Author's Note:
If you are reading this (which you already are), please read the author's note I left behind in the previous chapter. It's that end-of-the-year note that I finally finished...in 2021. And as for this chapter...enjoy!
Episode 264: Arrival
It was a new year at the mansion, with a new alpha male at the helm - Cloud Strife. The swordsman, who became the man of the mansion in September of last year, done plenty of things done since he received his spanking new title.
He oversaw many holiday-themed parties, whether it was Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, or New Year's. He brought Pit back to the mansion after the angel decided to take some time away in "solidarity" with Dr. Cortex. And he even embraced welcoming his mortal enemy, Sephiroth, while keeping tabs on the one-winged angel to make sure that he was on his best behavior.
But now, it was time for Cloud to hit the ground running and show everyone in the mansion what he was truly made of. The swordsman gathered everyone in the lecture hall, as he and Zelda had an important meeting to conduct. Master Hand, who put a lot of trust in Cloud and Zelda, gave the duo the full reigns.
"You have complete control over the lecture hall," Master Hand spoke with Cloud and Zelda on stage, as the lecture hall was filling up with residents. "I'll be in the back with Isabelle, cheering you on."
"That's about more than we could ask of you," Cloud said to Master Hand, very appreciative towards the giant hand for keeping himself on the sidelines and not butting in. "Are you sure you won't interfere?"
"Nope! Not one bit. If you see or hear anyone acting out, it's on you guys to sort that person out. I will be as quiet as a mouse, the entire time..."
"Yeah, I don't think that the Seahawks are gonna be making a Super Bowl run this year," Shulk discussed with Junpei, as Master Hand overheard the Homs from afar and gasped out of shock. "They would be lucky to even make it out of the second round!"
"WAS THAT SEATTLE SLANDER I HEARD JUST NOW?!" Master Hand instantly floated over to Shulk, wanting to make an example out of the Homs. "Shulk, you are a dead man, you hear me?! A DEAD MAN!"
"Even in a new year, some things never change," Zelda said to Cloud, smiling as she watched Master Hand put Shulk on full blast. You'd think that Master Hand wanted to kill Shulk with how angry he was with him.
Cloud: 2021...it's the start of a new beginning. Guess you could say that I'm pretty excited, although the look on my face might say otherwise. I got some big plans for this year, and one of them involves a female friend that you might know about. I won't say who this friend is, the answer might be too obvious.
Zelda: Master Hand is giving me and Cloud "more control" over the mansion this year, but I'm not sure what he means by that. No matter what we decide, Master Hand will still have his final say on it. Unless he was talking about having more control over the residents. I would be fine with that. I actually got some of the residents to do some of my biddings...
Donkey Kong: Zelda has been extremely bossy as of late. She's been asking me to give her back rubs...daily! She's got Researcher Zelda as her assistant, why can't she ask her to do back rubs? Is it because I'm a guy, and she's a woman? That sounds pretty sexist if you ask me.
Zelda: *from afar* Oh, Donkey Kong! *rings a bell from afar*
Donkey Kong: *squinches his face* Must resist...must...resist...
Zelda: No, I'm not expecting too much from the residents. Just trying to act like how a princess would. I might give up the reigns if I become too overbearing, though.
"I think that everyone's here," Zelda said to Cloud, seeing that the lecture hall was at full capacity. Which meant that it was time for the meeting to begin. Cloud nodded his head in response, before heading over to Isabelle who was hanging around backstage.
"Do you have the 'secret weapon', Isabelle?" Cloud asked the Shih Tzu, who dug into her pocket and handed Cloud n a gun. One that the swordsman was quick to recognize. "Is this...the same gun that Falco accidentally shot me with?"
"Hope you don't have too many bad memories..." replied Isabelle while giving Cloud a sweet, innocent smile. Cloud would rejoin Zelda on stage, as Zelda saw the firearms in the swordman's hands.
"Cloud..." the princess said to the swordsman out of concern, only for Cloud to hold up the gun and pull the trigger. A very loud gunfire sound was heard, as all the talking in the lecture hall finally ceased.
"Well then...that worked a lot better than I expected." Now that he had everyone's attention, Cloud tossed the gun away, as it landed on the floor below and fired another bullet. "Sorry, that was unintentional."
"Bruh, you almost shot me!" Falco frowned at Cloud while holding his left leg as if Cloud had actually shot him. "You could've killed me, man..."
