Author's Note:
Next Thursday is my birthday, so I'm planning on having next week's chapter published sooner than usual. A little heads up. Now for the reviews:
"Have any of the WarioWare characters shown up yet? Is Mona from WarioWare going to be paired up with Wario? Will Pikachu day ever end? Can you include an E3 or ComicCon chapter? And finally, will the BlazBlue characters debut in the next chapter? (Since Blazblue: Cross Tag Battle is out now)"
Not yet. Probably not. Pikachu Day might end sooner than you expect. Too late for an E3 chapter, but a ComicCon chapter is always on the table. Unfortunatley, the BlazBlue characters will debut another time, since I've already decided on what to do for chapter 131 after watching the Nintendo Direct. Here's the other guest review:
"when mario and friends face calamity ganon could you make lubba and starship mario come to help them by the way this is my favorite fanfic never seen anything as good as dis plz dont stop writing"
First off, thanks for the kind words, always appreciate feedback. Lubba would be great assistance for Mario and company. Starship Mario, though, might have to be left out of the equation...
Episode 130: Ganondork
Touma's new and improved teaser was...well, let's just sya that it didn't take the direction Touma had intended. The redhead, who wanted to beat up the members of Straight Fiyah, to prove the worth and mightiness of his squad, saw his plans derailed, after a performance from Lucina and company made Roy shook. So shook, that it nearly left the swordsman despondent for much of the weekend.
To substitute for Straight Fiyah, Touma asked King K. Rool if he could borrow his Kremlings for the teaser, and Rool was quick to oblige. However, for whatever reason, Rool had no idea that he willingly agreed to let his henchmen take a beating, all in the name of promoting an online series, which was why he caught a ton of flak from the Kremlings after the teaser was done filming.
Nonetheless, the teaser was uploaded to YouTube, and accumulated just as much viewership as the previous one. And now that he was in the groove, Touma was ready to embark on actually filming his series, for the whole entire world to see. But first, he needed a villain - Dr. Cortex was intended to be the main villain, but had a falling out with Fox, Falco, and Itsuki after complaining about whether he would get paid or not. You know how most villains do things out of greed and self-worth. As for the other intended villain, Daruk, he was back in ancient Hyrule, so bringing him to and fro from the mansion would be tedious.
But thanks to an extensive search, Fox, Falco, and Itsuki found the guy to replace Dr. Cortex. A guy...named Shovel Knight. Yeah...
"Thou lads have made a great choice in finding a villain, a great choice indeed!" exclaimed the knight of high honor, as he spoke with Fox, Falco, and Itsuki in the Star Records room that afternoon. "'Tis a great decision you have made, a fine decision no doubt!"
"Don't get so jovial, Shovel Knight - we only selected you because of a recommendation," stated Fox, before pinching the crown of his nose in disgust. "A recommendation we shouldn't have considered in the first place..."
"Yes, yes, 'tis true, but like thou said, you were left with little to no options, literally anyone could do. I may not be cut out for being a villain, given my heroic purists, but I shall make the most of my every opportunity!
Pit: I was the one who recommended to Fox and Falco that Shovel Knight should be the main villain for Touma's show. I mean, think about it! Having a shovel alone makes Shovel Knight the most evil knight in his land! Sure some might find him "heroic", but anyone who beats people senselessly obviously isn't right in the head. That rhetoric easily applies to Shovel Knight.
"As you know, since you're the villain of the show and all, there are certain things you can and cannot do," explained Falco, although Shovel Knight knew what his limitations were. Or at least he thought he knew. "Your job is to strike terror and fear in the protagonists, incite them enough to make them want to kick your behind!"
"Easier said than done, my boy - my shovel strikes terror and fear already in my many opponents!" proclaimed Shovel Knight, holding up his shovel to the heavens with heroic might. Might wanna cut down on that heroism. "If it can do that to them, then it can do it to anyone in my way!"
"Yes, that's the spirit, that's what we wanna see!" smiled Itsuki, easily intrigued by Shovel Knight's enthusiasm even if he wasn't the top notch candidate for the villain role. "Though you should work on being angrier. Anger will make you a more serious villain."
With the heads of Star Records speaking with Shovel Knight, everyone else was down in the dining room, having lunch. Today's lunch, wait for it, doughnut burgers - sandwiches with a hamburger patty, bacon, and cheese between two glazed doughnuts. Mario headed over to the mansion to try out these breakfast sandwiches, hoping they were as great as Cilan had advertised. That Cilan, trying to kill his fellow residents...
"Calamity Ganon...Calamity Ganon..." uttered Mario as he was eating his doughnut burger in the dining room, with a thousand mile stare on his face. The plumber was too distracted to know that eating those doughnut burgers was a heart attack just dying to happen.
"So, uh, Mario, how was your 'preparatory' prostate exam?" Isabelle asked the plumber, wanting to spark a conversation with him so she could break him out of his trance. Also, why did Mario receive a prostate exam in the first place, how old was he?
"It was-a great, though the doctor went-a a little too far down my butt-a hole." It looked like Isabelle was successful - Mario snapped out of his trance instantly. "Calamity Ganon..." However, the name Calamity Ganon still had space reserved in his mind.
"You okay, Mario, is everything alright?" Zelda asked the plumber out of concern, as he walked over to him and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. She hadn't seen Mario this shook before.
"Calamity Ganon is coming soon-a Princess Zelda, and he - or it - might-a destroy the mansion." Everyone knew Calamity Ganon was coming, and everyone knew it was bound to show up at any given minute. What was Mario dabbling on about?
"Of course we know Calamity Ganon is coming - you forced us to attend a freaking meeting about Calamity Ganon, for crying out loud!" stated Wolf, having finished off three doughnut burgers. Better hope his cholesterol levels were low. "It's gonna kill us, isn't it?"
"Yes, O'Donnell, but only if-a we don't act soon. Calamity Ganon is like a sleeping lion, growing in-a power, ready to strike-a at any given minute. We must-a be prepared, and remain-a vigilant, for whatever happens!"
"We've never seen this worried about Calamity Ganon before, Mario," stated Coco, paying close attention to the plumber's body language. "Did you find out something big?"
"Indeed-a I have...for while I was-a in the waiting room of the doctor's-a office, I was reading this-a tome Impa had given me..." Mario held up the tome, for everyone to see; it had the Triforce on the cover, so obviously it was of Hylian origin. "...a tome detailing everything we need-a to know about Calamity Ganon!"
Mario: For much-a of my life I always-a assumed that Bowser was the greatest-a villain ever, given his-a longevity and implied immortality. But know, he has to be-a second on that list. Sephiroth might have-a him beat for that spot, though. As for Dr. Cortex...he's-a at the very bottom.
Impa: Since Mario wasn't that concerned about Calamity Ganon, I had to "teach" him about Calamity Ganon - and teach him I did, when I gave him that tome to read prior to his doctor's appointment. The tome was given to me by some old man, who only wished to be addressed as "old man"...he must have an extremely embarrassing name. No shame in hiding it.
"Does that tome say when Calamity Ganon will strike?" asked Pit, completely missing what Mario had said earlier. Then again, it's Pit - he always misses the most important points and topics.
"No it does-a not, for this-a tome is merely a history book of Hyrule," replied Mario, as he flipped through the pages of the tome for dramatic effect. Or just because he wanted the residents to be mesmerized. Or maybe he wanted to get rid of some dust. "It only speaks-a of how powerful-a Calamity Ganon truly is, and how it ravaged-a Hyrule for years."
"I'd say we stop talking about Calamity Ganon for now - all this talk is going to diminish the mood," Sonic spoke up, standing up from his chair. "Why don't we save this conversation for another time, and worry about that tome later?" Amy, who was seated next to Sonic, nodded her head.
"Sonic's right - if we focus too much on this Calamity Ganon, whatever he is, then we won't be able to focus on the positives," expressed the pink hedgehog. Maybe that's what Mario did in the previous episode - keeping his mind off of Calamity Ganon so he could focus on the brighter things in life. "I came here to hang out, now hear about some ugly Ganon incarnate that's probably even uglier than Ganondorf himself!" Ganondorf glared at Amy, upon hearing this.
"Fine-a then, suit yourself," said Mario, as he closed the tome. He would place it in his imaginary pocket, but perhaps it was too heavy. "We shall have another discussion-a regarding Calamity Ganon another time. For now, finish-a your lunch..."
Following lunch, the cast of Force Five met at some undisclosed location in Seattle, ready to start filming. Present with them were the three Star Records heads, the villain, Shovel Knight, and the director, Eleonora.
"Do you honestly believe the viewers will take Shovel Knight seriously as a villain?" Yashiro whispered to Touma, as Shovel Knight was striking a variety of poses with his shovel. Not very typical behavior you'd expect from a villain.
