Author's Note:
So with Wrestlemania around the corner, and with so many people doing wrestling-related things - Rhett and Link (my favorite YouTubers), Jimmy Fallon, the list goes on - I decided to throw my hat in the ring, and do something wrestling-related. By writing a wrestling-themed chapter. For some readers, this chapter might feel too meta for you - just a fair warning. Moving on to the reviews:
"How soon will Hatsune Miku and the Vocaloids show up? Have the Babylon Rogues from Sonic Riders shown up yet? Has Yuffie gotten over her air sickness yet? Will Lucia from Devil May Cry 2 show up? (Since she was completely absent in Devil May Cry 5) and finally, do you plan to do something special for the Persona 5 cast when the Joker DLC comes out?"
Soon, hopefully. Nope. Not yet. Probably. And I'll have something planned for the Phantom Thieves, in time for the DLC's release. On to the other review, from PinkKittyRose:
"1. Did the first smashies happened before smash life started? Also, did the first one started in the Brawl era, or the Smash 4 era?
2. Can Matthew and Jenna, Isaac's son and girlfriend and/or wife, make an appearance?
3. Is the Team Rocket trio the anime version or the game version (Yellow/Let's Go version)?
4. Can we see an arc of the World of Light, not the whole adventure mode, cause, well, you know, but at least the puppets and the villains as the main villains of an arc? Maybe Galeem kidnapping the residents and turning them into his minions, and the other residents who are not kidnapped how to find out where they are and free them.
1. It was before Smash Life started, and it was from the Brawl era. Could've been the Melee era, but that's too far back...
2. I mean I could but, Isaac, in this story...is pretty young. Unless...
3. The Team Rocket trio is the game version.
4. Galeem will appear in the story some day. But will I do a World of Light arc? I...can't make any guarantees on that. Not yet, at least.
Episode 172: Wrestling
It was almost that time of the year...the time for Wrestlemania, Pit's favorite wrestling event in the whole entire world. To Pit, Wrestlemania was like a second Super Bowl - it had all the spectacle and grandeur that a typical Super Bowl had. It was where the best wrestlers shined on the big stage, in front of over 70,000 dedicated fans.
Banking in on the wrestling frenzy, Master Hand opted to host a wrestling event of his own, dubbed "Mini Wrestlemania". The giant hand had tried his hand before at wrestling, when he had his Mini Summerslam shindig in episode 87, but his experiment failed after the wrestlers he picked out - all of whom were pixelized versions of WWE wrestlers - refused to participate.
So Master Hand, not wanting to make the same mistake again, opted to reach outside of the box, and find wrestlers of his own. Wrestlers who had the strength and the bravado to carry a wrestling show on their shoulders, and give the crowd a performance of a lifetime.
"Zangief and Hugo are flying a jet plane to Seattle, as I speak," Ayaha informed the giant hand in his room, as the assistant jotted down some key notes on her clipboard. "They should be here in time for your...Mini Wrestlemania."
"Good! I expect nothing but smiling faces from them when they touch down in Seattle," responded Master Hand, the only person super stoked for tonight's wrestling event. Unless you wanna include Pit. "How's the ring coming along?"
"Little Mac and Ryu already have the ring set up in the dancing room, ready to go. They had to bring a new one in, since Cloud and Lucario discarded the old one."
"They did, did they? In that case, I'll just have to make them jobbers tonight. Gotta force them to take the pin, so they can make their opponents look strong. Would make for a great commercial break."
"Whoever said anything about having commercial breaks...you're not gonna force your way to have your stupid wrestling event aired on local TV, are you?!"
"Master Hand, Master Hand, we have dilemma!" shouted Pit, as he and Kirby ran inside Master Hand's room. "It's about that message, in the beauty salon!"
Master Hand: Pit is always super annoying whenever Wrestlemania's around the corner. He'll go nonstop quoting the wrestlers he sees on television, using their catchphrases in the cheesiest ways possible. Even worse, he uses that egregious "suck it" gesture to greet others! He does it around the mansion...and in public...
"Pit, I don't care that it took you a week to finally read that message in the beauty salon," said Master Hand, angry that he was being interrupted. "I'm well-aware that you can't read. Now if you excuse me..."
"No, Master Hand, I just couldn't find my way inside the beauty salon until now," stated Pit, defending his inability to read. "But the message I saw, you gotta see for yourself!" Pit dug into his pocket, and pulled out his cellphone and pulled up an image.
"This have better not be a waste of my time..." Master Hand floated over to Pit, so he could see the image on the angel's phone. It was an image of the incriminating message from the beauty salon - the one Zelda admitted to writing earlier.
"Well Master Hand, can you read it?" inquired Kirby, perturbed by the sudden silence Master Hand was evoking. The giant hand remained silent for more than ten seconds, which could be a new record in some instances.
"'Incineroar is a...'" Master Hand started, before he stopped reading immediately. "'Incineroar is a...'" the giant hand started reading once more, only to pause himself once more. "...Ayaha, can you read this for me?"
"Why not..." Ayaha sighed in response, as she grabbed the phone from Pit and read the incriminating message Zelda wrote. Ayaha read the entire message, as her eyes went wide. "...oh dear. That's a pretty mean thing to say!"
"That's what I'm saying, Incineroar is not like that at all!" said Pit, sticking up for his feline friend. "He's the exact opposite! And he can prove it, too!"
"Oh he can, can he?" asked Master Hand, knowing full and well that Incineroar could easily prove his might. "In that case, I should add him to the match card of my Mini Wrestlemania show. Then he can prove to everyone that he's not a...not a..."
"I think we get the point, Master Hand," said Ayaha, as she rested her hand on the giant hand, before looking at Pit and Kirby. "You boys go tell Incineroar that he's going to be a part of Master Hand's wrestling show. Also let him know that we haven't picked out his opponent yet."
"Sweet, we got Incineroar on the match card!" cheered Pit, as he and Kirby promptly left the room. "He's gonna kill it, for sure!"
Pit: Where do I rank Incineroar among the best wrestlers in the world? That's hard to say. I mean, you got CM Punk, who used to be the best in the world, but sold out to the MMA. Then you have Chris Jericho, who also used to be the best in the world, but sold out to Japan. Since nobody has the "best in the world" mantle at the moment...I'd say Incineroar's currently best in the world. That's my final answer.
The swordsman trio of Link, Champion Link, and Cloud were in the dancing room, watching Little Mac and Ryu patch together the wrestling ring. Mac and Ryu had to make sure that the ring was sturdy enough, to prevent any damage to the ring mat.
"Why is this 'Mini Wrestlemania' a thing again?" inquired Champion Link, who was understandably clueless about wrestling since such a sport hardly existed during his time period in Hyrule.
"Because Master Hand," Cloud replied curtly; it was the only right answer he could provide. "He really likes doing this kind of stuff. Have you not learned from the Smashies awards show?"
"I just thought Master Hand was a huge wrestling fan. He seems to have a ton of interests we don't know about." Maybe Master Hand really liked wrestling...or maybe he was just looking for an extra buck. "Though the locale for his show is...interesting."
"I've seen wrestling shows at high school gyms, this is nothing new," stated Link, recounting the numerous times he had seen Touma watch independent wrestling events online. "But a wrestling show in a dancing room? Eh..."
"At least there's enough room for all the spectators," remarked Cloud, as Midna showed up behind Link. The imp smiled as she tapped Link on the shoulder, making the Hylain scream and turn around.
"Ugh, why must you act so scared for?" frowned Midna, shaking her head in disapproval at Link. "It was only a light tap...wasn't like I was stabbing you or anything."
"You could've given me a warning..." replied Link, taking the time to catch his breath. Midna shook her head once more, before looking out at the wrestling ring.
"Don't tell me...Master Hand is having another meaningless sporting event, isn't he? Does that stupid hand ever learn?"
"It's Master Hand...he never learns," replied Cloud, as he stated a true statement. Perhaps the truest statement of them all. "I'd love to see his wrestling show flop..."
Like any great Samaritan, Mario and Peach always welcomed the presence of neighbors in their household. The plumber and the princess brought their neighbors Alm, Celica, and Pac-Man over to their house...just so the three could have their knitting club meeting. Ashley, Yoshi, and Toad were also there.
"I will never understand why this is even a thing," Spyro said to Hunter, who nodded in agreement, as the two friends watched the knitting club members knit away. Everyone looked happy except for Pac-Man, who was regretting some of his life decisions.
Berkut: Alm and Celica wanted to bring their knitting club buddies over to our home - my home - just so they could knit all day and discuss whatever was on their minds. But unfortunately for Alm and his wife, I have standards - knitting is beneath me. Knitting is only for women, especially those of an elderly age. Of course, I'm not at all surprised to see Alm stoop himself so low...
Pac-Man: Man, I thought moving out was an opportunity for me to get away from those knitting losers...but then I realized that Alm and Celica were my neighbors. And that they would drag me to every knitting club meeting. This is what I got for listening to my wife.
"Let them have their fun-a you two," Mario told Spyro and Hunter, as he walked by carrying a bunch of mail in his hand. "Their knitting is no different-a from that 'cat hockey' you play at the pool."
"You just don't get it, Mario - cat hockey is an art!" defended Hunter, who was evidently very passionate about this weird sport he and Spyro discovered. Spyro, mostly - Hunter just followed along.
