Author's Note:
This chapter will mark the debut of Min Min in Smash Life...at least as a resident in the Smash Mansion, in a recurring role. Min MIn, as you are all aware, was the newest addition to Super Smash Bros Ultimate, and I must say that I was pretty excited about her addition (mainly because she's my main in ARMS). A few other characters from ARMS will be joining Min Min in Smash Life, all of them making their Smash Life debuts. Oh, and Vault Boy from Fallout will be making his debut as well...it was shocking to see him in Smash Bros, let alone Fallout receiving any kind of representation. But hey, if Assassin's Creed gets a Mii costume...
...oh, and one more thing I should mention: this chapter is a Link Patrol Unit chapter. Only because I thought it would make writing this chapter a bit easier. I might do two more LPU chapters this year, so some of you might be excited about that. Enjoy!
Episode 236: Noodles
Toon Link: In the criminal justice system, offences outside of Smash battles are especially considered heinous. In Seattle, at the Smash Mansion, the dedicated police officers who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as the LPU, the Link Patrol Unit. These are their stories.
Young Link: DUN DUUUUN!
Ever since March, it was announced that a new fighter was coming to Smash, and it was someone from ARMS. Many believed that it would be Spring Man that would serve as the ARMS rep, but that didn't turn out to be the case. But, after the news that was made, speculation around the mansion steadily grew over time.
Question was, who exactly from ARMS would be joining Smash? Was it Ninjara, the stealthy ninja who maneuvered with his sneaky ninja ways? Or would it be Twintelle, the glamorous movie star whose refined taste knew no bounds?
The Smash invite would instead go to Min Min - an ARMS competitor whose marked popularity made her a fan favorite among many fans. She was a girl who had a profound love for noodles, thanks in part to her family owning the famous Mintendo Noodle House. Min Min had only been to the mansion once, but now she could claim her stake as a resident of the establishment.
However, Min Min wouldn't be the only ARMS fighter joining the mansion. Tom Nook, out of courtesy, extended an invite to Ninjara and Twinelle, as well as Master Mummy and Mechanica. Tom Nook knew in his heart that Master Hand would invite as many folks as possible to his mansion, so in a sense he was doing the giant hand a huge solid.
"Pleaaaase, Tom Nook, can I join the others at the mansion?" Spring Man pleaded to Tom Nook with begging hands, as he followed after the tanooki through the halls of the mansion. "It's not fair being stuck at the tower!"
"Hmm, let me think about it...NO," Tom Nook quickly responded without giving much thought, as he headed down to the foyer. "Just be satisfied with what you have."
"Be satisfied with what, having to put up with Waluigi on a daily basis? Elec Man causing random power outages? Barbara playing her guitar loudly in the middle of the night?! How do you even live like that, man?"
"You're not the only one who has to deal with those distractions...quit acting so special." Tom Nook headed down the stairs, as Spring Man stopped following after him as he let out an exasperated sigh.
Spring Man: I'm gonna find my way to live inside that mansion, one way or another. They can't leave a lone wolf out alone by himself, or he'll get slaughtered by pigs...carnivorous pigs, or something like that. What I'm trying to say is, they can't keep the most popular ARMS fighter down, and I'm gonna let the others know that!
Ribbon Girl: Poor Spring Man still thinks that he's the most popular. *sighs* Every time I bring up Min Min, he either dismisses her or pretends she doesn't exist. He's been acting that way since March. Don't even get me started on Twintelle.
"That Spring Man, still thinks he's the bread and butter of ARMS..." Tom Nook shook his head, as he made his arrival at the foyer. Ribbon Girl was already present, ready to greet the newcomers.
"Hiya, Tom Nook!" the pop singer happily greeted the tanooki, as she waved to him. Tom Nook nodded at Ribbon Girl; he would've smiled as well, if he didn't lack a mouth. How was he able to speak then? "Uh, where is Spring Man? He's still feeling salty, isn't he?"
"Still hasn't changed a bit. So, are Min Min and the others here yet?" The doorbell rang right before Ribbon Girl could answer, but that doorbell was just the answer that Tom Nook needed. "Oh, that must be them!"
Scurrying past Ribbon Girl, Tom Nook quickly opened the front door and saw the newest addition to the Smash roster, Min Min. Min Min came prepared, as she had a bowl of hot-and-ready ramen noodles in her hands.
"Welcome to the Smash Mansion, Min Min!" Tom Nook welcomed the ARMS fighter, having to do the honors since Master Hand obviously wasn't around. "I see you have some delicious ramen noodles for me."
"Hello, Tom Nook - I got you these noodles, as a token of my appreciation," smiled Min Min, as she handed the bowl of ramen noodles to Tom Nook. Using the chopsticks that were already in the bowl, Tom Nook slurped up some noodles, as he beamed in delight.
"Mmm, delicious! Best noodles I've ever had. Min Min, your folks sure know how to make some great-tasting noodles!"
"Well, they do their best..." As Tom Nook continued eating his noodles, Min Min knelt down so she could whisper something to the tanooki. "...so do we get some big snazzy introduction at the mansion? Because with Twintelle around..."
"Oh, you want a big introduction for you and your friends? We can make that happen. Isabelle will round up everyone in the lecture hall for the whole shebang."
Tom Nook would finish up his noodles, as Min Min entered the mansion and saw Ribbon Girl standing by. As Min Min and Ribbon Girl were catching up and whatnot, the buddy cops Toon Link and Young Link watched from afar.
"Can't believe that Master Hand invited that double agent..." frowned Toon Link, shaking his head as he glared down Min Min. Just seeing Min Min inside the mansion almost made the Hylian want to leave the establishment forever.
"How much money do you think Mintendo threw at Master Hand to make him even consider adding Min Min?" asked Young Link, who wanted nothing more than to sling Min Min in jail for whatever imaginary crimes she committed. "Hate it when companies just throw around money to get what they want..."
"Yeah, it's sickening how people bash Amazon, and yet give Mintendo a pass. Absolutely disgusting. And how did Min Min get a Smash invite over Twintelle?"
"I know, right? If you ask me, Twintelle is the most popular chick in ARMS! Master Hand probably got too distracted by Twintelle's curves, and gave Min Min the Smash invite by accident."
"You boys are standing in my way..." an annoyed person said to the buddy cops, standing right behind them, as Toon Link and Young Link turned around and saw Samus standing by, annoyed.
"Sorry, Samus, we were too busy scoping about the double agent," Toon Link said to the bounty hunter, him and Young Link moving out of the way as Samus rolled her eyes and headed down the stairs. "But don't worry, we'll take care of her shortly!"
Samus: The buddy cops think that Min Min is some kind of double agent for the All-Star Manor. Why do they think that? It's all because Min Min was asked by Polygon Man to buy some noodles that one time when those manor dorks came to visit. Because of that, Min Min is a menace to society all due to her "friendly relations" with the manor. You know who else had "friendly relations" with the manor? Mario, who spoke in private with Nathan Drake. Those buddy cops would have you believe that Mario was Hitler reincarnated, just for accepting the manor's dumb peace treaty.
Everyone was filing into the lecture hall - from the residents, to the tower denizens, to the neighbors - for the introduction of Min Min and company. Ike came inside the lecture hall carrying a few signs.
"This should send a strong enough message to Min Min," the swordsman remarked, with his signs having the same message written on them - "Free Noodles, or We Riot!". Talk about having great priorities.
"I'm only attending this crummy event just to see Twintelle," Wario said to Ken Masters, who had the misfortune of sitting next to the fatso. "That lady has curves for days!"
"Isn't there a girl you like, who's in college or something?" asked Ken, who didn't know which was more disturbing - Wario having a girlfriend who was in college, or remotely any woman thinking that Wario was attractive. "Speaking of which, wouldn't that make you a predator?"
"...we won't talk about that." Sitting a few rows ahead of Wario and Ken were Cortex, Brio, and Pit - the three key cogs of Cortex's campaign. Cortex wanted to be as close to Min Min and the others as possible.
"Gentlemen, this could be the breakthrough we need for our campaign!" Cortex said to Brio and Pit; Pit wasn't paying attention, for he was too busy arm wrestling with Incineroar, right on Kirby's head. "Pit, are you even listening?"
"Not now Dr. Cortex!" replied Pit, mustering all the strength in his arm only to lose to Incineroar in three seconds flat. "Meh...I wanted to lose that one on purpose."
