Author's Note:
Wrote most of this chapter while I had a cold, so...yeah, just wanted to get that out there. Also, there's a new poll on my profile page, regarding this story, so make sure to go out there, and vote! Now I sound like one of those in-your-face election ads...anyways, enjoy!
Episode 252: Imposter
Boss's Day, which was usually celebrated on October 16, was a day in which employees thanked their bosses for being kind and generous, and looking out for them. Some employees treat the day for what it was, while others used it as an opportunity to kowtow to their bosses as a flex for power.
Master Hand had always fancied himself as the boss or CEO of the Smash Mansion while deeming the man of the mansion as his second-in-command. And with Cloud being the new man of the mansion, Master Hand deeply feared that Master Hand was losing the respect and admiration he once had. He suspected that being away from the mansion for so long was a big factor, but the giant hand suspected that something bigger was in play.
To see if his suspicions were valid, Master Hand went around the mansion speaking with every resident he laid his nonexistent eyes on. While many of the residents detested having small talk with Master Hand, let alone speaking with the giant hand, they had no choice in the matter today.
"Hubert truly makes the best tea, out of all the students in the Black Lions house," Byleth said to Twintelle, as she was attending a tea party with the movie star and Beleth in the mansion's backyard patio. "Makes up for his, erm...uncanniness, I'll say."
"With a name like Hubert, I can see why he acts the way he does," said Twintelle before sipping her tea, as Master Hand slowly floated his way down to the tea party and positioning himself behind Twintelle. "His parents must hate him."
"I'd wager that he hated himself from the day he was born," said Beleth, as none of the three tea party attendees were aware of Master Hand's presence. "He's just so brooding, all the time..."
"Nice tea party we're having, you guys!" exclaimed Master Hand, scaring the living daylights out of Beleth and company. Good thing nobody was sipping any of their tea at the moment. "Way to leave me out on the fun!"
"Oh, um, hi Master Hand..." Twintelle greeted the giant hand, as she composed herself; she couldn't afford to let anyone see her so frightened, she had quite a reputation to uphold. "...fancy seeing you here."
"I'm just happy to be here. Is there anything else you would like to say, Twintelle?" Not knowing what else to say, Twintelle looked at the two professors, as they shrugged their shoulders.
"You wanted me to say something else...?" Master Hand did as he was eagerly waiting for Twintelle to say something. The excitement was almost killing him.
"You're not gonna tell me how awesome I am? Or how happy you are to have my being in charge of the mansion? I know Cloud is the new alpha male and all, but please, put some respect on my name too!"
Master Hand: What is wrong with these people? Today is Boss's day, and these moronic residents aren't showering me with praise, and honor, and high remarks. I don't want these people to fear me, mind you - I just want them to fear how much they love me. Their love is what keeps me going.
"Can I interest you guys with some scones?" asked Cuphead as he came outside holding a tray of scones, before spotting Master Hand. "Master Hand, do you want some scones? They're fresh out of the oven!"
"No thanks, Cuphead, I'm good," replied Master Hand, as Cuphead placed the tray of scones on the table without even asking any of the tea party guests. "But before you go, answer me this...how much do you love me?"
"I, uh...don't feel entirely comfortable answering this question." Cuphead slowly inched away, as Master Hand's question made him feel rather uncomfortable.
"No, it's fine, you can go ahead and tell me the truth, I won't attack you or anything! I just wanted to know how deep your love is for me."
"How deep my love is? For you? Master Hand, I don't know where you're coming from!" Disgusted with Cuphead's ignorance, and reluctance, Master Hand let out a very deep sigh.
"Admit it, Cuphead - you don't want to answer because you're simply too afraid to tell the truth. Deep down you hate me with every fiber of my being, don't you? Don't you?!"
"Whoever said I did? I don't love you, or hate you for that matter, I'm just...very neutral on you." Cuphead provided his honest answer but yet was not good enough for Master Hand.
"Only cowards say that they're neutral. Be extremely honest with me. Do you love me, or hate me? If I were you, I'd heavily go with the former."
"Can I just say that I like you, and be done with it? Goodness, gracious..." Having just about enough of Master Hand, Cuphead stormed back inside the mansion to take his mind off of things.
"Still not good enough!" Master Hand called out to Cuphead, before turning his attention to those attending the tea party. "What about you three, how deep is your love for yours truly?"
"It's great to have a commanding presence like you around," Byleth responded nervously, as Master Hand could tell that the professor was holding back. Master Hand wanted Byleth to give it her all.
"That doesn't really tell me anything. Do you love having a commanding presence like me around, or are you just making it up?"
"My tea is getting cold..." stated Beleth, as he took his teacup and drank his tea. The tea was relatively pretty warm; Beleth just wanted Master Hand to go away, right now.
"Yes, same here," said Byleth, as she too drank her tea. Master Hand turned his attention to Twintelle, who was busy helping herself with some scones - even had to stuff her mouth, so she wouldn't have to say a single word.
"Fine, have it your way..." grumbled Master Hand, as he floated away from the tea party in a sour mood. "...bunch of wimps."
"Is he gone? Twintelle asked the professors, who both nodded their heads. Twintelle then swallowed the scones; it was a pretty big swallow.
With Cortex taking a personal break away from the mansion - and with his pet goose - Uka sought Cortex's break as a chance to be the guardian mask of someone else. The qualifications in the person that Uka was looking for were simple: the candidate had to be a villain, and brimming with potential. Potential was a trait that Uka thought was extremely lacking in Cortex.
Over the course of two weeks or so, Uka evaluated his options and came down to two men - Bowser and Dark Pit. He liked what each man brought to the table, whether it was Bowser's bravado or Dark Pit's swagger. Still, there could be only one man Uka can serve, and it was all about making the right choice.
Uka: Liked what I've seen from Bowser and Dark Pit - they both share a lot of qualities that Cortex never had. Both of them not only have swagger and bravado, but they also look like they know how to get stuff done. Failure is nonexistent in their DNA. Dr. Cortex, on the other hand, is the very definition of failure. Whatever students bullied Cortex in school were wrong to put an N on that man's forehead - an F would've been so much better! Stupid idiots...
Uka would speak with one of the two men he had in mind, as he went ahead and speak with Dark Pit. Dark Pit was doing his usual groundskeeping work, as he was mowing the grass in the front yard of the mansion.
"Out of the way, you dumb pigs!" the doppelganger shouted at a bunch of pigs, all of whom were roaming around on the grass. Those very pigs were Minecraft pigs; Steve and Alex had brought a couple over. "Don't make me run this lawnmower over ya..."