"But is it worth-a freezing the pool, and also the cat-a Pokemon from the sanctuary?" This made Spyro and Hunter stop and think, acting like they violated some sort of Pokemon moral code. "That's-a what I thought..."
"Mario, the phone's ringing!" Toad alerted the plumber, who placed the mail on the living room table. Mario rushed over to the house phone, and quickly answered it.
"Hello?" Mario spoke into the phone; the plumber had a very glut feeling that Master Hand was calling him.
"Howdy Mario! Hopefully you aren't busy today," greeted the voice on the phone, Master Hand. Just as Mario had figured... "I'm gonna need you to do me a BIG solid today. Really big one. Can you come over?"
"Don't have to ask-a me that twice..." Mario quickly slammed the phone, as he left his house and ran to the mansion.
At the mansion, Mario met with Master Hand in his room, where the giant hand wanted to go over his plans for Mini Wrestlemania with Mario. Moreover, he wanted to give Mario a very important duty.
"You really want-a me to be the referee for-a your wrestling show?" Mario asked Master Hand, surprised that the giant hand went with him. There were other worthy candiates for a referee around the mansion, and also at the tower.
"Yeah I would've asked Knuckles, but he's probably still sour grapes after the last time," responded Master Hand, seeing how aggravated Knuckles was when Mini Summerslam was in the works. "So you're gonna replace him!"
"Okay, that's-a good and all, but do I even get my own-a striped shirt?" Ready to fulfill Mario's request, Master Hand floated to his closet, and pulled out a striped shirt - one that was conveniently Mario's size. "Why'd I even-a ask..."
"Put this shirt on, it should fit." Master Hand handed the striped shirt to Mario, who put it on. "Sorry that the lines are horizontal. I'll have to iron your black pants later, they're still pretty wrinkly."
"Anything I should probably take-a into consideration as referee?" Master Hand went to his closet once more, and pulled out a piece of paper, handing it to Mario.
"This is just general guidelines of words you can and cannot say at the wrestling event tonight. I want you to follow the guidelines very strictly - and I will expect the same from those wrestling tonight."
Mario read the guidelines very carefully, furrowing his brow at some of the provisions provided...
Guidelines for Mini Wrestlemania
Refer to the talent in the ring as superstars, NOT professional wrestlers
Refer to our promotion as SSW, NOT Super Smash Wrestling
Refer to our promotion as "the SSW", not just "SSW"
Do NOT use the term "professional wrestling" to describe our promotion - use SSW or sports entertainment instead
Do NOT call any wrestling title a belt or a strap
As Mario read the guidelines, Cappy read along with him, and both were feeling some type of way by what they had read.
"Wait, so you're having a wrestling event, called Mini Wrestlemania, but nobody is allowed to say the word wrestling?" Cappy questioned Master Hand, desiring to know the giant hand's reasoning. "That's just bonkers!"
"I have to disagree with you, Cappy my friend," said Master Hand, as Mario was left rubbing his head at what he had to read. "Besides, sports entertainment sounds tighter, and more catchy!"
"That's like having a football championship game, and forbidding the announcers to say the word 'football' during the entire broadcast. You can't do that, it just makes no sense!"
"Look here, Cappy, I'm making the rules around here, and Mario will have to abide with them. Isn't that right, Mario?" Master Hand had no idea how surprised he would be by Mario's response.
"Actually, I'm on-a Cappy's side, Master Hand," responded Mario, leaving Master Hand to gasp out of shock. "All these guidelines don't make-a any sense."
"Mario how could you...I was expecting you to be my yes man, and you do me like this? I should find myself another referee - one that will obey the guidelines that I have sent forth!"
"And what's this about-a some 'Super Smash Wrestling'? How will you even get the funds-a to have the promotion start off?"
"From the spectators that'll pay to see my wrestling show, duh! I'll jack up the prices so high, that I won't have to worry about my promotion ever going bankrupt. Gotta go in, if you know what I mean."
"I don't think having high prices for your first wrestling show is great business..." Cappy offered his two cents, only for Master Hand to point his index finger at him. "...I-I mean, great business strategy!"
Ike: Master Hand's wrestling show is bound to suck. That's not even a bold prediction - it's a fact!
Samus: Master Hand is looking into having someone perform at his wrestling show. A D-list, fake indy show. I'm not even making this up.
Gil: Master Hand claimed that if his "Mini Wrestlemania" turns out to be an actual flop, then he'll cut the cord on the television for the remainder of the month. *rubs hands together excitedly* Really looking forward to some more reading from the others!
In order to get people coming to his wrestling event, Master Hand obviously needed to promote his event around town. That's when he went to Sonic, asking the speedy blue hedgehog to post flyers about Mini Wrestlemania around Seattle. Master Hand printed the flyers out on Monday, and had Sonic post said flyers throughout the week.
"I'm sure this is perfectly legal!" remarked Sonic, as he posted a flyer on the side of a public mailbox. A mailman walked by, whistling a happy tune, when he caught Sonic posting the flyer.
"Sir, I believe that's illegal," the mailman told Sonic, who looked at the mailman in disbelief. "You can't put flyers on or in a mailbox. Unless it's stamped."
"Unless it's stamped? What, you think I'm gonna send these flyers out or something? Nah, I'm just promoting a wrestling event that's gonna be happening in town tonight, at the Smash Mansion. Mini Wrestlemania!"
"Mini Wrestlemania?" The mailman scratched his chin, unsure of what to think of the wrestling event Master Hand was planning. "First the Christmas concerts, and now this...that Master Hand never lets up."
"True dat - I'm just posting the flyers so he won't be tempted to kill me later. You should come to Mini Wrestlemania - you might be in for a surprise!"
"Who's even fighting at this Mini Wrestlemania?" Sonic handed one of the flyers to the mailman, who lifted up his glasses and read the flyer conspicuously. "Zangief vs Roman Reigns?! Isn't Roman...that guy from WWE?"
"Yep...apparently Master Hand thinks he can land Roman and a whole bunch of other WWE stars, for his wrestling event. I would tell him his chances of getting those wrestlers are slim to none, but I don't wanna get booted out of the mansion, ya know?"
"And why is Roman facing Zangief, of all people?" The mailman saw the other matches advertised on the flyer, shaking his head. "Hoo boy, these are some very random put-together matches..."
"I'll say...had no idea what I got myself into. I'm just along for the ride." Sonic walked away with his flyers, as the mailman looked at the flyer in his hand in disbelief one final time.
Mini Wrestlemania had all the makings of an absolute cracker...an absolute cracker of a mess.
Even though he wasn't told the news yet, Incineroar was in the fitness center, putting in some work. The heel Pokemon was doing squats and lifting weights, both at the same time. Pit and Kirby were standing by, waiting for Incineroar to finish his strength training.
"Looking good, Incineroar!" Akira approached the heel Pokemon, holding a towel over his shoulder, and Incineroar, out of instinct, grabbed Akira and spun him around for flinging him at a wall. Akira collided against the wall and fell to the floor, moaning in pain.
"Wow Incineroar, that was awesome!" cheered Pit, as Incineroar looked at the angel and Kirby and flashed a smile. Meanwhile, Akira was seething in pain, lying on his back with his legs up in the air.
"My...spine...I think it's been dislocated..." Akira continued to writhe in pain, as not a single soul offered to help the kung fu fighter out.
Little Mac: It's never a wise move to speak with Incineroar when he's training. If you interrupt him, you'll either get suplexed, spun around, body slammed, or chokeslammed into oblivion. Or you can be put in a bear hug, like I have. Took me an hour or two to wake up...allegedly.
"All done with your training, Incineroar?" asked Kirby, as Incineroar nodded with his hands on his hips. "Good, because Pit and I have great news to share with you!"
"It's about Master Hand's Mini Wrestlemania, the thing he's been hyping up over the week," added Pit, as Incineroar looked on with much anticipation. Anything with wrestling, Incineroar was always interested in. "Master Hand was looking for someone to add to his match card..."
"...and he was thinking about adding you!" No mention of the incriminating message about Incineroar, from either Pit nor Kirby. It was perhaps for the best, for now.
"So Incineroar, are you interested?" As Pit and Kirby expected from the very beginning, Incineroar was on board, as he flashed a smile and a thumbs up. "Cool, we'll leave you alone and let you get ready. Go and make us proud!"
As Pit and Kirby left the fitness center, Incineroar headed to the treadmill, ready to do some aerobic exercises. The heel Pokemon had to be at the top of his game, if he wanted to impress at Mini Wrestlemania.
"You think we should've told him about that message in the beauty salon?" Pit asked Kirby, as the two friends departed from the fitness center.
"We can just tell him after the Mini Wrestlemania's over with," suggested Kirby. The two friends could afford to wait till then.
As specified in the flyer, WWE superstar Roman Reigns, for whatever reason, was a featured wrestler at Mini Wrestlemania. But little did the brawlers know that Roman was only one of a couple of superstars that were intended to appear at tonight's wrestling event. Master Hand didn't want any pixelized wrestlers...no, he wanted the real deal.
The giant hand went to the teleportation room, where Volnutt was, and showed Volnutt the list of WWE superstars he wanted for his wrestling event. Volnutt read the entire list, up and down and down and up...
"No," the robot responded flatly, before handing the list of superstars back to Master Hand. Clearly the robot didn't feel like wasting his time.
"What do you mean, by no?" questioned Master Hand; if Volnutt wouldn't use the teleportation device to nab the WWE superstars, then Master Hand would have to do it himself. "Is the teleportation device not working? Is it down again?"
