Author's Note:
Another throwaway episode, early in the year, since I was pressed for time. And yes, it's centered around the Super Bowl. Most of you may already know who I'm rooting for to win it all. But aside from that, we have some guest reviews:
"Will Fei and Elly from Xenogears show up? Has Otacon from the Metal Gear Solid games shown up yet? Can you include references to the Etrian Odyssey games? Is Ken using his Street Fighter II or Street Fighter V look? Will any of the final bosses from all the Kirby games show up? And finally, what are your thoughts on Retro Studios coming back to work on Metroid Prime 4?"
Sure. Not yet. Don't know what that is, but sure. Ken is using his SF2 look (his SFV is bleh). A few final bosses from the Kirby series will show up. And as long as Metroid Prime 4 is polished upon released, Retro Studios can take all the time they need. A fan of this story named...Fan, has a question to ask me:
"...have you ever thought about killing a character off?"
Good question! I actually had considered killing off Elise of Fire Emblem, since she's canonically dead in Fates. I was gonna pull it off in chapter 79, and announce her death in the next chapter...but I changed my mind. I even thought about killing off Dr. Wily, though that was only for a brief moment of time. Up next is Derick Lindsey:
"I wonder who Cortex's new roommate will be and will the chicken costume and heart patterned briefs will mean anything (probably not and it was just a joke)?"
Haven't decided yet who Cortex's new roommate will be. The costume and and briefs were only a joke. PinkRose4452 has returned for more:
"1. Is Ike currently wearing his Ranger outfit from Path of Radiance or his Hero outfit from Radiant Dawn?
2. Since Valentine's Day is coming up, can you do a episode similar to Episode 60? Since that episode, we have gotten new residents, new couples, and that we can see a few more people visit to be with their love one."
1. He is using his Hero outfit from Radiant Dawn.
2. Conviently Valentine's Day falls on a Thursday this year...though there's no guarantees I'll post the new chapter on that day. But I'll do an episode similar to Episode 60 anyways.
GreaterDoomerUKI is also back for more:
"1) Are Galleom and Rathalos going to make an apperance, what about Gallem and Dharkon.
2) There was other Mii Fighter coustumes in smash four. So how come you never introduced those characters at the mansion.
3) Falco's in The mansion, get him outta there"
1) They will, perhaps in a future arc. Rathalos might appear in the next few months, or even weeks.
2) The characters you might be referring to are the Monster Hunter ones, if I'm not mistaken. Aside from them, I don't think I missed anyone...
3) Falco? Why Falco?! I love Falco, he's one of my mains in Ultimate, and one of the characters I enjoy writing about in this story. I'd never kick him out of the mansion.
Moving on:
"Ok fine. I ran out of ideas and I made the first one sound to stupid. But can u let bowser burn toad because he's a little &$!."
I would never do that to poor Toad, he's too innocent and pure! Or so we think...one more thing, from GreaterDoomerUKI:
"Will we see any Kirby Star Allies characters?"
I never did a proper Star Allies chapter, did I? Despite that, characters from the game will appear.
Episode 163: Screwjob
Toon Link: In the criminal justice system, offences outside of Smash battles are especially considered heinous. In Seattle, at the Smash Mansion, the dedicated police officers who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as the LPU, the Link Patrol Unit. These are their stories.
Young Link: DUN DUUUUN!
The Super Bowl was only a few days away, and the two best teams were vying for the Lombardi Trophy - the New England Patriots, and the Los Angeles Rams. It was like Celtics vs Lakers, Red Sox vs Dodgers, Bruins vs Kings. Two big-name cities, Boston and Los Angeles, both competing for the biggest prize on the gridiron.
Because the Rams were rivals of the hometown Seattle Seahawks, Master Hand (and Crazy Hand) established a mandate that prevented everyone living in the mansion and tower from rooting for the Rams in the Super Bowl. Sonic, wanting to keep his distance from Shadow, imagined that breaking the mandate would land him in trouble with Master Hand, and be kept somewhere until furhter notice. At first, Sonic didn't anger Master Hand with his Rams jersey, but it wasn't until he ripped off the jersey that Master Hand got furious - when the giant hand saw a referee shirt underneath.
So, with Sonic getting in trouble with Master Hand, one could argue that the blue blur fulfilled his mission. However, that didn't stop his girlfriend, Amy, from stopping by to visit the hedgehog, who was in a pickle.
"Oh, Sonic, I'm here!" Amy announced happily, as she knocked on the door. Seconds later, Sonic would open the door, happy to see his girlfriend.
"Hi there Amy, you look like your usual cheery self today!" the blue blur exclaimed, with the door open wide. "Though you look a bit more cheerier than usual...got some exciting news to share with me?"
"No, but I can share this with you..." Amy took out her purse, and pulled out a Tamagotchi device - one that Sonic happily gasped at when he saw it. "...it's a Tamagotchi thingamajig I got from the pawn store. You've always said you wanted one..."
"Thanks a bunch Amy, you shouldn't have!" Sonic happily ran out of the room, when all of a sudden a loud beeping sound was heard. Sonic and Amy looked down, and saw a bracelet attached to Sonic's leg, flashing brightly.
"Sonic, did you step foot out of my room?" questioned Master Hand, as he magically appeared on the scene. "What did I tell you about..."
"...yeah, yeah, I know, I know - can't leave your room without your permission. What if I have to use the bathroom, and you're not even around? Expect me to pee out through the window or something?!"
Sonic: So as it turns out, wearing a Rams jersey doesn't trigger Master Hand, but wearing a referee shirt does! Guess Master Hand's still ticked after those referees missed that call in the championship game, and allowed the Rams to be in the position to win. Sports media kept talking about that missed call all week along...man, the storyline for the Super Bowl must be boring. Then again, that old grandpa Brady's back in it, so what's there left to even discuss? Despite Master Hand's demands, I'm still pulling for the Rams.
Samus: Going for the Patriots. *sighs* Master Hand's orders.
Jeff: Crazy Hand hates the Rams with a burning passion, so it's Patriots all the way...
Dillon: *tips hat to the camera*
Bomberman: Dillon said that he's going for the Patriots in the Super Bowl. I think that's what he meant...
Rex: Don't know much about the Super Bowl, but the Patriots have a cool-looking mascot...so I'll go for them.
Gerudo Ganon: I thoroughly enjoy seeing dominance, in all forms. Patriots, without a doubt.
Guile: I love America, and everyone knows that Patriots are the true warriors of America. New England, all the way!
Cortex: So I actually rooted against the Patriots last year...and my prediction turned out to be wrong. Which must mean that rooting against the Pats is the norm now! I can finally cheer on for the Patriots again! Things are looking up for once!
"Was acting acting up again, Master Hand?" Amy asked the giant hand, wanting to know what Sonic's punishment was. "I'm sure he didn't mean it!"
"Sonic was acting up, as always - he had the gall to support crappy football referees everywhere!" stated Master Hand, as Amy raised an eyebrow. She didn't know supporting refs was a bad thing - in fact, she couldn't think of anyone who supported refs in general. "Those same refs that screwed over the poor Saints..."
"Ugh, you're still bitter about that game too? It's the same old, same old, everywhere I go..." Couldn't be worse than dealing with that drivel in New Orleans. "I'll talk to you later, Sonic, when you're not 'punished'. Here's your Tamagotchi device."