"Yes, Dark Pit, show those pigs no mercy!" Uka enticed the doppelganger, as he floated down from the sky with a giant grin on his face. "Turn this front yard into an arena of carnage!"
"Um, why are you here? I don't need your useless commentary." As the pigs moved out of the way, Dark Pit resumed mowing the grass, with Uka following closely behind the doppelganger.
"Maybe not, but you sure could use a companion. Which is why I'm here, to fill the void. We can be a dominant duo together - we can never be stopped!"
"Thanks, but no thanks. I prefer to do things on my own. I'm a lone wolf." Regardless of what Dark Pit said, Uka still believed that the doppelganger could use a companion.
"But think of all the possibilities! Together, we can bully Pit to no end! We can take over the entire United States! Why stop there...we can even take over the entire universe!"
"Look man, are you deaf? I. AM. NOT INTERESTED. Now why don't you leave me alone, and get somebody else to be a part of your stupid pipe dream?" On that note, Dark Pit walked away with the lawnmower, left annoyed.
"Well, I don't need you anyway! Fortunately, I have somebody else in mind..." That somebody was Bowser, who was seen making his way over to Mario's house. Smiling intently, Uka floated over to Bowser, who reached Mario's front door.
"Hehehe...Mario's sure gonna get a real kick out of this prank," said Bowser as he excitedly rubbed his hands together, as Uka caught up to the koopa king. "If everything goes well, he'll look like an utter..."
"Good afternoon, King Bowser!" Uka greeted the koopa king, who turned around and was delighted to see Uka - whom he respected more than Aku. "What fun things are you up to?"
"I'm gonna pull a prank on Mario, it's gonna be awesome." Bowser smiled and held in his laughter, as he knocked on the front door. "I've been meaning to pull this prank on him months ago, so...better late than never."
"Give me one-a moment!" exclaimed Mario, before he eventually opened the front door. The plumber saw Bowser and Uka, and was trying his hardest to fake his excitement. "Why hello there, Bowser...and Uka."
"Congratulations, Mario, today's your lucky day!" Bowser happily shook Mario's hand, acting like he was about to give the plumber a million dollars. Ain't no way Bowser was gonna let Mario have a million dollars before he did.
"Usually I would-a be excited but considering it's you, Bowser...I'm kind of scared." Mario would look behind Bowser, to make sure that Bowser didn't have anything to hurt him with.
"No need to be afraid, Mario! For you, my friend, are about to receive one of the most legendary and prestigious artifacts known to man. It's too awesome to say out loud, so I'll just hand it to ya!"
So Bowser reached into his imaginary pocket and pulled out a piece of notebook paper that was likely ripped out of a notebook or something. The koopa king handed the piece of notebook paper to Mario, who looked at it skeptically.
"'The N-Word Pass? Really, Bowser?" Mario frowned at the koopa king, wanting to throw the piece of paper on the ground. "Is this some kind of joke?"
"If you must know, I asked for permission to give these out. They were made by Doc Louis himself. You should be fortunate enough to receive one of those things - it can change your life!"
Bowser: My prank for Mario isn't really much of a prank. It's more of a social experiment. *pauses* Rather, it's a prank disguised as a social experiment. Or a social experiment disguised as a prank, I mean. It's a social experiment, that looks like a prank on the surface, but is actually a social experiment in nature...bah! I give up...
"Hey Mario, what's that you got there in your hand?" Spyro asked the plumber, who showed the purple dragon the piece of paper - although he didn't really have to. "The N-word pass? 'You are hereby allowed to use the N-word...says Doc Louis'?"
"That's right! Mario gets to use the N-word, free as charged," Bowser said to Spyro, while Uka looked on at the koopa king with a cynical stare. "He can only use that pass once, so he better use it wisely!"
"Do I even need to ask what this N-word pass is all about?" Seeing that Spyro was out of the loop, Bowser was more than happy to fill the dragon in.
"With that N-word pass, Mario gets to use a word that only people from the hood can use. Doc Louis made those passes, and kindly asked me to pass them out for him."
"So who did-a you even ask for permission?" stated Mario, as Doc Louis curiously came over when he heard Bowser mention his name.
"I asked Master Hand, who else was I supposed to ask? Isabelle? I wouldn't be giving out these sacred passes all willy-nilly, do you? Who do you think I am?"
"What sacred passes?" Doc Louis asked Bowser, before taking a bite out of his chocolate bar. Bowser turned around and saw Doc Louis, as he was now suddenly nervous.
"Oh, it's, uh...none of your concern, Doc Louis. Just an inside joke between me and Mario." Doc Louis furrowed his brow, as Uka looked more cynical.
"Bowser is giving out something called an 'N-word pass,'" Spyro explained to Doc Louis, who looked at Bowser like he was the biggest buffoon on the planet. "He just gave one to Mario."
"Bowser, what gives you the right to hand those things out?" Doc Louis confronted the koopa king, giving him a piece of his mind. "If anyone is deserving to give out some 'N-word pass', it's me!"
"I was just...trying to solve societal issues, one small step at a time!" Doc Louis didn't buy that excuse, as he shook his fist at Bowser. "You're just overreacting, Doc Louis - these passes are your very creation."
"He claimed-a that those N-word passes were yours," Mario said to Doc Louis, as he dug Bowser in an even deeper hole. Doc Louis thought about sparing Bowser, but Mario changed the boxing trainer's mind completely.
"Uh...you wanna give out these N-word passes?" Bowser asked an angry Doc Louis with an innocent grin, holding out many pieces of notebook paper in his hands and offering them to Doc Louis. "You can do a lot of good with them!"
Emotionally disturbed, Master Hand brought Cloud, Zelda, Isabelle, and Ayaha to his room for what he claimed to be a "very important and serious" meeting. Which could mean one of two things - either the meeting was actually very important and serious, or it was just a waste of everyone's time.
"There is a deep hatred brewing at this mansion..." said Master Hand, speaking in a deep voice as he sounded obviously very angry and ticked off. "A hatred that has been permeating for far too long...
"I hate it when he's always acting so overdramatic," Ayaha whispered to Zelda, before Master Hand pointed his finger up in the secretary's face.
"Shut up and save your condescending remarks for later, I'm talking here!" Having given Ayaha a piece of his mind, Master Hand recomposed himself as he cleared his throat. "As I was saying, there's a level of hatred at this mansion that I've sadly been blind to."
