Author's Note:
Hello, everyone, I sually don't do stuff like this, but...I just wanted to talk about the last chapter. There were things that I wanted to take away from it, and things that I wanted to add. Things that I left out, but couldn't put in the chapter because I was in such a rush. But it is what is, and the chapter is published, so...there's nothing I can do to change it. Except maybe for a possible rewrite. Either way, I wasn't too happy with how chapter 248 turned out, but there's always room for improvement.
Anyways...this is the third buddy cop chapter this year. There will be fourth one before the end of 2020, but you'll have this one to enjoy. So...enjoy.
Episode 250: Killer
Toon Link: In the criminal justice system, offences outside of Smash battles are especially considered heinous. In Seattle, at the Smash Mansion, the dedicated police officers who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite squad known as the LPU, the Link Patrol Unit. These are their stories.
Young Link: DUN DUUUUN!
During his campaign for man of the mansion, Cortex put his trust in his VP, Dr. Nitrous Brio - someone he had known since his days at the Academy of Evil. Brio did all sorts of things to help Cortex - he helped with his advertising campaign, his speech, and even a song that was supposed to brainwash the search committee into naming Cortex the man of the mansion. Needless to say, it didn't work.
On the flipside, however, Brio had his own ambitions to become the mansion's alpha male, and he did whatever was necessary to reach his goal. After framing Cortex and getting the evil genius removed from the mansion, Brio sought to take the helm as man of the mansion...only for his plan to get foiled.
After Brio got booted from the mansion, and Cortex opted to take some time away from the mansion (with Pit also taking time off for solidarity), Cloud had accepted the man of the mansion role, after Link passed on the duties to him. Cloud had enjoyed his first full week as the mansion's top dog, doing things like managing finances, solving problems between the residents, and even massaging Master Hand. That was one thing Cloud wasn't looking forward to doing.
"Mr. Strife...Mr. Strife!" Isabelle called out to the swordsman, who was busy inspecting a strange spot on the wall in the hallway. Isabelle ran up to Cloud, almost out of breath. "I just wanted to know what movie you'd like to watch, for movie night."
"Oh, movie night is tonight?" Cloud asked Isabelle, as he looked away from the spot on the wall; he assumed that the spot came from Wario, after some deductive reasoning. "I thought Rosalina was supposed to be in charge."
"Technically she is, but you decide the movie. Rosalina handles everything else." Very rarely did Cloud attend movie night, and the only times he did attend was when Aerith forced him to.
"What's a movie that's out right now...Tenet...Infidel...some X-Men movie..." As Cloud continued to think, Isabelle had her head cocked to the side.
"Sorry to disturb you, Cloud, but those movies are still in theaters. We can't pirate movies...we don't want the police coming to the mansion again, after that 1917 incident."
"Geno's fault for wanting to be a snitch...eh, I'd say go with a Disney film. You can't really go wrong with those." Right you are, Cloud, right you are.
"Okay then. I'll make sure to let Rosalina know!" And with that, Isabelle ran down the hallway, leaving Cloud alone. Now that he was the man of the mansion, Cloud would be speaking with Isabelle a lot more often than before...not that Cloud minded, of course. He always considered Isabelle to be one of the "tolerable" ones.
Cloud: Took me about a few days to get settled into my new role, as man of the mansion. Wouldn't say that it's a tough act to follow, following in the footsteps of Mario, but it's just something that I have to do. On the plus side, I'm gaining more respect around the mansion, and the folks that used to bother me have left me alone...I sure hope to keep things that way.
Link: Pretty noble what I did, passing up my opportunity as man of the mansion just so Cloud could get the gig. Zelda felt some type of way about it, since she wanted the two of us to rule over the mansion together, but since it was Cloud she didn't feel all too bitter. Besides, I could never be the man of the mansion, after I gave some thought about it - I'd have to handle everyone's business day in and day out. Imagine if I had to help Wario get his wallet out of his anus...that happened to me more than once, sadly.
"Cloud Strife, my main man!" exclaimed Master Hand, as he magically appeared next to Cloud in the hallway. Having to put up with Master Hand more often was something that Cloud didn't look forward to.
"Hi Master Hand..." Cloud greeted the giant hand with a heavy sigh, sounding as unenthusiastic as he knew how. He wished that Isabelle was still around, to save him. "...what have you come to bother me about this time?"
"Oh, nothing - just wanted to say how happy I am that you're the man of the mansion. Not some dorky knight, like Chrom, or some lousy Pokemon like Lucario."
"If you didn't want either Chrom or Lucario...then why did you name them as candidates? Don't tell me that you're showing regret, Master Hand." Master Hand showing a hint of remorse would be very much unlike him.
"But you know? It's great that the man of the mansion is a fit fellow, and not a fat slob like Mario. Heck, I'm surprised at how Mario is able to carry all that weight around!"
"I mean, he's not that fat...you're acting like he's a human King Dedede. Do you have anything worth telling me, Master Hand, or did you come here just to act like an obsessed fangirl?"
"Fine, I'm leaving...even with authority, you still are Mr. Moodypants. Disgusting..." Master Hand vanished away, as Cloud went down the hallway. As the swordsman walked, he eventually came across two youngsters who have always considered Cloud an ally of theirs...
...Toon Link and Young Link. And given his new authority role, Cloud would have to deal with the buddy cops a lot more than usual. The swordsman would rather take Master Hand.
"Congratulations, again, on being the new man of the mansion, honorary sheriff!" Toon Link congratulated Cloud, as he and Young Link gave the swordsman a salute. "As an honor, Hutch and I have decided to promote you from honorary sheriff, to deputy sheriff!"
"Uh, thanks, you two, I really appreciate it," replied Cloud with little to no excitement. A few seconds later, the buddy cops got down on one knee, kneeling in front of Cloud. "Okay, what are you doing now?"
"What is thy bidding, Deputy Sheriff Cloud?" Young Link asked Cloud, exhibiting the kind of behavior that Corrin did in public whenever he came across an Emperor Palpatine look-alike.
"Do...do actual police officers act like this?" Feeling offended, the buddy cops angrily looked up at Cloud, giving him angry scowls. "What I meant to say, was...why are you acting like this?"
"Because as police officers, we are to do whatever you, the deputy sheriff, command us to do," explained Toon Link, as Cloud now wished that he was an honorary sheriff again. "It's as simple as that, Mr. Strife."
