Author's Note:

So, I'm pretty sure that many of you are aware about all the controversy that went down in the Smash competitive community. Many of them being sexual allegations and such.

Like everyone else, I woke up to all the stuff going on, and I was surprised by everything that I had seen online. Although I'm technically late to the party, I'm sure that most of you are interested in hearing my thoughts on the chaos that ensued, so I'll just offer my two cents...

I'll be honest with you, I was never really a huge fan of either Nairo or ZeRo. Outside of their Smash reactions, I barely watched any of their content, and I never watched any of their performances in any of the Smash tournaments. That being said, however, I was shocked to learn about their allegations.

Nairo, he should've known better than to do what he did with Captain Zack. Captain Zack, however, isn't really a victim since he has shown to be very manipulative (if his incident with Ally is any indication). Also saying that "he was a kid" isn't a good excuse; the dude clearly knew what he was doing. I believe that Captain Zack should be removed from the Smash competitive community altogether, before he tries to bring another Smash pro down.

As for ZeRo, the stuff he did was nothing compared to Nario's actions, and the actions of the others who were accused, and I think he might have a chance at redemption. And his accuser, Jisu, should've gone to the police and told them about the stuff that was happening at Sky Williams' house (where the incident happened) rather than spilling the beans on social media. Honestly, I don't necessarily see her as a victim either. ZeRo at least still has his girlfriend, Vanessa, so it's good that he's got some emotional support...

...now for the others. Cinnpie...is a straight-up pedophile, no questions asked. Keitaro...should deserve to do some time in jail. Sky Williams...judging from the stories I've read online, seems like a sociopath, and should be kept as far away from the Smash competitive scene as possible. I've read all sorts of stories about Sky Williams' house, and Sky should've nipped all the bad things going on there in the bud, rather than letting it go on. So he's pretty much done.

There's a good lesson to learn from all of this, and it's one that everyone should learn - never put people on a high pedestal. Also, it's never a good idea to form parasocial relationships with those online. Just because someone makes good web content, or even writes good fanfiction (HINT, HINT) doesn't necessarily make that person your friend, your main man, your homie, your brotha from anotha motha, or anything of the like. Always value the friendships you have with those around you, and most importantly, always do the right thing. And be good to one another - I can't stress that enough.

Now unto the story...enjoy the chapter, everyone!

Episode 237: Twilight

"I got a delivery for ya," a delivery guy said, as he entered an office while carrying a package in his hands. Inside the office sitting at his desk was Mario, who was sharply dressed from head to toe.

"Leave it at-a the reception," Mario said to the delivery man as he was looking down at his desk, furiously writing something on a blank piece of paper.

"I'm supposed to deliver this one in person." Suddenly out of nowhere, the delivery man pulled out a gun and started shooting at Mario, who dodged dramatically. Mario then pulled out two handguns and killed the delivery man with an unnecessarily large amount of bullets.

"Clean-a up on aisle five..." Staring down at the delivery man he just killed, Mario blew away the smoke emitting from his handguns, before placing them back in his pockets.

No, Mario didn't actually kill a delivery man, and he wasn't working in some random office somewhere. That scene of Mario killing the delivery man - who was actually Link's mailman - was a scene from a movie. Mario was in his living room watching the movie on his computer, as the title screen "Threat Level: Twilight" appeared on the screen.

"Is that...supposed to be a movie?" questioned Spyro as he showed up in the living room, taking a gander at the computer screen. "Looks very low-budget."

"It might be low-a budget, but it's high quality to me..." responded a very proud Mario, who was beaming with pride as he watched his beloved film. Must be a passion project of his, one he kept in secrecy.

Mario: After three or so years-a of writing, one year of shooting, four-a years of re-shooting and two years of editing, I have finally completed my movie, Threat Level: Twilight.

"Ooh, is that the movie you've been working on in secret?" Peach asked Mario as she came around the corner, recognizing the title screen. Peach offered to help Mario out with his film, yet Mario insisted he had everything all under control. "I should go out and spread the word!"

"I don't think that's-a such a good idea..." said Mario, but that didn't stop Peach from running outside. To Mario's chagrin, the fivesome of Ness, Lucas, Paula, Poo, and Kumatora were all outside playing baseball and stuff.

"Guys! Guys. Did you guys know that our own Mario has finished making his movie?" Peach asked Ness and company, as Mario joined his wife at the front door. "Maybe he will let us watch it, but only if everybody's dying to see it."

"That's...well, don't put words-a in my mouth, Princess Peach. Only I'll decide-a whether people get to see my film-a or not."

Link: Threat Level: Twilight is the great lost film of Mario.
Zelda: We're all in it, from like a few years ago. It's like a home movie.
Link: Yeah, if Mario did your home movie!
Zelda: Mario screened a work in progress for us, years ago, and it didn't go well. We thought it was a comedy; Mario stormed out while everyone was laughing at the TV. Everything pointed to it being a comedy.

Mario went around the mansion, asking the residents if they were interested in checking out his movie. A majority of the residents were intrigued, just as Mario had assumed.

"We'd love to see it!" Zelda said to Mario in the gaming room, as her acting debut was about to finally come to fruition. She had her fingers crossed that Mario didn't embarrass her too much in his movie.

"Sweet, I will go invite-a Twintelle," said Mario, thinking that Twintelle would be interested given that she was an actress who owned a movie theater. "She would be a huge fan." As soon as Mario left the gaming room, Zelda turned her attention to everyone in the gaming room.

"Okay everyone, I know we're really excited to see this movie that, well, most of you are in, but we have to remember that Mario can be very sensitive at times, so let's stay positive! And no laughing, no comments, just positive energy and we'll have a pure fun day! Okay?"

"Thanks mom..." replied Snake, in a very sarcastic tone. He was bound to refer to Zelda as mom a lot, if she ever got the woman of the mansion gig. Her chances were pretty high at the moment...

All the residents gathered in the lecture hall, eager to see Mario's film on the big screen. Residents from the Assist Tower were invited, and Mario's neighbors were invited too. Travis Touchdown showed up, and Master Kogha did as well, with a few select members of the Yiga Clan.

"I had no idea you made a movie," Twintelle said to Mario as she took a seat next to the plumber; Mario was seated in the front row, with Peach.

"Mhmm! It's got action, it's got heart, it's got some-a bosom," Mario happily replied, hoping that Twintelle had high expectations for his movie. Anything short would ultimately devastate the plumber.

