Author's Note:
Because I had spent much of my time preparing for and moving into my dorm room, I was left with no choice but to write yet another throwaway chapter. Unlike the other ones before it, this throwaway chapter will include the main characters, in some capacity. Now, reviews:
"Will other Castlevania characters like Alucard and Julius Belmont show up? Is Irene Lew from Ninja Gaiden gonna be part of the Dead or Alive cast when they show up? Can you include a Diablo III chapter? (Since it just got announced for a Switch port) and finally, what are your thoughts Super Neptunia RPG being delayed until Spring of 2019?"
Expect more Castlevania characters to appear in the future. Irene Lew might not be part of the cast. Since Diablo III has a Switch port, it'll get its own chapter. And I've honestly never heard of Super Neptunia RPG, but I will check it out. Next is El pollo campero:
"Will ALBW Zelda be coming soon? Also are there going to be more travel episodes to places like, um, Las Vegas?"
She'll be coming once I find a good moniker for her. And I can always do a travel episode for Las Vegas. That'd be fun...on to Derick Lindsey.
"I was wondering if you could have a chapter where [Dark Samus] and Ridley get into a fight over who gets the first shot at Samus while Samus is forced to keep them calm and civil towards each other?"
Don't know why that sounded so complex when I read it the first time...but I'll give it a shot. Moving on:
"...is it bad that I picture Dan Avidan as Simon for some reason?"
I mean, he kinda has the hair to pull it off...doesn't have the chin, sadly. One last thing:
"is it to early to give an update on what Bowser has been up to since being banned from the mansion?"
It's never too early to give an update on Bowser. He might make a cameo appearance in the next chapter or so. How he'll make said appearance is what I'll have to figure out.
Episode 140: Vampire
Toon Link: In the criminal justice system, offences outside of Smash battles are especially considered heinous. In Seattle, at the Smash Mansion, the dedicated police officers who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as the LPU, the Link Patrol Unit. These are their stories.
Young Link: DUN DUUUUUN!
The renowned buddy cops of the Smash Mansion, known as Toon Link and Young Link, have solved many crimes before. They've helped Princess Peach find her stolen wedding ring. They found out who blew up the microwave in the cafe that one time. Heck, they even managed to mend broken bridges between Gerudo champion Urbosa, and Zelda...the Zelda mainly featured in Smash Life, not the one Champion Link knows.
But today, Toon Link and Young Link would tackle a case the likes of which they've never seen before. Something way out of their comfort zone.
"Serve's up!" shouted Young Link, as he served the ball in a way that would make tennis legend Andy Murray proud. The buddy cops were playing some table tennis in, well, the table tennis room, with R.O.B. around to keep the score.
"Hiyah!" shouted Toon Link, as he struck the tennis ball with his racket. The ball sailed towards Young Link, who send it flying right back, and Toon Link was too slow to hit it back in time, resulting in the point for Young Link.
"FORTY, LOVE..." announced R.O.B., as Young Link started celebrating; Toon Link threw his racket unto the floor like he just lost the match. "YOUNG LINK IS STILL IN THE LEAD..."
"Whaddaya mean by 'forty love'?" Young Link questioned R.O.B., as he stopped celebrating in an instant. "You mean as in like, OVO 40, Drake's producer? Are you insisting that I have a man crush on the guy?"
"Don't get it twisted Hutch, I'm the one who has the man crush..." threatened Toon Link, pointing menacingly at his partner-in-crime. His glare was apparently enough to make Young Link shiver. "...but honestly, I can't fault you if you like him to. As we always say, great minds think alike!"
Toon Link: Feel like Hutch and I have become too similar...I mean seriously, we have the same hair color, the same attire, the same birthmark on our stomach, and the same of everything else! Which is why we mutually agreed to have a tennis match, so we won't be that much different. At the end, one buddy cop will be considered a great tennis player, and the other, well...he'll just suck.
"LET'S CONTINUE THE MATCH...PLEASE..." pleaded R.O.B., allowing the tennis match to resume. Toon Link would serve the tennis ball again, and he sent the ball flying past Young Link, the ball traveling faster than any tennis ball on Mario Tennis Ace. Since there was a double bounce, the point counted.
"Ha ha, in your face!" taunted Toon Link, before doing some kind of chicken dance to further mock his fellow buddy cop. Young Link and R.O.B. had every right to judge the Hylian.
"DEUCE..." The tennis match was now all tied up, at forty - all that was needed for victory was a match point, and a final score. And, perhaps, some bowel movements along the way.
"You want me to drop a deuce, you said?" Toon Link asked R.O.B., as he walked away from the tennis table pulled down his pants "That's weird and disgusting, but if it grants me good luck, then so be it..."
"NO YOU BOZO...BY DEUCE, I MEANT THAT YOU AND YOUNG LINK BOTH HAVE THREE POINTS...IT'S A TIE..." Clearly the buddy cops have never played or even watched tennis before, which might've left R.O.B. very aggravated.
"Ah, I see...should've been more specific..." Toon Link pulled his pants up, as he went to go retrieve his tennis racket. But before he could, a certain vampire hunter entered the room - the famed vampire hunter known as Simon.
"I'm not interrupting your match, am I?" Simon asked the buddy cops, walking to the two youngins the only way he knew how. Exactly how a Belmont would walk. "I have quite the dilemma on my hands!"
"We're here for solving any dilemma, no matter how grand or stupid it may be, so just lay it on us," replied Young Link, as Simon braced himself for what he was about to say. Whatever he was gonna say might alarm the buddy cops (and R.O.B.) greatly.
"It's about one of the swordsmen, Cloud Strife...I'm afraid, that he's...he's a vampire!" The buddy cops collectively gasped in shock, while R.O.B. held his hands up to its face, also in shock. "Didn't want to tell you this soon, but..."
"When did you come to the sudden realization that Cloud was a vampire?" Toon Link, who needed to know as much of Simon's rationale as possible. Cloud being a vampire was something that needed to be addressed right away.
"To be honest, it was Rosalina who found it before I did. I gave that vampire sucker a black eye, but I don't think enough damage was done. Should've killed Cloud outright with my whip...a few lashes would've done the trick!"
Simon: Believe me, I know a vampire when I see one...I know all their qualities, and Cloud has almost every one of them. Moody personality? Telltale sign. Dark sense of style? Telltale sign? Brooding sense of humor? Cloud seldom tells jokes, to be fair, but that's still a telltale sign! And I will be the one to bring Cloud down...but I won't be doing it alone.