"Correct, we'll do literally anything you tell us to," affirmed Young Link, who would love nothing more than to do Cloud's budding. "Save a cat from a tree, break up a street fight involving guns, end world hunger...you name it."
"Alright then, here's something you boys can do..." said Cloud, as the buddy cops quickly stood up with excited faces as they leaned in close to Cloud. "...why don't you two walk away, and leave me alone?"
"That doesn't sound like a command," replied a confused Toon Link, who was expecting more. He was expecting a challenge, a puzzle to solve. "Could you be more specific?"
"Be more specific, huh? I'll bite. When you hear the phrase 'leave me alone'...who is the first person that comes to mind?"
"Ooh, a riddle...I like where this is going," gleamed Young Link, rubbing his hands together as he and Toon Link put on their thinking caps. "Who is the most bothered person in the mansion?"
"It would have to be someone who is easily irritated," assumed Toon Link; he had a lot of choices to pick from that particular category. "Samus is the kind of lady who gets annoyed whenever someone breathes."
"Or it could be someone who is very antisocial. Ninjara is a very antisocial dude - sometimes I forget that he's ever here!"
"Easy for you to say...I have to remind myself of Ninjara's actual existence. What if the person of the hour is someone antisocial, and easily irritated?"
"A double offense, eh? That really narrows down our choices..." The buddy cops would put their thinking caps together, and then soon, the same name entered their heads at the same time.
"...DARK SAMUS!" the buddy cops shouted the name together, pointing at each other. Then they laughed their butts off, laughing at how much perfect synergy they had.
"Of course it's Dark Samus, it has to be her," said Toon Link, taking the time to realize how much Dark Samus fit the criteria. "She's so anti-social, you never even hear her talk!"
"Yeah, and you can really tell how annoyed she is by everyone else," added Young Link, as Toon Link nodded his head in agreement. "I have no idea how she's able to hold it all in."
"True dat...it's truly a work of art. Thank you for the lead, Deputy Sheriff...Cloud?" Toon Link looked up, and saw that Cloud had already left.
"Amazing, the man just vanished like it was nothing..." marveled Young Link, grabbing his hands in the air where Cloud stood and felt nothing. "...that Materia works in strange ways."
Cloud: That should keep the buddy cops away from me...for the time being. Saldy I can't outright remove them from the mansion, but I can just take their badges away. If Master Hand would let me. But I am an alpha male now, so...I can do what I want. *pauses* Great, now I sound like a moody teenager...don't even call me Mr. Moodypants.
It was hard for anyone to gauge Dark Samus - after all, Dark Samus was just a Phazon who was incapable of speaking. The only thing she could do verbally was laughing evilly. Given that she had her helmet on her head at all times, anyone rarely saw Dark Samus' face, and could tell how the Phazon felt.
Toon Link and Young Link didn't know yet what they had to do with Dark Samus, since Cloud's "command" was quite ambiguous, but they assumed that Dark Samus was likely up to no good. They had their own reasons to justify their assumptions.
"What if Cloud really didn't vanish?" Toon Link discussed with Young Link in the arcade room, with Young Link considering the thought as he scratched his chin. "What if Dark Samus kidnapped him, and took him to outer space?"
"A resident kidnapping another resident...that's unheard of," replied Young Link, wondering what kind of business Dark Samus would even want with Cloud. "Which must mean that it obviously happened."
"Dark Samus must've been lurking around when Cloud gave us that riddle. She kidnapped Cloud only because he was spilling the beans!"
"Right! She's just worried about being punished by Cloud. I guess for her, it's better to kidnap the man of the mansion, than to..."
"You stupid kids...Cloud wasn't kidnapped by Dark Samus," Ninjara told the buddy cops as he walked by, slurping some noodles. Min Min forced the noodles on him. "In fact, I saw Cloud heading down to the kitchen a few minutes ago."
"Dark Samus is taking Cloud to the kitchen?!" panicked Young Link, as Ninjara sighed and walked away; in that moment Ninjara knew that reasoning with the buddy cops was nothing more than a lost cause.
"She must be trying to stuff him to the fridge, and locking him inside!" fretted Toon Link, as he and Young Link quickly rushed to action. "Hurry, Hutch, before it's too late!"
"He probably left already, for all we know," Ninjara said to the buddy cops as they ran out of the arcade room, before sighing yet again. "Couldn't pay me enough to be that delusional..."
The buddy cops hurried down to the kitchen, hoping to catch Dark Samus in time before the Phazon threw Cloud inside the fridge and trapped him inside. Instead, they found Palutena, who was cooking some revolting food that the residents would have to eat for dinner later.
"I saw Cloud going into the fridge, and grabbing a smoothie," Palutena explained to the buddy cops, who were listening attentively as Young Link was writing down notes on his notepad. "After he did that, he left the kitchen and...that was it."
"Any chance that Dark Samus was with him?" asked Toon Link; Dark Samus rarely ate food anyways, so she had absolutely no business being in the kitchen in the first place.
"Nope, just Cloud...I hardly ever see Dark Samus in the kitchen, honestly. Funny how she manages to get by without eating anything!"
"Perhaps Dark Samus cloaked herself with an invisible cloak, before kidnapping Cloud and taking him away," Young Link discussed with Toon Link, as Palutena gave an amused smile. "What if she wanted to lock Cloud inside a place other than the pantry?"
"Invisible cloak? What do you think this is, Harry Potter? You boys are so silly..."
Palutena: Poor Cloud - ever since he became the mansion's new head man, Toon Link and Young Link feel like their jobs (and their lives) are indebted to him. Cloud could tell those boys to do anything, and they would do it without hesitation; he could tell them to burn town the Assist Tower, and they'd do it in a heartbeat! Wonder if Cloud could ask the Links to leave the mansion forever...some people would be happy with that outcome.
"This is no laughing matter, Lady Palutena," Toon Link sternly told the goddess of light, quick to notice the amused look on her face. "Dark Samus has many ulterior motives up her sleeve - kidnapping Cloud just so happens to be one of them!"
"Toon Link, Young Link, you gotta help me..." Little Mac said to the buddy cops, running inside the kitchen as Palutena resumed her cooking. "...I have a problem on my hands."
"Sorry, Little Mac, but you're gonna have to wait," Young Link said to the boxer, who was looking very scared and timid as he looked around. "We have a problem ourselves; Cloud was kidnapped by Dark Samus."
"Well the problem I have is even bigger than that. This might be a huge shock to you, but...there's someone out there that wants to kill me."