"Guess that counts as retribution for shooting me in the leg three years ago. Or, four years ago, if we're being technical. New year's got me all messed up..."
"Get on with it already!" the newly returned Cortex stood up and shouted at Cortex; accompanying the evil genius was Uka, who rued every second since Cortex returned to the mansion. "We don't have all day for you to be remembering things..."
"Oh yeah, give it up for Dr. Neo Cortex, everyone. We never officially welcomed him back to the mansion." Cloud started clapping for Cortex, and soon everyone else was forced to follow suit as many were standing up and clapping. "Welcome back, doctor."
"Let's go, Dr. Cortex! You're the man!" Ryuji cheered for Cortex, whistling and clapping for the evil genius. Cortex looked around and saw the reception that he was receiving, and it put a big smile on his face.
"Look at that, Uka - everybody loves me!" Cortex said to the floating mask, who was beginning to wonder if everyone in the lecture hall was snorting crack. "They all love me! I really am a lovable loser!"
"Way to stop Dr. Nitrius Brio in his tracks!" Master Mummy commended Cortex, giving the evil genius all the praise. "You are a real lifesaver!" Cortex almost felt like shedding a tear; he was never this loved before.
"Pretty sure all these people were paid off, somehow," remarked Uka, as the cheering and applauding slowly began to die down in the lecture hall. "Either that or I'm living in a nightmare..."
Ryuji: Yeah, I was paid off by Cloud to hype up Dr. Cortex. Those three-hundred dollars were too hard to pass up.
"If it wasn't for Cortex, this mansion would've been blown to smithereens," stated Cloud, and the very fact that Cortex saved the day on New Year's Eve made Cortex very, very proud. "So we can always thank him for his selfless efforts."
"Hopefully what I did last week wasn't a part of my villain decay," Cortex remarked with a slight giggle, fearing that he might be losing some of his edge. It was a concern of his ever since he joined the mansion back in 2017.
"Anyway, time to get down to business. So, as you already know, we added a bunch of folks to the mansion. Steve, Alex, Zombie, Enderman, Travis Touchdown...and Sephiroth." Cloud had to let out a sigh before mentioning Sephiroth.
"So nice of you to acknowledge my presence, Cloud," snarled Sephiroth, who sat at the front of the lecture hall as he wanted an up-close look at his arch-nemesis. Wanted to see how good he was at the whole meeting thing.
"Shut up, Sephiroth...now before I continue, did we lose anyone here at the mansion? There's so many of us, it's hard to keep track of everyone."
"I think we might've lost Peppy Hare," assumed Ribbon Girl, as the residents started murmuring about Peppy among themselves. "I haven't seen him at the New Year's Eve party, or during Christmas!"
"Peppy might've died...and we never even knew about it!" panicked Toon Link, as this concerning thought entered the minds of many of the residents. "Dang it, we should've found a coroner when we had a chance..."
"Rabbits usually live for like one to two years, anyways," stated Young Link, who was less surprised than everyone else about Peppy being potentially dead. "Peppy was living on borrowed time his entire life."
"You nitwits...I'm still alive!" shouted a certain hare, as everyone looked to the back of the lecture hall and saw Peppy seated with Slippy. Many of the residents let out sighs of relief. "Always have been, always will be..."
Peppy: Been hearing a lot of rumors about me, about how I supposedly died last year or something like that. Everyone is so quick to put me out into pasture! Where is the respect for the elderly these days?
"Glad you're still here with us, Peppy Hare," Cloud said to the rabbit, who was disgruntled that the thought of him being dead was even entertained. "Now, time to get to the heart of the matter...there will be two new residents joining us today."
"Yes, Sombra and Reaper are joining the mansion!" cheered Pit, who tried to form some kind of friendship with the Talon operatives. Sombra did her best to return the angel's friendly advances, while Reaper wanted to kill Pit one way or another. "Our first Hispanic residents, and we're getting two of 'em!"
"Yes, let's ignore the man who speaks Spanish and has a Spanish accent..." grumbled Meta Knight as he folded his arms; he couldn't blame Pit for forgetting about his Hispanic heritage.
"You might be Hispanic, Meta Knight, but you're not authentic Hispanic." Meta Knight was unsure of whether he should feel offended by that or not. "Now Sombra and Reaper, those two are the real deal!"