"King Dedede looks more like a nesting doll with duck lips and severe obesity problems than a villain, yet people still take him seriously," replied Touma, leaving Yashiro to mull over the redhead's retort. "I'd say Shovel Knight is on the same degree of eccentricty as King Dedede, so it evens it out..."
"Eh, I guess you're right..." Yashiro turned to face Fox, Falco, and Itsuki, with Fox on his cellphone texting like a maniac. Must be his woman, Krystal. "Hey guys, when will we start filming?"
"We won't start until our 'secondary villain' shows up," Eleonora answered for the Star Records heads; the secondary villain was obviously Daruk's replacement. "Fox won't stop texting him until he..."
"Sorry for the late arrival guys, but I finally made it!"
Fox immediately stopped texting, as everyone turned their attention to the secondary villain, arriving at the scene. Much like Shovel Knight, he was a good guy who did not fit the criteria for being a villain, but was a choice made due to the lack of available options. This secondary villain, was none other than...Donkey Kong.
"Fox you really need to stop sending me so many texts," the gorilla said to the pilot, holding up his cellphone. The inbox had more than a dozen messages, all from Fox. "I am under Cranky Kong's phone plan...and he's gonna kill me because of you!"
"We don't know that, and besides, that old coot has lost a step since his glory days," said Fox; Cranky Kong may have grown much older since his days of kidnapping women, but that geezer could still kick butt. "But anyways, it's about time you showed up. First, you must get acclimated to the fellow villain, your partner-in-crime...Shovel Knight."
"That guy is your villain?" Donkey Kong felt like he needed to laugh, but he didn't want to hurt Shovel Knight's feelings. "Man, I thought your standards were low when you chose me, but now..."
"Yeah, you and Shovel Knight aren't cut out to be villains, but the show must be done," stated Falco. "Now go stand next to Shovel Knight, so Eleonora can snap some publicity shots. They might come in handy later." So Donkey Kong headed over to Shovel Knight, who already had a pose ready for the camera.
"No more texts, got it?" the gorilla said to Fox on his way to Shovel Knight; Fox responded with two thumbs up.
Donkey Kong: Unfortunately Cranky's cellphone plan is cheap as heck, so Diddy and I have to send and call as little as we possibly can. What's worse is that the phone bill spikes dpending on how many characters we use in our text messages. For that reason, I have to type in abbreviations, such as BTB, which means "bring those bananas", and even "bring that booty". *pauses* ...I solely use the latter for Candy only, I promise you.
Mr. Game and Watch arguably had the hardest job out of anyone at the mansion, what with him being the groundskeeper. Not only did he take care of the mansion itself, but he also had to take care of the outdoor extremities. Recall in the previous episode, when the 2-D man was dusting and vacuuming at the same time. Obviously he couldn't do everything himself.
To alleviate the workload Mr. Game and Watch endured - a workload the 2-D man didn't mind, to be honest - Master Hand gave the groundskeeper an assistant. The giant hand believed that if Layton had an assistant in Luke, why wouldn't Mr. Game and Watch have an assistant too? That is why he hired Dark Pit to work under Mr. Game and Watch's tuteledge, to minimize the work the 2-D man did.
"Dark Pit, how come this toilet paper is only half a ply?" Doc Louis barked at Dark Pit, holding a roll of toilet paper. Half-ply toilet paper was an issue Doc Louis had to deal with, and he always complained to Mr. Game and Watch, who would never give him an answer. That is why the boxing trainer went off of Dark Pit, hoping he had the answer to his problems.
"Is half-ply toilet paper not good enough for your precious anus?" asked Dark Pit, with a snarky smile on his face that made Doc Louis scowl. Flora, performing her maid duties, saw Dark Pit speaking and approached him, standing next to the doppelganger with a duster in her hands. "Acting like your anus is so precious...anuses don't need to be babied. Look at Mario, for example, when he had his prostate exam today."
"Excuse me, Doc Louis, but could you perhaps unspool a little more next time use the bathroom?" suggested Flora, as Doc Louis turned to face the maid with his scowl. Made the maid scared for her life. "We have enough toilet paper, so you can unspool as much as you need to..."
"This is a mockery, a straight up mockery! First they won't let you drink from the water fountain. Then they won't let you sit at restaurants. Then they won't let you sit at the front of the bus! And now, they won't you use two-ply toilet paper! Utterly shameful what they have done to the black man, all these years..." Doc Louis angrily threw the roll of half-ply toilet paper on the floor, as he stomped his foot in rage.
"Look Doc Louis, as a fellow denizen of the Smash Mansion, I feel for you, I really do," Dark Pit said earnestly, with a hand on his heart, as Link entered the scene drinking from a bottle of water. "Like you, I have no choice but to subject myself to the secondary groundskeeper.
"Which is you," stated Link after he was done drinking, fastening the cap on his water bottle.
"Link, if you're going to retort, can you please do so correctly? 'Which is you' isn't a sentence..."
"I disagree with," Link retorted once more. Gotta love the subtlety in his response.
Link: I've been watching Dark Pit lately...not in a creepy way, but...I can tell that he's trying to get back into the groove of Flora. Trying to re-spark some romance, if you will. Slowly but surely, he's finding his way...slowly but surely.
"So are you gonna do something, 'secondary groundskeeper', and solve this injustice?" Doc Louis questioned Dark Pit, threatening to boycott using the bathroom if his demands weren't met. Such a boycott might result in imminent death.
"Dark Pit will find out a solution to your problem, you just have to give him time," smiled Flora, grabbing Dark Pit by the ear and dragging him away, as she went the opposite direction. "He just needs to speak with Mr. Game and Watch first." Doc Louis had a glare on his face, as he glared down Dark Pit, walking down the hallway with Flora. And it appeared that Dark Pit was having a conversation with Flora...
"Did you see what I did there, making Doc Louis all angry?" the doppelganger said to Flora, grinning cockily with his arms folded behind his head. "It was kinda funny when he started playing the race card, like that would get him anywhere..."
"I think I had more to do with making Doc Louis angry than you did," responded Flora, holding her duster close to her chest. "But seriously, Dark Pit, you shouldn't abuse your power like that. Just because you're the assistant groundskeeper doesn't mean you can annoy the others and get away with it!"
"Aw, but that's what makes it so fun! You know Doc Louis couldn't punch me, because if he did, Master Hand would chew him out. Same rule applies to Mr. GW. It's almost like being the president!"
"Still, Dark Pit, you can't just...do that, especially all the time. You can't abuse your power like that, and expect to get away with it every time. Don't do it anymore. Just...just do it for me, okay?"
As Dark Pit and Flora walked down the hallway, Link and Doc Louis watched. They didn't hear a word the doppelganger and the maid said, but they could tell that some chemistry was being rebuilt.
"Call me crazy Link, but it looks like those two youngins are suddenly being back on the same page again!" chuckled Doc Louis, before taking out a chocolate bar and eating it. The chocolate bar's name? Rose.
"Slowly but surely, Doc Louis..." remarked Link, while Doc Louis was devouring Rose like he hadn't eaten a chocolate bar in eons. "...slowly but surely."
Mario, back in his own home, was reading the tome Impa had given him, reading stuff about Hyrule - Hylia, the Minish people, the Oracle of Seasons, and even information on how to become an aspiring train engineer. Mario was unsure why that info was included. After he was done reading, he shared the book with Lana, who read the tome in the comfort of the living room.
"Oh my goodness..." Lana gasped, with her hands up to her face, as she was reading the section of the tome about Calamity Ganon.
"What is it?" Mario asked the blunette, coming from the kitchen while eating an apple. An apple a day keeps the doctor away! Or so they say...
"It says here, in this passage, that Calamity Ganon once destroyed the entire Hyrule Castle...by itself! Before the hero could reach it in time!"
"Welp-a we're screwed, there's no way we can stop-a Calamity Ganon by ourselves..." Mario could see Calamity Ganon, destroying the Smash Mansion in less than an hour, and he could picture all of the inevitable destruction.
"What are we going to do to stop this terror, Mario?" Mario devised of a plan with a proud look on his face, with a finger underneath his chin, as he smiled brightly with all determination.
"The real question-a is not what are we going to do...it is-a what is America going to do." Lana was confused by Mario's response, but was clearly enlightened as evidence by the look on her face. "I cannot simply let this-a Calamity Ganon situation remain quiet...I must alert-a the others!"
Mario: America clearly has been-a through a lot - they've endured a civil war, the Great-a Depression, World-a War I, World-a War II, the Cold War, and even that fidget spinner trend. So what's-a Calamity Ganon, compared-a to the great power that is AMERICA?!
In the gaming room, everyone was minding their business - playing games, watching television, etc. Everyone was enjoying themselves to some extent, until...