Richter: NO WAY am I helping Simon in "destroying Cloud once and for all". Spoke with Cloud already, and he made it very clear that he wasn't a vampire. As I figured. I shouldn't be wasting my time with Simon wasting his own time.
"Woah, woah, ease up buddy, let's not get violent yet," Young Link calmed down the vampire hunter, before he got ready to bring out his whip. "We must see first if Cloud really is a vampire. We should leave that up to Richter."
"About that...Richter apparently doesn't believe that Cloud is a vampire, and he accuse me of being delusional," stated Simon, refusing to believe that he's wrong about Cloud. "We'll see who's the delusional one, once this whole thing is through."
"In order to fully determine whether or not Cloud is a vampire, we must first run a DNA test," said Toon Link, knowing Villager would be the right kid for the job. Apparently he was the buddy cops' trusty forensics expert. "We're gonna need a whole lot of garlic, and maybe some ketchup on the side."
"Forgive me for my ignorance, but what exactly is a DNA test? Does it stand for 'Destroying Negative Aggressors'?" Certainly a wild guess, but it was a good try by Mr. Simon Belmont. And the buddy cops appreciated the effort.
"This man knows too much..." Young Link proudly shook his head, as Toon Link nodded in agreement. "...we don't even deserve him."
Now knowing what their mission was, the buddy cops traversed through the mansion, with Simon following him. Simon agreed with the buddy cops not to lay a single finger on Cloud, at least until it was determined Cloud was a vampire.
"Fortunately I have already figured out how I will mutilate Cloud in my fantasies, and my dreams," Simon quietly told the buddy cops, eagerly waiting till the moment he got his hands around Cloud's neck. "I want you lads to make record of my glorious beatdown, so I'll know when to..."
"Shh!" Toon Link shushed Simon, as the trio came across the gaming room. Toon Link poked his head inside, and saw a maintenance guy, wearing a blue cap, fixing a television. With him was Zero, who likely called the maintenance guy over.
"So basically, your HDMI port is pretty much kaput," the maintenance guy informed Zero, who sighed. You know what a damaged HDMI port meant. "That means you'll probably have to purchase another television, for this room."
"Just as I figured..." sighed Zero, as he looked down at the floor. Buying a new television couldn't be that bad. "It's a good thing we have a few other televisions set up in this gaming room, so nobody won't feel upset."
"Not gonna lie, the setup for this room is pretty nice..." the maintenance guy looked around, easily impressed by how the gaming room looked. "...whoever did this room must be some kind of beast."
"Yeah, you can thank our giant hand for that, Master Hand - this place was his idea. But anyways, thanks for fixing the television, Deandre, really appreciate it." Zero shook hands with the maintenance guy, Deandre, as Toon Link and Young Link both furrowed their brows.
"Hey man, it's always a pleasure. Lemme fix the cable cord outside, and then I'll be on my way." Once the handshake was through, Deandre left the gaming room, and continued down the hallway.
Young Link: Deandre...what kind of name is Deandre? Were his parents so lazy that they added two letters to a commonly used name, to make up for their lack of creativity? Deandre...just saying that name makes me shudder. Are Deandre's parents trying to make him feel special?
"Looks like we have a minor change in plans..." Toon Link said to Young Link, who nodded his head. Both buddy cops were on the same page - they had a new mission, it seemed like. "Simon, we want you to find Villager, and tell him about your claims. He's our forensics guy - he'll help you along the way."
"And what do you boys have to do that's so much more important than taking down vampires?" questioned Simon, disgusted that the buddy cops would abandon him like this. This would've been a great opportunity to know the buddy cops better.
"Taking out that television maintenance guy, of course," replied Young Link, acting like Simon should've known what the buddy cops' new goal was or something. "Definitely looks like he's up to no good, could be a spy or something. Just find Villager, and tell him everything he needs to know!"
"But, but what about..." Before Simon could even finish, the buddy cops both ran away, now on the hunt for Deandre. Simon grunted, as he turned around and walked away. "Richter, you're such a fool for leaving me on my own..."
Samus had felt some type of way when Ridley was added to the mansion. As you know, the bounty hunter has feuded with Ridley for a very long time, and there was a lot of bad blood between the two. And this past week, another one of Samus' arch-enemies was added to the mansion, in Dark Samus - the evil doppelganger of you-know-who.
Master Hand constantly encouraged Samus to get along with Dark Samus - to sort aside their differences and create a special bond with one another - but Samus didn't want anything to do with her evil counterpart. So, to avoid Dark Samus as much as possible, the bounty hunter opted to relax in the lounge, where she would be as far away from Dark Samus as possible.
"What's the easiest way to get Pokemon cards?" the female Inkling asked her male counterpart, as the two youngins were playing with their Pokemon cards in the lounge. A new batch of cards were released the other day. "Been wanting to improve my deck for a while now..."
"I'd say go along with someone to the supermarket, drag them to the Pokemon card section, and whine and beg for Pokemon cards until they give in," suggested the male Inkling, as Samus walked past him. "That's what I used to do with Mario, whenever he went out shopping. Got a whole bunch of limited edition cards because of him."
"Mario has no backbone whatsoever, so it couldn't be that hard..." remarked Samus, her response unheard by the Inklings, as she yawned. She then took a seat on a couch, and afterwards...
...a farting sound was heard. That certainly got the attention of the Inklings, and even Sonic, who was already asleep on the couch before being awakened.
"Aw snap!" the hedgehog awoke as he fell unto the floor. Samus frowned, as she got up from the couch and looked at her seat. "Alright, who here is still eating tacos from Taco Tuesday? Samus, was it you? Why'd you do it, man?!"
"It wasn't me, it was this whoopee cushion!" replied Samus, as she held up the whoopee cushion she saw lying on her seat. "Someone must've placed it there, I bet it was Villager..."
"Look Samus, it's not nice to be blame-shifting, especially for things that you know were your own doing. Tsk tsk tsk..." Samus grew increasingly furious, as she threw the whoopee cushion on the floor and stomped on it. The farting sound was heard once more.
"She did it again!" the male Inkling pointed accusingly at Samus, never feeling this disgusted with the bounty hunter before. "Dang, Samus, this is so unlike you..."