Cortex: Think of all the value that those ARMS fighters could bring to my campaign! Min Min? I could sell her noodles to drum up some support. Ninjaro? He could run a few errands for me, while I handle all the important stuff. Twintelle? With her movie acumen, she could help me produce a movie that would easily sway the mansion's opinion on me! And Master Mummy...eh, he could just endorse my campaign. What was the other ARMS fighter's name? It's escaping me at the moment...
Chatter in the lecture hall persisted up until the moment Tom Nook took the stage, as the tanooki walked up to the microphone. He tapped on the microphone, sparking a loud screeching noise from the loudspeakers which irritated everyone.
"Oops, my bad, everyone..." Tom Nook sheepishly apologized, adjusting his mic as everyone was left complaining about the noise.
"Very professional, Tom Nook!" Wario frowned at the tanooki, covering his ears as they were ringing. "Trying to make us all deaf?!"
"Like you're the one to talk about being unprofessional, Wario...now can I have your attention, please? It's about time that we..."
"Do we get free noodles?" Ike interrupted Tom Nook, as the swordsman raised his hand. Tom Nook looked behind his shoulder, unsure whether he should answer or not.
"You...might wanna speak with our newest addition to Smash about that. Oh, and speaking of which, everyone please give a warm welcome to Smash's newest fighter, and ARMS champion...Min Min!"
Min Min would join Tom Nook onstage, greeting the crowd with a gentle wave. Everyone was on their feet for Min Min, welcoming the Chinese martial artist with applause and cheers and the like. Not everyone was happy...and Spring Man was one of those people.
"Did Tom Nook seriously call Min Min ARMS champion?" the ARMS fighter questioned, believing that Tom Nook was putting some disrespect on his name. "If anyone around here is the ARMS champion, it's me!"
"Can you just stop acting salty for one second?" Ribbon Girl said to Spring Man, who kept his mouth shut as he folded his arms and pouted. "Let Min Min have her moment..."
"Thank you all for the warm welcome," Min Min addressed the crowd, once all the euphoria in the lecture hall died down. "I never would think in a million years that I would be in Smash, so this is a dream come true. And I'm just as pleased to be with you all, at this mansion. At least I don't have to put up with Master Hand...for now."
"I'm sure that he'll be fawning all over you when he and Crazy Hand return from his 'indefinite vacation'," Tom Nook said to Min Min; the tanooki tried to contact Master Hand to see how his vacation was coming along, but never got a response. "I'd suggest that you get yourself prepared for..."
"Ahem! Can we get a move on, please?" someone called out from backstage, speaking in a charming British accent. Many of the residents (mostly men) were quick to recognize who it was, as they were all smiles.
"My apologies...now, joining Min Min at the mansion today are a few of her friends and fellow ARMS competitors, which I had the pleasure of inviting. Everyone give it up, for Twintelle, Ninjara, Master Mummy, and Mechanica!"
The four aforementioned fighters would join Tom Nook on the lecture hall stage, as Twintelle, Ninjara, Master Mummy, and Mechanica all made their appearances onstage. You best believe that there were a lot of whistling and hollering for Twintelle.
"Didn't take you that long to get super popular, huh?" Ninjara whispered to Twintelle, who was soaking in everything as she smiled and waved to the crowd. Everywhere she went, Twintelle was always the center of attraction.
"You say that like it's supposed to be a bad thing..." replied Twintelle, as she was now blowing kisses into the crowd. "...sadly a lonesome man like you wouldn't know anything about being popular."
"Tom Nook, you promised me that I would see my family at this mansion," Master Mummy said to the tanooki, who was acting all nervous as he looked around while scratching the back of his head. "So where are they? Tell me!"
"They're around here somewhere..." Tom Nook nervously replied, gleeful that Master Mummy was a gentle and understanding man. Otherwise he would've been pummeled to oblivion for his very ambiguous answer.
Tom Nook: Yes, I took a page right out of Master Hand's handbook...used a bunch of empty promises to ensure that the new residents would join the mansion. For Master Mummy, I just told him that his wife and child were living at the mansion, waiting for his arrival. Surprisingly, it worked like a charm. Now if you excuse me, I have a really deep hole that I must dig myself out of...
"Now, there is one more resident that was invited to the mansion by Master Hand," Tom Nook addressed the crowd, as the resident in question had yet to arrive. Unless they were planning some kind of grand entrance. "I don't know if they received the invite, since Isabelle and I never heard back from..."
Suddenly, the lights in the lecture hall went out, filling the room with darkness. People were freaking out and panicking, until a bright white limelight was shone on the lecture hall stage. Everyone looked up, as they saw a short blonde man wearing a Vault jumpsuit descend down from the ceiling with a hookshot.
"That's not my hookshot, is it?" questioned Link, as he fumbled through the pockets of his green tunic for his hookshot. "The new guy didn't steal my stuff, did he?"
"Not like you still needed that thing anyways..." grumbled Cloud, as the man in the Vault jumpsuit touched his feet on the lecture hall stage. The man pulled the chain down, before placing his hookshot in his pocket.
"Ah, there he is...everyone give a warm welcome to Vault-Tec Corporation's very own, Vault Boy!" announced Tom Nook, as Vault Boy faced the crowd and gave everyone a thumbs up and a wink. The crowd applauded.
"Vault Boy is a mansion resident now?" marveled Young Link, speaking quietly with Toon Link as the allure of Vault Boy caught the Hylian's imagination. "You think he might be strapped?"
"Most definitely - think of all the weapons he could let us use!" squealed Toon Link, and no way was the Hylian old enough to use any of the weapons he was now drooling over. "The guy's got rifle guns, barbed wire bats, whoopie cushions...you name it!"
"Deadly whoopie cushions, I hope. But, what if...we ask Vault Boy for his weapons, and use them to destroy Min Min once and for all? We'd be doing the mansion a huge favor!"
"I really like the way you think, Hutch...because I had the very same idea myself! Min Min is gonna be a goner by the end of the day - gonna wish she never came here!"
The buddy cops were really determined to kill Min Min on her first day at the mansion, all for their own silly reasons...never count out Toon Link and Young Link for acting upon their own delusional ambitions.
Ninjara's addition of the mansion greatly piqued the interest of the ninja pals, who were always eager to add fellow ninjas to their exclusive club. Joining the club didn't come without initiation, however, so naturally Ninjara had to be initiated first. Only problem the ninja pals ran into was finding Ninjara, since the ninja was an expert at hiding.
"Have you seen Ninjara anywhere, Goemon?" Sheik asked the ninja in the living room; despite being a ninja himself, Goemon had yet to be one with the ninja pals.
"Haven't seen him ever since the big fat introduction in the lecture hall," replied Goemon, as he was sitting on the couch eating some potato chips. "I saw him walk offstage along with the other ARMS people, and I called out to him, 'HEY NINJARA, WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE SMASH MANSION?!'"
"Sweet Hylia, do you have to be so loud..." Sheik covered her ears, as she felt her ears nearly ringing from Goemon's needless screaming. "...you couldn't even use your indoor voice?"
"...that was my indoor voice. Maybe I put a bit too much 'omph' on it. But I think Ninjara still heard me! He was just too shy to respond!"
"Thanks for nothing, Goemon..." Sheik walked away, leaving Goemon alone with his bag of potato chips. It looks like Goemon won't be joining the ninja pals anytime soon.
Sheik: Many have asked us "ninja pals" if we were any interested in letting Goemon join our little exclusive club. We had given it some thought and consideration...only for said consideration to fade away, when we take our sanity into question. There's no way Goemon would last with his constant screaming; duct-taping his mouth would somehow make things even worse. Yuffie still thinks we should give Goemon a chance, but quite frankly I value my mental and psychological well-being too much to be taking such chances.
Goemon: Why won't those ninja pals let me hang out with them?! Have they forgotten that I'm a ninja too?! I can do all sorts of ninja things - I can do the ninja run, I got a killer weapon, and I even have a very respectable death! I die from being boiled ALIVE! *pauses* Okay, that hasn't happened yet, but Sheik should let me be a part of her group of ninja friends regardless!
"So, what did Goemon say?" Yuffie asked Sheik, as the perky ninja was standing outside the living room with Greninja, Asuka, Kat, and Ana. Sheik looked at Yuffie, before sighing and shaking his head.
"Goemon wasn't any help at all...I suspect he might've scared off Ninjara," replied Sheik, her ears still ringing from Goemon using his so-called "indoors voice". "And yet you think we should let him hang out with us..."
