Episode 243: Advertisements
It was now down to five candidates - Link, Cloud Strife, and Dr. Neo Cortex for the man of the mansion job, and Zelda and Mitsuru Kirijo for the woman of the mansion job. With time winding down, the search committee of Tom Nook and Isabelle had only a few weeks left to make their final decision.
While Tom Nook and Isabelle were invested in the search, the buddy cops of Toon Link and Young Link were just as invested. They wanted to ensure that whoever the man/woman of the mansion would be was a respectable person - one that could represent the mansion well. Someone who had no blemishes and no faults...basically someone who was perfect
Gathered at their police officer, Toon Link and Young Link looked at pictures of the five remaining candidates on their board. As expected, the buddy cops picked out interesting names for the candidates - but that wasn't the most important part. Finding out who the best man (and woman) would be was more integral.
"So what do you think about Link and Cloud?" Toon Link asked Young Link, who was putting his thoughts together as he stroked his chin. "Those two are inseparable, like two peas in a pod!"
"A little too inseparable..." said Young Link as he continued to scratch his chin, wondering if Link and Cloud were planning evil stuff together. "...but they're just being best friends, so all the more power to them I guess."
"And what about the two ladies, Zelda and Mitsuru? Which one do you trust more? Both of them are kinda boring, so I won't fault you for..."
"Well, between them both, Mitsuru is hotter. Not gonna lie. Princess Zelda's got the cuteness factor locked down, but that's about it."
"Indeed. Hotness prevails over cuteness any day of the week. Now, our last candidate, the one best saved for last...Dr. Cortex."
Cortex: Today is going to be a great day for my campaign! With the help of Brio, Pit, some money I borrowed, and a bunch of empty promises that I will never fulfill, I managed to convince my minions to join me at the mansion, to help me film some TV advertisements about yours truly! Now you may be thinking, "But Dr. Cortex, why would some lousy person in Seattle care about your candidacy?" Well let me tell you something, mister...you can't have too much of a one-track mind, and keep yourself confined to the mansion. You have to branch out and seek more, which is exactly what I plan on doing! While Link and Cloud swim, I soar! *pauses* At least I think that's how the saying goes...
"When you see Dr. Cortex's face, what is the first thing you think of?" Toon Link asked Young Link, who furrowed his brow as he stared intensely at the very unflattering picture of Cortex on the board. Young Link analyzed every facial feature of Cortex, from the N on his head down to his very chin.
"You know, now that I think about it...he looks like a pedophile," Young Link made his very profound answer, as a convinced Toon Link nodded his head. "The kind that hangs around little kids, and gets away with it."
"I can see where you're coming from. As for me, whenever I see Dr. Cortex, I see nothing more than an evil Marxist. He must be an ancestor of Karl Marx."
"Oooh that's a good one. Bet that's why Cortex bleached his skin yellow, to hide his heritage. But now that I look at that picture a second time, Cortex seems more like a drug lord..."
"How about we do this?" Toon Link took out a coin from his pocket, and placed it in the palm of his head. "I'll flip this coin here; if it lands on heads, then Cortex is a pedophile, and a Marxist. And if it lands on tails, then he's a drug lord...and a Marxist."
"Good call. Let's see what we get!" Young Link rubbed his hands with anticipation, as Toon Link flipped the coin in the air. The coin would land on the palm of Toon Link's hand...
...landing on tails. Which could only mean one thing...Dr. Neo Cortex was a drug lord. Oh, and also a Marxist. An evil Marxist.
"Well, Hutch, it's settled...Cortex's a drug lord!" confirmed Toon Link as he placed his coin back in his pocket. "Much easier to expose him that way. Now let's get down to business!"
As Cortex stated, he was filming some TV advertisements with his minions. The residents called these advertisements promos, but to each their own. Given that each one of Cortex's minions had their own special quirk, filming proved to be quite challenging...
"Tiny needs more time to remember lines!" complained Tiny Tiger, as he held his script in his hand; Cortex just looked at the burly tiger, shaking his head.
"Tiny, I gave you three hours to remember your lines," a very disappointed Cortex said to the tiger, as he had to be as generous as possible with a few select minions. "And you only have three lines to recite!"
"Tiny only does best when there's just two lines. Tiny's very sorry, Dr. Cortex..." As Cortex sighed and facepalmed, Fox and Falco both entered the gardens, where all the filming took place.
"Woah, what's all of this?" inquired Fox, seeing Cortex, his minions, Pit, Brio, and a whole production crew. "Dr. Cortex, how did you afford..."
"Oh, the production crew?" asked Cortex, smiling as his spirits were lifted up with the very presence of Fox and Falco. "I threw loads of money at them. Literally."
"I'm the director!" Pit randomly announced, before pointing at the director's cap on his head; if Pit was the director, there would be no possible way that Cortex would get any filming done without losing it.
"No, I'm the director," a middle-aged man said, walking over to Pit and grabbing the hat the angel was wearing. "This kid is in charge of the clapboard, since he can't be trusted with anything else."
Director: We had to redo nearly over a hundred shots, and most of our cameras nearly ended up severely damaged. Interestingly enough, none of Dr. Cortex's minions had anything to do with it...
"Cortex is filming a whole bunch of local TV advertisements," Falco explained to Fox, since the pilot wasn't in the know. Too busy enjoying home life with Krystal. "He wants the whole city to know about his campaign for man of the mansion."
"Why would anyone in Seattle care?" questioned Fox, as the director was going over stuff with two of Cortex's minions, Ripper Roo and Dingodile. "The only time that Seattle cares about the mansion is when we get in trouble for starting crap in the city."
"And they always expect us to solve it, too...bunch of lazy bums." Falco looked towards Cortex, who was seen furiously rewriting Tiny's lines. "Hey, Dr. Cortex, how about me and Fox get in on this advertising thing?"
"If you wish to be a part of it, you must give your undying support to Dr. Cortex, and support him and his candidacy at all times," Brio said to the pilots, as if it were a command - much easier said than done.
"Uh...sure, we can do that. Just as long as you get my handsome face on camera..."
It has been six months, and Waluigi still had yet to settle things with Ryo Sakazaki. The lanky man had fallen head over heels for Ryo's girlfriend, King, and even invited the woman to the Valentine's Day party. Even after learning that King was Ryo's love, Waluigi still had feelings for her, and even had a "fight" with Ryo over King. Best to use those quotation marks loosely.
But Waluigi knew that six months was far too long to go without settling the score, and so the lanky man vowed to nip things in the bud between him and Ryo once and for all. Figuring that none of the three man of the tower candidates could help him, Waluigi decided to have a word with Mario.
"Open up Mario, it's an emergency!" Waluigi called out to the plumber, standing on his doorstep as he aggressively knocked on the front door. Eventually Mario answered the door, while holding his daughter Jennifer in his arms.
"Look-a man, I'm trying to have a play-a date with my daughter," Mario said to Waluigi, already annoyed by the lanky man's presence alone. "So what is this so-called-a 'emergency'?"
"Screw your play date, this is more important! This is about me and Ryo Sakazaki." Having heard enough, Mario immediately slammed the door on Waluigi, who went back to knocking on the front door. "Please help me, I can't do this alone!"
"Go help-a yourself!" With no other option in mind, Waluigi got down on his knees...and started sobbing away. While his sobs were pretty quiet, it was enough to garner the attention of Mario, who opened the door once more.
"Please help me Mario, you're my one and only hope...I'll even make it up to you...an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth...or something." With a sigh and a quick roll of his eyes, Mario already made his mind up.
"Fine...I'll help-a you with your little love-a triangle dilemma." Waluigi was all smiles, squealing happily as he stopped crying and stood up. "Come on inside, and don't touch-a my rugs! I just bought-a those; they're Gucci quality."
Link and Cloud were outside with Champion Link, doing what they did best - lending a helping hand to others, which helped them a lot in regards to their candidacy. The swordsmen were helping Gulliver, a seagull who somehow washed up at the side of the mansion's lake. How that was even possible remained to be seen, but Link, Cloud, and Champion Link did everything they could to revive Gulliver.