Sonic: Taco Tuesday was arguably one of the worst things to have ever happened to the mansion. Sure, people got gassy from the food (which is why we had to evacuate Wario real quick), but it was more than that. King Dedede wouldn't stop hogging the food. The taco shells were cheap, especially the hard ones. To make matters worse, Dunban and Meta Knight tried to play some mariachi music with K.K. Slider, to liven up the mood, and both were terrible. Way to let people of your own heritage down, Meta Knight!
Meta Knight: After my guitar lessons with K.K. Slider, I decided not to pursue playing the guitar anymore, after Dunban's playing scarred me for life. Judging from what I've heard on Taco Tuesday, I can confidently say that I had the right choice.
"IT WASN'T ME, IT WAS THE FREAKING WHOOPEE CUSHION!" Samus screamed at the top of her lungs, ready to lose her patience if she hasn't already. Whoever dared to pull this prank on the bounty hunter was bound to pay.
"How do you go from blaming Villager to blaming an inanimate object..." wondered Sonic, leaving Samus even more frustrated. Unable to deal with this situation anymore, Samus sucked up her pride and stormed out of the lounge, so she could cool off elsewhere.
Her arch-nemesis, Dark Samus, watched her very closely as she left...
Following the buddy cops' advice, Simon went to go speak with Villager, who was in his room on his bed drawing pictures. About time the young lad was doing something non-fish related.
"Greetings, Villager, what are you up to?" asked Simon, as he took a seat on the Villager's bed. He looked up at the wall, and saw a bunch of bass mounts...he would be more impressed if those bass mounts were replaced with vampire heads.
"Drawing some pictures with crayons!" Villager happily replied, as he revealed one of his drawings to Simon. It was...a picture of a jellyfish, with its stingers taking up the entire space of the paper. Eh, at least it wasn't a sea bass... "Care to join me?"
"I would, if I were a kid again...but that's beside the point." Simon slapped the drawing pad out of Villager's hands, and pulled the young lad closer to him. "I need you to do me a favor. I need you to track down Cloud, and find out whether or not he's a vampire. Got it?"
"You're squeezing my neck..." wheezed Villager, feeling every last breath of him slowly exiting his body. He was gasping for air, his spoon hands near his neck.
"I shall let go of your nonexistent neck if you agree to my terms." Simon's grip was strong, too strong, and Villager didn't know if it would be his last time breathing. He couldn't die at the hands of a vampire killer - he wasn't even a vampire to begin with!
"We'll find out if Cloud is a vampire...together," was Villager's final answer, and Simon was delighted as he dropped the lad unto his bed. Villager was left gasping for air, as he clutched his neck. Wherever the heck it was.
The buddy cops followed the maintenance dude, Deandre, outside to his car. They were both hiding behind a tree, and were spying on Deandre from afar as he was pulling out equipment from his vehicle.
"Look at this egotistical terrorist, trying to destroy the mansion with his weapons of mass destruction..." Toon Link said distastefully, as Deandre pulled out a cable cord and some tools. Weapons of mass destruction indeed. "...pure, absolute human filth!"
"That's just putting it lightly, Starsky - this guy doesn't deserve to be living on our planet," stated Young Link, watching carefully as Deandre walked to the side of the mansion where the satellite was. "Just look at him scratching his head...truly a criminal act."
Master Hand: Dark Pit accidentally cut the cable cord while he was mowing the lawn, so Zero had to call in a TV repair dude to either fix the cord, or replace it entirely. Hopefully that new cable cord won't be used, so that way we could use it to take turns choking Dark Pit, as punishment for his actions. No tears from Flora will change my mind.
Deandre knelt down at where the broken cable cord was, and analyzed it as the buddy cops watched closely. A few seconds passed, and Deandre did the unthinkable...he took the broken ends of the cable cord, and taped them together! Such a despicable act!
"He's trying to blow up our home!" Toon Link gasped in shock and horror, believing that the broken cable cord was some kind of fuse connected to a bomb. "So many lives will be lost, at the very hands of that evil sociopath..."
"Whoever called that punk to our mansion must be the most stupid of stupid idiots, and deserves to be arrested at once," added Young Link, filled with great disdain as Deandre checked the seemingly repaired cable cord, to see if the tape worked. "But first, this Deandre person must die, just like Romeo...if he's Romeo, then who's the Juliet?"
"Eh, I'm pretty sure Deandre has some side chick lying around, might be at a nightclub or something. We'll find her and kill her, just for good measure. Right now, we should focus all our attention on our criminal..."
Suddenly a Frisbee was thrown at Toon Link, nailing him in the head. The Hylian winced in pain as he grabbed his head, and fell to the ground as Poochy came over to retrieve the Frisbee. But not before licking Toon Link's face, to alleviate the pain.
"Toon-a Link, my bad!" Mario called out from afar, as he ran over to the buddy cops and Poochy. Much to the chagrin of Toon Link and Young Link, Mario caught the attention of Deandre, who saw the buddy cops in plain sight. "Might've been a bit-a too forceful on that throw..."
"I think you meant A LOT..." remarked Toon Link, as Mario helped him up. The Hylian was rubbing his head, as Poochy was licking his shoes. "Thanks to you and your dog, you've ruined our spying mission..."
"Mr. Mario, what's up my man?" Deandre shouted to the plumber, waving to him. Mario saw Deandre, and he waved back; the buddy cops, being seen by their "culprit", ran away from the scene.
"Nice seeing you again-a Deandre!" Mario waved right back; apparently he and Deandre know each other quite well. Same could be said for Zero, and possibly Master Hand and a few others. "You aren't-a busy right-a now, are you?"
"Not anymore - just had to fix the mansion's cable cord. Zero said the new groundskeeper accidentally cut it while mowing the lawn. I'll stick the cord down in a place where such an incident won't happen again. So, what's up?"
"It's-a my wife, Princess Peach...she's been trying to delete-a something from our television, and nothing she does-a seem to work. Maybe you can-a help her?"
Peach: I've finally decided, I made my mind up...Mario's Netflix subscription...WILL BE CANCELLED! I've had just about enough of Mario's dastardly ways! That Mario thinks he could watch all the vulgar episodes of his favorite shows...and not invite me! Just because I'm a princess doesn't mean that I can't watch all the gritty shows airing today! But unfortunately, Impa and Lana are both old-fashioned, so they don't know how to end the subscription...
Cappy: I overheard Peach expressing her desire to end the Netflix subscription, and I told Mario about it, and Mario is now determined to keep that subscription intact. Which is why he's looking for the right person to distract Peach, and prevent her from doing the unthinkable!
