Author's Note:
We finally did it, boys and girls...we finally got a 4th of July chapter! I didn't anticipate the 4th of July falling on a Thursday this year, but it did. Since this is a usual holiday chapter, don't expect TOO much plot advancement and whatnot...but there still are some reviews for me to answer:
"Did the Neptunia chapter get cancelled or something? Will the God Eater characters show up when the Switch port of God Eater 3 comes out on July 12? Is Tawna going to reconcile with Crash? (Since she dumped him for Pinstripe Potoroo) will Chick and Stew return for future chapters? Has there been a scene of Chrom interacting with Alm yet? And finally, has Dark Pit patched things up with Flora or is he gonna start to date Lilith?"
I...totally forgot about the Neptunia chapter. So for the time being, it'll be cancelled. The God Eater characters will show up...if I remember to put them in the story, that is. Tawna will reconcile with Crash. Chick and Stew will return in a chapter or two. No scene of Chrom interacting with Alm yet. And Dark Pit has already patched things up with Flora. On to El Pollo Campero:
"1. Is there gonna be a special Links awakening chapter ( with Baby Link and all?)
2. Where is my guy Gooigi?"
1. There will be a chapter based around Link's Awakening.
2. Gooigi will be appearing in the Luigi's Mansion chapter I'm planning.
PinkRose4452, as always, has some questions for me:
"1. Will Banjo's sister, Tooty, Gruntilda (Banjo and Kazooie's enemy) and Mumbo Jumbo make an appearance?
2. Will there be a Pokemon Masters chapter?"
1. All those characters you've mentioned will make an appearance.
2. I'll figure out what to do with Pokemon Masters, once I learn more info about it.
And would you look at that GreaterDoomerUKI has questions as well:
"1) If smash bros ultimate is really ultimate, they are going to add an indie rep right?
2) With banjo being the first western IP character in smash, anybody is possible right?
3) When will this arc end and when will the next one be?"
1) As cool as having an indie rep in Smash would be...I sadly don't think it'll ever happen.
2) Still got my fingers crossed for Crash.
3) The current arc will end sometime next month, with the next arc starting afterwards.
Sioresov's got questions for me, too! We're on a roll!
"1.) Do you play any MMOs? If you do, whats your user?
2.) Can steve become a resident of the mansion- somehow?
3.) Can there be a chapter where MH and CH go on Vay-kay and then there is a power struggle?
4.) Can there be a episode where someone has a tank?"
1.) Haven't played an MMO since Wizard 101.
2.) If there is a Mii costume of Steve in Smash, then he'll be a resident.
3.) Master Hand hasn't been on a vacation in a while...I can make it happen.
4.) Guile would be the perfect character for that, honestly.
Episode 185: Independence
It has truly been a long time coming, but for the first time in Smash Life history, it finally happened...today marked the FIRST time that the documentary crew would get to showcase the Smash residents, celebrating the 4th of July. For years, many have waited for the opportunity to see the residents celebrating the holiday, and now that time had finally arrived.
After all those years, longing to record footage of the residents having a cookout and enjoying the sun on Memorial Day, the dreams and wishes of the documentary crew came true when the 4th of July fell on a Thursday of this year. And not wanting the opportunity to go to waste, the producers of Smash Life made sure they were at the mansion site, to capture footage of what promised to be a spectacular 4th of July celebration.
As expected, the grill master that would be in charge of the 4th of July cookout was none other than Lucario, who has certainly lived up to and surpassed expectations as a grill master in the past. The aura Pokemon, wearing his grill apron, was at the grill right now, flipping burger patties and whatnot.
"Hey Lucario, where should I put the potato salad at?" Raven asked the aura Pokemon, who cringed when he saw the mage's bowl of potato salad. Not only did the salad have raisins in it, but it also didn't look seasoned either! Disgusting.
"You can put the bowl at the picnic table, with all the other food," replied Lucario, as Raven walked over to the picnic table. There she found all sorts of food, such as potato chips, deviled eggs, corn on the cob, and pie. Guile was standing by the picnic table, analyzing the food.
"You don't look like your normal self, Guile," Raven said to the major, noticing how visibly sad he was despite his normal stoic visage. "Is there something wrong?"
"Being at this cookout...made me realize something..." answered Guile, trying his best not to shed a tear. Gotta protect his manliness. "I'm an American...living in the land of the free..."
"...okay?" Raven eyed around the surrounding area, wondering what point Guile was trying to make. "And what does that have to do with anything?"
"Here in America...I'm a free man...I am always free..." Guile's eyes were tearing up a little, but no tear was shed.
"...I think you need some serious help." Raven placed her bowl of unseasoned potato salad on the picnic table, before walking away. Partly out of caution.
Guile: It's such a shame that I'm the only person at this mansion that takes Independence Day seriously. Yes, I call it Independence Day, that's the American way. I call it like it is. But frankly, I don't blame the others...not like any of them were born in America anyways. The Mario Bros are from Italy, I believe, and Marth and his fellow swordsmen all hail from make-believe countries. They don't have to celebrate Independence Day if they have to - they can come to the cookout just for the food. Freeloaders!
Little did Guile know that contrary to what he believed, the Mario Bros actually do celebrate the 4th of July. In fact, Mario was wearing his "USA" threads right now, as he walked over to the picnic table.
"Like-a my threads, Guile?" the plumber asked the major, who wiped away his eyes to hide any sign of weakness. "You gotta admit, I look great-a in red, white, and blue! Huh, huh?"
"Yes, Mario, I wholeheartedly approve!" replied Guile, giving Mario a thumbs up seal of approval. "To think this whole time, I thought you were just some filthy Italian who didn't know any better."
"I'm just...gonna let that one slide." Mario looked at the picnic table, observing all the food options at hand, before Master Hand magically appeared.
"Wearing your golfing attire for the holiday, I see..." the giant hand said to Mario, as he observed the plumber's clothes. "...very nice choice! You'll have no problem being at the cookout wearing that."
"Whaddaya mean by that?" Cappy perked up, his eyes appearing out of Mario's golf hat. "Does this 4th of July cookout have a dress code policy?
"Of course it does! I'm requiring everyone in attendance to wear red, white, and blue at the cookout. Otherwise, you won't get any food!"
"Hmm, that doesn't seem that fair to me. What if you're a naked animal, and you can't wear clothes? Or refuse to wear clothes?"
"Then no food for you! This is America, for crying out loud - either you abide by the rules, or get out!" Master Hand floated away, leading Mario, Cappy, and Guile to question his dress code policy.
"Master Hand!" Lucario called out to the giant hand, calling him over as he was flipping the burger patties. "I've been meaning to ask you, how many people are coming to the cookout?"
"Yes," replied Master Hand, after Lucario flipped the last burger patty. Lucario was very much dumbfounded by the giant hand's answer.
"You see, I have to approximate how many food I'm putting on the grill, to compensate for everyone. That being said, I need an exact number of..."
"Did you hear what I said? The answer, is 'yes'." Frowning slightly, Lucario put his spatula on the grill, as he backed away from Master Hand.
"Oh no...oh no...don't tell me you invited a whole legion of people to the cookout..." The more people that were present, the more Lucario had to cook.
"I wouldn't say it's a whole legion...look, it's not gonna be like some sit-in diner, where people just walk in and eat away and take all the food. I had to be very particular with the guest list, mind you."
"Uh huh...and how many guests did you invite to the cookout?"
"Master Hand! Lucario! Guess what - the best Pokemon trainer around is back in town!"
Lucario groaned, fearing for the worst as he turned around and saw Blue, having arrived at the mansion along with his grandpa Professor Oak. The younger Oak was smiling and waving to Lucario, who begrudgingly waved back.
"Like I said, I have to be very particular with the guest list," restated Master Hand, as Lucario gave the giant hand a distasteful glare.
Lucario: Typical Master Hand...inviting people for the sake of inviting people. Thinking that doing so would help with his good reputation. He thinks it's all good now...let's just wait and see till a food fight breaks out.
Lucario looked past the Oaks, and his eyes widened when he saw a couple of other guests arriving at the mansion. B.D. Joe, Jimmy P, Team Chaotix...seeing that many people already gave Lucario a precursor of what was to come.
"I have to admit, the guest list this year is pretty long compared to last year's 4th of July," said Master Hand, as he and Lucario watched the aforementioned guests showing up at the mansion's front yard.