"Thanks for saving me, laddies!" Gulliver thanked the three swordsmen, grateful to be conscious and on his feet again. "And thanks for finding my communicator parts! Now I can contact my crew, and let them know about my location."
"Glad we could be of assistance," Link said to Gulliver, who was busy putting his communicator parts back into his communication device. "So, uh, what are you gonna do now?"
"Oh, nothing much - just mindlessly walk back and forth on the beach until my crew comes and picks me up." So Gulliver got to walking, although he couldn't help but notice that something was greatly amiss...
"Gulliver, I don't mean to burst your bubble...but we're not at a beach," Cloud pointed out to the seagull, who realized this very fact as he looked shocked. Being washed up at the lake (of all places) must've messed with Gulliver's head.
"Right you are, my friend! I might as well head to the nearest beach, and walk back and forth like a mindless idiot over there. My crew better show up on time!"
Gulliver: I love my crew, they're just a bunch of absolute jokers! Every time I return to the ship, those crew members groan at the mere sight of me. It's their own special sarcastic greeting. Wish I knew of a way to return the favor. Those lousy jokers never fail to make me laugh!
"That Gulliver guy is such a weirdo," Cloud said to Link and Champion Link, with Gulliver walking away from the lake as the swordsmen returned to the mansion. "I hope we don't have to deal with anymore weirdos like him for the rest of the day."
"Be careful what you wish for, Cloud..." Champion Link advised the swordsman, before coming to a stop when he saw a man wielding a sword near the mansion. Link and Cloud came to a stop as well. "...hey, who's that guy?"
The man wielding a sword was snooping around the mansion, looking for something...or someone. With his sword and his purple headband, the man didn't seem to be a very trustworthy character.
"I wouldn't trust that guy, he seems very suspicious," said Link, watching as the man with the sword was peeking through one of the mansion windows. Such strange behavior.
"Well he does have a sword, so I'm kinda impartial to him," shrugged Champion Link, who felt less skeptical about the stranger compared to Link and Cloud. "We should probably go help him, he looks lost."
"Oh we'll help him alright..." said Cloud, marching over to the man with the sword as the two Links followed his lead. "...hey, why are you looking through the window? Are you some kind of creeper?"
"You're not talking to me, are you?" the man with the sword questioned Cloud, wielding his blade as he was seemingly looking for a fight. "I am no creeper...I am Schezo the dark mage. And I demand that you stop calling me creeper at once! I prefer people to scream my name, when we're together."
"Yup...I've heard enough, I'm outta here," said Link as he tried to make a run for it, but Cloud wouldn't let the Hylian get away that easily. He grabbed Link's hand, keeping his friend in place as Link grunted.
"Okay, wise guy, what are you here for?" Cloud asked Schezo, as he wanted the dark mage out of his sight, and off the mansion premises entirely. "You're looking for somebody?"
"I'm actually looking for a source of magic," replied Schezo; his goal was to become the most powerful sorcerer in existence, and gathering as much magic as he could would help him reach his goal. "I figured that this mansion might have just the amount of magic I need!"
"Any particular kind of magic you're looking for?" Champion Link asked Schezo, who went back to looking through the mansion window. "Like, dark magic, black magic...supernatural magic..."
"Those are all the same thing..." Link said to Champion Link, and soon the two Links found themselves in the middle of a slightly intense staredown.
"Well I don't see you making any suggestions!" While the Links continued to stare at each other, Schezo couldn't help but notice Chrom's wife Raven, chilling in the living room.
"That woman with the spellbook, she must have magic, right?" Schezo asked the swordsmen, who looked through the window and saw Raven sitting on a living room couch. "She looks like the one...there's something inside of her I can't resist!"
"Riiiiight..." said Link, before leaning in close to Cloud and Champion Link and whispered to them, "...we really shouldn't trust this guy."
"Well if we don't find him some magic, then he won't leave us alone," Cloud whispered back, seeing him and his boys in a lose-lose situation. "Let's introduce him to Raven, let Raven give Schezo some of his magic, and be done with it."
Ike was waiting around the gaming room entrance, tapping his foot impatiently and frowning with his arms folded. He was waiting for his best friend, his main man, the Wind Sage known to many as Soren. It had been months since Ike and Soren last hung out, so Ike wished to make up for some "lost time".
"Soren sure knows how to show up late on arrival..." remarked Ike as he continued to frown, before smiling only a few seconds. "...bet he thinks that makes him look cool. I honestly can't fault him for doing that."
"No, nobody here has gotten really sick since February," Felicia spoke with Soren, as the maid was seen walking down the hallway with the wind sage. Ike grinned the very moment he saw his best friend Soren. "As far as I know, the mansion must've already built herd immunity."
"And I can only assume that the tower has done the same thing as well?" Soren asked Felicia, as he and the maid came to a stop. The wind sage looked up, and his face fell when he saw Ike grinning at him. "Oy vey..."
"Soren! Buddy! You made it!" exclaimed Ike, as he ran up to Soren and gave the wind sage the biggest bro hug in existence. "Haven't seen you in months!"
"Yes, we haven't seen each other since the Super Bowl...and for good reason." As Ike refused to tighten his grip on Soren, Soren began to wonder if coming to the mansion today was such a good idea.
Soren: Jigglypuff still looks at me a lot whenever I stop by the mansion, as usual...and yet, it's still nothing compared to the way Ike looks at me. *turns around and sees Ike, who is staring at Soren from the distance*
Ike: *runs off after being caught*
Soren: Why does he keep doing that...?
"I'm so glad you could make it, Soren, we got some new stuff in the gaming room," Ike said to the wind sage, after he ended the bro hug; Soren tried to make a run for it, but Ike grabbed him in the nick of time. "Silly Soren - the gaming room's right here!"
"I know, I know, I was just...testing you," replied Soren, as he gave Felicia a disheartened look; a rueful smile was the best response that Felicia could come up with.
"Ha ha, I knew you were! Now come on, what are you waiting for? We're totally gonna pummel Sonic and Amy at air hockey!"
"I'm not that good at air hockey, I'll only drag you down..." Soren thought that an excuse like that would save him, but sadly it did not as Ike grabbed the wind sage's hand and dragged him inside the gaming room.
"Quit selling yourself short like that, man! I'll be the Sidney Crosby to your Mario Lemieux! The two of us can never be stopped!"
"Ike sure acts different whenever Soren is around..." Felicia remarked after Ike and Soren went inside the gaming room, as the maid walked away. "...guess he really does value friendship that much!"
Before speaking with Mario, Waluigi felt half-confident about speaking with Ryo - fearing that he would somehow mess up, and provoke Ryo enough to get his butt kicked. But after he and Mario talked things out, Waluigi was now fully confident to settle things with Ryo for good. The lanky man confidently walked out of Mario's house, standing on the doorstep and looking up at the sky with a confident smile and his hands on his hips.
"Waluigi, you're standing in-a my way..." Mario said to the lanky man, who turned around and saw Mario standing by. Waluigi moved out of the way, allowing Mario to step out the front door.
"My bad, Mario, I was a little too caught up in the moment," Waluigi apologized to the plumber, who closed his front door and locked it. Can't let any hoodlums burglarize his house. "So, all I have to do is by myself, right?"
"The easiest, yet-a hardest thing you can do. I'll be there to provide-a backup, if needed. Just remember what we said, and don't screw-a things up!"
"Don't screw things up...when does that ever not happen?" Waluigi let out a self-deprecating laugh, before getting all confident again. "Alright, I'm ready...let's do this!"
"I just got off-a the phone with Akuma - he told-a me that Ryo is at the Pokemon sanctuary, doing some training with-a his little sister Yuri." The moment that Mario mentioned Yuri, Waluigi kept his lips pursed, as if he was nervous. "What's the matter, Waluigi?"