Impa: Doesn't Princess Peach not know what "parental controls" are?
Lana: Silly Impa, Peach isn't Mario's parent! And besides, Jennifer isn't even old enough to be watching this Netflix thing! Or so I think...
Impa: That wasn't even what I was talking about...oh, never mind...
"Delete something?" Deandre raised an eyebrow, before shrugging it off. He was always willing to help, no matter what the situation was. "Whatever it is, I'll give it a shot. You and Peach are my best customers, after all."
"You got-a that right..." smiled Mario, albeit wickedly, as he led Deandre and Poochy to his home. The buddy cops, now hiding in the shrubbery at the front of the mansion, saw Deandre as he went to Mario's house and feared for the worst.
"Oh man, now Deandre wants to blow up Mario's house instead!" panicked Young Link, already seeing the explosion play out in his mind as Mario let Deandre inside his home. "This can't be! This is like Mario and Peach's wedding day all over again!"
"For all we know, Deandre could be Jakob in disguise, needing a 'last laugh' after his sorry attempt from last year," hypothesized Toon Link, who wouldn't put it past Jakob for wanting to make Mario's life a living nightmare. "The writing is already on the wall..."
"Um, what are you two losers doing in the shrubbery?" asked an inquisitive voice, as the buddy cops looked up and saw Dark Pit peering down at them, holding a watering can. Something about holding that watering can made the doppelganger feel defeated, somehow. "Mr. Game and Watch wants these flowers planted, and you're kinda in my way..."
"Sorry about that Dark Pit, we'll let you continue your groundskeeping work," apologized Toon Link, as he and Young Link got out of the bushes. "Just don't pour any water on the cable cord, aight?" Dark Pit did a pump fake on the buddy cops, who jumped out of fright and ran away.
"Yeah, that's right, you better run! Pathetic losers..." With the buddy cops finally gone, Dark Pit finally got to water the flowers. And as he did so, Crash showed up and unzipped his pants, before getting down on all fours and lifting up his leg like how a dog would. "CRASH BANDICOOT, YOU BETTER NOT..." Dark Pit threatened.
Link and Cloud were walking together in the mansion, down the hallway like two cool dudes. So cool...
"Is it just me, or does it feel like we're being watched, or followed?" Cloud perked up, feeling that someone was secretly spying on him and Link. The swordsman found himself curiously looking around, unsure about his surroundings.
"Heh, now you know how I feel whenever Midna is following me," chuckled Link, glad he wasn't the only one who had that feeling. "Trust me Cloud, it isn't easy being a member of the Twilight Realm..."
Before Cloud could respond, the swordsman was ambushed from behind, by Villager. The young lad was on Cloud's back, and he had some garlic dangling over his face, hanging from a string.
"Eat the garlic, I say, eat it now!' demanded Villager, wanting to see if Cloud would take the bait. But it didn't seem like the swordsman was gonna budge. "Do it or else...or else...I'LL KILL YOU!"
"Uh, sorry Cloud, but uh, I gotta see what Zelda's up to and, uh..." stammered Link, before bolting down the hallway. Some friend he was supposed to be.
"Link you traitor..." Cloud called out his best friend before getting up, only for Villager to put the swordsman back down. "Villager, will you please get this stupid garlic away from my face?"
"Did someone say garlic?" questioned Wario, appearing out from his room as he saw the garlic in sight. He snatched the garlic from Villager, and ran back to his room and closed the door. "Come to papa!" Wario could be heard from behind the door.
Wario: No, I still haven't given up hope on winning Palutena's heart. She will be mine, no matter what she says about humans and goddesses and all that stupid crap. It's very clear that Lady Palutena doesn't know how romance works...it's all about overcoming the odds, and rising up to the occasion and stomping your haters to the ground. Palutena must not have that much haters in her lifetime, I'm assuming. Being a goddess of light certainly puts her on a very high pedestal!
"Fine then, if you didn't want the garlic...then try this on for size!" exclaimed Villager, as he took out a salt shaker and shook some salt on Cloud. Cloud looked up at the young lad like he was crazy, before kicking him off.
"Look, I don't know what your problem is, but you seriously need to chill out," Cloud sternly told Villager, once he was back up on his two feet. "Don't know why you tried to force me to eat garlic, or why you shook salt over my head, but it's making me feel very irritated." Cloud walked away, shaking his head at Villager's behavior.
"You have won this round, Mr. Strife, but next time you won't be so fortunate..." vowed Villager, watching Cloud walk down the hallway, before tiptoeing to a giant vase; Villager touched said vase, and Simon appeared from behind it.
"Judging from what I've heard, the first trial didn't go exactly as we hoped," remarked the vampire hunter, refusing to stop until he exposed Cloud for the vampire that he was. "What else do you have in mind, forensics expert Villager?"
"Our next trial will involve pushing Cloud out into direct sunlight, and see if he'll burn up to a crisp. Cloud will be exposed as a vampire then..."
With the lounge now off-limits thanks to the whoopee cushion, Samus went to the cafe, the least likeliest place she would see either Ridley or Dark Samus. Not like either one of them could drink coffee; though they could if they tried.
"Wonder who left that whoopee cushion there on the couch," wondered Samus, while she was fixing her coffee. Had to pour in as much creamer and sugar as possible, but not too much. "It couldn't have been meant for me." Once Samus was done fixing her coffee, the bounty hunter took a sip...
...only to be kicked from behind, causing her to spit her coffee out and also waste some of her coffee unto the floor too. Angered, Samus turned around and saw Kumatora and Paula, with the former smiling sweetly and innocently.
"Okay, which one of you girls kicked me while I was drinking my coffee?" scolded Samus, as she took out her Paralyzer gun and pointed it at Kumatora and Paula. This woman did not play around. "It was you, Kumatora, was it?!"
"If you must know...it was indeed her doing," replied Paula, as Kumatora frowned and gave the southern belle a nudge. "What, I don't know what that gun is capable of! I don't wanna get hurt!"
"You're gonna get hurt regardless, once I'm through with you..." threatened Kumatora, as she shook her fist at Paula. Umwritten Rule #31: never engage in physical activity with Kumatora, if you truly valued your life.
"Just promise me you won't be kicking me again, okay?" Samus said to Kumatora and Paula, who both nodded their heads. "Good. Now if you excuse me, I have some coffee to drink."