"Everyone stop-a what you're doing, and listen-a to me!" shouted Mario as he rushed inside the room, as the gaming room grew silent. "I want you all-a to imagine a world in which Calamity Ganon rules-a supreme in our world - where we have-a no robots to protect-a us, and where some-a Yiga Clan exist only to hunt-a for bananas and spy on hot-a Gerudo girls." Everyone in the gaming room looked at one another, with confused faces. "Now open-a your eyes..."
"You never told us to close them..." stated Viridi, who like everyone else was worried all this talk about Calamity Ganon was going to the plumber's head.
"Very astute-a observation, Viridi. Apt analysis. However, what I said-a could very well be the future, if we don't-a prevent it in time."
"What do we do, and how do you plan on stopping Calamity Ganon?" asked Rosalina, hoping that Mario had a surefire plan to stop Calamity Ganon in its tracks.
"Together we can stop-a Calamity Ganon...with America." That response did nothing but justify everyone's confusion by tenfold. "When the Allied forces needed-a help in the Great-a War, who did they rely on? America. When those poor-a countries needed relief after being struck-a by those hurricanes, who did they rely on? America. And when video game-a companies needed someone to hype-a up their games, to analyze-a the heck out of them and give-a their final critique before those games-a are even released, who do they rely on? Yup, you guessed-a it...America."
"Mario I'm sorry, but...those examples you mentioned have literally nothing to do with Calamity Ganon," remarked the female Inkling, who felt like the plumber was just hyping up America rather than addressing the situation at hand. Almost went on a tangent there.
"She's right, you really came off as a Donald Trump wannabe," added Wario, eating some doughnut burgers he saved for later. He wasn't even eating them in moderation either - must be finding a joyous way to commit suicide. "What's next, your gonna make a speech on veterans, and how we should always use them as an excuse for things we don't like or approve of?"
"No, but you did-a give me a good idea...perhaps we should ask-a the government, the Department of Defense, to send-a their troops to Seattle, so they can fight-a Calamity Ganon. Granted they'll probably die, but they know-a what they got-a themselves into..."
"The government will never allow that, it would be too costly. And too expensive! They will lose millions upon millions of dollars, and any dollar lost by the government is a bad look! Heck, I feel my reputation take a hit every time I have to spend a single penny!"
"Why not get Lucario to retrain the Pokemon army, and have that army take on Calamity Ganon?" suggested Doc Louis, still bitter about his toilet paper. He was also eating another chocolate bar - Rose Jr. That maniac...
"Lucario has used the army for one instance, and I doubt he wants to go through it again," replied Mewtwo, the former secretary of the Pokemon army. "Not after the work he had to go through. And suffice to say, I feel the same way..."
"Oh I know, how about we go to my universe, grab all the bad guys we can find, bring them to this universe, and have them fight Calamity Ganon?" suggested Sora, as everyone gave the Keyblade wielder questionable stares. "Like, you know...Organization XIII, Heartless, Nobodies - you name it! Fighting fire with fire!...No?"
Sora: Everyone was making suggestions, so I wanted to throw my name into the hat. It may not have been the greatest idea in the world, but I kinda wanted to see how everyone reacted. Unfortunately, everybody judged me, even Mario. So I failed, miserably...
"No way we're bringing over any baddies from-a your universe, not after what they have-a done," Mario said to Sora, who found himself judged as he alluded in his talking head segment. "Anyone-a else?"
"I say we strike Calamity Ganon with a bomb - an atomic bomb!" suggested Pit; gotta find a guy to develop the bomb fist. And that ain't no walk in the park. "But one that won't level the city. Then we'll be in the history books for our efforts, and let those dorks at the All-Star Manor feel jealous forever."
"Pit's right, we should drop a bomb on Calamity Ganon," agreed Kohaku, as Mario mulled over the idea. "But we shouldn't use an atomic bomb, that would be too destructive for..."
"So what do you want-a us to use then Kohaku, a regular bomb?" questioned Mario, wanting to know what Kohaku was thinking about. "Do you think that such a bomb would-a be enough to defeat Calamity Ganon? There's three-a Ganons in total, originating from-a Demise - did they meet their end-a from some silly, normal bomb?"
"How preposterous, everyone knows there's only two Ganon in the timeline - that boar creature, and myself," stated Ganondorf, with a slight chuckle. Honest question, since Ganondorf died at the end of Twilight Princess...then how come he's still alive?!
"Nah, I'm pretty sure there's-a only three. Three incarnations of Ganon in-a total, descending from Demise."
"You're wrong, Mario, there's only two incarnations - human Ganon, and boar Ganon. I'm the human Ganon, as you know..."
"But if I recall-a correctly, there's another Ganon, which is well, Calamity Ganon. One that the Sheikah invented-a Guardians to stop."
"Are you sure that isn't some fairy tale some punk on the street told you? I doubt that this 'Calamity Ganon' is a real thing..."
"Oh but-a it is...and after it's-a initial defeat, it came-a back nearly ten thousand years-a later, to wreck havoc in-a Hyrule once more."
"What the...how did you even get that information in the first place? Sounds too good to be true..."
"Got it from-a the tome, you dummy." Insulted for the second time today, Ganondorf angrily stood up from his seat, having a staredown with Mario before Rosalina calmly sat him back down.
"Getting a little nervous, aren't you Ganondorf?" snickered Heihachi, as Ganondorf still had his eyes locked on target with Mario. You could literally cut the tension in the gaming room with Ganondorf's Sword of Sages.
"You know what, this is exactly why I didn't want to discuss Calamity Ganon..." Sonic had to speak up once again, disgusted that he was once again thrust into this position of speaking out. "...we've got nothing but disputes going on! How about someone look up what Mario and Ganondorf are babbling about, to see who's right?"
"I'm on it," volunteered Cloud, as he whipped out his cellphone. When in doubt, always consult the Internet your phone. Quickest convenience ever. "Why did I even agree to do this..."
"People this isn't worth it, nothing is worth Goggling!" Ganondorf said to the crowd, though Cloud was on Google anyways. "This whole crap isn't worth our time! We should just leave it alone..."
"Aha, I found something! According to this website I'm on, there are three incarnations of Ganon - Ganondorf, the boar Ganon, and Calamity Ganon." Ganondorf slammed his fist on the couch arm in anger, having been schooled.
"Ganondorf, does this mean you don't even know the history of your own lineage?" Popo questioned the demon lord, who was too salty to say anything. "Way to let your own bloodline down!" Blood...line?
"But that's not all - the site also says that Calamity Ganon turned an entire army of Guardians against the Hylian people, slayed the pilots of the Divine Beast, and sent Hyrule into a state of ruin - thereby becoming the most powerful Ganon incarnate in Hyrule history."
"So what you're saying is, is that Ganondorf isn't even the strongest Ganon there is?" asked Bayonetta, as Ganondorf was ready to blow a fuse at any given moment. "How do you like that, Ganondork?" The others laughed, as the male Inkling led a "Ganondork" chant that irked Ganondorf so.
"Quit it out, 'Ganondork' doesn't even sound that original of an insult!" the demon lord frowned, while people ignored him and kept chanting Ganondork. "If you're going to make fun of me, at least show a little creativity!"
"Hey Sonic, since Mario owned Ganondorf in the argument, and because he has that tome..." Amy spoke to Sonic, who quietly sat back down on his seat. "...does that mean Mario is more knowledge when it comes to Hyrule, than Ganon is?"
"Now that I think of it, it kinda does..." replied Sonic, seeing Ganondorf still irked by the chants, and Mario glad that Cloud came to his side. Even though the swordsman regretted doing so.
Mario: I know more about-a Hyrule than a guy who hails-a from Hyrule? *laughs* I'll take-a what I can get...
As stated earlier, Roy was absolutely shook when he saw Lucina and friends perform for Straight Fiyah last week, with Roy and Crash the only ones remaining while the rest took the opportunity to escape while they could. It was bad enough that Roy's love interest, Lilina, agreed to partake in Lucina's plan - but it was even worse that Lucina and friends would be performing for Roy everyday for a foreseeable future, until the swordsman canned his band for good. A win for Lucina, and a win for all the Fire Emblem dudes. Well, except for Chrom and the Black Knight.
To keep himself at a distance from Lucina, Roy remained in his room for most of the day. He dared not to let anyone associated with Lucina in his company, unless it was Lilina wanting to stop by. (The hotel she stayed at wasn't that far from the mansion.) While Roy was busy sharpening his blade and writing song lyrics at the same time, he heard a knock on the door. Putting away his materials, the swordsman got up and answered the door, dismayed by who it was.
"Hi Roy!" exclaimed Lilina, as she happily waved to her boyfriend. But she wasn't the reason why Roy was bitter. The swordsman was bitter because Lucina and her crew was back, all wearing their pop star outfits like were pop idols from Idolmaster Cinderella Girls. Roy instantly knew what was expected.