"What is this 'level of hatred' that you speak of?" asked Cloud, who had more important tasks to fulfill than helping with Master Hand's personal problems. Being Master Hand's therapist was definitely not Cloud's MO, as the man of the mansion.
"Sadly, the residents in this mansion don't love me nearly as much as I thought they did. Whenever I approach them, they just say in an uninterested voice, 'Oh, hey, Master Hand'...and then continue on with their day, without telling me how much they appreciate me!"
"Maybe you spoke with them at the wrong time," theorized Zelda, as Master Hand resisted the urge to go on a profanity-laced rant about how despicable and awful the residents were. "Were these residents busy when you spoke with them?"
"Let's see...Byleth and Beleth were having a tea party with Twintelle...the Inklings had a huge paint battle in the ballroom...Pigma got his foot stuck in the toilet, again...nope, doesn't sound like they were busy at all!"
Isabelle: Master Hand has a very big ego, so naturally he expects every person living under this roof to tell him how much you appreciate him. As for me, being a loyal assistant to Master Hand, I have to tell Master Hand every day how much I think of him. The days I do forget to tell him, I always wake up in the middle of the street the very next morning...
"Heck, Steve and Alex have been living here for a week, and they haven't shown their appreciation for me!" complained Master Hand, like he expected Steve and Alex to heap endless praise upon him. "And Zombie and Enderman...they're too shy to reveal their true feelings."
"Zombie moans like a typical zombie, he can't speak," stated Cloud; Master Hand was certain that Zombie could speak, and was only making zombie sounds to suppress his inner thoughts. "As for Enderman, it's just...anti-social."
"Master Hand if you want, I can go around and ask the residents to say something nice about you," Isabelle said to the giant hand, delighting him greatly with her idea. "I'll just pass out a form, and they can write..."
"No, Isabelle, screw that - I need video evidence!" said Master Hand, before he pointed at Cloud and Zelda as he was feeling reinvigorated again. "Cloud, Zelda, I want you two to ask the producers for two of their finest cameramen."
"Oh boy, I think I know where this is going..." Cloud sighed deeply, knowing well what Master Hand was about to ask of him. "... you want me and Zelda to go around, and have the residents say on camera how much you mean to them."
"Took the words right out of my mouth, Cloud! You're really are my second conscience. I don't want either of you to stop until you have everyone on video!"
"Quick question, Master Hand," said Zelda, as a curious thought entered her head. "What if any of the residents lie on camera?"
"Then I'll kill them..." Master Hand responded in a serious tone, making Zelda, Ayaha, and Isabelle gasp. Cloud, who didn't have that much in him, just widened his eyes in shock. "...ha! I'm just kidding. I'll just throw them down in some dark pit, with a bunch of Creepers. That'll teach 'em!"
"Guess this mansion's gonna be barren pretty soon," Cloud said to Zelda, as the two mansion leaders left Master Hand's room. Master Hand let out a deep sigh of happiness, eager and excited to see the residents speaking positively about him.
Bowser's prank, or social experiment, or whatever, was not a hit with Doc Louis. The scheme pulled by Bowser earned the koopa king a black eye, courtesy of Doc Louis. Now, Bowser was in the bathroom in front of the mirror, seeing how bad his black eye was.
"I don't get it, I offered him all those N-word passes!" said Bowser, as Uka was in the bathroom accompanying the koopa king. "He can give those out without getting beat up."
"Bowser, Bowser, Bowser..." Uka shook his head at the koopa king, letting him know how deeply disappointed he was in him. "...you're doing it all wrong."
"You're right, I did it all wrong...writing those N-word passes on notebook paper, that was not very professional on my part. Knew I should've typed them up instead. Stupid Luminary, hogging the computer!"
"I'm not talking about those stupid word passes, or whatever! I'm talking about you, Bowser. You're not living up to your own villainous standards."
"And how would you know? You spent much of your time with that walking failure, in Dr. Cortex. And where has that gotten you?"
"It's led me nowhere, I will admit...but, I'm willing to start anew. At least for the time being. Who better to make a fresh new start with, then you, King Bowser?"
"So you wanna start some kind of alliance, don't ya?" Bowser barely did much with Uka in the past, so him teaming up with the floating mask would make for a very interesting partnership of villains. "Why me?"
"You have loads of potential, unlike Cortex. Not to mention that you're arguably much easier to work with, looking from the outside. Also, I can do my best to tame your...childish habits."
"What childish habits? Like that N-word pass? You gotta admit, it was kinda funny, even if Mario didn't look as fearful for his life as I wanted him to."
"Yes, it might've been humorous, but it was also very immature on your part. That would be more fitting for a male high school student to do, than a grown man who's the father of eight bastard children!"
"Watch your mouth, mister! Bowser Jr. is my only biological child. The Koopalings, they're adopted...I think, but they're definitely not bastard kids!"
"Meh, I'll believe it when I see the evidence for myself..." Uka floated over to Bowser, ready to make an offer the koopa king couldn't refuse. "...so, Bowser, are you in? Or are you in?"
"Ooh, I dig your style! It's no wonder you're lightyears ahead of your goody-two-shoes brother." After making his remark, Bowser just stared at Uka, leaving the floating mask confused.
"Soooo what's it gonna be? Are you in or not?" Bowser still did not answer, as he looked down at the floor, before looking back up at Uka. "Don't leave me hanging like this, it's making me uncomfortable!"
"Oh sorry, I was expecting you to pull out a hand out of thin air for me to shake or something. You know, to signify our alliance. But yeah, I'm totally in!"
"Excellent! We won't waste any time - we'll start our reign of terror right away! Now tell me, Bowser, what's one thing that you desire the most?"
"To tell you the truth, all I ever wanted was for a woman to love me back." This was honestly a response Uka did not expect from Bowser, in the slightest. "I remember trying to get Lara Croft to love me back, but that only got me in trouble. Now, we're just friends."
"Ah, yes, you were working hard to win her heart. That love letter you wrote for Miss Croft was...something, I tell you what. Um, are you still interested in Princess Peach?"
"Heck yeah I am, I'm still interested in Princess Peach!" Bowser always liked Peach unconditionally - Peach could shave her head bald, grow a mustache like Mario's, turn into a sasquatch, or all of the above, and Bowser still wouldn't bat an eye. "Too bad she's married to Mario..."
"Well, what if we cut Mario out of the equation? We kill Mario, and then Peach will be all yours!"
