Author's Note:
More guest reviews...let's just jump right in:
"How soon will the Monster Hunter Stories characters show up? Will Patty from the Devil May Cry anime show up? (Since Devil May Cry 5 recently gave her a voice cameo) has Pit improved on his reading? Will you include a Dragon's Dogma chapter? (Since it's coming out on the Switch) and finally, do you think Chikorita gets way too much hate out of all of the starter Pokemon?"
Don't know yet. She might, if I can find her something to do. Pit has improved his reading...slightly. Won't be doing a Dragon's Dogma chapter, since I've got something else planned. And why is Chikorita hated for? WHAT HAS SHE EVER DONE TO BE HATED IN THE FIRST PLACE?! I mean, she's not my favorite starter Pokemon or anything, but I just don't understand. I'll never understand. On to Testing:
"I'm reviewing this from the first chapter, can you see this? Just curious, thanks."
Yes, I can see your review. Mission completed...next up is OP is bae (who's the OP?):
"Considering this is a T rated story, that equals a PG-13 movie, ans as such you are allowed one F-Bomb. I vote Isabelle gets it."
No F-Bombs and other profanity are allowed in my story. Even if I did, I would never have Isabelle use an F-Bomb in the first place. Derick Lindsey has a question about Impa and her lady friends:
"So Impa, Lana, and Linkle are officially gone right?"
The three ladies are officially gone, but they'll be back for the year-end chapter. Moving on, with a suggestion from Lindsey:
"Also since you already know about Reggie retiring and Doug Bowser taking the mantle could you do a chapter where Bowser decides to leave the mansion to take over Nintendo of America or maybe have him getting a farewell party where he lies about having to leave in order to lead NoA to get presents (kinda like the Ned's Declassified episode where Cookie lies about leaving and everyone believes it)?"
Oh yeah, I loved watching Ned's Declassified...and for that reason, I will use your idea in the future. Last up is PinkKittyRose:
"1. Will there be a Pokemon Sword and Shield chapter similar to chapter 48, where someone from the Galar comes to the mansion and brings in the gen 8 pokemon to the pokemon sanctuary?
2. Will the other residents who helped Tom Nook get unbanned from the mansion all find out that their plan failed since Master Hand banned him again? Also, will we see the reactions of the residents who helped Tom Nook when they find out?
3. Were some of those unused scenes that you showed us meant to be used? Did you made some of them up for this chapter? Also, why were some of those scenes, like the t pose and fire drill scenes, not used? I could definitely see the two scenes that I mentioned be really funny if those scenes were used.
4. To be on the safe side, is this next arc about the all star manor? Also, will we find out later on what Dante and Nathan were up to and why they got some footage of the unused scenes?
5. Are the former roommates of Marth, Pac-man and Olimar currently by themselves and will get new roommates eventually or do they have new roommates already?
6. Emil comes back to the mansion to get his free ice cream, and he will not leave the mansion until he gets his free ice cream.
7. What about having someone helping Andrew, Timmy, and Tommy, all at the same time, maybe in a group section or something, help them feel better and all of them to accept the fact about Andross's and Tom Nook's fates, Andrew with his uncle arrested, while with Timmy and Tommy, about Tom Nook's ban for the second time in a row."
1. There will be a Pokemon Sword and Shield chapter, with someone bringing the Gen 8 Pokemon to the sanctuary.
2. They might find out later in due time, or maybe they already knew in-between the events of this chapter and the previous chapter.
3. The unused scenes in the last chapter were not meant to be used - I just did them so I could have something easy to do after chapter 167. They're all based around the cold open scenes from the Office.
4. Out of the fear that I might spoil something, all I can say is...you might find the answer within this chapter.
5. I'll try and find them new roommates soon.
6. There will be ice cream...lots and ice of ice cream...don't know when, though.
7. That would be a good way to get those three involved.
Episode 169: WeightLoss
It was safe to say that at the mansion, health was never a number one priority of Master Hand's. The creator of the Smash universe never cared how much candy Pit consumed in one day, or how frequent Sonic ate his chili dogs, or how fatter the likes of King Dedede, King K. Rool, and Wario were getting.
Such a mentality has already spread to Crazy Hand, who honestly didn't give a crap what the residents of the tower ate. Someone like Isaac could splurge himself on pizza and hot wings for an entire month and get fat, and Crazy Hand still wouldn't care. This laissez-faire attitude was adopted from Master Hand - a giant hand who was hardly ever concerned about the health and well-being of his residents.
But today, all of that would change, when a health inspector prepared to stop by the mansion. Master Hand was in his room, speaking with Isabelle.
"So I've been thinking, with that awards show coming up soon...we should have our very own awards show," Master Hand suggested to Isabelle, who wrote down the giant hand's suggestion on her clipboard. "We'll award the best brawlers, and laugh at those who came away empty-handed."
"Seems like a mean-spirited, yet typical thing for you to do, Master Hand," remarked Isabelle, who was completely down with having an awards show. It was something different. "Where will we have the awards show at?"
"Well we could do it in the lecture hall, we should have enough room. Only thing we'd have to worry about is finding a host. Balthier did a dandy job hosting the Christmas concert last year...as hard as it is for me to say that...but we probably shouldn't bother him...again."
Master Hand looked outside through his window, and shuddered in fear when he saw a bespectacled man walking towards the mansion. The man, adorned with his white dress shirt and blue slacks, struck fear and intimidation in Master Hand.
"Oh crap, it's that guy again!" panicked Master Hand, lowering the blinds on the windows and locking his door shut. "Quick Isabelle, hide - we can't let him know that we're here."
"Who are we hiding from?" inquired Isabelle, as Master Hand grabbed the shih tzu and threw her underneath his bed. The giant hand looked around, wondering what else must be done.
Master Hand: That dumb health inspector...he had the nerve to stop by Mario's home, and ask him stupid questions about his eating habits and whatnot. Trying to make him and Peach feel all sorts of guilty. Never in my entire existence have I ever seen a stranger so nosy about one's personal life...so disgusting. He did the same with Luigi, Marth, and the others. Got no clue why they didn't tell that bum to vamoose, but I would have to assume that they were too guilt-shamed to do anything about it.
"Oh Master Hand, you have a visitor!" announced Ribbon Girl, as she knocked on the door. Master Hand, hoping that the visitor was someone else stopping by at the mansion, unlocked his door and opened it just a little bit, enough to see Ribbon Girl's face.
"...it's not another Jehovah's Witness, is it?" asked Master Hand, trying to look past Ribbon Girl. "I've already sent the last group back home crying...don't wanna do it again, you know?"
"No, it's not them...it's some health inspector guy. He wanted to ask you a few questions about the general health of the mansion. Healthy stuff, really. Where is he?"
"Excuse me miss, I'm right here," said the man from outside, appearing at Master Hand's door with his white dress shirt and blue slacks. This man was the health inspector, who paid Mario and friends a visit not so long ago. "Pleased to meet you Master Hand, I'm..."
"Ribbon Girl, why on earth did you let this bum inside my mansion?" Master Hand angrily questioned the pop singer, looking at the health inspector with disdain. "He could secretly be evil, for all we know."
"Take it easy, Master Hand, I'm not evil in any sense of the word. I just wanted to come by and see how healthy your residents are - to see if they're exercising and promoting healthy habits. Your neighbors Mario and Peach didn't mind my presence!"
"And I'm sure you made both of them feel bad about themselves. You shameful man...you enjoy making others feel bad, don't you?!"
"I mean, that's really not my intent...I just want people to be healthy, and live long, healthy lives. That's all I really do, as a health inspector - trying to steer everyone in the right direction."
"Yeah, likely story...if you're that desperate, then I guess you can go ahead and do your...health inspection thing. Just stay out of my way, got it? You can give me your stupid consensus or something once you're done."
"Okay, that seems fair. This mansion is pretty big, so it'll take me a while to fully analyze everything. But I'll make sure to take my time!" The health inspector walked away, as Master Hand looked at him, still with heavy disdain.
"Shocked you're giving him a chance," Ribbon Girl said to Master Hand, as Isabelle crawled out from underneath Master Hand's bed. "Knowing you, you'd probably fling him out of the mansion, or send him down in the basement!"
"If Mario and Peach dealt with the health inspector and made it out alive, then I should give the inspector the benefit of the doubt," replied Master Hand, floating over to his window and pulling the blinds back up. "But just this one time..."
Having finished his whole inspection thing, the health inspector met with Master Hand in the foyer, to give the giant hand the 411. Master Hand didn't expect to hear any negative feedback.