"Why do you ladies hate me so much?" asked Roy, desiring to know why Lucina and others enjoyed torturing his poor soul. He knew Lilina didn't hate him - he figured she join Lucina's side due to peer pressure.
"Don't get it wrong Roy, we don't hate you - we just hate what you've become, and the things that you have chosen to do," stated Raven, who you could say was the "manager" for Lucina's girl group. Provided the music and everything...yeah, she only provided the music.
"Technically that still counts as you hating me...and I gotta say, you're pretty dedicated to this hatred of me. I would give you all a round of applause. Except for you, Lilina, my love..." Lilina blushed, as she giggled, before Mia nudged her.
"He probably said just to get on your good side, stop giggling," the Greil mercenary to Lilina, who did as she was told and sported a serious facial disposition. "Don't engage with the enemy..." That Mia, turning Roy's girlfriend against him...a real heel move.
"So Roy, we can do this the easy way...or the hard way, the choice is yours," said Lucina, standing face-to-face with Roy. "Either you agree to stop your silly k-pop shenanigans...or my ladies and I will perform again, like we did for you yesterday after dessert."
"Yesterday was uncalled for, thanks to you I wasted ice cream all over my pants, and got chewed out by Popo!" Roy took a deep breath, readying himself so he could give Lucina his answer. "But as I said before, I will NOT cancel Straight Fiyah, for Straight Fiyah will live on until the end of time! Got it?"
"Okay then, suit yourself...hit it, girls!" After Lucina's cue, Raven took out a boombox and pressed the play button, as k-pop music began playing. Roy watched with a blank stare as the Fire Emblem ladies...and Coco...performed, and he kept watching until he slowly closed his bedroom door. Still, he could hear the music, and the ladies singing, singing terribly on purpose.
Chrom: Have to commend Lucina and Raven for her efforts, to make Roy put this whole k-pop thing to bed so he won't be obsessed with the genre anymore. I've tried to sway Roy's mind, but to no avail - if I can't do it, then surely Lucina and Raven can.
"Just ignore them Roy...they'll get what's coming to them. At a later time, they won't bother you anymore!"
This was a voice Roy had heard when he returned to his room. It was the same voice he heard in the previous episode, all robotic and stuff. Roy, who was looking down at the floor, suddenly looked up after the voice was done speaking, and saw...Crash, standing at the window innocently, wearing his voice device thingamajig.
"Crash, how did you get here inside my room?" Roy questioned the bandicoot, who looked around curiously before shrugging his shoulders. "What about that voice, did you hear that?" Crash did not answer this question, as he dug his ear for earwax and ate said earwax after picking it out.
"Where on earth did you run off to Crash, you can't just bolt off like that!" Aku's voice was heard from outside, seemingly looking for Crash. The bandicoot, hearing Aku's voice, opened up the window, and moments later, Aku came flying in, overjoyed to see Crash. "There you are Crash! How'd you get up here?"
"Beats me - I tried asked Crash, but apparently he doesn't even know," replied Roy, as he glanced at the voice device on Crash's back. Perhaps that was where that weird voice came from. "I was busy sharpening my sword and writing lyrics until Lucina's crappy girl group showed up...I can still hear them."
"Yes, I've heard them perform throughout the week...not sure who has a worse k-pop group, you or Lucina." That certainly didn't affect Roy's confidence at all.
Ever since he was named secretary of Pikachu Day, Sonic had made his number one goal to promote Pikachu Day, and spread awareness so that more people about the globe celebrated it. The hedgehog, along with Amy, walked with Master Hand to the front door, supplying the giant hand with bright ideas.
"I was thinking about maybe having a Pikachu Day gathering in town square," Sonic said to Master Hand as he, the giant hand, and Amy made it down to the foyer. Amy did not care for Pikachu Day, but was willing to support it if Sonic did. "Something summery, like a barbecue or even hosting a music festival!"
"Only way we can make a music festival work is if we can sign a musical act beforehand," explained Master Hand, as he neared the front door. "I would get Sonia Strumm, but thanks to Fox and Falco I don't think she would want to do business with us again. And as for Joanne...well, she's a lost cause."
"Lucario apparently has come into his own as a grill cook, so I think having a large-scale barbecue would be a great option," Amy offered her two cents, still trying to figure out the hoopla behind Pikachu Day. "Though it would be a whole lot better if..."
Amy trailed off after Master Hand opened the front door, revealing a trio of misfits standing on the doorstep. One had red hair, the other had purple hair, and the third was a feline Pokemon. Sonic and Amy were both disgusted, yet surprised.
"Prepare for trouble!"
"And make it double!"
"To protect the world from devastation!"
"To unite all peoples within our nation!"
"To denounce the evils of truth and love!"
"To extend our reach to the stars above!"
"Jessie!"
"James!"
"Meowth, that's right!"
"Team Rocket speeds off at the speed of light!"
"Surrender now...well you know the rest."
Team Rocket, standing at the doorway, recited their world famous motto, though it did not end exactly as intended. Jessie gritted her teeth in anger as she backhanded James, making the man wince in pain as Wobbuffet felt the dire need to pop out of his Poke Ball.
Jessie: You idiot, why didn't you finish the rest of the song?!
James: We've said it enough times already - you'd think the words would be ingrained in everyone's mind!
Jessie: Oh, so you just assume that everybody knows Team Rocket? Even senior citizens?!
Meowth: Don't mean to butt in...but didn't we agree to retire the motto months ago?
Jessie: *points aggressively at Meowth* You will NOT speak of such sorcery again, you hear me?
Meowth: Okay, okay, I won't, ease up...
"Well if it isn't Team Rocket, welcome back to the mansion!" Master Hand greeted the trio, acting cordial and friendliness. Such jovial nature was of high concern to Sonic and Amy, given whom Master Hand was speaking to. "Was hoping you'd show up on time."
"Master Hand, did you seriously invite these losers to the mansion?" questioned Sonic, as Master Hand let Jessie, James, and Meowth inside the mansion and closed the door. "After all the crazy stuff they've done in the past?"
"Yes, Sonic, I did invite them. These losers that you speak of..." Master Hand had to suck up a lot of pride and dignity so he could finish his sentence. "...these losers are my friends. My best friends."
"Wow, Master Hand must have very low standards," Amy whispered quietly to Sonic, as Master Hand was having a dignified conversation with Team Rocket. "Or maybe being at the Smash Mansion forever has made him depressingly lonely. Or maybe he's just weird in general..."
"Why don't you three come with me to my room? There we can discuss our...private business." Master Hand turned to Sonic and Amy to see if they were eavesdropping, and the two looked away, with Sonic whistling innocently. "Follow me..."
So Team Rocket (and Wobbuffet) followed Master Hand to his room, and on the way there, they crossed paths with Link. The Hylian was shocked to see Team Rocket, and was even more shocked when they silently greeted him. But those dorks being with Master Hand made Link more shocked than anything else.
But little did the Hylian know that he would be even more shocked, when he entered the foyer and a certain princess sneaked up on him...
"Link?" Zelda called out, lightly tapping the Hylian on the shoulder. Link screamed and turned around, donning his Master Hand, but lowered his guard when he saw his girlfriend. "It's just me - sorry for scaring you. Anyways, I have some news I thought you might want to hear."
"Then go ahead, lay it on me!" smiled Link, interested in hearing what his news was. "Is it something major? Is it something that will change the world? Will it make me feel impassioned?"
"No, it won't make you do any of those things...frankly, the news I have is concerning our mansion status." Link's smile faded, as the fear of him and Zelda getting kicked out had a strong possibility of being reality. "Master Hand is considering adding new residents to the mansion next week, and he has given some thought about sending an invite to Champion Link and Zelda - you know, the Link and Zelda that visited us that one time. He has also given some thought about kicking us out, and letting those two take our spots."
"So what you're saying is, Master Hand is replacing us...with another Link and Zelda." Why couldn't the four just coexist? It happened on two occasions, in episodes 63 and 105. Living together in the mansion wouldn't be that big of a deal. "Why can't we just stay together?"
"Asked Master Hand about that, and he said that it would cause confusion. Sure, people can differentiate between you and Champion Link, but as for Zelda and I...there is no clear separation. It's a small conflict of interest..."
Zelda: I haven't quite figured out the living options for Link and I should we get booted out of the mansion, but staying with Mario and Peach is the best option on the table. Though I'm not that high on an unmarried couple living together in the same house...especially with a couple already married, and with a child...
"Just wanted to share that with you, so you'll know what to expect in the coming week," said Zelda, as she walked away, leaving Link worried about the future. "Don't let it overwhelm you, okay?" Link wouldn't let the news overwhelm him - rather, he was planning to take initiative.
"Master Hand wants to kick Zelda and I out, huh?" the Hylian frowned, wanting to give the giant hand a piece of his mind. "Time to tell him who he's messing with..."