"Nah, been there, done that. Usually, I'm the one that ends up getting killed!" Begs to question how Bowser always came back to life, every time.
"That's because you never had anyone on your side...like me. Trust me, I know a thing or two about murder...especially if it's your worst enemy."
"Oh yeah, I bet you do...so where do we start?" Bowser was rubbing his hands together, as he and Uka were now foreseeing Mario's death. Would the evil duo's diabolical plan be a success?
"We can start planning today, and carry out our course of action later. Let's just worry about planting the seeds first..."
Uka: Mario apparently has a hard time when it comes to dying - he's fallen in lava, fallen into bottomless pits, and crushed alive by all sorts of monsters, and yet he somehow lives to see another day! And I don't believe that he even knows how to drown. Obviously, he isn't as human as he wants us to believe. But Bowser and I, we'll find a way around Mario's apparent immortality, and make him suffer!
Since today was Boss Day, Fox and Falco were fully expecting the employees of Star Records to suck up to them until midnight. So the two pilots were seated together in the Star Records room, feet resting on the desk, as they waited for the idol singers and others to shower them with gifts. They had plenty of gifts on the desk already.
"What are you two smiling about?" Itsuki asked Fox and Falco, as he was conducting some important business on his phone. "I take it you signed someone to Star Records, without even telling me?"
"C'mon Itsuki - take a seat next to us," Falco said to the young man, who shook his head and walked away. "Hop in on the gravy train!" Evidently, Itsuki didn't feel like being spoiled.
"No thanks, I have some important business to do..." As Itsuki walked to the other side of the room, Mamori entered the room wheeling in a cake. Ashley and Asuka helped the idol singer wheel the cake inside the room.
"Happy Boss Day!" exclaimed Mamori as she wheeled the cake over to Fox and Falco, who were both all smiles. Itsuki saw the cake, which was about at least six layers tall, and shook his head disdainfully. "We had Cilan bake this cake, just for you."
"Why Cilan? He never worked for us," said Fox, who preferred that Mamori baked the cake by herself. Gotta put her baking skills to good use, even if they were mostly nonexistent. "But thanks anyway, for the cake!"
"I was forced into buying you these," Ashley said to Fox and Falco, reluctantly handing them gift cards to their favorite restaurants. "Please don't spend it all in one sitting..."
"We're totally gonna spend these gift cards in one sitting!" exclaimed Falco, as he and Fox accepted their gift cards before exchanging a high-five. Ashley looked away and pinched the crown of her nose, as Kiria entered the Star Records room.
"Fox, Falco, and Ituski - we organized a potluck party in the living room, just for you three," Kiria said to the three heads of Star Records; Fox and Falco were a hundred percent intrigued, while Itsuki just stared at Kiria like she was insane. "Our treat."
"Wow, a potluck party? Am I invited?!" asked Big Top, as the talking hat sat on the desk smiling his cares away. In his mind, Big Top was the life of the party - or at least any party he was allowed to attend.
"I mean, you're just a stupid talking hat...but yeah, I guess you're invited." Fox and Falco's Boss Day was getting better, as the two pilots exchanged yet another high-five.
"Aw yeah, I'm lovin' this Boss Day already!" shouted Fox, although Itsuki wasn't sharing the pilot's excitement. He found Boss Day extremely trivial. "Why can't we celebrate Boss Day every day?"
"Same reason why we can't celebrate birthdays or Christmas on a daily basis," replied Falco, as he was now eating the six-layered cake - without even cutting any slices. The cutting utensils were already present. "The universe can't allow us mortal beings to have too much fun and pleasure in our lives. Also, think of the economy!"
"You're right, I haven't even thought about the economy...it would be infinitely much worse than it is right now. Hey, Mamori, when is the potluck party gonna start?"
"Whenever you three feel like it," replied Mamori, as Ituski strongly wished that he wasn't part of the three. The idol singers would undoubtedly force Itsuki to attend the party, against his will.
"Great, 'cause Falco and I are ready to party up now!" Fox and Falco ran out of the Star Records room, leaving their cake behind. "Hurry up Itsuki, the party's not gonna start without ya!"
"Haven't seen those two motivated in such a long time..." remarked Asuka, as she and Mamori and Ashley made their leave. "...we should totally award them with cake. Heard that cake was a good motivator."
"Someone's pretty down on the potluck party," Kiria said to Itsuki, as she took note of the young man's visage. Itsuki had a scowl on his face, and Kiria couldn't tell if Itsuki was angry, or annoyed. "Still salty that Dr. Cortex screwed you over?"
"No, I've gotten over it quickly," replied Itsuki, finishing up whatever business he had to handle as he put his cellphone away. "Though I do wish that Cortex owed me an apology before he took his break from the mansion."
"It's Cortex...he wouldn't apologize even if he had a gun to his head. But why are you against the potluck party, Itsuki?"
"I'm not against it or anything...I just find it needless. Why do me, Fox, and Falco need some party, just for doing our jobs?"
"It's not just for doing your job...every boss can do that. It's for being exceptional bosses. You three are a great trio."
"Wouldn't say 'great' is the right word...I'm the one that has to keep Fox and Falco in check. Those two sure are quirky..."
"...and their quirkiness has gotten Star Records pretty far, has it not?" Kiria smiled at Itsuki, as she grabbed the young man's hand and walked out of the Star Records room. "Can't leave us hanging at the potluck party, Itsuki!"
"Can you at least give me some time to consider?" Itsuki had no choice now - he had to be at that potluck party, or everyone at Star Records would likely hate him forever.
As an order (or command) from Master Hand, Cloud and Zelda were asked to go around the mansion, and have the residents give their honest thoughts on Master Hand. Any resident that talked up a storm about how much they loved and appreciated Master Hand, would get a pass. Those who spoke the opposite about the giant hand would likely find themselves in a very bad predicament. Or even worse.
"Just say something nice about Master Hand, and be done with it," Cloud said to Simon, with a cameraman in front of the vampire hunter. Link was standing next to Cloud, eager to hear what Simon had to say.
"So you want me to lie about Master Hand on camera, Cloud?" asked Simon, as he was feeling very conflicted. The vampire hunter despised telling lies as much as he despised vampires and other supernatural creatures. "I don't think I can stand for that."
"Just do I did, say that you're neutral about Master Hand," Link suggested to Simon, and Simon was unsure if that was such a good idea. "That way, you can say that you neither like nor dislike Master Hand!"