"Dark Samus wants to kill you?!" gasped Toon Link, as Dark Samus had all the makings of being the biggest criminal the buddy cops ever arrested. "When will that alien's reign of terror come to an end?!"
"Can you shut up and let me explain? The person that wants to kill me isn't someone from inside this mansion. It's an outside threat."
"Then the perpetrator has to be someone from the tower. Shadow is constantly ticked off by everyone; he must want to take out his frustration on you."
"But why me? I never did anything to him. Also, why wait until now to kill someone out of anger?"
"Shadow is a misunderstood guy, don't you know?" Young Link asked Little Mac, asking the boxer as if he didn't know what Shadow was all about. "With other normal sociopaths, it's easy to see their next plan of action. They're predictable. With Shadow being the misunderstood edgelord that he is, you can't tell what he's gonna do next!"
"Okay, but again, why would he want to kill me? Sounds like you boys just want a lousy excuse so you can arrest Shadow."
"We'd love to arrest everyone in the mansion AND tower, if we could," confessed Toon Link, not at all hiding his inner ambitions. He and Young Link would need a lot more jail cells. "But we have no choice but to keep things fair."
"Yeah...so are you fellas gonna help me or not? I can't deal with this on my own...I have no idea who's trying to kill me!"
"Starsky and I can put our investigation on Dark Samus on hold, for you," Young Link said to Little Mac, as he and Toon Link had another case to crack. "Frankly, Cloud will have to wait a bit longer..."
The buddy cops brought Little Mac to their police station, to go into detail about the person that supposedly wanted to kill the young boxer. Toon Link and Young Link had placed pictures of suspects on their board - Dark Samus as "Silent But Deadly", Shadow as "the OG Edgelord", Byleth as "Too Hot for Teacher", Luigi as "Skinny Mario", and many others.
"Some of those people don't deserve to be on this board," Little Mac offered his two cents to the buddy cops, who were busy prepping the interrogation table. "Why are Byleth and Luigi on here?"
"We like to keep our options as open as possible," explained Toon Link, turning on a lamplight on the interrogation table as Young Link closed the bedroom curtains. "We had to include some of our neighbors, just to be fair."
"Come and take a seat, Little Mac..." Young Link said to the boxer, bringing his attention to the open chair at the interrogation table. Little Mac sat down in the chair, hoping that the buddy cops' interrogation wouldn't be a waste of his time.
"First things first..." Toon Link started things off, taking out a pen and a piece of paper. "...tell us your full name. We only need this for our records."
"Uh, my full name is...Little Mac," answered Little Mac; maybe he did have an actual full name, but he only kept it to himself. Must be something embarrassing.
"Just Little Mac, huh? No middle name? I bet you think of yourself as pretty special, Little Mac..."
"Let's pause for a moment...why am I the one being interrogated? Shouldn't you save this stuff for, I don't know, the person that wants to kill me?!"
"We don't even know who the killer is, that's why we're interrogating you," explained Young Link, as Little Mac grunted and slammed his forehead on the interrogation table. "Also, you're Italian, so this kind of stuff must be right up your alley."
"What did I do to deserve this crap..." If Little Mac was so scared for his life, he should've taken his dilemma up with actual police officers. Would save him some time - and some of his sanity.
"Yo, Little Mac, you in there man?" Doc Louis asked Little Mac from outside the police station, as he banged on the door. "You haven't forgotten about our sparring practice, right?"
Doc Louis: I don't give a rat's behind about whoever wants to kill Little Mac...they're gonna regret the poor decision they make, once they get a good look at me! One big smack to the face oughta send him cryin' back to their momma. And if it's a woman...then she's gonna get the same thing! Forget those double standards!
"I have a thought - what if Doc Louis is the killer?" theorized Young Link, with Toon Link looking on with intrigue while Little Mac looked puzzled. "He might be looking for a new protege..."
"Has some merit...but we can't outright accuse Doc Louis," replied Toon Link, as Doc Louis banged on the door waiting for a response from Little Mac. "At least not this year. Or in today's climate."
"If Doc Louis wanted a new protege, then he would just tell me," Little Mac told the buddy cops, knowing that Doc Louis wasn't that extreme enough to kill someone. "I could take it...I think I could take it."
"You in there or not, Little Mac?" Doc Louis asked the young boxer, who received a text notification on his phone. "Answer me boy - don't leave your man hanging!"
"Woah, I just got a text from my killer!" Little Mac recognized the phone number, and it had a local area code...meaning that the killer was lurking around in Seattle. "This isn't good."
"Well what does it say?" asked Toon Link, as Little Mac pulled up the text message on his phone. The buddy cops drew closer to Little Mac, both of them all ears.
"'Come find me...or I'll have to find you...meet me in the jungle, near I-90...come and get these hands...or else...peace out, sucka.'" Once Little Mac finished reading the text message, the buddy cops slowly came to terms with what they were going up against.
"This is unlike anything we've ever done before..." said Toon Link, who was ready to take on the challenge at hand. "...we're about to put an actual killer behind bars! This would be huge for our careers!"
"Think of all the clout we could get," Young Link said to Toon Link, unable to contain most of his excitement as he was smiling from ear to ear. "The residents would actually respect us!"
"One problem though - how are we gonna put Dark Samus and Little Mac's killer behind bars? We can't put too much focus on one criminal, and completely ignore the other."
"Isn't planning to kill someone a bigger offense than kidnapping?" Little Mac asked the buddy cops, trying to get their priorities straight. "Dark Samus can wait till later."
"You're right - it's not like she has any plans to kill Cloud. She's only interested in kidnapping."
"Aight, Little Mac, I'm tired of waiting..." Doc Louis called out to the young boxer, his patience almost running out. "...I'm gonna bust inside, and you better not fight back once I yank your butt outta there!"
"Here's what we'll do - Young Link, you go with Little Mac, and find the bozo that wants to kill Little Mac. I'll hunt down Dark Samus, bring her to justice, and rescue Cloud."
"Sounds like a plan," said Young Link, as he bumped fists with Toon Link. "Two heads are better than one!"
Doc Louis was about to roundhouse kick the door to the police station down, but the door would be spared when Little Mac and the buddy cops finally left the police station. Upon seeing Little Mac, Doc Louis gave his protege a big, fat hug.
"Oh, thank goodness you're innocent!" Doc Louis said to Little Mac, alleviating his hold on the young boxer when he started gasping for air. "I was afraid that those boys had arrested you, and I had to get ya out of custody."