Samus would leave the room, drinking her coffee, and as she did so, Kumatora and Paula couldn't help but giggle at the "KICK ME" sign on Samus' back. The bounty hunter failed to notice this sign, and she also failed to notice Dark Samus, standing by the cafe entrance.
Paula: Okay, I have a confession to make...it was me who kicked Samus. That "KICK ME" sign was just too alluring. Thanks for taking the bullet for me, Kumatora! You're such a great friend!
Kumatora: *arms folded, as she looks away* Wish I could say the same thing myself...
Cloud was unable to track down Link, after his best friend pretty much deserted him, so the ex-SOLDIER had no choice but to hang out with his girlfriend, Aerith, in the mansion gardens. He was helping Aerith dig up some soil, so more flowers could be planted.
"Pick up the pace, Cloud, we got some new soil to put in!" Olimar rushed the swordsman, as he and Alph were holding bags of garden soil. The bags were apparently too much for Alph, whose knees were buckling mightily.
"Please...hurry...my legs...and arms...feel tired..." Alph pleaded, before his knees ultimately gave up and he fell to the ground with a thud. The bags of soil all fell on top of him.
"Aerith told me specifically to go slow and steady, so if you have a problem with my work speed, then you should to speak with her," retorted Cloud, trying not to pay the astronauts any mind. Cloud could care less what Olimar said or think.
"Well just pick up the pace a little bit, okay? We're not gonna get anything done if..." Olimar looked down, and saw Alph buried underneath the bags of soil, and panicked. "Alph, nooooo!" Olimar frantically grabbed the bags of soil, and threw them away like it was nothing.
"What is going on, what is the problem?" wondered Aerith as she walked over to Cloud to investigate. She saw Olimar, holding Alph in his hands like the young astronaut was slowly dying or something.
"No, Alph, you were too young, you didn't deserve to go out like this...what will Hocotate Freight think of me? What will Brittney and Charlie think of me, after they hear about your untimely passing? Tell me it isn't so!"
"I think Alph's just fine, Olimar - no need to be overdramatic." Olimar took out a red Pikmin and hurled it at Aerith...and missed, terribly...before resuming his dramatic antics.
"It's gonna be okay Alph, everything will be alright from here on out...I shall carry your legacy, and soon the whole world will know your name! Man, I'm so screwed once Hocotate Freight finds out about this..."
"Didn't even know Alph was good enough to even have a legacy," remarked Cloud, as he stopped working and stood up on his two feet...only to be shoved by Villager. The swordsman was shoved out of the shade, and into the sunlight, with the sun beams radiating upon him.
"Yes, burn Cloud Strife, BURN!" cackled Villager; seeing how Villager was acting, and how overdramatic Olimar was, Aerith backed away from the premises as much as possible. "Burn like the wretched being you are!"
"You honestly expect me to burn in the sunlight?" Cloud was left even more judgmental of Villager than ever before. "We're in Seattle, one of the least hottest cities in the country...a hot place here would be like a cool afternoon in Florida."
"I know why you're not burning up...it's because you're using sunscreen! A special kind of sunscreen, at that! Tell me what brand it is, so I can infiltrate and destroy the very company that makes it! TELL ME!"
"Are you not listening to a single word I'm saying, Villager? We. Are. In. Seattle. The sun hardly means anything to me, or to you, or to anyone living in this city. I think that's why people think Seattle is depressing...but I'm not the one to play into generalizations."
Cloud: Come to think of it, we really sure waste our sunscreen while we're chilling on the Washington beaches...though I'm speaking on behalf of my fellow residents. That's their money wasted, not mine. It's their problem.
"Likely excuse Cloud...but soon I shall expose you, and the whole world shall see the truth!" vowed Villager, as he walked away, staring intently at Cloud. Cloud just stood there and watched as the young lad left the gardens, vowing to expose Cloud sooner than later.
"It is safe now?" Aerith asked her boyfriend as she returned to the premises, only to see Olimar petting Alph's face like he was dead. Little did the astronaut know that his pupil was just exhausted. "I'll be...over there, if you need me, Cloud...just get back to digging up the soil."
"I'm on it," replied Cloud, as Aerith returned to where she originally was. Digging up the soil oughta keep the swordsman away from Villager.
Speaking of Villager, the young lad returned to the interior of the mansion, having a word with Simon. Simon could tell by the look of Villager's face that his second trial was a failure.
"Cloud didn't burn up in the sunlight as we hoped, did he?" the exasperated vampire hunter asked, as Villager let out a sigh. "Thought for sure we could've proved he was a vampire then..."
"I suspect that Cloud was wearing some kind of sun lotion or sunscreen to prevent him from burning in the direct sunlight," theorized Villager, wishing he knew what kind of special "sunscreen" Cloud used. "But no worries, Mr. Belmont, I have another trial in mind..."
Deandre had one job, and one job only at Mario's house - distract Peach from cancelling Mario's Netflix subscription. If he succeeded in his mission, then Mario would give him the greatest tip a television maintenance guy could ask for. On the flipside, if Deandre failed...then nothing will probably happen. Save for a ticked off Mario, of course.
"You sure we can't cancel the Netflix subscription online?" Peach asked Deandre, who was configuring the television remote like he was putting the settings in place. "Thought that'd be an easier way."
"An easier way to get malware on your computer, perhaps," replied Deandre, who looked up and saw Mario from afar, watching closely. The plumber gave a thumbs up, and Deandre gave a thumbs up in return. "Also, you would have to put up with a bunch of questionnaires and whatnot. Do one of those, and you'll get some 'free product' mailed to your door."
"Sounds ironic, considering that Netflix is kinda against advertising." That was the case at least until Netflix started experimenting with advertising - and in turn rattled their customers. "That makes me want to cancel Mario's subscription more!"
"Don't get rash, Princess Peach - Netflix is just trying to make their money, that's all! Sure, it might not be the best way to do it, or the grandest way...but they gotta make that green!"
Mario: Should I use this time to make-a the Koopalings happy? Of course, However, losing my Netflix subscription-a will be like losing...a son I never had. Don't tell-a Peach I ever said that...
Spying on Deandre and observing his every action was none other than Toon Link and Young Link, the buddy cops keeping a close eye on their suspect. Toon Link was looking at Deandre through his telescope, whereas Young Link was taking notes on a notepad.
"It's not looking so good for our suspect, Starsky..." Young Link shook his head, as he was jotting down his notes. Judging from the Hylian's body language, there was zero chance Deandre would make it out alive. "I can already see him being behind bars one day."