"It's because you knew that the cameras would be rolling this time around, isn't it?" Lucario questioned Master Hand, who whistled innocently as he floated away. The aura Pokemon let out a sigh. "Wonder if those guests have to adhere to the dress code..."
Thanks to the dress code Master Hand established, the mansion residents were scrambling to find clothes suitable for the cookout. Some residents weren't in that much of a rush, such as Joker and Ryuji. The two best friends were hanging out in the living room, watching some baseball on television.
"So they're gonna show this baseball crap all day, huh?" moaned Ryuji, slumped back in the couch. He was already bored from the baseball game, and they just got finished with singing the national anthem!
"Well baseball is America's pastime..." stated Joker, as Ryuji looked up at the ceiling and yawned. Joker took out his cellphone, to check the time. "...not like they're gonna have a football game or anything in the summer."
"They play football up in Canada around this time of the year...I'd much rather watch that instead!" Ryuji looked down, looking at his shorts. "So, Joker, what are you wearing to the cookout?"
"I'll think of something soon." Judging by Joker's response, the young man couldn't care less about missing out on some cookout food. "If I find some denim pants and red sneakers to go with my jacket and t-shirt, I'll be fine."
"Ahem," someone standing at the living room entrance said, grabbing Joker and Ryuji's attention. It was Ann, who was wearing some jeggings with colors of red, white, and blue. "...what do you guys think of my all-American jeggings?"
"Ah, of course Ann wouldn't have any problem wearing something patriotic...she's a quarter American already!" Ryuji slumped back even more on the couch, before letting out a sigh. "At this rate, I'll never get to taste those delicious burgers and hot dogs..."
"You know, I have some American shorts just for you," Ann winked at Ryuji, who looked at the smiling blonde with a heavy frown. "They fit you perfectly!"
"I beg to differ..." Ryuji got up from the couch, heading over to the kitchen. "...guess it's just nothing but ramen noodles for me. The microwave kind."
"He sure is feeling salty today..." Ann had this to say after Ryuji left, before noticing the available spot on the living room couch. Ann sat in the spot, next to Joker.
"What are the odds that Shovel Knight will bring Makoto with him to the cookout?" Joker asked Ann out of curiosity. Ann thought over her answer for a bit, twirling around with her pigtail.
"Considering that Shovel Knight is all about royalty, and that the 4th of July is an American thing..." mused Ann, as Joker patiently tapped his right knee with his index finger. "...I'd say the chances are pretty low."
"I can't believe I've let Shovel Knight fiddle around with Makoto for so long...I've got to do something to rescue Makoto from that fiend."
Ann: Joker won't ever admit it on camera, but Shovel Knight flirting with Makoto has taken a bit of a toll on him. He wants to save Makoto from Shovel Knight's crutches, but feels helpless in doing so. It has even gotten to the point where Joker has nearly lost Yusuke's respect. Usually, the only way to lose Yusuke's respect is by comparing him or his artistic skill to Squidward.
Mega Man sat on the rooftop of the mansion, on roof patrol even on a holiday. The robot was looking through his binoculars, watching as the guests arrived.
"Is it just me, or will we have more people at our 4th of July cookout than usual?" Mega Man asked the buddy cops - Toon Link and Young Link - who were also on the roof, on the lookout.
"Master Hand is just doing it for the cameras, that's all," replied Toon Link, looking through his small telescope. "Which is a pretty baller move, if you know what you're doing."
"FRENCHMEN SPOTTED AT THREE O'CLOCK!" Young Link alerted Toon Link, as he pointed down at a group of four individuals. Toon Link looked through his telescope, and gasped in horror when he saw the four in full focus - Rayman, Globox, Barbara, and Teensie.
"Dear Hylia..." the Hylian lowered the telescope from his face, looking like he had witness a murder scene unfold before his very eyes. "...it's a French invasion, on Independence Day! La Resistance! They must be stopped!"
"La Resistance?" questioned Mega Man, before looking down and seeing Rayman and friends. "Come on, it's not because Rayman and pals are of French origin, is it?"
"Name me at least two people from France who openly celebrate an American holiday, like Independence Day." Knowing that the odds were against him, Mega Man chose to remain silent. "Exactly. We have invaders afoot!"
"It's a good thing aliens didn't come to attack, amirite?" Young Link said to Toon Link, who put his small telescope away. "We'll be right back, Mega Man...gonna teach La Resistance a lesson in America!"
"Guys, they're not..." Mega Man tried to say to the buddy cops, but it was too late as Young Link and Toon Link already returned to the inside of the mansion. Mega Man sighed, as he quickly returned to his duties.
Fox felt like he was living on cloud nine, having proposed to Krystal in the previous episode. It was also after the proposal that Fox made his plans known to the others to depart from the earth with Krystal, and return to Sauria where Krystal's mother was. It was still quite a shock that Krystal's mother was alive, having survived the destruction of her home planet.
Expecting this 4th of July to be Fox's last one as an inhabitant of Earth, Falco wanted to make this 4th of July a very special one for his best buddy. For his plan to work, the avian pilot enlisted in the help of Peppy and Slippy, to get the job done.
"Seven fireworks, please," Falco said to a shop vendor at a shady fireworks shop. It was only shady, because the shop was inside some old and rusty mobile shop truck van. "Keep the change."
"May I interest you boys in...some freeze pops?" the shop vendor asked Falco and company, placing a bunch of freeze pops on the counter. All of which were pretty monotone colors .
"Nah, we just want the fireworks." Falco would have to change his tune in a snap, when the shop vendor dug into his pocket to pull out a weapon of some sort. "I mean, we'll take all the freeze pops you got!"
"Excellent choice..." The shop vendor took his hand out of his pocket, as he went to a fridge inside his truck man. He then pulled out some freeze pops - which were all in liquid form - as Peppy looked at Falco with a concerned look.
Falco: There were a whole lot of surprises surrounding Fox's proposal to Krystal and all. Surprised that Krystal didn't say no. Surprised that Fox didn't stumble his lines, or have another panic attack. Surprised that Wario even bought a wedding ring. I thought for sure that Wario would've never came through.
Peppy: Being the old man that I am, I've already missed my window of opportunity to find love...so I'll just have to find my sense of romantic enjoyment from watching my Star Fox mates entwining with their loved ones. Save for Slippy, obviously - he has zero chance finding love.
Slippy: Asked Peppy when I would find a love interest, and he said it wouldn't be for an eternity. An eternity's like twenty years, right? I think I can wait that long.
Having bought the fireworks...and the freeze pops...Falco, Peppy, and Slippy returned to the Arwings, ready to head back to the mansion. Falco placed the fireworks in his Arwings, while Slippy held unto the freeze pops.
"Um, Slippy, you're doing it all wrong," Falco informed the frog, who was literally drinking the freeze pops. "You're supposed to eat them when they're frozen."
"Oh, so that's why they're called freeze pops..." Slippy exclaimed in pure realization...before going back to drinking the liquid freeze pops. Falco shook his head, as he hopped inside his Arwing.
"Time to get moving, Slippy," Peppy told the frog, grabbing the freeze pops so Slippy wouldn't consume anymore. Peppy and Slippy got in their respective Arwings, before they and Falco flew away.
Meanwhile, watching the three Arwings zip through the sky was a young man, wearing a cap on his head. It was Junpei, one of Minato's friends who showed up a few episodes back. What was he doing in Seattle?
"Must be on their way back to the mansion..." assumed Junpei, who was holding some kind of document in his hand. The young man turned to his left. "Yosuke, come on! The cookout's gonna start at any minute!"
"I'm coming!" Yosuke was heard shouting from afar, sounding annoyed. "Not my fault Yukari and Naoto went missing!" Yukari and Naoto? Hmm...
Fearing that having a normal, mundane on earth would be too "mainstream", Fox opted to have a wedding that was out of this world, on a planet or space locale that seemed feasible. To ensure that he and Krystal were on the same page, Fox went to the tower to discuss some things with his fiancee.
"Check this out," Fox said to Krystal, sitting on her bed in her room as he handed his fiancee a picture. "The Grandmaster Galaxy. Great spot for a wedding."
"Grandmaster Galaxy..." uttered Krystal, taking a look at the scenery presented in the image. The vixen turned the picture over, spotting Rosalina's signature. "...how do we reach this Grandmaster Galaxy?"
