Author's Note:
This is a chapter based around two games that were released today...Animal Crossing: New Horizons, and Doom Eternal. Honestly, it makes me sick to the core that such a violent game is out on the market - what irresponsible parent would buy their child New Horizons, amirite?! At least Doom Eternal is more wholesome and child-friendly. Jokes aside, let's answer some reviews:
"Since Presea is using her voice from the Symphonia sequel can you have a scene of her interacting with Lysithea? (Janice Kawaye voices them) will there be tensions between the Dead or Alive and Tekken characters? (The creator of DOA hates Tekken) a scene of Bea from Pokemon Sword working out with Wii Fit Trainer, Lucario, and Incineroar? Is King Dedede using his voice from the Kirby anime? And finally, what do you hope to see from a Nintendo Direct? (Since E3 got canceled)"
Perhaps. There won't be any tension between the DoA and Tekken characters (didn't know the DoA creator even hated Tekken...). Bea might be working out with those characters you mentioned, if/when she appears. King Dedede is indeed using his voice from the Kirby anime (been waiting for someone to ask me that). And I don't know what to expect from a Nintendo Direct. I'd like to think that they would do a Direct this month, and then in June around the time that E3 would usually take place. We have a review from an early chapter, provided by Harrison:
"I know this chapter was BEFORE Super Mario Odyssey, but I can't help but question if you ship MarioxPauline."
I do not ship Mario and Pauline. Never have, never will...last for today is Derick Lindsey:
"Did you know that the rest of the XFL season was cancelled due to the Coronavirus if not then maybe we can see Master Hand's reaction to that and see if he can find a way to "kill" the virus for ruining Seattle's chances at the season."
You can bet your socks that Master Hand is ticked off about the coronavirus ending the XFL season. He's probably made that the virus cancelled a whole lot of things. I might provide Master Hand's reaction in the next chapter. Moving on:
"Next week is Animal Crossing New Horizons and I'm interested to see what you have in store for our cast there."
I tried to include as many characters as I could, in this chapter. Most of them will be cameos, for the most part. I didn't know which characters to put in, so I only included Aniaml Crossing characters that I was most familiar with.
Episode 222: Survival
Both Dr. Wily and Professor E. Gadd had beef with one another. A very one-sided beef, at that. Many of those at the mansion and the tower were pretty much aware of it.
It all started when Dr. Wily and E. Gadd agreed to work on a device together - a device that would send Sora and Aerith back to their universe. Dr. Wily wanted to take all the credit for building the device, something that E. Gadd disagreed with, and Wily threw a tantrum as a result and left E. Gadd to finish the device by himself. Things between the two turned out to be even worse, when E. Gadd started dabbling in time travel affairs, and try to perfect a time-traveling machine. It was proven in the past that Dr. Wily wasn't a huge fan of time travel.
Nowadays, whenever Dr. Wily was in the presence of E. Gadd, or even heard the professor's name, he would always be full of bitterness and hatred. Just the sight of E. Gadd's face would make his stomach turn. By all indications, it didn't seem like Dr. Wily and E. Gadd would be on the same page for a foreseeable future.
"I really didn't think I was going to have a good time, but I did, I totally did," E. Gadd said to three ladies in the mansion's cafe - Zelda, Wii Fit Trainer, and Byleth. The professor had stopped by to tell others about the camping trip he went on.
"I love camping," remarked Wii Fit Trainer, as Dr. Wily entered the cafe to get some coffee. He felt disgusted, when he saw E. Gadd standing with the ladies. "Anything can happen."
"Oh, it wasn't camping, it was more of a wilderness retreat." E. Gadd would look over, and spot Dr. Wily, glaring at him with an intensity never before seen. "Good afternoon, Dr. Wily!"
"E. Gadd..." seethed Dr. Wily, uttering the professor's name as he went to the nearest coffee machine.
Zelda: E. Gadd was invited by a few professorsinto the woods for a "get to know you" weekend. Dr. Wily wasn't invited. Apparently they already knew everything they needed to know about him.
"Did you sleep in cabins?" Zelda asked E. Gadd, while Dr. Wily was fixing himself some coffee. Dr. Wily shook his head, thinking that E. Gadd had no interesting stories to tell.
"Under the stars," replied E. Gadd, letting out a happy sigh as he remembered lying on the ground during the night and looking at the stars. "It was really beautiful, you should come."
"Beleth and I took rock climbing lessons once," said Byleth, as Dr. Wily laughed in response; it was very sardonic laughter, like he was trying to cope with the animosity building up inside of him. Byleth and company gave Dr. Wily weird looks.
Byleth: D. Wily wasn't invited on the camping trip. Professor E. Gadd went, but Dr. Wily didn't go. He wasn't invited.
"Who went?" Zelda asked E. Gdd, as Dr. Wily started fixing his coffee in a more aggressive manner. Whoever's name that E. Gadd listed, Dr. Wily would have a petty grudge with forever.
"Me, Dr. Light, Professor Rowan, and N. Tropy," E. Gadd listed the names at the top of his head; Dr. Wily suspected that Dr. Light would be mentioned. "Made so many s'mores, that I finally had to say, 'No more s'mores, no more s'mores'."
As the ladies laughed with E. Gadd, Dr. Wily finished making his coffee and high-tailed out of the cafe. He couldn't stand someone like E. Gadd having fun, especially with others.