"Sombra and Reaper are NOT coming to the mansion," clarified Cloud, as Pit snapped his fingers in disgust. So much for having a few Hispanic friends. "Joining the mansion will be two of my friends, Tifa Lockhart and Barret Wallace. I'm sure you all know them."
"We already know who they are, we're not idiots," stated Samus, leading Cloud to give the bounty hunter a scolding glare. One that Samus certainly did not see coming. "Uh, I mean...carry on!"
"I want Tifa and Barret's welcome to the mansion to go as smoothly as possible, so we'll be doing things differently. Which means...Banjo, Kazooie, you'll be temporarily replaced on the welcoming committee."
"But I had baked a blueberry pie for the new guys!" said Banjo, showing a blueberry pie that looked moldy and rotten. And smelly, too, as a few nearby residents had to hold their noses. "Kept it hidden in my closet since mid-December. Used up all the blueberries!"
"So that's where all the blueberries went..." said Palutena, who was wondering for weeks why the mansion's blueberry supply was so low. "...I needed them for my blueberry cobbler."
"You mean the same blueberry cobbler that got us all sick?" Pigma frowned at Palutena, as the goddess of light's cobbler gave him and several others an upset stomach. "Was it part of your plan to make some local hospital reach full capacity?"
"You know, Pigma, you didn't have to eat the cobbler. Granted, I have to force every single one of you to try out my food, which is sad enough on its own..."
"Can you all just be quiet and let Cloud speak?" yelled Zelda, sounding like an annoyed high school teacher, as Palutena and Pigma quickly shut their mouths. They knew they had dun goofed up when they made the stoic Zelda angry. "Cloud, you were saying?"
"If only I had a dollar for every time I got interrupted..." Cloud mumbled to himself, before continuing with the meeting. "...we'll be rolling out a new welcoming committee, but only just for today. R.O.B., I want you, Ray, and Chibi-Robo to clean out the new room."
"WE GOT IT COVERED...CLOUD STRIFE..." assured R.O.B. as it saluted the swordsman; Chibi-Robo, being a cleaning robot by nature, would likely do most (or all) of the work.
"Great. Now one more thing: since this is Tifa and Barret's first day living at the mansion, I want everyone here to be on their best..."
"Yeah, yeah, we know...you want us to 'be on our best behavior!'" Bowser said sardonically, before folding his arms and looking off into the distance. "Treating us like we're a bunch of little kids..."
"Glad that you got the memo, King Bowser. Guess I said everything that I needed to say, so...Zelda, would you like to add anything?"
"I have a message, but only for the single men in attendance," replied Zelda as she stepped up to the front of the lecture hall stage, clearing her throat before giving out her message. "Please don't treat Tifa like a zoo animal. I know she's very pretty, and you all are desperate for affection, but please don't creep her out any."
"It's a good thing I got a girlfriend, then..." remarked Captain Falcon, laying back comfortably in his seat with his feet rested on the chair in front of him, while most of the male residents grunted in disapproval to Zelda's message.
"Can I still take pictures of Tifa?" asked Geo Stelar, as Zelda furrowed her brow at him; Geo eyed around the lecture hall nervously, with sweat pouring down his face. "Like for, you know...research purposes..."
"...I guess. But I better not see you making a shrine out of Tifa. For that would be creepiness overload. Just treat her like how you treat any other woman."
"If you need any help building a shrine, I'm your man," Corrin whispered to Geo Stelar as he patted him assuringly on his shoulder. Geo gently grabbed Corrin's hand and pushed it away.
Mario: Christmas and New Year's was pretty fun and-a all, but one-a person was missing during the fun...Aerith Gainsborough! I thought for sure-a that Cloud and Master Hand would bring-a her back to town, but I think that Sephiroth joining the mansion messed-a things up. A shame, too, since I wanted to ask-a if the Cloud in her universe was a great-a dancer just like our universe's Cloud. Have you seen-a Cloud pop, drop, and lock it before? 'Cause I have! Bet he had to get out-a of his eternal emo phase to bust-a those moves.
Mario might've missed seeing Aerith again, but it was all good because he still had Peony and Peonia to keep him and the others at home company. Peony and his daughter were still in Seattle, with Peony still looking to fully reconnect with Peonia. He made some good progress when Peonia stood up for him during the snowball fight in episode 261, so how was he coming along so far?
"Hey Peonia, wanna hear a dad joke?" Peony asked Peonia, who was sitting on a couch in Mario's living room trying to read a book. The explorer appeared out of nowhere, nearly scaring the crap out of poor Peonia.