"No worries, Doc Louis, I'm not getting arrested...at least not today," assured Little Mac, allowing the oxygen to find its way back inside his lungs. "The buddy cops and I were just...discussing some things. It's all good."
"A guy in Seattle wants to kill Little Mac..." Young Link said to Doc Louis, only for Toon Link to cover his partner's mouth. But it was too late; Young Link had told Doc Louis all that he needed to know.
"A killer in Seattle, huh? And he's got his eyes set on my protege?" Doc Louis tore off his red jacket, revealing his cheetah-patterned shirt underneath. Had that shirt on all the time, for moments like these. "If they wanna get to Little Mac, they have to go through ME first!"
"Really, Doc Louis, again? The cheetah shirt?" a certain swordsman said to the boxing trainer, as Cloud showed up, smoothie in hand. The buddy cops looked at the swordsman with astonished faces. "Let me guess - the Duck Hunt Dog stole your chocolate bar again?"
"Cloud, you're okay!" exclaimed Young Link, happy to see that Cloud was alive and well. Cloud appreciated Young Link's sentiments, but only for a mere three seconds. "Starsky and I both thought that you were..."
"Hold that thought, Hutch, something's up!" Toon Link alerted Young Link, pulling the Hylian back before he could run up to Cloud. "You really think that Dark Samus would let Cloud get away scot-free? A criminal like Dark Samus never lets their prey escape unscathed."
"You're right, you're right...this here is a ghost of Cloud Strife." If Cloud had it in him, he would be smiling at the buddy cop's idiosyncrasy. "Dark Samus after she kidnapped Cloud, killed him once he was vulnerable enough."
"A ghost, huh?" Cloud furrowed his brow, folding his arms as he made sense of the buddy cops. "If I'm a ghost..then how are you able to see me?"
"That's a good question..." replied Young Link, before looking towards Little Mac. "...Little Mac, can I borrow your phone?" Little Mac reluctantly handed his phone over to Young Link, who took a selfie of himself with Cloud in the background.
"What exactly is that picture supposed to prove?" inquired Cloud, as the buddy cops analyzed the selfie together. Both of them gasped at what they saw.
"I can't believe it...Cloud is still in the picture!" exclaimed Toon Link, as he saw Cloud standing in the background, in the flesh. "This ghost of Cloud must be an entirely different ghost from the ones we've arrested before."
"You two arrest ghosts...now that I think of it, that doesn't sound too far off." Young Link gave Little Mac back his phone, before he and Toon Link further inspected Cloud.
"Can you physically touch him?" Young Link asked Toon Link, who proceeded to stroke his hand up and down Cloud's arm. Young Link would do the same, amazed that his hand wasn't going through Cloud's body.
"Okay, you boys can stop that now..." Cloud said to the buddy cops, who ignored the swordsman as they rubbed their hands all over his body. "...this is making me feel very uncomfortable."
"This ghost is unlike any other ghost we've ever seen!" marveled Toon Link, now rubbing Cloud's legs, as Little Mac and Doc Louis found themselves amused by the buddy cops' behavior. It was hard not to laugh at Cloud's discomfort.
"Yeah, that's good and all...but there's someone out there still trying to kill me," Little Mac reminded the buddy cops, who immediately stopped touching Cloud. Much to Cloud's delight.
"Let those boys have their fun with the 'ghost', Mac," Doc Louis said to Little Mac, wrapping his arm around the young boxer. "Your trusty boxing trainer is gonna teach this killer a lesson!"
"No, Doc Louis, your fatness would only hold you back," Toon Link said to the boxing trainer, triggering him greatly with his comment. "Young Link's got it all covered..."
Doc Louis: My boy Little Mac is about to get killed, and I'm supposed to put my trust in the buddy cops to make sure that Mac stays alive...well, all I can say is, it was a pleasure training Little Mac all those years! Really gonna miss that fella.
Toon Link remained at the mansion, with the "ghost of Cloud", while Young Link went with Little Mac to search for Little Mac's killer. The Hylian headed towards the I-90 highway with Little Mac, before coming to a stop when he heard his stomach grumbling.
"What's the matter?" Little Mac asked Young Link, who was left clutching his stomach. "Forgot to eat some malasadas before we came out here?"
"That one apple I ate this morning sure didn't last that long..." replied Young Link - well what was he expecting? So much for having a complete breakfast. "...thought that apple was more than enough. At least for staying away from the doctor."
"I see a McDonald's up ahead, wanna grab a bite there?" Little Mac saw a McDonald's, only a few feet away from where he was standing. Young Hylian looked at the McDonald's, not sure if it was legit or not.
"Is that really a McDonalds? Go inside and ask them if their ice cream machine is working." So Little Mac headed inside the McDonald's, and came out twenty seconds later. "Well?"
"They said that their ice cream machine is working just fine! Said they haven't run into any problems since this summer."
"Then that's obviously not a McDonald's. It's a fake one. It might be McDonald's on the outside, but on the inside it's probably a trap house with toddlers running about."
"That...sounds pretty illegal." Just then, Little Mac received a text notification, and would you know it, it was from his killer. The young boxer read the message that was sent. "Apparently my killer wants me to bring him some lunch...preferably some McDonald's."
"He'll just have to settle with this trap house McDonald's right here..." Young Link was about to enter the McDonald's, before gasping as a sudden realization came over him. "...wait! How does he know that we're at this McDonald's?"
"Well he said that he preferred McDonald's...it's not like he knows that we're here." If there was anything that Little Mac should know, it was that using logic with either one of the buddy cops was but a futile effort.
"Yes, that might be true, but he's trying to create the allusion that knows our every move, our every location, every thought that comes into our mind..."
"Okay, Young Link, let's make one thing clear...I don't think my killer is some kind of all-knowing psychic. He's probably just a homeless guy, threatening to kill me..."
"He wants you to think he's a homeless guy. When in reality, he's a powerful psychic capable of taking over the entire world! Him being a homeless guy might be an act."
"You know what, forget it...let's get this man some food." Little Mac hurried inside the McDonald's, as he wanted to be done with his killer and Little Mac at the earliest convenience. Young Link followed the boxer inside.
Dark Samus was chilling, as she was in the gaming room minding her own business. Spying on the Phazon behind a couch were Toon Link and Cloud, who watched closely as Dark Samus was...sitting on a couch...doing nothing...just sitting there.
"Look at all the bad mojo radiating from that woman!" seethed Toon Link, believing that Dark Samus was committing horrible crimes against humanity just by sitting quietly on the couch. "It's infectious, I tell you..."