"So, after doing some inspecting around the mansion, I have to say..." the health inspector started, with Master Hand interested in what he would say. "...that you have a major problem on your hands, Master Hand."
"Me, having a major problem on my hands?" responded Master Hand, having a small shred of disbelief in his tone. "What could it be? Is it Palutena's cooking? Please tell me you tasted her food!"
"No, no, it's not Lady Palutena...her cooking prowess, or the lack thereof, should be the least of your problems. The major problem you have, Master Hand, is that you have a serious weight problem. So many of your residents are overweight, or above their standard BMI."
"That sounds impossible! I have a lot of lean residents in my mansion; you must've missed them. They've must have went hiding when they saw you. Wouldn't blame them if they did!"
"Believe me, I saw some lean folks...but I also saw others who were fat, or have bad eating habits. And those bad eating habits will make them fat one day. I can just guarantee it..."
"Oh really? Show me one fat person right now, and I'll show you a lean, fit person in response." Without looking, the health inspector pointed at Petey Piranha, who was in the foyer eating chocolate-glazed doughnuts with Piranha Plant. Not a great diet for either plant.
Petey Piranha: *shrugs, before eating from a box of chocolate-glazed doughnuts*
"I...don't know how they got those doughnuts," Master Hand had this to say about the plant buddies. He was really looking bad in front of the health inspector. "But those two eating doughnuts doesn't mean anything!"
"Who knew jumbo chili dogs would be better than the regular ones?" said Sonic, as he walked by eating a jumbo chili dog. The health inspector saw this, and was very, very displeased.
"What do you expect, chili dogs are his favorite food! His trademark! You want him to stop eating chili dogs? That's like forcing T-Pain to stop using autotune!...Okay, he doesn't really do it anymore, but you know what I mean."
"Master Hand, you have a problem with your residents...and you can be the one to fix it," stated the health inspector, knowing what Master Hand should do. "You should encourage your residents to lose weight, as a means to offset their bad eating habits."
"And what about those who don't have bad eating habits, what should they do? I have two fitness trainers who only eating fruits and veggies, and soy products. They can't possibly lose any more weight, with how pale and anorexic they look!"
"Then you should tell them to encourage the others to lose their bad eating habits, and lose weight. Have them lead the way!" Master Hand was partially against the idea - he thought the Wii Fit Trainers encouraging others to be healthy and fit would be too easy.
"Yeah, yeah, I'll think about it...are you done now? I'll encourage the others to lose weight, if it'll make you feel happy. Pinky promise!" Silly Master Hand - your pinky finger was too big for that kiddie stuff.
"If you're making the promise...then, I suppose my work here is done." The health inspector turned around and walked away, as Master Hand let out a sigh of relief. "I'll come back later today, to see how things are coming along. Expecting great progress, on the first day!"
"You can count on me, buddy!" Master Hand gave the health inspector a thumbs up, and the health inspector smiled as he left the mansion. "Can't believe I'm doing what he says..." Master Hand mumbled under his breath, after the health inspector left.
"Doing what, exactly?" inquired an eavesdropping Sonic, having finished off his jumbo chili dog. "Just who was that guy?" Master Hand looked at Sonic, with intrigue.
"Some lousy health inspector who wanted me to promote healthy habits in the mansion...and encourage everyone to lose weight. If I'm gonna pull it off, then I'll need an 'assistant' to get the deed done...so how about it, Sonic?"
"Wait, you want me to help you?" Sonic laughed at the thought of being Master Hand's assistant, but the hedgehog was down for anything - provided he wasn't getting punished. "Thought you would ask the Wi Fit Trainers, but sure, I'm down!"
"Nah, that would be easy. Also, they eat soy food products, can't trust them with that. Together, we'll make the mansion healthy again, the two of us!"
Sonic:...was the mansion ever healthy to begin with? Maybe before I came along, it was.
Master Hand and Sonic entered the dining, where they saw many residents eating lunch. Leon was eating some leftover pizza, Little Mac was eating a greasy cheeseburger, and Villager was literally eating peanut butter out of the container, with a spoon. All in all, Master Hand found it disgusting, how everyone was eating.
"Alright everyone, I have an announcement," announced Master Hand, as everyone looked at the giant hand. "This is your last meal, so eat up!" Of all the announcements Master Hand made in recent memory, this one was the least well-received, as everyone looked bummed.
"Yeah, from now on, nobody's allowed to use the bathroom!" added Sonic; this was another announcement everyone was bummed about. Good thing Master Hand hadn't made it official yet. "We need to keep our starting weights high so we can lose more!"
Master Hand: I'm gonna make that health inspector's wee heart happy, and encourage everyone to lose weight. Will there be a prize? Hmm...whomever loses the most weight will have three days away from the mansion, for vacationing.
"What should we do with our leftovers?" asked Fiora, who was eating some ramen noodles. Those noodles were precious; the Homs couldn't possibly afford to throw them away.
"I'm gonna take my other cheeseburger and give it to Pac-Man," said Little Mac, grabbing an uneaten cheeseburger as he got up from his seat. Sonic would stop him in his tracks, wagging his finger at the boxer.
"No way Jose, this is your last meal, no leftovers," stated Sonic, as Little Mac backed away from Sonic. "Just eat that cheeseburger, and cherish it with all your life!"
"Screw that, I'll just eat my lunch over in Mario's bunker," said Snake, leaving the dining room with his pulled pork sandwich so he could look for the trap door in the foyer to Mario's bunker.
"Yeah, I'm with ya, I'll join you there," said Little Mac as he grabbed his half-eaten cheeseburger and followed after Snake. Sonic, acting fast, grabbed a bottle of bug spray off the table and sprayed it all over the uneaten cheeseburger."
"Ha ha! Try taking that to Mario now!" Little Mac was angered by Sonic's actions, as he placed his food on the table and marched towards Sonic, who backed away. "I'm sorry, it was just a joke!"
To see how everyone weighed, Master Hand and Sonic had the residents join them in the fitness center, so they could stand on a scale. There was a single-file line in the middle of the fitness center, standing in front of a giant scale...that was constructed by the male Wii Fit Trainer.
"Hit the scales, everybody, right on that black platform," Master Hand directed everyone unto the giant scale, as Male Wii Fit looked on with folded arms. "Step right up, no pushing or shoving!"
"Don't go breaking my scale," Male Wii Fit warned the residents, having to be weary of certain individuals. "Took me forever to patch that thing up."
Fox: I'm excited to lose weight - that way I'll be even leaner in time for my wedding with Krystal. Gonna have washboard abs the first time Krystal sees me naked.
"I've been told that Master Hand is doing some kind of weight loss thingy," Peach informed Mario, as the couple entered the fitness center. Master Hand and Sonic were thoroughly surprised to see them. "And he's actually going through with it!"
"Judging by the looks-a of it, he actually is!" remarked Mario, seeing everyone getting on the giant scale. How the scale was able to hold so many people will forever remain a mystery.
"Mario, Peach, what brings you here?" Master Hand asked the married couple, hoping they weren't joining the residents on the scale. That scale could only hold so many individuals. "You're not part of the weight loss initiative."
"Wait a minute!" shouted Sonic, hopping off the scale and running to a door in the fitness center, before opening said door and taking out a secret sack. Sonic opened this sack, and pulled out...a chili dog. "One more bite of chili dog each. Hold it in your mouth if you can't swallow."
"As if, we don't know where those chili dogs have been," frowned Link, as Sonic grumbled and put the sack back where it belonged. The hedgehog then rushed back unto the scale, so Male Wii Fit could weigh everyone.
"Let's see..." Male Wii Fit pressed a button on the giant scale, and seconds later, a gargantuan number would appear. "My oh my, 10,477 pounds! A lot lower than what I was expecting. Some portion control might be in order!"
"Hold up, Mario and Peach were both on the scale," Sonic pointed at Mario and Peach, who had scurried unto the scale at the last minute while Sonic was fetching his bag of chili dogs. "10,447 is not an official number!"
"Mario and Peach, we would love to have your extra poundage, but you're not mansion residents anymore, so begone!" said Master Hand, as Mario and Peach kindly stepped off the scale. "Mansion family only."
"Mansion family only!" screamed Pit, being the biggest suck-up ever, as he pumped his fists in the air. Kirby sighed, like Incineoar facepalmed out of embarrassment.
"Got the new number on the scale," announced Male Wii Fit, as a new number was generated by the giant scale. "10,140 pounds is the number."
"Mario, Peach, you weight 400 pounds together?" Pit asked Mario and Peach; math clearly wasn't the angel's best subject. But at least he knew more about babies!