"Oh, nothing...acid reflux. Happens all the time. But I got this." Waluigi looked confident again, looking proud as he pounded his chest. "I am Waluigi, hear me ROAR!"
"Please don't do that when-a we reach the sanctuary..." So Mario and Waluigi went to the mansion, with Mario hoping that Waluigi would be on his best behavior. Waluigi had a lot of confidence in him, so the margin for error was hopefully low.
Meanwhile, three of Cortex's minions - Pinstripe Potoroo, and the Komodo Bros - went to Luigi's house, per orders of Cortex. Their mission? Retrieve someone from the Luigi household. Toon Link and Young Link poked their heads out of some shrubbery, spying on Cortex's minions.
"Cortex's minions are drug dealers...it's being confirmed before our very eyes," affirmed Toon Link, watching as Pinstripe and the Komodos Bros approached the front door; the Hylian couldn't confirm if any of Cortex's minions had drugs with them, but the evidence was abundantly clear in his eyes.
"Only drug dealers like those three would approach someone's house while empty-handed in broad daylight," said Young Link, also convinced that Cortex's minions were in the drug dealing business. "Wonder what sick tricks they're pulling..."
"Remember what we came here for, you two," Pinstripe said to the Komodo Bros, Moe and Joe, as they nodded their heads. Pinstripe rang the doorbell, and Daisy answered the door.
"Hey boys!" Daisyi greeted Pinstripe and the Komodo Bros, who didn't look like they wanted to be friendly. "Cortex's still letting you three stay in-a Seattle?"
"This is a stick-up!" shouted Pinstripe, taking out his Tommy gun and pointing it at Daisy while the Komodo Bros took out their swords. "Give us Jeanna, or else!"
"Deanna...her name is Deanna," Daisy had to correct Pinstripe, while she was not at all scared by the Tommy gun pointed at her face. Woman had nerves of steel. "And I'm not letting you have my child."
"Deanna, Jeanna...meh, same thing. Just do what I say!"
Cortex: Every great candidate needs to have at least one publicity shot of holding a baby, just to trick the general public into thinking that they're good with children. Luigi and Daisy have an infant child; the only thing I'll have to worry about is inconsolable crying. But at least the baby won't fight back!
"Daisy you left-a the pot of beans boiled over on-a the stove..." Luigi informed his wife as he showed up at the front door, only to shriek when he saw Pinstripe and the Komodo Bros armed with their weapons. "...mama mia!"
"Luigi! Hand over your baby, and we won't hurt your wife!" Komodo Moe commanded the plumber, who did as he was told as he ran inside the nursery and grabbed Deanna.
"Luigi what are you doing?!" a helpless Daisy screamed at her husband, watching as Luigi ran to the front door with Deanna in hand. Deanna had no idea what was going on; thankfully she hasn't cried (yet).
"He has a gun, Daisy - I'm only doing this-a to protect you!" Luigi told his wife, before handing Deanna over to Pinstripe; Pinstripe put his gun away, smiling as he accepted Deanna. "Take good-a care of her!"
"Much appreciate bub, thanks!" Komodo Joe thanked Luigi, as he and the other minions hightailed away from the house. The buddy cops remained in the bushes, watching as Daisy chased after the three minions.
"Is Cortex trying to get Deanna coked up?!" seethed Toon Link, in disbelief that Cortex would stoop so low and do such a despicable thing. "Hoo boy, this has taken a dark turn..."
"Who's to say that Cortex's other minions aren't doing similar wretched things?" pondered Young Link, as a sudden wave of horrific realization washed over Toon Link. "We gotta get back inside that mansion, and fast..."
"If Cortex thinks he could get away with his drug-dealing ways, he's got another thing coming for him!" The buddy cops got out of the shrubbery, as they ran to the mansion. Luigi stepped out of his house a few seconds later...
"Daisy, you still left-a the pot boiling over on the stove!" Luigi called out to the princess, more concerned about some silly pot than his own child. "Our house-a might catch on fire because-a of you!"
Formerly in the living room, Raven was now in the cafe, having fixed herself some coffee. Link, Cloud, and Champion Link entered the cafe, bringing Schezo along with him.
"There she is - Raven, the woman you were creepily spying on," Link said to the dark mage, who was staring down Raven as if he were staring down a rival dodgeball player at a rec center. "Just do your best not to..."
"I have found you woman, now give me everything you got!" Schezo brazenly confronted Raven, catching the mage by surprise as she looked bewildered.
"...embarrass yourself." Link and his friends had no choice but to sit back, and hope that Schezo wouldn't make a fool out of himself. Although he had a solid reputation of doing the exact opposite.
"Do I know you from somewhere?" Raven curiously asked Schezo, who had his sword out, before looking up at the three swordsmen. "Do any of you three know this man?"
"I saw you from the window, and I can tell that you have magic," Schezo said to Raven, making the mage feel rather uncomfortable. Having been spied on from a window would make anyone else feel that way. "How about you do me a favor, and lend me some of your magic?"
"No thanks, I'm good. I don't give away magic that freely, especially to strangers." Schezo didn't take that very lightly, as the dark mage became incensed.
"I am asking you to lend me your magic, and that's an order! Either you give me your magic, or I'll have to force myself upon you!"
"Force yourself upon who?" questioned a certain prince, confronting Schezo from behind; Schezo turned around and saw Chrom, who was mean mugging him.
"Aha! A worthy opponent!" Seeing Chrom as someone worth fighting, Schezo came face-to-face with the prince, holding out his sword. "I take it that you're after Raven and her magic, too!"
"Um...I'm her husband." Apparently that made Chrom even more worthy to Schezo, who was now sizing up the prince and checking out any weak points.
"Then it's settled - we shall fight for not only Raven's magic, but for her love as well! Your wife shall be mine for the taking!"
"Yeah, I hate to burst your bubble...but I got rid of all my magic," confessed Raven, as she was saving Chrom (and herself) from having to deal with Schezo. "All my magic is no more!"
"But why? How?! This can't be!" growled Schezo, taking out his frustration on Chrom as he kicked the prince in his shin. "Enjoy your putrid wife, scum...I'll look for magic elsewhere!"
"Nobody...calls my wife...putrid..." Chrom said to Schezo, wheezing in pain as he got down on one knee. Schezo stormed out of the cafe, with Link, Cloud, and Champion Link following after him.
Schezo: Thought that Raven would be the one...turns out that I was wrong. But no matter, there should be plenty of magic around this mansion. I shall examine every being under this roof, and find out if they're the perfect match!
Captain Falcon: *walks by, murmuring* This guy's never heard of anything called a dating website before...
It had been a long time coming, but the mansion finally got air hockey in the gaming room. Sonic and Amy were one of the first ones to play air hockey, and they were going up against the deadly and lethal duo of Ike and Soren. With how much Ike talked up Soren's air hockey skills, Sonic and Amy should feel fortunate if they even squeaked out a win.
"Oh yeah, another score!" cheered Sonic, after Amy sent the puck flying into Ike and Soren's goal; he and Amy were up, five to zero. "What's the matter, Ike and Soren? Off your game?"
"It's all good, Soren is doing this on purpose," Ike assured Sonic, looking on the bright side of things despite losing big. "He wants the lead to get big, so that we'll make a comeback of epic proportions and win!"
"Wouldn't that mean you're losing on purpose, too?" Amy asked Ike, who smiled and nodded as he patted Soren on the back. As one might believe, Soren didn't appreciate it.
"Whatever his game plan is, that's my game plan as well. I'd say that Soren is the better air hockey player, between the two of us; whatever he says goes."
"I never played air hockey a single day in my life..." muttered Soren, as Ike laughed heartily and slapped Soren on his back. So hard, Soren feared that his spine was broken in two
"Don't take this dude seriously - he's just trying to trick you. This is how he plays mind games - we won't know how well they work unless we win."
"Fat chance of that ever happening..." snorted Sonic, knowing that Soren was dragging Ike down with his apathetic playing. "...now let's hurry this thing up, so we can get our win!"