E. Gadd: I was invited to go on a wilderness adventure retreat. It was this amazing, beautiful experience...
Dr. Wily: *knocking bathroom door, from outside* Hey, nobody cares. Nobody freaking cares. People have to use that bathroom, you know, so just, wrap it up.
E. Gadd:...Dr. Wily wasn't invited.
Dr. Wily didn't like the fact that E. Gadd had more fun than him, and so the evil genius was dead-set on going on his own camping retreat. But he couldn't do it alone, no...he needed a tag-long, to make the experience even better. Which was why he stopped by Mario's place, to speak with you-know-who.
"Hypothetically, if I were to ask you to go camping, and you know what hypothetical means?" Dr. Wily asked Mario, who was in his living room completing his sudoku puzzle - or at least trying to. "It means...not real."
"Yes, I know what that means, I'm-a not an idiot..." mumbled Mario, trying to keep himself focused while Dr. Wily was pestering him.
"So if I were to hypothetically ask you to go camping with me, would you go?
"Absolutely. Yes." Mario only said that just to make Dr. Wily go away, but his efforts were futile as Dr. Wily looked enthralled.
Mario: When Dr. Wily plays-a the hypothetical game - which doesn't happen that often - I always-a say yes. I do the same-a thing with Master Hand.
"Really?" Dr. Wily asked Mario once more, just to make sure that the plumber's decision was set in stone.
"Yeah?" responded Mario, as he looked up at Dr. Wily and seeing how ecstatic he was. Perhaps Mario should've just said no, from the jump.
"Oh, you wanna go today?" Dr. Wily was so desperate for a tag-along, that he refused to leave Mario's side. Even though he was violating the man's personal space.
Mario: Most of the time...I'm always-a busy.
"Oh, I can't go today, because-a I'm donating blood," stated Mario, making up this excuse on the fly. Dr. Wily bit his bottom lip, not wanting to believe Mario for a minute.
"How often can you actually donate blood?" questioned Dr. Wily, wanting to make sure that Mario hadn't donated any blood recently.
"Is-a there a limit?" Mario eyed around the living room, as Dr. Wily's desperation was reaching untamed levels.
"Our body only has a certain amount."
Well, is that it? Or is it some-a thing else?"
"Yes, just this whole Professor E. Gadd...camping thing...uh, seems a little lame. I mean, A bunch of guys, in a tent? Making s'mores?"
"Doesn't sound that lame-a to me." Of course, Dr. Wily would think otherwise had it been anyone else but E. Gadd.
"You know, here's the thing. That's not how you go camping. I think you go camping by yourself...In the wilderness. It's not with a group of guys frolicking around in tents. It's one guy, or two guys, if your plans change."
"Not gonna change..." Mario knew it was a huge mistake letting Dr. Wily inside his house.
"I want to do it myself! You know, I want to go and, and find out something about myself, I wanna get outta here. All the cliques, and the tower politics. Fluorescent lights. Asbestos."
"Sounds-a like you have a lot on your mind right-a now."
"I'm sick of it Jim. I'm sick to the core..."
Dr. Wily: When I had satellite back at my secret evil base, I used to watch a reality show called "Survivorman." And, it was interesting because it was about a guy who would go out in the middle of no where and just try not to die, try not to get eaten by an animal, or be overexposed.
Even though he couldn't entice Mario, Dr. Wily was still in the mood for some camping. The evil genius was in the lobby of the tower with Pit, who wanted to help him gather some camping materials together.
"Okay, I will only need two things - a roll of duct tape and a knife," Dr. Wily informed Pit, apparently having enough trust in the angel to fetch both materials. If Iori trusted Pit to be the trombone player in his jazz band...
"I'm on it!" Pit saluted Dr. Wily, before darting away to find the materials that Dr. Wily asked for. A moment after Pit left, Tom Nook approached Dr. Wily.
"I've been told that you wanted to go out camping," the tanoki said to Dr. Wily, greatly piquing the evil genius' interest. "How would you like to go on an all-expense paid vacation to..."
"Yes, yes, I'd love to go!" exclaimed Dr. Wily, as he interrupted Tom Nook. Got a little too excited there. "I'm sorry...what were you saying?
"I was wondering if you wanted to go on a vacation to a deserted island somewhere. The vacation package has already been purchased, by yours truly. Most of my pals are already there, so you won't feel so lonely."
"I would absolutely love to go on a vacation at this deserted island you speak of. Anything to show that wretched E. Gadd how it's done..."
"Dr. Wily, I'm back!" Pit informed the evil genius as he returned to the lobby, carrying a box of knives in his hands. The angel dropped the box on the floor, as Dr. Wily and Tom Nook stared at the box's contents wide-eyed.
"Where did you find all those knives?" Dr. Wily asked Pit, who picked up one of the assorted knives just to get a good look at it. "Hey, hey, hey! Put that back!"
Pit: I keep all sorts of weapons strategically placed around the mansion and tower. I saved Goemon's life once with a can of pepper spray I had hidden underneath my bed. People say, "Oh, it's dangerous to keep weapons in the home or the work place." Well I say, "It's better to be hurt by someone you know accidentally, than by a stranger on purpose."
Before Dr. Wily could set out on his vacation, he first had to let Crazy Hand know that he was leaving. The evil genius entered Crazy Hand's room with Pit and Tom Nook, and saw Crazy Hand speaking with his assistant, Serena.
"Pit, Tom Nook and I are going out," Dr. Wily informed Crazy Hand and Serena, opting not to bring any of his belongings with him during his camping adventure. Only thing he needed was a knife and some duct tape. "Pit and Tom Nook will return later, but I will not. I will also be taking a day off tomorrow, and perhaps the next day."