"Almost, Pit - I'm not as 'fat' or-a flabby as everyone makes-a me out to be," replied Mario, who only weighed 196 pounds...yet was pretty close to five feet in terms of height, making his BMI 37. Not very good.
"Not almost, though," stated Peach, as Mario looked at his wife, not wanting her to downplay his perceived weight. "I mean, not close to 400..."
"Math is very hard-a Princess Peach. You should-a know that better than anyone." Pit nodded in agreement, as Peach looked exasperated.
"But...yeah, we'll just, we'll just stick with that...why not."
Master Hand: Oy vey, 10,140 pounds?! That's not good, the health inspector would have a heart attack if he heard that number. Would be very ironic. I gotta get everyone's weight down, but how? *pauses* I think I know a guy...
Chef Kawasaki was in the kitchen of the tower, doing what he did best...cooking food. Food that disgusted the residents greatly. It was a good thing Tingle also knew how to cook, otherwise the tower denizens would be suffering greatly.
"La dee la dee do, la dee la dee da..." Chef Kawasaki happily sang to himself, cooking some stew. After shaking some seasoning in the stew, the chef turned around to get some salt and pepper...only to scream in fright when he saw Master Hand, looking at him.
"Howdy," Master Hand spoke, amused by how afraid Chef Kawasaki looked; the chef was literally shivering in fear, wielding a frying pan like a weapon. "I've told told that you have some special kind of food...the kind that makes people lose weight. Is that true?"
"Y-Yes, that is true...acquired said food from NME Enterprises. What do you want with it?" Food from NME Enterprises? That's...not a very good sign.
Ecstatic that he and Krystal were back in the groove - the romantic groove, Fox was looking ahead towards the future, thinking about marrying Krystal. This time around, the pilot planned to go about his way in a less...rambunctious manner.
"I'm totally gonna slaughter at the next weigh-in," Fox told Raven, as the two were hanging out in the lounge. Raven was reading a magazine, trying to tune out Fox.
"Better get ready then...since the next one's in the next hour or two," replied Raven, greatly surprising Fox. The last weigh-in wasn't even that long ago! "Master Hand made me eat a chicken breast and drink diet soda, both of which he got from Chef Kawasaki."
"Really? That's weird. Master Hand never forced me to eat anything. Hope that chicken breast from Kawasaki wasn't made by him!"
"Thankfully it wasn't - it came from an 'outside source', Master Hand claimed. Huge step-up from Kawasaki, in my opinion." Raven looked up from her magazine, and saw Doc Louis run by, jogging past the lounge.
"Y'all can join me if you like, the bandwagon's open!" Doc Louis smiled and waved at Fox and Raven, who were both mesmerized at the sight of the boxing trainer jogging so effortlessly. Doc was never this active before.
Doc Louis: I've been losing weight on my own prior to Master Hand's initiative, and for my own reasons. The truth is, I have lost a little of my speed, a little of my fire. Here's what I used to look like. *holds up a photo of his younger self, when he was boxing champion* Look at those biceps! We were fighting the power and eating whatever we wanted.
Mario was sweating in his living room, having finished a yoga session. A very intense yoga session at that - one that Peach was a part of. While Peach was cooling off in her bedroom, Mario was downstairs, sweating like a G.
"Ah, looks like someone's showering downstairs..." said Spyro, as he entered the living room. The body odor was pretty foul to the dragon, penetrating his nostrils.
"Did you see Princess-a Peach's butt?" Mario asked Spyro - what a very weird question to ask a dragon, who probably didn't find humans remotely attractive.
"No I didn't..." replied Spyro, as he eyed around the living room. "...because most of the time, friends don't talk about other friends' butts."
"I know, I know...I was just-a testing you. Wanted to see where-a your interests lie."
"Extremely weird, but okay. So how did that weight thing go?"
"Went well. Peach and I combined-a weigh 207 pounds, according to the scale. Pretty sure most of it has-a to do with her butt."
"Eh, I'm sure Daisy's bigger." Spyro and Mario both shared a laugh together. Mario could never joke around like this with Impa.
"But seriously, you have to agree-a that most of the 207 pounds-a has to do with Peach's butt."
"I'm not...gonna agree with you on that." Spyro cautiously backed away, eyeing around the living room before darting away.
"Hmph. Have-a it your way then...I know Cappy will-a agree with me."
Makoto has wanted to be a police commissioner one day, and it wasn't a career goal she aspired to fulfill for a long time. She wanted to become a police commissioner so she could not only honor her late father's legacy, but to destroy the lawless and rescue victims. Makoto couldn't be a police commissioner without any proper schooling...
...which was why she signed up for an informational classes about law, which took place at the University of Washington. Signed up for them not that long ago. And now, Makoto was ready for the classes, ready for any challenge in her way.
"So you have your directions," Joker spoke with Makoto in the vending machine room, where Mr. Game and Watch was restocking the vending machines with nothing but fruit snacks.
"Yes," Makoto nodded her head, with a very assuring smile.
"You have your necessary writing utensils."
"Yes," Makoto nodded her head once more, her smile still intact.
"You have your cellphone charger with you."
"I have everything I need. No need to worry, Joker!"
Makoto: Today I'll be attending some law-based classes at the University of Washington's School of Law. I will be a little fish in the Big Emerald. That's what they call Seattle these days, right?
"Hey Makoto, can you fax this for me?" Corrin approached the brunette, holding a sheet of paper in his hands. "Still don't know how to fax things..."
"No can do, Makoto has to be at the university in only a couple of minutes," replied Joker, seeing how much Corrin wanted to have whatever was in his hands to be faxed. "I have to see her off."
"It's not going to take her a couple of minutes to fax it, Joker." Joker frowned, as Corrin directed his attention back to Makoto. "If I don't see you again, Makoto...goodbye. Well, actually, I'll see you when you give me the fax confirmation, so never mind." Corrin handed Makoto the paper, and left the premises.
"He does realize that I'll be back in time before dinner, right?" Makoto asked Joker, who slightly shrugged his shoulders.
Fox, feeling in a pretty good mood today, knocked on the door to the Assist Tower. To his surprise, and convenience, Krystal answered the door.
"Ay, Krystal, what up babe?" Fox greeted the vixen, pointing at her with his fingers like how any cool guy would do. Krystal found Fox's antics amusing.
"Nothing much, was just about to head back to my room," replied Krystal, grateful that she and Fox were back on speaking terms again. "So what brings you here?"
"Check out this awesome brochure I got." Fox pulled a brochure out of his pocket, and showed it to Krystal. "Pacific Yacht Charters. Located in Vancouver, Canada. It has a great view from the upper deck. And the service and quality is top-notch!"
Fox: Every little boy fantasizes about his fairy-tale wedding.
"That's cute, Fox," smiled Krystal, having to fake her excitement about the brochure and the yacht. None of it really mattered to her.
"It's pretty close to Seattle, so you won't feel as homesick," added Fox, like he expected Krystal to care. "Though you might get a little seasick..."
"That's good and all, but I really don't care about this yacht. Not really into cruises. But thanks for showing me your brochure."
"Okay then. Just wanted to see if you were interested." Krystal closed the door, as Fox walked away. "Doesn't like cruise ships...gotta scratch that one off the list."
After speaking with Fox, Krystal went up to her bedroom, and closed the door and locked it shut. The vixen then pulled up the window, as two blue feathery hands grabbed the bottom of the window...as Falco pulled himself up and fell down out of the window and into Krystal's room.
"So how did it go, what did you guys discuss?" inquired Falco, who appeared to be acting like a very nosy friend. What if he had an ulterior motive?
"Fox showed me a yacht that I was hardly interested in," replied Krysta - seemed like a very sneaky thing for her to do, speaking with Falco in private. "Pacific Yacht Charters, I believe that's what it was called..."
"Yeah, I wouldn't be done with doing anything on a yacht, or a boat...sounds too cliche in my opinion. You should opt with something else."
"Well in that case, you better come up with some bright ideas - can't let ME do all the brainstorming around here." What were Krystal and Falco up to?
About ready to take his shower (who knows what was taking him so long), Mario was about to head to the bathroom with a white towel around his waist. He looked outside through the window and saw Joker and Makoto walking by his house. The plumber instantly knew where the two were headed...especially Makoto.
"Hey, hey!" Mario hurriedly ran out of the front door, running towards Joker and Makoto and grabbing their attention. The plumber fell down on the walkway, then got up, only to fall down again and get up once more. Amazingly, his towel didn't fall down during that sequence. "Makoto, wait!"