"It's got you...so it must already be a must-watch film."

"It's got a lot of me, I can-a tell you that..."

"I can't wait..." Twintelle laughed, as Isabelle appeared on the lecture hall stage. The moment the shih tzu faced the audience, all the talking and commotion in the lecture hall quickly hushed.

"Ladies and gentleman...Threat Level: Twilight." Isabelle announced to the crowd, being met with a roar of applause and cheers. Isabelle walked off the stage, as the film leader countdown appeared on the big screen. Once the countdown struck zero, the movie finally began...

"Mario Scarn, well that's an interesting story," narrated Doc Louis, the apparent narrator of Threat Level: Twilight. Mario sure knew how to pick a good narrator. There was an establishing shot of Mario's manor, which looked like B.D. Joe's house, as headlines of Mario Scarn's success are shown as well as an article reporting the death of Mario's wife, Peach Scarn. "He was once the best secret agent in the business. That was years ago. Where is he now? Well, that's also an interesting story."

The next shot was inside B.D. Joe's...uh, Mario's manor, where Mario was in his bedroom lying in his bed with a bottle of alcohol. Pit entered the room, dressed up as a butler; he was no Alfred Pennyworth, but at least he had the mustache to look the part.

"Master Scarn..." Pit said to the sleeping Mario, speaking in a low, deep voice. If you've been used to Pit speaking with his typical happy-go-lucky tone, hearing the angel speak so dignified would make you feel rather uncanny.

Pit: I play Emanuel, Mario Scarn's robot butler. I wanted Emanuel's voice... *does a robot impression* ...to be like this! *reverts back to normal* But Mario thought that Emanuel should be a very advanced android, almost indistinguishable from a real person.

Mario: Pit does-a not play a robot. Talked-a him out of it too many times...

Since Emanuel couldn't wake up Mario the old-fashioned way, the butler had to take things further, and take out two cymbals. He crashed the cymbals by Mario's ear, loud enough to make him wake up.

"I'm up, I'm up!" announced a very alert Mario, sitting up in his bed while still holding his bottle of alcohol. The secret agent looked around, getting a sense of his surroundings.

"It's the president, he needs you for a mission," Emanuel informed Mario, stressing the importance of the situation. Any time the president of the United States wants to speak with you, you never back down from the opportunity.

"Tell him I'm-a retired..." Mario turned over on his bed, with his pillow over his head. He couldn't be bothered speaking with the president at a time like this, not when he was tired.

"It's Goldenface...the man who killed your wife." And just like that, Mario immediately sat up on his bed, as the name "Goldenface" was quickly registered in his mind.

"Goldenface...this makes it personal." Mario immediately sprang out of bed, ready to put on his clothes. A threat like Goldenface, whoever it might be, should never be ignored.

The next scene was in the Oval Office, and seated at the desk was the president of the United States...President Rodin. The weapons dealer was chilling at the desk with a cigar in his mouth, which was not very presidential.

"Scarn, you're right on time," Rodin said to Mario, who was joined by Emanuel in the Oval Office; there was cheering from the audience in the lecture hall, as President Rodin was already a huge hit.

Rodin: I gave up a lot of my spare time because I thought it'd be good for kids throughout America to see a black man as president. Even in a silly home movie. What a stupid waste of time.

Zelda: Doc Louis was originally the president in Mario's movie, but he kept eating too much chocolate in-between filming. Led to a lot of tension between him and Mario, and so that's why he ended up being the narrator. Rodin kind of fell into Mario's lap...

"It's your old enemy, Goldenface," Rodin spoke with Mario, as the mere mention of the villain's name made Mario frown. "As you're aware, Goldenface already tried to blow up the NFL All-Star Game, the baseball All-Star Game, and the NBA All-Star Game. You stopped him every time. And then you took one day off, to run a 20K with your friend Brad Pitt."

"One day off..." said Mario, visibly showing regret over his actions while shaking his head. Emanuel, for whatever reason, was shaking his head as well.

"That was the day of the WNBA All-Star Game...we all know what happened then."

"My wife-a was in that game..." Mario's wife was in the WNBA All-Star Game? She was a basketball player in the WNBA? The more you know.

"Now he's after the NHL All-Star Game. He's hidden a bomb somewhere in the stadium! Scarn, this one is personal for me. I own the stadium. I can't see it blown up. It's my retirement plan!"

"We have to search the stadium," suggested Emanuel, wanting to do whatever was necessary to get rid of the bomb. The person playing Emanuel, being Pit, would never come up with such a plan in real life.

"Not so fast, Goldenface has taken all the concession stand workers hostage. We go in...he kills all the hostages."

"Why not just cancel the game?" inquired Emanuel, like cancelling an All-Star game for any professional sport was an easy decision to make.

"We can't just cancel the game...it costs too much money."

"Money...it's all about-a money, isn't it?" Mario asked this rhetorical question, wondering where Rodin's priorities lied. "If I ever owned a business, I would never even care-a about money!"

"Scarn, will you find these hostages, and save the game?"

"No, I don't think it's important enough." Just as he was about to leave the Oval Office, Mario went back to speak with Rodin. "Just-a out of curiosity, what threat-a level is this?"

"I can't sugarcoat this. We are at Threat Level...Twilight." That was very high on the threat level scale, enough to sway Mario's mind.

"Heads I do it, tails-a I don't." Mario took out a quarter, dictating his willingness to complete the mission on a coin flip. "Best-a out of seven." Mario flipped the coin... "Heads." ...and then he flipped it again. "Tails." Rodin was seen wincing every time that Mario said tails. "Heads…Tails…Heads…Tails." Mario flipped the quarter one last time, and the quarter landed on the table and spun around...

...before landing flat on the table surface. Mario looked at the coin, which landed on heads, as his mind was now made up.

"Well, it looks like there's going to be a clean-a up on aisle five," the secret agent said, as he was now ready to embark on his mission. The NHL All-Star Game could now be saved.

"Well, the hostages were scared..." narrated Doc Louis, as the next scene showed a few select residents playing as concession workers being held hostage. These hostages were at a hockey stadium, with their backs against the wall and their hands tied up as they cried out for help.

"Don't you guys get it?" one of the hostages, Wario, said to the other hostages crying out for help. "Nobody's coming for us." Way to offer an optimistic outlook, in times of trouble...