Link stormed off to Master Hand's room, and when he burst inside, he saw Master Hand speaking with Team Rocket, likely continuing the conversation Calamity Ganon. However, the Hylian was taken aback when he saw Mario and Ganondorf, both desiring to have a word with Master Hand. Two geniuses were standing in the Hylian's presence.
"Wow, a whole lot of brainpower in this room..." remarked Link, grinning as he folded his arms. "Mario and Ganondorf, the two smartest dudes in the mansion, in that order." Mario nodded, taking what he could get, while Ganondorf glared down his arch-nemesis.
"Very funny, Link, very funny..." the demon lord seethed, wishing to Warlock Punch Link into oblivion. Doing that would make his dream come true.
"I agree Link, great-a joke you said there," agreed Mario, somewhat oblivious to the sarcasm that radiated in Ganondorf's response. "Truly comedic!"
"Two of the smartest dues in the mansion, you say?" said Jessie, as she looked at Mario and Ganondorf. Time to see if the plumber and the demon lord were as smart as Link proclaimed. "Oh, Ganondorf!"
"Yes, woman, what is it?" Ganondorf snapped, his impatience and overall irritation reaching a boiling point. "Say it now, or forever hold you piece!"
"Would you...move out of the way so I can speak with Mario, the smartest man there is?" Ganondorf grumbled as he moved out of the way, allowing Jessie to move closer to Mario. "Mario, I have a Pokemon question I think you might answer...what hidden moves can a Golurk use?"
"Glad you asked-a Jessie, since I've been lowkey working on my Pokemon-a knowledge," replied Mario, ready to answer Jessie's question to the best of his ability. "Let's-a see, a Golurk can only learn-a two hidden moves, Rock-a Slide...and Fly." If Ganondorf was having a drink right now, he'd spit all its contents into someone's face. Like James, for example.
"How is that even possible, Golurk doesn't even have wings!" growled Ganondorf, wanting to see a Golurk use Fly for itself. "It doesn't even have wings!"
"Yes, but Golurk can retract its limbs and turn into a rocket, so it can fly. And you say a Pokemon needs wings to learn Fly? Scyther has wings, but it can't learn Fly! You're making some very precarious assumptions, Ganondork." Oh snap, even Master Hand's calling Ganondorf by that name!
"Yikes, it must be killing you knowing that Mario is a smarter person that you are, Ganondorf!" James said to the demon lord, before snickering to himself."Or should I say...Ganondork." You have to admit, "Ganondork" had a bit of a ring to it.
"He's not smarter than me, he was just right about one thing!" stated Ganondorf, having his dignity scarred now that a member of Team Rocket was making fun of him at his expense. "One thing only..."
"But it was a very smart thing to be right about," said Link before leaving the room, wishing to speak with Master Hand another time when he wasn't busy. "Some Ganon incarnation you're supposed to be...Demise would be ashamed."
Link: Ganondorf usually acts like a know-it-all when it comes to Hyrule history, so to have him dropped on his pedestal by Mario...it has really chewed away at his reputation. It's made him weak. And believe me, I love me a weakened Ganondorf.
With their villains Shovel Knight and Donkey Kong in place, it was time for the cast members of Force Five to begin filming. Touma and company were at a park, shooting a scene where they investigate stuff. Fox, Falco, Shovel Knight, and Donkey Kong were chilling on the side, away from Eleonora who was the director. As Donkey Kong ate a banana, he felt his phone vibrate, and grumbled when he saw a text message...from Fox.
"Thanos, question mark..." Donkey Kong quietly read the text message to himself, before shooting Fox with an inquisitive look. "What does this text message even mean, Fox?"
"Exactly what it means - Thanos," replied Fox, as Donkey Kong gave an even more inquisitive look, one that made Fox sigh. "...I want you to be like Thanos. Not with the Infinity Gauntlet, per se, but just be strong and powerful and junk. I'm just trying to give you pointers!"
"I don't wanna be that guy, but you're literally one text away from being blocked. Your endless text messaging is gonna drive up Cranky Kong's phone bill!" Fox is pretty rich; he could use the money raised from Star Records to pay the phone bill himself.
"True dat, but you're literally one text away from becoming the greatest villain ever. So if you wanna cut me off, then go ahead, but don't come whining to me when Force Five turns out to be crap."
"Enough with the bickering you two, thou peons will interrupt the scene!" scolded Shovel Knight, keeping his voice as low as possible. "We don't want Touma and friends to redo this scene..."
"Yeah, what he said," Falco followed up. Fox and Donkey Kong stared at one another, with some intensity, before breaking away.
To say Dark Pit was abusing his power as a groundskeeper would be an understatement. The doppelganger could openly berate people, and receive little to no consequences for his actions. Want a good example? Take for instance Wario, who after knocking down a vase, was ordered to clean up the remains by Dark Pit. Essentially doing Dark Pit's job.
"C'mon Wario, put your back into it!" Dark Pit barked orders at the fatso, who was cleaning up the remains of the vase with a small broom and dustpan. Wario gritted his teeth in anger, as he glared at Dark Pit; he would deal with the doppelganger, but not at the hands of being reprimanded by Master Hand. Right now, Dark Pit was the most protected person in the entire mansion. "That broken vase isn't gonna clean itself!"
"Why can't you clean it up yourself, you're the freaking groundskeeper!" retorted Wario; talking back to Dark Pit was the only thing the fatso could do in this instance, without accruing any trouble. "Or should I say, assistant groundskeeper..."
"I didn't break the vase, that was your doing. And, since you broke the vase, you're gonna be the one paying for it! No way I'm gonna spend my money on..."
"Dark Pit, what are you doing?' asked Mr. Game and Watch, as he entered the scene carrying a garbage bag over his shoulders. He saw the doppelganger, and then saw Wario, angrily sweeping up the pieces of the broken vase. "Are you making Wario do your dirty work?"
"What dirty work, the broken vase was HIS fault! Why should I be doing something that Wario deserves to take the blame for? I'm the groundskeeper, not some silly maid that cleans up after everyone! No offense to Flora, but..."
"Dark Pit, I see that you have a very bossy attitude - and having an attitude like that will prevent you from collecting the fruits of your labor. No way would Master Hand allow a groundskeeper as bossy as you are! Unless I see a change in behavior from you, you can kiss your groundskeeper job goodbye!
Dark Pit looked down at the floor, as Mr. Game and Watch walked away with the garbage bag. Wario, cleaning up the broken vase, disposed of of the broken pieces in the nearby trash can, before dusting his hands off and walking away. Dark Pit could not afford to lose his groundskeeper job - there was a specific reason why he agreed to have the job in the first place.
Mr. Game and Watch: Could I have chosen a better person as an assistant groundskeeper than Dark Pit? Yes I could have, but Master Hand made me choose from either Pit and Dark Pit. Obviously, I had to choose between the more competent option...
Mario walked through the hallway, passing by Dark Pit, until he was stopped in his tracks by Ganondorf. The plumber, fearing that the demon lord wanted to have another conversation about Calamity Ganon, noticed that he was looking rather cordial than usual.
"Hey Mario, are you busy later today?" Ganondorf asked the plumber, rubbing his hands together. What was that demon lord plotting...
"Not that-a much, what do you want?" asked Mario, keeping himself wary of what Ganondorf might have planned.
"I was...thinking about what you said earlier about Calamity Ganon, and..."
"Yes, yes, go-a on...do you have-a some more to say about-a the matter?"
"In fact, I do. I'd love to talk more about Calamity Ganon, I really do..."
"Okay then, your-a choice...where-a are we gonna meet at?"
"How about we have a tea party, courtesy of the Black Knight? We'll seat at the tea table, and have our conversation there."
"Fine-a with me. I'll see-a you later then." Ganondorf smiled, as he turned around and walked away, and Mario smiled in return as he also turned around...only to be stopped by the buddy cops, Toon Link and Young Link.
"Mario, do you have any idea what you just agreed to?" Toon Link asked Mario, hoping the plumber realized the terrible mistake he had made.
"What did I do that was so wrong?" questioned Mario; Ganondorf wanted to speak more about Calamity Ganon, and the plumber fulfilled his wish. What's so wrong with showing a little civility? "I only agreed to a tea party with Ganondorf!"
"No, Mario, it's not just a tea party," stated Young Link, being as serious as he possibly could. However, Mario didn't buy any of it.
"Ganondorf's trying to set you up for failure," warned Toon Link, and being a hero of Hyrule, Toon Link always knew when Ganondorf was up to something. "What he's gonna do is bring up whatever you were talking about in a casual way, yet in secret he'll try and make you slip up, and once he does that, BOOM!...You're screwed."
"Once Ganondorf proves successful, he'll look down upon you and make you feel small, worthless, and stupid. Do you want that to happen to you, Mario?" Mario wouldn't allow it - no way would the plumber allow anyone to make him feel worthless.
