Author's Note:
Dragon Quest XI S: Definitive Edition is being released today, so expect a few DQ11 characters in this chapter. FIFA 20 is also being released today, so expect a lot of soccer in this chapter as well. And this is an author's note, so expect me to answer some guest reviews...which I will do right now.
"Has Deoxys shown up in past chapters? (If he hasn't is he gonna kidnap random people like in the movie?) is Leaf gonna be aged up like Red and Blue were in the Sun and Moon games? Wouldn't 'Awakened Link' be a better name instead of Woke Link? A scene of Manuela from Fire Emblem Three Houses interacting with the Pokemon? (Veronica Taylor voices Manuela and previously voiced Ash) will the King of Fighters characters show up in November when the Terry DLC comes out? And finally, what did you like and dislike from the Tokyo Game Show?"
No, but if he does appear again, he will kidnap people. Leaf will be aged up soon. Woke Link was a funnier name, to me. I don't really care for Manuela, so I don't know about that scene. A few King of Fighters characters may show up (depending on who gets a Mii costume). And outside of Final Fantasy VII, Kingdom Hearts III and some Smash-related stuff, I didn't care much for the Tokyo Game show this year. Up next is Professor Dog:
"Will you be doing a reference to "I love you Colonel Sanders" ?"
No, and I don't know why that game even exists in the first place. Honestly. Here is El Pollo Campero:
"1.) Please will there be more Untitled Goose game chapters in the near future because this is the only important game now
2.) This will probably be done by the time I write this but will there be an Area 51 Raid chapter?"
1.) I wouldn't mind doing some more geese shenanigans in the future.
2.) Most likely not. I didn't expect the Area 51 thing to become such a big thing...
Derick Lindsey has a few questions for me:
"...I was hoping you can have someone invite bring The Fiend out of the TV and it spends the whole chapter attacking anyone he sees or you could have someone dress up like the Fiend (doesn't matter who) and have them attack everyone at the mansion taking the whole gimmick to far like how Link takes the whole Joker thing to far if you don't want to bring Bray Wyatt in."
The Fiend, from WWE, in Smash Life...eh, there have been instances of wrestlers being in the story, albeit pixelated, so we'll see. Might save the Fiend for a...Halloween special. Blegh. Moving on:
"Also what do you think on Smackdown being back on Fridays in 2 weeks on Fox (also Brock Lesnar probably holding a world title hostage AGAIN)."
Missed watching Smackdown on Fridays, so I'm looking forward to it. Brock Lesnar being a world champion seems like a booking decision a few FOX executives might've made. Moving on:
"Finally how do you feel about Ash finally winning a Pokemon League Conference in the Anime after 22 years of falling short I hope this means we get to progress more on Ash as a trainer and in the Sword and Shield anime he can we a Second league conference in a row but this time it's like the other conferences before the Alola one where you have to collect 8 badges in order to participate in and you need to have 6 pokemon in order to make it to the final rounds where trainers face off in a full battle."
When I saw that the Alola region didn't have a formal champion, I was like, "Ash is actually going to win a Pokemon League, for once..." And I was right. Since the Galar region has a champion in place, I don't foresee Ash winning the Pokemon League there. Moving on:
"...will Link ever get his toothbrush back? or is that officially Yosuke's now and Link has to get a new one?"
The toothbrush belongs to Yosuke...for now. And our last review is from PinkRose4452:
"1. Will Labrys and Sho Minazuki make an appearance?
2. Will Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong have some more screentime?"
1. I mean they could, but we'll see about that.
2. Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong will be getting more screentime.
Episode 197: Lovestruck
Like any ordinary Dragon Quest Hero - or any RPG main character, for that matter - the Luminary had his own special party. His party consisted of members that, while different, were helpful in their own special way and contributed to perseverance in a daunting adventure. For anyone like the Luminary, having a bunch of party members at your side was like having a bunch of homeboy willing to die at your side.
Aside from Veronica and Serena, the other members of the Luminary's party were pretty notable. You had Erik, the very handsome thief; Sylvando, the very flamboyant performer; Rab, an old guy; and Jade, the no-nonsense martial artist. With his homeboys (...and homegirls) at his side, the Luminary couldn't possibly be stopped.
So far, only two members from the Luminary's party were at the mansion premises - Veronica at the mansion, and Serena at the manor. Veronica and Serena were seated at a picnic table with the Luminary, waiting for someone.
"Ow, not so tight..." the Luminary winced in pain, as Veronica applied a band-aid to the swordsman's finger. The Luminary had suffered a pretty nasty cut on his finger while peeling potatoes, and Veronica did not bother waiting to patch up the very lad she had to keep watch of.
"I told you to use that old-fashioned peeler, but you just wouldn't listen," Veronica scolded the Luminary, as she was finished applying the band-aid. "And done!" The band-aid was now on the luminary's finger...albeit very tightly, as pockets of blood appeared out from the band-aid.
"Look what you did, Veronica, you somehow made it even worse!" Disgusted by the amount of blood he was seeing, the Luminary savagely ripped off the band-aid from his finger. Veronica and Serena gasped at such savagery.
"Oh no, I think you accidentally pulled off your skin!" exclaimed Serena, as she saw a whole bunch of red on the Luminary's index finger. But the Luminary didn't seem to mind one bit.
"Eh, I'm sure it'll grow back pretty soon. Just gonna need a much better band-aid. Or maybe some bandages..."
Soon a taxi rolled up to the mansion's driveway. The Luminary looked over, and saw that it was B.D. Joe's taxi, and Waluigi was the passenger. The lanky man got out of the taxi, carrying a briefcase.
"Thanks for the ride, B.D. Joe!" Waluigi thanked the taxi driver as he waved; B.D. Joe would give Waluigi the two-finger salute, before driving away from the mansion. Waluigi walked to the tower, with the Luminary and company looking on.
"What's in the briefcase, Waluigi?" the Luminary asked the lanky man, as he was conspicuously eyeing the briefcase in Waluigi's hand. "You didn't go rob a bank in broad daylight, did you?"
"Pfft, heck no...I'm too good for robbing banks anyways," Waluigi replied with a snort; the Luminary found Waluigi's response to be very laughable. "I was just shopping for some...essentials."
Ashley: Waluigi has been in a particularly lovey-dovey mood ever since Krystal got engaged to Fox. It seems like every time love is in the air, Waluigi has some newfound motivation to find himself a girlfriend, or at least someone that actually has the stones to love him back. And the very thing that drives Waluigi's motivation? Delusion.
"Essentials such as...?" inquired Serena, as Waluigi placed his briefcase on the picnic table and opened it up. Waluigi took out a few roses, some heart-shaped candy, and a bottle of cologne.
"Just a few things to woo the lady of my dreams," replied Waluigi, as he took the bottle of cologne and sprayed it all over himself. The cologne was strong enough to make the Luminary and company cough. "With these essentials, no woman can possibly resist me!"
"Don't push your luck, buddy..." the Luminary advised Waluigi, slowly scared of how motivated Waluigi had become. An extremely motivated Waluigi - especially one that was motivated by love (and delusion) - was always a scary sight.
"I will have you know, that I tried out my essentials on a few random ladies around Seattle! Granted, each one of them walked away from me, but they didn't slap me in the face so that's a win. For me."
"But did the ladies you speak with acknowledged your existence? Not getting slapped by a woman isn't exactly a..."
"Oi! Luminary! Veronica! Serena! Haven't seen you guys in a while!"
The Luminary, Veronica, and Serena looked over when they heard that familiar voice, and saw a young, handsome man, accompanied by some flamboyant dude, an old guy, and a chick with a black ponytail. It was the Luminary's main man, Erik, accompanied by the other members of the Luminary's party - Sylvando, Rab, and Jade.
"Erik! Sylvando! Rab! Jade!" the Luminary happily called out the names of his party members, as he, veronica, and Serena ran over to the four. "You guys made it!"
"Made it, we certainly did!" exclaimed Sylvando, very expressive with his arms out at the side. He was a very histrionic person, though the same could be said of any performer of his caliber. "And now, here we are!"
"We've heard from a few villagers that you and the twins were living here at the mansion," Rab said to the Luminary, wrapping his arm around the swordsman. Rab had been wanting to wrap his arm around the Luminary, for a while now. "So we decided to pay you a visit!"
"You guys must be living the life, aren't ya?" Erik asked the Luminary and the twins, as he looked up at the Smash Mansion. "Must be real nice to be living in an awesome mansion like that one!"
"I wouldn't say that it's entirely awesome..." stated the Luminary - and he could come up with a million reasons of why that wasn't the case. "...not all that glitters is really gold."