"That's what you think! Bring it on!" Play immediately resumed, as Sonic, Amy, and Ike were using their strikers to hit the puck around. Soren just stood around and did nothing, and Sonic took advantage of it as he scored, sending the puck into the goal.
"Sonic, Soren is barely even playing with us!" Amy said to the hedgehog, pointing at Soren as the score was now six to zero. "Ike, you can't stand for that!"
"Only reason that Soren isn't playing is because he's scouting you guys. He's gotta see what your skills and weaknesses are, before he goes in for the kill." At this point, Amy was getting real tired of Ike's crap, as she rolled her eyes.
"You need to stop making excuses for your friend, Ike...Soren, if you don't actually participate, I'm going to quit playing!"
"Have it your way..." sighed Soren, finally playing the game as he had his hand on his air hockey striker; he didn't want to play, but if it saved him from getting an earful from Amy, it was worth it.
At the Pokemon sanctuary, Ryo Sakazaki was training with his younger sister Yuri, as the two siblings were having a practice fight of sorts. Mario and Waluigi came into the area where the Sakazakis were fighting, as the confidence that Waluigi had was slowly fading away.
"You ready for this, Waluigi?" Mario asked the lanky man, who had a nervous look on his face, which made Mario sigh. "What, oh what, could-a possibly be bothering you?"
"Acid reflux, again..." replied Waluigi as he shook off his nervous look, now going back to looking confident and proud again. "...I can do this. Nothing can stop me now!"
"That's right! Now go in there and-a tell Ryo how you feel!" So Waluigi proudly marched over to Ryo and Yuri, as Mario slapped Waluigi on the butt. Waluigi stopped and turned around, frowning at Mario. "That was for encouragement..."
Waluigi: The things I'm going to say to Ryo are gonna be straight from the heart - nothing rehearsed lines, just pure emotion. I did write down some lines that I was going to say to Ryo a few weeks ago, which were about friendships and changing your world ideologies. Perhaps I should just stop watching anime...
Waluigi walked up to Ryo and Yuri, sucking in his chest as he waited to be noticed. Ryo eventually noticed the lanky man, as he and Yuri ceased their fight.
"Well, well, well...look who it is!" said Ryo, wiping the sweat off his forehead as he looked at the uber-confident Waluigi. "Came here to challenge me to another 'duel', Waluigi?"
"Is it just me, or does he look even creepier the last time I saw him?" Yuri asked Ryo, feeling scared for her livelihood just by being in Waluigi's presence. Waluigi really had that creepy aura about him.
"Trust me, he's always creepy...it's why all the ladies are scared of him." Ryo would confront Waluigi, expecting the lanky man to pick a fight with him. "So what are you here for, Waluigi? Learned a new 'special power' you wanna show off?"
"I am here to set things straight," replied Waluigi, tightening his fists as he looked cool - as cool as the other side of the pillow. "Set things straight with you...and your woman."
"You're not talking about King, are you?" Ryo facepalmed, shaking his head in dismay. "Still in love with her, huh?"
"To tell you the truth...no. I'm now over King." Ryo looked up with widened eyes, unable to comprehend the very words that exited Waluigi's mouth.
"So you don't like her anymore? No romantic feelings towards her or anything?" A second affirmation from Waluigi would mean that Ryo wouldn't have to worry about Waluigi ever again.
"No more...she's all yours, my friend." Delighted, Ryo let out a sigh of relief; he was waiting for Waluigi to come around, and now the lanky man finally did.
"Well that's great to hear! King was really showing a lot of regret, so I'm glad that you learned your lesson. Let's put this whole thing in the..."
"Oh, and one more thing...I might have some romantic feeling towards your sister." And it was in that very moment that things went downhill, real quick.
"This has got to be a joke..." Yuri chuckled nervously, as an equally nervous Mario was pulling on his collar. Waluigi knew how to screw things up, and he sure proved it right now.
"Yuri, can I tell you how cute and petite you are?" Waluigi asked the martial artist, immensely creeping her out in every single way possible. "Your hair, it's so long and pretty...and I get lost in your eyes..."
"Waluigi what the heck man?!" Ryo shouted at the lanky man, pushing him away from Yuri as he stood up for his sister. Mario wanted to intervene, but was greatly unsure about it.
"I dunno, maybe I'm just a sucker for brunettes. They're like the greatest crown jewel in the whole universe. Along with blondes and redheads."
"Why are you hitting on my little sister? Do you have any kind of restraint?" If Ryo knew Waluigi any better, he would know that the answer was a big fat no.
"I can't talk to Yuri just because she's your little sister? Yikes, the rumors were right, you're just as overprotective as your dad..."
"Rumors? What rumors? Where did you hear them from? Why I oughta..." Ryo was about to deliver a knuckle sandwich to Waluigi, only for Mario to save the day by dragging Waluigi away.
"Excuse-a us for a moment..." Mario said to Ryo, taking Waluigi with him as he scurried out of the sanctuary. If it weren't for Mario, Waluigi would've been a goner...
"Ryo, I'm scared..." Yuri said to her brother, as he felt very uneasy; now she knew how every woman who had a conversation with Waluigi felt. "...I don't want some loser like Waluigi having feelings for me."
"Calling Waluigi a loser is lightly putting it," said Ryo, with a big frown on his face. He was acting a bit "laissez-faire" with Waluigi before, but the course had definitely changed now. "That guy..."
Cortex was in the lounge with his production crew and his minions, shooting one of his TV advertisements. The evil genius was wielding a lightsaber, and was doing a bunch of poses with it - most of which were cringeworthy.
"Acting like a typical crackhead...how shameful," Toon Link said to Young Link, as the buddy cops observed Cortex's actions with their heads poking through the lounge entrance. "He's not even hiding it anymore!"
"Only a crackhead like him would be so brazen to exhibit crackhead tendencies in the open," stated Young Link, as he saw Cortex's minions and the production crew gathered around. "The production crew doesn't seem to mind as much...maybe they've accepted Cortex's behavior."
"If so, then that means they're only enabling him. Cortex must be stopped, before he enables many others!" The buddy cops left the premises.
"What's the theme again, behind this advertisement?" Fox asked Falco, as the pilots watched Cortex now slashing the air with the lightsaber...and almost poking himself in the eye.
"It's for Cortex to show that he can 'connect' with the 'nerd community'," explained Falco, as Cortex accidentally hit himself below the belt. He shook it off easily, though. "Like anyone ever uses the term 'nerd community'..."
"CUT!" the director shouted, as Pit slammed down hard on the clapboard. Cortex dropped his lightsaber, as he was nearly out of breath. "That was some of the worst lightsaber wielding I have ever seen..."
"Should be another classic!" gleamed Cortex, feeling optimistic about his advertisement. "Just need to add some very poor CGI, and that ad will be an instant hit!"
"Good news, Dr. Cortex - we have acquired the baby!" Brio informed the evil genius, running inside the lounge with Pinstripe and the Komodo Bros. Komodo Joe had Deanna in his hands, and Deanna had yet to cry. Such a composed baby.
"Excellent work, you three!" Cortex commended Pinstripe and the Komodo Bros, whom he considered some of his more trustworthy minions. Those three certainly proved their worth. "Give sweet Deanna to Pit; I'll let him babysit the child, until the photoshoot is ready."
Komodo Joe: Say, Moe, how did we lose Princess Daisy? One moment, she was chasing after us screaming like a banshee, and the next thing I know, she was gone! My ears won't stop ringing...
Komodo Moe: Two words...smoke bomb. *holds up smoke bomb* Makes even the most imcompentent fool on earth look like a genius!
Komodo Joe: Are you implying that you yourself are an incompetent fool?
Komodo Moe: Don't make me beat you up on camera...
Luigi: Our stove didn't catch-a on fire, thank goodness...we're a little behind-a on our mortgage, so having to pay for damages would've been-a tragic. At least we have...
Daisy: *slams front door wide open, enters house seething* Luigi...