"Thanks Amy, talk to you later!" Sonic said after Amy gave him the Tamagotchi device and walked away. Sonic turned on his device, giggling like a little child when it made a sound. Master Hand looked at the hedgehog inquisitively.
"I thought that Tamagotchi crap was for little girls only," the giant hand stated, as Sonic was playing with his new toy to his heart's content. "Are you telling me that you're secretly a girl, Sonic?"
"Says the guy who collects Bratz dolls in his spare time..." murmured Sonic, as he walked away entranced with his Tamagotchi device. Master Hand vanished away...not to preserve his dignity, but rather to speak with a certain crime-fighting duo.
With the big game fastly approaching, the buddy cops Toon Link and Young Link were doing their patrolling around the mansion premises, ensuring that everyone was safe in time for Super Bowl Sunday. The duo were doing their patrolling outside the mansion, venturing into the front yard where Hammer Bro and Ness were playing catch, with a football.
"Ness, go long!" Hammer Bro shouted to the teen, as he threw a pretty spiral. The football sailed across the air, and Ness ran as far as he could to catch it - having to leap up high to secure the ball.
"Got it!" shouted Ness, before landing on the ground with the football in his hands. Toon Link and Young Link both marveled at Hammer Bro's throw, while also trying to decipher what the koopa had said.
"What did Hammer Bro possibly mean when he told Ness to go long?" Young Link asked Toon Link out of curiosity. Any football fan - or any normal person, for that matter - would know what "go long" meant, but sadly Young Link was having a hard time...
"I believe that's some kind of innuendo," Toon Link offered his two cents, before immediately jumping to this conclusion: "For that, Hammer Bro deserves to be arrested, for his foul mouth!"
So the buddy cops ran over to Hammer Bro and ambushed him, sending the koopa to the ground. While Toon Link restrained Hammer Bro, Young Link placed the handcuffs on the koopa, as Ness, having returned to the premises, looked on feeling confused.
"What are you doing, get your filthy hands off of me!" Hammer Bro barked at the buddy cops, as Ness continued to look on in confusion - undecided whether he should run for his safety or not.
"Hammer Bro, you are under arrest for using innuendo around minors such as Ness," Toon Link said to the hammer-wielding koopa, as Ness went from confused to offended in a snap. "You have the right to remain silent, so no innuendos from you, got it?"
"Don't know how many times I gotta tell you guys, but I'm a teenager..." stated Ness; he and Lucas always hated it when people mistook them for being little kids.
Ness: Wanna know how bad I have it with my childlike looks? Everytime Peach signs me up for a local baseball tournament, I always end up on the Little League teams. You know what's even worse? Having to be "accompanied" by an adult every time I'm inside a grocery store. So many missed opportunities, of splurging myself with jawbreakers...that's the true American dream.
"It's okay Ness, you don't have to put up with Hammer Bro's filthy mouth anymore," Young Link assured the PSI whiz, as he and Toon Link escorted the handcuffed Hammer Bro to the mansion. "Your ears shall remain innocent and pure!"
"Toon Link, Young Link, I need to speak with you!" Master Hand said to the buddy cops, appearing in front of the duo before they could enter the mansion. "It's something very important, and top secret."
"We'll meet with you in your room, once we're done taking Hammer Bro to the slammer," Toon Link said to the giant hand, leaving him satisfied. "He's under arrest for using innuendo around minors!"
"I only said, 'Go long'!" Hammer Bro defended himself, only for Toon Link to whack the koopa with his Master Sword. The buddy cops escorted Hammer Bro inside the mansion, as Ness looked for someone else to play catch with.
After tossing Hammer Bro inside his makeshift jail cell, the buddy cops met with Master Hand in the giant hand's room, to discuss private important matters. It didn't matter if Sonic was in the room right now...the hedgehog was too busy playing Tamagotchi Life anyways.
"As you are both hopefully aware, the Super Bowl is coming up on Sunday," Master Hand started off the meeting, as Toon Link and Young Link nodded their heads. "And I'm afraid that the big game...has been tainted!"
"Tainted?!" exclaimed Toon Link, as Young Link gasped in complete shock and horror with his hands over his mouth. "Ooh, I knew it! I knew those aliens had a hand in the outcome! Their involvement is the only explanation why those lousy Patriots are back in the Super Bowl..."
"Actually, the Patriots deserve to be in the Super Bowl. Wanted them to lose in the playoffs, yes, but the effort they've shown was truly remarkable. However, it's the team the Pats are facing that has no business in the big game..."
"Who, the Rams?" inquired Young Link, who had a glut feeling for how the rest of the meeting would turn out. "This has nothing to do with them being the Seahawks' most hated rival, right?"
"No, in fact, it's something far, FAR bigger than that...so you know that the Rams had to win a conference title game to get in the Super Bowl, right? Rams vs the New Orleans Saints?" Toon Link and Young Link both nodded their heads. "Well, there was a missed call in that game that changed the trajectory of the game...and allowed the Rams to beat the Saints and advance!"
"Soooo what exactly are you trying to get at, Master Hand?" Dismayed, Master Hand let out a deep sigh, the buddy cops not knowing the real reason the Rams won.
"Are you boys dense or something? It was clear that the referees played a hand in the Rams' victory! They missed the call on purpose, and let the Rams win and go to the big game, just to make football in L.A. relevant again!"
"You know, something like that sounds extremely plausible when you think about it," Toon Link remarked as he stroked his chin, believing that Master Hand's theory had some merit to it. "What do you expect us to do about it, Master Hand?"
"I want you fellas to look for any fugitives that were involved in the Rams' tainted victory. The fugitives might either be Rams fans, or hate New Orleans in general. Or quite possibly both. Those culprits could've possibly influenced the referees, who knows. Either way, I want you two to find the culprits, and find some evidence, so we can do that Rams-Saints game all over again!"
"You want to restart the Saints vs Rams game, just because of one stupid missed call?" snorted Sonic, having eavesdropped on the conversation. "You're no better than those silly lawmakers in Louisiana..."
"Nobody asked you, Sonic!" Master Hand scolded the hedgehog, before redirecting his attention to the buddy cops. "Please excuse Sonic - he's sadly on the referees side. He might be a culprit!"
"I reckon there's plenty of culprits living under this roof..." assumed Young Link, before turning to face Young Link. "How about we do a little snooping around the mansion, Starsky?"
"Never thought you would ask..." smiled Toon Link, as the buddy cops walked out of Master Hand's room. Master Hand looked on, confident in the buddy cops' abilities, as Sonic chuckled at the giant hand's tenacity.
Cloud: Been a week since Aerith returned to her universe, and it feels...different, I guess? Hard to put it into words. I really miss Aerith. Would say that I miss Sora too, but all our best memories didn't happen until I sought Chrom for dating advice. Everything before that was a straight-up nightmare. I've already come to terms with Aerith's departure, so I think I'll be fine...
When he wasn't hanging out with Aerith, Cloud was best known for playing with his pet Chocobo, Cloud Jr, or spending friendly time with Link. But with Cloud Jr. napping, and Link taking his truck to the nearest car shop, Cloud had no choice but to break out of his comfort zone.
And how did he plan on doing just that? By making some sick beats for Knuckles in the recording studio, of course. Showing off his skills.
"Just so you're aware, I'm only doing this because Sonic can't," Cloud said to Knuckles, who was in the recording booth ready to do his thing. "Still sure I'm the right guy for the job?"