"No thank you, I'm reading a book," replied Peonia, attempting to show her dad how engrossed she was in her book by staring deeply into it. "I'm on the last chapter." Actually, Peonia was in the middle of the book, but Peony still bought the excuse.
"That's nice, my dear! But I guarantee you that book has a killer ending. You can...book it!" Peony would laugh at his own dad joke, falling to the floor as he laughed and slammed his fist repeatedly.
"I see that skeleton's been teaching you some jokes..." Peonia looked up and saw Mario on the sofa, laughing along with Peony. "...really, Mario? You two?"
"Hey, I'm a dad, it's-a my duty to laugh at dad-a jokes," responded Mario, as Peonia shuddered at the thought of Jennifer having to suffer endlessly from Mario's lousy dad jokes. She couldn't imagine what kind of poor upbringing she would have.
"Cornrows instead of an afro...not very classy," Hunter said to himself as he passed through the living room, writing down notes on a notepad. Mario stopped laughing, as he saw Hunter pass by, and was curious.
"'Not very classy'? What-a the..." Getting up off the couch, Mario followed Hunter to the laundry room, where he saw the cheetah jotting down notes like there was no tomorrow. Hunter sat on an overturned laundry basket, tapping his pen against his temple as he thought to himself.
"And he doesn't have a child of the same race either, so that's not classy either. Guess that's why he and his wife got divorced...I think." Hunter couldn't possibly be writing down notes about Peony...so who was his new focus?
"May I ask why you are writing those-a notes?" Mario asked Hunter, as Spyro came into the laundry room. Mario looked down and spotted the purple dragon. "Spyro, what is your friend-a up to this time?"
"Well, the good news is, he's no longer obsessed with Peony," explained Spyro, although Mario had no idea of Hunter's prior obsession with Peony. Not that he cared that much. "But the bad news? He's concerned about the new guy at the mansion..."
"Who, Sephiroth? I don't think you want to mess-a with Sephiroth, Hunter. Take it from-a me!" Mario knew from experience since he tried to greet Sephiroth last month...and almost got impaled by Sephiroth's Masamune. Kinda like in a certain reveal trailer...
"No, it's not Sephiroth...thank goodness. It's the other new guy. One of Cloud's friends, Barret Wallace." Soon the name "Barret Wallace" registered in Mario's mind...and Mario knew that Hunter wouldn't stand a chance against Barret either.
"I've been doing some research on Mr. Wallace, sounds like he's no good," Hunter said to Mario, a hundred percent that Barret was not what he seemed. "Dude's definitely hiding something."
"Barret's one of the most wholesome-a guys you would ever know," Mario told Hunter, having seen a first-hand glimpse of Barret's caring and passionate demeanor. Barret wasn't really as aggressive as he looked. "What secrets could-a he possibly be hiding?"
"He has a gun arm...an obvious sign of him being evil. I should write that one down!" And write it down Hunter did, as he furiously scribbled away on his notepad. Spyro shook his head at the cheetah.
Hunter: We all know the story of how Barret really adopted his daughter, Marlene. He killed Marlene's parents on purpose, just so he could take their daughter and claim her as his own! And don't give me any crap about, "But Hunter, Barret and Marlene's dad were best friends!" Please. If Barret was truly a great friend, he would've let Child Protective Services do their jobs and let them take in Marlene, rather than doing it himself. Says a lot about his character.
"He's never met-a Barret before, has he?" Mario quietly discussed with Spyro, as Hunter was brainstorming of more stuff to write down on his list.
"Barret was in town in April, right?" asked Spyro, who recalled seeing Tifa, Barret, and Red XIII when they arrived at the mansion. "Yeah, I don't think that Hunter ever met Barret. Might've been obsessing over Ruby and her friends, at the time."
"Oh yeah, that is right! I'll never understand-a why Hunter loves to hold unnecessary grudges against-a others. Was he always like this?"
"Not exactly, but Hunter sure loves to see himself as a hero. Could be why he designates random people as villains. Like Peony."
"How could I forget? Barret is an eco-terrorist!" exclaimed Hunter as he wrote this factoid down on his notepad. "Eco-terrorism, or any kind of terrorism for that matter, is never cool."
"We should just keep Hunter at home," Spyro advised Mario, not wishing for his best friend to get into any trouble with Barret. Or even Tifa, for that matter. "Barret would snap him like a twig!"