"Master Hand, I'm not gonna bring a bunch of WWE wrestlers to the mansion for your stupid event. I'm sure they're busy signing autographs for the fans, as I speak. We can't disturb them."
"They're called superstars, Volnutt, not wrestlers...and how do you know they're signing autographs right now? You know exactly what the superstars are up to? You follow them around?"
"Well even if they aren't busy, I know for a fact that the wrestlers...erm, superstars, want nothing to do with you, or your Mini Wrestlemania. Is having Hugo and Zangief not enough for you?"
"Good news, Master Hand - King just arrived in Seattle from Mexico!" alerted Isabelle, as she happily walked inside the teleportation room. Who was this King, and why was he from Mexico? Ring a bell? "He should be on his way shortly!"
"Isabelle, do you know if the teleportation device is operating?" Master Hand asked his doggy assistant, as Volnutt conspicuously eyed Master Hand.
"The device should be up and running. Mega Man and his robot buddies would tell me otherwise if the device isn't working."
"Oh is that so? In that case...Volnutt, I command you to bring the WWE superstars to the mansion, at once!" Master Hand pointed at Volnutt, who was scared of what to do. Should he do as Master Hand says, or rebel against him and risk punishment?
"Master Hand I thought you said you learned your lesson, from last time. You promised that you wouldn't have any WWE superstars at Mini Wrestlemania! We can do without them."
"I guess you didn't hear me that well, sweet Isabelle...I said I didn't want pixelized WWE superstars at my wrestling event. The pixelized wrestlers were too hard to influence, in my opinion. I should expect different results from the real ones!"
"But that wouldn't even make a difference if...oh dear..." Unable to deal with Master Hand anymore, Isabelle left the premises, leaving poor Volnutt alone to deal with Master Hand himself.
"Now, Volnutt, we can do things the easy way...or the hard way. Use that teleportation device to bring me my wrestlers, or I'll have to make you my new personal microwave!"
Isabelle: Master Hand has gone completely in over his head, just as I feared. Only Mario would know how to tame him.
Mario was in the living room with Cappy, wearing his referee shirt and his now ironed black pants. The plumber looked like a professional wrestling referee, with a matching mustache and hair.
"I love how Master Hand never went over the guidelines of, you know, being an actual referee," Cappy discussed with Mario, who was seemingly waiting on further instruction from Master Hand. "He was more concerned about silly buzz words!"
"I probably won't do-a much, other than doing pin-a falls and count-outs," said Mario, believing that refereeing wrestling matches would be easy. "Not much I can-a do, as a professional wrestling referee."
"Mario! I've been told that you'd be refereeing the matches at Master Hand's wrestling event tonight," Corrin approached the plumber, holding something in his hand. "Therefore, I wanted to give you...this." The prince held out the item to Mario, who looked at said item curiously.
"Corrin...that's a whistle." A whistle it was, indeed...but for whatever reason, Corrin thought that Mario would be incomplete without it.
"Great observation. Every great referee, no matter the sport, deserves a whistle to manage the chaos. Wrestling is a very chaotic sport, and it would take a great peacemaker like you to calm things down!"
"Is professional wrestling really a sport?" Cappy asked Mario out of curiosity, as Mario walked away from Corrin. Couldn't deal with the prince's nonsense.
"Let's not start-a that debate, Cappy," Mario responded sternly, as he left the living room...only to run into Isabelle. Isabelle sure was glad to see the plumber.
"Oh, sir Mario, thank goodness I found you!" the shih tzu exclaimed, leading Mario to wonder what was going on. "Master Hand is back to his old tricks again...he's trying to grab some wrestlers from WWE to fight at his show tonight."
"But I thought-a he said..." Mario stomped his foot as he looked into the distance; he should've known Master Hand would go beyond his limit. "Mama mia...the nerve-a of him! Where is-a he?"
Isabelle took Mario to the teleportation room, but to her and Mario's chagrin, Master Hand was nowhere to be found. The only individual they saw was Volnutt, who was on the floor writhing in pain.
"Volnutt!" exclaimed Mario, as he and Isabelle ran over to the robot. The plumber helped Volnutt up, allowing the robot to sit upright. "What happened? Where's-a Master Hand?"
"I told Master Hand I wasn't sending those wrestlers to the mansion, so he pounded me with his fist and left," explained Volnutt, as he rubbed his now aching head. "He's gonna ask Samus or one of the robots to work the teleportation device."
"Is this the list-a of wrestlers he wants?" Mario saw a list lying on the floor, and picked it up as he read the names. All the names were too familiar to the plumber. "Why is he so-a thirsty for the WWE superstars, I wonder..."
Vince loved to paint, and he loved to share his painting with the other denizens of the Assist Tower. The painter usually did this by painting portraits of his fellow assist characters, often receiving high remarks. Vince was painting a portrait of Tingle, in the lobby area.
"Make sure you get my glutes," advised Tingle, who was striking a very magnificent pose. One that would make any fairy queen smile with joy. "And don't forget about my cheekbones! They're an important feature!"
"I promise not to miss a single detail!" promised Vince, as he painted away like his life depended on it. He continued to paint, as Fox walked down the stairs, grinning like the happiest man on earth.
"Guess who found out that their girlfriend's favorite cake is chocolate cake?" Fox asked Vince and Tingle, before proudly pointing his thumbs at himself. "This guy! Up top!" Fox gave himself a high-five; such a vain thing to do.
"Um...congratulations?" was all Vince could say, as neither he nor Tingle knew how to respond to Fox's accomplishment. If you even wanna call it that.
Fox: In order for the after-party of my wedding with Krystal to be on point, I have to know what her favorite things are. Her favorite songs, her favorite cake, her favorite conga line, et cetera. I'll have to put her favorites ahead of mine, all in the name of making her happy. To you guys, you might think it's stupid...but for me, it's the ultimate sacrifice.
"Isn't Krystal's favorite cake something you should've known by now?" asked Tingle, as Fox looked at the wannabe fairy with a hasty glare. Making him feel some type of way about his boyfriend status. "What took you so long?"
"Well how was I supposed to know that Krystal eats cake?" retorted Fox, sounding slightly insecure. The gall of Tingle to put him on the spot like that. "I just had to make sure that she was a cake person."
"I've known Krystal much less than you have, and even I know she eats cake," stated Vince, as Fox gave the painter the same look he gave to Tingle. "Finding out such things so late is not good!"
"Alright, lemme make myself clear...I knew Krystal eats cake, I just wanted to know what her favorite cake was. Because I'm sure she eats all different kinds of cakes, amirite?"
"She only eats chocolate cake, as far as I've concerned." Fox snapped his fingers in disgust; how did Vince know Krystal better than Fox did?
Someone rung the doorbell, and Fox, using his trademark speed, ran to the front door. The pilot opened up the door, and saw two youngins on the doorstep - a dog and a bear. They were both wearing black hoods and black pants, with the hoods over their heads.
"Wassup fool?!" the dog greeted Fox, throwing down some fake gang signs. "The name's Pa...Pa..." The dog seemingly forgot his name, making his smooth introduction turn south in a snap. "...the name's Parry! Parry the Platypus...I mean, dog! Yeah, Parry the Dog!"
"And I'm...uh..." the bear was about to introduce himself, but even he forgot his name too. Must be a bad day for forgetting your own name. "...you know what, you can just call me Cherry."
"Sounds like a girl name, but I'll take it," shrugged Fox, as Cherry the bear let out a sigh of relief. "So, what brings you kids to the tower?"
"Oh snap, this isn't the tower?" exclaimed Parry, before angrily looking at Cherry. "I thought you said this was the Smash Mansion!"
"I'm not really into architecture, to be honest," responded Cherry, although his excuse wasn't enough to win over Parry. "I still have a hard time telling the difference between a mobile home and a trailer!"
"They're the same thing, ya dingus...and they have NOTHING to do with architecture." Parry returned his attention to Fox, leaving Cherry alone to bask in his own ignorance and shame. "You mean to tell us that the mansion is that big building next door?"
"I thought it was obvious which building...was the mansion," replied Fox, eyeing around; in his head, the pilot probably assumed that Parry and Cherry were the dumbest duo of friends to have ever existed.
"Boy do we feel stupid today! Thanks for letting us know, hopefully we didn't blow you away with how stupid we were."
"Nah man, you're fine, you're fine...but why did you wanna come to the mansion in the first place? Got a friend you wanna see?"
"Nope, even better!" exclaimed Cherry, as he pulled out a flyer and handed it to Fox. It was a Mini Wrestlemania flyer. "Parry and I were thinking about having a musical performance at that Mini Wrestlemania joint tonight."
"Is a musical performance...even necessary?" Obviously Fox never watched the past few Wrestlemanias to figure out the answer himself.
"Probably not, but they still have someone perform at Wrestlemania every year. So I think this Mini Wrestlemania is due for some kind of performance."
"Well...I'm not gonna stop you kids from trying. Go out there and make yourselves proud!" Fox handed the flyer back to Cherry, who placed the flyer back in his imaginary pocket.
"We're gonna kill it out there, just you wait and see!" guaranteed Parry, as Fox closed the front door. Fox didn't know why, but he felt like he knew that dog and bear somehow...their faces seemed familiar to the pilot.