"Quick, tell me what notes you have written down," ordered Toon Link, wanting to know what his partner-in-crime wrote so the two could be on the same page.
"Let's see...'trying to flirt with Princess Peach'...'picks his nose when nobody is watching'...'has a fairly extensive knowledge of Stranger Things, exhibited through dialogue with Peach'...all of those are definite red flags to me. What do you think?"
"My goodness, red flag doesn't even BEGIN to describe those items you listed!" Toon Link looked at Deandre all distraught, unable to comprehend that such a malicious person could even exist on this planet. "Screw arresting this punk - we need to destroy him for good!"
"That was what I was thinking. But if we wanna destroy him, we gotta do it in secret. Can't let him or anyone else see us in the act."
It was honestly hard to tell what favorite kind of music Cloud listened to. As you already know, the swordsman wasn't exactly an open book, and didn't like sharing his favorite things with others because he believed nobody would care. That would be a hindrance, however, as many curious folks constantly bother Cloud and ask him what he likes and dislikes. A win-lose situation.
If there was anyone in the mansion desiring the most to know what kind of music Cloud liked, it would have to be Pit, who was now dragging Cloud through the mansion after the swordsman was done fulfilling his duties for Aerith. Cloud was really wishing Link hadn't bailed on him earlier.
"So Cloud, what kind of music do you listen to?" Pit asked the swordsman. Cloud has heard many derivatives of that very question - what show do you watch, what book series do you enjoy reading, what member of Backstreet Boys do you love the most - and it has hindered the swordsman more than it has helped.
"Like I told you and many others before, that's none of my business," Cloud replied with an answer he would always give out when asked a question about this favorite things. Dude should really pick a different answer. "Not like my response is gonna affect you any."
"Fine then, mister, how about I tell you what music I like to hear...I personally enjoy listening to wizard rock and nerdcore songs, in my downtime. I would strongly recommend listening to Draco and the Malfoys. Or Starbomb, they're pretty good!"
"Pit...the more you speak, the more I have the right to openly judge you. Stop using your mouth as a platform for stupidity."
Cloud: Draco and the Malfoys is an actual band? *shakes head* Too many people reading Harry Potter these days...it's almost like a cult now. Sometimes it's scary to see.
"We're here!" announced Pit, as he and Cloud arrived at a door on the first floor. Cloud saw this door, and feared for the worst. Always had to have that mindset for anything Pit-related.
"You want me to go inside?" Cloud asked Pit, who eagerly nodded his head. Cloud shrugged, then placed his hand on the doorknob and opened the door, entering a darkened room with little to no sunlight.
Then suddenly, the swordsman was greeted by an organ tune, one that nearly made him jump. The tune sounded like something you would hear if you walked into a castle in Transylvania. Playing this organ was Viridi, who still maintained her skills on the keys.
"Welcome, Cloud Strife!" the goddess of nature cackled, before letting out an evil laugh. Cloud looked around, unsure what to think. Did Viridi turn into a vampire somehow, or was this just a phase.
"Lemme guess...Pit's returning to that stupid little phase he went through last year," asked Cloud, now wondering where Kirby was. "Is Pit gonna start speaking in some British accent, and have a flying drone hovering above him, and force Dark Pit to join his side?"
"Oh, heavens, no! Pit got over that after Dark Pit gave him a taste of his own medicine." Viridi stopped playing the organ, as she turned around to face Cloud. "Pit and I were just wondering if you were into classical music. Thought you'd be a fan of..."
"Is this some lousy trick to force me into liking a certain music genre?" Viridi looked down at the floor, fiddling with her thumbs behind her back. "Well you and Pit definitely failed...but I'll give you both an A for effort."
Cloud would promptly leave the room, as Viridi joined Pit at the doorway and watched the swordsman storm off. At that moment, Villager and Simon appeared from behind the organ, and joined Pit and Viridi.
"Drat, I thought that would've exposed Cloud for being the vampire that he is..." Simon snapped his fingers in disgust, with Villager having to return to the drawing board. So close, yet so far. "...this is turning out to be much harder than I thought!"
"What exactly were we supposed to accomplish?" Pit asked Villager and Simon, fearing that he might've done something wrong. The angel had quite a dubious history of doing the wrong thing.
"The intent was to make Cloud relish in the music, and become so filled up with cheer that he turns into a vampire...or something like that," explained Villager, as Pit and Viridi were left confused. "I don't think your playing was great enough to trigger the reaction we expected, Viridi."
"What did you say about my playing, you spoon hand freak?!" Viridi snapped, as she lunged towards Villager. Good thing Pit was there to hold the goddess back.
Samus: Someone is definitely trying to get me...first the whoopee cushion thing, and now the kick me sign, which I didn't noticed until later when Layton pointed it out to me. It's become quite clear someone's trying to prank me today, and I've got a hunch for who it is...
Realizing that nowhere is safe, Samus ultimately decided to head to the one place where she found solace, other than her own bedroom...and she hasn't found much solace there recently, what with Fiora being her roommate. This place of solace was none other than the workshop. And when Samus entered the workshop...
...she slipped and fell on the floor, landing on her butt. The bounty hunter looked down, and saw that the hardwood floor of the workshop was wet. She was pranked yet again, and she had just about enough of it.
"Ooh, that does it..." frowned Samus, as she got back up to her feet. She stormed out of the workshop, and looked around for the culprit. She looked to her left, and then she looked to her right,..and saw Dark Samus. "You were the one who wetted the workshop floor so I would slip and fall, weren't you?!"
Dark Samus didn't respond, and she couldn't since she had no grasp of the human language. Instead, the doppelganger just stared at Samus, possibly cracking a smile out of amusement. Did Dark Samus even have a face underneath her helmet?
"I know you can't talk, so I'll just have to force an answer out of ya..." Samus approached Dark Samus, looking at her arch-nemesis face-to-face, mono e mono. Fox and Falco left their bedroom, and saw the two Samuses staring each other down.
"Woah ladies, ease up!" Fox shouted, as he and Falco ran over to the Samuses and held them back before any fighting could ensue. Fox was holding Samus, and Falco was holding Dark Samus. "Master Hand said that you two would get along, isn't that right?"
"We could really use some backup right now!" shouted Falco, and soon residents came out of their rooms to join in - Captain Falcon, Roy, Marth, and Ness restraining Samus, and Ganondorf, Chrom, Lucina, and Lucas restraining Dark Samus. Something about this scene felt...coincidental.