"Of course, you're the perfect candidate!" replied Knuckles, extremely confident in Cloud's beat-making abilities. "See, I'm trying to make this sad song, depressing and stuff, and you're feeling pretty down in the dumps, I bet."
"Down in the dumps, from what?" Cloud desired to know the reason why Knuckles picked him, and once he realized that reason, he sighed. "Look, just because Aerith returned home, doesn't mean that I'm sad."
"Suuuuure...keep believing what you wanna believe, Cloud. I know that deep down inside that hollow interior of yours, you're the saddest man alive! Quit hiding your emotions, and show the world how you really feel!"
"Cloud Strife!" Toon Link shouted the swordsman's name, as he and Young Link showed up in the recording studio. "We've been told that you would be here."
"Guys, can you arrest Cloud another time, we're a little busy here!" Knuckles frowned at the buddy cops, not wanting to waste any time. "Cloud's supposed to make some beats for my new rap song!"
"We're not gonna arrest Cloud...not yet, at least. We just need to ask him a few questions." The buddy cops cornered Cloud, who couldn't care less what tricks the Hylians pulled on him.
"Alright, you two, what did I possibly do?" questioned Cloud, not afraid of the buddy cops in the slightest. "Because I'm sure I did absolutely nothing wrong this entire week. But, you two will always find a way..."
"Were YOU the one responsible for screwing over the Saints from reaching the Super Bowl?" Young Link pointed at Cloud, who was all sorts of confused. Many folks accused by the buddy cops always had the same look of confusion on their face.
"Why would I be the one? I hardly even care about football to begin with, or sports in general. Also, why would I screw over the Saints, of all teams? Not like they're some kind of supervillains."
"Hutch and I know for a fact that you've been depressed about Aerith," stated Toon Link, as Cloud looked away and sighed. "You've been depressed ever since you learned that Aerith would be heading back to her home! So, you conspired to screw the Saints over, and have the entire city of New Orleans depressed, so they'd feel as depressed as YOU!"
"See, even the Links think you're depressed!" Knuckles said to Cloud, knowing he was right about Cloud's depression the whole time. "Can't hide your true feelings forever, Cloud!"
"I'm not depressed, I've been feeling the same ever since Aerith left the mansion," stated Cloud, leading Knuckles and the buddy cops to wildly assume that the swordsman never cared for Aerith to begin with. "Also, I highly doubt everyone in New Orleans remotely likes the Saints like that."
"This guy obviously wasn't alive when Hurricane Katrina hit Louisiana," Young Link whispered to Toon Link, who nodded his head in agreement. Cloud heard Young Link, in disbelief of what he was saying.
"I actually thought this guy was supposedly born in the mid-'80s, but I don't believe it now," Toon Link whispered back, having many doubts about Cloud. "I must say, Cloud's body has progressed remarkably for a twelve-year old..."
"Get out, you two," Cloud said to the buddy cops, as he showed the both of them out of the door. Had just about enough of their shenanigans.
Cloud: I know everyone will be expecting me to be sad over Aerith, but truthfully, I got over it in the next day or two. Everybody's different. Until the majority of everyone in the mansion realizes that, I'll be stigmatized as an "emo boy"...pretty sure Ganondorf was the one who started that.
While Cloud fanned off rumors that he was depressed, nobody was more depressed than Robin, whose favorite football team was the Saints (stated his fanhood in episode 4.) Seeing that his Saints lost, Robin was on the fence about watching the Super Bowl, and supporting the team that beat his squad, or the team that most fans didn't like.
Robin was in the library right now, humming a happy tune while looking for a book to read. Like Sonic avoiding Shadow in the previous episode, Robin was avoiding his children from the future, Morgan and Marc, although his reasons were never specified.
"This seems like a good book to read..." said Robin, as he pulled a book out of the bookshelf - only to shriek and jump back when Toon Link poked his head through the books, knocking said books unto the floor.
"Well, that was a very manly shriek if I ever heard one," remarked Toon Link, trying to squeeze through the bookshelf while allowing Robin some time to catch his breath. Toon Link could only get his upper torso through. "Hutch! I need your hands!"
"All hands on deck!" Young Link arrived at the scene, dashing to the bookshelf. He reached for Toon Link's hands and, by mustering the strength in his body, pulled Toon Link out of the bookshelf. "You okay, Starsky?"
"Yeah I'm fine - thought I was gonna have to lose my arms!" As Toon Link got up off the floor, rubbing his bum, Gil showed up at the end of the bookshelf, shushing the buddy cops.
"Keep it down, you're in a library!" the de facto librarian reminded the buddy cops, before walking away. Toon Link and Young Link would both ignore Gil's reminder, as they turned towards the man they needed to speak with, Robin.
"You boys want to arrest me, don't you?" Robin asked, with a very nervous smile. "It's not because I've been running away from my children, is it?! I don't mean to to it, I have my reasons!"
"It has nothing to do with Morgan and Marc, Robin," replied Toon Link, as Robin let out a big sigh of relief. "Rather, this has more to with your team, the Saints...we know for a fact that the Saints were screwed!"
"They were screwed? Ha, I knew there was something fishy about that game, even from the very beginning. So boys, who do you think is responsible? Have you found the man responsible?"
"We both have quite a hunch for who might be responsible for fixing the game, and eliminating the Saints. Do you mind if we speak with your best friend, Chrom?"
Chrom was in the living room, checking out the Super Bowl banner for the party with Researcher Zelda. It was adorned with red, blue, and gold colors.
"The banner looks so pretty..." marveled Researcher Zelda, with her hands clasped together as she admired the banner. "Did you work on it by any chance, Chrom?"
"No I did not - being artistic isn't quite my thing," replied Chrom, smiling gingerly as he scratched the back of his head. "Hisui and Kohaku Hearts, they were the ones who worked on the banner. They do it practically every year."
"You say that like it's a bad thing..." grumbled Hisui, as he and Kohaku appeared behind Chrom and Researcher Zelda. "...Mr. Non Artistic Guy. You should stick to romancing the ladies, dude."
"At least I have a lady, in Raven. Romancing ladies is more of your job, Hisui. Also, 'Mr. Non Artistic Guy'? Was that an insult? Is that seriously the best you can come up with, Master Romancer?"
"Master Romancer has got quite the ring to it..." remarked Kohaku, as Hisui's face grew red with fury. He looked at his little sister, in disbelief that she was seemingly on the same page as Chrom.
Hisui: "Master Romancer"? You honestly think that has a ring to it? Is it because it can rhyme? Whose side are you even on, Kohaku?!
Kohaku: Oh, Hisui, you know I was just kidding. Wait, I probably shouldn't have said that. You might be smart enough to know that I was only joking around with you.
Hisui: You think I'm stupid now, huh? First it was Pit, and now you...who's next?
Kohaku: Pit of all people called you stupid? Wow Hisui, that's quite the record you got there!
Hisui: Not...another...peep.
"Google Chrom, we need to have a word with you!" Toon Link shouted at the prince, as the buddy cops showed up in the living room. Robin was following closely behind the buddy cops, which concerned Chrom a little.
"When will you ever stop calling me that name?" frowned Chrom, as Toon Link and Young LInk took out their bows and arrows and pointed them at Chrom. "What is it that you want, anyway?"