"Just promise you won't steal anything during our visit..." Jade sternly told Erik; knowing that Erik was a thief, Jade would have to play chaperone for most of the day.
"Why would I steal for? I already got everything that I need. Stop acting like my mom!" As Jade looked sternly at Erik, Waluigi came over to get a closer look at the female martial artist.
"Hey Luminary...who's that smoking hot chick?" Waluigi whispered to the swordsman, while wearing a very perverted smile on his face. A smile that the Luminary took very quick notice of.
"Her name is Jade, keep your hands off of her," the Luminary whispered back, as Waluigi walked closer to Jade. Waluigi was too lovestruck at the moment. "Waluigi, what are you doing?!"
"Uh, creepy guy alert!" shouted Erik, when he saw Waluigi approach Jade and take the martial artist's hand. Jade looked on, dumbstruck, as Waluigi gently caressed her hand.
"Tell me, babe...did it hurt, when you fell down from heaven?" Waluigi asked Jade, who was angered by the lanky man's lousy pickup line. Jade would return the favor by roundhouse kicking Waluigi in the head, sending him flying.
"As I expected, this place is full of strange men," remarked Jade, dusting her hands off as Waluigi landed on the ground and rubbed the back of his head.
Waluigi: Every man loves a no-nonsense woman that can easily kick their butt and show no mercy. Jade definitely fits the bill. She's truly the one.
"We should head inside the tower, next door," the Luminary suggested, as he led his party to the Assist Tower. "There are far less weirdos over there."
"But why can't we go to the mansion first?!" whined Sylvando; even when he was whining, Sylvando was still somewhat loud and charismatic. "How can I give rousing performances, at some lousy tower?"
"We'll go to the mansion later, hold your horses." So the Luminary led his party to the tower, having to be mindful of Waluigi who was writhing in pain on the ground. Shortly after the Luminary and his party entered the tower, Waluigi got up, sporting a grin.
"That roundhouse kick really knocked my head off..." the lanky man remarked, as he packed up his briefcase. "...Jade really must be proving that she already has the hots for me. Time to make her wish come true..."
For whatever reason, Wolf was continuing his matchmaking shtick, for residents apparently were still consulting the mercenary for serious romantic advice. If there was anything Wolf adored about being a matchmaker, it was misleading residents and providing bad advice that the residents would otherwise think of as good. But as many critics have claimed, listening to Wolf talk about romance was like "stupidity in stereo".
One of Wolf's most frequent "customers" was Link, who had yet to make the next move with Zelda...i.e. proposing to the princess of Hyrule. Link and Zelda was the biggest couple at the mansion that had yet to be romantically intertwined, and the long wait was too much for everyone to handle. Surely a so-called romantic expert like Wolf would know the answer to Link's troubles.
"So what you're saying is, if I send suicidal text messages to Candy Kong, it will prove how much Candy really loves me," Donkey Kong spoke with Wolf, in the darkened matchmaking room. What excellent advice, from Wolf O'Donnell himself.
"If she truly cares, then she'll come over to the mansion in a hurry," explained Wolf, as Donkey Kong nodded his head in a very thoughtful manner. "The shorter she keeps you waiting, the more she cares about you."
"But what if Candy never shows up at all? What if she just sees my text messages, and doesn't respond because she thinks that I'm only kidding?"
"Suicide is no laughing matter, Donkey Kong - someone who gives a blind eye to anything pertaining to suicide is obviously a crazy person. Do you wanna have a crazy person for a girlfriend?"
"No way! I've heard it all from Cranky Kong about how a crazy girlfriend can really turn your life upside down. Another question - what if Candy reads my text messages, and then assumes that someone else could resolve my suicidal tendencies?"
"Then that goes on to show you that either Candy is a very lazy person, or doesn't enjoy confrontation. Mix those two together, and you got yourself a bad combo!"
"Good to know, good to know...thank you for your advice, Wolf, I'll see how Candy responds." Donkey Kong would leave the room, as Wolf snickered quietly to himself. The matchmaking thing was a far bigger success than the mercenary had ever imagined.
Donkey Kong: Alright, I just sent Candy a text message, telling her that I plan on jumping off the Space Needle and plummet to my death. I'll give her five minutes to text back...provided she isn't doing her hair or anything. Wonder if that could be a sign of laziness...
Wolf: *chuckles* Those ignorant fools...I just make up random crap on the fly, and they always treat it like it's gospel. Although nothing will ever compare to what I did to Cloud; I nearly put that man through an existential crisis. My matchmaking skills are so on point, they were able to lead Cloud astray; there's no telling what I could do to someone like Samus.
Once Donkey Kong left the room, Wolf sat back in his chair and relaxed, letting out a sigh. He was enjoying matchmaking a lot more than he should. Soon someone come in the matchmaking room, reminding Wolf why matchmaking was sometimes a pain in the butt.
"Wolf, my guy, I gotta ask you something," Link asked the mercenary, who grunted and sat back up in his chair. Link was by far Wolf's least favorite "customer".
"What is it now?" a clearly annoyed Wolf asked Link, hoping that the Hylian would only hang around for a short bit. Anything longer than thirty seconds, and Wolf might lose it.
"Zelda's sick, and I wanna know how I can be the best boyfriend I can possibly be while I nurse Zelda back to strength. I'm not used to being a nurse...I thought that only girlfriends act at nurses to boyfriends, not the other way around."
"Don't you, I don't know, have any potions that can make Zelda feel well again?" Link did carry lots of potions, though there was a good chance at the Hylian had used them up already.
"I do have some...but the effects only last for a few minutes. Nothing permanent." It was getting close to thirty seconds, as Wolf glanced at his watch. Wolf couldn't possibly dispel Link any sooner.
"Tell you what - I'll give you some advice on being a nurse to your significant other." A devious idea appeared in Wolf's mind...one that almost made the mercenary smile deviously. "But you gotta do something first."
"Sure thing, but we gotta make it quick. Can't keep Zelda waiting, you know!" So Wolf got up from his chair and ventured into the darkened part of the room, seemingly opening a closet.
"I've been wanting to do this for a while now..." After Wolf made his comment, he looked back at Link, who had overheard the mercenary and was looking at Wolf with his head cocked to the side. "...I meant to say that in my head, sorry."
Outside in the mansion's backyard, Mario and Luigi were playing some soccer. Toad was the goalkeeper, standing in front of a soccer net and ready for any soccer ball that came his way.
"He shoots...he scores!" shouted Luigi, as he kicked the soccer ball with all his might. The soccer ball sailed past Mario, and zoomed towards the soccer net, where Toad was ready to prove his mettle.
"Here I go!" squealed Toad, as he leaped up to reach the soccer ball...only for the soccer ball to fly over his head, and land far away from the mansion. The sound of a car horn honking was heard, after the soccer ball landed on someone's sweet ride.
"Not again, not my car!" a man was heard shouting, inspecting the damages done to his car. Luigi nervously looked on, with some sympathy. "Honey, we're still being attacked by soccer balls!"
"It's the end of the world as we know it!" the man's wife was heard, sounding like she was in a state of panic.
Master Hand: Our next-door neighbors - some crazy man and his crazy wife - are nothing but conspiracy nutjobs. They're also a part of three different cults. Three. Whenever some weird stuff happens to them, they always blame it on some apocalypse. I can say with a sheer amount of confidence that those two must be growing some pretty good meth in their basement. Hope they don't have kids.
"Luigi what did I tell-a you about kicking with your left-a toe?" Mario asked his twin brother, as Toad went inside the mansion to fetch another soccer ball. "Your left-a toe is too powerful!"
"You said the same-a thing about my right toe," stated Luigi, as Mario looked up in sudden realization. "Maybe I just should stop-a playing soccer..."
"Sup Mario Bros?" Knuckles asked Mario and Luigi, showing up at the backyard along with his entourage - Sonic, Tails, Crash, and begrudgingly Aku. Knuckles would slap Mario on the butt, to grab the plumber's attention.
"I'm sorry, did-a you..." Mario turned around and questioned Knuckles, in very stark disbelief of what the echidna had done to him.
Knuckles: Slapping people on the butt is a great way to let others know that you're the boss. *pauses* Though I wouldn't recommend doing it to women, it could really send the wrong message.
"Did I what?" Knuckles asked Mario, who had a perplexed look on his face. In some ways, Mario felt extremely violated. "What's with that face?"
"Nothing...it's nothing," replied Mario, before shaking his head to shake off his perplexity. He was sure to speak with Knuckles about that butt slap later. "So what-a do you want, Lil Knux?"