"I asked Rosalina after she gave me the picture, and she mentioned this guy named Lubba. Thought it was a Star Wars character at first, not gonna lie...anyways, she said that Lubba has this spacecraft that can reach Grandmaster Galaxy."
"How big is this spacecraft, can all the wedding guests fit in it?" Fox should probably mention that the spacecraft, named Starship Mario, was a planet...which was little a bit on the small side.
"Technically they can fit in it...provided we only have a small invite list!" Fox grinned sweetly at Krystal, who wasn't amused in the slightest.
"Sure hope you have other options in mind," Krystal had this to say, as she got up from her bed and momentarily left the room. "Just think and think in a reasonable manner, okay Fox?"
"Think in a reasonable manner...that sounds easier said than done." Fox would look outside the window, seeing Falco and the boys landing their Arwings. The pilot also saw more people showing up, for the 4th of July cookout.
Fox: Would it be redundant to announce my wedding to Krystal to the people showing up for the cookout? I mean, yeah, the people I'm living with and the neighbors next door already know, but I gotta keep on spreading the word. In fact, Krystal and I haven't even found a wedding date yet!
Krystal: ...it's a process, that's all I can really say. We already have a wedding ring - now we just need to put all the working pieces together so that our wedding day will be a great one. Over time I've grown to realize that I've vastly overestimated Fox's strange ways, which in turn might make wedding planning, um, a little...
Fox: *storming out of Krystal's room* CRAP, WHAT AM I GOING TO DO ABOUT THE INVITES?! WHO AM I EVEN INVITING TO MY FREAKING WEDDING?! WHY DO I HAVE TO MAKE ALL THESE HARD DECISIONS?!
Krystal: It's a process...a very long, enduring process.
Because the 4th of July was a traditional American holiday, Bowser believed that only Americans should be celebrating. This meant that if you weren't born in America, or you weren't a naturalized United States citizen, you had no right being at the cookout. So even though nobody asked him to do it, Bowser was serving as a de facto security guard, on the lookout for any non-Americans.
"Woah woah woah, hold it right there!" Bowser shouted, as he pointed at Link and Zelda; the latter was holding some dessert in her hands. "What do you blokes think you're doing?"
"I'm just putting the dessert on the table," Zelda kindly responded, not in the right mood to be annoyed by Bowser's shenanigans. "What are you doing, Bowser?"
"Looking out for any trespassers trying to get some free food at the cookout! There are miscreants all around us, trying to get some free food for themselves...it just makes me sick, sick I tell you!"
"I thought the food was free to begin with," said Link, refusing to pay any of his rupees for any of the food. The Hylian had enough rupees stolen from him already.
"That's what you think...it's only free if you're free. A free American, that is! Only free Americans allowed at the cookout!"
"Tell 'em how it is, Bowser!" Guile applauded the koopa king, as he clapped his hands in approval. Bowser grunted, looking back at Guile.
"Shut up Guile, nobody asked you what you think..." Called out on the spot, Guile slowed down his clapping, before he stopped clapping altogether.
"You're not an American either, Bowser - you're from the Mushroom Kingdom!" stated Zelda, as Bowser was taken back by the princess' ignorance.
"I think you meant Bowser's Kingdom, my precious little sweetheart," informed Bowser, as Zelda ignored the koopa and placed the dessert on one of the picnic tables. "Which is in the United States, mind you. So take that!"
"Oh really, where is it then?" Link challenged Bowser, who took the time to think of a good locale where one could find Bowser's Kingdom. The longer Bowser took to think, the more suspicious he looked in Link's eyes.
"It's in...it's in Chinatown. Chinatown, USA." That was Bowser's final answer, as he nodded his head convincingly. But not convincingly enough to change Link's mind.
"Which one, because I'm sure there's like, multiple Chinatowns all across this country."
"Chicago, Illinois! My kingdom is in Illinois, near Chicago. How much more info do you want, man?!"
"Your kingdom is in the state of Illinois?" Villager questioned Bowser as he walked away, greatly pleasing the koopa king.
"That's right! I built my kingdom there because outside of Chicago, Illinois is a pretty boring state. Just trying to spruce up the Prairie State a little."
"What is the address for Bowser's Kingdom?" Link sneered at Bowser, testing the koopa king further. Bowser growled at the Hylian, as he chased him away.
"Hey, no running around the food!" Master Hand shouted at Bowser and Link, as he was surveying the area. "We are NOT remaking any dishes that are wasted, you hear me?!"
Pit: I just love the 4th of July - the one day of the year where you splurge yourself with food and spend time with friends and family, and maybe watch a sports game! Oh wait, that's Thanksgiving...sometimes I like to consider the 4th of July as a summer Thanksgiving.
"Hey Master Hand, whaddaya think?" Pit asked the giant hand, garnering his attention; Master Hand saw that Pit was wearing an American flag, like some kind of superhero cape.
"Ah, yes, I wholeheartedly approve!" exclaimed Master Hand, giving Pit a thumbs up. "You'll definitely get to eat at the cookout with that flag on."
"Really? So all I had to do to be invited to the cookout was to wear the U.S. flag? I should probably pass that on to the others. Provided there's enough flags for everyone."
"Wait, so you didn't get that memo? Why are you even wearing that flag for?"
"I dunno, I just felt like being Captain America for a day, you know? All I'm missing is a shield."
"But Captain American never even wore a...oh, why am I even speaking with you?" Not wanting to lose any IQ points from speaking with Pit, Master Hand floated away while he could.
"Hold on, Master Hand, I still have to ask you another question!" Pit would chase after Master Hand, who was now floating away faster than usual. "What's the easiest way to bleach my hair blonde?"
Meanwhile, Rayman was hanging up an American flag pinata on a tree, with the help of his friends Barbara and Teensie. Looking on was one of the guests - Kirby's lady friend, Adelaine.
"Why are we doing this pinata thing again?" Adelaine asked Rayman and company, while Globox was practicing swinging with the bat while blindfolded. Way to be a team player.
"Because Dr. Cortex wants to redeem himself after the last time we had a pinata at a social gathering," replied Rayman, once he and his friends finally got the pinata hanging from a tree branch.
"Oh dear, did he miss the pinata?" Adelaine was already familiarized with how much of a loser Cortex was, so the young painter shouldn't be that surprised.
"Yeah he missed...multiple times," replied Barbara, as she hopped down from the tree. "Kept swinging the bat around until he finally took the blindfold off! Ended up hurting more people than the zombies did!"
"Zombies? At a social gathering?" Adeleine looked intrigued, while Barbara looked like she perhaps said a little too much. "Was it a Halloween party?"
"Nah, it was some nifty party we were invited to two months ago." Now that was something Barbara should've kept to herself, as Adeleine understandably looked confused.
But as confused as Adeleine was, she and the others failed to notice the buddy cops - Toon Link and Young Link - who were hiding in the bushes, spying on Rayman and friends from afar. Toon Link saw the American flag pinata through his small telescope, gasping in horror.
"A pinata at a 4th of July cookout?!" the Hylian frowned, as he lowered his telescope from his eye. "They're trying to infect the others with their multiculturalism."
"What a way to destroy American ideals..." Young Link shook his head in disapproval, as he wrote down the transgressions of Rayman and friends on his notepad.
"Even worse, they're forcing Adeleine to think that having pinatas at cookouts and barbecues are normal through indoctrination! A disgusting act!"
"Yikes! Pretty soon Adeleine will be shaking her maracas, and speaking Spanish like it's nobody's business! Might even learn a few Spanish curse words..."
"Which kind of maracas are we talking about here, Hutch?"
"Both..." Toon Link replied in the most pitiful way possible.
Rayman: The American flag pinata only cost me a few bucks at the dollar store nearby. Kinda amazing how cheap store prices are around the 4th of July...and pretty much any other holiday. Why can't we get holidays more frequently? Each "National _ Day" should be a holiday, if you ask me!
"Alright, on the count of three, I'll rush in and save Adeleine from those indoctrinating French losers," Young Link said to Toon Link, thinking of a surefire master plan. "You'll follow in after my lead, and drive La Resistance away. Got it?"
"Got it!" replied Toon Link, as the buddy cops remained in the bushes. They had to wait for the most opportune moment to strike.
"Okay Globox, you can stop 'practicing' now," Rayman said to his amphibian friend, who was still swinging with the bat while blindfolded. Globox would not listen, swinging wildly with the bat as he nearly knocked Rayman's head off.