"I'll do my best-a to keep him at bay..." Mario assured Spyro, watching as Hunter kept writing away on his notepad before he and Spyro left the premises.
Cloud mentioned earlier that he had some big plans this year, and right now the swordsman was trying to make those big plans happen. He was in his room, speaking with someone, as Sonic and Crash passed by Cloud's room.
"Hey, Crash, you hear that?" Sonic asked the bandicoot, overhearing a conversation from behind Cloud's creaked bedroom door. Sonic and Crash curiously took a peek inside Cloud's room through the creaked door...and saw Cloud speaking with Kamek.
"Just so you're aware, this is no easy task, even for me!" Kamek stressed to Cloud, making sure that he knew about the complexity of whatever task the swordsman gave to him. "This isn't a walk in the park."
"I know, but I still think you can get it done," Cloud said to Kamek, giving the Magikoopa all of his confidence. Sonic stroked his chin in thought, having a slight suspicion of what Cloud wanted Kamek to do. "You came through for Fawful."
"Yes, and Cackletta too, by extension...I sure do hate this position that I put myself in. Stupid Dr. Eggman, holding my princess doll set for ransom...erm, which was for my daughter, mind you."
"Does that imply that you're married? Poor wife..." It seemed abundantly clear that Cloud wanted a certain someone back from the dead, but who could it possibly be? The answer might be obvious.
"Have you boys not learned that it's rude to eavesdrop on others?" Aku scolded Sonic and Crash as he showed up at Cloud's bedroom door, with Sonic quietly shushing the floating mask. "Fine then, enjoy being Lady Palutena's cooking maids again, for all I care..."
"If we want this to go smoothly, you have to do some things on your end," Kamek explained to Cloud, as Aku now found himself listening in on the conversation between Cloud and Kamek. "You'll have to bring the person-of-interest back to Seattle."
"Easier said than done; Dr. Wily has that covered," assured Cloud, as Sonic's growing suspicions were slowly becoming more concrete. "Anything else that I have to do beyond that?"
"Not much - just keep them engaged with everyone else as much as possible. Then once we're ready, we can do...the transfer. Fingers crossed that we don't screw that one up."
"You can say that again. This will be our own little secret, for now..." Suddenly, Crash let out a giant sneeze, one so big that he caused him and Sonic to fall forward and send Cloud's bedroom door wide open. The bandicoot and hedgehog landed inside Cloud's room, as Kamek shrieked at the sight of them.
"Welp! Now's my time to scram! Hasta luego, Cloud!" Kamek quickly hopped on his room and flew out of Cloud's window, hoping that Sonic and Crash didn't hear too much...
Kamek: What Cloud and I discussed back there is nobody's concern, it's purely confidential. I won't say too much about it. You might say that whatever we have planned, is like a belated Christmas gift. One that was mostly held up by Sephiroth's presence. *gasps, then covers his mouth* Think I might've said too much right there...
"Can't even let me have private discussions, can we?" Cloud said to Sonic and Crash, speaking to them like how a disappointed father would. Sonic and Crash stood up, trying to present themselves as innocent. "Why are you even here?"
"We wanted to make a humble request if you don't mind," replied Sonic, as Cloud folded his arms as he waited to hear the humble request that Sonic and Crash had for him. "Crash...and I...want to be a part of the welcoming committee!"
"Well, you're too late - I already signed up Link and Champion Link to do it. You're too slow, Sonic - very unlike you." Cloud would soon find himself confused, as Sonic wagged his finger at the swordsman in a disappointing manner. "Why are you wagging your finger...?"
"Tsk, tsk, tsk...I'm ashamed in you, Cloud." Cloud looked around, confused as to what Sonic was even getting at. "Making Link and Champion Link members of the welcoming committee, really?"
"I mean, they're not very bad choices. At least they know how to conduct themselves when welcoming new members of the mansion. Something that you two could never be trusted with."
"You know what assigning the Links to the welcoming committee is called? Nepotism. You're out here giving those Hylians opportunities, only because they're your only friends!"
"That's not entirely true; I just want to make a good first impression on Tifa and Barret." Notice how Cloud said "not entirely"; Sonic believed that those words helped with his argument.
"What's next? You're gonna give your fellow swordsmen opportunities too?! Is Chrom gonna be the new party planner? Is Shulk gonna handle the mansion's finances from now on? Will the Luminary replace Palutena as one of the mansion's cooks? Not that I would complain about that..."