"You actually addressed me by my rapper name! Really appreciate it. Anyways, I see that you and Luigi are playing soccer, and I was wondering if you wanna play a little soccer game."
"Did someone say something about a soccer game?" inquired Toad, coming out from the mansion with a soccer ball in his hands.
"You, Luigi, and Toad, vs me and my boys. We can add a few people to our teams, to make things more interesting. So what do you say, Mario?"
"A soccer game, against you and-a your squad..." Mario mused over Knuckles' offer, before finally coming to a decision. "...you got-a yourself a deal!" Mario would shake hands with Knuckles, ready to take Knuckles down.
"Wonder who's gonna be on our team," Sonic spoke with Tails, watching the handshake between Knuckles and Mario. The hedgehog was sure to be the fastest player on the soccer field.
"I really couldn't care less, because I'm not playing," replied Tails, as Sonic looked on in pure shock. Tails really didn't want to associate himself with Knuckles, even if it was in a soccer game.
"Not playing, eh? Well your hand-eye coordination isn't the best, so I can't blame you for walking out." Surely it was more than just Tails' lack of hand-eye coordination...
"You'll probably see me rooting from the sidelines. Though I can't tell you which team I'll be pulling for..."
Elsewhere outside the mansion, Cloud was chilling out in his most favorite spot in the whole world...the hammock. It was a spot where the swordsman could just relax, and not give a care about his troubles or worries. It was a spot where he could be at peace, and not worry about any distractions. Save for a few.
"ELBOW DROP!" shouted Fox, falling down from the tree as he tried to perform an elbow drop on a relaxed Cloud. The pilot missed his target by a couple inches, falling on the ground instead of Cloud.
"Sometimes I wonder how Krystal is able to put up with you..." Cloud said to Fox, looking up at the cloudy sky with his arms folded behind his head. Fox quickly sprung up on his feet, before dusting himself off.
"Meh, to each their own as I would say." Fox would clap his hands together, prepared to speak with Cloud. "So! Cloud Strife, from a scale of one to ten, how interested you are in being a wedding officiant?"
"Still looking for an officiant? Isn't that Falco's job?" Last time Cloud remembered, it was the best man that should be handling most of the wedding day preparations, rather than the groom himself.
"Falco is doing other stuff; he, Peppy, and Slippy are out making a whole bunch of hotel reservations for our wedding guests. Gotta make things as convenient as possible for everyone."
Falco: Fox's wedding is gonna be big, I guarantee you. With the way our wedding budget's looking right now, we have the ability to do everything we want, and then some! Princes Charles and Princess Diana's wedding was only $110 million? *snorts* Bump that...we're gonna shoot for $150 million! The whole wedding will be televised around the world, and Krystal's gonna wear this very long wedding dress with diamonds and stuff, and there's gonna be a fireworks display from the Space Needle, with the Foo Fighters as the performing act. With a Kurt Cobain hologram, to boot. We'll have enough money left in our budget to squeeze that one in.
"If you're looking for a wedding officiant, then you're asking the wrong guy," responded Cloud, shooting down Fox's offer as he got up off the hammock. Fox, now in desperate times and desperate measures, followed after Cloud.
"C'mon Cloud, it's not like you need to pass a whole bunch of qualifications to be one," Fox said to the swordsman, following him to the mansion's backdoor. "All you gotta do is stand in front of a crowd, and say some words, and that's it!"
"Count me out - I just don't think I'm the right guy for the job. Try asking someone else." Cloud would enter the mansion through the backdoor, slamming the door on Fox and locking it shut. Unable to get inside, as he twisted on the doorknob, Fox snapped his fingers in disgust.
"You got locked out too?" Meta Knight asked Fox, as he approached the pilot. It started to rain, which was really putting a damper on things...no pun intended. "Happens to the best of us..."
"Do YOU wanna be a wedding officiant, Meta Knight?" Fox curiously asked the Star Warrior, who just looked at Fox as the rain poured down on his mask. A few seconds later, Meta Knight just walked away.
"Desperation is truly a folly of mankind..." Meta Knight had this to say as he retreated from Fox, who snapped his fingers in disgust once more.
The Luminary was hanging out with his party members in the tower, elated to spend time with folks other than his fellow Heroes. The swordsman took his party to the tower's laundry room, where he wanted to show them some apparel.
"Some skeleton guy named Sans has been giving me shirts, to 'freshen' up my look," the Luminary explained to his party, as he opened one of the dryer machines in the laundry room. "I've been keeping said shirts here in this machine...and for good reason."
"This skeleton guy isn't evil, is he?" asked Jade, who had seen plenty of evil skeleton guys in her lifetime. A good-hearted skeleton dude was a rarity to her.
"No, but he's really good at cracking puns," replied Veronica, way more appreciative of Sans than Team Rocket will ever be. "Guess you could say he's very...pungent."
"Ah, here they are," said the Luminary, pulling out the shirts from the dryer machine and showing them to his party. Erik looked at the phrase on the shirts, squinting his eyes to make sure he wasn't seeing things.
"'Hoes mad'?" the thief uttered the phrase, looking at the t-shirts with his brow furrowed. "Since when did you have your very own harem, Luminary?"
"Are the girls in your harem smoking hot babes?" asked Rab, before Jade shot him down with a scolding glare. That old coot Rab just couldn't handle himself. "...only asking for research purposes."
"I never had a harem before - the 'hoes mad' phrase is just something a bunch of people made up," replied the Luminary, as he placed the shirts on a nearby table. "Could be from a song, I'm assuming..."
Outside the laundry room, Waluigi was having a word with Shadow. The lanky man still had his eyes set on Jade and winning the martial artist's heart, and was now asking Rouge's ex-boyfriend for some advice.
"What is a good mating call for getting Jade's attention?" Waluigi asked Shadow, who was unsure whether or not he should take the lanky man seriously. "Should I do a bird call, or beat on my chest and scream like how Tarzan does?"
"I think both options are viable, if you want Jade to assume that you're a weirdo and an idiot," Shadow offered his two cents; the hedgehog was still heartbroken after that whole Rouge incident, and wanted little to do with any romance whatsoever.
Shadow: Waluigi apparently believes that he could win any woman's heart, and the way he could do that is by being himself. Which always fails spectacularly, each and every time. I feel as if that Waluigi's whole existence was a mistake.
"But which one would work best on Jade?" asked Waluigi, as Shadow grunted and facepalmed at the lanky man. "The Tarzan method could work, but I might strain my vocal chords and give myself chest pain."
"How about you just try being yourself," Shadow suggested to Waluigi; he knew that Waluigi being himself hasn't worked in the past, but it wouldn't hurt to keep on trying, no matter what. "Allow Jade to see the real you."
"The real me...the real me..." Waluigi nodded his head in a convinced manner, exuding a lot more confidence than he should. "...you're right, Shadow - Jade needs to see what I'm really all about!"
"All about what?" asked Mr. Resetti, showing up in the hallway along with Tiki. The mole took a sip from his cup of coffee...
"Waluigi here thinks he could woo some lady friend of the Luminary's," Shadow said to Mr. Resetti, who spat out his coffee all on the floor. Mr. Resetti then started choking, as Tiki applied the Heimlich maneuver.
"Is this some kind of joke, or is Waluigi actually being serious?" Tiki asked Shadow, as she unintentionally hurt Waluigi's feelings. Waluigi's eyes were starting to tear up, as Waluigi wiped away the tears with his arm.
"I'm afraid he's being dead serious; he legit came to me asking for some serious advice." As Shadow gave his reply, the hedgehog took notice of Waluigi, who had already heard enough. Poor guy was feeling so hurt right now.
"Screw all of you guys..." the lanky man said to Shadow and company, before running down the hallway trying to hold back tears. Shadow looked on, while Mr. Resetti finally stopped choking thanks to Tiki's help.
"Thanks for saving me, Tiki - I forgot about that large ice cube in my iced coffee," Mr. Resetti thanked the Manakete, before realizing that Waluigi had left. "Hey, where did Waluigi run off to?! I was gonna ask him about that girl he liked!"
While it rained outside the mansion, Mario was inside the mansion looking for guys to recruit to his soccer team. Luigi and Toad were already on the plumber's squad, and Mario was looking to add more.
"Yup...I can definitely confirm that this is a portrait of Keira Knightley," Zero gave his thoughts on Yusuke's painting, which was in the lounge. Yusuke's favorite spot for painting. Champion Link, Akihiko, Lucario, Dark Pit, and Wario were also there, to check out the painting.