"C'mon, he must feel so lonely! Sure he scares everyone by yelling a lot...but it's not like he can help it! It's never too late for Goemon to change his ways..."
"Chrom and Yusuke already tried, and they gave up. Chrom even told me that Goemon nearly stressed him out. So I think it's a little too late for that loudmouth ninja..."
"But Chrom and Yusuke are a bunch of softies! Especially Chrom. Besides, you won't know if Goemon changes for the better unless you give him the chance..."
"Yeah, I think he's fine enough on his own," Asuka offered her two cents, seeing that the negatives of Goemon being a ninja pal greatly outweighed the positives. "I really don't wanna be his personal mute button."
"You feel the same way too, Greninja?" Yuffie asked the ninja Pokemon, who nodded his head; Yuffie then looked towards Kat and Ana, who both shared the same sentiments. Yuffie sighed.
"Trust me, Yuffie, it'll be for the greater good," Sheik assured the ninja, placing an assuring hand on her back. "Now let's go find Ninjara...hopefully this won't turn into a game of hide-and-seek."
As the ninja pals left the premises, the buddy cops showed up, planning out their diabolical plan to take out Min Min. First things first was finding out just where in the mansion Min Min was.
"If I were Min Min, and it was my first day at the mansion...where would I be?" Toon Link asked, scanning the entire area as he stroked his chin. "What could I be possibly doing?"
"Eating ramen noodles in the dining room?" guessed Young Link, throwing out perhaps the most plausible scenario there was. "Or would that be too predictable of her?"
"Right you are, right you are...but Min Min seems like a very predictable woman. Very easy to see right through her. Thinks she can hide everything, but she can't!"
"It's the mask. It's the mask that makes her think that way. Same goes for Ribbon Girl - remembered when she tried to hide the fact that she was an actually talented singer?"
"Everyone knows it's impossible to hide something that isn't true - if Ribbon Girl is half the singer she thinks she is, she wouldn't be wasting her time at this mansion, working for some lousy fox and his wangster bird friend."
"Indeed. I would tell Fox and Falco that their record company stinks, but I'm too scared...scared that they might be unable to handle the truth. But you know what they say, the truth will set you free..."
"Enough talk about this truth, we'll focus on that later. Right now, we need to see if that manor double-agent is nearby..."
The buddy cops went to the dining room, and would you know it, they saw Min Min, eating noodles with Mario and Ike. Ike wanted some ramen noodles from Min Min, and he got what he wanted.
"These noodles-a are simply delicious, Min Min!" Mario said to the martial artist, as he was unable to put his chopsticks down for one second. "Please tell-a me there's more noodles in store-a for us."
"My dad wants to distribute tons of noodles to the mansion and tower," Min Min said to Mario, as the very thought of this made the buddy cops sick to their stomach. "Just as a kind gesture for...you know."
"So this means we can have all the ramen noodles we want?" asked Ike, who was now living the dream. The dream of a prototypical college student, perhaps. "Man, I love Mintendo! I could give all the workers there a big hug!"
Ike: I'm not much of a noodle person, but I would kill for a different snack every now and then. I've grown tired of the malasadas, and the cheesesteak fad has already worn out its welcome, no matter how hard Master Hand deceptively tries to keep it alive. Bring on the Age of Ramen!
"Look at them, eating noodles..." Toon Link shook his head at Min Min, with a heavy disdain for others that he never had before. "...absolutely disgusting. I'm sick to my stomach!"
"You wanna know what's even more disgusting?" asked Young Link, beaming with disgust as he watched Mario and Min Min have a normal, friendly conversation. "Mario and Min Min, acting all friendly! I know why..."
"...it's because they're both double agents for the All-Star Manor! That's why they became friends so quickly. They're sharing secrets, in broad daylight!"
"Yeah, and it's bad enough that Ike has to hear that crap. We should save him, before his previously innocent mind gets corrupted."
Taking action, the buddy cops leaped into the dining room. Toon Link grabbed Mario's bowl of noodles, and stuffed the noodles down Mario's throat, causing the plumber to choke.
"Mario!" yelled Min Min, as she ran to Mario and gave him the Heimlich maneuver. Ike could only watch, as Min Min applied pressure to Mario until the plumber started hacking up noodles on the dining room floor.
"Who wants some tea to go along...with their...noodles?" asked Cilan as he entered the dining room, only to trail off when he saw the noodles on the floor, covered in saliva, while Min Min was holding up Mario. The connoisseur kept his lips pursed, before heading back inside the kitchen. "I always ask at the wrong time..."
"What secrets are you sharing with each other?" Toon Link asked Mario and Min Min, having his bow out and directing it at both of them. Young Link, who cared a lot about Ike's innocence, covered the swordsman's ears.
"Secrets? What secrets?" questioned Mario as he raised an eyebrow, while Min Min and Ike both shared the plumber's great confusion. "We were just having a friendly conversation about noodles..."
"That's obviously code for sharing secrets," assumed Young Link, knowing that Mario and Min Min had absolutely nothing to hide. "Don't make us turn this into NoodleGate! You wouldn't like it if we..."
"Sup Min Min, can I have some noodles?" Sonic asked the martial artist, as he came inside the dining room carrying a white bowl. The buddy cops warily looked on, fearing that Sonic was making an extremely poor life decision. "If it's not too much trouble..."
"You can get the noodles from that pot over there," replied Min MIn, directing Sonic's attention to a large pot of noodles sitting on the dining room table. Sonic walked over to the pot...only for Toon Link to run over and knock the pot to the floor.
"NO NOODLES FOR YOU!" Toon Link shouted at Sonic, acting as if he had just saved the hedgehog's life as the noodles spilled unto the floor. Sonic stared at the wasted noodles, disappointed as ever.
"Seriously, Toon Link? That was enough noodles for everyone!" Min Min scolded the young Hylian, who picked up the noodles and tossed them into the nearby trash can. "My folks at Mintendo worked hard to perfect those noodles!"
"You mean those poisonous noodles?" questioned Toon Link, glaring at Min Min with a level of contempt he would have for an anti-American terrorist. "Those noodles are all part of your plan to poison the entire mansion!"
"Just like how you wanted to poison us at the treaty signing last year," Young Link said to Min Min, as he still had Ike's ears covered. Ike was just chilling, silently slurping his noodles without bringing much attention to himself. "You're nothing more than a mass murderer, wanting to claim the lives of many!"
"First Kasumi, and now Min Min?" Sonic shook his head at the buddy cops, remembering when Toon Link and Young Link "investigated" Kasumi during her first day at the mansion. "I'm starting to think that you two are misogynists..."
"We're not misogynists - we're just skeptical of certain women," Toon Link defended himself and Young Link, as Young Link affirmed with a nod. "We call it when we see it, and we love nothing more than to put women in their rightful place!"
"Yup, sounds like something a misogynist would say..." Sonic would leave the dining room, his dreams of eating Mintendo's tasty noodles completely dashed. "...you guys can go ahead and do you."
"I can assure-a you, Min Min, Toon Link and Young Link don't act-a like this, most-a of the time," Mario informed the martial artist, before a very loud slurping sound was heard. The buddy cops collectively gasped, as they saw Ike slurping some noodles.
"IKE JUST POISONED HIMSELF!" panicked Young Link, before knocking the bowl of ramen noodles out of Ike's hands. The Hylian then brought Ike down to the floor, checking his temperature and heart rate and everything else.
"Couldn't let a man eat his noodles in peace, huh?" Ike frowned at Young Link, who was amazed that the swordsman was able to speak. To him, it was only a matter of time until Ike lost the ability to speak, walk, and even breathe.
"It's okay, Ike, the poison hasn't settled in yet, you still have some time left..." Young Link began checking Ike's pulse on his right wrist, as Toon Link joined his partner-in-crime.
"How is he looking?" Toon Link asked Young Link, startled by how chill Ike looked. It was then brought to Toon Link's attention that perhaps Ike didn't fear death as much.
"It's not good at all...I don't think he's gonna make it. We need to call in the EMTs, they'll know what to do!"
"We've already called the EMTs many times before, and they never respond." This made Young Link stressed out and sad, as he was witnessing Ike's last moments on earth. "There's no point in contacting them now."
"Stupid EMTs not answering 911 calls on their walkie-talkies..." For whatever reason, Young Link shed a tear for Ike, as he wiped said tear away. But now wasn't the time for giving up. "...what other choice do we have?"