"Do you want us to ask where you're going?" Serena asked Dr. Wily, who was very curious in where the evil genius was going with Pit and Tom Nook.
"No...but if you must know, Tom Nook will be taking me to a deserted island. He already paid for the travel fares."
"Ooh, a trip to a deserted island! Sounds like a lot of fun. And a little mysterious..."
"On this deserted island, Tom Nook will then leave me to either die or to survive. The choice is yours." Tom Nook didn't agree to these terms, as he gave Dr. Wily a worrying look.
"No, the choice is YOURS," Crazy Hand told Dr. Wily, wondering what the evil genius could possibly accomplish being all alone on a deserted island. "Are you SURE you want to do this?"
"Yes, and I want you to tell the others to stay put, and not look for my whereabouts. Do not try to follow me."
"Great, superb! I am really starting to LOVE where this is all headed!"
"This is a very personal, private experience in the wild, that I wish to share it with me, myself and I."
"Do not fear, Dr. Wily - I'll make sure that you have ALL the privacy in the world!"
"When I return, I hope to be a completely changed human being."
"A CHANGED human being...that's what I would like to see!"
Pit: Do I think that Dr. Wily has the skills to survive in a hostile environment? Let's put it this way: NOPE!
Dr. Wily was inside a small plane piloted by Tom Nook (who knew that he had a plane), and Tom Nook was piloting away, like a G. Pit was keeping Dr. Wily company, sitting uncomfortably close to the evil genius.
"This is what a true survivor man does, Pit," Dr. Wily said to the angel, ready to feed him some knowledge about survival skills. "You simulate a disaster, like a plane wreck. You could only wear the clothes that you have on, and you could only use the stuff you have in your pockets. Now, in this case, this disaster is a serial killer! Creepy guy who's abducted me and is taking me out into the wilderness to leave me for dead!"
"C'mon, Dr. Wily, I would never leave you for dead," replied Pit, letting Dr. Wily know how loyal to a fault he was. Practiced that loyalty with Lady Palutena. "You would never escape."
"Well, yes I would. And I would survive!"
"I would make sure that you were dead."
"And how would you plan on doing that?"
"First, I would remove your teeth and cut off your fingertips so you could not be identified."
"That sounds...a little extreme..."
"And they would call me the Overkill Killer!"
"You… you are as creepy as a real serial killer." Dr. Wily shook his head, as Pit took out a blindfold and placed it over Dr. Wily's eyes. "What on earth are you doing?"
"I'm putting this on so you have no familiarity with your surroundings. Now this way, I can't retrace my steps. I don't know what streets we've been on, but..." Pit took off one of his sandals, and smacked Dr. Wily in the head with it.
"Ow!" Dr. Wily winced in pain, as he grabbed his head and rubbed the spot where Pit whacked him. "What was that for?!"
"It would be better if you were unconscious. Let me try again." Pit whacked Dr. Wily with his sandal again, and he did it repeatedly.
"Keep your hands to yourselves, you two!" Tom Nook called out to Pit and Dr. Wily, watching Pit whack Dr. Wily on his rear view mirror. Eventually, Pit left Dr. Wily alone.
"Do you want to do this right or not?" Pit sternly asked Dr. Wily, who was left rubbing his head in pain.
"Just, please allow me to have one cathartic experience in my life?" asked Dr. Wily, starting to realize that Pit was a terrible tag-along.
Link was committed to being more like a hero, and one way he planned on doing that was by helping out his fellow residents. Today, the Hylian was helping out Rosalina, the mansion's resident party planner.
"Link, we need to order a cake for Olimar's birthday," Rosalina informed the Hylian, speaking with him in the middle of the hallway. Just for today, Link was Rosalina's assistant.
"Oh, wasn't it just someone's birthday?" inquired Link, recalling a birthday celebration that took place not so long ago.
"Yes. Leaf's was last week, don't you remember?"
"I do remember, yeah." Link scratched his chin, trying to keep up with all the birthdays.
"It's birthday month. Olimar's is today. Falco's is next week. Nowi's daughter, Nah, has her birthday on the same day as Falco's. Don't know why Nowi insists on celebrating her daughter's birthday at the mansion..."
"You know what, I have an idea. Why don't we just do one big shared party?"
"What? A shared party? How's that going to work?"
Link: There are a gazillion people living in this mansion, so a gazillion times times a year Master Hand gets a cake and balloons, and some sort of joke gift and makes a toast - depending on the person. There are two types of toasts. One is a joke about how old you are, like how Master Hand told Doc Louis that black doesn't crack...had to clarify that he wasn't talking about drugs. And the other is something inappropriate. Or horrible. Or both. What else? He usually sings the high harmony to "Happy Birthday." And he's a very big believer in surprise parties. Maybe even, arguably, possibly to a fault. So…I think, yeah, I think getting these out of the way might be productive.
"We can just have one big fun party," Link suggested to Rosalina, who didn't seem that keen about the idea. "Everybody's happy, nobody wastes their time."
"I don't like it," Rosalina offered her two cents, as she turned around and walked away. "We'll think of something later." As Rosalina left, Zelda approached Link from behind.
"Wow! You're shaking things up a bit, huh?" Zelda asked Link - clearly the princess had overheard much of the conversation.
"It's a pretty good idea, don't you think?" Link asked Zelda, with a slight grin on his face. Perhaps Link could bring others on board with his idea.