"No way man, that's definitely Natalie Portman!" argued Wario, ready to sucker the punch the face of anyone who dared to disagree with him. "Natalie's eyebrows are pretty thick."
"And so are Keira's," stated Dark Pit, as Wario glared down the doppelganger. Congratulations, Dark Pit, you've earned yourself a sucker punch courtesy of Wario.
"You honestly think that Keira Knightley has thick eyebrows? Good grief, our standards of thickness must be very different!"
"Oh, shut up, Wario, you're just too cowardly to admit that you're wrong about anything," Akihiko said to the fatty, putting him in his place. "This is obviously a portrait of Keira Knightley, no mistake about it!"
"What if - and this is just a theory - what if this isn't a portrait of Natalie Portman or Keira Knightley, but just a portrait of a brunette?" theorized Champion Link, as the others looked at the Hylian like he was all sorts of crazy. "Guys...?"
"You must be real fun at parties, Champion Link..." Lucario said to the Hylian; at least Champion Link got his two cents out there.
Lucario: Thanks to hanging out with Meta Knight, I have a very "disjointed" taste in art...now whenever I see someone's artwork, regardless of form, I expect to see a lot of nudity. Meta Knight's "if it's naked, it's art" mantra has unfortunately given me a dirty mind...
Wario: I just love arguing with people - sticking on one side of the argument and mocking the intelligence of anyone who opposes you is always good fun. Then you have people that wish to stay in the middle and not pick a side, which is a pretty boring path to take.
Mario walked through the hallway when he overheard Zero and company from the lounge, arguing and fighting with one another over Yusuke's painting. The plumber stepped inside the lounge, rubbing his hands together.
"Boys, boys, why must-a you argue among yourselves?" Mario asked everyone in the lounge, trying to play peacemaker. The arguing and fighting soon came to an abrupt stop, when Mario spoke.
"We were, uh, just having a peaceful conversation," said Dark Pit, who had his hands wrapped around Lucario's neck; the doppelganger let go of the aura Pokemon. "Things just got a little out of hand."
"I see what's going on-a here...you all are very tense, at odds with-a each other. Refusing to stand-a on common ground. But, luckily for you, I know just-a the thing to help you guys all get along."
"And just what would that be?" asked Akihiko, before Mario pulled out a soccer ball from his imaginary pocket. Akihiko was confused a second later.
"The thing that will help-a you guys get along is...teamwork! You guys are now a part-a of my soccer team, with Luigi, Toad, and-a myself!"
"Why do you think I wanna be on a team with Luigi?" whined Wario, convinced that Luigi would do nothing but bring the team down. "Let alone these losers standing here with me?"
"You might think-a of the other men as losers, Wario, but at the end-a of the day, you'll start seeing them...as winners." Mario was speaking in an oddly peaceful manner, which was unnerving to some.
"Mario you're starting to sound like a motivational speaker, and I don't like it," Champion Link said to the plumber, who could only respond with a wholesome chuckle. "No, seriously, you're bugging me out..."
"I'm with him, I don't like it," Lucario agreed with Champion Link, as Mario widened his eyes. The plumber smiled and clapped, before backing away and pointing at Champion Link and Lucario, who were both confused.
"Aha, you two both agreed-a on something!" exclaimed Mario, liking the progress he was seeing so far. Even if it was minimal progress. "I can guarantee you that after we win-a our soccer match today, you'll agree on EVERYTHING!"
"Don't mind if I cut you off, but who are we even playing against?" Zero asked Mario; this was the most important question that needed to be answered.
"We're gonna be playing against-a Sonic, Knuckles...maybe Tails, and-a Crash." Knuckles and Crash were fine enough on their own, but Sonic? Zero and company couldn't see themselves beating any squad that had Sonic.
Dark Pit: Dang it, why do we have to play soccer against Sonic?! That guy is gonna run circles around all of us, and make us look silly. I should just play off-ball, so I won't look so bad.
Wario: Why do I have to be a part of Mario's stinking soccer team for? I'm too fat to play! Heck, I can't even bring myself to walk to the bathroom, it's just too much work for poor little me. The one near my room is only six feet away, and reaching it is a struggle!
"Follow me boys!" Mario said to Zero and company, who had no choice but to follow the plumber out of the lounge. "I will lead you all to victory! Just gotta believe in yourselves, and anything will be possible!"
"He's already trying to encourage us with false hope..." mumbled Akihiko, as he left the lounge along with the others. A moment after Mario and his boys left, Yusuke entered the lounge with Chie, to show the young woman his portrait.
"So, Chie, what do you think?" asked Yusuke, as he presented the portrait he worked so hard on. Probably one of his finest works. "A huge improvement from the portrait that Sans had ruined, if I do say so myself."
"Wow, that portrait looks pretty awesome!" Chie offered her take on the portrait, marveling at the colors and texture and such. "But who is it a portrait of? Keira Knightley? Or is it Natalie Portman?"
"Neither of those...just a lovely brunette I saw in one of my dreams." Yusuke looked proudly at his portrait, with a proud smile, while Chie looked at the artist with a bewildered stare. Turns out Champion Link was right.
Link wanted to prove to Zelda how great of a boyfriend he was by nursing the princess back to strength, and the Hylian was relying on Wolf to get the job done. As much as Wolf disliked dealing with Link, the mercenary had no choice but to suck it up, for now.
"Hey Wolf, what's in the box?" Link asked the mercenary, following him through the hallway. The Hylian was wearing blue doctor scrubs, while he was holding the box in question in his hands.
"You won't know until later," replied Wolf, having to make one little pit stop before heading to Zelda's room. "First, we gotta speak with Asuka. She has something that we need..."
"Whatever's inside this box, it seems to be moving a lot..." Link felt a lot of movement from within the box, which only made the Hylian more and more curious. "Can I just take a little peek?"
"What are you, some little kid?! Control yourself, man..." Wolf and Link would soon reach Asuka's room, as Wolf knocked on the bedroom door. Asuka would answer the door seconds later, her room in a jumbled mess. Like she was looking for something.
"Yes, have you seen my volleyball?" Asuka asked Wolf, before looking past the mercenary and seeing Link in scrubs. The ninja girl wasn't used to seeing Link wearing anything other than his tunic, unless he was dressed up as Captain America or the Joker.
"Link and I need to borrow some of your herbal tea," Wolf told Asuka, who was still looking at Link. Which unnerved Wolf, as he snapped his fingers to quickly grab Asuka's attention. "It's for Zelda; she's still under the weather."
"Why is Link dressed up as a doctor for? Those scrubs he's wearing are pretty loose-fitting." Indeed they were, as Link's scrub pants looked very baggy.
"What's the big deal, are you some kind of fashion critic now or something?! Just give me what I came for, and hand over the herbal tea..."
"Could've asked nicely..." Asuka grumbled to herself, as she walked away from the doorway and came back with a tray containing a tea kettle, some teacups, and several tea bags. "...here ya go. Make sure you don't break anything, this stuff isn't cheap!"
"We'll take very good care of it," Wolf assured Asuka, as he accepted the tray from the ninja girl. After thanking Asuka, Wolf walked away, with Link following closely behind with the box.
"Wolf, I'm starting to think that there's someone inside this box," Link told the mercenary, feeling even more movement. The Hylian hoped he wasn't going crazy.
"Nonsense, I've already checked that box before we headed out. Maybe you're moving it around too much. Just keep the box steady, will ya?"
Fox was beside himself in the foyer, after being turned down by both Cloud and Meta Knight. The pilot was still looking for a wedding officiant, and he had to find one soon before it was too late.
"Just who should I ask...?" Fox wondered, deep in thought as he was resting his back against the wall. There were plenty of folks that Fox could ask, but the pilot was understandably afraid of being turned down once more.
"Fox what are you thinking about over there?" Krystal asked the pilot, as she entered the foyer. Fox suddenly tried to play it cool, resting his hand against the wall in a cool pose while smiling.
"Oh, nothing, just thinking about our wedding!" Krystal wasn't that dense of a person; the vixen could easily see through Fox's cool pose.
"Uh huh...well, have you found an officiant yet? You and Falco sure know how to keep me waiting." If Krsytal cared so much, then maybe she should look for an officiant, too!
"I'm glad you asked, because we already found one!" Fox spotted Meta Knight walking by, as he picked him up and showed him to Krystal. "Meet the officiant of our wedding, Meta Knight!"
"He's only kidding you, I literally turned down his offer an hour ago," Meta Knight explained to Krystal, as Fox laughed heartily at the Star Warrior. A burning indignation was building inside Fox.