Parry: Oh yeah baby, we're gonna get turnt at Mini Wrestlemania! Everybody gonna be poppin' off, and havin' a good time! Ain't that right, Cherry?
Cherry: One hundred percent - we're gonna tear the place down! Those wrestlers won't even hold a candle to us!
Parry: That's right, Cherry, you tell him! *looks around, before leaning in close to the camera* ...truth be told, we're not really looking forward to performing at the Mini Wrestlemania tonight. It's...it's a little complicated.
Cherry: *leans in close to the camera, whispering* We're secret agents.
Parry: Hush man, you can't tell them that. They might snitch on us!
Cherry: You right, you right... *nods head, as he pulls away from the camera*
Following their rather...suspicious talking head segment, the duo of Parry and Cherry went to the front door of the mansion, standing on the porch. Certainly they would have better luck getting in than Charlemagne and his "harem" did.
"Sucks that we have to do this, man..." groaned Parry, who had to stand on Cherry's shoulders just to reach the door. The dog rang the doorbell, and hopped off of Cherry. Nobody answered the door, after many seconds passed.
"Try knocking on the door," suggested Cherry, as Parry stroked his chin in thought. "Do some kind of fancy knock combination, like a beat - the more complex it is, the more likely someone will answer the door!"
"Yeah, nice strategy!" Parry did some kind of fancy knock combination on the door, like he was recreating a hip hop beat he heard on the radio. The strategy would seem to work, as Chrom answered the door.
"Took a longer time than I expected..." yawned Chrom, stretching his arms; the doorbell likely woke the prince up from his afternoon nap. "...ah, no matter. Hello, children, what can I do for you?"
"Wassup fool, I'm Parry, and this here is my G, my main man, Cherry!" Parry introduced himself and Cherry to Chrom, with Cherry mildly waving. Chrom found the introduction rather amusing. "Mini Wrestlemania is gonna be here, right?"
"Yes, it is indeed held here, in the mansion. Weird venue for a wrestling event, I know, but giving Master Hand good suggestions...never works out that well."
"Master Hand, a.k.a. the owner of the mansion and Mini Wrestlemania promoter?" asked Cherry, as Chrom nodded his head. "Is he home? We need to speak with him - we wanna perform tonight, at Mini Wrestlemania!"
"Isn't that cute...appreciate the determination, boys, but you two will get creamed by whoever's on the match card. Don't think Master Hand is looking for jobbers at his wrestling event."
"Nah, not performing as in like wrestling," clarified Parry, wishing that Cherry was a bit more specific. "We mean performing...in a musical sense. We wanna have a musical performance, at Mini Wrestlemania!"
"Oh is that so? Shoehorning a musical gig into Mini Wrestlemania does sound like it's right up Master Hand's alley. I'll let you boys have a word with Master Hand...once he's done pestering with the others."
By "others", Chrom was specifically referring to Samus and the robots. Having asked each and every robot he could find, only to be turned down, Master Hand went to his final hope...Samus, who was NOT in the workshop, surprisingly, but rather in the cafe.
"Whaddaya mean, you can't do it?" Master Hand questioned Samus, who was trying to ignore the giant hand while on her tablet. "What's stopping you?"
"My conscience and reasoning," replied Samus, scrolling down the page on her tablet with her stylus. "I'm not gonna feed your stupid wrestling fever dream, Master Hand - no ands, ifs, or buts."
"But think about the starving wrestling fans in the Seattle metropolitan area - they want to see a great wrestling show, don't they? Show some heart, Samus!"
"I'm pretty sure they can watch some local independent shows or something instead." The fact that Samus even had the gall to mention independent wrestling shows made Master Hand gasp deeply.
"You DARE speak of such evil in my presence?!" Clearly to Master Hand, any independent wrestling show or promotion was like the Devil. "My Mini Wrestlemania will be far better than anything the indies can whip up!"
"Indies do their shows at gyms and unused arenas; you plan on doing your wrestling show in a freaking room used for dance rehearsal. I don't think anything else needs to be said."
Samus: The amount of grandeur Master Hand has been living in lately has been concerning. He constantly thinks that his stupid Mini Wrestlemania will sell out, and he practically forces Isabelle and Ayaha to agree with him. It's like Master Hand is living inside this bubble...if only his assistants had the stones to pop it.
"Oh yeah? Well how about this..." said Master Hand, ready to make a command, as Samus sighed and rolled her eyes. "...either you get me the wrestlers that I want, or you're never allowed in the workshop again!"
"Who are you supposed to be, my parents?" scoffed Samus, who was never fazed by the discipline Master Hand exerted - or at least tried to exert - on her. "News flash, Master Hand - my parents died a long time ago. So how about you..."
"Do as I say or you'll never see your Power Suit again." This trick worked - Samus valued that Power Suit of hers like it was her child. Not wanting to go down the path she was on, Samus instead looked for some leeway.
"How about this - why don't I go around town, and find some dudes who look like the wrestlers you want specifically?"
"You think it'll work? What if the crowd sees it through, and notices that there's impersonators in my ring? What will I do then?"
"People are stupid nowadays...and I know that from experience. They won't even notice a thing!"
"Well in that case...I just might have to agree with you." Master Hand floated away from Samus, finally leaving the bounty hunter alone. "I'll be back so I can give you a list of wrestlers. Bring the people you find to my room, so I can inspect them."
"Got it all under control," Samus assured Master Hand, giving him a thumbs up. Master Hand didn't notice it, but Samus had a slight smirk on her face...
Athough Master Hand was willing to sell his soul just to get people to come to Mini Wrestlemania, there were a few select individuals in the mansion who were willing to check out the wrestling event. One of those individuals was Ryuji, who was roping Joker into coming.
"So, how about it?" a grinning Ryuji asked Joker in the gaming room, resting his elbow on his best friend's shoulder. "Got nothing going on tonight, do ya?"
"I don't know...I'm not really a wrestling fan," replied Joker, irking Ryuji with his response. Ryuji needed at least one friend to tag along, and he couldn't depend on the other Shadow Thieves.
"Better late than never, amirite? You're gonna love it, I can just already tell! The spectacle and aura will draw you in!" Joker looked down to his left on the couch he was sitting on, and saw a Mini Wrestlemania flyer.
"Is this the wrestling show?" Joker picked up the flyer, as he and Ryuji looked at it together. "So many names on the match card...wait, Roman Reigns...?"
"For real?! Aw man, not Roman!" frowned Ryuji, burying his face in his hands like he had just failed a final exam. "I hate that guy so much! He's on the TV screen, all the time! Makes me sick..."
"Hmm, according to this flyer, Roman will be fighting Zangief for the SSW World Championship. Whatever SSW means." The thought of Roman fighting in any title much was enough to trigger Ryuji even more, as the delinquent fell down on one knee and facepalmed.
Joker: I'm assuming this world title match is a one-off. Assuming that Roman somehow shows up in the mansion. Unless Master Hand found a believable lookalike...
"Hey Ryuji, what's the matter?" Robin asked the delinquent as he walked by. "Joker told you a bad joke?" Ryuji slowly rose up to his feet, still feeling some type of way about Roman.
"No it's just...it's just that some wrestler I don't like is fighting for a world title at Master Hand's wrestling show," replied Ryuji, giving Robin perhaps the dumbest excuse anyone could have for not watching wrestling.
"Who is this wrestler that you don't like? I'm sure you have plenty of disliked wrestlers on your personal list."
"It's Roman Reigns...ya know, that Samoan guy, who was in that commercial on TV. Cousin of The Rock, has long jet black hair..."
"Yeah, I know who you're talking about! But why would you want to hate on the man? He beat leukemia, for crying out loud...show him some respect!"
"Show him respect? Ha! Just because he beat leukemia doesn't mean anything. Roman could literally end world hunger and poverty with the snap of his fingers, and I still wouldn't be a fan of his!"
"Why not hate on those who book Roman, instead of hating Roman himself?" Joker suggested to Ryuji, who scoffed at his friend's suggestion. Ryuji knew better than to blame WWE; there was something about Roman that made him so disliked.
"Hating on the bookmakers would imply that I hate WWE - which, quite frankly, I do not. I just want my favorite wrestlers to be pushed and have championship opportunities, that's all! Isn't that so hard to ask?"
"Like anyone would ever listen to you..." Joker muttered under his breath, as he took a sip of from his coffee.
With Master Hand giving the list of wrestlers to Samus, the giant hand returned to his room, so he could consult with Isabelle...or anyone who was near the door. On his way there, he saw Falco, who was too busy noodling around on his phone to pay attention to where he was walking.
"This dress looks pretty nice..." Falco said to himself, before bumping into Master Hand. Though he really didn't bump into him...he just ran into his index finger. Felt like a giant poke to his chest.
"Do I need to give you a teenage girl prep talk on cellphones, mister?!" Master Hand asked Falco, who was quick to shake his head. "What's so important on your phone that you can't pay attention to where you're walking?"
"I was, uh, looking at dresses." Falco showed Master Hand the dress he was looking at on his phone, and Master Hand had every reason to judge Falco. "I'm looking for a dress, for Krystal."
"So you're cheating on your girlfriend with your best friend's girlfriend? Not gonna lie, that sounds messed up in context...but you could actually go somewhere with that kind of stuff."
"No, Master Hand, it doesn't mean that I have feelings for Krystal...I'm just helping her find a wedding dress, for when she gets married to Fox."
Falco: Don't think Fox wanted me to tell Master Hand about the marriage...but Master Hand probably knows it's coming.