"Do you think it's a good idea?"
"No...I think it's a great idea."
Tom Nook landed his small plane on a deserted island, which looked peaceful for the most part. Nothing seemed odd or threatening; everything was mostly tranquil.
"We're here," Tom Nook informed Dr. Wily and Pit as he and his passengers got out of the plane. Dr. Wily was blindfolded, with Pit escorting the evil genius.
"I'll will take the blindfold off of Dr. Wily when we're deep in the forest," Pit told Tom Nook, as he led Dr. Wily along the island shores. Tom Nook followed closely behind. "It'll be the three of us, from here on out!"
As Pit led Dr. Wily along the shores, with Tom Nook following along, all three men failed to notice a space marine standing in the distance, adorned in green combat armor and wielding a gun...it was safe to say Dr. Wily and company were not alone.
"Is that...is that Gulliver?" questioned Tom Nook, seeing a seagull lying on the beach. "Gulliver, wake up man!" the tanoki called out to the seagull, who quickly woke up and looked around.
"T-Tom Nook? Was that you?" asked the seagull named Gulliver, before seeing the tanoki in question standing with Pit and Dr. Wily. "Oh, it was you! And you brought some recrutis for my crew! Hooray!"
"They are NOT recruits. This is Dr. Wily and Pit - Dr. Wily agreed to come here, on a vacation. As for Pit...he's just a tag-along."
"The best tag-along a man could ask for!" exclaimed Pit, trying to instill some confidence in Gulliver as he flashed a smile and gave a thumbs up. Gulliver just looked at the angel inquisitively.
"Riiiiight...so, Dr. Wily, may I interest you in some furniture?" Gulliver asked the evil genius, who really couldn't be bothered with furniture of any kind.
"No thanks, I'm just here to prove a point - prove a point to that blasted E. Gadd!" replied Dr. Wily, letting Gulliver know how adamant he was in fulfilling his goal.
"Alright then...have it your way. If you ever change your mind, then just give me a holler!" So Dr. Wily and company went away, as Gulliver took out a phone of sorts. "Perhaps I should call my crew mates..."
After Gulliver dialed a number on his phone, someone tapped him on the shoulder...and Gulliver looked up and saw that it was the marine! Gulliver wouldn't be alone any longer.
Dr. Wily and company were now in the wilderness, with Pit having to clear through some tree branches in the way. There were also a few twigs on the ground.
"Here we go, into the wild...the mighty forest," said Pit, acting like a host of some nature show as he inhaled and then exhaled majestically. "Can you smell the trees and the nature?"
"I can definitely smell some flatulence..." grimaced Tom Nook, as he waved his hand in front of his nose. Pit, an obvious culprit, giggled sheepishly.
"Keep going, Dr. Wily you're fine. Just some bushes and some thickets." Pit led Dr. Wily into some tall grass, cutting through some of the grass with his bow. "Keep going. You wanted wilderness, you got it!"
Link was brought to his room by Cloud, who was concerned about a particularly weird spot on the bedroom floor. Link and Cloud were looking at this spot together, analyzing it and trying to make it out.
"Upon further inspection...this is definitely vomit from the Duck Hunt Dog," concluded Link, as Cloud grunted in frustration. This wasn't Cloud's first time cleaning up after the Duck Hunt Dog, and it certainly won't be his last.
"I was hoping that wouldn't be the case..." sighed Cloud, looking down at the questionable spot with heavy disdain."...do me a favor, and get me a scrubbing brush."
"Alright." Link would leave the room, but returned a few seconds later. "Oh, did you see my text message by the way? Used Akihiko's phone to send it." Cloud took out his cellphone, before reading the text message that Link had sent.
"'Let's be honest, as fun as birthdays are we could all use a break from the constant cake, so let's celebrate birthday month in style today.'" Cloud seemed to like the idea, as he nodded his head with a thoughtful look on his face. "This is really cool."
"Right?" Link knew that if he got Cloud on his side, he would be going places. "I was just thinking..."
"No, totally, totally. This way we get it all out of the way at once and it could actually be fun."
"Right! Exactly." Link would pat Cloud on the back, before walking away. "Knew I could count on you." After Link left, Cloud shook his head.
Pit had led Dr. Wily deep into the wilderness of the deserted island, as he and Tom Nook had finally reached a stopping point. Which meant that it was time to take the blindfold off of Dr. Wily.
"Good a spot as any," remarked Pit, before grabbing Dr. Wily and spinning him around. Couldn't spin him around too fast, otherwise Dr. Wily might puke!
"What are you doing?" Dr. Wily questioned Pit, as he was being spun around in place against his own free will. He could get real dizzy any minute now. "Stop, Pit. Just stop it, man..."
"Just spin, Dr. Wily! 'm trying to confuse your sense of direction." After Pit was done spinning Dr. Wily, he took the blindfold off the evil genius. "And now...behold. Nature at every foot!"
"Thank you, Pit..." Dr. Wily was so dizzy, that everything was spinning on an axis. If Pit wanted Dr. Wily's sense of direction distorted, then he got the job done just from the looks of it.
"Here's your knife, and here's your duct tape," Tom Nook gave a knife and a roll of duct tape to Dr. Wily, who was ready to embark upon his camping adventure. After Dr. Wily received the materials from Tom Nook, Pit gave him a hug.
"Good luck out there, Dr. Wily..." Pit whispered into Dr. Wily's ear, letting him know how much he cared for him and his well-being. Needless to say, Dr. Wily felt pretty bothered.