"Alright then, so that means-a I must learn as much-a as possible about Calamity Ganon, and I'm all-a set. I should learn-a more about Hyrule, to be on the safe-a side, but that would take-a too much time. I'll just learn-a about Calamity Ganon, nothing more and-a nothing less."
Being a retired spy who didn't have much to do in his current life, Snake spent most of his days at the mansion, doing chill activities such as drinking coffee. He was in the dining room, sipping coffee and reading the newspaper, as Flora was cleaning the dining room table with a rash rag. As she was cleaning, she saw Dark Pit enter the dining room, needing to speak with her.
"You, me, powwow in my room," Dark Pit said to Flora, before darting away. Flora looked on, bewildered by what Dark Pit was trying to say.
"Powwow?" the maid questioned, as she looked around in confusion. "What did he possibly mean by powwow?"
"It's a special code, I reckon," replied Snake, after taking a sip of his coffee. "He wants you to meet in his room, for a private discussion."
"Special...code? Is that something mutually exclusive to the mansion? Does everyone here know this special code?"
"I understand it, but I don't speak it. Speaking such a code is way beneath my level." Knowing Snake, he has probably used too many codes in the past, as a spy.
Snake: There is no special code at the mansion, I just didn't want Flora to feel stupid or clueless. A girl of her age and caliber should know what powwow means. It isn't first grade material...
Doing as she was told to, Flora met with Dark Pit in his room, for the so-called powwow. She had no idea what this powwow was all about, but she figured it might have much to do with Dark Pit's groundskeeper job.
"Either I don't clean up my act, or Mr. Game and Watch is gonna let me off the hook, him for Master Hand," Dark Pit explained to Flora, stressing the importance of wanting to keep his job. "This is the first time I've ever done anything remotely productive for the mansion, and this job will give me a lot of credibility!"
"You can't gain a lot of credibility if you're forcing others to do your bidding,' stated Flora, helping Dark Pit understand the full extent of his limits as a groundskeeper. "Like forcing Alph to clean out the bathtub. My sister caught you red-handed!"
"Well Alph got the bathtub dirty, so he had to pay! In fact, why does he even need to wash in the bathtub in the first place? Why not bathe in the lake outside, it's clean enough as it is! Might even have special healing powers!"
"I just don't want everyone to hate you, Dark Pit. I know some might dislike you already, but I don't want that dislike to extend to everyone else..." Dark Pit knew that certain people hated his attitude, and his bravado, which rubbed people off the wrong way. Was the doppelganger willing to let that stand?
"Being universally disliked would be terrible...would be the worst feeling in the world. Don't know how I could deal with it. But I can't be a groundskeeper, and be hated at the same time. I gotta have a balance!"
"Or you can have no balance whatsoever. You must keep one, but leave the other." Flora rested an assuring hand on Dark Pit's shoulder. "And I know just how to make it possible..."
Before his tea party with Ganondorf, Mario must first be trained in the ways of Calamity Ganon, so that he would know everything there is to know so he would have enough ammo against Ganondorf. Quizzing him on Calamity Ganon was Toon Link and Young Link, reading from the Hyrulian tome.
"What is the poisonous substance that Calamity Ganon can release?" asked Toon Link, as Mario tapped his finger on a desk trying to think of an answer.
"Pass," the plumber responded. The correct answer was Malice, and you could find malice all over Hyrule when Calamity Ganon was in control.
"How many incarnations of Calamity Ganon are there? Had you answered the previous question correctly, it would've helped..."
"Pass," the plumber responded once more. The correct answer was four - Waterblight Ganon, Thunderblight Ganon, Fireblight Ganon, and Windblight Ganon were the four incarnations of Ganon. Or rather, incarnations of Malice.
"Two for two, keep it up," said Toon Link, keeping a very steady track of Mario's progress. "Gotta answer at least ONE question..."
"How long has Calamity Ganon been sealed underneath Hyrule Castle? I can make this question a multiple choice question, if it'll make it easier."
"Lifeline?" the plumber responded. The correct answer was...wait, did Mario seriously consider using a lifeline? Shows you how desperate he was...
"Dang it!" Young Link aggressively threw the tome unto the floor, as Mario and Toon Link jumped out of the way. "Mario, you were literally moments away from the smack down of your life. If you don't know something, steer the conversation to your side and change the topic."
"I could talk about-a girls, I bet Ganondorf has-a poor chemistry when it comes-a to women," said Mario, seemingly forgetting the chemistry Ganondorf had with Rosalina. "I could school-a him easily!"
"That tactic would only work if you and Ganondorf were both women," stated Toon Link, seeing Mario's chances at owning Ganondorf more bleak than ever. "Two dudes talking about girls is just strange, and in turn you could risk taking a loss to Ganondorf. I wouldn't do it."
"If you want me to, Mario, I can recite a motivational speech I saw that'll motivate you in your battle against Ganondorf," Young Link asked the plumber. "It's only like four minutes long, I have the whole thing memorized."
"But will it be worth-a it?" asked Mario, asking a very important question. What good would a speech be if he had no effect?
"No, absolutely not...but I just wanna recite it out loud for someone. It's been stuck in my head for months, and I have to let it out."
Toon Link: This "motivational speech"...where did you hear it from, and who gave it?
Young Link: To tell you the truth...it wasn't a motivational speech. It was more of a video package, for John Cena. I memorized everything - the words, the lyrics for the song, and everything else.
Toon Link: Hold up, this video package...was it for Wrestlemania? *Young Link nods his head* Aha, I also memorized that thing too! Even the stuff that wasn't worth memorizing, like the commentary.
Young Link: Great minds think alike...
"Hey Mario, I made you a cheat sheet, just in case," said Cloud as he entered the room, holding a piece of notebook paper. "Not that I wanted to write it or anything, but...let's just say Aerith put me up to it."
"I don't need-a to cheat, I want my throwdown with-a Ganondorf to be fair and-a square," replied Mario, feeling confident about his chances despite the contrary. "A cheat-a sheet will only invalidate my victory."
"Show him how to use it..." Toon Link said to Cloud, who nodded as he came over to Mario. Mario tried to push the swordsman away, but to no avail.
Because Master Hand prohibited Roy from printing his song lyrics at the printing room, because of his "outwardly delusion", the swordsman had no choice but to make copies of the lyrics he wrote at the copy place just down the street. Accompanying him were Crash and Aku, and Roy had to keep a close eye on the latter.
"No offense Roy, but I previewed your song lyrics and...they all sound so cheesy to me," Aku said to the swordsman, who was at the front desk paying for his copies. "Your songs all sound like cheesy love songs that I wouldn't even sing to my lover. You should really improve your songwriting skills."
"Like you're the one to talk - you're just a floating mask that stalks Crash and Coco like it's your life duty," replied Roy, after paying for his copies, as he gathered up his copies and headed towards the exit. "You literally have nothing to live for!"
"Nothing to live for? Well for your information Roy, if it weren't for me, Crash and Coco would be goners! I would say they would be goners at the hands of Cortex, but that guy can't even hurt a fly with his ray gun. I've witnessed it first-hand, by the way."
"Are there even any female ancient masks around? I think not - that would explain why you and Uka are both single. Were you ever a human before you became a mask? Bet you didn't even have any luck with women back...then..."
Upon exiting the copy place, Roy, Crash, and Aku looked up and saw the Broodals, flying on their ship as the peered down at the three. As usual, they were all smiles.
"Top of da afternoon, Roy my man!" Topper greeted the swordsman, as he tipped his hat to him. Aku expected Roy and Crash to get on the offensive, but both remained pretty chill, much to his concern. "How's that device coming along?"
"It's been great so far, no problems whatsoever!" replied Roy; has he not realized whom he was speaking with? Was he so thankful for Topper and the Broodals, that he couldn't believe for a second, just one second, that they were evil? "With that device you given me, Crash will be a top lead singer in no time!"
"Yeah, that's what I like to hear!" Aku looked at Roy, then at Topper, then at Roy, with a scared look this whole time. To think that Roy and Topper were both on equal terms, being friendly with one another...it was hard for Aku to process. "Say, Roy how about you take that device for a spin? I think Rango here is in da mood for some dancin'! Right, Rango?"
"You can say that again, boss!" replied Rango, as he leaped down from the ship. Rango was the biggest out of the Broodals, and his size was enough to intimidate Roy and company. "How about you pick a song from your remote thingy, and I'll show off my best dance moves?" Rango said to Roy.
"You mean this remote that came along with the device?" asked Roy, as he took out the remote in question from his pocket. "How about some Janis Joplin, for your fancy? You seem like a guy that digs a chick like her." Unable to process everything anymore, Aku fled away from the scene, not knowing what to do.
Aku: This is no good, no good at all...the Broodals has a firm hold on Roy, and they could be manipulation tool to get closer to the mansion! There's gotta be someone that could... *pauses* ...actually, I know just the gal...or gals. Wonder if there's a phone booth nearby...