"Let the woman find a wedding dress herself!" said Master Hand, as he floated away from Falco. "You're not her her best woman. Why hasn't there ever been a best woman...must be a thing in different cultures."
Master Hand continued on his merry way, soon reaching his room. There, he saw Chrom standing by with the two guests, Parry and Berry. The dog and the bear were having a beatbox battle.
"They've been doing this since forever," Chrom told Master Hand, already tired of the beatboxing. "Please, I beg of you, make them stop..."
"Who even are they?" asked Master Hand, as Parry was dominating Cherry in the beatboxing battle. "They look like a bunch of thug children."
"Look alive, you two...it's Master Hand." Chrom nudged both Parry and Cherry, ending their beatboxing and having them look up at Master Hand. "Parry, Cherry, this is Master Hand. Master Hand, this is Parry and Cherry."
"What's good, Master Hand?" Parry greeted the giant hand, throwing down some gang signs.
"It's nice to meet you," greeted Cherry, with his more mellow - and probably deadpan - greeting.
"Don't know why, but something about these two seems suspicious..." remarked Master Hand, making Parry and Cherry feel nervous and scared for their lives. "So, what brings you boys to my mansion?"
"We heard about your Mini Wrestlemania thing, from the flyers posted around town," explained Parry, making Master Hand delighted. "And Cherry and I were saying, 'Man, what if Mini Wrestlemania had a musical performance? Like the big one WWE hosts?"
"We never said that," Cherry pointed out, leading Parry to frown and punch his friend in the side of his arm. "Uh, I mean, yeah, we wanna perform at your show tonight! It'll be a dream come true!"
"I've never thought about having a musical performance, but any standard Wrestlemania would feel incomplete without one, I suppose. You boys are in!" Parry and Cherry cheered, as they exchanged a high five. "But on one condition...what are your talents?"
"I like to throw down some bars, do a little freestylin'!" replied Parry, making a pose a gangsta rapper would be proud of.
"And I can throw down some phat beats on the turntables," added Cherry, who...just...stood there. Where was his cool pose?!
"Excellent! Good thing for you, Cherry, I have a hippie dog who owns a turntable. I'll ask him and see if he'll let you use it. As for you, Parry, you got any lines?"
"Oh yeah, I've been writing them before I got here!" Parry didn't say that with that much confidence, and a lack of confidence was a big no-no for any rapper. "Can't let you see 'em, since they're a little special..."
"No, no, I understand. You boys go wait in the foyer until the Mini Wrestlemania starts." So Parry and Cherry ran to the foyer, leaving Chrom alone with Master Hand.
"Anything I can help you with, Master Hand?" Chrom asked the giant hand, who was creeping in on the prince. Master Hand loved to violate people's personal space.
"I have a little job for you to do at the wrestling show tonight. It'll be a three-man job. I'll explain the details, once I gather the other two..."
Master Hand gathered Chrom, Akuma, and King Dedede in his room, so he could discuss their roles for Mini Wrestlemania with them. Roles that neither of the three were ready for.
"Hold on...you want us to be wrestling commentators?!" exclaimed Chrom, after he was told the news. The prince's inexperience with wrestling will obviously doom him from the start. "But why?"
"Because someone's gonna have to call Mini Wrestlemania," replied Master Hand, explaining as if Chrom was dumber than a pile of rocks. "Especially once I get it airing on TV. Lakitu's getting that part taken care of."
Lakitu: Master Hand promised he'll take the fall for me if I get in trouble for hacking the local television station. What a guy!
Chrom: I can't be a wrestling commentator, I don't even watch wrestling! Why can't I just commentate a sport that's actually entertaining and fun to watch? Like cricket?
"Yeah baby, I always wanted to be a wrestling commentator!" gleamed King Dedede, excitedly rubbing his hands together. Don't lie to yourself, you fat penguin. "I'd love to be the heel commentator!"
"Sorry Dedede, but Akuma is the heel commentator," stated Master Hand, making King Dedede sigh as Akuma smirked at the fat penguin. "You'll be the perverted commentator that ogles the women. Chrom will be the play-by-play guy."
"Should be easier said than done," said Chrom, who knew that would do an underwhelming job as a commentator. Master Hand gave the prince an earpiece. "What's this earpiece for?" Chrom asked.
"You'll use that earpiece to listen to Sonic; he'll tell you what to say, so you won't screw up on the job. I've let him see the Mini Wrestlemania match card and filled him in on what's going on, so you'll be good to go!"
"Chrom having an earpiece sounds a little too micromanaging to me," Akuma offered his two cents, as he folded his arms. "Can't trust Chrom to call a few matches on his own?"
"The earpiece is also to let Chrom know what catchphrases he should say for each wrestler...I-I mean, superstar. Phew...now will someone get Yashiro for me? I might make him the ring announcer..."
Wario sat in his room, feeling disgusted, as he looked at the Mini Wrestlemania flyer. So many big names on the flyer...but Wario-Man was nowhere to be found. In Wario's strong opinion, Wario-Man was more than just a superhero - he was also a capable fighter, when given the chance. And Wario wanted that chance to happen, at Mini Wrestlemania.
"All these bums on the match card..." grumbled Wario, as he tossed the flyer unto the floor in a petty manner. "...Wario-Man would pummel all of 'em!"
"Let go of my lab coat, you vermin, I just washed it!" Cortex yelled at Crash, entering the room with Uka while pulling on his lab coat. Crash held unto the other end of the lab coat with his teeth, as Cortex managed to pull his lab coat away from the bandicoot.
"Dr. Cortex, what is your honest opinion on Wario-Man?" Wario asked the evil genius, who slammed the bedroom door just in time before Crash came rushing in. A loud noise was heard, as Crash banged his head against the door.
"I can't really say, I seldom see him in action. But why do you care? You're not comparing Wario-Man to other superheroes again, are you?"
"Nope, already stopped that...I agreed that Wario-Man is superior to any superhero in any comic book universe." You could never knock on Wario for not having too much pride. "I just want Wario-Man to show off his stuff, at Mini Wrestlemania!"
"Why is he talking about Wario-Man, like he's a completely separate person...?" Uka whispered to Cortex, who obviously didn't know how alter egos usually worked.
"If you're so in your feelings about it, then why don't you beg to Master Hand about it?" suggested Cortex, leading Wario to stroke his chin in thought. "If you annoy him enough, he'll put you on the match card!"
"You know, that's actually not a bad idea..." replied Wario, smiling to himself in thought. Cortex also smiled...but for a different reason.
Cortex: It's a blessing in disguise...Wario gets pummeled at Mini Wrestlemania, and then I'll have the room to myself! *laughs evilly* Or at least until Wario is released from the hospital.
Master Hand asked Yashiro if he wanted to be a ring announcer, and to the giant hand's delight, the idol singer obliged! As you would imagine, Yashiro was hardly a wrestling fan; he just wanted to wear a fancy suit in the ring.
"Thanks for the opportunity, Master Hand," Yashiro thanked the giant hand, speaking with him in the foyer. "I promise you I won't make a single mistake! My performance will be spotless!"
"Yeah, that's the attitude!" exclaimed Master Hand, giving Yashiro a thumbs up. "I'll give you the billing information, once the wrestlers get here." Suddenly, the doorbell rang. "Ooh, that must be them!"a b
The ever excitable Master Hand and Yashiro headed to the front door, where Yashiro opened the front door. Standing at the doorstep was a big, muscular luchador, with a golden cape and a tiger mask on his face.
"Ah, the King...welcome," Master Hand greeted the luchador, who bowed to the giant hand. As a form of respect - not because he was kissing up to Master Hand. Don't get it twisted. "Come in, come in!"
"Master Hand!" someone shouted from outside; it was Zangief, who got out of B.D. Joe's taxi. Lord knows how B.D. Joe was able to squeeze Zangief in. "So good to see you again. I am really looking forward to..."
"AAAAIIIIEEEE I can't believe we're gonna be on a wrestling pay-per-view!" squealed a blonde, pig-tailed woman, as she happily leaped out of the taxi. It was Rainbow Mika, better known as R. Mika - Zangief's lady friend.
"It's not a pay-per-view, Mika...it's just a wrestling indy show. Or something like that. Did you not read the text message? Also, you're not even on the card!"
"You know I can't read when I get super excited. I just wanted to come along, and support you." R. Mika cooled down, as she and Zangief walked up the porch and entered the mansion, where they saw Master Hand. Yashiro...he was just ignored.
"Dobriy den', Zangief," Master Hand greeted the wrestler in Russian, shaking Zangief's hand with his index finger. As the handshake continued, R. Mika looked at Master Hand, with a crazy smile on her face.
"OMG Master Hand!" the blonde squealed, jumping into Master Hand and sending him to the floor as she embraced him with a hug. "Ooh, you're even softer than I've ever imagined!"
"This...is why...you were never invited to that Street Fighter party we had," Zangief told R. Mika, struggling to pry the blonde off of Master Hand. But he would get her off, eventually.
"You mean the one that had the white jumpsuit guys and the edgy silver-haired boy with the dark cloak on? Way to leave me out on the fun!"
"I see someone must've told you about the party..." Zangief looked away angrily, wondering who the culprit was. "That Cammy...such a snitch," the Russian said to himself quietly.
"I believe you're forgetting someone, Master Hand..."