"Master Hand doesn't want any neutral answers, he wants definite ones," Cloud said to Link, who snapped his fingers in disgust. Simon was now twiddling his fingers, looking increasingly nervous.
Link: That Zelda, she absolutely did me dirty...if Master Hand resents my very existence forever, I'll know who to blame.
"Can I just say that I don't care for Master Hand?" Simon asked Cloud, finding himself stuck in a rock and a hard place. Having to give his honest opinion on someone - especially an individual like Master Hand - was not one of Simon's strongest suits.
"Master Hand might take your answer out of context, and think that you hate him or something," replied Cloud, making Simon gulp very loudly. "He jokingly said that he would kill anyone who hated him, but I doubt that he was kidding..."
"...excuse me for a moment, I need some time to rehearse my lines." Simon quickly retreated, needing some alone time so he could come to terms with his own mortality while also reflecting on his life. He had never felt so scared before.
"I think you should put an end to that whole 'Master Hand wants to kill his haters' schtick," the cameraman suggested to Cloud, who didn't want to fulfill Master Hand's task as much as the swordsman did. "That's the third person we scared to death!"
"Well Master Hand will flip if he hears even one critical comment about him," stated Cloud, left in an uncompromising position as he held his finger underneath his chin. "If only there was a way to tame that ego of his..."
Taking his mind off of the "hatred" that he believed was brewing inside the mansion, Master Hand headed outside to get some fresh air. There he saw Anna, who was operating her shop at the front of the mansion. Anna was allowed by Master Hand to operate her shop; the only setback was that the merchant wasn't allowed to stay inside the mansion. As part of the compromise Master Hand begrudgingly agreed to.
"Thank you, come again!" Anna said to a customer, as she made a transaction. The customer smiled at Anna, before looking frightened and running away when Master Hand drew close to Anna. "Hi, Master Hand! Came here to buy some of the junk you've asked me to sell?"
"Tell me, Anna...what is it like, to be hated?" Master Hand asked the merchant as if he was expecting a deep, thought-provoking answer. "To be scorned deeply, to be heavily despised even for doing the right thing?"
"Funny you're asking me this since you hate me with every fiber of your being..." Anna wanted to crack a joke at Master Hand's expense, but she could tell that Master Hand wasn't in the mood. "...why are you acting like such a grouchy grump for?"
"I've come to the sudden realization that many people in the mansion secretly hate me. Whenever I approach them, they don't even take the time to say 'I love you, Master Hand'. How low can their empathy be?!"
"I'm surprised you didn't realize that truth sooner..." Anna muttered under her breath before she thought about offering a slight suggestion to Master Hand. "...perhaps they act that way because you don't gel with them that well."
"Impossible - I'm practically their best friend! Some of them are probably too shy to admit it - they think I might shower them with hugs and kisses."
"All I've heard from the residents is how you harass them and make fun of them, and even scare them in the middle of the night...that's not what a 'best friend' would do if you ask me."
"So it's my fault that nobody can take a joke these days. It's true - humor is becoming a thing of the past! Those cultural Marxists keep winning..."
"...as I said, you should spend time gelling with the residents, instead of bullying them for your own amusement. Maybe then they'll come around!"
Suddenly Steve was thrown out of the mansion, landing on top of the lawnmower Dark Pit left outside like a piece of wood. The pigs came over to Steve, who sprung up to his feet like it was nothing.
"That horribly-placed lawnmower totally didn't break my fall - or my back," remarked Steve, whose never-changing face made it hard to tell if he was truly in pain or not. "No pain, no gain."
"Steve, why did they toss you out of the mansion like that?" Master Hand went over to the craftsman, checking him from head to toe to see if he was okay. "That's no way to treat the new guy around here!"
"I was playing a game with my new friends. They threw me out of the mansion because I was acting too 'sus'."
"Too sus? As in, too suspect? I didn't know you were about that life, Steve. How come you never told me?"
"Hey Steve, we're about to play another game of Among Us!" Pit opened the front door and called out to the craftsman. "Turns out I was the imposter this whole time! Can you believe it?"
"Sonic you stupid idiot, you outed yourself!" Sonic shouted to the angel from inside the mansion. Pit seemed pretty proud to be the imposter. "Did you even know you were the imposter?"
Tails: Among Us is all the rage these days, so we decided upon ourselves to play a real-life variant of it. No computers, no cellphones - just a bunch of friends killing each other. *pauses* All in the name of fun, of course.
"That's what I was trying to figure out," Pit responded to Sonic, as he ran back inside the mansion. "I bet you knew this whole time! You can't hide any of your dirty secrets from me!"
"You are welcome to play with us if you like, Master Hand," Steve said to the giant hand, who was allured by the idea; Master Hand had longed to spend quality time with the residents, and this was his golden chance.
"Remember what I said...spending time with the residents will work wonders!" Anna said to Master Hand, with a cheeky smile. Judging from what little he had seen, Steve and Pit both seemed like they were having fun.
"It's not that often I take advice from an evil capitalist..." said Master Hand as he evaluated his options, before coming to a final decision. "...but my made is all made up! Steve, I want to be a part of this...Among Us charade."
"Superb! Follow me inside; Coco Bandicoot will explain the rules," Steve said to Master Hand as he walked inside the mansion. Master Hand couldn't help but giggle at how Steve walked.
"He and Alex walk so funnily...a bunch of dorks they are." Master Hand would make his way inside the mansion, teleporting his way inside, as Anna smiled hoping all things went well with Master Hand and friends.
Master Hand, Steve, Pit, and Sonic were gathered in the foyer with Kirby, Aku, Tails, Joker, Ike, Soren, and Diddy Kong, ready to play another round of Among Us. The game was officiated by Coco, who had security footage on her laptop. X and Fuuka got hooked all Coco up, after the whole Dr. Brio fiasco.
"Here's how Among Us works, Master Hand," Coco said to the giant hand, ready to explain the rules while Crash was holding a detector bracelet - the kind that was used back in episode 42. "One person out of ten is an imposter, while the rest are crewmates. Crewmates are given tasks to complete, while the imposter is given fake tasks to blend in with the crewmates."
"So I can look like an evil genius lurking among a bunch of idiots," said Master Hand, rephrasing the instructions Coco had given him but in his own words. "This game sounds like pure fun already!"
"The crewmates can win if they can complete all their tasks. But the imposter, on the other hand, can win by killing the crewmates."
"I have absolute freedom to kill the residents?!" Master Hand was much happier than he was supposed to be, and it put those in the foyer at edge. "I love this so much! Finally, I have a justifiable reason to kill somebody..."