With his groundskeeper job on the line, Dark Pit was left with no other choice but to work alongside Flora, who offered to help out the doppelganger. One idea the maid had in mind was for Dark Pit to rake the leaves in the front yard. There was a gaudy amount of leaves present, which was odd considering it was the summer, but someone had to clean it all up.
"Dark Pit, why is Alph raking up the leaves?" Flora asked the doppelganger, standing on the porch, as she pointed at Alph raking the leaves. The young astronaut appeared to be struggling, as evidenced by how he was holding the rake. Apparently that rake was too big for him. Or too heavy.
"Because...I...told him to do it?" Dark Pit replied sheepishly, as Flora stared at him with a critical glance. "What, I had other stuff to do, I couldn't do everything myself! I can't multi-task!"
"Dark Pit, being a groundskeeper is all about multi-tasking. Look at Mr. Game and Watch - he has done multiple tasks by himself, but do you ever see him complain? He just...does things, and doesn't care unless he gets the job done."
"Well that's him, he's just hard-working like that. Honestly, I don't know if I have it in me to do what Mr. Game and Watch can do. Maybe, I'm just not that motivated enough to..." Before Dark Pit could finish, Flora rested an assuring hand on the doppelganger.
"I know you can do it, Dark Pit. You just choose not to do it, and expect everything to go your way. If you just put your grievances to the side, then you can do anything. And then, maybe, people wouldn't dislike you as much."
"Really, you think so?" Dark Pit asked Flora, who smiled and nodded. This made the doppelganger feel good about his chances. "Okay then, I'll get too it, guess I'll start raking up those leaves then!"
So Dark Pit hopped off the porch, and headed over to Alph, who was still struggling to rake the leaves. He kept struggling as the sweat poured down his face; the astronaut was ready to give up and pass out.
"Mind if I take it over from here, Alph?" Dark Pit asked the astronaut, before he could faint from exhaustion. Raking leaves was something else for Alph, compared to just watering flowers. "You can head back inside and get some rest."
"No thanks, Dark Pit - you asked me to rake the leaves, and so I obliged," replied Alph, before continuing to rake the leaves. You'd think his body would tell him to give it up already. "You did promise to buy a brand new Lexus if I got all the leaves raked up!"
"Uh, yeah, forget that I ever said that..." Dark Pit quickly took the rake from Alph, wondering why he made such an egregious offer in the first place. "Since I'm the groundskeeper - or assistant groundskeeper - I have to do every duty myself. Even if I don't like it. That's what being a groundskeeper is all about." Dark Pitlooked towards Flora, and the maid gave him a nod of approval.
"Well I can't argue with that, that's a great attitude to have...and you know, I've never seen you have that kind of attitude before, Dark Pit. Perhaps Master Hand was right naming you the assistant groundskeeper. Shouldn't have doubted you in the first place..." So Dark Pit went to raking the leaves, doing infinitely better than Alph could, as Alph returned to the mansion.
Alph: Should've been the assistant groundskeeper over Dark Pit...being a gardener these days has been terrible for me. I get attacked by all the plants, even the non-sentimental ones. Though that could be my allergies acting up...and I wear a helmet at all times!...Why haven't I taken it off? I asked Olimar if I should, but he warned me not to. "Hocotate Freight company policy," he claimed.
Link was chilling in his room, on his bed, as he looked up at the ceiling. The Hylian was faced with a possible eviction from the mansion, effective next week, and Zelda was in the same boat. Speaking of Zelda, the princess entered the room, along with Midna.
"Still thinking about being a homeless man, Link?" Midna asked the Hylian, hoping she ruffled his feathers. You know the imp adored doing that with Link.
"No, no, I was just...thinking about things," responded Link as he sat up on his bed, refusing to admit how he truly felt. At the same time, Zelda sat on the bed, next to her man. "Okay, I confess, I was thinking about the eviction. Tried speaking about it with Master Hand, but he was speaking with Mario and Ganondorf...and Team freaking Rocket."
"He seriously invited those three to the mansion again?" Judging by Zelda's comment, Team Rocket came to the mansion at least once in-between episodes 129 and 130. Or even more than once. "How very...peculiar. Anyways, I encountered Master Hand earlier, and he said..."
"He said he's gonna kick us out soon, isn't he?" Link got up from his bed, as he gathered his stuff. Did the man even have a suitcase? "We might as well start packing now, get it out of the way..."
"Actually, Link...we're both staying!" Link, who had his clothes in his hands, looked at Zelda all crazily as he dropped said clothes unto the floor. "Master Hand said that only Champion Link is coming over to the mansion, and that his Zelda friend is staying put, since she didn't receive a Smash invite."
"So my Link buddy and I are staying in the mansion together? Awesome! Good call by Master Hand, letting Zelda stay at Hyrule Castle - she'd be no good for Smash battles. Especially if her opponents shaved off her eyebrows." Link chuckled, but stopped when Zelda glared at him. "So, anyone else received an invite?"
"Master Hand said that he sent an invite to Daisy already. And he also sent an invite...to Ridley." Link shuddered when he heard the name Ridley - to say that dragon was a murderous fiend would be lightly putting it.
"Ha, and you two never believed me when I say that Master Hand is secretly attempting to kill his residents..." giggled Midna, expecting to be proven right once Ridley officially joined the Smash Mansion. "Don't come crying to me, when all your friends are dead and gone..."
Mario and Ganondorf met at their tea party, set up by the Black Knight in the lounge, and both men were looking at one another as the Black Knight poured their tea. Toon Link and Young Link were in the background, "keeping watch". The mood wasn't tense yet, but the stakes were high.
"Mario, the reason why I wanted to have this chat with you is that I believe your fears about Calamity Ganon are a bit inflated," Ganondorf said to the plumber, eating some scones on his plate. Any tea party would be be incomplete without scones, especially in Britain. "You're more worried about Calamity Ganon than anyone else!"
"Did-a you know, that Calamity Ganon used-a his powerful malice to nearly wipe-a out an entire race of Sheikahs?" stated Mario, throwing out the facts already. That's how you know the plumber wasn't playing around.
"So what, Adolf Hitler tried to do the same thing with the Jewish people during the Holocaust. Are you trying to compare Calamity Ganon to Adolf Hitler? Not a very wise choice, my friend..."
"But did you also know-a that Calamity Ganon also destroyed an army of Guardians the Shiekah constructed-a themselves? Bet you should-a know that, it's in that-a tome after all - the tome about a land-a you're supposed to know about."
Dark Knight: Mario and Ganondorf, they can argue, fight, play patty cake at the tea party, I don't care. I'm just glad that I can finally get rid of the tea bags I've been saving underneath my bed. Did it just for safekeeping. You could greatly devalue a man by stealing his belongings.
Roy and Crash were still outside at the copy place with the Broodals, with Rango dancing along and twirling his hat. Roy was having Crash sing nothing by Janis Joplin songs, and Rango was hopping along to the beat. Aku was also present, wondering when this whole charade would end.
"Roy I think we should head home now, I'm getting pretty bored..." Aku said to Roy, when in reality he was trying to save Roy and Crash's hides. He knew the Broodals were up to something.
"Just because you feel bored doesn't mean Crash and I feel the same way," stated Roy, slightly entertained by Rango's "dancing" - if you wanna consider hopping around like a buffoon to be deemed dancing. Literally anything could be called dancing nowadays. "Why don't you go somewhere else, and have your fun?"
"I can't go anywhere, I must protect Crash at whatever cost..and right now, I don't think I'm doing such a great job..." As you can see, Aku oftentimes took his guardian role very seriously.
"Enough!" shouted Topper, commanding Roy to press the pause button on the remote. In an instant, Crash stopped singing, as Topper gave a round of applause. "Wow, what superb singing! Absolutely stellar! Watching that performance was totally worth duping you in the first place!"
"Oh yeah, you can say that again!" replied Roy with a smile, before his face soured in an instant. Finally, Roy grasped what the Broodals were doing to him. "...what do you mean by duping?"
"Broodals, stay right where you are!"
Before Topper could continue speaking, he and the others directed their attention to Lucina and her girl group, back in their idol outfits. One good look at the girls was enough to make the Broodals laugh.
"Would you look at that - one of Roy's lady friends started a pop band herself!" laughed Topper, until he was on the verge of tears. Lucina and company took Topper's comments with heavy stride. "What's next on the menu, a heavy metal band? That would be rich!"
"I don't think these Broodals have ever seen us perform before, ladies..." Lucina said to the ladies, with a devious smile. "How about we give them a performance, and ease their doubt? Hit it, Raven!"
So Raven, armed with the boombox, pressed the play button, and some pop music started playing. The Broodals stopped laughing, with their full attention on Lucina and company...who started singing and dancing terribly. It was hard for the rabbits to watch; same could be said for Roy, Crash, and Aku.