"Oh someone's coming alright...the only man who would care," said a voice, as everyone looked towards a chair in the dark alley. Someone was sitting in that chair, and that person turned around to reveal themself as Goldenface...who was actually Link, with metallic gold paint on his face. Goldenface was wearing an all-black bodysuit, and was carrying a golden gun.

"Why are you doing this, Goldenface?" another one of the hostages, Zelda, asked the villain. Must be weird seeing her boyfriend play the role of a villain.

"Why? Because I have unfinished business with Scarn! And you're my trap. See, I'm gonna lure him here, then I kill everybody, then...I'm gonna dig up Scarn's dead wife, and I'm gonna hump her real good."

Goldenface broke out into a malicious laughing fit, laughing just like how most other evil villains would laugh after revealing their evil plans. Zelda, who was one of the hostages, was doing her best not to laugh and break character.

Link: I did not love the dialogue. Or the character. I took the role to impress Zelda, and to prove to her that I had talents other than sword fighting, swimming, horseback riding, and thumb wrestling. You can ignore the last one.

"And right now, I'm gonna do some drugs, so don't try anything..." Goldenface told the hostages after his evil laugh, as he got out of his chair and left the premises.

"We need to choose a leader," Donkey Kong, one of the hostages, said to the others. He could just name himself the leader, not that hard to do. "Someone who is tough enough to take on Goldenface!"

"I can be the leader," volunteered Zelda, taking initiative and asserting herself as the leader of the pack. Her leadership could save the others' lives.

"What makes you so tough?" Wario questioned Zelda, not thinking that she had what it took to stand up to Goldenface.

"I have experience as a leader, a negotiator, a general, and a cop. In other words, I'm a mom." Zelda is a mother?! Who would've seen that coming?

"It doesn't matter who the leader is," said Wario, making a statement as he struggled to stand up with his own weight working against him. "It's every man for themselves down here. And there's only one way out, and it is through...that door."

Wario turned his attention towards the metal fence gate, and the fatso ran into the gate in an attempt to break it. The attempt didn't work, as Goldenface returned through the gate.

"Those drugs really hit the spot!" grinned Goldenface, as Wario backed away and sat back down on the ground. "So...you guys chose a leader yet?"

"Gulp..." said Zelda, who was about to reveal herself as the leader before deciding against it. Wouldn't be such a wise move.

The next scene in the movie showed Mario, driving through the rain in his car. He was on the move, dedicating himself to saving the NHL All-Star game from any harm.

"Well, the All-Star Game was three days away, so naturally it was all sold out," narrated Doc Louis; he better be paid handsomely by Mario, for his great narrating skills. "The only way Scarn was getting in was in a uniform. Just one problem with that, Scarn didn't know a hockey stick from a Slim Jim. So he went to meet with the famed trainer...Cherokee Jack."

Mario met up the man known as Cherokee Jack, at an ice rink. Cherokee Jack was in fact a tunic-wearing Professor Layton, who was carrying a mop in his hand.

"Mop the ice," Cherokee Jack instructed Mario as he handed the secret agent the mop, like how an elderly sage handed the main character in an anime some special weapon.

"I'm not here to learn-a how to mop," stated Mario, who wanted to toss the mop to the ground but not at the risk of being chewed out by Cherokee Jack. "I'm here to learn how-a to play hockey."

"Mop it." So Mario grabbed the mop and skated on the ice, mopping away. Mario eventually stopped, because he found mopping the ice stupid.

"What is the point-a of this?" Mario turned to face Cherokee Jack, now wanting to break the mop in two.

"Mop the ice." Mario went back to mopping the ice, having no choice but to do exactly what his mentor said.

Soon a montage played, showing Mario mopping the ice awkwardly and using an ab-cruncher and slowly getting better while Billy Joel's "Running On Ice" played. After the montage concluded, Cherokee Jack slammed a hockey stick on the ice to stop Mario, before offering said hockey stick to the plumber.

"What am I supposed-a to do with this?" Mario just looked at the hockey stick, not thinking of himself as worthy enough to hold it.

"Mop..." instructed Cherokee Jack. Then another montage played, showing Mario sliding around the ice skillfully and hitting the puck into the goal. Cherokee Jack was seen smiling from the distance.

"Well, Mario Scarn was quickly becoming one of the hottest hockey players in the country," narrated Doc Louis; with everything that he had learned from the legendary Cherokee Jack, Mario could very well be the next Wayne Gretzky.

Mario had gained valuable hockey skills and knowledge, thanks to the great teaching of Cherokee Jack. But, if the secret agent wished to be at the NHL All-Star Game, he had to find some way to get in. Fortunately there was a way.

Mario went to a hockey arena - which was Seattle's own KeyArena - for a competition taking place on the ice rink. Cloud was acting as an official for the competition, as there was a line formed in front of the ice. Standing behind this line were Mario, Sonic, and a mysterious man in a hockey mask. Why this man wore a hockey mask, nobody knew; perhaps he was just very shy.

"Each year, the National Hockey League selects one civilian amateur to play in the All Star Game," Cloud explained to the three participants, looking like he absolutely had zero interest in playing his role in the film. "It's down to the three of you. The final test is speed skating."

Cloud took out a gun, and held it up to the ceiling. The three participants all got in the starting position, with their eyes on the gold.

"On your marks, get set..." said Cloud, as his fingers were on the trigger, ready to fire. Suddenly the mysterious masked man took off his mask, revealing himself to be...Goldenface?!

"Die!" Goldenface shouted at Mario, shortly after removing his mask. Goldenface sure knew how to make an appearance.

And so it was on - Mario, Sonic, and Goldenface skated around the rink, with Mario and Goldenface feuding with one another. Goldenface shot at Mario with a solid gold gun, while Mario fired back with two pistols. By the time the race was over, Mario was already out of breath.

"Nice try Goldenface, but you forgot one-a thing, to kill me," a tired and exhausted Mario said to the evil villain, as he rested against the glass to get his breather in. Goldenface could only laugh in response, with an evil laugh fitting for a villain of his caliber.

"I wasn't trying to kill you, I was trying to slow you down," said Goldenface, before bringing Mario's attention to Cloud placing a medal around Sonic's neck. Cloud sure looked uninterested putting that medal on...

"No!" Mario was disgruntled, falling down to the ice as he slammed his fists. His one chance to get into the NHL All Star Game was dashed, all thanks to Goldenface.

"Oh by the way...how's your wife doing?" Goldenface had this to say to Mario, laughing evilly as he skated away. Mario immediately started crying, as the memory of his late wife moved him to tears.