"Look, Sonic, what are you even getting at? Just stop your endless ranting, and tell me what you want." Sonic had the perfect proposal for Cloud, smiling as he rubbed his hands together.
"How about this...you make me and Crash a part of the welcoming committee. And Aku can join too if he's interested. As they always say, four heads are better than two..."
"Nobody has ever said that, in the history of ever. But let's say that I turn down your offer...what would you do then?"
"Easy - we'll go around telling everyone else about your 'little secret' with Kamek." Cloud couldn't afford to let anyone know about his secret plans, even if it came out of Sonic's mouth. "Starting with Master Hand!"
"So that's the game you wanna play, huh? I'll play by your terms. But if I hear you tell anyone about what Kamek and I discussed, you're gonna get it, Sonic. You and Crash."
"What about me?" Aku asked Cloud, as the fear of missing out was slowly becoming his identity. Cloud just looked at Aku for a brief moment, before looking back at Sonic. "Ignored yet again...I'll deal with it this time."
"Don't do anything weird in front of Tifa and Barret, okay? The last thing I'd want is for them to think that you're a goofball."
"That's why I have Crash here, he can be the goofball," stated Sonic as he patted Crash on his back; Crash gave a thumbs-up to Cloud, who sighed. "It's what he likes to do best!"
"Hopefully he can give his 'worst' performance today...now leave the room, you two." So Sonic and Crash left Cloud's room without any trouble, as Aku followed behind the two friends. "You better come through, Kamek..."
Finances were always a big deal to Fox, Falco, and Itsuki when it came to being in charge of Star Records. When Master Hand repeatedly stole money from the record label to fund his own Lamborghini, the three heads of Star Records always felt skittish when it came to letting others use the label's money.
But now, the trio could finally live in simple, peaceful times. Itsuki successfully sold the Lamborghini to a car dealership, and Master Hand stopped caring about the Lamborghini altogether when Anna was alleged to have come in contact with the vehicle. For Master Hand, the Lamborghini now felt like a distant memory to him.
Fox: Even with Master Hand no longer stealing money out of our Star Records account, we still have to deal with some money issues. None of which are egregious, mind you. It's just the fact that our employees keep asking us to borrow money for stupid crap. Touma? Needed six hundred dollars to buy "authentic" Power Ranger suits for his Force Five series. Little Mac? Wanted seven hundred dollars for new workout equipment. Mamori? Asked for a thousand dollars just so she could purchase some "barbecue pork rock". The heck is that even supposed to be? If those chumps wanted those items so much, they should just get a job. Oh wait, that's right...THEY ALREADY HAVE ONE! *groans*
"How's the bank statement looking so far, Mr. Aoi?" Fox asked Itsuki, who was skimming through the bank statement on his personal laptop while the Star Fox pilots were playing the classic board game of Monopoly. "Haha, Falco, you landed on the jail space again!"
"I can't go to jail, I have rights," Falco said defiantly, with Fox giving the avian pilot a dubious stare. Falco quickly shuffled through the Monopoly cards. "C'mon, there's gotta be a get-out-of-jail-free card in here somewhere..."
"How nice of you to make me do all the work, while you two have fun," a rather salty Ituski said to Fox and Falco, as his eyelids were drooping from boredom.
"Way to take one for the team, Itsuki. You're coming off as very selfish right now!" Suddenly Itsuki's drooping eyes instantly went wide, as he saw something in the bank statement that caught his attention.
"Uh oh...looks like someone stole a huge chunk out of our account." Fox and Falco dropped everything when they heard this, as they joined Itsuki at his laptop and stared at the screen.
"Yikes, ten grand out of our account?!" Ten grand was the amount of money Master Hand usually stole from Star Records. "That's messed up. You don't think that any of our employees stole the money, do you?"
"I bet you it was Ashley who did it," Falco replied without hesitation, with Fox and Itsuki giving him weird looks. "When crap goes down, always blame the witch. That's my personal motto. One of them, actually."
"That's a pretty crappy personal motto to have," said Fox, as Falco wanted to make a snappy comeback only to know that the odds were against him. "Itsuki, is there anything that we can do?"
"Seems like an investigation is underway," replied Itsuki as he closed his laptop, and got up out of his chair. The young man was ready to get down to business. "But first, we should take this matter up to Master Hand. Make sure he hasn't gone back to his old ways."