"Our only choice is to bring Ike to Leia. She might not be a good-enough nurse, and she obviously doesn't dress like a nurse either, but she's the only help we have!"
"Honestly, guys, I feel just fine, nothing's wrong with me," Ike told the buddy cops, and yet they refused to believe the swordsman. "You both sure love nothing burgers..."
"Oh snap, the poison must've reached Ike's brain!" panicked Toon Link, fearing that this was now the end for Ike. Time was of the essence. "It's deluding him into thinking that he's not in serious pain!"
"Hurry, to the fitness center!" shouted Young Link, as he and Toon Link carried the "poisoned" Ike to the fitness center. They ran as far as their legs could carry him, not wanting Ike to perish from Mintendo's world-famous noodles.
"And you're sure they don't act like this, all of the time," a very worried Min Min said to Mario, unsure whether she should be amused or frightened by the scene that had just played out in front of her.
"Eh...you'll get used-a to it," replied Mario, who was very disappointed in the buddy cops' eccentric behavior. It was not a very good first impression for Min Min.
Pit: Dr. Cortex's campaign is coming along well - Cortex told me that he's looking for more people to join him on his campaign trail. So far, none of the new guys seem to be that interested - even Vault Boy turned Cortex down! But there's one person that Cortex hasn't asked yet...fingers crossed that everything goes well.
"Well Pit, it's now or never..." Cortex discussed with the angel, walking with him through the halls of the mansion. "...my only hope now is for Mechanica to join me in my ongoing quest to be man of the mansion!"
"Oh cool! It would be nice to have D. Va's little sister on our side," replied Pit; even if D. Va and Mechanica weren't related (which was obviously true), there was no denying the similarities between the two.
"Sure, D. Va's little sister, that certainly won't grow old...but think about all the brain power at our disposal! I'm smart, Mechanica's smart, Brio's smart, and you're...passable, but we'll be this mansion's smartest group of intellectuals!"
"Wow, I never thought that I would be associated with a group of intellectual minds...Kirby and Incineroar keep dragging me down. Always felt that I was the smartest out of the three. I guess they weren't smart enough to be a part of your team!"
"Let's not get ahead of ourselves now...perhaps I was too generous in saying that your intelligence was passable. Your reading ability is still worse than Mike Tyson's."
The buddy cops brought Ike to Leia's office in the fitness center, hoping that the nurse - no matter how mediocre they believed she was - could cure Ike. Toon Link and Young Link waited patiently inside the office for the diagnosis, giving Ike all the moral support he needed.
"According to my diagnosis, the poison seems to be dissolving in Ike's body," Leia told the buddy cops, playing along with their shenanigans. Both Toon Link and Young Link sighed in relief, glad that Ike could live to see another day. "Mostly in his body fluids."
"Thank you for your diagnosis, Nurse Leia," Young Link thanked the nurse, before asking a question that Leia was not ready for. "How much of the poison did you have to suck out of Ike's body?"
"Um...uh...close to seventy percent." Leia just threw out the first number that came to her head, and it had to be in double digits, too. "Sucked it out with a syringe. Ike didn't feel any pain whatsoever."
Leia: What I hate the most about Toon Link and Young Link and their buddy cop escapades is when they bring me an "ailing" resident to my office, and convince me to save said resident from dying. Had to cure residents of all sorts of fictitious diseases - brainpox, zombie fever, the white plague, and even cooties! Apparently, Toon Link and Young Link used to think that cooties were a childlike form of AIDS.
"I have to run a few errands around the mansion,," said Leia, grabbing a brown paper bag as she left her office. "I'll be right back with you, Ike...I guess."
"You should be thanking us, Ike - you would be a goner, if it weren't for us," Toon Link told the swordsman, who was just chilling on his patient bed. Ike hoped to get a lollipop out of his trip to the nurse's office.
"Uh, much appreciated boys," thanked Ike, who was feeling fine as ever; the only problem he was dealing with was a full stomach. "So, are you gonna let Min Min off the hook?"
"Let Min Min off the hook? After she tried to poison you? No way Jose! That Min Min is a clear sociopath, and she won't stop until everyone at the mansion drops dead."
"And not drop dead gorgeous, either - drop dead dead," added Young Link, as if Ike even needed any further clarification. "Min Min has a body count."
"You know, I liked you two a lot more before you became police officers..." said Ike, as the buddy cops quickly left Leia's office, desiring to put an end to Min Min's noodle-filled reign of terror. "...must be something in those doughnuts they eat. Or the malasadas."
There was nothing at the mansion that Tom Nook enjoyed more than a fresh cup of coffee - and the tanooki wasn't picky either. He literally had no preference, as he would drink any kind of coffee there was. Hazelnut, French vanilla, pumpkin spice - provided that there was the right amount of cream, Tom Nook was always satisfied.
Tom Nook was in the cafe, fixing himself a cup of coffee and humming a happy tune as he was doing so. Once he mixed in all the important ingredients - the sugar, the cream, and a touch of cinnamon on the side - the tanooki turned around, cup in head, being very careful not to waste any of his precious coffee. That is, until he ran into a certain mummy.
"Tom Nook!" Master Mummy bellowed the tanooki's name, as a startled Tom Nook nearly wasted some of his coffee on the floor. "You promised me that my family was at this mansion. Where are they?"
"They're, um...playing hide-and-seek," replied Tom Nook as he tried to back away, only for Master Mummy to inch closer to him. "Either that, or they have a special surprise waiting for you."
"If it is indeed a surprise, then that would explain why they have been hiding from me. Do you know what this surprise entails?"
"Unfortunately, I don't...but I know it's very special!" Master Mummy didn't want to believe Tom Nook, but he did find himself half-convinced. Which worked perfectly in Tom Nook's favor.
"Well, it better make up for all this time they've been away from me. Can you imagine your own family hiding from you, after all the time you spent searching for them?"
"Oh dear, that would be a terrible feeling..." Tom Nook was now feeling the heat, internally showing regret over his actions. On the flipside, however, Master Hand, would have been acting as candid as possible. No such thing as remorse found in his DNA.
"I hope that I see my family before the end of the day. And if I don't, Tom Nook...you'll be very sorry!" And with that, Master Mummy left the cafe, as Tom Nook let out a very nervous gulp.
"Used the old-fashioned Master Hand method, didn't you?" a certain Star Warrior asked Tom Nook, who turned around and saw Meta Knight chilling at a cafe table. "Why did you have to fib to Master Mummy like that?"
"Well how else was I supposed to entice him?" questioned Tom Nook, fearing that he was on the verge of bringing out Master Mummy's angry side. "I thought that he would be gentle enough to take things in stride..."
"It's not like we have a bunch of mummies lying around. You really goofed up, Tom Nook - I don't know how you're going to get yourself out of the mess you're in."
"But maybe you do..." Tom Nook took a sip from his coffee, assuring himself that everything would be alright. "...you are a candidate, after all, so you could prove your worth by saving my hide."
"And how would I do that? By finding some woman and kid, and wrapping them up in bandages and presenting them to Master Mummy as his family?"
"You know...that's actually not a bad idea! I'll leave you to it, Meta Knight, I know you can save my skin. I'll make sure to thank you later!" Tom Nook left the cafe, sipping his coffee as his confidence was now restored.
"What did I just get myself into..." Now it was Meta Knight who found himself in a pickle, potentially risking himself and Tom Nook facing some of Master Mummy's fury if things didn't go well.
The buddy cops went to the dining room, only to find out that Min Min had already left. Although the two could hunt down Min Min, and bring her to justice, there was one duty the duo had in mind...eliminating all the noodles.
"I'm surprised that Mario didn't die from poisoning when he ate all those noodles," Toon Link discussed with Young Link in the kitchen, making sure to bring Mario to justice at a later time. "The manor must've given him some pill that makes him immune to poison."
"As they would, given that Mario himself is a double agent for the manor," said Young Link, shaking his head at how Mario of all people stooped so low. "How could he sell himself out like that..."
"I have a question for you boys..." Cilan said to the buddy cops, as he was cooking some grub in steaming pots over the stove. "...if Mario was a manor 'double agent', then why isn't Master Hand aware of it?"
"Oh, but Master Hand is very much aware, he saw Mario selling out to the manor from the very beginning. That's why Master Hand had to remove Mario from the mansion; he'll likely send him out of Seattle in the future."