"That Meta Knight, he's SO funny!" Not appreciative of being exposed, Fox tossed Meta Knight to the side, still laughing his butt off. "A perfect choice for..."
"Be honest, Fox - have you found an officiant or not?" Krystal asked her fiance, as she folded her arms. Fox now had no choice but to come clean.
"...we're still working on it. It ain't easy being turned down left and right, you know."
Waluigi had his feelings hurt, when Tiki questioned why the lanky man was serious about winning over Jade's heart. But nonetheless, Waluigi was still committed to making Jade his lover, one way or another. One idea he had in mind was wooing Jade, through the use of poetry. And who better to ask about poetry, than Alucard?
"Since you enjoy reading poems, I thought that maybe you could help me out with this poem I wrote for Jade," Waluigi said to Alucard, who was reading a book in the tower's mini-library. Alucard was doing his best to tune out Waluigi.
"I would only listen if this poem is top-notch quality," stated Alucard, who had strong doubts about Waluigi's writing ability. Alucard was as high-standard as they come. "But because I'm in a good mood, I'll let you read it out loud..."
"Excellent! Here it goes!" Waluigi cleared his throat and took out a sheet of paper, ready to read his romantic poem. "'Plumbers are red, hedgehogs are blue...plug in that controller, and be my player two.'"
"Okay, I think I've heard enough." Alucard indignantly closed the book he was reading (not forgetting to bookmark his page) as he rose up from his seat. Wasn't hard to tell how the half-vampire felt about Waluigi's poem.
"Funny you should say that, because that was the end of my poem. Was gonna add a few more stanzas, but I couldn't think of anything tight."
"No no no...that poem makes zero sense in context. Do you even know if Jade plays video games? From what I've seen from her during her visit, she's too old-fashioned, just like the Luminary's other allies."
"Exactly, which is why I plan on introducing her to playing video games. Then we'll start to bond with each other over time, and then we'll realize the romantic affection we have for one another, and then..."
"Shh..." Alucard shushed Waluigi, placing his index finger on the lanky man's lips, as he heard some talking nearby. The half-vampire looked behind a bookshelf, and saw the Luminary and party in the mini-library, checking out some magazines.
"Oh ho ho, Fully Clothed Women!" gleamed Rab - the only person actually reading the magazines - as he was checking out the ladies in the magazine he was reading. "Where have you been all my life?!"
"Yeah, I don't understand why that magazine exists either," the Luminary said to his other party members, who were judging Rab. The swordsman looked down and saw Kururuin, pilot of the Herilin machine, with the latest issue of Lady Swimwear.
"I'm not reading this, mind you," Kururin assured the Luminary, as he pointed at the magazine he was holding. "Just trying to keep them out of reach from Dr. Wright...he's quite obsessed."
"My Lady Swimwear magazine, where is it?!" Dr. Wright was heard screaming, as Kururin hightailed out of the miniature library.
Kururin: We've been doing our best to keep those magazines away from Dr. Wright...obviously we haven't been doing a very good job.
"I'm so BORED!" cried Sylvando, about to have a mental breakdown of sorts as the performer fell down on his knees. "Luminary, when are we leaving? I need to give a world-famous performance!"
"Soon, Sylvando, soon..." the Luminary replied, as Jade looked over and saw Waluigi. Waluigi ducked behind the bookshelf when he saw Jade, who furrowed her brow.
"Jade still has the hots for me, I can already tell..." Waluigi whispered to Alucard with a snicker, as Alucard looked to the heavens and shook his head.
The Mario Bros and Toad were in the backyard, joined by the men that Mario had recruited - Zero, Champion Link, Lucario, Dark Pit, Wario, and Akihiko. Everyone was dressed up for the soccer game, wearing red soccer kits.
"Mario and Luigi, why do we have to be dressed up for?" questioned Wario, who was wearing the most ill-fitting soccer kit thanks to his weight. The shirt and shorts were very tight on the fatso's body. "This ain't a professional game!"
"We're wearing these-a soccer kits to showing teamwork, and unity," explained Mario, as some of the plumber's teammates rolled their eyes. Mario was really jamming this whole concept of teamwork down everyone's throats. "To show the world-a how united we are!"
"And by 'the world', you mean anyone who bothers to stops by and watch our soccer game," assumed Lucario; that, or Mario was referring to some kind of Stand, let alone at Stand user.
"Everyone has their own-a interpretation, but yes." Mario looked over to Toad, who was happily standing in front of a soccer net. "Toad here will serve-a as our goalie. The rest of you guys can decide-a on what position you'll play."
"What even are the positions?" inquired Champion Link, who had the least knowledge of soccer out of everyone else. "You're not doing a good job at explaining things, Mario!"
"You can play as a defender, midfielder, or a forward," explained Luigi, ready to put his soccer knowledge to good use. "Defenders play behind-a midfielders and prevent-a the opponent from scoring; midfielders keep-a possession of the ball and take-a the ball away from defenders; and forwards score-a goals and put their team-a mates in scoring position."
"Guess I'll be a defender then," said Wario, who wished to do the least work on Mario's soccer team. That was just how he rolled.
"I think I could play at the midfielder position," said Dark Pit, fancying himself as a great midfielder. The doppelganger sure was confident...
"And I'll-a be the star forward!" exclaimed Luigi as he pumped his fists...only for Mario to calm the plumber down by putting his hand on his back.
"No sir - not after those-a blunders you had earlier today," Mario said to Luigi, recalling the soccer balls Luigi had kicked into the crazy neighbors' front yard. Luigi held his head low in sadness. "I'll be the forward; you can play mid-a fielder with Dark Pit."
"Ah, finally got yourself a squad..." remarked Knuckles, showing up at the backyard. The echidna was accompanied by Sonic, Crash, and his other teammates - Sans, Skull Kid, Corrin, Greninja, Spring Man, and Pigma Dengar. Tails, staying true to his word, was not a part of Knuckles' team.
"And I see you got yourself a squad-a too," Mario said to Knuckles, as he was staring down the echidna. "Ready to go-a down?"
"I like your soccer kits, Mario, pretty cool threads!" Spring Man commended the plumber, causing Knuckles to grit his teeth and slap his forehead.
"Shut up, Spring Man, you'll give the other team confidence..." Knuckles scolded the ARMS fighter, before redirecting his attention to Mario. "...I think it's gonna be you who will be going down! Somebody get a ref...
Tails: Yeah...I'm just gonna stay inside. For my sanity.
To prove to Krystal that they had the officiant search in the bag, Fox and Falco gathered several men in the Star Records room - Erdrick, Captain Falcon, Pac-Man, Shovel Knight, Ryu, Robin...and Itsuki. Itsuki was the most nervous out of all the men, looking afraid as he bit his knuckle.
"So, you're all wondering why we gathered you here, aren't you?" Falco asked the men in the Star Records room, as he looked around. "Anyone want to take a guess? Anyone at all?"
"It's about the officiant thing at the wedding, isn't it?" asked Itsuki, before looking up at the ceiling and burying his face in his hands. "I knew it was coming, I just knew it..."
"Settle down, Itsuki, it's okay if you really want to be an officiant," Fox told the young man, oblivious to how much Itsuki resented being an officiant in the first place. "Hold your excitement!"
"I thought you said this would be a meeting that would impact the lives of many," stated Ryu, holding up his finger so he could be recognized. Shovel Knight would comfort Itsuki, during his moment of grief.
"This is a meeting that would impact the lives of many...not only Krsytal and I, but the lives of everyone in attendance! We need an officiant who can do such a great job, that it'll inspire other people to get married!"
"...I don't see where the correlation is, or how that would even work, but the more power to you." Having nothing else to say, Ryu put his hand down as he sat back in his seat. No point in arguing against Fox.
"Wait, why am I one of the candidates selected?" questioned Erdrick; the hero really felt like the odd man out. "I'm too young to be a wedding officiant!"
"You can never be too young to officiate a wedding," stated Falco, wondering how much pub having a young officiant like Erdrick would bring to the wedding. "You're also a legendary hero, which gives you a lot of cred."
"Can I be the officiant of the wedding, pretty please?" asked Pac-Man, as he raised his hand. Being a wedding officiant would be more than a great opportunity for the eater of ghosts. "I did help plan a wedding before!"
"You think you're just gonna get the job just by begging?" Fox scolded Pac-Man, who put his hand back down and looked down at the floor. "That's no way to do it. You lost points, Pac-Man. Tell you what - everyone meet me outside, and we'll decide who wins the officiant job."