"Globox gonna become world-famous baseball star one day!" exclaimed Globox, as Rayman narrowly dodged the amphibian's wicked bat swing. Globox would walk away, continuing to swing the bat, driving those outside away from him.
"Get back here, Globox!" Rayman would chase after his friend, as he was now out of the buddy cops' line vision. That only left Barbara and Teensie around with Adeleine, whom the buddy cops were deeply concerned about.
"Nice, now all we gotta do is take Barbara and Teensie out of the equation," said Young Link, jumping out from the shrubbery. "Here goes nothing!" The Hylian ran to Adeleine, picking her up without warning.
"Huh...?" wondered Adeleine realizing that she was now cradled in the arms of Young Link, who took her away out of her own "safety".
"Now, Starsky!" Young Link shouted at Toon Link, who popped out of the bushes and started swinging his sword at Barbara and Teensie. And Barbara and Teensie...did nothing but stand there.
"Why aren't you guys intimidated?" Toon Link asked Barbara and Teensie, starting to lose his breath the more he swung his sword erratically. "Shouldn't you, I don't know, run away?"
"He's so cute when he thinks he's tough..." Barbara said to Teensie with a smile, as Teensie was inclined to agree with the nodding of his head.
"Come on Starsky, don't just let them stand there!" Young Link encouraged his partner-in-crime, as Adeleine tried to fight out of Young Link's grasp. "Give them the ol' monkey impersonation!"
"I told you before, Hutch, I'm not Dr. Zaius..." Winded out from swinging his sword erratically, Toon Link slowly lost his breath as he collapsed face-first unto the ground. The Hylian took the time to regain his breath, while Barbara and Teensie looked on.
"I have an idea, follow me..." Barbara said to Teensie, grabbing Toon Link and dragging him away across the ground. Young Link couldn't stand to let two members of "La Resistance" take his partner-in-crime like that.
"Starsky, I'll rescue you!" the Hylian shouted to Toon Link, before looking down and realizing that he still had Adeleine in his grasp. Gotta think about his priorities. "Don't worry, Adeleine, I'll take you someplace safe!"
"I was feeling safe already..." stated Adeleine, but that didn't stop Young Link from taking her to the mansion - whether she liked it or not.
Cloud never wanted to attend the cookout - he was never the one to be at or enjoy social gatherings and get-togethers. But much to the swordsman's delight, Master Hand wasn't as strict on his residents being at the cookout - they can show up if they wanted to, provided they were wearing red, white, and blue. Cloud lacked red, white, and blue in his wardrobe, which gave him all the more reason to just kick back and remain at the mansion.
"It's just you and me..." Cloud said to his pet Chocobo, Cloud Jr, hanging out in the living room after Joker and Ann had left. The television was still on, showing the baseball game.
"You'll be safe here with Cloud, Adeleine," Young Link told the young artist, placing her in the living room. Cloud looked confused, as he stopped petting Cloud Jr. and glanced at Young Link.
"Do you honestly expect Cloud to watch over me?" questioned Adeleine, knowing that Young Link would snap if she attempted to run away. Might as well stay put. "Not like I need a babysitter..."
"Cloud here is our honorary sheriff, he'll keep you safe and sound. He won't let a single bad thing happen to you! Right Cloud?"
"I guess," replied Cloud, as he went back to petting Cloud Jr. He'd much rather watch baseball than watching over a young artist who could easily take care of herself.
"That's Sheriff Cloud's special way of saying yes. Trust me, I should know..." Young Link would wink at Adeleine, before leaving the living room so he could save his fellow buddy cop, Toon Link. Lord knows what Barbara and Teensie were doing to him.
Cloud: How did I become the buddy cops' "honorary sheriff"? It kinda has something to do with the fact that I wield a sword. And that I have blonde hair. And a whole bunch of other menial things that make no sense. But in general, the two Links liked my "take no crap" attitude, and both agreed that I would look "great" as a cowboy. So that's how I ended up being the honorary sheriff. As you would imagine, I hardly take the job seriously.
Knowing she would break Young Link's heart returning outside, Adeleine was left with no other choice but to hang out with Cloud in the living room. The young artist sat on the couch Cloud was sitting on, looking at the television screen.
"So...you watch sports?" Adeleine asked Cloud, drumming up some small talk with the swordsman.
"Not really, I'm not a sports guy," replied Cloud, who only had the television on as a little background noise. "Only things I watch are the Super Bowl, and maybe the Olympics if they're interesting."
"Oh, I see. So you can't really get into baseball, huh? Too slow for you?"
"Guess you could say that - baseball games just drag on forever. Bores me, sometimes..."
"Did you just call baseball boring?!" shouted a greatly offended person, as Ken angrily marched inside the living room. Cloud groaned when he saw the fighter. "Do you not have any taste, Mr. Strife?"
"No, but I do have an opinion. Which I believe is a very American thing to have."
"How can you hate on baseball, it's America's pastime! What better sport to play on this holiday, than baseball!"
"I thought football was America's pastime," remarked Adeleine, as Ken chuckled at the young artist's ignorance. "Or is it second?"
"Silly Adeleine...as great as football is, it is far from national pastime! You don't see dads playing catch with their sons out in the backyard, with a football."
"I've seen some dads play catch with a football with their sons," stated Cloud, putting Ken in his place. Ken had no idea what to say or how to retaliate, as he was biting his bottom lip.
"Well, uh...you see...I do the same thing...play catch with my son...using both a football...and a baseball...and maybe a tennis ball, too...but at least I have fun while doing it! Unlike you!"
"You do realize there are many different ways for someone to have fun, right? Starting to sound pretty close-minded right now..."
"Like you're the one to talk, Mr. Pet-Your-Chocobo-All-Day-Long! Why don't you go outside and have fun or something? Can you do that much?!"
"I'll just have to take that as an easy challenge..." Cloud got up off the couch, as he grabbed Adeleine's hand and walked away. "C'mon Adeleine, we're heading outside...you too, Cloud Jr."
"B-But why?" questioned Adeleine, as Cloud took her out of the living room with Cloud Jr. flying along. Ken watched as Cloud and the others left, smiling like he had accomplished something.
For many of the residents, this was their first time celebrating the 4th of July. The Phantom Thieves never celebrated in Japan; the Star Wolf crew hardly celebrated; and you know that Rex and his friends had no idea just what the heck the 4th of July was. Which was why someone had to educate them - someone like Bowser, who was tired from chasing Link around.
"So basically, the 4th of July - also known as Independence Day - is a day in which America celebrates independence," Bowser instructed the group of Rex, Pyra, Mythra, Nia, and Dromarch. Rex was the only one interested; the ladies were all bored, while Dromarch was snoring away.
"Well yeah, I know that much from the television programs I watched," stated Rex, trying his best not to flex on his lady friends...and Dromarch. "But who is America celebrating independence from on this day?"
"They're celebrating independence from...the Eskimos! Those bums ruined American crops, and tried to sell American soil to the foreigners. Thankfully, the delegates who put the Declaration of Independence together moved those Eskimos up to Canada, where they rightfully belong."
"I see, I see...and I take it the delegates were the ones who signed the Declaration?"
"Nah, they were just there to proofread the document. It was the Canadians who signed it instead."
"Oh really, then what Canadians signed the Declaration of Independence?" questioned Mythra, already skeptical about Bowser's teaching methods. Bowser thought to himself, quickly thinking of multiple names.
"Let's see, those Canadians were...Wayne Gretzky, Jim Carey, William Shatner, and Keanu Reeves. Well, their ancestors, at least...explains why the four are so popular today, doesn't it?"
"Sure does explain a lot..." replied Rex, as Mythra looked up at the heavens and shook her head.
Mythra: I already know everything there is to know about Independence Day. Read it all in the history books at the library. Really, I was just there with Rex to see how far his intelligence would fall just listening to Bowser.
"Bowser, I don't mean to interrupt, but Master Hand and Lucario want you to bring your chili to the cookout," Amy poked her head inside the room Bowser and company were in, speaking to Bowser.
"I know nothing about this chili you speak of," responded Bowser, looking confused. Amy sighed deeply, as she rolled her eyes.
"Bowser, Master Hand and Lucario want you to bring your world-famous, absolutely delicious, and better-than-anyone-else's chili to the cookout." Delighted by the correction, Bowser took away his confused facade as he smiled from ear to ear.