"What happened, Mario?" Joker asked the plumber, as Mario caught up with the young man and Makoto, completely out of breath.
"Makoto, I wrote-a you a motivational poem, just for you. It's really long. I left it up-a in my bedroom. Could you just please-a wait till I go get it?"
" I should really get going," replied Makoto, delighted that Mario wrote her a motivational poem...yet at the very same time, somewhat concerned. "Gotta catch the bus."
"...yeah, you know what, that's-a fine. Um, the last word-a of the poem is 'seagulls'. Just wanted to let-a you know."
"I'm sure it was a very beautiful poem. Maybe I'll read it later, when I return to the mansion."
"I took a lot from-a other poems. I'm not that original when it comes-a to poetry...Princess Peach knows." Suddenly a bus pulled up to Mario's house, parking near the driveway, as Toad the bus thief opened the bus door.
"Ahem...the bus is up and ready to go!" announced Toad; how was he able to drive the bus, with his diminutive size? "You're all set, Makoto?"
"Call or text me before class starts," Joker told Makoto, who had to go right away - her class was about to start pretty soon. Couldn't waste any time.
"Will do," smiled Makoto - it was great having a supporting friend like Joker, to support her career choice. Joker was perfect boyfriend material.
"Don't forget to call-a or text me too!" said Mario, as he was about to hug Makoto...only for Joker to hold out his arm in front of him, stopping his progress. Makoto hopped on the bus, as the bus door closed.
"Don't even think about it..." Joker sternly told Mario, putting a sizable amount of fear in the plumber's eyes.
Joker: Why haven't I asked Makoto out yet? *blushes* Um...actually Morgana and I talked about it at nighttime. Let's just say that, it has much to do with...commitment. We'll just leave it at that.
It was time for yet another weigh-in, as Master Hand gathered the residents in the fitness center. The giant hand forced the residents to consume food and drink from Chef Kawasaki...or rather, NME Enterprises, in the hopes of making them lose weight. Time to see how his progress was coming along...
"Remember everyone, same places as last time!" Master Hand informed the residents, as they were all trying to fit on the giant scale. Male Wii Fit was hoping and praying that his giant scale wouldn't collapse.
"It doesn't really matter, Master Hand, as long as everyone's here," stated Viridi - how dare the goddess of nature talk back to Master Hand that way!
"Yes, it does matter. This is about weight displacement. We have to have the same weight distribution. Now, is everyone on the scale? Good. Male Wii Fit, read us the number! Please be lower, please be lower, please be lower..." Master Hand whispered that last sentence while crossing his fingers.
"Good news everyone - collectively, you've lost close to 10 pounds!" announced Male Wii Fit, as Master Hand cheered and shook his fist. Nobody expected him to take weight loss so seriously.
"Great! Seems like we're heading in the right direction. Keep up the good work, people!"
Makoto arrived at the University of Washington, and was now sitting in a classroom at the School of Law. Having sent Joker a text message (poor Mario), the brunette was patiently waiting for class to begin...as the professor hadn't arrived yet. Just then, a middle-aged man came bursting through the classroom door, with his belongings.
"Sorry I'm late, everyone - I accidentally switched my alarm clock setting to Zapf Chancery," this man, the professor of the class, apologized to his students, laughing sheepishly as he placed his belongings underneath the podium. "Which is my terrible segue into our course, Legislation and the Regulatory State."
"Shoot, I'm in the wrong class..." worried Makoto, as she bit her knuckle. She had made a grave mistake, with no turning back. Or was there?
"Some of you may remember from last semester. I am Professor Davis." Sensing her opportunity to leave, Makoto got up out of chair, and left the room. "And looks like I'm boring someone already." Professor Davis caught Makoto, who stopped in place and slowly turned her head around.
"Oh no, I don't think you're boring. It's just that. I'm in the wrong..."
"Please sit down." With no chance of escaping, Makoto quietly went back to her desk, and sat down in her seat.
Zelda was walking through the hallway, minding her own business, when she heard some loud sniffling. Fearing that someone had a cold, the princess went to the source of the sniffling, and saw ninja girl Asuka, i her room sitting on her bed while covered in her blanket.
"My goodness, Asuka, you're shaking," fretted Zelda, seeing how miserable and sickly the idol singer was. "Are you alright?"
"Shut up and leave me alone!" Asuka snapped on Zelda, who was taken back by Asuka's response as she quietly left the premises. Asuka held her head down, as she sniffled.
Asuka: *shaking* Master Hand forced me to do a cleanse diet. He said all I have to do is drink maple syrup, lemon juice, cayenne pepper and water nonstop - all of which he got from Chef Kawasaki. But I just bought some bikinis online, size 2. So...whatever.
Figuring out that Krystal didn't really appreciate the brochure all that well, Fox returned to the tower, and was let inside by Gray Fox. The pilot waited in the lobby for Krystal to come down, which she did eventually.
"Hey, it's me again...got some more cool stuff to show ya," Fox said to Krystal, who had her arms folded as Fox took out four photos. "Got four pictures of some really cool locales - hot-air balloons over Napa Valley, world-famous Walt Disney's Epcot Center, scuba-diving wedding in the Bahamas and the Wilkes-Barre Marriott Ballroom C."
"I'm not interested in all of them, to be honest," Krystal offered her two cents, breaking Fox's precious little heart. Hot-air balloons sounds dangerous, anything involving Disney is too kiddie for my pleasure, I don't know how to swim in water, and I'm sure the Marriott Ballroom is haunted..."
"Ah, I see...it was worth a shot. Looks like my girlfriend has some very unique taste...not that I mind."
Having spoken with Fox once more, Krystal returned to her room, where Falco was hanging out. The avian pilot was chilling out on Pandora's bed, reading a magazine he found on Pandora's dresser.
"Yo, I got the perfect locale for you and Fox," Falco told Krystal once he saw the vixen, sitting up on Pandora's bed.
"It better be something good..." said Krystal, before Falco opened the magazine he was reading out wide to the vixen. Whatever Krystal saw greatly intrigued her. "Ooh, is that a real place?"
"By the looks of it, I gotta say it has to be real. So, whaddaya think? You like?"
Joker was in the computer room, trying to have a video chat with Makoto. Makoto informed Joker via text that she was on break, and that she wanted to chat with him before break was over. Joker said that he would do a video chat, and Makoto happily obliged.
"I am connecting and...you are not there," said Joker, staring a black screen on his Skype window on the computer screen. "Did you install Skype right? Try checking the applications folder."
"One moment...yes, I can see you!" exclaimed Makoto, as her face eventually appeared on the Skype window. "This is so cool!" Makoto, video chatting isn't even the coolest thing going on right now. Raise your standards, girl.
"Indeed...so what's going on, Makoto? Or should I say, girl in the computer?"
"Having lunch with a girl from my class. She's pretty nice."
"Joker, can you kindly turn the girl off please?" Kirby asked the young man, seated three computers away from him. The puffball was with Pit and Incineroar, with Pit using a computer for reasons unknown. "Pit is trying to master this spelling game, and he needs all the concentration he can..."
"Dang it, I lost once again!" Pit frowned in defeat, after pressing the wrong key, as he slammed his fist on the table. The angel turned in his chair and saw Makoto, on Joker's computer screen. "Oh, hey Makoto! It's me, Pit! Don't I look shiny?"
"Why did it have to be him..." Makoto facepalmed, as Pit excitedly ran over to the computer, shoving Joker out of the way.
"Hey Makoto, you can see Kirby and Incineroar, right?" Pit grabbed Kirby and Incineroar, his two favorite people, and pulled them in front of the computer screen. "These are my two friends! Say, have you ever met Incineroar? He is awesome. He is a bright light in this dump we call a mansion. Okay, not really...all he does is pose and flex and scratch people."
"The nerve of that Pokemon..." Makoto was still facepalming; Pit was literally speaking to her like she never knew who his friends were.
"Oh, chill out weirdo, it was just a joke...Incineroar's such a weirdo! But you know what? My real beef with him, though, Makoto? He doesn't eat malasadas. How can my friends and I enjoy eating malasadas, if one of my friends doesn't like it?"
"He's a freaking cat, for crying out loud...just give him some cat food instead." Or Pokemon food, that would work much better.
"You're right, Makoto, you're totally right...onward to the kitchen!" Pit marched out of the computer room, with Kirby and Incineroar having no choice but to follow the angel.
Makoto: The University of Washington is so exciting. I'm digging the classes so far...though I wasn't supposed to be in one of them. The campus is pretty neat. Um, can you give me back to Joker now, please?