In the locker room of the arena, Sonic was smiling as he marveled at the medal around his neck. Mario, who was done with his crying fit, entered the locker room, although he was still pretty down in the dumps.

"Congratulations," the secret agent offered his congratulations to Sonic, as he patted him on the back. Even with the sting of failure poisoning him, Mario was still a good sport.

"Hey, you came in second," Sonic said to Mario, also being a good sport. Not a single bad bone in his body. "Not bad either."

"I am sorry that I have-a to do this…" Mario took the towel that was draped over his shoulder, and used it to choke out Sonic. Which, outside of the movie, would make some sense in context.

"Huh..." Sonic's screams were muffled, as he was slowly choked to death by Mario. Eventually, Sonic died, as his corpse rested on the locker room floor.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry..." After making his apology, Mario started to cry, showing signs of regret over his actions. The secret agent had completely lost it.

"Well Mario made the team, alright..." narrated Doc Louis, as Mario was seen back at his manor, chilling in front of a fireplace and drinking some tea. "...but the celebration didn't last long, as he still had to find those dang hostages."

"I'm intercepting a name," Emanuel informed Mario, as he was using a computer and doing some research. "Yasmin Winsong. She works for Goldenface. What I can't figure out is, who is the Funky Cat?"

"Not who, what," replied Mario, who knew what the Funky Cat was all about. "The Funky Cat is the hippest Jazz Club in town. I'm surprised you haven't heard of that." Mario stood up with his cup of tea and handed his cup to Emanuel, only for the tea to spill all over the butler.

"Oh...OH NO!" Emanuel started to freak out, but then the scene was abruptly cut short. Something that made Pit extremely ticked off.

Pit: He cut the part where my circuit board malfunctioned! What was the point of spilling the drink on me?

At the Funky Cat, there was a jazz singer lying atop a piano, wearing a black dress while the pianist played his heart out. The jazz singer, Yasmin Winsong, was portrayed by Bayonetta, who was playing her part to utter perfection.

"They call me Yasmin Winsong..." Yasmin sang, singing into the microphone as her voice radiated throughout the nightclub. Mario entered the Funky Cat, as his eyes were soon fixated on the singing Yasmin.

"Bingo..." the secret agent said, as he walked over to the piano. No, Mario wasn't gonna go down like Eddie Valiant; he wouldn't let a seductive singer like Yasmin tap him out.

Bayonetta: It's about time that Mario finished his movie. Good for him. Glad that he could actually complete that little project of his. If that movie turns Mario delusional, I will burn it to the ground...I'm just looking out for the others, darling.

"Beat it, turd..." Mario said to the person playing the piano, K.K. Slider, as he took out a dollar bill and placed it in the jar of money sitting atop the piano.

"Thanks, mister," K.K. Slider thanked Mario as he got up, allowing the secret agent to sit at the piano. Poor K.K. must've been playing the piano all night.

"Well well well...you must-a be Yasmin Winsong," Mario said to the nightclub singer, who looked over at the secret agent with a slick smile.

"Sorry...I don't sign autographs," stated Yasmin, but little did she know that Mario didn't come to the Funky Cat just for an autograph.

"I don't need-a your autograph; I already have Nora Dunn's autograph, Jim Zorn's autograph and-a Marshawn Lynch's autograph." Would be a travesty if Lynch never gave Mario any Skittles, during the autograph exchange. "I'm looking for some-a people."

"I don't know anything about any...hostages." Yasmin leaned in close to Mario, lying on the piano in a rather seductive manner with her chin resting on the palm of her hand.

"Whoever said-a they were hostages?"

"Stranger, I don't know what you're talking about...

"Mario knew that the only way to get Yasmin to tell him where the hostages were was to make him fall in love with him," narrated Doc Louis, while Mario was casually playing on the piano. Just playing a few random keys, here and there. "And the only way to do that...was to be himself."

"Well maybe, I should-a tell you a little bit about me," Mario said to Yasmin, ready to tell the nightclub singer all his deepest and darkest secrets...or perhaps stuff worth telling. "I love Billy Joel songs, and I love-a fish sandwiches. And I love babies, and I love-a puppies, and I actually like-a to think of puppies...as baby dogs. Maybe that's a little weird. I'm part Bruce Wayne, part-a Bruce Willis, and part Bruce Vilanch."

"Just stick around, for my song..." Yasmin whispered to Mario, having been enthralled by the secret agent after hearing his personal deep dive. "I think you'll find it very...informative."

Yasmin sat up on the piano, prepared to sing. Mario kept an attentive ear, as Yasmin grabbed her microphone.

"Hello everyone, I'm afraid this might be my last performance," Yasmin addressed the crowd, which was pretty sparse to begin with. "This one goes out to anyone who has been held hostage."

Yasmin was singing gibberish, while laying on the piano. Mario took out a recording device from his pocket, clicking it on as a mysterious man with a golden tie (who looked an awful lot like Guile) stood at the nightclub entrance.

"The hostages are under the stadium," Yasmin was heard saying this, after Mario pushed the backwards button on his recorder. Once the playback was over, the man with the golden tie shot Yasmin with a tranquilizer dart, causing her to fall off the piano and eventually off the stage.

"Jack Blaise..." uttered Mario, looking up at the direction where the dart came from. Making his move, Mario hustled away from the stage.

Goldenface was back to sitting in his chair, staring at his hostages with his golden gun. He had an evil smirk on his face that he just couldn't hide.

"You have to let us go Goldenface, we have families!" Zelda stressed to the evil villain, who was too sadistic to show any care or sympathy. As most villains are.

"Ha! I don't care about families, I care about business," Goldenface said as he cocked his gun, before pointing his weapon at one of the hostages, Cilan. "And this is gonna show them that I mean business." Cilan was frightened, shivering from head to toe. "See ya!"

Goldenface shot at Cilan, and then there was a shot of Cilan's fake head, which exploded into a million pieces..or somewhere around that number. The shot was shown repeatedly, for dramatic effect.

Mario: By far and away, the most-a expensive shot in the movie. But, it was some-a what integral to the story.

"Ha!" shouted Emanuel as he kicked open the gate in the stadium where the hostages and Goldenface were. Goldenface hissed as he saw Emanuel, with Mario heroically joining him with his two pistols.

"Mario Scarn!" squealed Wario, overjoyed that the secret agent was coming to rescue him and the others. Okay, he was only overjoyed that Mario was coming to rescue him.