"Ah, now that's more like it! Tell Master Hand and Lucario I'll have my chili outside in a few."
With Bowser inside the mansion, there needed to be someone keeping the non-Americans away from the cookout premises. And with more guests coming in, someone had to step in into the role real quick. It was a good thing Bowser found somebody to take his place...
"Not gonna lie, this is pretty fun!" remarked Sonic, who was the temporary gatekeeper of the cookout. The hedgehog was, as always, eating a chili dog. "Eating chili dogs, while on the job...what more could a guy ask for?"
"Sonic, you're seriously eating a chili dog before the cookout?" Coco questioned the hedgehog, showing up along with the rest of the Crash clan. Sonic quickly got on guard, stopping the Crash clan from advancing any further.
"Woah woah woah - I can't let you guys through. Only naturalized citizens allowed!" This made the Crash clan confused, as they all looked at one another.
"If that's the case, then why were they invited?" questioned Aku, motioning over to a threesome that had just arrived - Chun-li, Cammy, and R. Mika. All of whom were not American in the slightest.
"...I'll get to them later. But as for you guys, you're all bandicoots, which makes you all Australians! You count as an Australian too, Aku."
"Shoot, and here I thought I could get away with things...come on, you guys, let's head back to the mansion..."
"NOOOO where are you going?!" fretted Master Hand, just as the Crash clan turned around. The giant hand quickly hovered over to the bandicoots (and Aku) before they could get away, not even looking at their clothes. "The cookout hasn't started yet!"
"Sonic told us to get lost because we weren't from America," Crunch told Master Hand, who looked at Sonic with an angry frown...well, Master Hand obviously didn't have a face, but Sonic still felt intimidated regardless.
"How are you going to tell someone they can't be at the cookout, because they're not 'American'? Have you ever heard of a thing called BEING INCLUSIVE?! Way to get with the times, man!" Master Hand sure knew how to change his ideologies in a snap.
"I was just doing Bowser a simple favor..." Sonic whimpered in fear, shivering to the bone. Would suck for him to meet his end on the 4th of July.
"Besides, the only way you cannot be allowed at the cookout is if you're not wearing red, white, and blue. Crash is adhering to the rules, with his apparel, but his two siblings...not so much."
"What about me, Master Hand, I'm not wearing red, white, and blue either!" complained Aku, not wanting to feel left out.
"You're just a floating mask, Aku...nobody cares about you," Coco told the floating mask, making him look down at the ground in sadness.
Aku: It's true, nobody does care about me...I should just run away...if I only had legs.
"What about Sonic, he shouldn't be here because he's NAKED!" stated Master Hand - this would only sound bad in context if Sonic was a human. "Where are your all-American clothes, hedgehog?"
"Dude, I'm practically red, white, and blue already!" Sonic defended himself, although Master Hand remained skeptical. "Red shoes, white gloves, blue fur...I am literally walking American patriotism!"
"Oh, you're right, you're right...in that case, feel free to stay at the cookout for as long as you like!" Sonic was left smiling proudly, as Master Hand turned his attention to the Crash clan. "Crunch and Coco...go wear something patriotic, now. Crash, just wear something white, just to be on the safe side."
As the Crash clan begrudgingly returned to the mansion to look for some apparel, Cranky Kong was being pushed to where everyone was hanging around at by Diddy Kong, on his wheelchair. Cranky looked over and saw Robin, playing catch with someone.
"Hey Diddy, why is Robin throwing that football around with that random kid?" the elderly gorilla asked the spidermonkey, watching Robin playing catch with Marc. Morgan sat a short distance from Marc, reading a book.
"That random kid is Robin's kid from the future, along with that girl sitting on the ground," stated Diddy, as Cranky laughed in response out of disbelief. "What's so funny about that, Cranky?"
"The dumb author seriously gave Robin a stupid kid?!" It unnerved Diddy Kong - and Donkey Kong as well - whenever Cranky broke the fourth wall at free will. "My goodness, him and his freaky imaginations!"
"No Cranky, Robin's children are legit! He had them with Lucina, his future wife." If Cranky was drinking something right now, he would've had one of the best spit takes in recent memory.
"Lucina got paired up with Robin, of all people? Man, who knew that the author liked weird pairings so much! What's next, Shadow and Amy?!"
Robin continued playing catch with Marc, tossing the football back and forth with his son. Looking on was Cloud, who was with Adeleine.
"Wanna play catch with us, Cloud?" Robin asked the swordsman, as he tossed the football to Marc who attempted a one-handed catch.
"No thanks, Adeleine and I will just wait until you and Marc are done," replied Cloud, with his hand in his pocket. Ken came over, looking at Cloud.
"Whole lotta fun you're having over there, Cloud!" the fighter taunted the swordsman, calling out to him. Cloud let out a sigh.
"...Robin, do you want to play a game of cornhole?" the swordsman asked the mage, as Ken proudly smiled and walked away. Robin had just caught the football from Marc, when Cloud asked him his question. "You and Marc, vs me and Adeleine."
"Sure, I would love to!" replied Robin, as he tossed the football away. The pigskin landed in the hands of Blue, as Robin and the others walked away. "There should be two cornhole boards set up somewhere."
"Hey guys, did you see my awesome catch?!" Blue excitedly asked the others, holding the football up in the air. Not a single person responded. "Hello? Anyone?"
Little did Robin and company know that someone was already playing cornhole - Captain Falcon and his girlfriend, Nowi. Captain Falcon was about to toss his bag of resin over to Nowi's board, as he winded up his arm.
"I'm gonna let you feel it, Nowi..." the racer warned the half-Manakete, letting his girlfriend know what was about to come. "...I got this in the bag!"
"I would really appreciate it if you just threw the thing already," Nowi said to Captain Falcon, as she was starting to feel bored. "You've been 'winding it up' for what feels like forever now!"
"Captain Falcon, you playing cornhole with your girlfriend?" Robin asked the racer, showing up along with his kids, Cloud, and Adeleine. Captain Falcon was still winding it up, not doing any favors to Nowi's impatience.
"Yeah, but we're almost done," replied Captain Falcon; you'd think his arm would've gotten tired already. "Once I throw this bag, our game will be over!"
"Alright then, we'll just wait for you to finish...provided you even finish on time." Robin and company stepped away, letting Captain Falcon continue to wind it up...
...and finally, FINALLY, Captain Falcon threw his bag of resin. The bag flew up in the sky, as far as the eye can see...only to fall down on the ground seconds later, far away from Nowi's board.
"Whoops, accidentally threw the bag upwards..." Captain Falcon chuckled sheepishly, as Nowi giggled at her boyfriend. Falcon screwing up certainly made up for the waiting Nowi had to endure.
"Oh snap! Captain Falcon, is that you? Is it really you?! No way!"
Hearing what sounded like a number one fan of his, Captain Falcon was taken by surprise when a young man ran up to greet the racer. It was Junpei, who was super stoked to meet Captain Falcon in person.
"My name is Junpei Iora, and let me say, Captain Falcon, that I've secretly been a huge fan of yours!" Junpei introduced himself to Captain Falcon, eagerly shaking the racer's hand. "This is so cool..."
"Good grief, Junpei, why did you have to run so fast..." someone said, nearly out of breath, as Yukari showed up along with Yosuke and Naoto. Captain Falcon looked over, recognizing Yosuke's face.
"Yo, Yosuke!" the racer pointed at the young man with a smile, completely ignoring Junpei's presence. Not that Junpei minded - he was still standing in the presence of Captain Falcon. "What's good, my man!"
"Would ya look at that, Captain Falcon!" gleamed Yosuke, pointing back at Captain Falcon as Naoto muttered to herself. Something along the lines of being surrounded by imbeciles. "Haven't seen you in ages, man!"
"We literally saw him a few weeks ago..." Naoto painfully stated, as she started to facepalm. Yukari smiled, gently patting Naoto on the back.
Naoto: Yosuke promised that he would take me to some seafood factory in Seattle...this ISN'T a seafood factory...
Yosuke: Yukiko, Chie, and Rise were all pretty hard to convince, so I ultimately had to settle with Naoto. I'm honestly surprised she hasn't kicked me in the groin yet...I can feel it coming.
"Captain Falcon, do you mind taking a selfie with me?" Junpei asked the racer, bringing his attention back to him. "I mean, I don't really do selfies a lot, but..."