"Knew that the hug from last week would be a bad sign of things to come..." Fox and the others found it hard to restrain Samus, and the same could be said for Falco and his crew while restraining Dark Samus.
"What is this, a catfight in the hallway?" asked the Flying Man, as he showed up in the hallway for no reason other than to break up potential fights. "Now ladies, this isn't the right time or place! Save this nonsense for the wrestling ring! Or in the parking lot, at least!"
"Why don't you stop yapping your mouth and tell Master Hand that things with Samus and Dark Samus are still tense?" Falco said to the Flying Man, who giddily accepted his mansion and ran away from the hallway. Time for Master Hand to face the music.
Fox: I can't for the life of me understand why Samus hugging Dark Samus would make things better. If anything, hugging makes things worse...
Falco: That is so untrue, my friend. Here, let me show you... *opens arms wide* ...come here!
Fox: No, dude, stop it! *punches Falco in the face, sending him to the floor, then looks back at the camera* See what I mean? Hugging will only get you hurt, or in serious trouble. Unless you're a professional wrestler.
Lucario got around to destroying the machine up in the attic, meaning to do so after the pool party last week. He showed the destroyed machine to Master Hand, as proof of his work.
"Thanks a bunch for destroying the machine, Lucario!" Master Hand thanked the aura Pokemon, although anyone else could destroy the machine without fail. "You know, maybe I should dedicate a day to you...how does 'Lucario Day' sound to you?"
"Noooooo, I don't deserve any praise or hoopla, just for what I did," replied Lucario, who was always known for being very humble and modest. It was in his nature. "Thought you learned your lesson already from the whole Pikachu Day thing."
"Master Hand, Master Hand, we have an emergency!" the Flying Man alerted the giant hand, as he climbed up into the attic. "It's about one of the new residents!"
"Is Simon off hunting for vampires again?" asked Master Hand, assuming Simon was on a vampire-hunting expedition. "Please tell him that Dracula is nowhere to be found...one time was enough!"
"No, it's not about Simon...it's about Dark Samus, rather. She and Samus were about to come to blows near the workshop."
"WHAT?! Did that hug not teach them anything?! Go find those two, and tell them to meet me in my room, pronto..."
Cloud was so bothered by everything happening to him today, that he thought he deserved a break from it all by hanging out outside of the mansion with Richter. The swordsman and the vampire hunter were chilling out near the basement door, near the mansion wall.
"Simon believes that I'm a vampire, and it's all thanks to Rosalina," Cloud explained to Richter, like he expected the vampire hunter to set things straight for the elder Belmont. "If Rosa really wanted Simon to cool off, she should've told him the real truth..."
"That would never work, Simon is vampire-obsessed," stated Richter, leaning against the wall with his arms folded. "Even more so than I am! He thinks every place has a vampire lurking about. Calls it his 'sixth sense'."
"Ha, some sixth sense that's supposed to be...what should I do, to make Simon stop assuming that I'm a vampire?" Richter thought up of a solution, with his finger underneath his chin.
"I'd say you should play with his mind - tell him that you're a vampire, and also tell him that if he lays a single finger on you, Master Hand will kick him out of the mansion for good. Which will make you untouchable. Simon won't bother you then!"
Richter: Yeah, if Simon gets the boot, then I might get the boot as well, but sometimes you gotta know who you're stuck with. Just gotta make the most of it...if you even can.
Suddenly some loud mumbling could be heard from the basement door, catching the curiosity of Cloud and Richter. Cloud opened the attic door and saw a man, duct tape on his mouth with his hands and feet tied together, as the Rabbids - who were still hanging around in the basement - were pulling him towards them.
"Holy smokes, this guy needs our help!" exclaimed Richter, as he and Cloud both grabbed the man and pulled him out. Richter quickly closed the basement door, before the Rabbids could escape. "Are you okay, sir?" Richter asked the rescued man.
"Don't ask him yet, man, we gotta get the duct tape off first," said Cloud, as he tore off the duct tape from the man's mouth. Didn't care how much it hurt the man. "You okay man?"
"Aside from my mouth being in pain...yeah, I'm fine," the man replied, as Richter offered to untie him. "Sucks that I was in the basement...was stuck with nothing but those crackhead rabbits."
"Hold on, you look a bit familiar..." Cloud took a good look at the man, recognizing his face. "...aren't you the guy that usually repairs our television and stuff?"
"Yes, that would be me...Deandre. Got tossed in that attic by some lanky man with a mustache. What was his name again?"
Back to Mario's house, where Deandre was still "helping" Peach out with cancelling...wait, there's a Deandre here, and there's a Deandre outside. What on earth is going on?!
"No, Princess Peach, we can't call Netflix, you'll wind up disgracing Mario's name," Deandre kindly told the princess, who was more than ready to dial the number on the house phone. "Mario's a pretty respectable dude, after all."
"The Netflix subscription will be cancelled regardless, so I don't know what the big deal is," responded Peach, as she dialed in the number. Deandre had to act fast, or Mario could kiss his Netflix subscription goodbye...
"Was that the door-a bell just now?" asked Mario, who was feeding Jennifer when he heard the doorbell rang. The plumber came out of the nursery and answered the door, seeing Cloud, Richter...and Deandre.
"Hey Mario, have you seen Waluigi around?" Cloud asked the plumber, who was wondering why Deandre was with the swordsman. Mario looked at the Deandre in front of him, then back at the Deandre in his living room. He did this multiple times, finding himself confused.
"Why...do you wanna know where Waluigi is?" After seeing two Deandres, Mario desired an answer to his question, and fast.
"Because I believe that he was the guy that tossed me in the mansion basement," replied Deandre, the one standing on Mario's doorstep.
"That is so untrue, stop telling lies!" snapped Deandre, the one standing in the living room. It wasn't until he saw the other Deandre that this Deandre's face sank. "Uh oh, I'm done for..."
"Now Hutch, attack!" shouted Toon Link, as he and Young Link leaped from the ceiling and landed on top of Deandre in the living room, sending him to the floor and landing on his back. "You're under arrest, you crook!"
"Looks like you won't be needing this anymore..." said Young Link, as he took off Deandre's cap...and also his mask, revealing Deandre to be none other than Waluigi. Everyone gasped, as the real Deandre remained on Mario's doorstep.
"Hi everyone..." Waluigi sheepishly waved to everyone, with a ginger smile. No smile of his would save him from the trouble he'll be facing.