"Leave me alone..." grumbled Dr. Wily, as Pit broke away from the hug and ran away. The evil genius then looked at Tom Nook, and nodded his head at the tanoki. "Thanks for the ride, Tom Nook." Tom Nook nodded in return, as he left the premises...only to run into a red owl.
"Tom Nook, you made it back!" the red owl exclaimed as she flew over to Tom Nook and Pit. "I knew you couldn't stay away from the island forever." She saw Dr. Wily walking in the distance, and cocked her head. "Who is that guy?"
"That, Celeste, is the man who is on vacation at this island," answered Tom Nook, as the red owl gave the tanoki a questionable stare. "He won the vacation package...although, he barely did anything to earn it."
"You gave the vacation package...to that old man?" Never before had Celeste been so disappointed in Tom Nook. "Well, at least he's not a kid..."
"I'm a kid!" Pit said to Celeste, pointing his thumb at himself. Celeste had no idea how to respond to that remark.
"Um...good for you, I suppose." After speaking with Pit, Celeste directed her attention back to Tom Nook. "I'll be around digging up fossils if you ever need me, Tom Nook."
"We'll do our best not to bother you," Tom Nook assured Celeste, before he and Pit made their departure. Shortly after Pit and Tom Nook left, Celeste walked away, heading to the beach...
...only to run into the marine that was seen earlier. The mere sight of the marine was enough to make Celeste shiver in fear.
"H-Hello there..." Celeste nervously waved to the marine, who was very intimidating. Especially with the gun in his hands. "...h-how c-can I help you?"
Link was in the library, on a computer, looking for a perfect birthday cake online. Falco sneaked up on the Hylian, as his head slowly rose up.
"Bruh, Link, can I have my own cake?" the avian pilot asked Link, startling him as the Hylian screamed and fell out of his chair. Gil shushed Link immediately. "I really prefer devil's food cake."
"Uh, sure, I can make it happen," replied Link, much to the great delight of Falco as the ninja grinned and pumped his fist.
"Awesome!" His mind set on some devil's food cake, Falco ran out of the library, just after Zelda had showed up.
"Wow! That was easy," the princess said to Link, who used the chair he was sitting in to help himself up.
"Yeah, I didn't expect Falco to gravitate towards me like that," responded Link, before he and Zelda heard someone clearing their throat. The two looked over...and saw Olimar standing by.
Olimar brought Link to his house, so he could discuss things with the Hylian in private. Or so it would've been, if Olimar hadn't opted to speak with Link in his living room, where his two children were noisily playing while his wife vacuumed the floor.
"I hate devils food," Olimar made his feelings known to Link, while speaking over the noise from the vacuum. Olimar asked his wife to put the vacuum on the lowest setting.
"Well I think Falco was just..." said Link, as he grabbed the collar of his tunic.
"Screw Falco, I don't think it's fair to let someone else pick the cake on my birthday."
"Everyone's birthday. We're gonna celebrate everyone's birthday today, get it all out of the way."
"Today is actually my birthday and I want to pick the cake."
"In that case, I'll give you the honors of picking the cake. So, what will it be?"
"I want pie. I want peach pie." Peach pie instead of a birthday cake? Very interesting choice, Olimar.
"You want a birthday pie?"
"I want a nice cobbler.""
"Well, I'm gonna to talk to Rosalina and we're gonna see what we can do about a pie."
"I don't care who you talk to. Just make it happen!"
"It will be Rosalina." Any final decision regarding birthdays would have to be met with Rosalina's approval.
"You tell her it's for Olimar. She'll know what that means..."
Dr. Wily didn't want some lousy cameraman following him around on the deserted island, for he brought a camcorder with him to document his adventure. The evil genius was recording himself, as he made his way through the island.
"Day One: I'm in the interior of the vast wilderness," Dr. Wily documented, speaking directly into the camcorder as he recorded himself. "I've brought with me only the bare essentials. A knife, roll of duct tape, in case I need to craft some shelter or make some sort of water vessel. It's hot today. The sun is in the two-thirds easterly quadrant, which would make it about..." Dr. Wily glanced at his watch. "...2 o'clock in the afternoon. It's really beating down on me now. I think that I want to get a little more comfortable because the sun is depleting my resources." Dr. Wily would come to a stop, before cutting his jeans with his knife. "Okay. Oh, there we go. Watch that I don't hit my corroded artery here…"
Pit: I lied to Dr. Wily I said that I would leave him alone, but I will not! Tom Nook and I will remain close by to provide unseen moral support, but we will never help him. We will let harm befall him. We will even let him die. But we will never let him lose his dignity.
Tom Nook: Uh, Pit, do you ever get the sneaky feeling...that we're being watched? *looks around cautiously*
"There we go," Dr. Wily sighed in relief, as he was now standing with short sleeves and jeans that almost resembled jorts. The evil genius continued on his merry way. "Much better. Now everything I brought with me can be used. My lab coat here, can be fashioned into a backpack of sorts..."
As Dr. Wily took off his lab coat and tied it around his neck, the marine from earlier showed up, following closely behind Dr. Wily. He kept himself hidden among the wilderness, while armed with his gun.
"I'm going to wear what was once one of my pant legs," Dr. Wily spoke into the camcorder, as he took off the pant leg he had cut off and placed it on his head, like a hat. He then ripped off the other pant leg in half. "See, this is a beautiful piece of material..."
As Dr. Wily was looking into the camcorder, he failed to notice the marine following after him, out of sight and out of mind. What business did this marine want with Dr. Wily? Was Dr. Wily trespassing?