Luigi: *turns around, smiles at Daisy* ...ah, there you are, Daisy! Our house didn't burn-a down, so we're saved! Why are you so angry?
Daisy: *marches towards Luigi with frying pan, still seething*
Luigi: *backs away* Alright Daisy, put that frying pan away...you remember the last-a time you used that thing on me...
"Where did Dingodile run off to?" asked Cortex as he looked around for the mutant. "He's supposed to be in my next advertisement."
"Dingodile was asked by Ashley to be in today's episode of Microwave Idol Mamorin," Pit explained to Cortex, after he accepted Deanna from Komodo Joe. "He's probably filming the episode right now."
"D'oh! I hate it when Dingodile goes rogue and does his own thing..."
Dingodile was in the kitchen with Mamori, Ashley, and Asuka, acting as a guest star on Microwave Idol Mamorin. The dingo-crocodile hybrid was showing off some Australian cuisine, such as the Australian meat pie.
"A meat pie is always incomplete without tomato sauce," explained Dingodile, as he poured some tomato sauce over his meat pie. "You eat a meat pie without tomato sauce, you're doing it all wrong!"
"Thank you, Dingodile, for that helpful tip," Mamori thanked the mutant, before turning to face the camera as she was ready to sign off. "And thank all of you, for joining us for today's episode of Microwave Idol Mamorin! Remember, we can warm up your heart, with the press of a..."
"SILENCE!" shouted Schezo, jumping into the kitchen as just the episode went off-air. The dark mage pointed at Ashley. "You, evil witch! Lend me your magic!"
"Have you gone mad, mate?" Dingodile confronted Schezo, as the three swordsmen entered the kitchen. Schezo would brush Dingodile to the side, focusing her attention on Ashley.
"I have been told that you're a witch, which means that you have magic. So why don't you give some of your magic to me?"
"No thanks, I'm not interested," Ashley flatly replied, not fearing Schezo or his sword. The young witch feared very little to begin with.
"Not interested? I am making a very humble request, and this is how you treat me? Guess I'll have to do things the hard way...stay put, while I make my advance on you!"
"Wow, you really sound like a pervert..." This angered Schezo, for he had been accused of being a pervert many times before. It greatly irritated him.
"How dare you besmirch me with such a haughty accusation! I shall clear up my reputation, by assaulting this witch girl!"
"That's a very bad way to do it, man..." Link said to Schezo, who readied his mind; Schezo was about to lunge towards Ashley, only for Dingodile to whip out his flamethrower and fire some flames at the dark mage.
"You can thank me later, mate," Dingodile said to Ashley, as he put his flamethrower away; Schezo was now screaming, trying to put out the flames on his clothes.
"I AM VERY HOT AND BOTHERED RIGHT NOW!" the dark mage screamed, now using the stop, drop, and roll method to put out the flames. Once the flames died down, Champion Link grabbed Schezo and dragged him out of the kitchen.
"Sorry about that ladies...and Dingodile," the Hylian apologized to Mamori and company, as poor Schezo was left singed. The dude kinda deserved it. "...we came at the wrong time."
Link: We have a few people in mind that Schezo can speak with. It's all a matter of finding the right person to deal with Schezo. Ashley clearly wasn't the best choice...
Ike and Soren were making a comeback of sorts against Sonic and Amy in air hockey (just as Ike figured), as the score was now 8-7. Sonic and Amy were still in the lead, but Ike and Soren were cutting it close.
"Oh yeah, another score!" cheered Sonic, sending the puck flying past Ike and Soren's strikers as the score was now 9-7. Ike grunted, while Soren barely reacted.
"It's good, it's all good, we still got this!" assured Ike, as he got his game face back on. Once the puck was back on the hockey table, Ike and the others were hitting it with their strikers...until Soren scored.
"Look at that, I actually scored yet again..." remarked Soren, showing some emotion as he felt relatively surprised. Ike happily gave Soren a bro hug, lifting the wind sage off the floor. "...Ike, can you please put me down?"
"Ike, you're always acting so buddy-buddy with Soren," Amy said to the swordsman, who placed Soren back on his feet. "Why is that?"
"Because Soren is everything that I am, and everything that I am not," replied Ike, wrapping his arm around the greatly annoyed Soren. "He's the complete package!"
"Wish that Tails and I could have a friendship like that..." said Sonic, very envious of the friendship that Ike and Soren had. "...unlike Knuckles, Tails hates bro hugs! What kind of person hates bro hugs?"
"I know, right? That's why Soren here is a real one. This man could murder his entire family, and he would still be like a brother to me."
"Can we just finish this air hockey game already?" pleaded Soren - the more Ike talked him up, the more unnerved the wind sage grew. "Quite frankly, this is not what I had on my agenda today..."
Deeply ashamed of himself, Waluigi sat in his bedroom, with his face buried in his hands. The lanky man had some company in Mario, who comfortingly patted Waluigi on his back.
"Why is it that I fall head over heels for any woman in existence?" whined Waluigi, as the confidence he once thought he had was now gone away. "Why did God have to make every woman on his earth so beautiful?!"
"Don't be so down-a on yourself, Waluigi, it's not-a your fault," Mario said to the lanky man, only making him even sadder than he was before. "Okay, maybe it is your fault..."
"Time to face the facts...I'm cursed. I'll be a single loser that'll never get a woman!"
"Stop acting like that! Just because-a you acted weird around Yuri, doesn't mean that you'll never find-a the woman of your dreams. Turn that frown upside-a down!"
"Waluigi, you in there?" asked Ryo as he knocked on Waluigi's bedroom door, sounding like he was ticked off. Waluigi, scared for his life, hid underneath his bed.
"Tell him that I ran off to Montreal, to live with the sea lions.." Waluigi whispered to Mario, before ducking his head underneath his bed. Mario hopped off Waluigi's bed and answered the door, seeing Ryo.
"Hey Mario, is Waluigi here?" Ryo asked the plumber as he looked around the room. He was searching every square inch of the room, as Mario stayed put.
"He, uh, he had some-a where to be," replied Mario, as Ryo looked underneath the bed and saw Waluigi, curled up in a ball. A very tight-fitting ball.
"Aha!" Ryo pulled Waluigi out from underneath his bed, before standing the lanky man up. Waluigi was cowering in fear at the sight of Ryo.
"May I interest you in...a glass of water?" Waluigi asked Ryo with a smile, before turning his face away from him. He felt a sucker punch coming his way.
"You got some nerve, flirting with my little sister...and I'm not going to let you get away with it. Now look at me in the face!"
"Is this good enough?" Waluigi slowly turned to face Ryo, too chicken to give the fighter full eye contact. Ryo pointed at Waluigi, making the lanky man nervous.
"You talk to my sister again, and you're gonna wish you never opened your mouth..." After he made his threat to Waluigi, Ryo left Waluigi's room, as Waluigi sank to his knees.
Ryo: Before I would take it easy with Waluigi, only because I knew that he was weak, and not that much of a threat. But now, it's personal. If he really thinks he could get away with what he did with Yuri, he's got another thing coming for him!
"The best thing you can-a do, is apologize," Mario said to Waluigi, putting a comforting hand on the lanky man's back once more. "Sitting around and waiting for your problems-a to go away won't make things any better!"
"Shoot, that was going to be my plan..." Waluigi snapped his fingers in disgust, before pulling himself off the floor as he stood up. "...you're right, Mario. I just have to man up!"
"Exactly! And you're man enough-a to handle Ryo on your own, right?" Judging by the hesitance eschewed by Waluigi, the answer to that question was no. "Mama mia..."
Cortex was filming another advertisement, and this time he was in front of a green screen Judging by the sounds he was making, the evil genius was firing eye lasers, like he was an honorary member of the Powerpuff Girls.
"I am Dr. Neo Cortex, and I am running for Man of the Mansion!" Cortex shouted at the camera, once his charade was over with. "Give me all your undying support...or else!"