It was time for yet another weigh-in, as the residents gathered together on the giant scale in the fitness center once more. As always, Male Wii Fit was to read the scale's final reading.
"Okay, everybody, let's suck in our guts!" exclaimed Sonic, as he sucked his own stomach in. Only a few residents followed suit.
"Oh my...this isn't good," worried Male Wii Fit, as the final reading appeared on the scale. "You all lost only one pound!"
"Dang it! Come on guys," Master Hand expressed his displeasure at the residents, not wanting to let the health inspector down. Suddenly, Asuka fell off the scale and unto the floor, fainting in an instant.
"Oh snap, we got a girl down for the count!" said King Dedede, as Leia came over to check upon Asuka. "Someone get the IV!"
Doc Louis: I lost four pounds. I don't know what those other fools were doing, but I lost four pounds. *smirks proudly*
Rosalina stood in the dining room with Luma, in front of an open pantry. The mother of Lumas rested her hand underneath her chin, as she took a look at the food available in the pantry.
"Mega Man, I need you go to the supermarket and get some cheesecake," Rosalina told the Blue Bomber, who was busy feeding Rush some robot dog food. "Make sure it's the generic one. It's Doc Louis' favorite."
Rosalina: I've replaced Pac-Man as the mansion's own party planner. *shrugs* I guess I was just in the right place at the right time.
"How are things coming along, new party planner?" Master Hand asked Rosalina, as he appeared in the dining room without warning. Nearly scared the living crap out of Rosalina.
"It's...it's coming," replied Rosalina, who nearly had to catch her breath. "Everything is going well."
"Hey mama, I have a suggestion...what if we did fruit instead of cake?" suggested Luma, inadvertently putting Rosalina in some hot water as Master Hand was suddenly on edge.
"Cake? Whoever said anything about cake?" questioned Master Hand, expecting Rosalina to provide him an answer.
"We're losing weight, at a pretty steady pace. I think it's okay to reward ourselves every now and then."
"Are you kidding me? You guys only lost one pound at the last weigh-in, Rosalina. That deserves punishment more than anything."
Master Hand: What is wrong with these people? They have no willpower. I literally went an eternity without sticking a key into ignition. And then for another eternity. Granted, I'm just a giant floating hand, but my point still stands.
Unnerved by the convo he had with Rosalina earlier, Master Hand called for an impromptu meeting with the residents, in the meeting room.
"Does anyone have any idea what the number one cause of death is in this country?" Master Hand asked the residents, being as serious as he possibly could.
"Shotgun weddings," replied Lloyd, raising his hand up high. "I've read tons of stories about them online!"
"That's not what this is..." Link sternly told his fellow swordsman, before shaking his head.
"The number one cause of death...is fright," answered Snake; he would know that, frightening others with his stealth spying skills...and being frightened himself. "Being scared to death."
"What about obesity-caused illnesses?" asked Lucina, going with a complete guess. She seemed to have the right answer, as Master Hand gave her a thumbs up.
"Yes, that is correct, Lucina is right," confirmed Master Hand, leaving Lucina surprised that she correctly answered Master Hand's question. "People, this is not just about winning some vacation days. This is about a very cool initiative that if we don't follow, we are all going to die of obesity. So how much are we gonna lose?"
"I would like to lose 65 pounds," stated Champion Link; if he lost that much, he'd probably wind up being nothing but bones.
"Yes, alright. Who else?" Master Hand looked around the room, before pointing at Ann. "Can I put you down for 10 pounds?"
"No, my doctor wants me to gain weight," Ann earnestly replied; for some reason, Master Hand found Ann's response as a laughable excuse.
"If you gain weight, you will die. I want you to live forever. I want us all to live forever. Forever young. Like how Bowser preached to Lara at Berkut and Rinea's wedding reception. But how? How are we going to do this?"
"We'll achieve our goal through cyrogenics," replied Link, slightly joking, as he cracked his knuckles. "Beer me five."
"Usually I would condone consuming alcohol in the mansion, especially with the presence of children...but that's how we're gonna lose weight. Five pounds. I'm asking each of you to lose five pounds, before the end of the day. That plus Champion Link's 65 will give us a very good chance at winning this thing."
The end goal was now set...question was, will said goal be reached?
Once the meeting concluded, Fox stopped by the tower once more to pay Krystal another visit. This time, the pilot was sitting on a couch in the living room with his girlfriend, showing her some postcards.
"I don't know if there's any one place that has all these things," Fox said to Krystal, who was busy painting her nails, as he showed her his postcards.
"It's not my problem," replied Krystal, as she looked at her painted fingernails to see if the nail polish dried.
"Thousand-year-old church in the continental United States. There has to be a rainbow. 24-hour veterinarian on call."
"That's good and all, Fox, but...I really have to go now. Nice speaking with you again." Krystal got up from the couch, and Fox promptly got up afterwards.
"Krystal, wait!" Obeying Fox's command, Krystal stopped and turned around to face her man. "So, this might sound random, but...I don't care where we get married. I'll marry you right here in this tower. I'll marry you in the front yard. I'll marry you in the eye of a hurricane in the middle of a snowstorm on top of a monsoon. All I care about is that we're gonna spend the rest of our lives together."
"I know you will, Fox. Just...just don't go overboard and over the top like you did last time. We don't need to make each other feel awkward again." Krystal flashed a smile as she left the premises, and Fox smiled afterwards. Fox's smile would turn into a frown real quick, when he saw his best friend Falco walk by with that magazine from earlier. Falco noticed Fox right away.
"Uh, I can explain," the avian pilot said to Fox, who looked at him with his hands on his hips.
Wanting to prove to Rosalina that you could have a party without junk food and sweets, such as cake, Master Hand organized his own party in the ballroom. The menu? Fruits, vegetables, and...it was mostly fruits and veggies. Not that many people were in attendance. But at least there was party music playing!
"This is a pretty lame party, to be honest," Yoshi, one of the few partygoers, said to Master Hand while eating a celery stick.
"Does anyone want to dance?" shouted Isabelle, looking for a suitable dancing partner. What were the odds the shih tzu was forced to attend the party?
Meanwhile, Rosalina organized her own party, away from the mansion, at Marth and Caeda's home. She figured that hosting the party at Marth's place would lower the likelihood of Master Hand stopping by, since the giant hand usually intruded upon Mario and Luigi's homes. A lot of folks were in attendance, including Diddy Kong, who had to bring his music player since Marth was still reluctant in having electronics in his house.
"No need to fear, Marth, this is only temporary," Diddy said to the hero-king, who was looking at the music player with heavy disdain as Diddy cranked up the volume.
Donkey Kong: Diddy brought his music player to Marth's house for Rosalina's party, and Marth just threw a giant hissy fit about it. So I'm in here in Luigi's man cave, waiting it out until things get better.
At Rosalina's party was a giant cake, one that was more fitting for a wedding reception than any regular get-together. Doc Louis passed by this cake, only to run into new party planner Rosalina.
"Doc Louis, Master Hand nor Sonic are here," Rosalina informed the boxing trainer, resting an assuring hand on him. "You can get a slice of the cake."
"No Rosalina, it's fine, I don't like cake anymore," grinned Doc Louis, as he gently took Rosalina's hand off of him. Pigma, who was nearby eating some cookies, nearly choked after hearing what Doc had said.
"You don't like cake anymore?!" the shocked pig asked Doc Louis, who thought his ears were deceiving him. "Why not, man? What you got against cake?!"
"Tastes changed. Now all I like is baklava." Going from cake to baklava...talk about a complete 180 in dessert preference.
As the party continued, someone was watching from outside, through a window. It was Sonic, who had seen enough and sped away.
The blue blur ran back to the mansion, and to the ballroom where Master Hand's party was. Even Sonic thought the party was super lame.
"Master Hand, we have a situation on our hands..." Sonic informed the giant hand, who was busy dancing with Isabelle. Or at least trying to.
Master Hand left Isabelle alone without a dance partner at the party, as he followed Sonic to Marth's home. He looked through the window, and saw Rosalina's party taking place. Seeing so many sweets at the party made Master Hand furious.
"They shouldn't be having their party at Marth's home," Sonic said to Master Hand, before he started feeling salty. "So lame that they didn't invite us!"
"You know what we should do?" said Master Hand, as Sonic looked up at the giant hand. "We should force them to attend my own party. Teach them a lesson."
"Yeah! We'll kill them with lameness! We'll bore them to death, and then they'll never throw parties you disapprove of ever again!"