"But why do we have to meet outside for, why can't you just make a decision right now?" questioned Robin, wanting to return to his previous activities.
"Nobody talks to the groom like that...you just lost yourself some points, Robin. Now everyone outside! Move it, move it!"
Zelda was dealing with the common cold, resting in her bed with a runny nose and a slight fever. Cloud and Midna were around to keep the princess company, as Zelda wrote in her personal diary.
"Looks like we have a visitor..." Midna informed Zelda, who looked up when she heard someone knock on her bedroom door. Midna would answer the door, and see Meta Knight standing at the doorway.
"Hola," Meta Knight would greet Midna in his native Latin tongue, before stepping inside Zelda's room. The Star Warrior was carrying a bowl of chicken noodle soup. "Princess Zelda, how are you feeling?"
"Feeling somewhat better - still congested, but my fever is dying down," replied Zelda, before letting out a giant sneeze that even scared Cloud. Cloud jumped back out of fright, as Meta Knight now had mucus over his mask.
"...obviously your sneezing hasn't gone away. Anyways, I've prepared you a bowl of chicken noodle soup. Just the thought that counts." Meta Knight placed the bowl of soup on Zelda's dresser, before wiping off the mucus on his mask with his cape.
"Thank you, Meta Knight." Zelda took the bowl of soup and the spoon that came with it and started eating, as Meta Knight left the room. While Meta Knight's mask was now clean, the same couldn't be said for his cape...
"You seem pretty rattled there," Midna smirked at Cloud, who was still pretty shook after Zelda's sneeze scared the crap out of him. Cloud did his best to play it cool, as Link and Wolf entered the room.
"Hey Zelda, I'm back!" Link said to the princess, adorned in his blue doctor scrubs. One good look at Link, and Zelda had to hold her mouth to hold in her laughter.
"Link why are you wearing those baggy scrubs for?" Cloud questioned his best friend, while Zelda put her bowl of soup down in the event she might accidentally spill it from laughing too hard.
"Always so quick to judge...I'm wearing these scrubs because I'm a nurse. A male nurse. Gonna nurse Zelda back to full strength!"
Midna: Link honestly believes that he could nurse Zelda back to full strength? *sighs* It's such a good thing that we have an actual nurse around. That way, not all hope is lost.
"Zelda why are you giggling for?" Link asked the princess, who was all giggles, before looking down at his crotch area. "Is my fly down? That zipper almost never works when I want it to..."
"Those pants don't even have a zipper, you doof..." Wolf told Link, as he put the tea kettle and teacups on Zelda's dresser, moving the bowl of soup to the side. "...Link and I brought you some tea, Princess Zelda."
"That's very nice of you," responded Zelda, as her giggling slowly died down. Partly because she was looking away from Link. Poor Link still had no idea what was so funny, felt so left out.
"Give her the box..." Wolf whipsered to Link, who suddenly realized that he was still holding the box in his hands. Link gave the box to Zelda, who was delighted.
"Is this some kind of gift? Something to make me feel better?" Zelda looked at the box curiously, before putting it to the side on her bed. "Well whatever it is, I'll see once I'm through with my soup."
"And your tea," added Wolf, before backing away towards the door. "I should get going now - someone might need my matchmaking advice!" The mercenary then left the room. Just what was inside that box...?
With Mario and Knuckles having found a referee to call the soccer game in Cortex, the soccer game was now underway. Mario's team and Knuckles' team were now playing against one another, with Pit, Kirby, Incineroar, and Doc Louis cheering from the sidelines.
"Let's go team, go team go!" cheered Pit, unsure of what team he should root for. He should just go the Yoshi route, and remain neutral.
"Go and break a leg out there!" Doc Louis called out to everyone on the field, before thinking over what he had said. "Actually, don't break a leg! Don't follow my advice, it ain't worth it!"
Lucario was maneuvering over the field with the soccer ball, moving past Skull Kid and Corrin who were coming after him. The aura Pokemon then saw Akihiko, near the goal, in scoring position.
"Akihiko, here!" Lucario called out the boxer's name, as he passed the soccer ball to Akihiko. Akihiko caught the ball with his foot and kicked it...only for it to strike Aku, who was hovering around the goal. Crash was the goaltender, and Aku had to be at Crash's side at all times.
"Uh, does that count?" Akihiko asked Cortex, while Aku floated around dazed and confused from being hit. Cortex pulled out a book, which was labeled "soccer rules".
"Let me see..." Cortex flipped through the pages, looking for any rule about accidentally striking floating masks in the face, but couldn't find anything. "...hmm, doesn't say anything about striking floating masks in the face with a soccer ball. But I can still award you with a goal, regardless!"
"A goal, for what?!" frowned Knuckles, who already wasn't liking where this soccer game was headed. "For hitting Aku in the face with the ball?! Aku isn't supposed to be here, he's not playing!"
"Wherever Crash is, I have to be at," Aku stated matter-of-factly, fully recovered from the soccer ball to the face. "Especially when Crash is playing sports."
"sure got a real kick from getting hit in the face, that's for sure," Sans said to Aku, unable to resist the opportunity of cracking a pun. Aku frowned at the skeleton.
Tails: You guys don't have to fill me in on what's going on in the soccer game, it's no biggie. If Knuckles' team loses, and Knuckles is sulking and stuff, then me sitting out will be worth it.
Play would resume, after Team Mario was awarded with a goal that put them in the lead. Greninja now had the ball, moving towards Team Mario's goal.
"Keep on moving, Greninja, I got you covered..." said Pigma, who was running behind Greninja and trying to keep up. The pig was huffing and puffing, slowly running out of breath, as Wario stole the ball from Greninja.
"Ha ha, suckers!" Wario taunted Greninja and Pigma, as the latter fainted to the ground from exhaustion. Wario was running with the ball, before slowing down when he realized that something was wrong. "Dang it, I'm too fat!"
"Pass it over here!" Zero called out to Wario, as he waved his hand. Wario would kick the ball to the robot, only for the ball to be intercepted by Sonic.
"You can't catch me!" said Sonic as he was now running with the soccer ball, unwilling to give it up. The hedgehog ran towards Team Mario's goal, and kicked the ball into the goal with all his might...only for Toad to make the save with his mushroom head.
"Nice-a save!" Mario commended Toad, giving him a thumbs up, as Knuckles growled and stomped his foot angrily. The echidna mean mugged Sonic, as the hedgehog ran by.
"Chill out Knuckles, at least I tried..." Sonic told the echidna, slowly starting to see why Tails objected to playing on Knuckles' team. Knuckles was taking the game a little too seriously.
The Luminary took his party to the mansion, having crossed the bridge to get there. Waluigi was following closely behind the Luminary and his friends, trying not to make it seem like he was stalking them. It was clear as day who Waluigi had his sights on.
"This mansion is so lovely!" exclaimed Sylvando, with a giant grin on his face with his arms outstretched. "I could live here for days on end! Such spectacle, such uniqueness, such excitement at every corner!"
"Someone is easily impressed," Erik murmured to Veronica; Sylvando was only in the mansion for a minute or two, and was already floored. His day was now made.
"Can't wait till you're all mine, Jade..." Waluigi said creepily as he smiling at the newest love of his life, Jade. The lanky man kept close behind the Luminary and his party, before bumping into Wolf.
"Hey, didn't you see me coming from the corner?" Wolf snapped on Waluigi; good thing the mercenary wasn't carrying Asuka's tea set, otherwise something bad would've happened. "Trying to walk here!"
"Forgive me, Wolf, I was just lovestruck," apologized Waluigi, as Wolf went from salty to intrigued in a heartbeat. Time for the mercenary to work his magic. "One of the Luminary's lady friends caught my attention."
"It's not Serena, is it?" Shaking his head no to Wolf's question, Waluigi would point down the hallway, at Jade. Wolf managed to catch a glimpse of Jade's face, as Jade was speaking with the Luminary.
"Not gonna lie, she looks tough as nails...I think she might be your type. What's her name?"
"Jade. She's a martial artist, from what I've gathered. She would totally kick my butt."
"I have to agree with you on that...but I can help you hook up with her. Here's what you can do..."
The soccer game was now tied at 1-1, with Sonic having scored for their Team Knuckles. Luigi had the ball, and was trying to score...
"Don't you even think-a about it..." Mario warned Luigi, inadvertently causing his twin brother to freeze up in place. Taking advantage of the opportunity, Sans took the ball from Luigi and ran the other way.