"Fess up, Chrom, we know you were the one who rigged the Rams-Saints game!" If Chrom wanted to laugh hysterically he would, but he wanted to hear what Toon Link had to say about him. "It was because you couldn't stand Robin's fandom - you couldn't bear to see his rowdiness if the Saints played in the Super Bowl!"
"I never said that, I've always tolerated Robin and his fanhood for the Saints. And besides, Robin is hardly ever rowdy. Everytime the Saints scores a touchdown, Robin just gets up from his seats and clap his hands, like he's at an opera."
"While Robin being a mellow fan may be true, it doesn't excuse you from the fact that you fixed the game, so the Rams could win and advance. Out of all the likeliest of candidates, you seem to be the most guilty!"
"Why would I have anything to do with rigging football games? To this day I still struggle with fantasy football - took me until Thanksgiving last year to find out that I could bench injured players on my squad. Yet you think I'm guilty?"
"Do you think Chrom fixed the Rams-Saints game in the Rams' favor, Hutch?" Toon Link asked Young Link, who was taking a real good look at Chrom. Chrom instantly knew the odds were perfectly against his favor.
"Chrom's hair is blue, the Rams' primary color is blue...it all checks out," Young Link offered his two cents, as Chrom stepped away from the premises pulling on his hair. The buddy cops were totally reaching.
"Come to think of it, Lucina has blue hair, AND has blue clothing," stated Toon Link, acting like he had made an astonishing scientific discovery. "She might be just as responsible as Chrom is. We might have TWO culprits on board!"
"C'mon you two, you don't have to accuse Lucina of any wrongdoing..." Robin kindly said to the buddy cops, hoping to sway their minds. "She is my girlfriend, after all - wouldn't want to make her mad."
"So you're perfectly fine with Toon Link and Young Link sparing Lucina, but not me," Chrom frowned at Robin, feeling hurt by his best friend. The prince was getting accused, and Robin just stood there, nonchalant. "Whose side are you on, Robin? You're supposed to be my friend!"
"To be honest, Chrom, I fear Lucina more than I fear you," Robin said to his best friend, doing his best not to hurt Chrom's feelings. Provided the prince's feelings weren't hurt already.
"You know, if we're randomly accusing people of fixing football games..." said Hisui, as he was stroking his chin in thought. "...then why don't we find a vampire who might've fixed the game? Maybe they did it to spite Simon and Richter, who I bet love the Saints! Because of their religious nature and all."
"That's...not a bad idea," replied Toon Link, as he and Young Link walked away from the living room. "Consider yourself lucky, Google Chrom...for now, at least. But we'll be interrogating you later!" Toon Link informed the prince, before he and Young Link left.
"Really, Hisui, what would vampires have to do with sporting events?" Researcher Zelda asked the young man, who thought he didn't do anything wrong.
"Nothing - I was just trying to get the buddy cops off of Chrom," replied Hisui, expecting Chrom to thank him later for saving his behind. He would implore the prince to thank him, if he had to.
Chrom: The audacity of the buddy cops to accuse me of rigging a professional football game...and Robin, who likely told them that false information, just stood there and watched the whole thing. It has become clear as day that Randy Newman was a liar, this whole time...
Thinking that the missed call in the Rams-Saints game was the work of vampires, the buddy cops went to the tower to have a word with Alucard. Alucard, the half-vampire, was in the lounge of the tower, reading a book.
"I literally had no impact on the game whatsoever, didn't even know both teams had played," explained Alucard, with the buddy cops refusing to believe a single word that came out of the half-vampire's mouth.
"Nice try, Alucard, but we have you listed as one of the prime culprits for fixing the Rams-Saints game!" Young Link accusingly pointed in Alucard's face, as Alucard felt too apathetic to move Young Link's hand. "List the vampires you've worked with!"
"Did you say that the game was fixed, all because of one missed call?" In context, Alucard thought it was the one of the dumbest things he's ever heard. "How would a bunch of vampires influence a mere error committed by a referee?"
"It wasn't an error, it was a fix!" stated Toon Link, spitting some knowledge up in Alucard's face. Still feeling apathetic, Alucard let Toon Link have his way. "And you and your vampire friends were responsible for allowing said fix to occur!"
"Then tell me, Toon Link, how on earth did my 'vampire friends' and I allow this fix to occur? Did we assume the personas of the officials? Did we, by any chance, change the direction and velocity of which the football was thrown?"
"Vampires can turn invisible, right? What you did was turn invisible, and run past the official, and whispered into his ear telling him not to pull out the penalty flag. And your vampire friends did the same for the other officials."
"Vampires don't turn invisible, you ignorant boy...but they can make themselves invisible, with the Cape of Invisibility. And frankly, only one such cape exists. So needless to say, your theory is nigh implausible..."
"Alucard, we have brought you some more water, we left it in the fridge!" Simon informed the half-vampire as he and Richter entered the lounge, seeing Alucard with the buddy cops. "No, Alucard, Toon Link and Young Link got you too?!"
"No they did not...apparently these two blokes are outright accusing me of fixing the Rams-Saints game. They both seem to think that I screwed over the Saints, just to spite religious people like you..."
"But why would they accuse you of screwing over the Saints for, you like the Ravens!" Richter pointed out, only for Alucard to sigh and pinch the crown of his nose. Richter giggled innocently, realizing that he said something he shouldn't. "Shoot, I was supposed to keep that between us..."
Alucard: Yes, I like the Baltimore Ravens, and it's mainly because their namesake is based off of Edgar Allen Poe's works. And I am a advert fan of Edgar Allen Poe. Don't judge me.
"Well the Saints beat the Ravens last year, so that should serve as enough motivation for Alucard to screw the Saints over," assumed Toon Link, leading Alucard and the Belmonts to wonder how the Hylian thought and rationalized. "He craved for that sweet taste of revenge!"
"Don't get it twisted, Toon Link, the only taste of revenge I crave for is against my own father, Count Dracula," stated Alucard, wishing the buddy cops would leave him alone. "Nothing more, and nothing else."
"He's making up lies...add his name to the list," Toon Link whispered to Young Link, who wrote down Alucard's name on a list that had Cloud and Chrom's names. "It's been nice speaking with you, Alucard, but we'll ask you more questions later, once we're near the end of our investigation."
"Yes, and I'll just tune out each and every question you ask me." Alucard went back to reading his book, flipping to the next page. "Simon, Richter, will you two please show those Hylian boys out the door?"
"Come along now, you two, Alucard needs his reading time!" Simon said to the buddy cops, as he and Richter showed Toon Link and Young Link out the door. Young Link gave Alucard the "I'm watching you..." hand gesture as he left the lounge.
Having recorded some banging beats for Knuckles, Cloud went down to the fitness center so he could work out with Male Wii Fit Trainer. That swordsman was really stepping out of his comfort zone today. When Cloud arrived at the fitness center, he was startled to see Fox, pacing back and forth for no reason.
"Why did she do it, why did she do it, why did she do it, why did she do it..." Fox muttered to himself, seemingly having another panic attack. Male Wii Fit stepped out of Leia's office, disgusted by what he was seeing.
"Leia can't leave you two minutes out of her office, can she?" the fitness trainer said as he walked over to Fox, taking him back to Leia's office. Cloud watched this unfold, hoping Fox wasn't still dealing with panic attacks and such.
"To think that guy gave me crap for not having good vibes with Aerith," the swordsman had this to say about Fox, as Male Wii Fit stepped out of Leia's office once more after dealing with Fox. The fitness trainer was delighted to see Cloud.