"So what about Mario's neighbors, were they removed from the mansion as well?" Young Link had no answer about that, but his partner-in-crime was able to back him up.
"...they're all complicit, we'll get to them later," replied Toon Link; you'd have to think that the buddy cops saw everyone they saw as a criminal or complicit, except for themselves.
Toon Link: Twintelle, Ninjara, and the others can stay, but Min Min and her noodles have got to go. Everyone knows how fake Min Min is - the way she tricks people into thinking that she's Chinese. Anyone with half a brain knows that Chinese people don't have natural blonde hair, let alone green eyes. It's very obvious that Min Min is using her faux Chinese nationality for popularity and clout - which is one of the reasons why we need her out of the mansion, pronto. No self-absorbed sociopaths allowed!
"Yo, Cilan, a bunch of noodles just got delivered to my house," Fox informed the connoisseur, as he and Falco entered the kitchen carrying boxes full of noodles. The buddy cops saw the word "Mintendo" written on the boxes, as they gasped. "Is there something wrong?"
"Mintendo sent noodles to your home?" Toon Link worriedly asked Fox, as a completely devastated Young Link fell down to his knees. "Are they trying to kill you?!"
"I mean, these noodles aren't for Fox and Krystal, they're for the residents..." replied Falco, being bothered by how much the buddy cops were overreacting. "...also, what's this about Mintendo wanting to kill people?"
"Don't you know? The noodles that Mintendo is known for are poisonous," Young Link informed the Star Fox pilots, who were undecided on either laughing at the Hylian or pitying him for his delusions. "We had to save Ike from the brink of death, after he ate some of Mintendo's noodles."
"Do you plan on doing the same to everyone else?" asked Fox, as the sudden implication quickly put the buddy cops extremely on edge. "Because I've seen all sorts of people eating the noodles..."
"They have?!" panicked Toon Link, on the verge of tears; he and Young Link couldn't believe that many of his friends and contemporaries were all going to die. "Min Min's mass exodus of the Smash Mansion is actually happening!"
"You boys sure love to blow things entirely out of proportion," smiled Cilan, as a curious Young Link looked inside one of the steaming pots on the stove. The Hylian gasped when he saw noodles in the pot, and even more noodles in the other pots as well.
"Look at this, Starsky - Cilan is cooking the poisonous noodles on the stove!" alerted Young Link, who couldn't believe what he was seeing. Everything was so surreal for him. "Cilan is aiding Min Min in her effort to kill everyone!"
"Why would Min Min ever want to kill anyone?" Without even answering Cilan's question, the buddy cops grabbed the pots of noodles, and threw them on the kitchen floor, much to Cilan's chagrin. "Oh come on, I just mopped the floor!"
"Quick, Hutch, kill Cilan before he gets to kill anyone else!" commanded Toon Link, as Young Link grabbed as many noodles as he could in his hand violently stuffed them down Cilan's throat.
"Sit tight, Cilan - that poison is gonna kill you soon enough!" Young Link told the connoisseur - how ironic that the buddy cops wanted to save lives, yet were highly intent on killing Cilan just to throw a wrench into Min Min's "evil plans".
"The fake poison won't kill me, but choking that man out certainly will..." remarked Fox, as he and Falco placed the boxes of noodles on the floor. "Let's get outta here, Falco, before those buddy cops try to choke us to death."
"Yeah, let's scram..." said Falco, as he and Fox left the mansion through the backdoor in the dining room. Meanwhile, Young Link was still stuffing the noodles down Cilan's throat, forcing the connoisseur to swallow.
"Is he swallowing, Hutch?" Toon Link asked Young Link, who had Cilan on the floor with noodles in his mouth. Young Link kept on stuffing, until he saw that Cilan was slowly closing his eyes...before they were closed for good.
"I think I did it..." said Young Link, huffing and puffing as he stood up; trying to kill Cilan nearly took the breath out of him. "...the poison must've finished him off."
"That's one less crook to worry about. Might be more on the loose, but we'll worry about them later. Saving our fellow residents is our priority now!"
The buddy cops left the kitchen - without even checking Cilan's pulse - wanting to save the residents before it was too late. Once Toon Link and Young Link were gone, Cilan slowly opened one eye, and seeing that the coast was clear, sat up and coughed out the noodles.
Cilan: I can't believe faking my own death actually worked! Played those buddy cops like a fiddle. I should probably do that more often - it would save me from having to attend Peach's yoga classes. If she comes into my room in the middle of the night to ask me one more time...
Min Min was already getting used to living at the mansion, and enjoying all the things that the mansion offered. The martial artist was in the table tennis room, playing some table tennis with fellow ARMS competitor Spring Man.
"Alright, Min Min, this is the last game!" exclaimed Spring Man, as he and Min Min were tied at one a piece. This third and last game was for all the marbles. "If I win here, you have no choice but to hand over your Smash invite to me!"
"I don't think it works that way, Spring Man..." stated Min Min, not surprised that Spring Man got snubbed over her. The saltiness ate at Spring Man each and every day. "...but I'll still kick your butt anyways. Something I've already grown accustomed to, in our ARMS matches."
"Oh, trying to be a little cocky, aren't ya? Well your cockiness is gonna be your..." Spring Man stopped speaking, as he heard someone screaming from outside the table tennis room. "...hey, did you hear that?"
"Hear what?" Soon Min Min heard the screaming as well, and it sounded like a call for help. Rushing to action, Min Min and Spring Man ran out of the table tennis room and into the hallway...
...where they found the buddy cops lying atop a downed Slippy Toad. Both youngsters had their arms wrapped around Slippy's neck, trying to make the frog regurgitate.
"Hold still, Slippy, while we save your life!" Toon Link said to the frog, who by the looks of it seemed to enjoy the way he was being treated. Weirdo. "We'll get that poison out of your body, in no time!"
"Stand back, I got this..." Spring Man said to Min Min, not wanting the martial artist caught up in the buddy cops shenanigans, as he walked towards the buddy cops. "...okay, fellas, what did Slippy Toad do this time?"
"Slippy ate some of Mintendo's poisonous noodles, and is likely on the brink of death," Young Link explained, as Min Min couldn't help but smile at the delusion she was seeing. "We need the noodles out of his stomach, before they get digested."
"It's okay, Young Link, I'm sure those noodles digested already," smiled Slippy, as the buddy cops gasped in horror and got off of Slippy. "Those noodles were so delicious...I could just eat them all day!"
"This is unbelievable...Slippy is a suicidal frog!" exclaimed a horrified Toon Link, as Min Min had her hand over her mouth to conceal her laughter. "We should've known..."
"Eh, he's Slippy - he's a certified weirdo," said Young Link, not taking Slippy's words seriously as Toon Link decided to calm down. "Of course he would love the noodles. I bet the poison won't even affect him as much."
"So ladies, were those some great noodles or what?" Rex asked Pyra and Mythra, strolling with the two Blades down the hallway. "I tell you what, I'm almost stuffed!"
"Yes, you ate those noodles like it was your last meal on earth..." remarked Pyra, before she and the others came to a stop when they ran into the buddy cops. Toon Link and Young Link looked at Pyra and company, on the verge of tears.
"You...ate the noodles?" asked Toon Link, as he was holding back the tears. Three of his fellow residents were bound to die soon...or so he and Young Link believed.
"Did you want some noodles yourselves?" inquired Mythra, who found it very odd that the buddy cops were getting all teary-eyed. "There should be more in the kitchen..."
"Admit it - you three just wanted to commit suicide!" Young Link pointed at Rex and company, leaving them confused. Min Min was holding back tears herself...tears of laughter. "By eating those deadly noodles."
"Look, if you wanted to commit suicide so bad, you could've just asked us," Toon Link said to Rex and company, expecting them to drop dead any second now. "We even organized a firing squad, for such situations."
Yiga Clansman: The buddy cops asked us to form a firing squad, as a means for homicidal and even suicidal purposes. When we asked them what their inspiration was, they claimed that they wanted to "recreate" Al Capone's murderers' row...got no clue as to who this Al Capone fellow is, but he sure sounds like a nice and wholesome guy!
At this point, Min MIn had just about enough of the buddy cops' silliness, as the martial artist unable to resist the urge to laugh. She found herself laughing uncontrollably, falling down to the floor as the buddy cops felt disgusted.
"Look at that, Hutch - that sociopath is maliciously laughing at all the lives she and her family have claimed, with her noodles!" Toon Link said to Young Link, pointing at the laughing Min Min and shaking his head in disapproval. "Now, Min Min will claim three more lives..."