"much obliged, kind sir," Sans thanked Luigi, who was still frozen in place as Mario tried to snap his brother out of it. Sans then passed the ball to Spring Man, who kicked the ball towards Team Mario's net. The ball sailed past Toad, who came up short as the ball went into the net.
"GOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLL!" shouted Knuckles, sounding like a Spanish soccer commentator, as he acted as if he had scored the goal. The echidna celebrated by running around the field, pumping his fists.
"That means Knuckles' team is up 2-1, right?" Pit asked Kirby, who nodded his head. If Tails were watching Knuckles right now, he'd be shaking his head.
Doc Louis: *pointing at the field as Knuckles continues his celebration* That's freaking soccer right there! None of that pansy wansy smile for the camera crap. Men puke, men poop on the field, men deliver their new born baby on the sidelines. Freaking hardcore get-yo-butt-cheeks-clapped butterball futbol suck it chuck it game time stuff.
Pit: Doc Louis, you delivered a new born baby on the sidelines during a soccer game?
Doc Louis: Who...who told you?!
Zelda was all done with her chicken noodle soup, and had drank most of her tea. Cloud and Midna still kept the princess company, while Link nursed the princess back to full strength...by doing nothing but stand around.
"Some nurse you're supposed to be," Cloud told Link, who was watching Zelda finish up her cup of tea. Very closely...probably a little too close for comfort.
"I'm just making sure that Zelda is doing everything without my assistance," defended Link, unknowingly proving to Cloud how needless he was. But at least he was with his girlfriend. "I'll take that teacup off your hands, Zelda."
"Thanks," responded Zelda, as she handed the teacup to Link. Link placed the teacup on Zelda's dresser, looking at Cloud in a mocking manner.
"So, Princess Zelda, are you gonna open up that box or what?" Midna asked the princess, just dying to know what was inside the box Link had given to Zelda. Since the box originally came from Wolf, who knows what was inside...
"I suppose now would be a good time." So Zelda grabbed the box, and before she took off the lid, the princess discovered some holes at the bottom of the box, which she had felt. "Why does this box have holes, Link?"
"Got me, princess..." shrugged Link, for not even the Hylian himself knew! Created quite a mystery. "...Wolf just told me to give it to you."
Now more curious than before, Zelda took the lid off the box, unsure of what to expect. And to her surprise, a small white guardian spirit of sorts poked its head out of the box, looking up at Zelda.
"Dang it, that thing looks adorably cute..." Midna grumbled to Cloud, in disbelief that she was describing a creature with very positive adjectives. "Zelda's gonna fall in love with it in three, two..."
"Aw, I love it!" gleamed Zelda, all smiles as she held the guardian spirit tightly, close to her chest. "I really don't know what it is, but...thank you, Link!"
"Uh...you're welcome?" smiled Link, who had no idea what was inside the box this whole time. But now he knew!
"Let me see the box..." Cloud said to Zelda, who handed the swordsman the box. Cloud saw the holes on the box, and also saw a name written at the bottom. "There's a name on this box...it says 'Ori'."
"That must be the name of this delicate little creature, then," assumed Zelda, as she was caressing the guardian creature, Ori, in her loving arms. "I suppose Ori can be my little pet!"
"Better not make him your guardian angel and protector..." muttered Midna, who was feeling a mean jealous streak coming on as she glared at Ori. "That's my job..."
The soccer game between Team Mario and Team Knuckles was tied once more, as Dark Pit scored a goal to even things up. Since Mario and Knuckles were playing up to three goals, whichever team scored first would win the game.
"Pass-a me the ball!" Luigi, who was in scoring position, called out to Zero, who had the ball. Zero looked towards Mario, who shook his head. Mario wanted the soccer ball to stay within the mansion boundaries.
"Um...whoops!" said Zero, making it seem like he was passing the ball to Luigi, but instead kicked it to Mario. Sonic would intercept the ball, showing off his blazing speed as he zipped past Mario's teammates.
"Mama mia, if Sonic scores, we lose!" fretted Mario, as he chased after sonic...or at least tried to. Sonic was soon in scoring position, staring down Toad as he neared Team Mario's goal...
"NOOOOO I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE!" Itsuki was heard shouting, from the front of the mansion. Itsuki's shout messed up Sonic, as the hedgehog kicked but missed the ball, and fell on his butt.
"Time-a out!" Mario called out to Cortex, giving the evil genius the timeout signal. Cortex granted Team Mario a timeout, though Knuckles for whatever reason was against it.
"You can't just give them a timeout!" Knuckles snapped on Cortex, exhibiting typical behavior from soccer coaches when things never go their way. "You haven't even given us a chance to veto it."
"It's impossible to veto a timeout in any sport, even you know that, Knuckles..." Cortex had to inform Knuckles, who was seething as Sonic came over and placed his hand on the echidna's back.
"You need to chill out, buddy..." Sonic told Knuckles, bringing the echidna over to the sidelines while Mario went to the front of the mansion to investigate. Why was Itsuki acting like such a drama queen for?
When Mario entered the front yard of the mansion, he was confused when he saw rows of folding chairs about, and the Rabbids sitting in them. The Rabbids were doing nonsensical things, like reading the newspaper, blowing bubbles, licking the folding chairs, so on and so forth. Erdrick, Captain Falcon, Pac-Man, Shovel Knight, Ryu, and Robin were at the front, where Fox and Falco were seen consoling Itsuki who was down on all fours.
"...should I even bother asking what's-a going on?" Mario asked the men, as he walked through the rows of folding chairs to where Fox and company where. "Why is Itsuki acting like-a he is?"
"Poor guy just couldn't handle the pressure, such a shame," replied Fox, before shaking his head in dismay. He thought that Itsuki would be the one, but obviously he and Falco never got the memo.
"Couldn't handle the pressure of-a what? Why are the Rabbids assembled-a together? Is this some-a kind of practice?"
"It is practice...practice to see which one of us is worthy of being wedding officiant!" explained Shovel Knight, as Mario know understood what the Rabbids were doing out of the basement. But he was still confused. "This is supposed to be a 'test run'."
"Fox and Falco is having us take turns, to see how we could handle a large crowd," added Captain Falcon; Fox and Falco could've picked someone much better than a bunch of stinking Rabbids. "Erdrick and I already went."
"I can't do this, I'm not ready yet..." said Itsuki, looking down at the ground, as Fox gave the young man a reassuring back massage. Like that would make Itsuki feel any better. Mario sighed, as he came over to Fox and Falco.
"Still on-a the hunt for an officiant, eh?" Mario asked Fox and Falco, who both begrudgingly nodded their heads. "How about I help-a you end your search?"
"You found us an officiant for the wedding?!" asked a very giddy Fox, as he and Falco were suddenly all ears. "Who is it, is it someone cool?!"
"One could make-a an argument that he is...the officiant, for your wedding, Fox McCloud...is me!"
Mario: I've always wanted to know what it would-a be like to officiate a wedding - to be in charge-a of a wedding ceremony, and have the bride-a and groom say their vows. It would be some-a thing worth telling my kids about - whether they want to hear-a it or not.
Expecting to receive approval from Fox and Falco, Mario was instead met with bewilderment from the pilots. Fox and Falco looked at Mario, like they were expecting him to claim that he was just telling a joke.
"Bruh, why would we want you to be the officiant?" Falco questioned Mario, who was pretty offended. Almost like Falco didn't believe that Mario was good enough. "No offense, but you're too short for the job."
"Whaddaya mean, I'm-a 'too short'?" retorted Mario, not recalling any sort of height rule for being a wedding officiant. Unless Falco was just making up random rules on the fly.
"We need someone who's as tall or taller than the bride and groom. Last thing we'd want is for the officiant to be overshadowed in height by a man and woman that's about to be married. Right, Fox?"
"I dunno, Falco...I think Mario might be our last option left," replied Fox, as he mulled whatever options he might have remaining. The pilot soon came to his decision. "Alright, Mario...you got the job. You're gonna be the officiant, for my wedding!"
"Yippee!" cheered Mario, as he jumped into the air and pumped his fist. Mario was now officially the officiant for Fox and Krystal's wedding; a huge task on the wedding to-do list was now fulfilled. "Bet you glad-a that I asked, huh?"
"We'll make sure to find you a stool to stand on, when you're officiating the wedding," Falco said to Mario, as Fox stared down his avian buddy for his very disrespectful comment. "I was just kidding!"
With the whole officiant thing now settled, Mario happily returned to the backyard, where there was some tension taking place. Not with the two teams, rather, but with Toad and Asuka, with the latter holding the soccer ball.