"Cloud, you actually came, I'm surprised!" Male Wii Fit exclaimed, as he made his way over to the swordsman. "I knew you weren't joking when you said that you wanted a workout today."
"Sorry I came so late, I was doing a little favor for Knuckles," apologized Cloud, not mentioning what this favor was. Didn't want Male Wii Fit to talk up a storm about how "changed" he was. "Did I come in at a bad time?"
"No Leia, I need to speak with Krystal, pronto!" Fox shouted from inside Leia's office, only to break down into sobs seconds later. "Oh who am I kidding? Nothing I say will even matter anyways!"
"Sadly you did come at a bad time," replied Male Wii Fit, witnessing Fox crying in Leia's office from where he was standing. "As you can see, Leia's having a difficult time dealing with Fox and his panic attacks."
"And you're pretty much hanging around so Leia doesn't lose her sanity," inferred Cloud, as Male Wii Fit nodded his head. So much for working out today. "Got it. Guess we'll have to do our workouts tomorrow, huh?"
"Of course, provided I'm not busy. But that would depend on if Leia needs me or not. But I'll be quick to let you know!"
Makoto: I have no clue why my discussion with Fox didn't work, I was making some valid points. Many of which he actually agreed with, near the very end. Thought those points would've stuck in his head. Sure you can say Ema didn't have to reveal to Fox that she showed Krystal the letter, but Krystal deserved to see that letter regardless.
Falco: Yeah, but that doesn't excuse Ema for hurting my best friend's mojo! Fox's been having panic attacks almost every other day because of her!
Makoto: *frowns* This coming from a bird who hardly contributed to the conversation?
Falco: Like I told you before, Makoto, being a hype man is hard. Maybe we were in the wrong environment.
Makoto: We were trying to give Fox good advice, bird brain...
With Male Wii Fit having his hands tied with Leia and Fox, Cloud left the fitness center looking for something to do. Soon the swordsman ran into Chrom, who was still feeling salty about Robin's candor from earlier.
"Hey Cloud, just got through exercising today?" Chrom asked the swordsman, having seen him exit the fitness center. "Gotta say, you're still looking pretty fresh..."
"That's because I didn't work out today, at all," replied Cloud, unsure of what to do next on today's agenda. He could entertain speaking with Chrom, for a few. "Male Wii Fit is kinda helping out Leia with Fox and his panic attacks."
"Oh yes, I saw Fox having a panic attack after breakfast today...Leaf just mentioned Krystal's name, and that just threw Fox into a frenzy. Someone had to escort the poor guy to the fitness center. I feel bad for him..."
"Well it was kinda his fault; he made his relationship with Krystal a whole lot more personal than he should've. Got no clue what happened at that cocktail party, but evidently what happened there caused all the hoopla going on today."
"Yeah...before I let you go, I gotta ask you a question. Did the buddy cops accuse you of rigging the Rams-Saints game, by any chance?"
"Funny you should say that, since they actually did. They accused me of doing it because I was feeling depressed about Aerith, and I wanted to make New Orleans to feel more depressed than I do."
"Really, they said that? They honestly think you're depressed? Just because Aerith returned to her home?! My goodness, people will reach for anything these days..."
"You think that bad's enough, even Knuckles thinks I'm going through a rough patch in my life. Honestly I feel fine - sure I miss Aerith, but she had to go eventually. This universe isn't her home."
"Exactly. If you want, I can inform the others how well you're feeling. And I'll shoot down any accusations of you ever feeling depressed." That Chrom, always having Cloud's back ever since 160. What an awesome dude.
"Thanks Chrom, I strongly appreciate it. Good to know that there's someone sticking out for me. I could hardly trust Sora to do that much for me..."
"It's the least I could do. Now about the buddy cops...we can't let those two Links go around accusing everyone of fixing a playoff game that's already done with. We should bring their little 'investigation' to a close."
"They're obviously not going to believe us, if we told them. So, who'll be the one to reason with them?" Chrom thought for a second, before the perfect candidate (or candidates, possibly) spurred inside his head.
"I think I know just the guys. Follow me to the transpiration room." Cloud followed Chrom to the room, hoping that the prince had a fail-proof idea.
Chrom and Cloud arrived at the teleportation room, where Mega Man and .EXE were present. The two robots were discussing the big game on Sunday.
"It sucks that we're not allowed to root for the Rams," Mega Man said to .EXE, unaware that the mandate Master Hand sent out was a "suggestion", rather than a forceful command. "I'd love to go against the grain, you know?"
"Yeah, especially how the Eagles manhandled the Pats last year," replied .EXE, remembering the Eagles' Super Bowl victory like it was yesterday. Left a satisfying taste in the robot's mouth, and the mouths of many others around the world. "I think I became an Eagles fan that day."
"Don't tell Link that, he'll never leave you alone..." After turning his head, Mega Man finally saw Chrom and Cloud, standing by waiting to be noticed. "Oh, hey Chrom and Cloud! What's up?"
"Nothing much, just a little bothered by the buddy cops," replied Chrom, as Mega Man and .EXE had some sympathy for the prince and Cloud. "They accused Cloud and I of rigging the Rams-Saints game last week."
"For what reason? You guys don't look like the kind of dudes to do that sort of stuff. Let me guess, Toon Link and Young Link were both reaching for why you are both guilty, didn't they?"
"They thought I did it because I wanted to make New Orleans feel depressed, and they thought Chrom did it just to unnerve Robin," replied Cloud, as Mega Man and .EXE found those reasons to be the dumbest reasons ever for fixing a game. "We just need someone to shut those two up."
"Say no more Cloud, we got you covered," .EXE assured the swordsman, as he walked over to the teleportation device. "So, who do you want us to send to the mansion? Just say the name, and we'll make it happen!"
Master Hand: My precious baby, the love of my life, my Lamborghini, really needs an oil change. Thing is, I have nobody to take it to the nearest car shop. Isabelle and Ayaha are both busy, so I can't bother them. And I would ask Marth, but you all remember the last time I let him take my baby out on a ride. Still haven't forgiven him. Tails could drive my vehicle, but he'll get judging looks of concern by the car shop people. The best candidate I could think of right now would be... *pauses* ...aw crap.
Tom Nook was walking through the mansion, sipping from his cup of tea, when he arrived at the living room and saw the banner hanging up on the wall. The tanoki marveled at the banner, through his half-closed eyelids.
"Eh, not the best banner I've ever seen, but it's serviceable," Tom Nook shrugged, as a giant hand nervously appeared behind him. Tom Nook turned around, startled to see Master Hand. "Oh, it's you..."
"T-Tom Nook...can you do me a huge favor?" Master Hand asked the tanoki, who was wondering why the giant hand was acting so nervous. "It's about my Lamborghini...the fancy car sitting outside in the driveway..."
"You mean the car that you seldom drive? The car you bought just to show off your power and worth? I would ask the last time you paid off your car, but considering how you handled the second mortgage..."
"Hear me out, okay? I need you to take my Lamborghini to the nearest car shop, and get it an oil change. You can do that much for me, right? Take my Lamborghini to car shop, get oil change, take Lamborghini back to mansion."
"That should be pretty easy to do. Hand me the car keys, and I'll be off." So Master Hand took out the car keys to his Lamborghini, and reluctantly gave them to Tom Nook. He was putting a lot of trust in the tanoki.