"That's right! I think these peons deserve to be busted. Sonic, you burst inside Marth's home and lay down the business. I'll follow after your lead."
Everyone was getting down at Rosalina's party, having a good time...when all of a sudden, the front door came down, stopping the party's mood. Diddy paused his music player, as Sonic came through the doorway looking tough.
Marth: *sighing: Thought I told Mutoh and those Carpenters that the hinges to the front door were weak...
"Party's over - you are so busted!" Sonic pointed at Rosalina, who hardly looked that afraid. She would get afraid, however, when Master Hand appeared in the living room, angry as ever.
"Rosalina did I or did I not say fruit?" the giant hand asked the mother of Lumas, who was biting her lower lip. So much for not getting caught.
"You said fruit, Master Hand," Rosalina sighed in response, as she lowered her head.
"And what is that, over there?" Master Hand pointed; Rosalina, her head still lowered, turned to face the cake.
"Th-That would be the cake, for the party."
"You know, we're gonna have to try a little harder if we are going to do this thing. No more cake. Capiche?"
"If you guys can't have the cake, then Caeda and I will have it for ourselves..." smirked Marth, as he carted the cake away. So much for sharing with the neighbors.
Sonic: It's kind of a good news, bad news situation. The bad news is we're not doing very well, so we really had to starve ourselves until the last weigh-in. But the good news is, if the dudes at the tower had to lose weight, they'd probably suck even more than us! Confidence builder. If we can just stay skinny long enough, we might have this thing in the bag!
Wario was in the kitchen, about to eat a bagel...but before he could eat said bagel, he had to smother it in peanut butter first. As he did so, Ken looked at him with an inquisitive stare, which the fatso noticed.
"What, are you judging me or something?" Wario snapped on Ken, as he was finished spreading peanut butter on his bagel. Had an egregious amount of it, too.
"Oh nothing, I was just watching," replied Ken, as he opened the fridge and looked inside. "Peanut butter on a bagel is a very interesting combo."
"Starting to think that some of us are taking this really seriously," stated Asuka, who was in the kitchen still feeling pretty sick.
Asuka: I'm not all that concerned. I mean, I swallowed a tapeworm once before. It grew three feet inside of me and then it ate all my food, preventing me from getting fat. And then after a while I took some medicine and then I passed it. Snake gave some to me. It was from Mexico.
Snake: *shaking his head* That wasn't a tapeworm...
One person that was absent from all the weight-losing shenanigans was Cloud, who was out doing some favors for Tifa. Most of which had to do with Barret. With that taken care of, Cloud returned to the mansion, and showed up at the gaming room.
"How is everybody doing?" Cloud greeted everyone in the gaming room, being as friendly as possible. Hardly anyone responded; some folks looked miserable. "A little quiet today, I see..."
"Yeah, it's a pretty long story," mumbled King K. Rool, who approached Cloud; the Kremling looked like he was the most starved reptilian in existence.
"K. Rool, what happened to you? You don't look so...well. Didn't get a good night's sleep?"
"Oh I got a good night's sleep...it's just that I've been eating healthy as of late. And it sucks!"
"Eating healthy just sounds...very unlike you." Rool didn't respond, as he walked away with his miserable self.
Master Hand: Just heard from Isabelle that Cloud is back at the mansion. Good. I want Cloud. I need Cloud. For the weigh-in, at least.
Cloud: Every time I'm gone away from the mansion for a period of time, I write down a list of weird stuff that happened while I was away. King K. Rool eating healthy might have to be at the top of my list...
Cloud saw his friend Link in the gaming room, as the Hylian was doing jumping jacks in place. The swordsman ventured over to Link, watching the Hylian's progress.
"Someone is trying to be active today," remarked Cloud, as Link was sweating the hardest he has ever sweated. Didn't stop him one bit.
"I'm just trying to lose weight, that's all," replied Link, inhaling and exhaling greatly with each and every jumping jack he did. "You should do the same."
"Why should I? I'm a pretty fit guy, and so are you, Link. First King K. Rool, and now you...is there some kind of initiative going on where everyone has to be healthy and fit and stuff?"
"If only you knew..." Cloud immediately knew the one individual that would put the initiative in effect in the first place...Master Hand.
Master Hand gathered the residents back at the fitness center, for yet another weigh-in. With Cloud back at the mansion, the swordsman was forced to participate.
"Well you lost zero pounds...no change," Male Wii Fit announced after reading the giant scale, as everyone grumbled. Master Hand partially blamed the results on Cloud. "On the plus side, you gained zero pounds!"
"Hey, you know what?" Sonic spoke up, disgusted by the result from the weigh-in. "I can't do this by myself people! Asuka and I are the only ones who have either passed out or almost passed out."
"Dang it guys, I really need a vacation!" frowned Wolf, not forgetting the essential prize from losing the most weight. "Who is slacking? Tell me, TELL ME!"
"Now is not the time for unnecessary finger-pointing," replied Master Hand, as Wolf looked around for possible culprits. "Let's just all try and work harder, okay?"
"NO! I want names! Give them to me!"
Wolf: This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my entire life. I haven't had a very hard life.
More committed to the weight loss goal than ever, Sonic went to the gaming room to make an announcement.
"Attention everyone, we only have a few hours left!" the hedgehog announced, before looking at Wendy. Wendy was left wondering why she was being looked at. "And most of you are just as fat as when we first started."
"How much weight have you lost, Sonic?" asked Link, as he took a close inspection at the hedgehog's body.
" I'm hardly the problem, Link."
"No, you're definitely the problem."
"This is what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna randomly select three names and these three people will get liposuction." Sonic looked around the gaming room, searching for liposuction candidates. "Doc Louis, Wario...and Wendy. You will be responsible for your own medical bills."
"Excuse me?!" frowned Wendy, as she angrily got up from her seat and confronted Sonic. "Are you insinuating that I'm FAT?"
"Okay, Wendy, I'm sorry, sorry for including you...it was way out of line. But you know what, I want to make it up to you! Although, it is a two-man job...you in?" Sonic held out his hand, as Wendy looked at it.
"Split the commission?" Wendy smiled at Sonic, holding her hands together as she batted her eyes. It worked to perfection, as Sonic sighed.
"Sixty-forty, how does that sound?" Wendy was fine with the terms, as she finally shook Sonic's hand. "We got ourselves a deal! Oh, and by the way, I'll drive."
Joker: Probably the weirdest thing about Makoto being gone would be lunch, since it forces me to become acquaintances with people I consider...fellow residents. It's a good thing I have my other Shadow Thief friends around.
Having finished her second class of the day, Makoto was hanging out in the campus courtyard, with a few friends she made. One was male, and the other was female.
"Oh no...everyone act normal," the male friend said, in a very panicky mood, as he saw someone approaching. "Don't say a single word."
"What's the matter?" Makoto asked her new friend, seeing how nervous and flustered he was.
"My ex-girlfriend. She's right behind you. Just... hide me."
"Where do you want us to hide you at?" the female friend asked, as the male friend was acting like he was having a panic attack.
"No, Makoto! Don't look!" Too late - Makoto looked behind her, and saw...an innocent old lady.
"Wow, was it the age difference?" Makoto asked her male friend, who was now left embarrassed.
"Uh, actually, kind of. Yes. I just didn't like eating dinner that early." Makoto and her new friends all shared a laugh, before Makoto's phone suddenly rang. Makoto answered her phone right away.
"Hey Joker! Can I call you back in a minute or two? I made friends!"
Having finished whatever deed needed to be finished, Sonic was back in the gaming room...but for some reason, Wendy was nowhere to be found. The female Koopaling would soon return to the gaming room, and boy did she look ticked...
"Sonic are you insane?!" the sweaty and out of breath Wendy snapped on Sonic, who was acting like he was a 100% innocent.
"Oh my goodness, Wendy, what happened?" Chrom asked the Koopaling, who gritted her teeth angrily at Sonic. Unwritten Rule #4: never trust Sonic for anything.
"Sonic drove me to an abandoned building away from the mansion and pushed me out of the car. I had to walk back with no money and no phone."
"And you burned over a thousand calories walking home," stated Sonic, looking on the bright side of Wendy's trek. "And this mansion just got a little bit closer to achieving its weight goal! Everyone give it up for Wendy Koopa!"
"You left me in a bad part of the city!" Hopefully that bad part of Seattle was devoid of clowns (unlike Belltown, according to Akira).
"Yeah, I took your purse. What are you worried about?" Wendy grunted at Sonic, as she marched back to the barstool where she left her cellphone. "You look great! I can definitely see the difference!" Ignoring Sonic's comments, Wendy dialed a number on her cellphone.