"What 'three lives'?" questioned Rex, before furrowing his brow when he came to realization. "Oh, I see..."
"Hutch, you take Rex and his harem to the fitness center, so that Leia could save their lives. I'll be the one putting Min Min behind bars..."
"Behind bars for what, giving out noodles?" asked Min Min, her laughing fit coming to an end as Toon Link took out a pair of handcuffs. "You're seriously not going to arrest me, are you?"
"'You're seriously not going to arrest me, are you?'" Toon Link repeated what Min Min had said, in a very mocking and sarcastic tone. "That's what criminals typically say, before they get arrested and sent to jail. I should know, I've dealt with them on the daily..."
"Very likely story..." Min Min would stay put, as Toon Link came over with his pair of handcuffs. And then, when Toon Link least expected it...Min MIn leaped up off the floor, with a kickflip that sent the handcuffs out of Toon Link's hands.
"Ow, my finger!" whined Toon Link, wincing in pain and grabbing his hand as Min Min quickly made a run for it. "Only a sociopath would leave me in such unbearable pain!"
"You need to get a grip, kid..." Spring Man said to Toon Link, who eventually got over his "unspeakable" pain as he shook his head. Toon Link looked around, and saw that he and Spring Man were the only ones around.
"Hey, where did Min Min go? Hutch's gone, too...oh, right, he took Rex and his lady friends to Leia's office. But where's Min Min?!"
"That's for you to figure out." Spring Man casually walked away, not wanting to risk being arrested by Toon Link. He would've been arrested for "compliance" or somewhere along the lines of that.
"Let's see...if I were Min Min, and I was a fake Chinese person using noodles to kill everyone, where would I be..." Toon Link would ponder in thought, before gasping when he came to a sudden realization. "...the gaming room, of course!"
Min Min: No way am I going to get arrested on my first day at the mansion, and for letting people enjoy noodles no less. If those buddy cops think those noodles are "poisonous", then I wonder how they feel about pizza delivery. Master Hand clearly doesn't give a crap if he let ridiculous behavior like this continue for so long.
Being that she was an engineering genius, Mechanica was beyond floored upon discovering that the mansion had a workshop, where she could build stuff. She was in the workshop right now, already working on a project with fellow mansion newcomer Vault Boy.
"Didn't take you that long to be working on something..." Minato saw to Mechanica, as he oversaw the work of the genius and Vault Boy in the workshop. Whatever they were working on had caught his attention. "...mind telling me about that gizmo of yours?"
"We call it...the Atom Splitter!" exclaimed Mechanica, showing off the gizmo to Minato in all its scientific glory. "Or that's what I call it; Vault Boy just agreed on the name. It's highly volatile, so if I were to drop it right now..."
"...you know what, I think I got a good look at it, it seems nice." Minato sounded awfully cautious, as Mechanica placed the Atom Splitter back down. Minato was fearful that Mechanica would've dropped her gizmo, and trigger a nuclear explosion.
"Yo! D. Va's little sister!" someone called out, leaving Mechanica rather confused, as Pit strutted his way inside the workshop. "Are you busy right now?"
"I'm not her little sister..." Mechanica had a very slight worry that she would be compared a lot to D. Va, in the coming weeks. "...and yes, I'm busy. But I can take a break."
"Sweet! Because I have an offer for you that you cannot refuse! Well, it's an offer that one of my 'intellectual' pals have."
"Should I trust him?" a cautious Mechanica asked Minato, having every reason and every right to question Pit. From the get-go, Pit didn't look trustworthy.
"Any other instance, I would say no," replied Minato, before seeing the eagerness on Pit's face. "But it's your first day, so...I think he just wants to do something nice for you."
"Vault Boy, can you finish up the Atom Splitter for me?" Mechanica asked the mascot, who smiled and gave a reassuring thumbs up. "Alright, thanks!" Mechanica would leave the workshop with Pit, just as Meta Knight entered.
"Hate to bother you, on your first day...but I need you for a favor," Meta Knight said to Vault Boy, just as the mascot was about to start working. "It won't be much of a hassle."
Ninjara was continuing his ninja ways, as he was hiding behind a couch in the gaming room. Out of sight, out of mind. The ninja had no intentions of befriending the ninja pals anytime soon, and was doing his best to keep his distance.
"Keep that up, and you won't make friends anytime soon..." Twintelle said to Ninjara, sipping some tea as she sat on the couch that Ninjara was hiding behind. "...can't hide from your friends forever!"
"I don't need friends...they always come and go," Ninjara said to Twintelle - look at him, trying to be all edgy. Shadow better watch out. "And who are you to talk about friends?"
"Ninjara! Where are you?" Yuffie called out the ninja's name, as she and her ninja friends entered the gaming room. Now was Ninjara's cue to leave.
"Welp, time to make my move." Ninjara sprinted away from the couch, running at the speed of sound - so fast, it was impossible to see him.
"Hi Twintelle! Have you seen Ninjara anywhere?" Yuffie asked the movie star, who took a sip from her tea. Twintelle looked prepared to spill the beans...
"Can't say I have. He's been MIA since our little introduction in the lecture hall. He's very shy, but he'll come around after time." Ninjara should owe Twintelle a big thank you.
"Dang it...well, thanks anyways." Yuffie went back to her ninja pals, feeling more and more dejected by the minute. "Not even Twintelle has seen Ninjara...this is getting exhausting."
"So we're just gonna sit around, and wait for Ninjara to show up?" questioned Asuka, as Twintelle secretly smiled with her cup of tea over her mouth. Asuka was at first optimistic about Ninjara joining the ninja pals, but that optimism was running fast...
Sheik: No, we're still not considering letting Goemon join us. Does it look like I want to buy earbuds for me and my friends?
"Pardon me, Princess...I mean, Sheik..." Meta Knight said to the ninja, fumbling on his own words as Sheik focused her attention on the Star Warrior. "...do you have any spare bandages that I can use? If it's not too much trouble, of course..."
"Sure - what do you need them for?" asked Sheik, handily taking out a roll of bandages.
After a quick bathroom break, Toon Link went down to the fitness center to make sure that Rex, Pyra, and Mythra had their lives "saved" by Leia. When he got there, the young Hylian saw Young Link outside the fitness center entrance, getting chewed out by Mitsuru.
"All these people are going to DIE!" Young Link said to Mitsuru, as he pointed inside the fitness center; he was being very passionate, something that Toon Link loved to see. "How do you not want to save them?"
"Get over yourself, they just ate some noodles," replied Mitsuru, her lack of carelessness for the residents' lives triggering Young Link. "You can't possibly be that paranoid..."
"What seems to be the situation here?" inquired Toon Link as he walked over to Young Link and Mitsuru; Mitsuru frowned at Toon Link, having a bone to pick with him.
"Toon Link, can you explain why all these people are inside the fitness center all at once?" Mitsuru pointed inside the fitness center, which had a bunch of residents - none of which were terribly sick or showing symptoms. Toon Link saw this, feeling alarmed.
"Those poor, poor people ate some of the noodles made by Mintendo, and have been poisoned. Hutch and I are doing our part to save their lives."
"You boys are acting like Min Min forced these people to eat the noodles...these people chose to eat the noodles themselves." Toon Link and Young Link were beyond shocked, as they both gasped collectively.
"So many suicidal people inside this mansion..." moaned Young Link, burying his face in his hands as he couldn't come to grips with reality. Well, his own reality. "...our firing squad would have a field day with such low-lifes."
"We might as well start calling this place the Suicide Mansion," said Toon Link, unsure of whether or not he would put up with such a name. "If that's what the people want..."
Mitsuru: Used to think that the buddy cops were a bit misunderstood, and that nobody liked them only because of their childish ways. But given how they take every little thing seriously, and blow menial things perfectly out of proportion...I must say that I am very frightened by the two.
"You boys overreacting again?" Min Min asked the buddy cops, approaching them while eating a bowl of her noodles - which bothered Toon Link and Young Link. "My noodles aren't deadly."
"Min Min is committing suicide herself, by eating her own noodles!" Toon Link accusingly pointed at Min Min, who stopped eating her noodles as she gave Toon Link a deadpan stare. "Oh, how the tables have turned..."
"She's only doing it to free herself from the mayhem she caused," accused Young Link, as he and Toon Link pounced on Min MIn and brought her down to the floor. "Don't think you can get away so easily, Min Min!"