"No worries kid, I'm the same way too!" replied Captain Falcon, finally letting go of Junpei's hand. "Why don't we take a selfie together?" So Junpei took out his phone and snapped a photo of him and Captain Falcon, as Naoto facepalmed once more.
"Sweet, thanks a lot, Falcon!" Junpei was all smiles, as he happily put his phone back in his pocket. "So, you're probably wondering why me and my friends are here, aren't you?"
"What, you weren't invited to the cookout by Master Hand? Usually, Master Hand gets real apprehensive when 'unwanted guests' meander to his get-togethers and steal his food!"
"Well we aren't on the guest list...and we aren't here to steal any food, either." Junpei dug into his pocket, and pulled out the document from earlier. "We just need people to sign this."
"What's this supposed to be, a petition?" Captain Falcon took the document from Junpei, looking at it. "You want to be residents at the mansion?"
"It's for both the Investigation Team AND the Shadow Operatives," Yukari explained to Captain Falcon, poking her head past the racer's torso as she pointed at a few bullet points on the documentation. "We wanna live at the mansion, like our friends."
"Our good friends Joker, Yu, and Minato," said Junpei. "If Joker's friends get residency, then so do Yu and Minato's friends! So how about it, Captain Falcon?"
"Hmm...sure, why not?" shrugged Captain Falcon, after some thought and consideration. "Where do I sign, where's the pen?"
"Guess the cornhole game is open for us," Robin said to Cloud and company, as Yukari handed Captain Falcon a black ink pen. "Who wants to go first?"
"I'll be throwing first, I suppose," responded Cloud, as he watched Captain Falcon signing Junpei's petition. The swordsman could smell new residents coming from a mile away...
As much as he would love to stop the "La Resistance" of Rayman and Globox from...whatever, Young Link had to make sure that the other two members of "La Resistance" - Barbara and Teensie - weren't harming his partner-in-crime Toon Link. The Hylian wandered off into the territory of the Yiga Clan hideout, calling out Toon Link's name.
"Toon Link, where are you?" Young Link called out, hoping to get a response of some kind. "If you can hear me, give me a bird call!"
"Halt!" someone shouted, as three Yiga clansmen appeared in front of Young Link, before the Hylian could venture deeper into the hideout. "What kind of bird are you calling out to?"
"I'm calling out to Toon Link." The three Yiga clansmen all looked confused, as the put away their weapons and looked at one another, bewildered.
"Toon Link was a Rito this whole time?" one of the clansmen asked the others, scratching his head.
"That would explain those bird calls I've been hearing in the morning time..." a second Yiga clansman said, still pretty confused. "...or maybe it was Master Kogha."
"It was definitely Master Kohga, I have proof," a third Yiga clansman said, before he giggled to himself.
"Sure, buddy, sure...so kid, do you wanna see where Toon Link is or what?" the second Yiga clansman asked Young Link.
"You mean to tell me that he's somewhere around in your lair?" asked Young Link, getting all excited for no reason. "Tell me where he is?"
"He is in our lair, apparently...along with some viking girl and a small, weird-looking elephant thing. At least I think he's an elephant...c'mon, follow us."
"Just so you know, we're doing a little 4th of July planning," the third Yiga clansman informed Young Link; today marked the first time the Yiga Clan would be celebrating the 4th of July. "So don't mind the fireworks..."
Having to follow Master Hand's commands, the Crash clan (Aku included) had to spruce up their attire a little, just so they could be invited to the cookout. While Crash simply put on a plain white tank top, Crunch and Coco had to seek a little fashion advice from someone.
"Do I really have to wear this outside, Ann?" whined Ryuji, standing in Ann's room as he was wearing some American shorts. Ann's giggling didn't do much to make Ryuji feel any better. "Everyone's gonna laugh at me!"
"Aw, Ryuji, it'll only be a couple of people looking!" encouraged Ann, very much unaware of just how many people Master Hand invited. "I'll be there at the cookout to distract the others, if it'll make you feel any better."
Ryuji: Distract the others how, by wearing some stupid jeggings? Are jeggings still even a thing anymore? Just another stupid fashion trend...
Ryuji held his head down low, as he trudged out of Ann's room. As he left, he saw Crunch and Coco, who were giving him looks.
"Nice shorts, Ryuji!" Coco complimented the delinquent, who looked up at the blonde bandicoot with a very rueful glare.
"Don't flatter me..." retorted Ryuji as he walked away. Coco and Crunch entered Ann's room, looking for something to wear.
"Oh, you came here for some American colors to wear, too?" Ann asked Coco and Crunch, knowing from the get-go what the bandicoots came for. "Well you came to the right place! Let me see what I got for you..."
Master Hand was in the teleportation room, trying to warp a very special guest to the mansion. Proto Man, who helped Master Hand get the teleportation machine calibrated, had left the room for his own personal reasons.
"The audacity of that robot, to accuse me of being a fake good guy..." Master Hand seethed, having this to say about Proto Man. "...I'm just being generous, that's all! Generosity always makes you look good, no matter how bad it is!"
"Master Hand, there's too many humans at the cookout," complained Viridi, as she entered the teleportation room. "I don't think I can...who are you trying to force to attend the cookout?"
"What do you mean by that? You think I'm gonna keep our special guest here against our will? No! I'm here to leave an even better impression on him, so he'll tell his friends all the great things about me."
"An even better impression...don't tell me it's someone who has already been here!"
Once the teleportation device was finished doing his thing, a tall, black, lanky (but athletic) man appeared on the teleportation pad. The moment the man realized where he was, his face immediately sank.
"Oh no, not this place again..." he sighed, knowing exactly where he was when he saw Master Hand...and Viridi, too. It was Wayne, the basketball player who Master Hand was particularly fond of - if the earlier episodes of Smash Life (namely 48 and 65) were any indication.
"Welcome back, friend!" Master Hand greeted Wayne, who immediately cringed in response. No room for him to escape; he was stuck. "I would give you a hug and a kiss, but I can't do it so...Viridi?"
"I'm not touching that filthy human!" grimaced Viridi, sticking her tongue out to let Master Hand know how disgusted she was.
"Uh, just so you know, I already took a shower..." stated Wayne, as he stepped off the teleportation pad. "Can you just take me back to Brooklyn, please?"
"Brooklyn? I thought you were living over in the Bay Area," said Master Hand, before Wayne pulled out his phone so he could text his whereabouts to someone. "Unless Proto Man brought forth an imposter..."
"Look, it's the 4th of July, so I'm assuming that you want me at some barbecue or cookout, right?"
"Right you are, my friend! And guess what? Lucario is the grill master! His food will knock you off your feet!"
"You seriously allowed Lucario to be a grill master again...?"
Wayne: Well, looks like I'm stuck here, until Master Hand stops fawning over me...that food better be good, considering who's cooking it.
The cookout was almost about to begin, and Palutena and Tiki (and a few others) were setting things up. Tiki was setting up the condiments, when she looked down and saw a certain evil genius.
"...nice outfit, Dr. Cortex," Tiki said to the evil genius, who was apparently wearing some kind of Uncle Sam getup. "I must say, it looks...oddly fitting on you."
"Gotta show my American pride...even though I'm technically Australian," replied Cortex, stroking the white beard that came with his getup. "I think. This was the only way I would be allowed at the cookout."
"Oh yes, I forgot...the whole dress code thing. Seems so stupid to me. I had no idea Master Hand was all about American pride..."
"May I interest you two in signing this petition?" Junpei approached Tiki and Cortex, holding the petition in hand with Yukari at his side. Yosuke was somewhere around, trying to prevent Naoto from running away.
"Ooh, where do we sign?" asked a delighted Cortex, as Yukari handed the evil genius a pen. "As long as this petition is all about ridding this putrid world of Crash, then I'm all for it!"
"Actually, it's a petition to get us inside the mansion, as residents," explained Yukari, after Cortex had signed the petition. "We're both friends of Minato Arisato, so we have a good enough argument to get in!"
"Minato has friends...?" Cortex realized he shouldn't have said that out loud, as Yukari looked offended. "I mean, it's nice that Minato has friends! Friends that want to live with him, how swell!"
"Someone called my name?" asked Minato, approaching Cortex and company with his hands in his pockets. He was quite stunned to see Junpei and Yukari. "Junpei? Yukari? What are you both doing here?"