"...this could be used for all sorts of things. Some sort of kerchief to keep my neck nice and comfortable."
Link walked out of the workshop, after he asked Samus if she had enough funds to buy some peach pie. Samus was the go-to gal for ordering pizza, if you might recall, and pizza is technically pie, and Olimar wanted some peach pie, so...connect the dots.
"Link!" Sonic called out to the Hylian, who had just exited from the workshop. Link saw Sonic walking down the hallway, eating a chili dog.
"Sonic," Link called out the hedgehog's name, as Sonic drew closer to him. By the time Sonic reached Link, he was already done with his chili dog.
"I would like for some ice cream cake, okay? Think of Fudge the Whale."
"It's not your birthday, Sonic...if you want some ice cream cake, you'll just have to wait until June."
"Well, I'm just saying, you know, if you want to make people happy, you will have a Fudge the Whale."
"Alright, I'll look into it, but the answer's no." Sonic was greatly hurt, as he clutched his pearls.
"Wow, okay, harsh...just don't expect me to show up."
"Okay. Now if you excuse me, I have some important birthday business to handle..."
"Heard ya loud and clear!" So Sonic and Link both went their separate ways...only for Sonic to come back to Link. "Are we having pizza rolls?"
"Can't answer right now, I'm busy..." Link walked faster to get away from Sonic, who was hot on the Hylian's tail. Someone should let Link know that out-walking Sonic was never a great idea.
"How about some mushroom caps? Will there be any mushroom caps? C'mon Link, answer me!"
Dr. Wily was real deep into the wilderness of the deserted island, expecting to find all sorts of exotic animals nearby. All the while, the marine was keeping close by, having a very close eye on Dr. Wily.
"I am totally alone right now, with only my thoughts," Dr. Wily said into the camcorder, clearly unaware of the fact that the marine was spying on him. "I love it. I'm loving it. I can literally say anything I want. No one is gonna hear me." Dr. Wily let out a deep breath, ready to scream out whatever was on his mind. "Wish I could have gone with those professors on that cool retreat! Asuka has plastic boobs! I HAVE HEMORRHOIDS! Doesn't even matter."
Pit: Dr. Wily is a man of great depth and passion. I don't know what he's searching for out here. *pulls a nest from a tree* I hope he finds it. *picks up some bird eggs* Mmm, lunch!
Tom Nook: Pit, is it just me, or is there a strange marine fellow spying on Dr. Wily?
Tom Nook was right, as the marine was indeed spying on Dr. Wily. Speaking of whom, Dr. Wily was standing alone by himself, soaking in all the nature around him. Essentially leaving himself open for the marine.
"Well it is a little chillier than I had thought, so I have fashioned my hat back into my pants," Dr. Wily documented, as he started to feel hungry. His stomach, while not grumbling, was calling out for food. "Several hours in, time for me to find some nourishment. Now, these woods are full of creatures that can sustain human life. Things like, uh, squirrels, nice juicy rabbit would be delicious."
Pit: *cooking bird eggs* About two more minutes...
Tom Nook: Enough with the cooking, Pit - we have to stop that marine, before he ends up hurting Dr. Wily!
Pit: You like boiled eggs, Tom Nook? *Tom Nook shakes his head no* Welp, more for me!
"I have made this spear, with which I will impale my dinner," said Dr. Wily as he showed off his homemade spear in front of the camcorder, while the marine looked on from a distance. "And it couldn't come a moment too soon because I have been without food for a good three hours or so. I'm starting to feel it a little bit. Oh, I forgot...today is Olimar's birthday! Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to Olimar. Happy Birthday to you! Happy birthday, friend!"
Olimar went back to the mansion, to have a friendly discussion with Fox and Falco in the lounge. A discussion that had somewhat to do with birthday cake.
"What is Link thinking?" wondered Fox, while a few others in the lounge - Wario, Doc Louis, and Robin - were listening in on the conversation. "It's a birthday, so what if there's a lot of them?"
"Yeah, I work hard all day!" stated Wario, leading the others to wonder what kind of work Wario even did. "I like knowing that there's going to be a break of some kind. Most days I just sit around and wait for the break."
"I took an extra shot of insulin in preparation for this cake today," said Doc Louis, who has been looking forward to Olimar's birthday cake ever since he woke up this morning. "If I don't have some cake soon, I might die!"
"Why don't you just have an apple?" Robin asked Doc Louis, as he offered the boxing trainer an apple. Doc Louis looked at Robin in disgust.
"Why don't you mind your business?" Looking meekly at the floor, Robin slowly retracted the apple away from Doc Louis.
"Listen, I figured this out," Olimar said to the others, proposing a theory behind Link's birthday plans. "Link had his birthday three weeks ago, so he doesn't care."
"Probably went to his head," assumed Robin, before taking a bite out of the apple that Doc Louis did not want. Just then, Link entered the lounge, seeing everyone gathered together. "Hey Link."
"Hey guys, what are we talking about?" Link asked Robin and company, knowing that they had a group conversation. Nobody wanted to respond.
"Nothing! Nothing going on,"replied Olimar, doing his best to dissuade Link from thinking anything else. "We're talking about nothing."
Dr. Wily now had a tent set up on the deserted island, using whatever materials he had at his disposal. The marine watched from a distance as Dr. Wily showed off his makeshift tent on the camcorder.