"Your sweet ride will be spotless by the time I get back," Tom Nook assured Master Hand, as he left the living room. After Tom left, Master Hand was whimpering, fearing for his car's well-being. So maybe he didn't really trust Tom Nook...
Mega Man and .EXE got the teleportation device up and working, after keying in the right coordinates. Once the device powered up, a flash of light was emitted, and two dudes were standing on the teleportation pad - a white dude with blonde hair, and a black dude with dreadlocks and a Rams cap on his head.
"Pretty sure we only asked for one person..." murmured Chrom, as the dudes on the teleportation were looking around, observing their surroundings. As expected, they were both confused.
"Well then...didn't expect our secret handshake to take us to a faraway location," said the white dude, chuckling a little as he smiled. "We might still be in Atlanta somewhere...we might."
"They must've been touching each other during their handshake, that's how we got two instead of one..." Mega Man mumbled to himself, taking a mental note inside his head.
"Hold on, this ain't Atlanta, where are we..." the dude with dreadlocks spoke, before seeing Mega Man and company gathered around and feeling even more confused. "Where we at?"
"You're in Seattle - home of the Smash Mansion!" replied Mega Man; the black dude didn't look as amused, but his friend looked pretty excited. "Many miles away from Georgia, I know, but all can be explained later..."
"Not gonna lie, this is actually pretty cool," the white dude said to his black friend, who shook his head in disagreement. Really wanted to head back to Atlanta.
"Since I personally don't know any of y'all, I ain't gonna tell y'all my real name," the black dude said to Mega Man and company, showing that he meant business. "Y'all can just call me Gerome."
"And you can, uh...call me J.T.," the white dude said, as Gerome looked at him like he picked the worst name in existence. J.T. could only shrug.
Gerome: Wanna know why I don't wanna be here? One, this place smells like butt; two, the guys in the room were looking at us like they've never seen two grown men before. And three...did I mention that this place smells?
J.T.: C'mon man, I'm sure Mega Man and his friends were just starstruck. Do you not expect people to act like fangirls at the very sight of you?
Gerome: Did you seriously call that robot guy back there Mega Man? *sighs, then shakes his head* What a nerd...
J.T.: Well what else was I supposed to call him?
"Nice to meet you Gerome and J.T., I'm Chrom," Chrom introduced himself to the men, walking up to them and shaking their hands. Cloud forced himself follow Chrom, disgusted by the prince's cheeseball ways.
"And I'm Cloud Strife, though you probably know who I am," Cloud introduced himself to Gerome and J.T.; the swordsman was never known for being fond of introductions, of any kind. "Or maybe you don't..."
"Alright, so why are we here for?" asked Gerome, wanting to go back to Atlanta at the earliest possible convenience. Had no time to be wasting away at the Smash Mansion, doing whatever. "We got important business to do."
"There's these two kids running around, accusing everyone of being suspects in fixing that Rams-Saints game." Gerome and J.T. knew what Cloud was talking about, as they were suddenly engaged. "Something about a missed call. You know about this, right?"
"Oh yeah, we definitely know a lot about that one," replied J.T., trying his best to hide a smile but only failing miserably. Gerome on the other hand was gleefully cheesing it up. "That missed call, yeah."
"Good, now we need you two to talk some sense into the kids, and tell them that the missed call happened because of human error or something like that. You can make up whatever excuse you like, as long as it's credible."
"You two stay here with Cloud, while I go look for the youngsters you need to speak with," Chrom said to J.T. and Gerome, as he left the teleportation room. Soon after Chrom left, J.T. yawned, while Gerome stretched his arms.
"I ain't waiting all day for Chrome or whatever to come back," Gerome said to J.T., as he made his way towards the exit. "I'ma go around and do a little sight-seeing. See how big this place really is."
"You are gonna come back and reason with those two kids, right?" J.T. asked Gerome, right before he could exit the room entirely. Gerome thought long and hard about his answer, though not that much.
"Eh, I'll think about it," was his final answer, as he quickly left the premises.
Travis: Super Bowl's coming, and Mario brought me some awesome grub for my own personal Super Bowl party! I would party over at Mario's place, but I gotta stay on the low so that Badman will never find me. (Once again, I didn't pick his name.) I might invite that angel kid Pit over to my camper, but if he lays his hands on my guacamole dip, it's all over for him...
Travis was busy playing video games with Pit and Kirby in his camper, when the buddy cops infiltrated the camper wanting to ask Travis some questions. Pit had talked up a storm about Travis in the recent weeks, and with Travis' last name being Touchdown...yeah, you probably know where this was headed.
"Be honest with us, Travis...do you have a magical ability to affect football games, on all levels?" Toon Link asked the otaku, who felt like laughing his butt off. "Can you easily affect the outcome of every football game ever played?"
"Why do you even ask me such stupid questions?" questioned Travis, a giant smirk forming on his face. "It's not because of my name, is it?" All of a sudden, Travis was starting to see why staying away from the mansion was a good idea.
"Of course it has to do with your name - with it, you must be blessed with powers beyond your control," replied Young Link; Travis looked at the Hylian funny, before bursting into a laughing fit.
"Man, you two are INSANE! You honestly think I have supernatural powers over EVERY football game in existence? I don't even follow football, or sports in general - only time I pay attention to it is when I'm scoping for hot cheerleader babes!"
"I dunno, a lot of what Toon Link and Young Link said had some credence to it," said Pit, as Travis looked at the angel with disgust. Even had to pause the game, to let Pit know how he felt.
"Don't follow them up, kid..." Travis advised Pit, before unpausing the game. Soon after Travis and Pit resumed playing their game, Mario barged inside the camper, without knocking. Though to be fair, Travis left the door open.
"Toon Link? Young Link?" Mario called out the buddy cops' names, and soon the two Links responded. "Hey boys. Just got a call-a from Chrom, and he told-a me to..."
"Chrom told you to do something?" asked Toon Link, sounding extremely surprised in his response. "Had no idea he trusted you that much, Mr. Amnesiac."
"Mr. Amnesiac? You're not calling me that all because-a I forgot the Seattle Stalker's identity, are-a you?" Mario frowned with his hands on hips, as Toon Link and Young Link quietly giggled to themselves. "Anyways, Chrom wanted me to tell-a you to return to the mansion."
"Tell Chrom he has to wait, we're interrogating a culprit here. This guy Travis Touchdown might've used his supernatural powers to affect the outcome of the Rams-Saints game. It's all in the name." Travis let out a sigh, as he continued playing his game.
"About that Rams-a Saints game...Chrom found two folks-a over at the mansion who have seen-a the game first hand." Toon Link and Young Link's interest was suddenly piqued. "And they know what went-a down with the missed call!"
"D-Does that mean they know who fixed the game?!" Young Link eagerly asked, only for Mario to nod his head with a smile. "Awesome! Hurry, Starsky, we got an investigation to wrap up!"
So the buddy cops left the camper, leaving Travis alone. Mario would walk over to Travis, who was very appreciative that the plumber came.
"Thanks for saving my behind from those weirdos," Travis thanked Mario, who gave the otaku a smile and a thumbs up.
Having taken care of some earlier business, Tom Nook went outside to the Lamborghini, ready to take it to the nearest car shop. He had the keys in his hand, as he was nearing the vehicle in the driveway.