"CUT!" shouted the director, as N. Gin clamped down hard on the clapboard. N. Gin was on clapboard duty, what with Pit babysitting Deanna. "Cortex, are you sure the green screen will turn out right?"
"Absolutely! That Godzilla-destroying-the-city footage will work perfectly." Chilling in the back were Fox and Falco, both of whom were dying to be in one of Cortex's advertisements.
"Man, I really wish that Krystal was here..." Fox said to Falco, his patience with Cortex dwindling with every second. Soon enough, Krystal showed up. "...ah, looks like my wish came true."
"I've been waiting for you to come back...home?" Krystal said to Fox, before looking around and seeing the TV production crew and whatnot. "What's all of this?"
"Cortex's making a bunch of TV ads," explained Falco; Krystal didn't feel that surprised, she was aware of how pretentious Cortex was. "We're supposed to be in one, but that hasn't happened yet."
"You shouldn't waste your time, Cortex might have you boys fooled." Krystal saw N. Gin creepily advanced towards her, as the cyborg was all smiles. "Oh no..."
"Aren't you a precious little thing..." N. Gin said to Krystal, rubbing his hands as he was checking out Krystal. "...I'll have you know, I have a sweet spot for cute furry critters like yourself! Even got a furry costume in my closet!"
"Dude, back off, she's my wife," Fox demanded N. Gin, who ignored the pilot as he crept closer to a retreating Krystal. "I'm warning you!"
"N. Gin! What did I tell you about keeping your hands to yourself?" Cortex scolded the cyborg, who stopped in place as he was looking guilty. "Do you want me to get my first-ever sexual harassment lawsuit?"
"Honestly, I'm surprised you never had one before," remarked Krystal, as Toon Link and Young Link peeked from behind the green screen. They had their eyes set upon Cortex.
Toon Link: First the crazy lightsaber stunt, and now firing fake eye lasers? Cortex is making it very obvious that he's on crack! He's sending a clear message to everyone about him being a drug dealer.
Young Link: Call me crazy, but I think that Cortex wants to get arrested. He has strong remorse for his drug-dealing ways, and acting like a crackhead is the best way for him to get his message across.
Toon Link: Wow...that's pretty deep, when you think about it. But Cortex isn't that much of a genius to do that. He's just rubbing it in our faces.
Young Link: Oh yeah, most definitely. Arresting him shouldn't be a hassle!
"Where did that Pit run off to?" asked Cortex as he looked around, hoping that the angel didn't get too far - especially since he was babysitting Deanna. "Why does everyone keep running away?"
"Pit went to go get a snack from a vending machine, Master Cortex," N. Gin informed the evil genius, doing his best to keep his distance from Krystal. "Said he was hungry."
"Oooh...it takes Pit forever to get a snack from the vending machine. He better hurry it up, I really need that baby!"
His clothes scorched thanks to Dingodile, Schezo was still on the hunt for some magic, as the dark mage waited outside the vending room with Link, Cloud, and Champion Link. There were two or three people inside the room that had magic, or so Schezo was told.
"You guys sure that Bowser has actual magic?" Champion Link asked Link and Cloud, as Schezo patiently waited for someone to exit the vending room. Schezo was instructed to use a less head-first approach by Link.
"I mean, we're talking about a guy who has fallen into lava multiple times...and survived," replied Cloud, providing a very valid point that Champion Link couldn't disagree with. "He must have some kind of magic to keep coming back, without a scratch."
"Fair point..." Soon Bowser walked out of the vending room, munching on some chips. Schezo saw the koopa king, taking out his sword.
"You must be Bowser!" the dark mage pointed at Bowser, who was delighted to be addressed by his name. "I need some of your magic."
"An actual fan of mine came to visit me, awesome!" gleamed Bowser, only for his happiness to subside as he scratched his head. "What's this I hear about magic?"
"You have magic in you, yes? Hand it over, give me what's inside you!"
"This guy is seriously rubbing me the wrong way..."
"Who, me? I would never rub you the wrong way!"
"...now's a good time for me to leave!" Bowser quickly skedaddled from the scene, after Schezo creeped him out. Seconds later, the Luminary exited the vending room, only to run into Schezo.
"Is it just me, or are you a mage just like myself?" Schezo asked the Luminary, inferring from the very clothes that the hero was wearing. "Let me examine you all over!"
"...who is this?" the Luminary asked Link, Cloud, and Champion Link as he pointed at Schezo. "He's kind of creeping me out already."
"I am no creeper! I'm just a mage looking for some magic. So give me your magic, or I shall have my way with you!"
"No thanks - I'm not taking any chances." Using the Zoom spell, the Luminary transported himself away from Schezo, much to Schezo's chagrin.
"Turned down yet again! Oh well. Third time's the charm, I suppose." Soon a third person exited the vending room, in Pit; the angel was carrying Deanna.
"Oh cool, is this dude your new friend?" Pit curiously asked the three swordsmen, as he saw Schezo standing menacingly in front of him. "It just had to be a swordie..."
"An angel!" Schezo pointed at Pit, hoping that the angel wouldn't leave him empty-handed. "Perhaps there's a small chance that you have some magic."
"Not really...but I bet this baby does!" Pit held up Deanna to Schezo, in a precarious move that left the three swordsmen worried. "Her dad's got some mad pyrotechnic skills, so she might've inherited some of his abilities. I'll let you take her."
"Pit, no!" Link shouted at the angel, who casually handed Deanna over to Schezo. Schezo happily accepted Deanna, who was surprisingly calm. "Schezo..."
"Fear not, Link! I will be very gentle with this child," Schezo assured the Hylian, although his mannerisms would generally say otherwise. "I shall examine this infant all over, and look for any magic that she may have! Farewell!"
"Get back here, Schezo!" Schezo ran off, running to the nearest elevator and getting inside. The elevator door closed, preventing the three swordsmen from chasing Schezo down.
"No worries, fellas, he'll return Deanna just in time for Cortex's photo op," Pit assured the three swordsmen, who were all frowning at the angel. "Or, maybe not..."
Cortex was back at the gardens, ready to shoot his last advertisement - this time with Fox and Falco. Only thing was, it wasn't an advertisement...
"You wanted us this whole time for a stupid baby photo?!" Falco yelled at Cortex; he and Fox were dying to be on a TV ad, and this whole time, they've been had.
"I refuse to take a picture of me holding Deanna by myself, so I'll need you boys as a backdrop," Cortex explained to the pilots, oblivious to how angry they were with him. "Just like me, you can fool the public into thinking that you're friendly with children!"
Krystal: Tried to tell them. *smirks*
"Dr. Cortex, we got some bad news," Link informed the evil genius, as the three swordsmen and Pit entered the gardens. "Your dumb assistant here gave Deanna away."
"Gave her away to some dark mage creep who speaks in innuendos," added Cloud, as Cortex found himself seething at an innocently smiling Pit. "Pit said you needed Deanna for a photoshoot, right?"
"Pit, you stupid idiot, how will I take that publicity shot without the baby?" Cortex scolded the angel, who was looking down at the ground as he regretted his actions. "What am I supposed to do now?!"
"You always have me, Master Cortex..." N. Gin said to his boss, holding up a diaper. Cortex and the others cringed at N. Gin, as the buddy cops watched from behind some bushes.
"What do you make of that, Starsky?" Young Link asked Toon Link, concerning Pit giving away Deanna to a stranger.
"Pit did the right thing; he knew what Cortex was all about, and saved Deanna from getting all coked up," replied Toon Link, finding what Pit had done to be very admirable. "Deanna is in perfectly good hands." Yeah...that might be a stretch.
"Much agreed. We should give Pit an award for his selfless heroism, once we put Cortex behind bars where he belongs. When are we gonna do that?"
"Do what, give Pit his award? Let's wait until the end of the day. He could take that glazed doughnut I found in the living room couch. That would make for a good trophy."
It was now down to the wire, as Ike and Soren were all tied up with Sonic and Amy in their game of air hockey. Both teams were tied at 15 apiece; whoever scored on the very next would be declared the winner.