"Nooo, Master Hand...you can't actually kill someone." Hearing that, Master Hand let out a pitiful moan. "You 'kill' someone by activating their detector bracelet. Like this." Crash revealed the detector bracelet to Master Hand.
"Ooh! We used bracelets like those for that prank war a few years ago. You should've been there - it was loads of fun for everyone involved!"
"Not everyone," mumbled Diddy, who was still salty about being pranked by Aerith in the prank war. He was the first to go out.
"Only up to ten people are allowed to play at once," stated Coco, meaning that someone in the foyer was about to get the boot. "Which means that we'll have to cut somebody from the group..." The blonde bandicoot turned her head towards Aku, and Aku knew what was coming.
"Happens to me every time..." Aku deeply sighed as he floated away; when it came to having fun, the floating mask rarely had a fair chance.
"Alright, now I'm going to give each of you your task list." Coco took out ten lists, giving one to each participant as Crash gave the detector bracelet to Master Hand - albeit to the best of his ability. "Make sure you read what's at the top!"
"Sweet, I'm a crewmate this time!" cheered Pit as he saw the word "Crewmate" at the top of his task list, before covering his mouth. "Was I supposed to say that out loud?"
"You're not an imposter, so it's all good. Here's your task list, Master Hand." Coco handed a task list to Master Hand, whose detector bracelet was extremely tight-fitting on his ring finger. The bracelet was cutting off Master Hand's circulation, provided the giant hand even had blood.
"Ooh la la...I get to be the imposter," Master Hand said quietly to himself, as he saw "Imposter" inscribed at the top of his to-do list. "This should be fun..."
Master Hand: Sadly I won't have a license to kill during this game of "Among Us", but the love and rapport I build up with the residents I'll be playing with will be insurmountable. At the end of the day, the nine residents will no longer be considered my best friends. They'll be soulmates...but not the romantic kind, of course. Think of it as Ike and Soren, if you will.
As an imposter in Among Us, blending in with the crewmates was all in the name of the game. Master Hand chose to blend in by hanging around with Steve, making it seem like he was checking out Steve just because he was the new guy.
"The thermostat has been properly adjusted," notified Master Hand, after he tinkered with the thermostat. Couldn't even remember the last time he bothered with that thing. "How are things coming along on your end, Steve?"
"If I gather up enough materials, I will have another diamond sword on my hands," stated Steve as he mining for resources in the hallway, and not completing any of the objectives on his task list. Way to play the game, Steve...
"I can't kill Steve...he's too naive. Killing him just won't feel right." Master Hand had this quiet conversation with himself as he floated away from Steve. "There's gotta be someone who's ripe for the kill..."
"Oh, delicious treats...how I wish to suck you all up at once," said a certain pink puffball as Master Hand passed by the vending machine room. Master Hand pulled back and looked inside the room, spotting Kirby. "Alas, the glass window stands in the way between you and me."
"Now there's a worthy victim!" Master Hand floated his way inside the vending machine room, positioning himself behind Kirby and ensuring that the pink puffball couldn't detect his presence. Not knowing exactly how to "kill" Kirby, Master Hand just flicked the puffball in his back...
"Eek!" shrieked Kirby, his detector bracelet sounding off as he collapsed unto the floor as if he had died. Kirby just laid there on the floor, motionless, as his detector bracelet was blinking.
"I did it...I killed someone!" Master Hand cheered quietly - imagine how even more excited the giant hand would be if he actually straight-up killed Kirby. "One down, only a couple more to go!"
"Why is 'acquire bag of potato chips for Coco' on the list?" Tails was heard from outside the vending machine room, as Master Hand made his leave by disappearing. Tails walked inside the vending machine room, gasping when he saw Kirby "dead" on the floor. "Kirby, no!"
Tails reported Kirby's "death" to Coco, who rounded up all the crewmates and (Master Hand) by sending a distress signal on their detector bracelets. Everyone met in the foyer, to talk about who was responsible for killing Kirby.
"Alright, so who was it?" asked Coco as she looked around the foyer, the crewmates trying not to look guilty. "Joker, was it you?"
"Wasn't me - I was busy washing the dishes," stated Joker, proving his innocence. "Some of the dishes were already washed, though..."
"I was sweeping the floor in Master Hand's room," stated Sonic, who had performed the task three times already. The hedgehog was already losing it. "What about you, Master Hand, what did you do?"
"TAILS KILLED KIRBY!" accused Master Hand as he pointed at the yellow fox in question. Tails, knowing that he was purely innocent, looked around as all the attention was on him. "I saw him, he was there in the vending machine room where Kirby was killed."
"No Master Hand, you got it all wrong!" Tails said to the giant hand, nervous at the thought of potentially being voted off. "I walked inside the room, and that's where I saw Kirby. It must've been Steve - he was within the vicinity of the room!"
"See? See how quick Tails was to accuse Steve? He's trying to deflect the blame by putting it on someone else! That's what accused people do, and Tails just made himself look guilty! So therefore, he's the imposter!"
"He's got a point there...can't argue with that," Ike nodded his head, taking time to mull over Master Hand's reasoning as the crewmates were all in agreement. Much to the chagrin of Tails, who couldn't believe what he was seeing.
"If you think that Tails is the imposter, raise your hands," commanded Coco, as Master Hand and a couple of crewmates raised their hands. The only ones that didn't raise their hands were Tails...and Sonic. "Sonic, would you like to object?"
"I don't know, maybe Steve was the one who killed Kirby..." replied Sonic, only to realize that he was in the minority. And that was one of the worst places you could possibly be in. "...I'm so sorry, Tails."
"Crash, you know what to do..." Crash, who was keeping Coco company, walked over to Tails as he grabbed the yellow fox and dragged him away.
"You guys can't vote me off, I'm innocent!" Tails said to the crewmates before Crash opened the front door and flung Tails out of it. Crash then dusted off his hands, as he closed the front door back.
Coco: Anyone who gets voted off has to stay outside the mansion until the next round begins. As for the crewmates that are killed? Whoever finds their "body" transports them to the lounge, where there's plenty of snacks to keep them company. Like those cinnamon rolls I found at the idol singers' potluck party! *pauses* Hopefully Tsubasa and the others assume that a ghost took them.
"I regret to inform you this, but Tails...was NOT the imposter," stated Coco; the crewmates all grunted, while the imposter, Master Hand, quietly giggled to himself like a little child. "The imposter is still at large, so good luck!"