"Get...off...of me!" The buddy cops refused to let go, as they had Min Min pinned to the floor. "Mitsuru, do something already!"
"I'll be...I'll be right back," Mitsuru responded as she ran off, much to Min Min's chagrin. Mitsuru would deal with the buddy cops herself, but she had someone in mind that would do arguably a much better job.
"You're coming with us, Min Min," Toon Link said to the martial artist, holding her hands behind her back; it wasn't worth handcuffing her a second time. "Come with us to our office, and nobody gets hurt..."
"Like you're even capable of hurting anyone..." grumbled Min Min, wondering what she had done to deserve this treatment. "...let's hurry this up, get this stupid thing over with."
The workshop was left unoccupied, as the Atom Splitter that Mechanica and Vault Boy were working on sat on the workshop table. Link and Cloud took a peek inside the workshop, as they came inside.
"Hello? Anyone in here?" Link called out, as he and Cloud crept inside the workshop. The two swordsmen saw the Atom Splitter, and were left intrigued by it. "Hey Cloud, what do you think that thing is?"
"Whatever it is, it sure looks dangerous," observed Cloud, fearing that mishalding the Atom Splitter would cause the entire mansion to explode. Master Hand wouldn't be terribly happy about that. "I wouldn't touch it if I were you..."
"...you were saying?" Link now had his hand on the Atom Splitter, and Cloud was on edge as he cautiously backed away for his own safety. "Look, this thing isn't even doing anything. I bet you that it isn't turned on yet."
"Yeah, I still wouldn't trust. Who knows what it can do..." Suddenly the workshop door loudly creaked open, and Cloud turned around and saw Mitsuru.
"Hello, Mr. Honorary Sheriff..." Mitsuru greeted Cloud, who immediately groaned when he realized what was up. "...those buddy cops are up to no good again."
"When are they ever up to any good?" Cloud was usually the one to set the buddy cops straight, and this was another one of those moments. "What did they do this time?"
"They're accusing Min Min of using her noodles to 'kill' the residents. Those boys think that the noodles are literal poison. Nothing I can do could convince them otherwise."
"Probably just an excuse to arrest one of the new guys. I'll do my best to reason with them." Cloud would leave the workshop, following Mitsuru. Link placed the Atom Splitter back on the table, and left.
Mechanica met with Cortex, Brio, and Pit in Cortex's room, with Cortex doing his best to persuade Mechanica to join forces with him. Having Mechanica on his side would be huge for the evil genius.
"As you can see, we're a group of highly intellectual people," Cortex said to Mechanica, who felt slightly skeptical as she saw the "intellectual" Pit picking his nose. "You're an intellectual yourself, which would mean that you would fit right in with us!"
"Your brain power is undeniably invaluable," Brio enticed Mechanica, in an attempt to sway the young genius' mind. "Who better to share your genius with, than the mighty Dr. Neo Periwinkle Cortex!"
"Told you not to mention my middle name..." Cortex frowned at Brio, smacking his friend on the back of his bald head. "...it harms my reputation."
"I would like to join you guys, but...I'm just not that interested," said Mechanica, turning down the offer as a stunned Cortex left his mouth agape. "Unless we're building stuff together."
"Oh, but we will build stuff together! Specifically, stuff that would only benefit me, and my ongoing campaign. You have built something before, yes?"
"Well, Vault Boy and I did work on this thing called an Atom Splitter...I can show it to you guys, if you like." Cortex was delighted, as he wished to see how great of an inventor Mechanica was.
"That would be splendid! Always love me some good old show-and-tell. I can't wait to see your hard work and genius!"
Mechanica: This is very exciting, nobody has ever been so interested in my work before! Perhaps Dr. Cortex isn't so bad, after all. I've been told early on that he was a walking failure, and that his very existence was a mistake, but I think those people are just jealous.
Mechanica brought Cortex and company to the workshop, ready to show them the Atom Splitter. She expected the men to be absolutely floored.
"Wow, what an awesome-looking Atom Splitter!" squealed Pit, as he picked up a random can opener lying on the workshop table. "Such simplistic design and quality...Mechanica, you sure have outdone yourself!"
"Pit, are you telling me that you've never seen a..." Brio said to the angel before catching his tongue; he couldn't afford to make Pit look bad in front of Mechanica. "...please excuse Pit, Mechanica - he's so intellectual that he's never used simple kitchen appliances before."
Pit: Brio's right on the money - I've never used simple kitchen appliances before! Last time I did though, I cut my hand wide open and was bleeding all over the place. I was using the lemon squeezer.
"Here's the Atom Splitter," said Mechanica, picking up the contraption and showing it off to Cortex and company. "So, what do you think?"
"It's very unique, I'll give it that!" Cortex offered his two cents, as Mechanica let the evil genius hold the Atom Splitter. "Not sure if it'll help me win the man of the mansion job, but it would be a good start!"
"Wait...so you don't want to build things together? You just want to use my intelligence to your advantage, just to earn some lousy title?"
"That's not entirely true...I mean, the man of the mansion job isn't that lousy."
"And I thought you were a good guy..." Her mind made up, Mechanica angrily took the Atom Splitter away from Cortex, before storming out of the workshop.
"How about I make a patent for your Atom Splitter? Would that make things up for you?" Cortex chased after Mechanica, while Pit grabbed the can opener and tried to stick it up his nose. Such an intellectual maneuver...
Master Mummy sat on one of the barstool chairs in the arcade room, looking at a picture of his family - his wife and son. He only agreed to join the mansion just to be with his family, and he had yet to see them.
"Tom Nook made a promise..." the mummy said, as he still had a bone to pick with Tom Nook. "...he better hold up his end of the bargain, or he's gonna pay!"
"Ah, there you are, Master Mummy!" Meta Knight approached the mummy, taking a deep breath and hoping that Master Mummy wouldn't pummel him. "I am Meta Knight, and I am here to do a favor on Tom Nook's behalf."
"Is it about my family?" Master Mummy was as giddy as a little child, just dying to see his family. "Where are they? Show me!"
"Come on in..." Meta Knight beckoned to two mummies - one female, and the other a young child - as they came inside the arcade room. "...here is your family, Master Mummy."
"That can't be my family..." Master Mummy was very skeptical, as he looked at the picture in his hand. He repeatedly exchanged looks with the picture, and the two mummies standing before them.
"Is there something wrong?" Obviously there was something wrong, as Master Mummy was angrily gritting his teeth. The mummy felt like he just got played.
"You fool...this isn't my family!" Master Mummy tore off the bandages off the two mummies, and saw their true identities...Yuffie and Vault Boy. "Do you think that I'm stupid?!"
"Kind of," Yuffie honestly replied, as Vault Boy nonchalantly smiled and waved at the even angrier Master Mummy. Nobody insulted Master Mummy's intelligence and got away with it.
"Tom Nook put you up to this, didn't he? He's gonna wish he never made that promise!" Master Mummy got into an angry fit, as Meta Knight and company retreated into the hallway her Sheik and her ninja pals waited.
"Let me guess...it didn't go as planned," assumed Sheik, as she heard Master Mummy screaming loudly; Tom Nook oughta run for his life, if he knew what was good for him.
"Turns out that Master Mummy is smarter than he looks," replied Yuffie, as Master Mummy was heard taking out his frustration on an arcade machine. "If anyone asks, I was never a part of this..."
Min Min was in the buddy cops' police station, forced to partake in an investigation. She saw the buddy cops' board of suspects and saw her picture along with the new residents - interestingly enough, Twintelle's picture was nowhere to be seen on the board.
"Be honest - how many lives total have Mintendo claimed?" Toon Link interrogated Min Min, as he and Young Link circled around the martial artist in an intimidating manner.
"They've never killed anyone..." stated Min Min, as the buddy cops laughed at the martial artist out of disbelief. "...sure, we gave some customers high blood pressure, but that's about it."
"And you know what high blood pressure leads to?" Young Link asked Min Min, stopping and pointing at the martial artist as she eyed around. "Hypertension! And what does hypertension lead to? Heart disease and stroke!"
"You literally admitted that Mintendo's noodles can put people at risk of death," Toon Link said to Min Min; suing the crap out of Mintendo was on the agenda for the Hylian. "Then again, I wouldn't expect less from a girl who gives away poisonous noodles like it's candy."
"The noodles aren't poisonous...if they were, why would I give them out in the first place?" questioned Min Min - little did she know that the buddy cops had an answer for any question she dared to ask.