"Well if you take a look at this, I tented my jeans," documented Dr. Wily, showing that he used his jeans to form the tent. "I've made myself a nice jeans tent shelter. And this little guy..." Dr. Wily patted a large tree trunk, that was used for putting the tent together. "...may be an outdoor laboratory some day."
"Nice tent, buddy," a certain skunk called out to Dr. Wily, watching from a stand that read "Kicks". It was the skunk none other than Kicks, best known for shoes. "How long do you think it's gonna last?"
"As long as it needs to. Depending on the circumstances, it may be temporary...or perhaps permanent. We shall see."
Pit: *holding a rifle* Nothing to worry about. Just using the scope. Safety is… *clicks rifle into safety mode* ...on.
Tom Nook: Where did you even get that rifle from? Better question is, are you gonna use it to take out that marine spying on Dr. Wily?
Pit: Oh cool, there's a marine on this island? This island keeps getting better and better!
Tom Nook: *sighs deeply*
Junpei went to Link's room, and knocked on the bedroom door. Link opened the door, and saw Ken standing by.
"Hey, Link, I just got the word on the communal birthdays," Ken informed the Hylian, being a little too late to the party. "Great idea!"
"Oh, thanks man," smiled Link, appreciating Ken's kind words. So far, reception about the communal birthdays has been mixed. "Is there anything..."
"One problem, though - my birthday was two months ago, and I never had a birthday party!"
"What? For real?" To not have a birthday party at the mansion, whenever it was someone's birthday, was unheard of.
"Well, it…there was. But Master Hand scheduled it for 7:58 on a Sunday. People sang in the dining room."
"I remember that." It was perhaps the weakest birthday celebration in mansion history, at least according to Link.
"I don't know, I just thought you could include me. I don't see the harm in that."
Link: Junpei's great. He's great, but sometimes he can be a little bit much. *in Junpei's voice* "I don't see the harm in that." Well, it's a cake Junpei, so, c'mon.
"You know what, we're just gonna throw you in," Link told Junpei, delighting the young man very much as he smiled. "Because the more the merrier, right?"
"No, no way..." said a certain mother of Lumas, as Rosalina showed up at the scene having witnessed Link's conversation with Junpei. "I am not a machine, Link. You can't just change plans willy nilly and expect these little magic party elves to do your bidding. We already have devils food, peach cobbler, Fudge the Whale, mushroom caps."
"I'm allergic to mushrooms," Junpei pointed out as he raised his finger, letting this fact be made known to Link and Rosalina. Can't let anyone get allergic reactions at Olimar's birthday party.
"In that case, time for a change in plans...follow me," Link said to Junpei and Rosalina, before leading the two to the nearby gaming room. Link entered the room, before addressing the crowd. "Hey everybody. Hi, how you doing? Can I have your attention please? 'Because we have to talk about this birthday thing."
"Should we do this in the meeting room?" asked Researcher Zelda, who wasn't a huge fan of impromptu meetings. Usually depending on the locale.
"No. No. We're gonna solve it right here. We're actually gonna talk about it out here. So, who has problems with the birthday thing?" Almost everyone raised their hand. "One, two, three...almost everybody. Okay, so then we just shouldn't do it. Majority rules."
"What am I supposed to do with two cakes and a pie?" Rosalina asked Link, not wanting to throw out two valuable desserts in the trash.
"I'll take them off your hands," volunteered King K. Rool, willing to eat just about any cake in existence. Even if it was made purely out of horseradish.
"Well nobody's touching the peach cobbler," stated Cuphead, looking out for the birthday boy...erm, man. "Olimar would throw a fit!"
"Hey, Jakob...I mean Link," Viridi said to Link as she raised her hand, before having to correct herself. Being called Jakob definitely cut real deep inside of Link.
Link: Yup, Viridi called me Jakob...and I will always and forever be haunted by that fact.
Dr. Wily was craving for some food, searching around the deserted island for anything edible. His search came to an end, when he came across a tree that had mushrooms all over it.
"Hey Kicks, what's new?" a female hedgehog came over to speak with Kicks, at the skunk's shoe stand.
"Hi Labelle - that old guy over there is gonna eat those mushrooms," replied Kicks, as he pointed at Dr. Wily nearing the tree.
"But aren't those mushrooms poisonous? I really don't think it's gonna end well for him..."
"I love how you ignored the fact that he's wearing jorts...that concerns me more than anything.
"Under this tree, I think I struck the mother load," Dr. Wily said into the camcorder, before pointing the camera at the mushrooms on the tree. "Those are nature's best mushrooms. Wild, and I have to say these little buggers are dang tasty as well."
As Dr. Wily drew towards the tree, the marine crept closer to him. Kicks and Labelle saw the marine, and felt like they had to warn Dr. Wily.
"Look out, man - there's some guy with a gun behind you!" Kicks called out to Dr. Wily, seeing how much proximity the marine had towards Dr. Wily. Dr. Wily, who was about to touch the mushrooms, froze in place.
"Stop! Dr. Wily, nooooo!" shouted Pit, before gunfire was heard as Dr. Wily ducked for cover. At first, Dr. Wily thought that Pit was shooting at him, apparently as a way to stop him from eating the mushrooms. Pit should never be trusted with any firearms ever again, if Dr. Wily ever got shot at.
However, that wasn't the case...as Dr. Wily slowly rose up, he saw a circular, one-eyed demon with a mouth slowly descend to the ground. The demon screamed in pain as it fell to the ground.