"That's funny, because I hardly feel infected..." remarked Cloud, who felt no sort of bad mojo over his body. "...so what's our plan of action, Toon Link?"
"Before we go into our plan, I must ask you a question - how did Dark Samus kill you, and where did she kill you at?"
"She killed me with a pair of tweezers; it was brutal and painful at the same time." Toon Link couldn't believe that Dark Samus would do such a violent act, as he gasped and covered his mouth with his hands. "Killed me in the ball pit, and left my dead body in there so it could waste."
Cloud: One thing about the buddy cops is, you could tell a story that sounds so unbelievable and fabricated to a normal person, but to Toon Link and Young Link it's a true crime story. Provided you use the right words and details. Nana claimed that Pop was kidnapped by some unicorn wearing a poncho, and those buddy cops went down to Mexico through the teleportation device to look for said unicorn. Turns out that the unicorn was in Nana's dreams, and Popo was protesting at some creamery the whole time while the buddy cops were south of the border.
"Where did she stick the tweezers, up your nose?" inquired Toon Link; Dark Samus could've reached Cloud's brain with such a method.
"Yes, up my nose...and through my navel," replied Cloud as Toon Link gasped once more. Cloud found himself slightly amused at how much Toon Link was believing his story. "That's how she reached my stomach, and punctured it."
"Ah, there-a you are, Cloud!" greeted Mario as he came inside the gaming room. "How's the new man-a of the mansion handling himself? Also, why are you and-a Toon Link hiding behind that couch?"
"Don't be fooled, Mario - this is actually a ghost of Cloud," Toon Link said to the plumber, who wanted to laugh but held it in. "The Cloud you knew and loved was brutally murdered, by the evil Dark Samus."
"How can-a he be a ghost, when his body's not phasing through?" Mairo went over to Cloud, and touched his shoulder. "And why can I physically touch-a him?"
"This is a different ghost - this ghost is just built different. Also, you've jumped on ghosts before, so who are you to talk about touching ghosts?"
"Touche...but I'm not convinced-a that this is a ghost. Cloud was literally named-a man of the mansion just a week ago!"
"Black Panther was named king of Wakanda, and still got snapped out of existence by Thanos like a month or two later. Death doesn't care about when you get some fancy title!"
"Wow, Dark Samus, you're sure looking pretty bored right now!" Shulk said to the Phazon, as Toon Link looked behind the couch and gasped. "Wanna join me and Dunban for some..."
"No Shulk, don't do it!" Toon Link frantically ran over to the Homs, standing in front of the couch Dark Samus was sitting on with his arms out. "Dark Samus killed Cloud, and she could very well do the same thing to you!"
"Dark Samus would never kill Cloud, even if she wanted to," stated Dunban as he came over while holding a pool stick. "Why, she could barely even kill a housefly!"
"You don't believe me? Well how do you explain THAT?!" Toon Link pointed aggressively at Cloud, who awkwardly stood up from behind the couch he was hiding behind. Cloud looked at Shulk and Dunban, who were both confused, and gave them a two-finger salute.
"Cloud is clearly alive and well. What exactly are you trying to prove, Toon Link?" Seeing that he had no other way to prove that Cloud was a ghost, Toon Link was stuck in a rock and a hard place.
"All I know for a fact is that Dark Samus killed someone, okay?! A huge shame, since she would never admit to her senseless murder..."
"Only because she can't even talk," Shulk pointed out, making Toon Link look foolish. Toon Link didn't like it when someone made him look like a fool.
"Doesn't mean a thing...I'll prove it to you." Toon Link confronted Dark Samus, mean muggin' the Phazon and hoping that she felt intimidated underneath her helmet. "Dark Samus, is it true that you killed Cloud Strife, with a pair of tweezers?"
"This is so sad-a to watch, yet so entertaining..." Mario said to Cloud, as Toon Link waited patiently for a response from Dark Samus. Many seconds passed, and Dark Samus, predictably, did not say a word.
"Aha! Dark Samus didn't even deny the crime she committed, so therefore she did kill Cloud. Now you must apologize to the ghost of Cloud, Dark Samus, for your heinous crime!"
"I don't think that would be necessary..." said Cloud as he came from around the couch, not willing to see Toon Link further embarrass himself. "...what we need, is an interrogation."
"Yeah! An interrogation that will take us deep into the mind of Dark Samus, and show us her true intentions for why she killed you, Cloud. Brilliant thinking!"
"You keep Dark Samus contained or something, I'll be right back." Cloud headed out of the gaming room, needing one important piece of equipment before the interrogation started. "Wonder if Samus is busy..."
Samus: I totally don't mind making voice devices for the residents. Like the one I made for Mr. Game and Watch. But I do have a few exceptions - or one exception, rather. Take a guess as to who that exception is.
Young Link and Little Mac were walking down to I-90, with the latter bringing a McDonald's bag with him. What did Little Mac order? A quarter pounder, French fries with barbecue sauce, and a cup of Sprite soda. Basically the Travis Scott meal.
"Little Mac, I regret to tell you this, but...we might've gotten the wrong meal," Young Link regrettably informed Little Mac, who dreaded the thought of heading back to fix the order. Those McDonald's workers gave Little Mac a hard time...
"But you said to get the Travis Scott meal, right?" asked Little Mac, before taking out the quarter pounder that was in the bag. "I see nothing out of the ordinary."
"How do we know if the quarter pounder actually weighs a quarter? Very misleading marketing ploy, if you ask me."
"The burger patty weighs a quarter of a pound...doesn't weigh as much as an actual quarter. Otherwise it would make for a pretty depressing burger."
"Moreover, isn't the meal supposed to be 'lit'? What context of lit are we talking about here? Is the burger supposed to be on fire? Or is it meant to make you intoxicated?"
"Hold that thought, Young Link...we're here." Little Mac and Young Link came to a stop, as they arrived at their destination...the Jungle.
What was the Jungle, you might ask? It was a greenbelt home to many homeless encampments. Many homeless folks lived in this particular area, where many drug deals took place, along with drug abuse. At first glance, Young Link wasn't convinced.
"This is the worst jungle I've ever been to!" the young Hylian complained, seeing nothing but homeless people wandering around, chatting with one another, etc. "Where's the wild animals, and the tropical trees, and Phil Collins?"
"The 'Jungle' is just a nickname for this place, you twit..." replied Little Mac, as he left Young Link in an even more disappointed mood. Just then, Little Mac received another text message, from the killer. "The killer says that he can see us."