"Because you want to see everyone at the mansion DEAD! The All-Star Manor would love nothing more than to see us all be goners. And you're secretly working for them!"
Isabelle: For the most part, the mansion is on friendly terms now with the All-Star Manor, after Mario accepted the manor's truce. Yet Toon Link and Young Link still believe that the manor should be the bane of our existence. Those two hold so many grudges, it won't be long until they start holding grudges against each other...
"It's me, your honorary sheriff..." Cloud said to the buddy cops, knocking on their door. Young Link answered the door, and saw Cloud standing by with Mitsuru.
"Come in, come in..." said Young Link, as Cloud entered the police station; Mitsuru followed after Cloud, only to be stopped by Young Link. "...nope, only Cloud is allowed."
"You have no control over me..." Mitsuru scolded Young Link, pushing him to the side; Young Link gasped and grabbed his chest, stunned that Mitsuru had the audacity to touch him.
"Good thing that you're here, Cloud, we need you to set Min Min straight," Toon Link said to the swordsman, who was curiously holding something behind his back. "This chick needs to be punished, for poisoning the residents with her noodles."
"Oh, you mean...these noodles?" Cloud pulled out a bowl of noodles from behind his back, while taking out some chopsticks. It was a fresh bowl of noodles, steaming hot.
"Yeah, those noodles! Min Min wants to use them to kill off our...what are you doing?" Toon Link and Young Link became afraid, as they witnessed Cloud holding some noodles with his chopsticks.
"Cloud here is going to prove you boys wrong," Mitsuru said to the buddy cops, as they were watching Cloud with a certain fear they never had before.
"He's gonna prove us wrong by killing himself?! What good would that do?"
"If I eat these noodles, and I don't die in sixty seconds..." Cloud said to the buddy cops, who couldn't bear to lose their honorary sheriff. "...will you boys finally admit that the noodles aren't poisonous, and that Min Min did no wrong?"
"Even if Min Min is a double agent for the All-Star Manor?" asked Young Link; the buddy cops were going to die on that hill, no matter what.
"Oh, and you also must admit that Min Min isn't a double agent. Understood?"
"Understood..." The buddy cops were against Cloud eating the noodles, but they had no other choice in the matter. "...okay, Cloud, do your worst."
So Cloud slurped up all the noodles, as the buddy cops both cringed in fear. Once he was done, Cloud handed the bowl and the chopsticks to Mitsuru.
"Start the timer..." Cloud muttered to Mitsuru, who took out her phone and started a timer. With bated breath, and a tint of nervousness, Toon Link and Young Link waited for sixty seconds...
...and once the sixty seconds were up, Cloud remained standing. He didn't stop breathing, fall to the floor and croak...the swordsman was just fine.
"Uh, you might wanna give it another minute or two," advised Toon Link, likely too chicken to admit that he and Young Link were in the wrong. "The poison likely hasn't settled in yet."
"It's been over three minutes," stated Mitsuru, keeping track of the time, as Toon Link nervously pulled on his collar. "Shouldn't the poison settle in by now?"
"It probably did, which means...the Cloud standing before us is now a zombie!" affirmed Young Link, as he and Toon Link quickly whipped out their bow and arrows. "Time to take out the trash!"
"I'm not a zombie...I feel just fine," stated Cloud as he moved around a bit, stretching his arms and whatnot. The buddy cops saw that the swordsman was telling the truth, dismayed that their narrative was completely shot. "Turns out those noodles really aren't deadly and poisonous."
"And because Cloud didn't die, you boys have no choice but to save some face," Mitsuru said to the buddy cops, who turned around to face Min Min. "Spit it out, you two..."
"You go first," Young Link nudged Toon Link, before Mitsuru cleared her throat and frowned intensely at the buddy cops. Sucking up all their pride, Toon Link and Young Link confronted Min Min, having to make their apology.
"We're very sorry for accusing you of being a homicidal maniac," Toon Link apologized to Min Min, him and Young Link finally learning their lesson. "And for thinking that the noodles were extremely deadly."
"And you're not a double agent working for the manor," stated Young Link, affirming what has been obvious the very moment Min Min stepped foot inside the mansion. "We were targeting the wrong person this whole time!"
"Ninjara is a sneaky dude...maybe he's the double agent! Would explain why he's been avoiding us all day." Having made their apologies, the buddy cops turned to Cloud and Mitsuru. "Thank you, honorary sheriff Cloud, for helping us see the light. You too, Miss Kirijo."
"Don't mention it," responded Cloud, as the buddy cops left their police station ready to deal out justice around the mansion. Once the buddy cops left, Cloud sighed. "Those two really get on my nerves..."
"You sure have some patience, for putting up with them for so long," Mitsuru said to Cloud, as Min Min got out of her chair. Min Min's name was cleared; no longer did the martial artist have to worry about the buddy cops anymore.
"So glad that's over with..." remarked Min Min, as she wished to ask Cloud and Mitsuru a very curious question. "...has Master Hand ever reprimanded those two?"
"I don't think he's ever punished Toon Link and Young Link..." replied Cloud as he looked at Mitsuru, who didn't have an answer herself. "...he's pretty much the biggest enabler you'll ever meet, honestly."
While the buddy cops made their apology to Min Min, Tom Nook had an apology to make himself. The tanooki encountered Master Mummy in the foyer, looking at a picture of his family.
"Master Mummy?" Tom Nook called out to the mummy, who was angered when he saw Tom Nook...only to cool down when he noticed how frank the tanooki was. "Got a few things I need to get off my chest..."
Tom Nook: Felt really bad about what I did to Master Mummy, using his family as a reason for him to join the mansion. So I did the right thing - I spoke with Master Mummy, admitted fault for my actions, and apologized for what I had done. Basically, I decided to man up, and take accountability for my actions...Master Hand could never!
After he made his apology to Master Mummy, Tom Nook walked through the hallway, eventually running into Meta Knight. The tanooki had to make an apology to him.
"My plan didn't turn out too well..." Meta Knight explained to Tom Nook, who could only imagine how things turned out wrong. "...I disguised Yuffie and Vault Boy as mummies, and portrayed them as Master Mummy's family, but Master Mummy didn't believe it."
"No, Meta Knight, this is all my fault, I shouldn't have put you to it," Tom Nook admitted to the Star Warrior, once again taking some accountability. "I should've told Master Mummy the truth. I'm sorry for putting you in that predicament. I just spoke with Master Mummy, and he accepted my apology."
"But what about his family? He didn't want to join the mansion unless his family was here, isn't that right?"
"We discussed that, for quite a bit; he said that he'll put the search for his family on hold, and just enjoy mansion life. He's holding out hope that he'll see his wife and son one day."
"That's pretty encouraging to hear. Oh, and one more thing...this whole incident won't hurt my candidacy in any way, will it?"
"Absolutely not! You're not in any trouble, this was all my fault. I was pretty much pulling a Master Hand...nobody should ever pull a Master Hand." That was an unwritten rule worth adhering to.
Earlier in the day, the buddy cops were against the noodles from Mintendo, a hundred percent certain that Min Min was giving them out just to kill off the residents. But now the tide had finally turned, as Toon Link and Young Link were eating Mintendo's noodles in the dining room.
"More noodles, boys?" Min Min asked the buddy cops, entering the dining room with a tray containing several bowls of noodles.
"Keep 'em coming!" exclaimed Toon Link as he beckoned over to Min Min, who placed the tray on the table. Min Min smiled in delight, as the buddy cops were spluring down the noodles like it was their last meal on earth.
"You know what, these noodles really are poisonous..." said Young Link as he stopped eating, with Toon Link and Min Min staring at the Hylian with eyes wide open. "...poisoning my stomach by being so delicious!"
"Right on, brother!" exclaimed Toon Link, as Young Link happily resumed eating. Min Min let out a sigh of relief, as the buddy cops continued devouring the noodles.
Young Link: We have learned a lot of things today...Mintendo isn't an evil company like Amazon, and Min Min is neither a homicidal maniac nor a double agent for the All-Star Manor. As for Mario...the jury's kinda still out on him.
Toon Link: Another thing we've learned is that Mintendo makes some really good ramen noodles. *holds up bowl of noodles* Now, Hutch, sing the theme song, while I like to slurp down these noodles before you finish...
Young Link: *sings Law and Order theme song*
Toon Link: *nearly chokes* Eating this with a fork was a mistake...