"Haha, bullseye!" grinned Pit as he pumped his fist, while Tom Nook - who was standing next to Pit - wiped off the sweat from his forehead. Pit and Tom Nook ran over to Dr. Wily, ensuring that the evil genius was okay. Kicks and Labelle came over as well.
"Pit, I can't believe I'm saying this...but you saved me!" Dr. Wily told the angel as he saw the defeated demon, which had smoke coming from where Pit shot it at. "I am forever grateful."
"Um, guys...I think we got some company," alerted Labelle, bringing everyone's attention to the marine. The marine came over to Labelle and company, and instead of introducing himself...
...he used his gun to shoot away at the demon, blasting it to bits. Dr. Wily and company looked on, watching as the demon was gone for good.
"Wait a minute, I know that guy..." said Pit, quickly realizing who the marine was after he got a good look at his combat armor. "...that's the Doom Slayer!"
"The Doom Slayer?!" Dr. Wily exclaimed in heavy shock, as the marine - the Doom Slayer - gave a thumbs up after the demon was dealt with. "As in, the marine from DOOM?"
"Yeah, the guy responsible for Columbine. It's actually him! And that demon he was shooting at must be a Cacodemon. Never saw one in person before!"
"I kept a close eye on him - thought he wanted to take you out," Tom Nook said to Dr. Wily, as the Doom Slayer looked up in the sky for any Cacodemons lurking about. "Had no idea he was after that Cacodemon...I was keeping my eye on the wrong thing!"
"Good thing he wasn't out for blood or anything," remarked Kicks, before letting out a reassuring sigh. "Wouldn't want a guy on vacation to be killed by an unwanted guest!"
"So now that we met the Doom Slayer, can we take him with us to the mansion?" asked Pit, and before Tom Nook could answer, Gulliver and Celeste came over to Pit and company. Both looked like they were out of breath.
"What's the matter with you two, why do you look so panicked?" Tom Nook asked Gulliver and Celeste, seeing the fear on both of their faces.
"I think we got some company...and it's certain not anyone from my crew," replied Gulliver, wishing he knew of a way to stress the importance of whatever situation was afoot.
"That marine right there tried to give us a warning, but he incapable of saying what it was," stated Celeste, as she pointed at the Doom Slayer. She still found herself intimidated by the marine. "We might have an emergency on our hands..."
"What kind of emergency, how bad can it...be?" asked Tom Nook, before he and the others felt a giant shadow over them. Eyes wide, Tom Look looked up along with everyone else...
...and all were startled to see a flock of Cacodemons, looking to destroy the entire deserted island. But the Doom Slayer was ready to take them on, as he got his gun locked and loaded.
"We should've brought that box of assorted knives with us..." Dr. Wily said to Pit and Tom Nook, fearing that he and his pals would prove useless against the Cacodemon flock. Better let the Doom Slayer handle all the work.
Master Hand and Crazy Hand gathered everyone in the ballroom of the mansion, to celebrate Olimar's birthday. Olimar was with his family, standing in front of some peach cobbler that had lit candles.
"Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to you. Happy Birthday to Olimar. Happy birthday to you!" everyone sang happy birthday to Olimar, and after the singing was done, it was time to blow out the candles.
"Here it goes..." said Olimar as he blew out the candles...only for nothing to happen. The astronaut's breath didn't even reach the candles.
"You have to take off your helmet, sweetie," informed Olimar's wife, as Olimar giggled sheepishly and took off his helmet. He usually kept his helmet on, thinking that the earth's oxygen would kill him.
"Now we can get the show on the road." Before Olimar could blow out the candles, the ballroom doors slammed open, as Dr. Wily and everyone else from the deserted island showed up and made their presence known...but everyone's focus was on the Doom Slayer.
"We made it, just in time..." announced Dr. Wily, who was covered in blood just like the others. Everyone was more focused on the Doom Slayer, who just waved to everyone.
"How did you BRING the Doom Slayer to the mansion?" questioned Crazy Hand, as Master Hand fainted unto the floor. Can't let the Doom Slayer leave without offering him a Smash invite...
Dr. Wily: Man became civilized for a reason. He decided that he liked to have warmth, and clothing, and television, and food, and to walk upright, and to have a soft futon at the end of the day. He didn't want to have to struggle to survive. I don't need the woods. I have a nice wood desk. I don't need fresh air, because I have the freshest air around, A.C. And I don't need wide open spaces. Check it out. *shows off computer screen scenery in his bedroom* I can also make it the sky.
Following the birthday festivities, Dr. Wily went over to Mario's house to unwind. There he found Link, who also wished to unwind. Much to the chagrin of Mario, who just wanted to be alone in the living room.
"Sure glad to be back in Seattle..." Dr. Wily sighed happily, as he was sitting on the living room couch looking up at the ceiling.
"You two must-a feel relieved," Mario said to Dr. Wily and Link, seeing that the two were hogging his couch. At least they weren't sitting in Mario's sofa.
"You have no idea..." responded Link, shaking his head as he thought about his day. "I tried to put all the birthdays together at once. So , terrible idea. Gotta take some accountability for it."
"Yeah, I did that once-a before. Rookie mistake. Just wait until Master Hand names-a you man of the mansion, you'll figure it out."
"Well, I don't think that Master Hand would ever handpick me to be the man of the mansion. But I am qualified, though..."
"If I had to say, it would be between either you or Cloud," Dr. Wily said to Link, who mulled over the possibility. "That's just a hunch..."
What if Link was man of the mansion? What if he was given the honors over Cloud? Would be quite interesting.