"Hello, Master Hand?" Wendy spoke into the phone, after her call was answered. "Oh, hi Isabelle...is Master Hand around?"
Yusuke had a strong affinity for paintings, and there were two other individuals who had an affinity for paintings as well...Richter and Vince. Yusuke was showing Richter and Vince a painting he had finished, which was hanging up in the hallway.
"This painting...it speaks to me, both literally and figuratively," Yusuke said to Richter and Vince; the painting itself was really just a self-portrait of Yusuke, so no wonder it was "speaking" to him. Yusuke and company continued to look at the painting, until Mario showed up...albeit looking on the fat side. Like he was wearing a fat suit...which he was.
"Ohhhh! Bang! Boom! Say Clump!" exclaimed Mario, with each step that he took, as he spoke in a very husky voice. Yusuke and company watched as Mario made their way over to him, all weirded out. "Why hello, fine-a gentlemen!"
"Mario, what on earth are you doing?" A very, very fair question with all things considered.
"Let me tell you want I'm doing...I'm being beautiful." Mario took out some picture frames, and waddled over to the wall with them so he could hang them up. They were pictures of fat people - two fat people on a bike, Marshmallow Man from Ghostbusters, Elvis, Martin Lawrence in Big Mamma's House, Jabba the Hutt, and a fat pig.
"This is insane..." Yusuke wouldn't be that bothered by Mario hanging up the pictures...if he wasn't hanging them close to his self-portrait.
"They are-a beautiful. He is beautiful. This big fat-a pig is beautiful. Big-a Momma, she is most-a certainly beautiful."
Mario: Had to wear-a this sumo suit. Just didn't inflate it all-a the way. I am so glad that I bought-a this instead of rented.
"As you can see here, Mario is promoting body image," stated Master Hand, appearing in the hallway above Mario. "I'm forcing him to do that because there is something wrong with society."
"See, you're always saying there's something wrong with society, but...maybe there's something wrong with you," responded Richter, seeing how strange Master Hand has behaved ever since the health inspector stopped by.
"If it's me, then society made me that way. Now, I know you three are probably asking yourself, 'Why did you force Mario to dress in a plus sized suit?'"
"Because he's doing some kind of Mr. Clump impersonation," replied Vince, leaving Master Hand shook. How did the painter know?
"How do you know Mr. Clump? You must be a mind reader! Or maybe it was a lucky guess!"
"...or perhaps Mario has a name tag on his chest that plainly says, 'Mr. Clump'. It's just some caricature meant to make fun of fat people, I'm sure."
"How dare you! Mr. Clump is not a caricature - he is a celebration of fat people."
"I see him as more like...a monster?" Richter offered his two cents. "Not the kind that would hide under your bed, the kind that would sit on people."
"No, no, NO! You know what? Fat people are not monsters! Why don't you guys have a little more sensitivity to the subject. Case in point! Look at the outside of this mansion. It is ugly. But you come inside...and it is beautiful." That's not what Master Hand said, in the unseen footage from the previous episode. "Just like Mario's unappealing fat suit, and overalls. Inside is a rather handsome, sexy man."
"Master Hand I have-a to leave, it's time to feed-a Jennifer," said Mario as he glanced at his watch the best way he could. The fat suit was limiting the movement in his arms.
"No, you will stay and continue to promote body image."
"Fine-a then...I suppose Princess Peach will feed-a Jennifer instead."
"Good. Besides, she's a better feeder than you anyways. I've seen your methods...anyways, we must go and promote body image around the mansion."
When Master Hand returned to his room, he was informed by Isabelle about Sonic dropping off Wendy at a remote location in town, and having her run back to the mansion. Disgusted by this tactic, Master Hand decided to take his body image parade to the gaming room...just so he could deal with Sonic and Wendy.
"Sonic, I would like you to apologize to this beautiful, beautiful koopa for forcing her to walk in what might be considered a death march," Master Hand said to the hedgehog, with the giant hand and Mario being peacemakers. Sonic looked at Wendy, who was expecting a sincere apology.
"No way, I was helping her out!" stated Sonic - so much for that sincere apology. "She should be thanking me."
"Okay Wendy, you have to thank Sonic first." Wendy looked at Master Hand with a look of disapproval.
"Why should I have to thank him?" the female Koopaling whined, before pouting as she looked away.
"You're right, you're right. Just, Sonic...do it. Just say it, okay?"
"...I apologize for forcing you to exercise," Sonic finally apologized to Wendy, after letting out a big sigh.
"Finally, about time...Wendy, you must be exhausted from standing on those heels. Why don't you have a seat?" Wendy took a seat on the barstool she was sitting on earlier. "Let's all clap for Wendy!"
Everyone clapped for the female Koopaling, although not that many folks knew why they were clapping to begin with. Once the applause subsided, Master Hand motioned towards Mario, who had to do another Mr. Clump impersonation.
"While Mr. Clump wants to remind-a you of Master Hand's urge-a for you to lose weight, remember that this whole thing-a is about is really about being healthy," stated Mario, a la Mr. Clump, in his husky voice. "And in order to be-a healthy, you have to eat!"
"And that goes for everyone...including you, Asuka, with your liquid diet!" shouted Master Hand as he pointed at the ninja girl, who was sipping from a glass of water. Asuka drank so much water today, that it wasn't even funny. "Together, we can uplift your spirits. Asuka, I want you to stand up on your chair. Come on, stand up on your chair. Stand up, stand up, stand up."
Asuka stood up on the barstool chair she was sitting on, making sure not to fall. The ninja girl felt sheepish, having so much attention focused on her.
"Okay, I want you all to look at her," ordered Master Hand, as everyone gave their uninvited attention to Asuka. "She's a beautiful Japanese girl. Why? What makes her beautiful?"
"Everything, she's perfect," responded Cloud in the most monotone, uninterested way possible. "Was that not enough?"
"I kinda like her nails," said Wii Fit Trainer - not the male one, the female one. Don't get it twisted.
"Be more specific," ordered Master Hand, wanting the residents to be detailed in their response.
"I kinda like her fingernails." Not the kind of response Master Hand was looking for...
"I like her black thigh high socks," said Coco, as Crash eagerly nodded his head. Crash must lowkey be a zettai ryoiki fan.
"But what about her looks?" This was what Master Hand looked for the most - compliments of Asuka's looks.
"One heck of a rack..." replied Toon Link, taking careful notice of Asuka's chest. Definitely brought an awkward vibe to the gaming room.
"...what else do people like about Asuka?"
Wendy: I wonder what people like about me... *thinks* ...probably my lips.
Mario spoke with Asuka outside of the gaming room, after everyone had something nice to say to Asuka. Well, not everyone offered to speak, no matter how hard Master Hand tried to force a response out of them.
"Asuka, will you just agree to stop-a this mess and stop trying to kill-a yourself?" Mario asked the ninja girl; what Master Hand did with Asuka moments ago was quite ironic, in a way.
"I hate dieting, I hate it so much..." replied Asuka, shaking her head at the decisions she was forced to make today. "...especially doing it in the span of one day. I might get a tapeworm inside of me!"
"Look at me, Asuka!" Asuka looked at Mario, trying her best to take the plumber seriously despite his fat suit. "I want you to know-a that you are beautiful. You are truly, truly beautiful. Give-a me a hug."
"Thank you, Mario." Asuka gave Mario a hug, with Mario having to be mindful of the ninja girl's...rack.
It was time for another weigh-in, as the residents gathered together on the giant scale in the fitness center. At this point, everyone must be getting tired.
"You guys lost forty pounds!" announced Male Wii Fit, as Master Hand cheered and shook his fist in celebration. "This calls for a parade!"
"We better throw a parade!" exclaimed Sonic, before letting out a giant cheer. "Told you guys hard work pays off!" Sonic never told anyone that at all today.
"Excellent, good job!" commended Master Hand, very much pleased by the result.
Joker was back to Skyping with Makoto in the computer room, when Makoto was free from class. Pit, Kirby, and Incineroar were in the computer room as well, playing a bunch of computer games.
"So as it turns out, Morgana doesn't like drinking whole milk..." Joker spoke with Makoto, while scratching the back of his head. "...gave me a look of disapproval once I found out."
"You've already disappointed him so much," responded Makoto, seated at a table while resting her chin in the palm of her hand. Had a smirk on her face. "He can't be expecting a lot from you."
"I know, I suck..." Joker let the seething self-depreciation build up inside of him, as Pit rolled his chair over to Joker.