To lower the risk of being killed off, Soren wanted to keep to himself and be a lone wolf roaming around the mansion. However, that was impossible for the wind sage when Ike was around. Ike and Soren were walking together through the hallway, and no matter how many times Soren tried to walk away from Ike, Ike always caught up to his main man.
"Remember, Soren, if we want to survive we have to stick together!" Ike reminded Soren, having given the wind sage the same remainder a thousand times already. Soren was just staring into space, contemplating his life choices. "You want the imposter to kill us?"
"Why did I even agree to play this game..." mumbled Soren, who didn't even bother to perform any of the tasks on the task list Coco had given him. In fact, he even threw his list in the first trash can he spotted.
"Because you're the best Among Us player there is! Man, the two of us should've been imposters. We would've been on a killing spree, killing every crewmate in our sight!"
"Yes, and then I would kill myself out of my own misery." That got a laugh out of Ike, as the swordsman laughed and smacked Soren on his back. Soren eventually got used to those back slaps, over time.
"Misery? What misery? You're probably the happiest man I've ever known! Don't know why an awesome guy like you would sell yourself so low..."
Suddenly the lights in the hallway went out, making it dark as Ike was caught by surprise. When the lights turned back on, Ike looked towards Soren...and saw him lying "dead" on the floor, his detector bracelet flashing.
"SOOOOOOORRREEEEEEEN!" screeched Ike, acting as if Soren was killed off for real, as he knelt down at the wind sage's side and shook him. "Who did this to you, who killed you Soren?!"
"Everything alright, buddy?" asked Diddy as he came over to Ike, seeing how greatly distressed the swordsman was. "Why are you overreacting?"
"Who killed this man?!" Demanding answers at once, Ike grabbed Diddy and held the spidermonkey by his collar. "Bet it was you, wasn't it?!"
"Ike, I literally just got here! All I know is that the lights went out, and I got super scared for no reason, and I blame myself for sleeping with a nightlight..."
"Of course you would know that the lights went out...because you were the one responsible!" Ike carried Diddy with him, marching angrily down the hallway. Once the coast was clear, Soren opened his eyes and got up.
"About time I got a well-deserved break from that man..." Soren sighed in relief as he walked away, wondering what snacks waited for him in the lounge. Those cinnamon rolls should still be in supply.
Ike reported Soren's "death" to Coco, and he brought whom he believed was the culprit, Diddy Kong, with him. Coco would gather up all the crewmates and Master Hand in the foyer, so Ike could prove how guilty Diddy was.
"This dumb primate turned off the lights in the hallway, so he could stealthily kill my man Soren," explained Ike, looking at Diddy with heavy contempt; never had he held that much disdain towards the spidermonkey before. "He even played it off by pretending to be scared!"
"I wasn't pretending, and I was nowhere near Soren!" Diddy pleaded his case, although none of the crewmates believed it. Master Hand kept away in the back of the foyer, so he could laugh in peace. "Ike is just making it all up!"
Master Hand: Hehehe...it was me who turned off the lights and killed off Soren. I was the one who got Diddy implicated! Real Gs always move in silence...
"Anyone who wishes to object, say I," Coco asked Master Hand and the crewmates, and nobody said a single word. "Crash, you know the drill!" Crash would snatch Diddy away from Ike, taking the spidermonkey with him.
"I'll get you for this, Ike!" Diddy vowed to the swordsman before Crash tossed him out of the mansion. Now Tails could have some company.
"Diddy Kong...was NOT the imposter." The crewmates, once again, grunted in response while Master Hand could barely contain his excitement. "But, you still have some time left to find out who the imposter is. The imposter still remains!"
"Gonna keep a close eye on all of you..." Sonic said to the crewmates, as the remaining participants went their separate ways. Master Hand, however, would stay behind to ask Coco a question.
"Is there a way I can win the game without killing everyone?" Master Hand asked Coco, showing some willingness to spare a crewmate or two. "I really don't want to kill Steve...let's just say he's still a little fresh around here."
"Well, the only other way to win is by sabotage," replied Coco; Master Hand knew a thing or two about sabotage. "Whether it's causing a reactor meltdown, closing all the doors, or even turning off all the lights. We chose not to do any sabotaging because of..."
"That's all the info I needed to know! Ciao!" Before Coco could even finish her explanation, Master Hand vanished away, ready to do some sabotaging. Master Hand only had one objective in mind...and that was to win.
"I wasn't even finished explaining...oh, I hope he doesn't do what I think he's gonna do..."
Simon was still conflicted about giving his honest thoughts on Master Hand - so much, that the vampire hunter was hiding in the bathroom with the door locked. Cloud and Link stood outside the door, with the cameraman.
"Can't hide in there forever, Simon," Cloud called out to the vampire hunter, before knocking on the door. "Come out, and get this over with!"
"No...you can't make me!" shouted Simon, sounding more conflicted by the minute. He just didn't have it in him to tell a single fib. "Leave me alone!"
"Everything alright with Simon?" Researcher Zelda asked Cloud and Link, as she and Zelda approached the two swordsmen. A female camerawoman was with the princess duo.
"Poor guy's bent out of shape because he's too chicken to give his honest opinion on Master Hand," Link explained to the princesses, who knew the fear all too well - several of the residents they've interviewed were scared to death at the thought of speaking negatively about Master Hand. "He's been hiding in the bathroom like a coward, and nothing we do can bring him out."
"Obviously he can't hide in there forever," stated Zelda, as Simon heard every word spoken outside the bathroom. Probably didn't appreciate Link dissing him like that. "He's going to have to man up, and..."
Zelda would soon be interrupted when the lights went out. Apparently, the outage didn't just take place in the hallway Zelda and company were in, for there were people screaming in the nearby hallway and beyond.
"Who dared to turn off the lights?!" shouted Simon, who was rarely afraid of the dark...at least until this moment in time. "Whoever it was, I'll whip you!"
"Pretty weird time to be having a power outage..." remarked Cloud, as he heard all the residents freaking out and such. Could it be that someone forgot to pay the mansion's light bill?
Quite frankly, that wasn't the case, as Master Hand returned to the foyer giggling to himself. Crash and Coco saw a few folks running through the foyer, acting like an apocalypse was on the horizon.
"Master Hand what did you do, why are all the lights off?" Coco questioned the giant hand, the light from her laptop monitor illuminating the foyer. Master Hand was feeling accomplished; almost wanted to put a championship belt around his waist, if he had either one. "The lights have been turned off, and everyone is going bananas!"