"Fighting for our right to become mansion residents, that's what!" grinned Junpei, as he wrapped his arm around Minato. "We're gonna make it possible, with this here petition!"
"Really, a petition?" Minato looked at the petition, letting out a sigh. "The most reasonable thing for you to do is politely ask Master Hand to..."
"Well Yosuke and I tried asking Master Hand, but nothing will get through to him. But once we drum up enough support from the residents, Master Hand will have to give us residency!"
"Don't tell me Yosuke is here too..." A grin was slowly forming on Junpei's face, which told Minato everything he needed to know. "...oh boy."
Yosuke didn't know how he did it, but he somehow lost control of Naoto. The police detective managed to escape from Yosuke's clutches, and now Yosuke was on the hunt for her.
"Naoto, come back, don't leave me all alone!" Yosuke called out, venturing into unfamiliar territory...the Yiga clan hideout. "Oh man, this place is so creepy..."
"Intruder alert!" a Yiga footsoldier appeared, armed with a sickle, as a Yiga archer appeared next to him with his bow ready. The two clansmen would lower their guards, however, at the sight of Yosuke.
"Pfft, it's just some bum..." the Yiga archer remarked, lowering his bow. "...he's not worth any of our trouble."
Yosuke: Heh heh, those masked losers thought I was so weak, I didn't even deserve to get beat up...that's gotta be a positive, right? Right?!
"Have you..seen a girl around here?" Yosuke asked the Yiga clansmen, not wishing to start any trouble. "She's got blue hair, and has on a blue hat, and a black Japanese school uniform..."
"Oh shoot, that was a girl?!" the Yiga archer exclaimed, feeling pretty stupid. He's definitely not the only person to make that mistake. "Yeah, we know who you're talking about. Follow us."
So the two Yiga clansmen led Yosuke deep into the Yiga clan hideout, into the large open area. There they found Master Kogha, who happened to walk by.
"Master Kohga!" the Yiga footsoldier alerted his leader, stopping him in his tracks. "We have another guest with us."
"How delightful!" gleamed Master Kohga, as he clapped his hands together. "Please tell me he's going to help us with the fireworks..."
"No, he came here to retrieve his friend. The boy with the hat who's actually...a girl." Master Kohga's wish did not come true, as the leader of the Yiga Clan moaned.
"Let me show him where this boy...erm, girl is." The Yiga clansmen allowed Yosuke to follow after Master Kohga, as the clan leader took the young man to a pile of fireworks. Tied up to said fireworks were Toon Link...and Young Link, as well.
"The rope seems awfully tricky..." said the person who was trying to untie the buddy cops, Naoto. Really cool to see police folk helping out one another. "...they sure are pretty tight."
"Naoto!" squealed Yosuke, as Naoto stopped what she was doing and turned around, groaning when she saw Yosuke. "Thought you were gone forever!"
"Sometimes I wish I was..." Naoto quickly returned to untying the buddy cops, doing her best to get the rope loose. "...mainly because of people such as yourself."
"We may be tied up to these fireworks, but at least we still have each other," Toon Link said to Young Link, who flashed an assuring smile. "I know that sounds cheesy, but...I kinda like cheese."
"You aren't...celebrating the 4th of July too, are you?" Yosuke asked Master Kohga out of curiosity. It seemed weird for a clan to be celebrating holidays like the average American.
"It's our first ever celebration!" exclaimed Master Kohga, raising his arms up to the sky. "We were planning on having a fireworks show, and during our planning, some intruders brought Toon Link to our premises and tied him up to the fireworks they tried to steal from us!"
"And I take it Young Link was brought in a while later?"
"Eh, turns out one of the intruders had an axe, and she was beating up some of my men with it. Then she tied up Young Link afterwards. But no worries, she's already been taken care of..."
"You won't be seeing the last of me, bub!" Barbara shouted at Master Kohga, as she and Teensie were being carried away on stakes by Yiga blademasters.
"I promise you we won't burn the intruders alive...we'll just give them front row seats to our fireworks display. Hehehe..."
Rayman: Man it feels good to be away from Barbara...it's been nothing but peace and quiet ever since she left. And you guys think we should be boyfriend-girlfriend...Why do I live with her? Because we're, uh...best friends!
"Bro I'm telling you, the boys and I left the fireworks at this hideout for safekeeping," Falco explained to Fox, showing up along with a Yiga clansmen that let them inside the hideout. "We figured that the clan might need...some..."
"Are those the fireworks you speak of?" Fox asked Falco, as he pointed at the fireworks. Naoto stopped untying the buddy cops, as she and the pilots were looking at one another.
"Uh, I can explain..." Naoto said to the pilots, as she stood up. If anyone had to do any explaining, it would be the buddy cops, Toon Link and Young Link.
The cookout had already started, and there was plenty of food for everyone (surprisingly). Having been forced to attend the cookout, Wayne was outside handing out bandannas in red, white, and blue to those who weren't wearing those three colors.
"Seriously, do I really have to wear this around my head?" frowned Samus, after Wayne handed the bounty hunter an American bandanna.
"Master Hand did say that anyone who wasn't wearing anything remotely American would be kicked out..." stated Wayne, as Samus begrudgingly accepted the bandanna against her will. "...think about your livelihood."
"Stupid Master Hand...I'll just wear it around my arm, if it'll make Master Hand happy." Wayne would walk away, as he handed another bandanna to Cammy.
"Why do I need this? Why am I even here?" questioned Cammy, after she took the bandanna from Wayne. "I'm just a Russian!"
"So Lucario, what do you think of my world-famous chili?" Bowser asked the aura Pokemon, eating his chili from a bowl to remind himself of how great his cooking was. He should probably cook more often.
"In my opinion...it's pretty terrible," critiqued Lucario, who was forced to change his tune after the intense glare Bowser gave him. "Terribly awesome, I mean!"
"Is it true that Americans celebrate the 4th of July to celebrate independence from the Eskimos?" Rex asked Popo and Nana, who both felt bothered as they ran away from the swordsman. "Wait, I have more to ask of you!"
"Bowser did it, he actually deluded poor Rex..." Mythra said to Pyra, as the two Blades watched Rex chase the Ice Climbers around. Someone tapped Mythra and Pyra on their shoulders, grabbing their attention...and it was Pit.
"What do you ladies think of my Captain America suit?" asked Pit, still wearing an American flag as a cape. In addition, he also had on a Superman t-shirt, and some American shorts a professional boxer would wear. Too bad his hair wasn't blonde.
"You look nothing like him, but it was a faithful attempt," Pyra kindly offered her two cents, as Link walked by and laughed at Pit's getup.
"You're still not angry with me about not hanging out with you at the festival, are ya?" Sonic asked Amy, the two lovebirds sitting at a picnic table. Amy would give Sonic the cold shoulder, as she frowned and turned away. "Boy did I mess up badly..."
"We all make mistakes sometimes," said Crunch, who was sitting next to Sonic...wearing a Lady Liberty costume that came in American colors. "Knew I should've consulted one of the idol singers for some fashion advice!"
Crunch: While Coco got some peppy American girl clothes, Ann makes me wear this dumb Lady Liberty costume because she apparently had "nothing for my size"! Feels almost like she's secretly discriminating against muscular dudes, like myself!
"Nice throw, Cloud!" Adeleine commended the swordsman, as she and Cloud were still playing a game of cornhole against Robin and his kids. Screw the food! "You're a real pro!"
"It's not like tossing some bag requires skill," stated Cloud, as Robin tossed his bag over to Cloud and Adeleine's board and missed the hole by a long shot. "Literally anyone can do it..."
"That's right, you know that better than anyone..." grinned Ken, as he came over to Cloud and nudged the swordsman with his elbow. "...look at you, having fun!"
"Not today, Ken..." Taking Cloud's response as a threat, Ken kindly backed away and darted off - before running into Junpei and Yukari.
"Ken Masters, nice to meet you!" Junpei greeted the fighter, shaking his head before offering him the petition and an ink pen. "Mind signing this petition?"
"Heck yeah, I'd love to!" gleamed Ken, not even asking what the petition was for as he signed his name on the document. "Trying to make change on Independence Day, I like that!"
"We really appreciate it, man! Thanks a bunch!" After signing the petition, Ken walked away, as Junpei looked at the signatures on the petition. "Whew, with this many signatures, Master Hand will have to make us residents!"