"It all comes down to this...the buff swordsman and the coolest wind sage ever, versus the speedy hedgehog and his perky girlfriend," commentated Ike, adding a touch of flair to the already tense moment. "Which duo shall prevail, and reign victorious?"
"Ike, is that really necessary?" Amy questioned the swordsman, with her hands on her hips. "We could do without the needless commentary."
"Sorry, I just thought that a little commentary would help Soren get into the groove. Soren looks ready to go...I think it worked."
"I've been ready to go for a minute now..." muttered Soren, so waiting for the air hockey game to end so he could go back home and escape from Ike. "...let's get this over with already."
Play immediately resumed, as Ike, Soren, Sonic, and Amy were all hitting the puck aggressively with their air strikers. The puck bounced around across the hockey table, bouncing against the rail as it moved over the surface. Things were very intense, especially with a win on the line.
Then suddenly, Soren hit the puck with all his might - giving perhaps the most effort he ever gave during the game - as the puck was sent straight into Sonic and Amy's goal. Ike got really excited, as he and Soren prevailed.
"We did it, my man - we won!" the swordsman exclaimed to Soren, giving the wind sage one heck of a bro hug. "We are the champions, my friends..."
"Let's not get too carried away," advised Soren, but Ike got carried away anyways as he took Soren around the gaming room. The swordsman held up Soren's hand, acting like the wind sage had just won a boxing match.
"You see this man?! This man beat Sonic and Amy in air hockey!" Ike said to a select group of residents, all of whom didn't care. "Of course I helped out, but it was Soren who carried us to victory!"
"Good for him..." responded Mewtwo, in a very emotionless tone; disturbed by Mewtwo's lack of enthusiasm, Ike brought Soren to a few more residents, bragging to them about the big win.
"Uh, Ike...the puck didn't even fall into the hole," Sonic said to the swordsman, as the puck was somehow stuck in the hole it was supposed to fall in. Ike wasn't listening, too busy talking up a storm about Soren.
"Leave it alone, let Ike have his fun..." Amy said to Sonic, as she watched Ike talk to Donkey Kong about how cool and awesome Soren was. "...don't kill the moment."
With Deanna left in the unfortunate hands of Schezo, Cortex and the others were doing everything they could to find the baby's whereabouts. Brio was on the mansion roof, looking through his binoculars.
"Aha!" exclaimed Brio as he spotted something, before talking out a communication device of sorts out of his pocket. "Dr. Cortex, I've spotted the baby! She's outside sitting on the picnic table in front of the tower, with an unidentified man."
"Good work, Brio! We'll deal with this stranger promptly," Cortex's voice was heard from the communication device, as the buddy cops were seen spying on Brio from the roof entrance. They had heard the conversation between Cortex and Brio.
"Criminy, Cortex's trying to get the baby back..." panicked Toon Link, as he and Young Link refused to let Cortex get away with "coking up" an infant. "...let's get a move-on, Hutch!" The buddy cops ran back inside, hoping to make it outside before Cortex could.
Mario: Took him long-a enough, but Waluigi finally got his confidence-a back. And he's gonna need-a that confidence to, to apologize to Ryo. Once again, I have to accompany Waluigi, if it means-a that he makes it out alive. Ryo is not in a good-a mood, and I don't think that ending up-a in the hospital is on Waluigi's agenda...
Mario and Waluigi were at the mansion, on their way to speak with Ryo. The two would come across the three swordsmen, who were in a rush.
"Woah, where are you going fellas?" Mario asked the swordsmen, who didn't answer as they kept on running. Except for Champion Link.
"Some perverted mage guy kidnapped your niece," the Hylian informed Mario, who was enraged at the very thought of Deanna being kidnapped. "We got it all covered."
"He did-a WHAT?!" Mario just stood there in anger, as Champion Link ran off. "Sorry, Waluigi, but you're on-a your own...family comes-a first!"
"You could always make an exception..." Waluigi did his best to entice Mario, but it did not work as Mario ran off. Waluigi snapped his fingers in disgust. "...stupid perverted mage guy! I'll have my revenge on him shortly."
Schezo was outside the tower, with Deanna sitting on the picnic table. Deanna was being very tranquil so far, not reduced to tears even after Schezo took her.
"Hold still, while I examine you," Schezo said to Deanna, who was more focused on sucking her thumb than paying attention. "I can assure you that I will be very gentle..."
"Um, what are you doing with my child?" questioned a certain princess, as Schezo turned around and saw Daisy glaring at him, with her hands on her hips.
"Have no fear, my lady, your son is in good hands. Once I extract the magic that is inside of him, I'll be on my way!"
"My daughter...that baby's my daughter." How Schezo mistook Deanna for being a boy, Daisy will never care to know. "Hand over my daughter, or else!"
"Or else what?" Daisy furiously took out her frying pan, letting Schezo know that she truly meant business. Schezo, looking out for his own safety, backed away. "Let's not get too hasty..."
"Going somewhere?" someone asked Schezo, who turned around and saw Cortex armed with his ray gun. The evil genius was not alone, for he was joined by N. Gin, Fox, Falco, Pit, the three swordsmen, and now Mario.
"Um, no, I was just..." Schezo backed away from Cortex and company, only to bump into Daisy. The mage slowly turned around, as Daisy kept glaring him down. "If you could let me explain..."
Ike had moved on from the gaming room, as he was now bragging around the mansion about how awesome Soren was at air hockey. The swordsman was harassing Samus in the middle of the hallway, expecting the bounty hunter to care.
"Is being great at air hockey something worth bragging about?" Samus asked Ike, who had his arm wrapped around Soren. Soren, understandably, looked done with life.
"Only if you're exceptionally talented at it, like my man Soren!" grinned Ike as he pointed his finger at Soren, who was looking the other way. "Air hockey is one of the many things Soren is a prodigy at."
"Sure...well, I don't give a crap, so why don't you take your friend somewhere else, Ike, and keep on living in la la land? I have stuff to do, you know."
Ike: Can't quite put my finger on why it's happening, but Soren is starting to accrue a lot of haters! I try and tell the people about how cool and awesome Soren is, and yet they always dismiss me. Perhaps they were already aware of how great Soren is. Probably shouldn't have to remind them.
"I would very much prefer to not be the talk of the mansion," Soren said to Ike, as he and the swordsman walked down the hallway. "Sometimes, I don't like the attention."
"Hard disagree - the mansion, no, the whole world, needs to know about your legend," responded Ike, as he and Soren went down the stairs to the foyer. "You can't get your name out there if you don't...the heck?"
Ike and Soren reached the foyer, and there they saw Daisy beating the crap out of Schezo. Daisy had dragged Schezo inside the mansion and was beating him up with her frying pan, while those who were outside looked on.
"Yes, lady, show him who's boss!" N. Gin cheered for Daisy, getting a little too hyper. Fox and Falco had to restrain the cyborg from getting involved. "Beat his head in!"
"Back off N. Gin, you're acting like Deanna is your child!" Cortex commanded the cyborg, as Ike and Soren ran over to the scene. It looked like nobody wanted to mess with Daisy, in the current state she was in.
"Woah, woah, woah, what's going on here?" Ike asked those watching the senseless beatdown, wishing he had a cellphone to record on. "Why is Daisy beating up that guy?"
"That guy tried to kidnap Daisy's daughter," Link explained to Ike, as Soren had his hands covered over his head while Daisy continued to hit him with her frying pan. "He's been looking for magic all day, and his search led to...yeah."
"Magic, huh? Funny you should mention that, because my good friend Soren has all the magic anyone could ever need!"
"I beg your pardon?" a bruised and battered Schezo asked Ike, as he looked up at the swordsman; Daisy ceased her beating, as she too looked at Ike.
"Yeah, Soren's a wind sage, so he's got plenty of magic for sale! And, well...for free. Why don't you give our friend some magic, Soren?"