"Trying to get as close-a to Master Hand as possible, aren't we?" asked Mario, as he scolded Waluigi. "You're not going to be in-a Smash, Waluigi, just get over it..."
Peach: That Waluigi is such a poor soul...he'll do anything to earn a Smash spot, including impersonating as other people. But if he was impersonating as Deandre, a real person, does that mean that the old man from the post office Captain Falcon spoke of...is a real person too?!
Toon Link: Knew from the very beginning Waluigi was in disguise as the TV repair man all along. Had the stature and height to pull it off.
Young Link: Ha, I knew it was Waluigi all along too. We're so alike in so many different ways...it's gotten creepy now. We should get back to playing table tennis soon...
"Yeah, that's the dude who threw me into the basement when I got to the mansion!" Deandre pointed at Waluigi, who was pinned to the floor by the buddy cops. "Said he was off to earn respect or some crap...it's bad enough that he stole my likeness, somehow."
"Trust me mister, it wasn't that hard to duplicate your attire..." retorted Waluigi, struggling to get up thanks to the buddy cops on his back. "...though crafting the mask was. Had to be very precise with the facial features..."
"Uh huh...well, your efforts will be nothing now," stated Peach, as she dialed a few numbers on the phone. "I'm calling the cops." Waluigi waved his hands to Peach to stop her, but it was no use. Waluigi had to take this L with dignity.
"If Master Hand just added me, none of this would happen..." Waluigi sighed, as he looked down at the floor. The buddy cops looked up, and saw Cloud - the man Simon warned them about being a vampire.
"Cloud Strife, stay right where you are!" ordered Toon Link, as Cloud looked on in confusion. "You're coming with us to our office!"
In Master Hand's room, Master Hand was having a word with Samus and Dark Samus. With him was Lucario, who was stuck with the giant hand. Also there to play peacemaker, if necessary.
"Dark Samus, were you the one who's been pranking Samus all day long?" Master Hand asked the doppelganger, who did not say a single word. Let the silence spoke for itself. "Well Samus, the jury's out, Dark Samus did no wrong."
"But that's not fair, Dark Samus can't even speak!" frowned Samus, putting herself in a precarious position of incurring Master Hand's fury.
"Now, now, no need to pick on Dark Samus just because of her deficiencies. That's called bullying. I want you to foster a good relationship with Dark Samus, not bully her to no end. Do I make myself clear?"
"I'm telling you, Master Hand, she's the one pranking me...don't know why she would do it, but I have a glut feeling that she's..."
"I SAID, DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?!" Master Hand repeated himself, in a louder voice. Enough to rock Samus' and Lucario's eardrums.
"Yes, I hear you loud and clear..." Samus folded her arms, as she looked the other way. She'll have her chance to get back at Master Hand one day.
"Excellent! You two are free to go. Remember, I want to be positive interactions between you two, not negative! Always think positive, that's the way to go!"
So Samus and Dark Samus left the room, both going their separate ways. Dark Samus went to the foyer...where Red the Pokemon Trainer was waiting.
"So, how did it go?" Red asked Dark Samus, who gave the trianer a thumbs up. Red smiled in response. "Awesome...here's some more hush money for ya. Keep it secret, keep it safe..." Red gave Dark Samus a dollar bill, before the two parted ways.
Red: Got Dark Samus pranking Samus for me, as payback for stealing the Master Ball. I know Samus is guilty for what she did, and she'll be pranked and not know why...don't know what Dark Samus will do with the money, though.
Toon Link and Young Link were back in their office, interrogating Cloud. On their board was pictures of the new residents - Simon as "He-Man", Kumatora as "Wannabe Tomboy", Fiora as "The Walking Spoiler", Polar Bear as "Klondike", and a few others.
"So, Cloud Strife, is it true that you're a vampire?" Toon Link asked the swordsman, who was seated in a chair with his hands tied behind his back.
"Absolutely not," replied Cloud, to which Toon Link slapped the swordsman in the face. "Getting slapped simply for telling the truth, how fitting..."
"I don't think you were being thorough enough," Young Link said to his partner, moving Toon Link aside. "Watch closely..." The Hylian cleared his throat, and asked Cloud the following: "Cloud Strife, is it true that you're a vampire?"
"You literally just asked the same question..." Cloud got slapped again, this time by Young Link. The swordsman hardly flinched. "Can you please cut it out with the slapping? It's quite childish, I'll say."
"We'll stop slapping when you start revealing your true self." Just then, Villager entered the police office, along with Simon. "Ah, our forensics expert is here, along with the accuser! Prepare to be outed for the vampire that you are, Cloud!"
"Actually, you two, Villager and I came to a decision, that..." Simon started, knowing that what he'll say afterwards will break the buddy cops. "...that Cloud is NOT a vampire." As expected, both buddy cops were shocked beyond relief.
"What, Cloud was just a regular person this whole time?" questioned Toon Link; about time he caught up with the program. "It's bad enough that the guy we spied on was Waluigi in disguise, but this, this is something else..."
"I tried every trick in the book," said Villager, who was starting to feel stupid for his attempts to "expose" Cloud. "Garlic, sunlight, organic music...and not a single reaction from Cloud. He just...moved on."
"That must mean Rosalina is wrong for saying Cloud was a vampire in the first place..." assumed Young Link, staring into the distance. "...we should arrest her, for lying. And her Luma, too - he's probably got a long list of heinous crimes under his belt. Might be on America's Most Wanted. Well Cloud, you're free to...go?"
Young Link returned his attention to Cloud...but the swordsman was no longer there. All that was left was the chair, and some rope.
"Thanks for saving me from those weirdos, Link," Cloud thanked the Hylian, as the two friends were back to walking in the hallway. "They wouldn't leave me alone."
"Ah, don't mention it - it was thanks to Simon, for leaving the door open," smiled Link, his arms folded behind his back. "Gave me all the time in the world to untie you, while he was speaking with those buddy cops..."
"Still can't believe Simon thought I was a vampire...though it was Rosalina's fault more than anything. But Simon will leave me alone, so that's a plus..."
Toon Link: Thanks to our valiant efforts, we captured Waluigi before he could blow up the mansion. Crisis averted. But learning that Cloud isn't a vampire is something that'll haunt us for the rest of our careers. Make no mistake, Rosalina will receive her just desserts for spreading false information about her fellow residents. Hutch, theme song...
Young Link: *sings Law and Order theme song*