"See us where? From the sky, or at ground level?" Young Link furiously looked all over the place for the killer, his head turning in all sorts of directions. He looked like an even bigger crack addict than the crazy-looking homeless person that passed him by.
"He's supposed to be somewhere around here, so..." Little Mac looked around the Jungle for anyone that was carrying a cellphone, but couldn't find a single person. "...the best thing we can do now, is be vigilant and be on the lookout for the killer."
"Good thinking. I'll use this to attract the killer's attention." Young Link pulled out a spoon and held it at random homeless people, causing them to back away cautiously. "If any of the homeless folk can make this spoon bend, we'll know that they're the one trying to kill you."
"Thought we made it clear that the killer isn't a psychic...please put that spoon away."
Cloud spoke with Samus in the workshop, asking the bounty hunter to make a voice device that would allow Dark Samus to speak. It took a lot...a lot of convincing, but Cloud managed to make Samus come around.
"The sooner we get this over with, the better..." remarked Cloud as he exited the workshop, wondering how his negotiation with Samus would've turned out had he remained a regular resident, and not the man of the mansion.
Samus: Sadly, I have to break my own personal conviction, and make a voice device for Dark Samus. (If i have to make one for Ridley, I quit). But the thing is, with this device, well...it has a bit of a twist to it. Truth be told, I'm actually looking forward to seeing how it works. *smiles*
"Hey, how's it going?" Link asked the swordsman, encountering him in the middle of the hallway. "What do you have on your agenda for today?"
"The buddy cops think that Dark Samus killed me, and that I'm a ghost now," replied Cloud, as LInk was laughing on the inside. He would never laugh at Cloud; Cloud was simply too cool to be laughed at. "One moment, I told them to leave me alone, and the next they think I'm dead..."
"Sorry to hear that, man...you know. The same thing happened with me. I went to the laundromat to wash a stain off my tunic, and the buddy cops thought I had died inside one of the washing machines!"
"That's an...interesting thought process to have. Thankfully, I'm only dealing with one buddy cop, Toon Link; Young Link is helping Little Mac deal with some guy that wants to kill him."
"Oh yeah, Doc Louis said something about that...poor guy was crying his eyes out. He is way too attached to Little Mac, it's almost scary..."
"A huge understatement, if I ever heard one. Doubt this is the last time I'll be working with the buddy cops - might be working with them even more now, after they named me 'deputy sheriff'."
"They named you deputy sheriff? All because you're the man of the mansion now?" Link wasn't laughing, but he sure was smiling at his friend. "Maybe I shouldn't have offered the job to you..."
"Ha ha...very funny, Link."
Young Link and Little Mac were going around the Jungle, asking the homeless people if they had any ambitions to kill LIttle Mac. It was mainly Toon Link who was doing most of the interrogating; Little Mac was just walking around.
"Do you know anything about the guy who wants to kill Little Mac?" Young Link asked a homeless man, who shook his head no as he didn't know either Little Mac or the killer.
"Even if I knew who the killer was, I wouldn't tell you," replied the homeless man, before putting his cigar in his mouth and putting a lighter to it.
"What's the matter, too afraid to snitch? Go on, tell me who the killer is, I won't tell anyone..."
"No thanks, I don't like to snitch. Too risky to do anyways. I snitch on someone, I lose everything! My job, my family, my reputation...maybe even my life!"
"But you're homeless, you have nothing to lose. Who would be trying to kill you?" That was a question for the homeless man to ponder over, as he looked up at the heavens deep in thought.
"You know...I haven't thought about it that way. I got nothin' to worry about! Thanks kid. Good talk, very good talk!"
"Just doing my job, kind sir..." Young Link saluted the homeless man, who got up and walked away with a newfound confidence. Had a big smile on his face...
Homeless Man: What was I doing, living in fear? I'm not a scared man anymore - I'm not scared of anyone! Why in fact, I'm gonna snitch on the jerk that stole my girl back in high school! *pauses* You...don't mind if I mention people by their name on camera, right?
"Any updates about the killer?" Young Link asked Little Mac, who just received another text message from the killer. The killer was likely in the vicinity of Little Mac, and he was still sending his target text messages...cold-blooded.
"Let's see what this is all about..." said Little Mac as he pulled up the text message, before furrowing his brow in confusion. "The killer is...describing himself?"
"This is just the breakthrough we need!" Young Link eagerly took out his notepad and pencil, ready to write down the killer's physical description. "What does he look like?"
"Uh, let's see...he's wearing a yellow knit cap...wears glasses...has on a red jacket...unbuttoned...with a white t-shirt underneath...and he's also wearing brown Timberlands. With a golden tint to them."
"I see, I see..." Young Link finished writing down his notes, before looking around the Jungle for the man in question. He eventually found the man that fit the description, who was sitting on the ground with his back against the wall of the interstate bridge. "...there he is!"
"I doubt that he's the one we're looking for." Little Mac observed the man, thinking of him as a bit too tranquil to be some kind of killer. Unless it was just a mask for his homicidal behavior. "But he fits the description, so...what the heck."
So Young Link and Little Mac walked over to the man, who was just staring into space, likely having deep, personal thoughts about life. The man, who appeared homeless just like everyone else in the Jungle, looked up and saw Young Link and Little Mac standing over him.
"How's it going, fellas?" the man asked Young Link and Little Mac, speaking in a very friendly and heartfelt manner. Young Link thought it was fake. "You can call me Earnest."
"Uh, nice to meet you, Earnest," Little Mac said to the man, who stood up on his feet. Earnest saw the bag of food Little Mac was holding, and Little Mac offered the bag to him. "Here's your Travis Scott meal from McDonaldsl, just like you asked..."
"Why, thanks, kind fella!" Earnest accepted the bag of food from Little Mac, before taking out the quarter pounder and the fries and getting all giddy at the sight of it. Little Mac had yet to give him the soda.
"Sure hope you enjoy your meal!" Without the slightest hint of hesitation, Earnest took the quarter pounder out from its box and started eating, devouring it like it was his last meal on earth. He did the same thing with the fries, scarfing all of them down in one bite.
"Do I get a soda?" Right on command, Little Mac gave the Sprite to Earnest, who immediately took the top off and poured the soda down his mouth. "Wow-wee, that sure hit the spot!"
"This is so weird..." Little Mac whispered to Young Link, while Earnest did some kind of happy dance to celebrate the meal he just had. "...I don't think this is the right guy."