Alarmed by this female voice, Master Hand and the others directed their attention to the front door, where they saw another Street Fighter veteran...Hugo. But the response didn't come from him; rather, it came from the pink-haired woman, standing next to him. Poison.
"Ah, Hugo, about time you made your arrival!" Master Hand said to the wrestler, before looking at Poison. He was feeling some type of way about her clothes...or the lack thereof. "Poison...I don't think I invited you."
"I'm Hugo's manager - wherever he goes, I follow," stated Poison, showing that she meant business by showing off her whip. "And as Hugo's manager, I'm always looking for what's best for him..."
"What do you mean by that? Are you trying to make an offer? What do you want? Food? Money? Free back massages? What do you want, woman?!"
"What I want...is a tag team partner for Hugo." Master Hand couldn't do that, he couldn't change the match card on the fly. "Someone that can hang in the ring with him. Isn't that right, Hugo?"
"Yeah, give me the best tag team partner ya got, Master Hand!" demanded Hugo. But little did he know, Master Hand wasn't gonna be bossed around that way.
"Now you look here, you two, you're not just gonna waltz in here and demand a tag team partner!" Master Hand laid the business down on Hugo and Poison. "Why would I even make a tag team match for? Will it make me money?"
"I'm pretty sure any match will make you money..." responded Poison as she eyed around the foyer, not understanding Master Hand's rationale.
"I want a tag team partner, NOW!" Hugo went on a tantrum, stomping his feet and banging on his chest. He was acting like a little child, and Poison couldn't do anything to calm him down.
"Excuse me, did someone say...tag team partner?" a voice asked, as Master Hand turned around and saw Wario. Not just Wario - Wario-Man, the alter ego of the fatso himself. Standing proudly, with his cape flying in the wind...with a fan behind him.
"Ooh, is that the famous Wario-Man?" Hugo excitedly pointed at Wario-Man, like he knew the superhero from somewhere. "Can he be my tag team partner, Master Hand? Pretty please?"
"Well, Master Hand, what do you say?" Poison asked the giant hand; she didn't want Wario-Man, but Hugo was excited about Wario-Man, so that's what mattered most of all.
"Eh...I don't see any harm done," Master Hand sighed out of defeat, as Hugo cheered and raised his fists. A last-minute change was added to the match card for Mini Wrestlemania...that being said, who would Hugo and Wario-Man face?
B.D. Joe stood outside, shaking his head at his taxi...his damaged taxi. Thanks to the likes of Zangief and company, the taxi was stretched out, with some of the metal parts sticking out. It was a good thing B.D. Joe had enough funds for repairs.
"Just got a new paint job the other day..." groaned B.D. Joe, looking down at the ground in defeat. "...those losers owe me one." Suddenly someone tapped B.D. Joe on the shoulder, making the taxi driver scream and jump around.
"B.D. Joe, relax - it's me, Samus," said the person standing behind B.D. Joe, Samus. B.D. grinned, as he took a breather. "Sorry I scared you like that."
Samus: Master Hand told me that the match card has been changed, and gave me the name of the tag team he wanted. Time to get back to work...
"Shoot, I thought it was another angry customer!" remarked B.D. Joe, as he rubbed his forehead and laughed. "Last one nearly knocked me out cold. So what's good, Samus? Need a ride?"
"Why would I need a ride for, when I can just fly in my Gunship?" questioned Samus, making B.D. Joe feel dumb for asking an ignorant question. "Anyways, I need you to be a 'volunteer' for the wrestling show Master Hand's got planned."
"Sure, I'd be happy to help! What am I gonna do? Do I get to be a referee? Or am I the cameraman? I'd love to be the cameraman!"
"Actually, none of those...follow me, and I'll explain to you and Doc Louis what you have to do." What does Doc have to do with B.D. Joe's "volunteering"?
Pit and Kirby were both sorely convinced that Incineroar would dominate at Mini Wrestlemania, and that the heel Pokemon could prove he's more than whatever Zelda wrote about him on the beauty salon wall. Incineroar winning would give Pit and Kirby (but mostly Pit) the most vindication they've ever had.
"I'm so pumped for tonight, Kirby!" Pit told his best friend, as he and Kirby walked through the hallway. "Incineroar will prove to everyone why he's number..."
Pit soon came to a stop when he passed by Master Hand's room, for he heard some discussion coming from behind the bedroom door. Pit pressed his ear against the door, and Kirby too, despite not having a physical ear, as they listened to what was being discussed.
"Are you REALLY Roman Reigns?" asked Master Hand, in a very skeptical tone. "Because you look a little bit bigger in person than you do on TV..."
"Ah yes sir, I'm the real deal, and you can believe that!" assured Reigns, although his voice sounded off. Sounded a tad nasally, even. "This is gonna be MY yard!"
"Well...I'm convinced. Thank you, Miss Aran, for securing these wrestlers for me. I know for a fact that Mini Wrestlemania will be a show to remember!"
"Is it just me or did Roman sound...off?" Kirby asked Pit, who shrugged in response.
It was now evening time, which meant it was time for Mini Wrestlemania to start. A large crowd was in attendance at the dancing room, as many wrestling fans were gathered in one accord after paying big bucks for admission. A hundred bucks was a pretty high price for a wrestling event of this caliber.
"Surprised by the turnout tonight," remarked Cloud, sitting a in folding chair like everyone else, with his pals Link and Champion Link. The three swordsman were only in attendance, just to see how much of a failure Mini Wrestlemania could be.
"Sonic must've went ham posting those flyers around town," assumed Link, just as surprised as Cloud was. "Then again, if you put names like Roman Reigns and John Cena on your flyer..."
"John Cena?!" frowned an eavesdropping Ryuji, who was also in attendance for tonight's event. Managed to rope Joker into coming, as his best friend was seated next to him. "John Cena's wrestling too?"
"Link did say that he was on the flyer..." replied Joker, as Ryuji grabbed the hairs on his head and pulled on them out of anger. Two wrestlers he didn't like were gonna be here tonight...why did the delinquent even come for?!
Ryuji: Feel pretty bad for whoever has to fight against Cena...they're gonna have to make him look really strong. Career homicide is what I call it!
As the door to the dancing room closed, Chrom, King Dedede, and Akuma put on their headsets, sitting at the announcer's table a short distance from the ring. Parry and Cherry were hanging out near K.K. Slider's turntables, with Cherry ready to play some wrestling theme songs. Mario and Yashiro - the latter adorned in a black suit - went to go speak with Master Hand, who was hanging out in the back with Sonic, unseen.
"Mind-a if we see the match-a card for tonight?" Mario asked Master Hand and Sonic, wanting to know who was wrestling. Every referee has to be in the know.
"Here's the newly updated match card," Sonic handed a card - the match card to Mario, as Mario and Yashiro looked at the card together. The match card was as followed:
The Undertaker vs Incineroar
The New Day vs Hugo and Wario-Man for the SSW Tag Team Championship
John Cena vs King for the SSW European United States Intercontinental Championship
Roman Reigns vs Zangief for the SSW Universal World Heavyweight Championship
"I tried to nab WWE superstars that casual, non-wrestling fans would know," Master Hand explained to Mario and Yashiro, who were generally concerned by some of the fancy title names. "I should add a women's match to the card, as the main event...you know, to make the women feel special."
"I'd say leave it as it is," suggested Yashiro, as Mario nodded his head in agreement.
Samus: Did I do as Master Hand told me to do, and get the wrestlers he wanted? Yes... *smirks* ...and no.
It was now 7 o' clock...time for the Mini Wrestlemania to start. Yashiro stood in the ring with Mario, as Chrom was ready to start commentating.
"Welcome everyone, to the first ever, Mini Wrestlemania!" commentated Chrom, sitting in front of a camera provided by Lakitu. "I'm Chrom, joined by my partners Akuma and King Dedede. So gentlemen, what are you looking for tonight?"
"You know what I'm looking for?" asked King Dedede, smiling profusely from ear to ear. "PUPPIES!"
"...I'm looking for a good, clean fight," replied Akuma, miffed by how committed Dedede was to his commentary act. "With a few underhanded tactics..."
Yashiro stood in the center of the ring, seeing the wrestling fans around them. Many of them were cheering, and yelling, and the like. Quite a rowdy crowd. The bell rung by Sonic, indicating the start of the first match.
The first wrestler to come out through the tunnel...erm, the dancing room entrance...was Incineroar. Pit and Kirby, who were seated at the front, cheered for the heel Pokemon, who postured for the crowd as Cherry played some generic music fitting for Incineroar.
"Introducing first...from the Alola region, weighing in at 183 pounds...Incineroar!" Yashiro spoke into his microphone, as the crowd went crazy for Incineroar.
"Undertaker should be coming out any minute," Kirby told Pit, as Incineroar entered the ring and struck a few more poses for the crowd. "Wonder if it's the real Undertaker, and not some..."
Suddenly the lights went out, as a gong sound was heard. The crowd instantly went nuts, as another gong sound was heard. Then, some lightning effects. After that, smoke appeared, from a smoke machine. Then, entering in the dancing room...was the Undertaker!
"His opponent...from Death Valley, weighing in at 309 pounds...the Undertaker!" announced Yashiro. But something about the Undertaker was a bit...off.
"Wait a minute, that Undertaker's a fake!" someone shouted, as the Undertaker's theme played. The person was right - the "Undertaker" was really just Magnus, dressed up as the wrestler himself. Magnus coolly walked to the ring, taking forever and staying in-character as the crowd jeered and booed him.