"...I'll see what I can do," replied Soren; the wind sage didn't have much magic on him at the moment, but it was better than nothing for Schezo.
With no Mario around as his backup, Waluigi was left with no choice but to speak with Ryo by himself, and apologize for his actions. Ryo was back at the Pokemon sanctuary, sparring with Akuma.
"Waluigi seriously flirted with your sister?" Akuma asked Ryo, having a very casual conversation with the fighter as their fight continued. "What is wrong with him?!"
"I have no idea what had gotten into him," replied Ryo as he delivered a kick to Akuma, who dodged the kick with a quick shift of his head. "His comments came out of nowhere."
"If I were you, I'd uppercut Waluigi straight up, on the spot. You can't let a guy like him get away with what he did."
"I'll be keeping a close eye on him. No one, and I mean no one, flirts with Yuri and gets away with it."
"Ryo...I'm back..." said Waluigi, as he was standing by; Ryo and Akuma paused their fight, as they both looked at Waluigi.
"Back again, huh?" Ryo cracked his fingers as he confronted Waluigi, who stood his ground. "Got something you want to say to me?"
Yuri: Still creeped out that Waluigi tried to flirt with me. He's such a hideous-looking man - he looks like a sexual predator and a pedophile, and I don't know which distinction he fits more. He might be both...
"After what I did today, I have some amends to make..." Waluigi said to Ryo, hoping that the fighter would hear him out. Otherwise it wasn't gonna end pretty for him.
"What amends are we talking about here?" questioned Ryo, furrowing his brow and folding his arms as he stared down Waluigi. "About Yuri, I assume?"
"Yes...I was in the wrong for what I did, and I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done what I did to your sister Yuri, and I deeply regret my actions."
"And why should I believe you? How do I know you aren't just saving face?"
"I'm being genuinely honest, okay? This thing has been eating away at my soul. From now on, I will pledge to no longer fall in love with women!"
"Okay okay, you don't have to go that far...if it means that much to you, I'll accept your apology. Just don't go chasing after Yuri, or King, and it'll be alright between the two of us."
"You got it, Ryo! So...friends?" Waluigi held out his fist to Ryo for a fist bump, and Ryo...would deliver a fist bump to Waluigi, in the form of a punch, as he sent Waluigi to the floor.
"Heh...just couldn't help yourself," Akuma smirked at Ryo as Waluigi laid on the floor, somehow amazed that he was still alive.
"Had to get that one out of my system." Ryo laughed, and Akuma laughed along with him. And Waluigi, although he was in some pain...laughed with Ryo and Akuma. Seemed like he and Ryo were now on friendly terms.
Soren, being the awesome wind sage that he was (or as Ike described him), offered some of his magic to Schezo. It wasn't a lot of magic, but Schezo was satisfied regardless.
"Don't worry Deanna we're coming to save...you," shouted Toon LInk as the buddy cops arrived at the foyer, only to come to a stop when they saw Deanna in Daisy's arms.
"Looks like she's back with her mom, safe and sound," assumed Young Link, seeing how motherly Daisy was cradling Deanna. "The day has been saved!"
"Yeah, but Cortex still remains at large...let's go see if his minions are up to any good." So the buddy cops went back up the stairs, knowing that their job was not yet finished.
"Much appreciated, good sir!" Schezo thanked Soren, after the magic transaction that took place in the foyer was finished. Ike and the others were looking on, with Ike very proud of his boy.
"It was the least I could do," responded Soren, before looking at Ike and seeing how much the swordsman was beaming with pride. "I take it you'll be on your way now?"
"I'm satisfied with what I have, so yes, I'll be leaving." Schezo turned to the three swordsmen - Link, Cloud, and Champion Link. "Thank you for your assistance, you three."
"Uh, sure man," replied Cloud, who like Link and Champion Link was glad that Schezo wouldn't bother him anymore. "Finally, the nightmare is over..."
"A nightmare, you say? That would imply that I'm sleeping, and that you all are sleeping, too. And we are definitely not sleeping together."
"...okay have a good-a day!" Mario said to Schezo, as he grabbed the dark mage and shoved him out of the mansion. The plumber let out a sigh of relief, after he saved everyone from Schezo's constant barrage of innuendos.
"Good riddance, that man almost messed up my plans!" frowned Cortex, before directing his attention to Daisy who was holding Deanna. "Speaking of plans...can I have your baby, Princess Daisy, for my photoshoot?"
"Give me one good reason why I should..." Daisy requested of Cortex, refusing to give up Deanna after three of Cortex's minions asked for the infant.
"I can help you plant flowers in your garden...got some oxeye daisies that I've been looking to get rid of." Daisy's mind was swayed in an instant.
"You get one scratch on her...and you're dead," Daisy warned Cortex as she handed Deanna to the evil genius. And once Deanna was in Cortex's hands...she started crying.
"D'oh! I was afraid this would happen. Hopefully she'll stop crying once we take the picture."
Cortex: Empty promises work all the time, but only when you're a candidate. Gotta keep my fingers crossed that Daisy forgets about those daisies...
N. Gin: Hey, Dr. Cortex, hehehe...that mage guy sure was a weirdo, wasn't he?
Cortex: Like you're the one to talk...
Unfortunately for Cortex, Deanna was still crying, as the evil genius took the picture with Fox and Falco in the gardens. Cortex asked the cameraman to snap multiple photos, in the hopes that Deanna would stop crying, but it didn't work. Mario, Daisy, and Krystal all saw the photoshoot, not surprised that Deanna was reduced to tears.
"Here's your daughter back..." Cortex said to Daisy, giving the princess her daughter back. With the picture finally taken, Fox went over to speak with Krystal.
"So glad that's over..." Fox said to Krystal, as Deanna's crying eventually came to a stop. "...stupid Cortex taking some stupid baby picture."
"Don't know why you're so bent out of shape," Krystal smirked at Fox. "Soon you'll be taking more baby pictures, with our first child..."
"Say WHAT?" questioned a very astonished Mario, as he and the others overheard the conversation. The plumber looked towards Falco, who kept his mouth pursed as he left the gardens.
"Way to let the cat out of the bag, Krystal..." grumbled Fox, who wasn't quite ready to make the big announcement. ."...so much for keeping it a secret."
Toon Link: Everyone on his planet is complicit - from the old lady resting at the retirement home, to a newborn baby fresh out of their mother's womb. Hutch and I view every breathing creature as a criminal.
Young Link: The people in this mansion are no different - they likely knew about Cortex's dark secret, but were too afraid to tell us or Master Hand about it. Those people will get theirs later, but we're laser-focused on Cortex right now.
Toon Link: Cortex is gonna regret he ever did illegal activities in the same building as the buddy cops...and his minions, well, they'll just have to share their boss' punishment!
Waluigi had already apologized to Ryo for his actions earlier, and he felt the need to apologize to Ryo's little sister, Yuri. So the lanky man managed to find Yuri in the foyer, before she could leave the mansion, and apologize to her.
"I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable," Waluigi said to Yuri, showing the fighter how genuinely apologetic he felt. "I just got...a little in over my head."
"Well you are a very passionate man...even if you go about it the wrong way," remarked Yuri, and even Waluigi couldn't deny that he had a lot of passion inside of him. "Just don't make the same mistake again, alright?"
"I already promised myself that I wouldn't...maintaining that promise is gonna be the hard part."
"Man, I'm glad we got that whole situation sorted out," Ryo quietly discussed with Mario, chilling on the staircase with the plumber and watching as Yuri left the mansion.
"Same; Waluigi couldn't hold-a his feelings in any longer," nodded Mario, satisfied that he took the time to help out Waluigi. "Better out-a than in, as I always say!"
"You honestly believe that Waluigi would ever find a girlfriend? I want to say yes, but the guy sure loves shooting himself in the foot..."
"That is true, I'm afraid...but Waluigi still has-a some potential. Not in terms-a of finding love, per se, but other things."
"Potential, eh? Well whatever this potential is, I'd sure would love to see it..."