"Sorry about your friend, Scarn!" Goldenface said to the secret agent, pointing at Cilan's dead body; the fact that Mario and Emanuel showed up after Cilan's death showed how much they care.

"The joke's-a on you Goldenface, that man was a wanted-a Pokemon rapist," responded Mario, showing that saving Cilan's life was not entirely worth it. Raping Pokemon was grosteque in every sense of the word. Goldenface made a disgusted look.

"We've searched the whole building, Goldenface, where is the bomb?" Emanuel asked the villain, refusing to back down until he received an answer.

"Hm?" asked Goldenface, seemingly unable to comprehend the question that Emanuel was trying to convey.

"We've searched the whole building, Goldenface, where is the bomb?" Emanuel once again asked the villain, still refusing to back down until he received an answer.

"Hm?" asked Goldenface, again seemingly unable to comprehend the question that Emanuel was trying to convey.

"We've searched the wh...okay." Emanuel gave up, learning that Goldenface wasn't going to play nice. Goldenface wouldn't give away the location of the bomb that easily.

"He said, where-a is the bomb?" Mario asked Goldenface - maybe if Mario was the one asking the questions, Goldenface would cough up an answer.

"So you searched the whole stadium, hm?" asked Goldenface, before taking out a hockey puck. "But you didn't think to look...in the puck!" Goldenface tossed a puck at Mario, who caught it with just one hand.

"The bomb is in the puck?" Ah, evil villains...they know just the right place to stuff their explosives in. "Why are you telling me this?"

"Because I'm going to kill you." Goldenface took out his golden gun. "Unless! You make a deal. I'll release the hostages and diffuse that bomb, and all you have to do is to forgive me for murdering your wife."

Mario was left distraught, as memories of him and Peach are shown on the puck in a dreamy haze. A lot of unflattering memories, here and there. But Mario managed to shake it off, as he regained his mojo.

"Hey Goldenface...go puck-a yourself!" Mario shouted at the villain, tossing the puck straight at his head. Goldenface would dodge the puck, and fired a bullet at Mario.

"Noooo!" screamed Emanuel as he jumped in front of Mario, receiving the bullet. Emanuel was shot in the stomach, and landed on the ground writhing in pain.

Mario: That was not scripted.

Goldenface re-cocked his gun and shot at Mario, who looked shocked and scared as he got shot at. The screen quickly went to black, and for a moment, it seemed like the great Mario Scarn was done for...

...or so everyone had thought. In the very next scene, Mario was in the hospital room, resting as he had multiple wounds over his chest and stomach. People who get shot at in those places usually don't live, but Mr. Scarn found a way to keep on keeping on.

"More Tylenol," Mario said to the nurse, who was played by the clearly annoyed Samus. Mario just could've easily gone with Leia, who was obviously a nurse, but perhaps he desired to go in a different direction.

"You've already had four," said Samus as she looked at the heart rate monitor, paying close attention to the screen. "You're lucky to be alive. That bullet went through every major organ in your body...your brain, your lungs, your heart, your back, and your balls."

"It'll take a lot more than a bullet to the brain, lungs, heart, back, and-a balls to kill Mario Scarn." If Mario Scarn could take a bullet to the body parts that he mentioned, and still live, then he was the most invincible man on planet earth.

After being discharged from the hospital - while showing no bullet wounds - Mario and Emanuel were in President Rodin's office, eagerly awaiting the president's orders. Goldenface was still at large, and Mario needed to take him down at whatever cost.

"You just said the bomb…is in the puck?" asked Rodin, after Mario told the president of how Goldenface hid a bomb inside a puck to blow up the hockey stadium. The NHL All-Star would be ruined forever if the bomb went off...Gary Bettman would be most displeased.

"Yes," Mario and Emanuel said together, both confirming with the nod of their heads. Rodin had time to think over the information he had received, before making a rather sinister yet suspicious smile.

"Is that where you hid the bomb, Goldenface?" Rodin looked over, and appearing out from one of the curtains in the Oval Office was...gasp...

...was Goldenface! The evil villain wasn't alone, for he had brought with him an accomplice in Guile, who was dressed in all black and wearing a golden tie. Mario and Emanuel were both stunned as they saw Goldenface and Guile join Rodin at the Resolute desk, while Rodin himself had an evil smirk on his face.

"But why would you blow up the stadium?" Emanuel questioned Rodin, demanding answers from the president at once. Blowing up sports venues was nigh unacceptable, especially for a president of the United States. "You OWN the stadium!"

"For the insurance money!" exclaimed Mario, coming to this conclusion after thinking over Rodin's true intentions. His worst fears were slowly realized. "I knew it all-a along! You will never get away with this!"

"Who do you think the people will believe, the President of the United States...or this man?" asked Rodin, before taking out a television remote and turning on a television behind him. On the television screen was Mario, strangling Sonic, and Mario and Emanuel could only watch.

"It...it wasn't like-a that at all!" Mario defended himself, but Rodin didn't believe the secret agent; the evidence had already played out on the television screen.

Quickly getting on the offensive, Rodin, Goldenface, and Guile took out machine guns, pointing their weapons at Mario and Emanuel. Mario grabbed a painting of Abraham Lincoln off the wall, and awkwardly smashed it on Rodin's head before running out of the office as Goldenface and Guile shot at him.

Mario managed to make it out of the Oval Office and out of the White House alive (same possibly couldn't be said for Emanuel), but the secret agent had a lot of things weighing on his mind. This whole time he was duped, as all the things he had done up to this point was all for naught.

"Where had I gone-a wrong?" Mario wondered in his voiceover, as he was seen walking through the streets with his hands in his pockets. "All I wanted was to start a family with-a my beautiful wife. But somewhere along the way, things-a got messed up."

"It wasn't easy for Scarn to admit that he had lost his self-confidence," narrated Doc Louis, as Mario glumly entered a bar. "And he hadn't of course, He just wasn't using it right now." Mario sat on one of the barstools at the front of the bar, being greeted by bartenders Fox and Falco.

"Beer-a me Billy," Mario said to Fox, better known as Billy the Bartender. Falco was known as Willy the Bartender; such a creative name by Mario, apart from Billy.

"You don't looks so good, what's got ya down?" Billy asked Mario, speaking in a Brooklyn accent as he slid a glass of beer down to the secret agent.

"I got problems Billy. Big-a problems…" Mario was so down, he just kept staring at the bar stand, not having the strength or willpower to look up.