"Of course this is the right guy - we just haven't interrogated him yet," Young Link whispered back, before grabbing Earnest's shirt and pulling the homeless man's face close to his. "Alright, mister - tell us why you wanna kill Little Mac so bad!"
"Little Mac? Is that a new burger they have at McDonald's now?" inquired Earnest, causing Young Link to slap the homeless man silly. "I was just asking a question!"
"This is Little Mac!" Earnest pointed at Little Mac, who was having second regrets over coming to the Jungle. "You said you wanted to kill him, is that correct?"
"That's Little Mac? What is he, some amatuer boxer promoting McDonald's? Shouldn't he be promoting Subway instead?"
"Amatuer? Amatuer?! This man Little Mac is no amatuer, he's a professional, a winning prize fighter! And yet you want to kill him..."
"Why do I want to kill him, I just met the guy! Why would I kill a man who was kind enough to offer me some fast food?"
"Show us your phone! We know you were using it to send Little Mac threatening messages..." So Earnest dug into his pocket, and pulled out his phone...a flip phone, from the late 2000s.
"Had this phone for over ten years...stuck with me through the thick and thin. Can't say it's good for texting, but...it still works!"
"You send threatening text messages on that rinky-dink thing? Amazing...but I'm still gonna arrest you, though, for conspiring to kill Little Mac. So, uh, you're under arrest!"
"Again, why do I want to kill Little Mac?!" Fed up with Young Link's shenanigans, Earnest put away his flip phone as he walked away. "Got a free McDonald's meal, and this is what I get..."
"We can't let the killer get away, Little Mac. After him!" Young Link chased after Earnest, and Little Mac, evaluating his options, sighed as he had no choice but to participate in the chase.
Toon Link searched deep inside the ball pit in the ball pit room for Cloud's body, but couldn't find it anywhere. Bitter that he was left empty-handed, Toon Link went to the police station, where he had the new forensics expert "in training", Sonic, interrogating Dark Samus at the interrogation table. Cloud kept to himself in the back of the police station, watching the interrogation.
Sonic: So, about how I ended up being the new forensics guy...I was using my fingerprint to unlock my phone, and the buddy cops saw me and asked me if I was interested in forensics. Only said yes, to avoid getting arrested. So they gave me the job, and I've been taking it easy ever since! Funny how most things happen to me whenever I take off my gloves.
"How's it coming along, trainee?" Toon Link asked Sonic, who had a list of questions in front of him. Questions that were all written by Toon Link himself.
"Not so good, I'm afraid," replied Sonic, who was bothered by some of the questions Toon Link had written. Wouldn't be a surprise if Sonic didn't ask any of them to Dark Samus. "She won't answer any questions!"
"That's okay...we don't need any questions." Then what was the point of Toon Link writing questions for Sonic to ask in the first place? "I'm about to monologue, sucka!"
"You better make it quick...you only got eight minutes, before you're next," Dark Samus said to Toon Link, shocking the Hylian and Sonic as well by demonstrating the newfound ability to speak. Cloud looked shocked as well, although his reaction...wasn't genuine.
Cloud: Had Samus put the voice device in Dark Samus. But here's the catch: Samus has a keyboard component that she can type into, and makes a computer-generated voice from the device. So it'll seem like Dark Samus is speaking, when it's actually Samus pulling all the buttons.
"Finally speaking now, huh?" Toon Link asked Dark Samus, nodding his head as he was getting himself in the groove. "Alright then, let me paint you a picture...of Cloud Strife, a successful deputy sheriff who recently became addicted to authority, a sedative I take because I'm junkie scum. Also, for real, addiction is a disease. I would be super empathetic if you hadn't murdered a man."
"What is the point of this?" Sonic asked Toon Link; he would leave to head back to his room, if Toon Link gave him the option.
"I'll get there. So, today I'm working with my partner-in-crime, Young Link, when we run into our deputy sheriff, Cloud. He found out we were stealing meds, meds of authority...again, junkie scum...also again, not your fault."
"But it is my fault...I enjoy being guilty," confessed Dark Samus, although it was Samus who was doing all the speaking for the Phazon. "It's all in the name of the game..."
"So you finally admit it. You admit to killing Cloud, and drowning him in the great depths of the ball pit so his body could rot away. But I have to ask...why didn't I see the body, in the ball pit?"
"Because I hid it somewhere else, when the time was right." Toon Link took a step back, amazed at how Dark Samus was able to get the upper hand. "But, against my own judgement, I chopped up Cloud's body, and hid parts of it around the mansion."
"Where did you hide Cloud's body parts?" Toon Link had his notepad out, wanting Dark Samus to give him the full list. "Don't hold anything back from me!"
"Let me be more specific...I actually hid the body parts in the pet food, for the pets. Duck Hunt Dog, Boney, Morgana...they've eaten parts of Cloud, and didn't even know it!"
"Sweet mother of Hylia...that means we have to purge all of the pets! Why would you do such a thing, Dark Samus?! Do you have no soul?!"
"I'm an alien...having a soul is impossible for me. But, if you must know the truth...it wasn't I who killed Cloud. It was the other way around."
"Huh...?" Toon Link gave Dark Samus a confused look, and Sonic would look confused as well.
"You see, it was Cloud who killed me with a pair of tweezers, sticking the object through my chest and piercing through my heart. But in my dying breath, I infected Cloud with a poison - one so lethal, that it delusioned him into thinking that it was I who killed him."
"So, what are you trying to say, Dark Samus?" Toon Link needed some clarification, before he arrested Dark Samus for a crime she did not commit.
"It was Cloud who killed me all along. I'm a ghost now, forced to wander around the mansion as a spirit. Cloud knew what I was about, and killed me while I had the chance before I could take someone's life."
"That...is such an unbelievable story," Sonic offered his two cents, before looking at Toon Link - who had a profound look on his face. "Aw, c'mon, Toon Link..."
"So Cloud isn't a ghost, then?" Toon Link asked Dark Samus, who turned around and saw Cloud standing by himself. "He was alive, all this time?"
"Alive and well...still deluded from the poison, but very much alive," answered Dark Samus, with Toon Link nodding his head as he came to this realization. "I'm the one who got killed, and turned into a ghost."
Samus: Made up all the details to that made-up story at the top of my head...and Toon Link believed every word! I don't mind the buddy cops as much when they act like gullible idiots.