"Junpei, Yukari...did we miss anything?" asked Yosuke, returning to the site of the cookout along with Naoto. The young man was huffing and puffing from exhaustion. "Naoto here kinda got lost..."
"I was really trying to run away, before I got caught," explained Naoto - not even the allure of food could keep the police detective around. "Got enough signatures for your stupid petition yet?"
"I think we have more than enough," replied Junpei, before looking around for one person in individual. "Now if we can get Mario's signature, it'll be a done deal..."
"Ah, I see you made-a it to the cookout too!" Mario said to Junpei and company, as Junpei and Yosuke both got really excited. "Hello, everyone!"
"Sign this petition now!" Junpei commanded Mario, handing the plumber the petition and ink pen faster than he did with anyone else. "Sign it, sign it!"
"Okay, okay, don't-a rush me..." Mario took the petition and ink pen from Mario, looking for a place to sign. "Whatever this-a petition is all about, it better be good..."
"Bro, you and your friends gotta put this on," Wayne approached Junpei and his amigos, with the bandannas. "Otherwise Master Hand is gonna..."
"Shh!" Junpei shushed Wayne, having literally no idea whom he was shushing. "We're trying to witness history here..."
"Really, because all I see is Mario about to sign some piece of paper. What's so historical about that?"
"He's just being delusional, that's all," Yukari said to Wayne, only to be shushed by Junpei.
"Let the man focus..." Junpei sternly told Yukari, motioning over to Mario who finally found a space for him to sign his name. Nothing could stop the plumber in this moment, not even...
"YOOOOOSSSSUUUUUKKKKKEEEEE!" boomed Master Hand, magically appearing over Yosuke and company. "Did I tell you in our phone conversations NOT to stop foot on the mansion premises without my permission?!"
"Hold up, so y'all weren't even invited to the cookout?" Wayne asked Yosuke and company, as Junpei grinned nervously. "Not gonna lie, y'all are pretty lucky..."
"Master Hand you don't understand!" Yosuke said to the giant hand, hoping his case would be heard. "If you let Joker stay with his friends at the mansion, then you should extend the same privileges to Yu and Minato!"
"Josuke?" Yu called out his friend's name, standing next to Kumatora. Seeing Yosuke and Naoto at the cookout was a big surprise for Yu.
"You know him?" Kumatora asked Yu, who lowered his head just a tad.
"I do, apparently...he can be a little embarrassing at times."
"Oh, so because Ryu has dozens of friends, I should invite his friends to the mansion too?" retorted Master Hand, attempting to use some logic against Yosuke. "It doesn't work that way, you bum!"
"Would you look at that, Master Hand disagrees with us, let's go home," said Naoto as she was about to walk away, before Yosuke grabbed her hand.
"No...I won't stand for this!" frowned a very determined Yosuke, stomping his foot to let Master Hand know that he meant business. "I'm gonna stand up for what's right, and you can't stop me Master Hand!"
"I agree with him, that is a very American thing to do," Guile sided with Yosuke, having heard every word that was spoken. "Justice for Yu and Minato's friends!"
"Uh oh, looks like we got a little crowd going on..." observed Wayne, seeing how many people were looking after Guile's remark. "...I think you better do something, Master Hand."
"Oh I know exactly what to do..." responded Master Hand, as he pointed at his trustworthy right-hand man, Mario. "Mario, tell Yosuke and his friends to vamoose! Do as I say!"
"Sorry, Master Hand, but it's too-a late...I've signed the petition," replied Mario, showing off the petition AND where on the petition he signed his name. Master Hand was speechless, left stuttering.
Mario: Why wouldn't I sign-a the petition? It's an American thing-a to do. *winks*
"Sheesh, there's like a hundred signatures on here!" Wayne looked at the petition, seeing countless of signatures on the document. "Even the people who wouldn't sign it still left behind a signature."
"He must be talking about you," Donkey Kong said to Samus, who slapped the gorilla and walked away.
"Well, I'd say a hundred signatures is more than enough to get us in the mansion..." smirked Junpei, as he proudly folded his arms. "...so how about it, Master Hand? Letting us in, or not?"
"They do have a lot of support behind them..." Wayne told Master Hand, trying to change the giant hand's mind.
"And you do let people live-a at your mansion like it's a freebie..." Mario told Master hand, also trying to change the giant hand's mind.
"Fine, my mind's all made up!" shouted Master Hand, before letting out a tired groan. "On this day, I decree...that from this day forth, the Shadow Operatives and Investigation Team...are hereby allowed to live at the Smash Mansion."
"Woo hoo, we did it!" cheered Yosuke, as Junpei and Yukari were also cheering. Naoto could only let out a slight "Meh".
"Ha ha, but it's too bad we don't have enough room in the mansion for you bums! So take that!"
"Pretty understandable, since you crammed ELEVEN people in one bedroom," Lucario called out Master Hand, causing some murmurings among the crowd. Master Hand had nothing to say about that.
"I'm sure Luigi and I could-a make some room," smiled Mario, taking off his golf hat and putting on his yellow builder hat. At that moment, Master Hand knew what Mario was alluding to.
"You're not going to build a new floor for the mansion...are you?" the giant hand asked Mario, before looking over and seeing Luigi put on his yellow builder hat too. "Why do I let so many freeloaders live under my roof..."
Suddenly something was shot overhead across the cookout scene, as that something turned out to be a firework that exploded in the sky. Everyone looked up at the sky, pretty confused, as Fox and Falco came running along with the buddy cops.
"RUN, RUN AWAY!" Fox alerted the crowd, him and Falco running past everyone. "THE WOMAN IS ARMED AND DANGEROUS!"
"LA RESISTANCE IS FIGHTING BACK!" shouted Toon Link, as he and Toon Link also ran past everyone. Soon Barbara and Teensie showed up, the latter smiling crazily with a crazy look in her eyes.
"Which one of laddies wants to see a light show?!" Barbara asked the nervous crowd, as she took out a few fireworks. "It's never too early!"
"Really, Barbara, why you gotta make a fool out of yourself?" Rayman scolded the barbaric princess, standing up from the picnic table he was sitting at. "Last thing we'd want is for you to..."
Suddenly a pie was thrown at Rayman, hitting the limbless hero square in the face. Rayman angrily wiped the contents off his face, as Cranky Kong was seen whistling innocently.
"Don't tell me what I think is going to happen..." moaned Meta Knight - little did he know that the inevitable was bound to happen anyways.
"FOOD FIGHT!" shouted Hammer Bro, and right on cue, people starting throwing food at one another. Banjo fired hot dogs out of Kazooie's mouth at Blue; Paula and Poo threw burgers at Male Wii Fit Trainer; B.D. Joe squirted some ketchup in King K. Rool's eyes; Villager would use corn on the cob as a weapon against Alucard, who didn't care in the slightest; and a whole bunch of other crap was going on.
"Let's get this light show started!" shouted Barbara, ready to unleash some fireworks, only for a Yiga blademaster to snatch up the barbaric princess and take her back to the hideout. He couldn't have come at a better time.
Pit: See, we even had an epic food fight! Told you the 4th of July was like a second Thanksgiving!
Kirby: But Pit, the 4th of July comes before Thanksgiving.
Pit: ...my point still stands regardless!
"...you know what guys, I'ma bounce," Wayne said to Yosuke and company as he left, hoping a robot would teleport him back to Brooklyn. Too much going on in the food fight for Wayne's liking. "Good luck getting into the mansion and all."
"Thanks, man!" Yosuke said to Wayne, who gave a thumbs up as he retreated to the mansion. "And thanks to you, Mario, for sticking up for us," Yosuke thanked the plumber, shaking his hand.
"It the least-a I could do," replied Mario, with an assuring smile. "Or at least, the most American thing-a I could do." Yosuke and Mario would share a laugh...before the former was struck in the face by a thrown pie.
"Consider that your little initiation into the mansion!" the female Inkling shouted at Yosuke, before taunting him. That really grinded Yosuke's gears.
"Come on you guys, let's get 'em!" Yosuke told his friends and Mario, as they ran off to find whatever food they could use at their disposal. Only person that stayed behind was Naoto.
"Surrounded by imbeciles..." the police detective sighed as she followed the others, having no choice but to participate in the food fight. If she thought that about her own friends...
...just wait until she got used to the residents she would have to live with.