Master Hand: Tom Nook getting my car an oil change doesn't mean that I trust him...yet. It'll be a test to prove that he's a caring individual, and not a sociopath bent on destruction and world domination. Tom Nook will have a lot to prove to me, provided he doesn't screw things up.
"Master Hand never gave me a stipend to pay for the oil change, but I got money already so it's no problem," remarked Tom Nook, reaching the Lamborghini while twirling the car keys in his hand. Gerome would step out of the mansion, still sight-seeing, as he walked down the porch and saw the Lamborghini.
"Woah..." the man uttered, before excitedly running over to the Lamborghini to get a better view of it. He startled Tom Nook, as the tanoki opened the driver's door. "Dang man, that's a pretty sweet ride you got there!"
"Oh, this isn't mine...this belongs to Master Hand," stated Tom Nook; he saw the Rams cap Gerome was wearing, and assumed that Gerome would get beat up by a few Seattlites later. "I'm just giving this car an oil change."
"Mind if I take a ride in that thing?" Gerome pushed Tom Nook to the side, sitting on the driver's seat as he strapped on his seat belt. He would do to the same for Tom Nook, who was left shook.
"Please sir, you have no idea what you're doing..." That didn't matter to Gerome, who took the car keys from Tom Nook without even asking and stuck them into ignition, before turning the car on. "...this car isn't yours!"
"Chill out fam, I got a driver's license...I got this." Sticking the stick shift into reverse, Gerome backed out of the driveway, before sticking it into drive and driving down the street. Will Tom Nook ever get to the car shop? Who knows...
The buddy cops were back in their office, with J.T. seated at a table with Haru of the Shadow Thieves. Nobody knew where Gerome went, but at least J.T. stuck around to tell the buddy cops what they needed to hear.
Several pictures of the residents were hanging up on the buddy cops' board - Chrom as "Pretty Boy", Cloud as "Anime Eeyore", Alucard as "Rejected Motley Crue Member", and Travis Touchdown as "The Arceus of Football". J.T. found these names rather amusing, cracking a smile.
"I see you boys take this whole buddy cop thing very seriously," the man remarked, as Toon Young and Young Link were eating some doughnuts. Getting some last-minute doughnuts before their interrogation.
"Believe me buddy, it's always serious business when it comes to regulating crime," stated Young Link, scaring down his doughnut and enjoying every bite of it. "Mm...so good..."
"Why am I the one taking down notes?" Haru asked the buddy cops, seated at the table with paper and pen. "Shouldn't Makoto be doing this? Seems more like her specialty..."
"We tried asking Makoto, but she felt too stupid enough to turn down our offer," replied Toon Link, who know had a serious personal vendetta with Makoto. "Futaba's too shy to do our task, and Ann...um, Ann..."
"...has very poor handwriting!" Young Link would finish for his partner-in-crime, as Toon Link nodded in agreement. Haru sighed, looking down at her piece of paper.
"Aw, phooey..." the heiress moped, as J.T. found himself smiling. Not at Haru, but at the names the buddy cops picked out for the culprits on the board.
Mega Man: .EXE and I did some testing with the teleportation device - turns out that if two individuals are in contact with one another when one is being teleported, the other person will be teleported along with them! So that's how we got J.T. and Gerome, instead of just Gerome...Why Gerome? You should ask Chrom about that.
Once the buddy cops finished their doughnuts, it was interrogation time - the duo surrounded J.T., hoping their presence made the man uncomfortable.
"So, J.T., you were there when the Rams-Saints game was played, is that correct?" Toon Link asked first, with his arms folded. The Hylian was looking real mean, with his frightening frown.
"Yes, yes I was - I was on the sidelines during the game, in the Superdome," replied J.T., as Haru wrote down this vital piece of information on her paper. Felt vital to her, at least. "I saw that missed call go down, from where I was standing."
"Good, good! But before you go into detail with the missed call, I want you to take us...to the very beginning. Take us to the very start, and lead us along the way to the Rams-Saints game and how the missed call went down."
"Alright then, so...first game of the year, it was in Oakland. Played at a baseball stadium, on Monday night. We won that game, firing on all cylinders. Then came next week's game, in Los Angeles. We played Arizona. And we shut 'em down. Then came the third game, and we played another team in the city..."
"This might take a while..." Young Link said to Toon Link, while J.T. kept on talking. Haru was writing all the vital info down - what she thought was vital, anyways.
Link and Zelda were at a local park, spending some time together while sitting on a bench. Little did they know that Kapp'n was spying on them from afar, looking from the bushes.
"Is it just me, or is Kapp'n being a little more clingy than usual?" Zelda asked Link, as Kapp'n lowered his head into the bushes upon hearing his name. "We saw him at our date last week, and we saw him again at the thrift store..."
"Him at the thrift store meant nothing, I've seen him shop there all the time," replied Link, playing off Zelda's growing concerns. "I bet he was looking for a new coat."
"Still, I've been seeing Kapp'n a lot whenever we go out somewhere. It's almost like he's...trying to stalk us." Zelda looked far into the distance, and saw a Lamborghini speeding past by. "Isn't that Master Hand's Lamborghini?"
"Yeah, and Tom Nook is just sitting in the passenger seat letting that stranger drive it around all willy-nilly! He really must want to drive Master Hand over the edge..."
Why don't we check in on how Tom Nook and Gerome are handling themselves?
"Give me the wheel, you're gonna crash the car!" Tom Nook snapped on Gerome, reaching for the steering wheel. Unfortunately, his arms were too short.
"It's okay dude, we're going the speed limit!" assured Gerome, who was likely having the time of his life. "I think we're going the speed limit..."
"I'm not going to go out like this...time to take control!" Tom Nook unbuckled his seat belt, as he leaped on top of Gerome and slapped his hands away. The tanoki then grabbed the wheel, and made a U-turn.
"Bro where are you going, we're going the wrong way!" frowned Gerome, after Tom Nook successfully made the U-turn. From afar, Link and Zelda looked on, watching the Lamborghini drive away.
"No, we're going the right way...we're heading back!" At this point, Tom Nook couldn't care less about the oil change - he wanted the Lamborghini back at the mansion, safe and sound.
"...then after we beat Green Bay, we went to New Orleans, to keep our winning streak going," J.T. continued his story, obvious to the others - the buddy cops and Haru were bored out of their minds. "It was a high-scoring affair, but we lost the game. Had a late rally, but we couldn't pull off the comeback."
"How many minutes do we have left?" Young Link asked Toon Link, who looked at his watch...only to realize that he didn't have a watch to begin with.
"We should've given this guy a time limit," replied Toon Link, as Haru, the one who was supposed to take notes, slowly fell asleep on the table.
With Hammer Bro arrested, Ness had no choice but to play catch with someone else. The teen played catch with Crash, with Coco and Aku watching from the porch.
"Go long, Crash!" Ness called out to the bandicoot, hurling the football as far as he could. Crash leaped up and caught the pigskin...with his mouth, before crashing unto the ground.
"Pretty sure that doesn't count as a catch, right?" Cock asked Aku, as Crash sprung up off the ground and did his signature victory dance. Aku remained silent.
Aku: How was I supposed to know whether Crash's catch was legal or not? It's hard to tell if anything's a catch these days!
"Nice effort Crash, you really went all out!" Ness commended the bandicoot, who ran over to the teen and dropped the football in his hands. "Ew, I can feel your saliva...gross."