"You got problems?!" Willy blurted out, also peaking in a Brooklyn accent. Except that his accent was much better, and more natural. "Our TV don't work! I pay thirty bucks a month for the dang satellite what's-a-whosit, we can't even get the dang game! Now you tell me, what's worse than that?"

"Don't ever change-a Willy." Willy going off about the many problems he had was enough to cheer up Mario,, as the secret agent smiled and laughed. "Goldenface is going to blow-a up the NHL All Star Game tomorrow."

"You told the President?" asked Billy, not sure how he should feel about the NHL All Star Game being blown up. He and Willy were really looking forward to seeing that game.

"The President is in-a on it..." This was a tough pill for Billy and Willy to swallow, as they both looked away in disbelief. How could the president stoop so low?

"Wow...I see what you mean about problems," said Willy; he knew how big the burden of having an All-Star game being ruined could have on a secret agent like Mario. "I know what'll cheer you up. That table of bachelorettes over there bought you this drink." Willy pointed at the far corner of the bar, and Mario saw four bachelorettes sitting at a table - Wii Fit Trainer, Palutena, Rosalina, and even Nowi. All four of them smiled and waved at Mario.

"Hey..." the four bachlorettes all greeted Mario, who appreciated their kind gesture of buying him a drink. It was the thought that counts.

"Who ordered the man burger well done?" asked Wii Fit Trainer, uttering one of the cheesiest things she had ever said.

"Hey hot stuff...one last fling?" asked Rosalina, as she was smiling seductively at Mario.

"Come and ride the choo-choo train..." Palutena enticed Mario, showing some obvious discomfort as she delivered her line.

"Ever partied it up with an entire bachelorette party, baby?" Nowi asked Mario, before giving the secret agent a wink. Were the bachelorette's efforts enough to alleviate Mario's worries? Not quite - Willy's rant was more effective.

Nowi: I'm so happy that Mario let me be a part of his movie, I know he worked his butt off to make it feel special. My only complaint is, why did I only have one line?

"I'm too depressed to save-a the big game, boys," Mario said to Billy and Willy, feeling that nothing could make his depression go away. "I'm in my low-a point."

"When you are sad, you don't do your job no good," Billy said to Mario, trying to get the secret agent pumped up. "And this country needs you to do your job good! We're gonna cheer you up, the only ways we know hows." Billy looked towards Villager, who was standing about the Jukebox wearing overalls. "Hey kid! Hit G-9 on the Jukebox!"

"No Billy, I haven't done that dance-a since my wife died." Doing as he was told, Villager selected a song from the Jukebox, and pressed the play button as some bumping funk music started playing.

"This isn't just about you anymore...there is a whole crowd of people out there, who need to learn how to do The Scarn," Willy encouraged Mario, who looked around and saw the people in the bar bobbing their heads or tapping their feet to the music from the Jukebox. Feeling motivated again, Mario arose from his seat, before getting in the center of the bar and started dancing...albeit rather poorly.

"Well my name's Mario Scarn and I'm here to say, I'm about to do The Scarn in a major way..." Mario sang, having rediscovered the desire to perform his world-famous dance, known as the Scarn. The four bachelorettes, Villager, Billy, Willy, and several others in the bar stood up to join the secret agent, who then kept on singing:

You jump to the right and you shake a hand
And you jump to the left and you shake that hand.
You meet new friends, and tie that yarn,
And that's how you do The Scarn!

Having learned the lyrics, and seeing Mario perform the actions of the song himself, all of those participating in the dance were ready to follow along...and sing along:

You jump to the right and you shake a hand
And you jump to the left and you shake that hand.
You meet new friends, and tie that yarn,
And that's how you do The Scarn!
You jump to the right and you shake a hand
And you jump to the left and you shake that hand.
You meet new friends, and tie that yarn,
And that's how you do The Scarn!

"If doing The Scarn is gay..." one of the guys at the bar, King K. Rool, said as he drunkenly stood up ready to make a profound proclamation of sorts. "...then I'm the biggest queer on Earth!"

"You guys...I think I got my self-a confidence back!" proclaimed Mario, as everyone in the bar was cheering for the secret agent. Thanks to some dancing, Mario was finally able to regain his mojo, as he high-fived everyone in the bar.

Spring Man was giggling throughout Threat Level: Twilight, being amused by the absurdity of it all. But it was King K. Rool's line that had the ARMS fighter over the edge, as he was cracking up. Several others in the lecture hall were doing their best to conceal their laughter, while Mario looked serious.

"Spring Man, be quiet..." Min Min whispered quietly to the ARMS fighter, being mindful of Mario who was seated a few rows up ahead. Didn't want Mario to get his feelings hurt.

"Sorry..." apologized Spring Man...but it was too late, the damage was already dealt. Taking out a remote, Mario turned off the movie, much to the chagrin of those in the lecture hall as everyone was complaining.

"Aw come on, it was getting good!" griped Waluigi, who was one of the loudest voices in the lecture hall voicing his complaints. Spring Man felt like he was the one to blame.

"I'm sorry, I'm really, really sorry." Spring Man stood up to address the crowd, as everyone was booing and jeering at him. Spring Man should be thankful that nobody had any tomatoes to throw at him. "I think I was just relieved to see that Mario Scarn got his confidence back."

"Yeah Mario, the movie is amazing!" exclaimed Kamui; given the quality of the movie, and how it was produced, Kamui didn't think that Threat Level: Twilight was that bad.

"It's one of the best movies I've ever seen in my life," Yoshi offered his consensus; this was the same dinosaur that considered the Sharknado movie franchise a "masterpiece", so obviously his opinions on movies shouldn't be trusted.

"You should enter it in festivals!" Cuphead encouraged Mario, as a couple of other residents found themselves in agreement.

"Or carnivals!" Who in their right mind would enter a film at a carnival? Clearly Yoshi had no idea what he was talking about.

"Well that's a...pretty good-a reaction," Mario said to Peach, hearing the positive reception and feedback behind him. Peach nodded her head. "Pretty cool, right?" Mario then turned over to Twintelle, who was looking at herself in her personal mirror. "Did you like it? Did you like-a that?"

"Uh...which part?" asked Twintelle, putting away her mirror as she gave Mario her full, uninvited attention. Mario interpreted the actress' response as a sign of apathy, which did nothing but dismay the plumber greatly.

"Okay..." Feeling devastated, Mario stood up and marched out of the lecture hall. Everyone was calling for Mario to come back, dying to see how the movie ended. "No, it's not good-a enough. It's not good enough..."

