..." Falco began, as he took a step forward...only to slip and fall and fall on his back. Balthier laughed as Falco got up, only to slip and fall again. Falco then grabbed Big Top, and tried to do a balancing act on top of him, only to fall and do a split in the process. That made Balthier laugh even more.
"Yes, yes, keep it coming!" pleaded Balthier, as Falco ran to the nearest wall and crashed his body against it. Falco fell to the floor and laughed along with Balthier, as Tsubasa and the idol singers looked on.
"Not sure if Balthier's laughing with Falco or at Falco..." Tsubasa had this to say as the laughing persisted.
Falco: Mr. Funny Man...not a bad title. Though Mr. Funny Bird sounds more correct, in my opinion.
It was about dinnertime, and Berkut had yet to return to the mansion. Same could be said for Pit and Kirby, who remained at Mario's home to provide "moral support" for Lara. That was Pit's excuse, anyways - Kirby just didn't want Pit to be all alone.
"I just don't understand - Mario has enough money to pay the bills and even afford a car, so why can't he just buy me a plane ticket to London?" wondered Lara, seated at the dining table eating some dinner she cooked herself. Mario and Peach were over at the mansion, having dinner with Balthier.
"Mario is lowkey terrible at managing his own money, so I wouldn't fault him," answered Pit, watching television with Kirby. Berkut kept on brooding.
"What about Wario - he's the richest person in the mansion, and you're telling me he's too frugal to buy me a ticket?"
"Wario's too cheap to even buy himself a pack of Mentos from the nearby dollar store. His budget is ridicolously small."
"And Fox and Falco have raised bundles of money from Star Records, they could've worked together to buy me a ticket!"
"Master Hand's always stealing money from Star Records, so Fox and Falco are overtly cautious about their money. The stolen money is only used for the Lamborghini anyways, and Master Hand can't even drive it, so he has random people drive it for him. Had Alm step behind the wheel on Wednesday."
"Alm...Alm...just hearing that name makes me want to vomit," seethed Berkut; did he have anything better to do? "He's not deserving to be the ruler of Valentia, let alone the best man at my wedding. Poor choice by Balthier..."
"You know you can just personally ask Balthier to select someone else to be your best man, right?" Pit told Berkut, who looked up at the angel. "It's your wedding, not his...you can always select another worthy candidate!" Berkut looked at Pit very intently, and it got him thinking...
"Yes, I now know what I must do, I can see the light shining in my face!" Berkut dropped the brooding mood in a hurry as he stood up, before running out the door. "Thank you Pit, for allowing me to see what I must do!"
"You're...welcome?" replied Pit, as Berkut exited Mario's home and headed over to the mansion.
At the Smash Mansion, Dunban treated everyone to some steaks, and he gave the guest of the evening, Balthier, the best steak out of everyone else's. You know, to make him feel special. Balthier chatted it up with the Mario and the residents, telling them about his adventures.
"Vaan and I, we didn't intend to steal from the palace treasury - or at least I didn't intend to steal," Balthier said to the residents, who were attentively listening. Sonic watched Balthier rather suspiciously, analyzing his every motive. "I just told him to hand over the Magicite, and that's when the Ifrit attacked us."
"I've heard that Ifrits are some of the most powerful beings in existence, what with their mastery of fire," stated Meta Knight; Cloud could agree with that. "But we all know you had zero issue fighting that beast."
"Actually, I never got the chance to fight the Ifrit...but I would've made it submit anyways." Sonic rolled his eyes at Balthier's remark, as R.O.B. approached Balthier with a tray of carrots.
"STEAMING HOT CARROTS...FROM THE HEAD CHEF HIMSELF..." R.O.B. said to Balthier, who was delighted by the kindhearted offer.
"Much appreciated...but I'm afraid I can't have those carrots. Do tell Dunban I appreciate his offer. Tell him that I have a..."
"How about you try some regular carrots, then!" said Sonic, grabbing his carrots and hurling them at Balthier. The sky pirate saw this, and blocked the carrots with his plate. Such great reflexes!
"Sonic, cut that out, Balthier has a carrot allergy!" frowned Rosalina, as Sonic sat back down in his seat. "That's what he told me, anyways. Why would you throw those carrots in the air like that?"
"Nobody had an issue with the air until now, so that's your loss Rosalina, and Balthier's loss as well. And you didn't even tell Dunban about this allergy? Shame!"
Leia: An allergy to carrots? Yeah, it might sound weird...but unfortunately such things exist.
"Balthier, I've made up my mind, I've come to a decision!" announced Berkut as he entered the dining room, before things could escalate.
"About time you returned, Berkut," remarked Rinea, having already reserved a seat for her fiance. "Where have you been all this time? You weren't being unhappy about the Alm thing, were you?!"
"Admittedly, I was upset...but I'm over it now, for good. Balthier, I humbly accept Alm to be my best man, to make my wedding ceremony with Rinea a special one." This announcement perplexed many, as there were murmurings among the dinning table. What made Berkut change his mind so quickly?
"Figured you would come around eventually," smiled Balthier, as he stood up to make an announcement. "Ladies and gentlemen, Alm will serve as Berkut's best man during the wedding ceremony next week. All the positions for the ceremony have finally been set!" Alm got up from his seat, heading over to Berkut to thank him, but Berkut quickly gave him the hand.
"Not today," the paladin said to his arch-nemesis, who slowly backed away cautiously.
Berkut: Let's just say that in regards to Alm as my best man...we might see a "bait-and-switch" take place before the wedding begins...
Balthier: *takes a bite from a Pikachu cheesesteak* This sandwich is better than expected... *takes another bite* ...the cheese is just right, and the peppers are on point... *takes another bite* ...oh, yes, Alm being the best man! What with the short timeframe, Alm doesn't have much to do, aside from choosing Berkut's attire and providing emotional support. Other than that, he'll be fine. *takes another bite, with Sonic spying on him in the background* Mmm, so good...