Ness was about to throw the ball once more, when the teen saw the Lamborghini speeding to the mansion. Tom Nook was driving the vehicle, sitting on top of Gerome as he tried to park the Lamborghini.
"Get outta the way!" the tanoki alerted Ness and Crash, who ran out of harm's way as Tom Nook sped over the front yard to the driveway...only to crash into the wall. And you know what the bad part was? Because of the crash...
...Master Hand's Lamborghini was wrecked. Tom Nook and Gerome were both shook, as they both hopped out of the Lamborghini in a hurry.
"We are so dead..." fretted Tom Nook, seconds before the Lamborghini caught on fire. Aku looked on from the porch, while Coco headed inside the mansion to deliver some very bad news.
"...and finally came the postseason, and we were riding hgih after our win over San Francisco," J.T. continued his story, with the buddy cops still feeling bored. Haru was already fast asleep. "We were playing so good, we took the first week off. But in the second week, we played Dallas, in primetime, and we won that game. Then came the game in New Orleans...with the missed call."
"ABOUT TIME!" Toon Link yelled loudly, enough to wake up Haru from her slumber. "Tell us everything about the missed call and more, and everyone responsible for letting it happen!"
"So there I was, standing on the sideline, when the play happened. The ball was thrown to the receiver, but the defender got in his way and knocked the ball down, preventing the receiver from making the catch."
"Yes, we saw the play ourselves - it was textbook pass interference. But who was the one who influenced the referee to keep his yellow flag in his pocket. Who was the cruel monster that told the officiating crew to not benefit the Saints, and help the Rams win? Who, who?!"
"OH NO, TOM NOOK, YOU'RE IN DEEP TROUBLE NOW MISTER!" Master Hand's voice boomed from outside, as the giant hand was now putting the tanoki on blast. 'YOU'RE DEAD MEAT!"
"Yikes, what's going on outside?" wondered J.T. as he looked out the window, seeing smoke rising up. "Oh snap, someone's car is on fire!" J.T., Haru, and the buddy cops hurried out of the office, despite leaving one person behind...
"Hold up, there's a fire outside?" asked Hammer Bro, who was entrapped inside his makeshift jail cell. Doing time for using his "innuendo" near Ness. "I wanna see for myself! Take me with you! Guys? Guys!"
Master Hand was outside, seething as his Lamborghini was set ablaze. Red and Leaf were at the scene, using their Squirtles to put the fire out, as several folks were outside to check out Master Hand's dream car burning to ashes.
"Oh man...oh man, oh man, oh man..." said Falco, as J.T. and company arrived at the scene. J.T. saw Gerome, feeling guilty, and knew he had a hand in the Lamborghini's fate.
"Look, Master Hand, it's not what you think..." said a meek Tom Nook, wary of what Master Hand might do to him. "...you see, this man, he came out of nowhere and tried to..."
"I'm sorry Master Hand, this was on me," Gerome apologized to the giant hand, also fearful of what Master Hand might do. "I saw your car in the driveway..."
"No buddy, it's okay, you don't have to be Tom Nook's fall guy," Master Hand kindly told Gerome...before shifting his attention to Tom Nook. "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, DRIVING MY CAR LIKE A MADMAN?! HAVE YOU NO SENSE?!"
"Leave him alone, I'm sure it was just an accident," Leaf told Master Hand, ignorant of how much the Lamborghini meant to Master Hand. And now, the luxurious car was likely gone forever.
"This wasn't an accident, Leaf...not by any means. Tom Nook purposefully crashed my car, because he felt like it. Never should've trusted that evil sociopath to do me any favors! Asked him for an oil change, and what does he do?"
"To be fair, I was going to get your oil changed..." Tom Nook defended himself, before pointing at Gerome standing next to him. "...but this man took the car keys and drove off before I could do anything!"
"You're so darn sociopathic, that you can't even admit fault for your mistake! You have to put the blame on someone else! Why, it's almost like you fixed that Rams-Saints game or something!"
"Don't be ridiculous, Master Hand, I would never stoop so low to that level. I'm not a match fixer." The buddy cops seemed to think otherwise, as they looked at Tom Nook inquisitively.
"Come to think of it...I think TOM NOOK was the one who rigged the Rams-Saints game!" accused Toon Link, as Master Hand gasped in horror. Hardly anyone else cared to give a crap. "It's all starting to come together!"
"Tom Nook rigged the game specifially so the Rams won, because he knew they'd be a far less challenge to the Patriots," added Young Link - should be noted that the Rams reached the Super Bowl before the Patriots even did. "Tom Nook is desiring to bet on the Patriots, in the Super Bowl!"
"That's why he destroyed your car - so he could easily sell it for money, and use said money to bet on the Patriots! Betcha he helped the Patriots get to the Super Bowl too, just so he could bet on 'em!"
"Oh, is that so?" said Master Hand as he hovered close to Tom Nook, making the tanoki shiver in his shadow. Gerome moved out of the way, since apparently Master Hand saw no blame in him.
Chrom: Wow, didn't expect the buddy cops to take the Tom Nook route, but it brought their silly investigation to an end. So it's a win all around.
"Wh-What are you gonna do to me, M-Master Hand?" stammered Tom Nook, shivering with fear. Master Hand drew closer to the tanoki, laughing a little.
"Like you even have to ask..." replied Master Hand, before he yelled the following out loud: "PETEY PIRANHA, GET YOUR BUTT OUT HERE!" Right on cue, Petey ran out of the mansion, ready to satisfy his appetite.
"Oh no, not again..." Tom Nook grew in fear as Petey strutted his stuff to Master Hand. The walking Piranha Plant stood close to Tom Nook, who was shivering even harder than before...
"Petey, you know what to do. Eat that Tom Nook alive!" Heeding Master Hand's command, Petey lipped his lips, as he attempted to bite at Tom Nook. The tanoki jumped away in the nick of time, before running away.
"Aaaaaaah!" Tom Nook found himself screaming for his life, as Petey chased the poor tanoki down. J.T. and Gerome watched the chase, grateful that they weren't on the receiving end.
"I think we should be heading back to Atlanta..." J.T. said to Gerome, who agreed wholeheartedly as they returned inside the mansion.
"Everyone, I have an announcement..." said Master Hand, after J.T. and Gerome had left. "...because of Tom Nook's actions, everyone will be encouraged to cheer on for the Rams in the Super Bowl. I repeat, everyone will be..."
"Yeah, yeah, we get it..." responded Samus, as she and everyone else returned to their respective residences. "...screw cheering for whoever you want to win."
Back in the teleportation room, Mega Man and .EXE sent J.T. and Gerome back to Atlanta, so they could take care of whatever business they needed to take care of. The buddy cops watched the two men being teleported, from the hallway.
"I have no clue why, but I feel like we should have hated J.T. with a burning passion for something...he did, or is," said Toon Link, unable to put his finger on why J.T. deserved to be hated. "... do you have any ideas, Hutch?"
"Beats me, but the cap on his friend's head could've given us a clue," replied Young Link, as the two buddy cops walked away.
Toon Link: Tom Nook...he rigged the game the whole time, just to give the Patriots an easier road to victory in the Super Bowl. As well as making it easier for him to bet his money on them...the money he hoped to gain from wrecking Master Hand's vehicle, and selling it for cash! Now, Hutch, you know what to do...theme song!
Young Link: *sings Law and Order theme song*