"Some people are really popping on screen!" Richter said to Mario, who had just walked out of the lecture hall. No amount of praise could bring Mario back anytime soon. "Come on Mario, don't be like that!"

Peach and Twintelle both left the lecture hall, to go look for Mario. They found out that the plumber wasn't really that far, as he was in the hallway sulking by himself.

"Hey," Mario said to Peach and Twintelle as they came over, wondering why they would want to bother him during his time of dismay.

"Hey! Good movie," Peach said to Mario, now able to give her full consensus without just giving her husband a nod. Her response quickly brought up Mario's spirits, as he looked somewhat lively again.

"Mmmm, good? Everybody out there says it's-a great!"

"I loved it," said Twintelle, and her response meant all the world to Mario as the plumber got all happy and excited about his movie again.

"Did-a you? What did you love-a about it?" Mario wanted to pick about Twintelle's brain, given that her acumen as an actress could prove beneficial in the long run.

"Um, I loved that you got to work together with all your friends. Isn't that great when you can all work together like that?"

"No, no. Twintelle this isn't Ocean's Eleven, where you get together with-a all your friends and just have fun and don't care-a about how it turns out. What'd you really think, honestly."

"Um..." Twintelle now had to give a more detailed and nuanced review of the movie, which had her momentarily stuck as she rested her finger underneath her chin in thought.

"Is it, is it because you're afraid-a of where this is gonna take me? See, because I need you...and Peach...to keep-a me grounded.

"I'm not too worried about that," said Peach, shocking Mario as the plumber was suddenly taken back. "It's a nice movie and all, but other than that..."

"It was three years, okay?" Mario got all angry with Peach; if Peach wasn't his wife, Mario would really be giving her the business. "This has been my dream-a for three years, to make-a my own film, and if you don't think it's great then-a you're basically saying that you don't believe-a in my dream."

"What? It's your dream and you barely even talked about it with me!" Mario was so dedicated to his passion project, that he left his wife in the dust...what a shame.

"I talk about a lot of things, Peach! I was eventually gonna get around-a to my dream! Obviously! Three years I could've been working on the Scarn-a Nebulous."

"Well why do you have to make a movie at all?" Twintelle asked Mario out of curiosity, interested in knowing what the plumber's inspiration was for making a movie. The actress never expected Mario to have a small passion for film-making.

"Because, if I don't have-a this, what do I have? This is my one-a chance to show everyone how imaginative I can be."

"Really, you can't think of anything else that you might have?" Twintelle furrowed her brow as she folded her arms, while Mario tried to think of something.

"I have my book-a on plumbing, That Sinking Feeling. I have my HBO comedy special, Here I Go Again, dot-dot-dot. But you know what? When I think-a about it, when I really think about it, none of those things are as real-a to me as my movie.

"I'm real," Peach said to Mario, reminding her husband of her existence, and her willingness to always be at his side no matter what. A wife that was always there for you, through the ups and the downs, was always a great wife to have.

"Yeah, you're a real pain-a in the butt..and I'm gonna go watch-a the movie with people who think it's great! And I'm sorry I called-a you a pain in the butt, I'm still kinda angry, and I love-a you."

"I love you too." Peach leaned over to Mario, kissing her husband on the cheek. Mario was fully happy again, and ready to see his movie again.

Mario: I am a huge-a Woody Allen fan. Although I've only seen Antz, but I'll tell-a you something. What I respect-a about that man, is that when he was going through all that stuff-a that came out in the press, about how Antz was just a rip-a off of A Bug's Life, he stayed true-a to his films. Or at least the film that I saw which again-a was Antz. The thing is...I thought Bug's-a Life was better, much better. Than Antz. The point is, don't listen to your critics, listen-a to your fans.

Mario would listen to his fans - those fans being the residents in the lecture hall who were enjoying Threat Level: Twilight so far. The plumber would make his grand return to the lecture hall with Peach and Twintelle, feeling confident again.

"Who likes-a Threat Level: Twilight?" Mario asked the large crowd, being met with cheers and applause. Just as he expected. "Okay then, who wants to watch-a the rest?!" Everyone in the lecture hall yelled their approval, as Mario made his way down to the front row where he originally sat. Grabbing the remote, Mario pressed the play button, as Threat Level: Twilight resumed.

Threat Level: Twilight was in its climax, as the hero of the film, Mario Scarn, was feeling energized again. Energized enough to take out the film's main antagonist, Goldenface. Mario and Emanuel were at the hockey stadium, trying to stop Goldenface and President Rodin's evil plan before the stadium exploded.

"Mario! You have to get to that puck before halftime, or the whole stadium will explode! Emanuel stressed to Mario, who was heading out to the ice through the hallway of the hockey arena. Mario was dressed up in hockey gear, bringing a hockey stick with him.

"I know, it's a good thing my trainer and mentor is here-a to cheer me on!" replied Mario, as he and Emanuel made it down to the ice, where there was already a hockey game taking place. Emanuel just gave Mario a confused stare.

"Cherokee Jack? Mario, he died." Hearing that was devastating to Mario, who was emotionally wrecked as he started to shed a tear. And then, more tears came running down Mario's cheeks.

"This one's-a for you Cherokee Jack..." Shedding a few more solemn tears as he looked up at the heavens, Mario skated his way into the rink of the already in-play hockey game. He was going to make his late mentor Cherokee Jack so proud.

Mario: We filmed-a that scene during an actual high school hockey game, trying to qualify for states.

"That's fine, it's great!" Champion Link said to Mario, who was heard talking over his own movie while the crowd was quieting him to hear the movie better.

"No, no! Actually it's really screwed-a up because they..." said Mario, chuckling to himself as there was a grueling hockey match taking place on the big screen. "...they were trying to qualify, they were disqualified, they had to forfeit-a the game. Undefeated season. That's why there were-a so many people there." Mario stood up, slowly beginning to realize that his precious movie was not as great as he originally thought...

...back to the movie at hand. Goldenface was with his hostages, twinkling with his golden gun and enjoying all the splendors of being a villain.

"Now's your chance..." Donkey Kong, one of the hostages, said quietly to Zelda "...go talk to Goldenface, see what you can do." If Cranky Kong ever saw Threat Level: Twilight, he would reprimand Donkey Kong for not using his opportunity to break the fourth wall.