"What did I tell you about stealing my volleyball and disgusting it as a soccer ball?" Asuka scolded Toad, who was left shivering in fear. Toad was in some pretty exclusive company, being able to anger Asuka so much.
"Well you see...the last soccer ball we had ended up in the neighbor's yard," Toad meekly explained, although Asuka was hardly convinced. "And I couldn't find another soccer ball in the mansion, so..."
Dark Pit: Hold up...we have neighbors other than Mario and the others? First time hearing about this...
Zero: Crazy Hand said that the neighbors are nothing but conspiracy nut cultists. So they're not worth worrying about...for the time being.
"You literally took my volleyball, and painted it to make it look like a soccer ball," said Asuka, as she showed Toad her volleyball and how the paint was running off. "Don't know how you did it, or how long it took you, but I don't like it!"
"I'm sure you can just wash it off," Toad chuckled nervously, as Asuka's glare grew in intensity. Asuka pulled out a soccer ball - a legit soccer ball, and tossed it to Toad before heading back inside the mansion.
"Just continue your stupid soccer ball..." Asuka mumbled to Toad, as she left the premises. Cortex took the soccer ball from Toad, before placing it on the ground in the middle of the field.
"...we'll just pretend that we played with an actual soccer ball, everyone agree?" the mad genius asked the soccer players, who all nodded their heads. "Okay then, resume play!"
Mario and Knuckles stood near the ball, as Cortex blew his whistle. Mario would strike first, kicking the ball as he maneuvered past Knuckles. The plumber, sensing Knuckles' presence, passed the ball to Zero, who then passed it to Dark Pit, who then passed it to Lucario, who then passed it to Wario, who then passed it to Akihiko, who then passed it to Champion Link...who then passed it to Mario. Just who was gonna score?
"Pass-a me the ball!" Luigi called out to Mario, already in scoring position. But Mario was unwilling to take a chance, especially with the game on the line.
"No, you'll kick-a the ball over the fence again!" responded Mario, running from side-to-side so the opposing team would be nowhere near the ball. Knuckles found it hard to keep up with Mario.
"Trust-a me, I got this!" Resentfully, Mario sighed and passed the ball to Luigi. Using the toe on his right food, Luigi would kick the ball with all his might...
...and instead of kicking the ball over the soccer net, Luigi kicked the ball straight into the net! Crash, unable to make the save, landed on the ground as Luigi had scored the game-winning goal.
"YEAAAAAHH!" cheered Luigi, skidding down to his knees as he shook his fists in celebration. Mario came over to Luigi, happily giving his twin brother a hug.
"Everyone-a get over here!" Mario called out to his teammates, who rushed over to Mario and Luigi. Mario got everyone in a celebratory group huddle, joined together in arms. Knuckles' teammates walked off the field. "Team-a work makes the dream-a work!"
"We gave it our best shot," Sonic said to Knuckles, before extending his hand out for a handshake. Knuckles looked down at Sonic's hand, before walking away along with his other teammates. And Cortex...was chased off the field by a goose. The same goose that bothered him, in the last episode.
Doc Louis: *pointing Team Mario's celebratory group huddle* Now THAT'S freaking soccer right there! None of that pansy wansy... *pauses* ...for the record, I never delivered a baby at a soccer game. Totally made that up. Hehe...
Sonic: Looking back on it, I should've stayed with Tails in the mansion during that soccer game. Teach Knuckles a lesson, you know?
"So, did you guys learned-a the true meaning of teamwork?" Mario asked his teammates - specifically those who were arguing over Yusuke's painting. Which was just a painting of some generic brunette, apparently.
"I guess we did," replied Dark Pit, as the others nodded their heads. "Honestly, I'm just glad that we won. I hate losing."
"Three cheers for Luigi!" exclaimed Toad, as Luigi's teammates hoisted the plumber over their shoulders. "Hip hip..."
Krystal: Just heard from Fox that Mario is the officiant for our wedding. Pretty decent choice. Falco apparently thinks that Mario is "too short", but who cares what he thinks? It's not his wedding.
The Luminary and his party where in the foyer, as Erik, Sylvando, Rab, and Jade were ready to depart. For the Luminary, spending a day with some good friends was always a good day - which made it hard for the swordsman to say goodbye.
"Shoot, I wished I could've given everyone a rousing performance..." griped Sylvando, as his grand opportunity was wasted. Maybe another time. "...that lecture hall looked like a perfect spot!"
"I highly doubt that Master Hand would grant mansion guests a performance," stated the Luminary; Sonia Strumm would have something to say about that. "Even if he did, he would curtail your performance so much."
"Really wish I could've brought those Fully Clothed Women magazines back home with me..." moaned Rab, as the others gave him weird looks. No way would Dr. Wright let those magazines go out of his sight. "...I just wanted to burn them."
"We know what you're all about, Rab - don't try and hide it," Erik said to the old man, slapping him on the back. Soon Waluigi appeared in the foyer, holding a box; Wolf was behind him.
"Do it now..." Wolf whispered to Waluigi, who walked towards Jade. The moment Jade saw Waluigi, the martial artist was on edge...and so were her friends.
"I know why you're here...you're trying to make me fall in love with you," Jade said to Waluigi, knowing what the lanky man's true intentions were. "You honestly believe that you could stand a chance with me?"
"I just wanted to give you a gift, before you go," replied Waluigi, as he held out the box. Jade looked at the box very suspiciously. "It's nothing romantic...I think."
"What do you think is inside that box?" Erik whispered to the Luminary, as Waluigi crept closer to Jade; Jade backed away cautiously.
"Waluigi went to the store earlier today, and bought roses, heart-shaped candy, and a bottle of cologne," the Luminary whispered back, as Waluigi now had Jade cornered, right where he wanted her. "The cologne might not be in the box, but the candy and roses could be..."
"If I accept your...gift, will you leave me alone?" Jade asked Waluigi, as Waluigi was too close for comfort. Truthfully, Waluigi never valued personal space - anyone else's and even his own.
"I promise," replied Waluigi, as he handed the box to Jade. Jade reluctantly accepted the box, looking at Waluigi before slowly lifting up the box lid. When Jade took off the box lid and looked inside the box, she saw something that prompted her to slap Waluigi in the face.
"What on earth is wrong with you?! Have you no shame?" Jade was left very angry at Waluigi, who was confused. Wolf was confused, looking on from the distance with a dumbfounded stare.
"Waa, you didn't like my gift?" Disgusted, Jade put her hand inside the box, and took out...a teddy bear. Not just any teddy bear, mind you - a dingy, torn up, and ugly-looking teddy bear. It was wearing a shirt, that read "GET WELL SOON...NOT!".
"What kind of gift is this to give to someone?" Jade tossed the teddy bear at Waluigi's head, as Waluigi ducked and shielded himself with his hands. "You wouldn't give it to your girlfriend, would you?"
"No, no I wouldn't! It must be some kind of mix-up. I don't know what happened!" Wolf seemed to know what happened, looking on as he bit his nails.
"Crap, I must've grabbed the wrong box..." the mercenary assumed, as he was putting the pieces together in his head. "But if Waluigi has that box, then that must mean I gave the other box to..."
"Seriously, you're gonna be sick of obsessing over that thing," Midna told Zelda, who was still pretty sick, as she walked by with Ori in her arms. Wolf saw Ori, his mouth agape. "You'll be done with it very soon."
"He, Midna, not it," Zelda corrected Midna, who rolled her eyes, as Wolf's head turned as Zelda walked right back. "You don't have to be so jealous."
Wolf: That box with the teddy bear...that was meant for Zelda. I wanted Link to give it to her, and then she would think it's funny and stuff. Or she would think the exact opposite. Either way, I just needed to get rid of that teddy bear, that's all. But that guardian angel...I got it in the mail the other day, as strange as it sounds. It's named Ori, according to the name on the box. My plan was for Waluigi to give Ori to Jade as a gift, so he could win her over and junk...but thanks to my huge error, Jade might never acknowledge Waluigi's existence ever again.
"I can explain!" Waluigi said to Jade, who chased the lanky man out of the foyer as the Luminary and company looked on with amused faces. Wolf sighed to himself, as Link approached the mercenary from behind still wearing his scrubs.
"I'm starting to think that you gave me the wrong box, by mistake," Link told Wolf, who was now thinking of himself as the biggest idiot in the world right now. "But Zelda did like that Ori creature, so it was a win-win."
"Tell me something I don't know..." grumbled Wolf, the sound of Waluigi screaming for his life permeating his ears. His matchmaking career - if you even want to call it a career - took a major hit today.
But, as the old saying goes, you miss a hundred percent of the shots you don't take.