"In that case, thank you Dark Samus, for showing me the light," Toon Link thanked the Phazon, before turning his attention to Cloud. "As for you, Cloud, I'm sorry for thinking you were a ghost. If killing Dark Samus and hiding her body parts in pet food was the honorable thing to do...Hutch and I respect it."
"Apology accepted," replied Cloud, as he walked out of the police station. "Now if you excuse me, I have some important business to get back to..."
"I'm still a forensics expert in training, right?" Sonic asked Toon Link, craving for a chili dog right about now. "I'm starting to think that I'm not cut out for the job..."
Young Link and Little Mac caught up to Earnest, reaching the homeless man at the furthermost part of I-90. Earnest was facing a wall, his back turned to Young Link and Little Mac as he had his hands in his pockets.
"We got you cornered now..." Young Link said to Earnest, his bow out as he had his arrow pointed at the homeless man. "...come clean, and admit your fault, so I can arrest you for your homicide attempt!"
"Skip past the talking, kid...do what you feel," Earnest said to Young Link, keeping his cool as he remained in place. "I got nothing to do with Little Mac..."
"You expect us to believe that? We saw all those text messages - how you wanted Little Mac to meet you in the Jungle, so you could throw the hands! You want to kill Little Mac with your bare hands, don't you?"
"No, you got it all wrong! You got the wrong guy, I'm telling you. I'm not all about killing some stranger!"
"Then why did you threaten Little Mac for, if you're against killing strangers? I bet you have a criminal record...that's why you went homeless!"
"Me? Being homeless? Because of a criminal record? Boy, that's just crazy talk! If you don't take your boxer friend and go away..."
"Uh, I just got another text message," alerted Little Mac as he pulled out his phone. The boxer knew for sure that Earnest wasn't the one who sent it.
"It's from the killer in front of us!" assumed Young Link, as he dropped his bow to the ground. "Gimme your phone!" The Hylian snatched Little Mac's phone, before opening up the text message and reading it for himself. "'Hey babe...I'll be back home soon...going to get the groceries, won't forget this time'...what the?"
"Ah, nothing like a good sub sandwich to ease your cares away..." said a certain avian pilot, who entered the scene holding a sub sandwich. Earnest slowly turned around, and saw Falco, who was looking at Little Mac, Young, Link, and Earnest with a perplexed look. "...what did I miss?"
"Dang it, Falco!" fumed Fox, who appeared out from some nearby shrubbery. Interestingly enough, the pilot had his phone out. "Why did you have to order a sub sandwich? I told you we'd have lunch after we were done!"
"My stomach couldn't wait that long, man! Did you want me to starve?"
"Fox? Falco?" Young Link uttered the names of the pilots, as Fox came out from the shrubbery. "I take it you're both here to help me arrest that crook over there?"
"No, Young Link...that guy over there is not a crook," replied Fox as he looked at Earnest, who walked away from the wall. "He's an innocent man."
"How can he, after all those threatening messages he sent to Little Mac? I'll show you - give me your phone, homeless man!"
"He didn't send those messages to Little Mac...I did." Fox showed Young Link the text messages that he had sent to Little Mac, throughout the entire duration of the episode. "Falco and I, we were there the whole time. Followed you to the Jungle, made you order something from McDonald's, described that homeless man over there...the works."
"Little Mac was in on it, too," added Falco, as Toon Link took the time to process the information he had learned. "Earnest, that's your name, right? Sorry for all the trouble."
"Well, I got a free meal out of this whole conundrum, so it's all good," Earnest said to Falco, his stomach left satisfied by the burger and fries. Oh, and the drink as well.
Little Mac: Cloud wanted to take a break from the buddy cops, so he formed a plan with me, Fox, and Falco. Basically I had to cry wolf about someone trying to kill me, while Fox sent the text messages while posing as the imaginary killer. It was kinda like an acting job, for me...I'd make for a great actor, don't you think?
Fox: Accidentally sent that message to the wrong person...better get to texting Krystal, before she starts worrying about me. *pulls out phone and starts texting*
Falco: The goal of Cloud's plan was to keep both buddy cops out of the mansion. Only one of them got out, so we got the job half-done. I'll take it over nothing.
"So if Fox sent those threatening messages to Little Mac, and not Earnest..." said Young Link, putting all the pieces together...before pointing accusingly at Fox. "...then that means makes you the killer, Fox!"
"Are you that dense?!" Fox frowned at Young Link, who whipped out his Master Sword. "NOBODY WANTED TO KILL LITTLE MAC!" Young Link didn't care, as he leaped at Fox and attacked him ruthlessly with his sword.
"Sooooo...you want another free meal from McDonald's?" Falco asked Earnest, while his buddy Fox continued to be attacked. "I'll let you ride in my Arwing..."
Zelda never got to see any of Cortex's cringe-worthy TV advertisements, and so out of a curious state of mind, the princess watched one of these advertisements on one of the computers in the library. Pit was in one of them.
"Hey all, Pit here - just want to extend my support to Dr. Neo Cortex, the future leader of the Smash Mansion," Pit said in the TV ad Zelda was watching, waving a Canadian flag in front of a green screen that had some dated King Kong footage. "You should do the same, too! HAIL HYDRA!"
"How did Cortex get these ads on TV...?" wondered Zelda, as Cloud entered the library and tapped Zelda on her shoulder. Zelda turned around, and saw Cloud standing behind her. "...oh, hi Cloud."
"You won't believe what happened today," Cloud said to Zelda, who paused her video. "The buddy cops thought I was dead, and that Dark Samus killed me."
"What made them think that? Dark Samus is the last person I'd expect to kill you."
"Beats me, but thanks to Samus, I managed to change their mind...well, one of their minds. Toon Link, that is. I'll do the same trick I did with Young Link, once Little Mac and the boys are through with him."
"Little Mac...and the boys? Must I ask who these boys are?"
"Fox and Falco. Came up with a plan to keep the buddy cops out of the mansion, but only one of the buddy cops took the bait. Little Mac, Fox, and Falco, they were part of the plan."
"You sure are a schemer, Cloud. Got a lot of unused tricks up your sleeve."
"Yeah, I guess. But either way, those buddy cops will be convinced that Dark Samus is dead. I can tell them the truth, but the damage will already be dealt..."
Toon Link: As we learned today, Dark Samus did not kill Cloud - it was the other way around. And Fox was the one who conspired to kill Little Mac, and not Earnest. Dark Samus and Earnest, they're both innocent. Now Hutch...theme music!
Young Link: *sings Law and Order theme song*