Been a long time. I've...honestly had zero motivation to write. I got nothing in me to be frank. Deployment is going fine, cool job for sure, just feeling...Idk, it's a mix. Here's a short oneshot.

"It's all his fault..."

"What is?"

"Every bad thing that's ever happened." Jaune sat looking down at the ground, Ruby sat across from him with a sad gaze.

"Do you really believe that?"

"I also know it's a lie. Something I've been whispering to myself since...since I can remember."

"Jaune, why do you think you've been lying to yourself?" Jaune chuckled morosely rising to his feet.

"Cause the truths so much harder to face Ruby!" He slammed a fist into the wall, droplets of tears welling on his face.

"If I'm doing this to myself, the real truth is...is..."

"What is it Jaune?"

"I'm fucking drowning Ruby! And I can't stop asking myself, why do I hate myself so much?!"

"Jaune.."

"I know why I hate myself...it's cause everything I touch I ruin!"

"Jaune...it wasn't your fault..."

"She was MY PARTNER RUBY! I should've done more! And what can I say for myself now? Constantly rewatching her recordings? Her voicemails in some small hope that she'll magically appear again? If she would've never met me Pyrrha would be standing here alive! She should be here! Not me!" Ruby got up grabbing his hands.

"You need to forgive yourself Jaune. Please. We need you." Jaune blinked, tears flowing down his cheeks, shaking his head.

"I can't... I don't know how to... I don't know where to begin..." Jaune pulled away.

"Jaune where are you going?"

"I shouldn't be here...I shouldn't be here..." Jaune stormed out the door leaving Ruby behind, he broke into a sprint, the inn fading behind him running until he came upon a plateau, the shattered moon shining brightly clear in the sky.

"Pyrrha...what's the point? Why are we even doing this? It's pointless...we're not going to fix what happened to Beacon...we're not gonna be able to bring you back...why am I even doing this?"

The question hung in the air, answered only by the soft rustling of the wind.

"I should just give up...I'm nothing but a selfish, pathetic excuse of a huntsman...you...you were everything I wanted to be Pyrrha...and...and it's all my fault...all my fault why you're not here...I wasn't strong enough to help you, I could've at least died with you like a good partner should. I'm nothing but a burden, I slow everyone else down...they don't know what it's like...to have someone else death ringing in your conscience..."

The wind picked up slightly, Jaune sat down hanging his head low.

"I'm...I'm sorry Pyrrha...I'm sorry."

It's short I know. Depressing yes. I'm gonna try to write more this week hopefully. We'll see.