"I turned off the circuit-breaker box in the garage, as part of my sabotage," Master Hand confessed to Coco, who looked at the giant hand like he was completely out of his mind. "So that means I win! Give me my win!"
"Master Hand, there has to be a sabotage countdown, and it must run out in order for you to win. That's why we forfeited the sabotage for our game!"
"Fine, I'll just have to do the countdown myself! Since you wanna make things difficult...ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five..."
"Master Hand, someone turned off the lights," Fox said to the giant hand, coming from the living room where the potluck party took place. He had to use his cellphone as a flashlight "How are we gonna enjoy our party in the dark? With stinking candles?"
"I refuse to turn the lights back on until Coco gives me my win. So Coco, give me my win already so Fox can continue his party!"
"No can do, Master Hand - you can't sabotage to win the game," Coco said to the giant hand, greatly testing his patience. "Maybe if you stuck around and listened to me..."
"Sorry, Fox, but Coco doesn't want your potluck party to continue. This is entirely her fault, not mine. So I suggest taking it up with her if you want to..."
"Hey, what happened to all the lights?" asked Pit, as the remaining crewmates all returned to the foyer. "Coco, I thought that there would be no sabotages!"
"Tried to tell Master Hand that, but he just took off before I could finish explaining," stated Coco, as a lot of blame was shifted towards Master Hand. Master Hand was feeling the pressure, seeing how angry the crewmates were. "Turned off all the lights."
"Why did you do that for, Master Hand?" Joker asked the giant hand, who was feeling the pressure mounting up. Several folks from the living room came out to the foyer, where everyone had their eyes on Master Hand.
"I turned off the lights because...because...I wanted you all to love me!" confessed Master Hand, expecting everyone to be shocked. Instead, the residents just found themselves dumbfounded by Master Hand's revelation.
"So turning off all the lights in the mansion would accomplish that...how exactly?" Joker cocked his head to the side, unable to understand what Master Hand's intentions were. Some of Master Hand's actions were nothing more than an enigma.
"That game you boys were playing, Among Us...I didn't play just to have fun with you all. I just wanted you to appreciate me! For you to take a moment, and realize how much you love me, deep down. How much you love and respect me, as the true leader of the mansion..."
"Is Cloud being the new alpha male getting you all in your feelings, Master Hand?" Ike asked the giant hand, who refused to acknowledge if the swordsman was speaking the truth. "Because you're sure are acting like it!"
"Oh please, like I would let that bother me! It's just that, today's Boss Day, and hardly anyone is showing me their appreciation. Not a single gift for me, or a word of thanks!"
"Boss Day sounds pretty stupid anyways..." remarked Sonic, before Steve covered the hedgehog's mouth. Little did Steve know that he might've potentially saved Sonic's life.
Tails: *seated outside on the porch, with Diddy* Is it just me, or did I hear a bunch of screaming from the mansion?
Diddy Kong: Yeah, I heard it too. Pit probably lost his pants again, or something.
"I spoke with more than half of the residents today, and not a single one of them thanked me for all I've done for them..." continued Master Hand, expecting those in the foyer to take pity on him. "...do they not know the sacrifices I made for them? Have they forgotten the powerful being responsible for putting a roof above their heads?!"
"Maybe they didn't show you any appreciation...because they already assumed you knew how much they appreciate you," theorized Coco, only saying this just to make Master Hand feel satisfied. It seemed to work, as Master Hand's spirits were immediately lifted.
"Are you saying that the residents DO appreciate me? Do they love me, with every fiber of their being?"
"Uh, sure...I guess you can say that. They just have no clue how to show it. People express their feelings in different ways."
"Is it true, do you all love and appreciate me?" Master Hand asked the residents other than Coco, and all of them nodded their heads. Albeit nervously, since they didn't want to catch any flak. "You're not lying to me, are you?"
"I'd say they're being pretty honest..." Taking Coco's word for granted, Master Hand started to feel a bit better, no longer contemplating how loved and appreciated he was.
"Wouldn't say I'm fully content as of yet...but this, this is a good start. So Coco, about that win...is the sabotage still legit?"
"For the love of..." Coco was about to lose it, but seeing that Master Hand was in a better mood, the bandicoot was left with no choice. "...fine, Master Hand, you win. You were the imposter. Now please turn the lights back on!"
"Master Hand was an imposter? That almost sounds like cheating," remarked Pit, with Master Hand heading to the garage as Fox went back to the living room for the potluck party. The crewmates remained in place, as Crash went to go retrieve Tails and Diddy.
"Coco, do you have a minute?" Link asked the bandicoot, as he came over to speak with her. "Got one question - how good are your video editing skills?"
As commanded by Master Hand, Cloud and Zelda had to go around the mansion, asking the residents to give their honest thoughts on Master Hand. Cloud and Zelda would compile everyone's responses on camera, and compiled them in a video made by Coco. Master Hand watched the video in the comfort of his room, on Coco's laptop, with Cloud and Zelda standing by.
"Master Hand is the best leader a man can ask for, Master Hand number one!" Red the Pokemon Trainer said in the video, with a fake audio clip syncing perfectly with the Pokemon trainer's lip movements. The audio even sounded authentic, too.
"So Master Hand, what do you think?" Cloud asked the giant hand, who was slowly moved to tears; every clip in the video showed a resident praising up a storm about Master Hand, and how much the giant hand meant to them. Only thing was, their original voices weren't being used...
"You were right, Coco...these people really do appreciate me!" Master Hand said to the blonde bandicoot, perfectly oblivious to how fabricated the video was. The high remarks were all the giant hand cared about. "Thank you, for letting me see the light!"
Cloud: Simon refused to come out from the bathroom, and because I honestly didn't feel like bothering anyone else, I went with Plan B. Coco made a video with whatever footage Zelda's camerawoman had, and edit some audio over the footage. Make the residents look like they're praising Master Hand. We were in a bit of a time crunch, but we got the job done.
"You know who else I need to thank? Anna," added Master Hand, stunning Cloud and company by speaking about Anna in such a positive light. "Turns out that spending time with the residents does work wonders! Who knew that evil capitalists can give such good advice?"
"She's not an evil capitalist..." stated Zelda, although Master Hand refused to change his mind. Anna could literally stop world hunger all by herself, and Master Hand would still equate her to Bin Laden.
But, Master Hand could take solace in knowing that he was appreciated...even if he wasn't truly appreciated by everyone. Any appreciation was better than nothing.