"Yes, yes you do," the angel told Joker, before glancing at the computer screen and waving to Makoto.
"Oh, Pit says 'Hi'." As Pit continued to wave at Makoto, Makoto waved right back, albeit faintly.
"I did not! I wasn't saying hi, I was just merely waving to Makoto." Same thing, you dummy.
"Now he is saying 'Hi' louder." Pit groaned, as he rolled his chair back to his computer.
"You finished that Jigsaw puzzle for me, right Joker?" Makoto asked the young man, who remained silent for a brief moment.
"Um...can you go to instant messaging?"
"Sure thing, whatever works best for you."
So Joker closed out of Skype, and pulled up an instant message application on the computer. After Joker logged in, Pit looked over, seeing Joker's username - JOKER5 - as well as a bunch of other usernames on the sidebar. Most likely belonging to the other Shadow Thieves. Joker typed in this message:
JOKER5: Let's meet for dinner.
"What are you writing about me?" inquired Pit, after he saw the message pop up on Joker's computer screen. Then another message appeared, under Joker's:
QUEEN12: What - today?
Then another message:
JOKER5: Yeah. We'll meet halfway. Toad will take me there via bus.
"I'm gonna tell on you for lollygagging!" Pit pointed at Joker, as Kirby and Incineroar both looked away. You probably know why.
"I'm gonna tell on you for lollygagging," Joker fired back, putting Pit in his place as the angel looked back at his computer screen. A girly dress-up game was on the computer screen...
"...aight, well played. Neither of us will tell on the other for lollygagging." Joker would ignore Pit, as a new message appeared on his screen:
QUEEN12: Where?
Joker typed away on the keyboard, and then posted the following message:
JOKER5: The gas station, where Ryuji somehow got lost in the restroom.
Then a moment later, another message:
QUEEN12: Alright. See you there. : ) P.S. I'm finally finished for the day.
Joker: *holds up an image of the girly dress-up game Pit was playing* All I can say is...thank you, print screen.
Master Hand and Mario were in the foyer, with the latter trying to get out of his fat suit. While Mario was struggling, Master Hand spoke with Wolf.
"I know it's a stretch but we could weigh ourselves again before dinner," Master hand suggested to Wolf. "Just to be on the safe side..."
"Leave it to me, Master Hand - I can get this whole mansion to lose weight, real quick," assured Wolf, before reaching for the nearby thermostat and turning it up. "It's gonna be a little toasty in here! Good old fashioned sweat lodge!"
Wolf: Wolf O'Donnell does not lose contests. He wins them...or he quits them because they are unfair.
Mario finally got out of his fat suit, exhaling in delight as he was back to his normal self again. The plumber saw Asuka walk by, eating a sushi roll.
"Hey, is that-a sushi healthy?" Mario asked Asuka, who stopped in place and looked at the plumber like a deer in headlights.
"I don't...think so," replied Asuka, backing away, before darting out of the foyer. Soon Joker arrived in the foyer, approaching Master Hand and Wolf.
"Hey, Master Hand - I'm going with Toad to see Makoto so I might be back a little late," Joker informed the giant hand, letting him know about his tardiness.
"That is fine by me," replied Master Hand, being fair and unjust for once in his existence. "Just water, for you and Toad. And Makoto. Be back in time for the weigh-in."
"Got it." But Joker planned on meeting with Makoto for dinner...will he even be back in time?
Fox was in the living room, watching television, when a certain vixen showed up. The pilot looked up, and to his surprise, he saw Krystal.
"I hate to even ask because you have been so accommodating today," Krystal said to Fox, feeling tired of her boyfriend's constant visits.
"Your wish is my command," responded Fox, as he rested his feet on the living room table.
"Is there any way we could dance to my favorite song, A Thousand Years? By Christina Perri?"
"Of course! I mean it's a great song. I always thought it was bigger than some Valentine's Day song anyway. You know?"
"I wouldn't say that it's a Valentine's Day song, but...yeah, sure."
"And you know what? The guys already know it so it's easy breezy."
"What are these guys that you speak of?" Krystal raised a very curious eyebrow.
"I found this awesome a Capella group online. They're pretty local."
"Don't know how I should feel about an a Capella group singing my favorite song..."
"I hear you, Krystal but you know what? You're gonna love these guys. Jack 1, Jack 2, Steely Dan, Prime Roast, Zeebo, Cheese Cake, and Hot Dog. Collectively, they'd make for a pretty great best man."
"Hmm...let's talk about this later," Krystal walked over to Fox, gently kissing him on the cheek and left the living room. Fox grinned, in a romantic trance, as Krystal met Falco outside of the living room, with Falco showing the vixen something out of Pandora's magazine. But what was it?
Joker and Toad were at a gas station, both waiting for Makoto. They were chilling outside the convenience store, being cool and whatnot.
Toad: Don't know why Joker told me to take the bus to this gas station, since Makoto would have to walk here...but on the plus side, Makoto will presumably lose enough weight in time for another potential weigh-in! Joker must be thinking one step ahead.
"Hey! This is not halfway!" a voice shouted out to Joker and Toad, as the two looked over and saw Makoto coming towards them. "I practically had to walk all the way here. The post office would have been closer, so you have to buy dinner."
"Uh, Makoto, I got something I need to tell you..." Joker said to the brunette, once she was standing in his presence. "I just...couldn't wait."
"Couldn't wait for what?" Bracing himself, Joker cleared his throat, ready for what he would say next.
"Makoto, I want you...to go on a date with me. Just you and me...and nobody else."
"Oh my..." Makoto was at a loss for words, cupping her hands over her mouth.
"So? Is that a yes or a no?"
"Yes!" Makoto excitedly kissed Joker, and the two would embrace each other, as Toad happily looked on. Got to witness Joker and Makoto kiss, that lucky buckaroo.
But there was another witness nearby...that witness being the health inspector from earlier. He watched Joker and Makoto kiss, before walking away after he had seen enough.
It was time for the final weigh-in, and Master Hand wanted it done before dinner. The residents gathered in the fitness center for the last time today, although one person was missing. Or multiple persons.
"Where's Joker, Makoto, and Toad?" asked Sonic, as he looked around for the three individuals.
"Hey, sorry we're late," Joker called out, as he entered the fitness center along with Makoto and Toad. The former was all smiles.
"What are you smiling about there smiley pants?" Sonic asked Makoto, who joined the others on the giant scale. "Lateness isn't worth smiling about. Take it from me!"
"Male Wii Fit, would you like to do the honors?" Master Hand asked the fitness trainer, who was about to do the final - the actual final - reading on the scale.
"Same number as before," announced Male Wii Fit, as Master Hand let out a groan. Even the residents groaned themselves. "Sorry everyone..."
"No, I don't want to hear moaning. This has been a good day. You guys accomplished something big. You lost a ton of weight, literally. A lot of weight. And I don't care what any stupid scale says. You guys are all gigantic losers." What encouraging words to live by...
Doc Louis: I don't know about anyone else. But it was a good day for me. I lost seven pounds. And you know what? I'm just gonna take five days away from the mansion anyway. Me and Little Mac!
Wolf: The whole vacation days is still on the table...right?
The health inspector was hanging out away from the mansion, likely waiting for someone. He wouldn't have to wait any longer, as Dante showed up.
"Hope you got a lot of juicy info to tell me," Dante told the heath inspector, who suspiciously took off his glasses. "So spit it out, Isaac!"
"That's Isaac Clarke to you, Dante..." replied the health inspector, whose name was...well, Isaac Clarke. Ring a bell to anyone? "...I got a little something. Joker and Makoto, from that video footage you showed us...they're an item now."
"Ha, just as I figured..." Dante grinned as he walked around, kicking a rock. "...knew those two had the hots for each other. But what about Master Hand? Did the plan work?"
"Seems like it - Master Hand practically forced the mansion residents to lose weight, the entire day! Not only did it show that Master Hand could be easily swayed...but our plan might also make some of our targets weaker."
"Aw yeah, just what I wanted to hear! I guess things are moving along smoothly, as planned. You're gonna be here in Seattle next week, right?"
"I can try, if I remember to. Dementia is really killing me...if I can't make it, you can have that guy in the diving suit go in my place. What's his name again..."
"No worries Isaac, I know who you're referring to. I could just throw in that creepy girl along with the diving suit man - just so he can have a mouthpiece."
"Sounds fair. Oh, and by the way...the name's Isaac Clarke. Say the full name next time..."
Dante and Isaac were working together, it appeared like. But what about the diving suit man, and the "creepy girl" that served as his mouthpiece? Who were they?