"Boss, this is hard to watch!" Rango shouted to Topper, with his hands over his ears. That's how bad the singing was; only the music was tolerable. "I think we should head out now..."
"Don't have to tell me twice, hop on!" yelled Topper, as Rango got back on the ship. The Broodals flew away, and once they were gone, out of sight, Lucina and company stopped their performance. Roy, Crash, and Aku remained, with Roy shaken up.
"Sorry we were so late, you three, Nowi was holding us up," apologized Raven, with Roy looking like he had his cake ruined and his presents burned at a birthday party. "Kept asking us why we weren't in our group. Sent her crying afterwards."
Nowi: *wipes away tears* Lucina and Raven wouldn't let me in their group...but they were totally fine with letting Coco of all people join them... *sniffs* I hope that bandicoot loses her voice permanently...
"Roy are you okay, did those mean rabbits hurt you?" Lilina ran over to the swordsman, as she inspected his body. "Doesn't look like that laid a finger on you...are you even going to respond?"
"Huh...?" uttered Roy with his dumb face still intact. That face would fade away when Lilina gave him a kiss on his cheek, and Roy was soon all smiles. "Oh, uh, hi Lilina, you're still look pretty, as always!"
"I thought I told her not to engage with Roy..." frowned Mia, stepping forward so she could confront Lilina. But Caeda would put her hand out in front of Mia, preventing her from advancing.
"I'd say we give those two some time before we head back," stated Caeda, as Mia took a step back. "No need to take things more seriously than you should..."
Let's revert back to the tea party, and see how Mario and Ganondorf are coming along...
"Calamity Ganon has-a been terrorizing Hyrule for hundreds-a of years," Mario said to Ganondorf, who was listening to everything the plumber said. "It will terrorize this country soon-a once he arrives. It'll run-a us to the very ground."
"I'll give you that, Mario, but this country has seen its fare share of problems prior to Calamity Ganon," Ganondorf fired back, trying to stay ahead. "No matter what the situation or crisis was, this land has remained intact."
"Oh yeah, well what if Calamity Ganon ventured-a to other places in the world, like-a Japan? They wouldn't know how to deal-a with such a gigantic threat, they would-a be powerless!"
"Insinuating that Japan is an unprepared country, are we? Have you forgotten the disasters that has transpired in Japan? They've had many severe earthquakes and tsunamis, not to mention nuclear meltdowns, and yet they're still fine. Don't you agree?"
"Do...I...?" Mario was unsure whether he should agree or not; he would make Ganondorf look good in the process.
Dark Pit did it. He actually did it, and without any complaining or whining whatsoever. The doppelganger successfully raked every single leaf in the front yard of the mansion, and he did the job without breaking a sweat.
Oh, and the pile of leaves Dark Pit raked? It was in the front yard of Luigi's home - Dark Pit put them there, since he didn't know where to put them. The pile of leaves was the first thing Daisy noticed when he exited her house to retrieve the mail.
"Luigi, the leaves are back in the front yard again!" the princess called out to her husband, as she rushed inside. You could hear Luigi uttering "Mama mia..." from a mile away.
"Well Flora, I got the job done..." Dark Pit proudly said to Flora, who joined him in the front yard. He saw how clean the front yard looked, and was pleased. "...I took your words to heart, and got this front yard cleaned up. Looking pretty nice..."
"Wonder what Mr. Game and Watch would think of your progress," said Flora, and speak of the devil - Mr. Game and Watch showed up, standing on the porch, and saw the front yard. The 2-D man, who was holding a rake, dropped said rake in amazement.
"Dark Pit, did you clean this front yard by yourself?" Mr. Game and Watch asked Dark Pit, to ensure he wasn't imagining things.
"Yeah, I raked up all the leaves, wasn't as hard as I thought," replied Dark Pit, as he looked around. "What do you think, man?"
"I think...I think you did a great job. A real great job! Never should've doubted you to begin with - sorry for threatening to take your groundskeeping job away. Though I should have left that decision in Master Hand's power. Keep up the good work!" Mr. Game and Watch picked up the rake, and returned to the mansion.
"Looks like I managed to save your job," smiled Flora, as Dark Pit smiled back. Those two were gelling back together - slowly but surely, as Link said. "It feels...very weird, doing someone a favor without failure. And now, I should get back to my maid duties...see you around."
"Yeah," responded Dark Pit, as Flora returned to the mansion. The doppelganger wanted to say more, but perhaps he should save that for later, down the road.
Link: *looking from a foyer window* So I get to stay in the mansion, and Dark Pit gets even closer to winning back Flora's heart...slowly but surely. Slow burn.
Touma and company were in the action bits of Force Five, as they were faced with Shovel Knight and Donkey Kong. The seven met in the street...now prepare for some cheesy lines.
"You won't get away with this, Shovel Knight and DK!" vowed Touma, pointing at the "villains". For whatever reason, Donkey Kong had his name in initials.
"We'll just have to see about that!" yelled Shovel Knight, rushing over to Touma and nailing him in the shin. Touma yelped in pain as he collapsed unto the ground. "Oh my dear, art thou hurt? My sincerest apologies..."
"CUT!" shouted Eleonora the director, as Shovel Knight was comforting poor Touma. "Shovel Knight, why are you apologizing to Touma? You're supposed to follow the script! Do we even have a script to begin with?"
"No, Touma never wrote one - so far, it's been nothing but improv," replied Falco, as Donkey Kong took out his phone and saw another text notification from - you guessed it - Fox.
"'Crazy lip action'?" the gorilla read the text, before shooting a questionable look at Fox. The pilot acted like there was nothing wrong.
Falco: What did you mean by "crazy lip action"?
Fox: Having one of the villains establish a romantic interest in either Tsubasa or Kiria would be a great plot twist. Keep the audience on their toes.
Falco: Ah, thinking ahead, I see...I dig your style.
"Seriously, Shovel Knight, we're not going anywhere with this show if you're gonna apologize for every little thing that you do," Tsubasa said to the knight, who was still comforting Touma. "You sure you're cut out for the role?"
Just then, a horrid screech was heard from up above, making Tsubasa and company look up. They all saw a purple dragon, flying overhead as the monstrosity it was...it was Ridley, one of the newer brawlers, having received a Smash invite after such a long wait.
"Guys, I think I found a better choice for a villain than Shovel Knight..." uttered Fox, as he watched Ridley fly off to parts unknown.
The tea party in the lounge continued, as Mario and Ganondorf went back and forth about Calamity Ganon. Mario was throwing out facts left and right, and Ganondorf was disputing each and every one of them.
"You two care for some more scones?" the Black Knight asked Mario and Ganondorf, only to receive no response. "So no scones, for either man? More for me then!"
"Mario, I'm truly grateful that we could have this conversation," said Ganondorf, with a hand on his heart.
"Ganondorf, don't you think-a that you're forgetting something?" asked Mario, leading Ganondorf to raise an eyebrow.
"What did I forget? We didn't leave anything out, did we?"
"This-a convo. Two men - one white, one-a possibly Gerudo. A hero and a villain. I could-a smear your name and destroy-a you."
"Go for it, destroy him!" cheered Young Link; by virtue, both buddy cops were pro-Mario. "Show no mercy!"
"What point are you trying to make, Mario?" questioned Ganondorf, feeling rather impatient. "You're not making much sense!"
"My point-a is that..." Mario was stuck on what else to say, until... "...that as long as people like-a you and me keep having these-a conversations, nobody can stop-a America. Not even Calamity Ganon."
"That's right, you tell him Mario!" exclaimed Toon Link, excitedly clapping his hands together. Both he and Young Link broke into a mindless "USA!" chant, while Ganondorf looked confused.
"I'm talking about-a freedom right here, not choice. America doesn't need-a to worry, and neither should-a we. If you want to defeat-a Calamity Ganon, you will. If you don't, you're-a fine. Either way, it's still a victory. If you commit-a enough in a meaningful conversation, like the one-a we just had, you earn a friend. So, cheers-a to this conversation, and to all-a fruitful conversations!"
"What are we even talking about anymore..." questioned Ganondorf, more confused as ever, as Mario proudly stood up while holding his teacup. The buddy cops looked on, with Toon Link proudly shedding a tear.
"Raise-a your cups, raise them-a high." Mario took a sip of his tea. "Mario out." The plumber then placed his cup on the tea table and left the lounge. Ganondorf turned around looked at the plumber, shaking his head.
"That wasn't even the main focus of the conversation..." the demon lord murmured, before turning back around. "I'm growing more concerned about that man by the day..."
That concern of Ganondorf's might as well keep on growing...
Mario: Young Link said-a that if you don't know-a something during a conversation, then change-a the topic. As I expected, Ganondorf was less-a than prepared to talk about America.