"Okay..." said Zelda as she stood up, before walking over to Goldenface. Goldenface, sensing Zelda's company, put away his trusty golden gun. "...hey Goldenface, can I ask you a question? I mean, since we're all gonna die here anyway...why is your face gold?"

"Why do you care?" questioned Goldenface; judging by the tone of his voice, the villain didn't want to relive any unnecessary past trauma. Couldn't blame him.

"I'm just making conversation." Seeing that Zelda wouldn't leave, Goldenface was left with no other choice but to provide his backstory.

"I worked in a gold factory, we had a boss, who only cared about money…he wouldn't give us lunch breaks so we had to...eat the gold. Then one day, I looked at the mirror, and...I guess you are what you eat."

"Goldenface, that is so sad..." Goldenface had truly one of the most tragic backstories that a villain could have, one that could even rival Zuko's from Avatar: The Last Airbender.

"Well I just thought that if I could blow up all the All-Star games, all the trophies would explode all over the place and then everyone would be gold...just like me."

"Please let us go, Goldenface!" one of the hostages, Captain Falcon, shouted at the villain, who had swayed Zelda with his backstory. Zelda was showing some sympathy for Goldenface after hearing all the awful things he had to endure, as she gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"So sad..." the princess had this to say, before heading back to her spot.

"Yes?" asked Mario, as he glanced at Twintelle who tapped him on his shoulder. Seemed like Twintelle had something she wished to say to Mario.

"Hey, I'm sorry, it is good," apologized Twintelle, now having a much more different opinion on Threat Level: Twilight than before. Mario took the time to think over what Twintelle had said, before giggling to himself.

"No it's not...it's not. But, they really seem-a to be enjoying it. And I can't take-a that away from them, no matter how hard-a I try."

Mario was still playing in the hockey game, doing his best to get the puck before it blew up the entire hockey stadium. His efforts were stunted at the moment, as a few referees grabbed Mario and took him off the ice (probably because he was interrupting an in-play hockey match that had absolutely nothing to do with the movie). The secret agent looked at the scoreboard and saw "1:29" left on the clock, realizing that he had very little time to save the day.

"One minute left-a in the period, and still no puck..." grunted Mario, coming to grips that all hope now was lost...until he saw his old mentor, Cherokee Jack, from a confusion of heavenly light and smoke. "...Cherokee Jack."

"I want you to take all of your frustrations, with women, the system, with everything," Cherokee Jack gave his pep talk to Mario, giving him much-needed encouragement during this time of peril. "Take it out on the puck. All on the puck."

"Take it out...on the puck..." Taking Cherokee Jack's encouraging words to heart, Mario skated towards the puck, which was conveniently lying on the ice by itself with no one else around to hit it. Thanks to the help of some dramatic slow-motion, and some dramatic music, Mario hit the puck with his hockey stick, staring in wonder and amazement as it flew far, far away and out of the stadium.

"Yah!" shouted Emanuel, as he kicked open the gate to save the hostages. The hostages rejoiced as Samuel untied them, while the puck was seen flying into space and hitting a satellite.

The puck hitting the satellite turned the television at the bar back on, as the NHL All Star Game appeared on the television screen. Billy and Willy were most pleased.

"Hey! We got sports games again!" Billy informed the people at the bar, who were all cheering as they finally got to watch some hockey. "Free drinks on the house!"

Goldenface was sitting at his house, counting the wads of money in his hands. He was laughing evilly to himself as he counted his dough, only for the puck to land on his lap.

"Oh..." exclaimed Goldenface, only for a large explosion to block out his words. Gotta make the movie PG, for the little kids. Everyone in the lecture hall cheered, as Mario was seen hoisting his golden hockey trophy in the very next shot.

The next scene of Threat Level: Twilight showed Mario back at his manor, chilling as he had his hockey trophy on display. The secret agent was cooking some breakfast in his kitchen, making some bacon and eggs.

"Well, Emanuel, that was some-a adventure," Mario said to his butler, while he was cooking his bacon over the stove. "Maybe some-a one should make a movie about it."

"They should, and yes it was!" Emanuel agreed with Mario, looking up from his newspaper - a newspaper that he probably couldn't read. It was likely that he was just staring at the pictures.

"Some breakfast for me..." Mario showed Emanuel his plate of bacon and eggs, placing it on the breakfast table. "...and some-a breakfast for you." The secret agent then pulled out an oil can and oiled Emanuel's circuit board on his back.

Mario: Oh yeah, I guess-a I did let him be a robot...

"I'll get it!" said Mario as he heard the phone ring. "Man I love-a being retired!" Mario put away the oil can, before picking up the phone. "Scarn here!"

"Mario, it's the president," said the man on the phone, President Rodin. Should Mario ever trust Rodin again, after learning how evil he was? "I need you for another mission."

"Ugh..." After a little thought, Mario came to a decision. "...yeah, I'm in." Mario then hung up the phone, bracing himself for yet another mission. "I'm getting too old-a for this BEEEEEEP!"

"Wait a minute, isn't the president evil?" questioned Marth, as everyone in the lecture hall was either cheering or applauding. That ending didn't sit well with the hero-king.

"Oh yeah! Yes he is!" laughed Mario, who had already come to terms with how silly, crazy, and absurd his movie was.

"No, he's doing it to catch the president!" said Pit, certain that Mario Scarn was coming after the president in a potential Threat Level: Twilight sequel. A sequel that would be one for the ages.

"No Pit. He's just-a being stupid." The residents would laugh along with Mario, while Pit was still a firm believer in his own theory. He knew for a fact that he was right.

"Well, Mario Scarn was back in the game," narrated Doc Louis, as the last scene of Threat Level: Twilight showed a chair with a gray-haired head sticking above it. "And I bet you're wondering why do I know so much about Mario Scarn." The chair revolved to reveal that the narrator was not Doc Louis, but in fact a gray-haired Mario Scarn, talking with Doc Louis' voice. "Well because I AM Mario Scarn."

Applause from the crowd was heard, as the title screen was displayed and the credits began to roll. As the credits showed a montage of scenes from the movie, Little Mac was heard rapping over it:

Ahhhh, yeah!
Threat Level Twilight!
Makes all the girlies feel alright!
From Madonna to Madelyn Allbrite,
Threat Level Twilight!
It's a threat, a level, A level level threat.
He's the greatest hockey star I've ever seen yet.
Threat Level what? Twilight!
Threat Level who? Mario Scarn!
Threat Level why? Apartheid!
Gotta fight it, Free Mandela!
Peace, I'm out!