"They're booing the Undertaker, how can that be?" questioned Master Hand, thinking that the spectators were stupid beyond description. "No one boos the Undertaker!"
As Magnus entered the ring to finish his entrance, the lights came back on as the boos and jeers grew. The match started as the bell rang. Magnus and Incineroar stood toe-to-toe in the ring, all up in each other's grill...
...but out of nowhere, Magnus poked Incineroar in the chest. The poke was strong enough to send Incineroar crashing to the mat, as the heel Pokemon was out cold. Magnus quickly went for the pin.
"One, two, THREE!" Mario did the three count. "Ring-a the bell!" The bell rang, as Magnus got up, relishing in his victory as the crowd booed. Pit and Kirby looked stunned, like they had seen a ghost.
"I don't believe it folks...the Undertaker defeated Incineroar, in less than half a minute!" commentated Chrom, saying what Sonic was telling him to say. "This is unbelievable! Incineroar, down for the count, just like that!"
"By a finger poke, no less!" added Akuma, shocked by the result of the match. He was expecting a hard-fought match, but got the exact opposite. "This match truly brings Incineroar down a peg."
"...N-Nani?" stammered Pit, clearly at an extreme loss of words. His feline friend, having lost to a discount Undertaker just like that...
Zelda: I still feel bad about the message I wrote about Incineroar. Should I go apologize?
While the Mini Wrestlemania crowd was busy booing and jeering Magnus, Zelda was in the beauty salon, trying to get rid of the message she wrote on the wall about Incineroar. She was using a sponge to wipe the message off.
"You need any assistance, Princess Zelda?" Felica asked the princess, as she and Flora were doing some maid duties around the beauty salon.
"No thank you, I got it all covered," assured Zelda, scrubbing the sponge against the wall with all her might. As she did this, Midna flew inside the beauty salon, needing to speak with Zelda.
"Princess Zelda, do you have a minute to spare?" the imp asked, looking like she needed to show Zelda something important. "There's someone outside..."
"No, Midna, that'll have to wait. I'm a little busy at the moment. Can you just wait until I'm done?"
"But you have to come, and see for yourself!" Midna grabbed Zelda's hand, making the princess drop the sponge to the floor as she took Zelda out of the beauty salon. With Zelda gone, Flora crept over to the wall, to look at the message Zelda had wrote.
"'Incineroar is a...'" Flora tried to make out the letters on the wall, before cocking her head to the side. Her eyes went wide in an instant. "...oh my goodness."
The next match on the card was John Cena vs King. It was a kendo stick on a pole match - make of that what you will.
"This match is one-fall, and it's for the SSW European United States Intercontinental Championship!" announced Yashiro; quite a mouthful for the idol singer to say. "It is a kendo stick on a pole match!"
"You hear that right folks, kendo stick on a pole match," commentated Chrom, who couldn't believe the things he was saying. "The premise of the match is simple - grab the kendo stick from the pole, and...well, just beat the crap out of your opponents with it!"
"I love to see a good old-fashioned beatdown with weapons," added Akuma, who seemed to have a flair for no-disqualification wrestling matches. "Bring it on!"
The first wrestler to come out through the tunnel was John Cena...who was actually Guile, wearing an oversized shirt, jorts, and a baseball cap. With Cena's iconic theme song playing, Guile did his best Cena impersonation as he came down the ring; given his stoic nature, it was hard to tell if he was miserable or not.
"From West Newbury, Massachusetts...weighing in at 251 pounds...JOOOOOOHN CEEEEEENAAAAA!" shouted Yashiro - you know he had to ham it up for this one. The crowd booed Guile, knowing he was a fake.
"Guile, you may only be posing as Cena, but I hate you for obliging to do this!" jeered Ryuji who, like everyone else but Master Hand, saw through the disguises. "John Cena sucks! John Cena sucks! John Cena sucks!"
"You sure are hard to please..." Joker shook his head at Ryuji, wondering how a so-called wrestling fan could be so negative.
"Good thing he came in just for free," Champion Link said to Link and Cloud, talking about Ryuji. "Otherwise that $100 would've been a waste..."
Once Guile entered the ring, he took off his t-shirt, throwing it into the crowd. He then took off his cap...revealing hair that resembled of Cena's box cut.
Guile: Samus made me shave off much of my hair, and dye it brown...there better be a big payoff for this.
Ashley: *sighs deepy* I promised myself I wouldn't have to make another hair potion...let alone another potion, in general.
Now it was time for King to make his entrance, as Cherry played a Latino tune from the turntables. King came out from the tunnel, the crowd cheering him on as he majestically walked down the ring.
"From Mexico, weighing in at 188 pounds...King!" announced Yashiro, as King entered the ring. He stood on one of the turnbuckles, and posed for the crowd.
The bell rang, and it was time for the match to begin. Acting fast, King ran to the turnbuckle with the pole, and climbed up said pole to grab the kendo stick. With the weapon in his possession, the luchador intimidated Guile, chasing him out of the ring and around the ring before the two got back in the ring. Soon enough, King had Guile cornered, with the kendo stick.
"Uh oh, it looks like he's gonna do it!" grinned Akuma, ready for the inevitable beatdown. But for some reason, King was showing some hesitation.
"Hmm, it appears that King doesn't know how to use that kendo stick..." commentated Chrom, seeing how unfamiliar King was when it came to using weapons. Taking advantage of King's hesitation, Guile tackled King to the mat, and snatched the kendo stick before using it to beat King senselessly.
"He's got the kendo stick, he's got the kendo stick!" shouted King Dedede, as the crowd booed Guile to oblivion. "How the tide has changed!" Guile continued the kendo stick beating for another minute, before using Cena's finisher on King and going on for the pin.
"One, two, THREE!" Mario did the three count. "Ring-a the bell!" Guile got up and raised his fists in the air, as the crowd continued to boo.
"You still suck, you still suck, you still suck!" Ryuji jeered at Guile, as Mario handed Guile his title belt. John Cena, or Guile, is now your SSW European United...let's just stick with SSW European champion, since it's shorter.
"How come the WWE 'superstars' get to win?" pondered Cloud, seeing something wrong with how the Mini Wrestlemania was booked. "Something's off..."
Midna was at the roof of the mansion, waiting on Zelda to come. The imp looked out at the horizon, feeling impatient.
"Today would be nice, Princess Zelda!" Midna shouted down the staircase that was connected to the mansion roof.
"One moment, Midna - Falco wants me to look at this wedding dress, for whatever reason," Zelda called out, leading Midna to groan.
"We will now have our musical performance, from tonight's guest," announced Yashiro, with Mini Wrestlemania at the halfway point. "Everyone give it up for the one and only...Parry the Dog!"
Parry stood at the the front of the dancing room, as a spotlight was shone on the dog. Berry played a phat beat from the turntables, giving Parry the cue. Parry nodded his head, getting into the rhythm.
"Kick, punch, kick punch...block, turn around, kick block!" Parry rapped for the crowd, as the spectators were unsure of what to make of the lyrics. "Block, kick, kick punch...punch punch block, turn around!"
The phat beat died down, as Parry stopped rapping. At first, the crowd was silent...and then, everyone was booing and tossing stuff at Parry, who ran away from the onslaught of items thrown at him.
Parry: No fair, that rap worked wonders on Robot Chicken! Then again, it IS Robot Chicken...
"Why did those lyrics sound oddly familiar..." wondered Master Hand; apparently this bothered him more than Magnus and Guile getting away by posing as big-name wrestlers. It bothered him to the core. "That feeling I had about Parry and Cherry...it's back again."
"Maybe you're just in your feelings," assumed Sonic, as the booing died down. Parry might never perform in front of a crowd ever again, after tonight.
Midna waited patiently for Zelda, who finally joined the imp at the mansion roof.
"Sorry I kept you waiting," Zelda apologized to Midna, who was looking at the princess with a scowl. "Did I keep you waiting long?"
"Did you get the binoculars from Mega Man, as I told you to do?" asked Midna, before Zelda hurriedly went back inside the mansion. Midna sighed.
It was now time for the tag team title match, with Hugo and Wario-Man going up against the New Day. Who exactly were portraying the New Day?
"IT'S A NEW DAY, YES IT IS!" the New Day theme started playing, as Doc Louis and B.D. Joe came out of the tunnel. B.D. Joe, wearing blue wrestling tights, did some kind of clap dance as he headed to the ring, while Doc Louis, wearing a blue singlet, happily tossed pancakes to the crowd.
"We're getting sick and tired of these posers!" someone jeered, as the boos and jeers kept coming. Didn't stop B.D. Joe and Doc Louis from being positive...though it could be that they were faking it.
"First up...the New Day!" announced Yashiro, amid the heavy boos and jeers. Nobody told Yashiro the billing information on the New Day, so the idol singer had to keep it short and sweet.
Doc Louis: You gotta admit...this singlet looks real nice on me, don't it?
B.D. Joe: I'm not really that physical - haven't done much physical activity since my high school days - so I'm just gonna sit back and let Doc Louis do all the work.
Once B.D. Joe and Doc Louis finished their entrance, it was Hugo and Wario-Man's time to shine. Cherry played some German dance music, as Hugo came out of the tunnel, carrying Wario-Man on his shoulder. Poison accompanied the two.
"And their opponents...Hugo and Wario-Man!" announced Yashiro. Hugo reached the ring, and gently placed Wario-Man inside of it, as Wario-Man posed for the crowd. Hugo also got in, and posed as well. Compared to the upbeat B.D. Joe and Doc Louis, Hugo and Wario-Man received far better reception.
The bell rang, and Hugo and Doc Louis were the first ones in the ring. Hugo ran to Doc Louis and put him in a rest hold. Doc would break out of the rest hold...before putting Hugo in a rest hold of his own! The two fighters exchanged rest holds, making the match very boring.
"This lack of offense is extremely appalling," remarked Poison, letting out a yawn as King tagged in his partner, Wario-Man. Wario-Man entered the ring, and did the same thing Hugo was doing...nothing but rest holds.
"Such a great, intense match folks," commentated Chrom, with a strong tint of sarcasm in his voice. "What do you mean, I'm not allowed to use sarcasm while commentating? Sonic, I will..." Chrom soon caught himself, realizing he was still on air. "Um...please ignore that, folks!"
Having enough of the rest holds, Doc Louis tagged in B.D. Joe, letting the taxi driver enter the ring. But after Joe was tagged in...Wario-Man tagged in Hugo! B.D. Joe gulped, as he looked at the massive Hugo.
"This is gonna be an easy picking..." Hugo cracked his knuckles, as he eyed his prey. The wrestler walked over to B.D. Joe, who quickly grabbed Hugo's leg, making him fall down. B.D. Joe then put Hugo's leg in a submission move of sorts...
...and seconds later, Hugo tapped out! Hugo tapped out, despite B.D. Joe not applying any pressure at all to his leg.
"He tapped-a out, ring the bell!" shouted Mario, as the bell rung. Doc Louis got in the ring with B.D. Joe, celebrating with the taxi driver as Mario handed the two men their title belts.
"Any of you guys sensing a pattern going on here?" Cloud asked Link and Champion Link, seeing how the previous matches have turned out. "Almost like Master Hand's got some major bias going on..."
Zelda returned to the roof, this time with the binoculars. The ones you have seen Mega Man use.
"Alright, I got the binoculars, just like you said," Zelda said to Midna, holding the binoculars in her hand. "What do you want me to look at?"
"Stand at the edge of the roof, and look out ahead," instructed Midna, as Zelda stood at the edge of the roof, trying not to fall off. "See if you can spot anyone remotely suspicious." Zelda looked through the binoculars, when she saw someone.
"I see...I see a man wearing a diving suit, with a little girl next to him." Zelda saw someone else - someone that made her furrow her brow. "Is that..."
Now it was time for the world title match...Roman Reigns vs Zangief. First to come out of the tunnel was Zangief, flexing his muscles as he walked down to the ring while a USSR-centric theme song played.
"From Russia, standing in at 7 feet and weighing in at 400 pounds...Zangief!" announced Yashiro, as the crowd cheered for Zangief. R. Mika accompanied Zangief to the ring, blowing kisses to the spectators.
Then Roman Reigns' theme music hit, as the big dog himself came out of the tunnel. It was actually Waluigi, wearing a long black-haired wig and a black bodysuit. His arms were muscular - almost like he was wearing fake arms. The crowd booed Waluigi to oblivion.
"From Pensacola, Florida, weighing in at 265 pounds...Roman Reigns!" announced Yashiro, as Waluigi entered the ring. For some reason, the lanky man liked being booed and jeered at. Probably because of who he was portraying.
"Ladies and gentlemen, here he is...the Big Dog!" commentated Chrom - no doubt he was forced to say that line.
"Screw the Big Dog, where are the puppies?!" asked King Dedede, before his eyes set upon R. Mika. "There goes one right there! Come to papa!"
"Heel, boy, heel..." Akuma said to King Dedede like he was a dog. Nothing about Dedede's commentary amused the fighter.
"I'll be outside if you need me..." Ryuji told Joker, as he got up and left the dancing room, sick to his stomach.
Joker: Mini Wrestlemania seems to be almost over, and it's not even 7:30 yet. I'm expecting lots of unhappy customers.
The match bell rang, and Zangief got a lot of offense in. The Russian beat up Waluigi - punching him, kicking him, giving him clotheslines, Irish whipping him into the turnbuckles, so on and so forth. For the first few minutes of the match, it seemed like all was lost for Waluigi...
...then out of nowhere, SUPERMAN PUNCH! Waluigi magically came alive, leaping into the air and punching Zangief in the face and sending him down to the mat. The lanky man then got in the corner of the ring, all pumped up.
"UUUURRAAAAH!" yelled Waluigi, making his battle cry, as Zangief slowly got up on his feet...only to be tackled by Waluigi. (Waluigi didn't have that much strength, so Zangief had to go down on his own). Waluigi quickly went for the pin.
"One, two, THREE!" Mario did the three count, while the crowd booed the loudest they have ever booed. "Ring-a the bell!" Mario quickly grabbed the title belt and handed it to Waluigi, as the boos increased in loudness.
"What happened?" asked Ryuji as he returned to the dancing room. One look at Waluigi holding his title belt up high was enough to make Ryuji turn around and leave the room for good.
"Ha ha, I'm number one baby!" cheered Waluigi, showing off his title belt to everyone booing him. "I'm not a good guy, I'm not a bad guy...I'm THE guy! I'm the champ! Best in the world!"
"Welp, that match confirmed my fears," said Cloud, as he got up and walked away. "Let's go, you guys," he said to Link and Champion Link, who followed Cloud out of the dancing room.
"I cannot believe Incineroar went down just like that..." Kirby said to a despondent Pit, who got up out of his seat and walked away. "...Pit? Where are you going?"
Master Hand: Mini Wrestlemania was a success! The main goal of the show was to prove to everyone that WWE wrestlers were superior to any wrestler in the world, and the wrestlers I've selected did great working towards said goal. Hopefully the spectators look past their booing and jeering, and realize the narrative that was obviously playing in front of them.
Samus: I gotta hand it to them...the five I selected were able to get by Master Hand! Gotta hand it to Master Hand, for not seeing them through - his delusion must've clouded his vision today.
Zangief: Master Hand forced us to lose to those WWE posers, just so he could prove how "superior" that dumb WWE to anything else! But was it worth the hush money he gave us? *shrugs* I suppose...
Master Hand: That's weird, none of the wrestlers gathered in the teleportation room so they can return to New Jersey...did they fly a plane back to MetLife Stadium?
With Mini Wrestlemania having ended, Link went looking for Zelda. He would find his girlfriend on the roof of the mansion, with Midna.
"Hey Zelda, what are you looking at?" Link asked the princess, who was still looking through her binoculars. Zelda looked behind her, spotting her boyfriend.
"Come and get a look of this, Link," the princess said to the Hylian, handing him the binoculars. She pointed at which direction Link was to look at, as Link looked through the binoculars.
"Look at that, it's the diving suit guy Mega Man spoke about! The little girl is with him, too. And the guy standing with them is..." Seeing who the third person was, Link lowered his binoculars, having a thousand mile stare on his face. "Hoo boy..."
Parry and Cherry had a fun time at Mini Wrestlemania; while Parry got booed off the stage, Cherry got the chance to throw down some phat beats on the turntables...and he came away with a little souvenir.
"You think the others would want to check out this record?" Cherry asked Parry, holding up a record as the two were walking through the woods. "Stole it from K.K. Slider, after I returned his turntables."
"There might be some juicy stuff on that thing, so it's worth checking out!" replied Parry, as he and Cherry were looking for someone. "Man, where are they? We were supposed to meet in the woods, right?"
"I think we're supposed to meet them near the woods...wait, I see them! Just up ahead!"
Parry and Cherry pressed forward, as he managed to get out of the woods and away from the trees. They encountered two individuals - Mr. Bubbles and the Little Sister, from two episodes ago. But there was someone else with them...
"Ah, about time you boys made it back. Was worried I had to make the Big Daddy and Little Sister go on a little rescue mission. You've been gone for who knows how long, thought you were goners!"
The third individual stepped forward - it was a white guy, with brown hair, a blue shirt, and khaki pants. He had a gun holster around his waist, which let you know that he was all about that action.
"Sorry for showing up late, Mr. Drake," apologized Parry...hold up, Mr. Drake? "That Master Hand held us over!"
"Yeah, but it was totally worth it," said Cherry, holding up the record. "I think you're really gonna like this, Nathan."
Mr. Drake...Nathan...put those two together and you get...Nathan Drake. Famed treasure hunter, and All-Star Manor resident.
"Heh, this record better be worth all the trouble you boys went through," smirked Nathan, as he took the record from Cherry. "Might even use it against the mansion...oh, and you boys can take your hoodies off."
So Parry and Cherry took off their hoodies, tossing them to the ground. It was worth noting the friends' appearances...Cherry wasn't anything special, since he was just a bear with no clothes, but Parry? He had an orange beanie over his head. And he was a dog. Which meant one thing...
...Parry and Cherry was PaRappa the Rapper and PJ Berri all along! It was no wonder Master Hand felt uneasy about the two the entire. He essentially an All-Star veteran in PaRappa in the mansion, along with his best friend PJ!
"Aw yeah, this show's just getting started!" exclaimed PaRappa, as he kicked and punched in excitement. Nathan couldn't help but chuckle at the dog's excitability, as he looked at the record in his hand.
It might only be a record, but for Nathan and company, it was only just the beginning...