"Right, and then we take up the issue to Ashley and fire her from Star Records for stealing our money," suggested Falco, as Fox and Itsuki both exchanged dubious looks with each other. "That girl can't be trusted, I'm telling you..."
Link and Champion Link waited outside the mansion, ready to greet the newcomers Tifa and Barret. You could say that both Links were unprepared, but they established a pretty good rapport with both Tifa and Barret back in episode 225. However, they were both unprepared for the new members that would be joining them on the welcoming committee.
"Oh no..." fretted Link when he saw Sonic, Crash, and Aku exit the mansion and join him and Champion Link outside. The Hylian had no ill will towards Crash and Aku, but it was Sonic that had him the most concerned.
"Guess what, guys? Cloud made us a part of today's welcoming committee!" Sonic told the good news to Link and Champion Link, with the former having a strong amount of indignation building up inside of him. "We call ourselves...the Fab Five!"
"I don't believe you, this has to be a joke," Link said to Sonic, thinking that the blue hedgehog was pulling his tail. "Cloud wouldn't be that stupid to make you a part of the..."
"In case you're wondering, Link, I kinda caved in," Cloud poked his head outside the front door and confessed to Link, who quickly looked back at the swordsman with a shocked face. "So yeah...deal with it."
"Are you serious, Cloud?!" Cloud was indeed serious, as he retracted his head back inside the mansion and slammed the door. Link grunted in frustration, rubbing his hands down his face as Sonic took out a chili dog.
"You know, I always love meeting new people," replied Sonic, as he took a bite out of his chili dog while Link glared at him. "Tifa and Barret obviously aren't new, but you guys know what I mean..."
Champion Link: Lived at this mansion long enough to see that Link and Sonic never really got along. Not sure why though, you'd think that those two would be like two peas in a pod. I mean, Sonic isn't that bad...well, aside from the time where he accidentally dropped my toothbrush in the toilet...or that one instance where he nearly broke my Sheikah Slate...not to mention the whole "catfish" incident involving me and Samus...come to think of it, I'm starting to see where Link resents Sonic so much.
"Here they are!" alerted Aku as he saw B.D. Joe pulling up to the mansion's driveway in his taxi. In his taxi were the new mansion residents - Tifa Lockhart and Barret Wallace.
"We have arrived...the Smash Mansion!" B.D. Joe said to Tifa and company, as his passengers got out of the taxi. B.D. Joe sure knew how to come through for Master Hand. "I will now be accepting my fare."
"We don't have to owe you anything," Barret said to B.D. Joe, shocking the taxi driver with his defiance before smiling gently. "Ha, just kidding! Here's a couple of bucks for all your trouble." Barret handed B.D. Joe a five-dollar bill, which didn't satisfy the taxi driver.
"That's it? I only get a measly five bucks? Why not twenty?" Barret would respond by grabbing B.D. Joe's collar with both hands, before pulling the taxi driver up to his face. B.D. Joe looked away, shivering slightly.
"I'ma give you a twenty-dollar butt-whoopin' if you don't take the money..." Wanting no trouble with Barret, B.D. Joe gingerly accepted the five-dollar bill as he pulled it out of the eco-terrorist's hand. Barret aggressively tossed B.D. Joe back in his taxi.
"Enjoy living at the mansion, you two, have a nice day!" B.D. Joe said to Tifa and Barret as he immediately backed out of the driveway and drove off. Barret watched as B.D. Joe drove away, dusting off his hands.
"You didn't have to be so rough with him," Tifa said to Barret, who believed that B.D. Joe got exactly what he deserved. "Had him scared to death!"
"Hehe...you know I don't do so well with upsellers," responded Barret with a grin; safe to say that he and Anna would most likely never get along. "I was just trying to teach him a lesson!"
"Whatever. Let's just head on inside." So Tifa and Barret walked to the mansion entrance, where they saw the welcoming committee standing around. "Wonder what surprises Cloud has in store for us."
"Greetings, you two," Link said to Tifa and Barret, as he and Champion Link were acting all cordial and classy. "As friends of Cloud Strife, Champion Link and I would formally like to welcome you both to..."
"Hey, hey, hey! Look who it is!" exclaimed Sonic as he and Crash brushed past the two Links, en route to Tifa and Barret. Sonic held out his hand to Barret for some dap, as Barret just stared at the hedgehog's hand. "C'mon, Wallace! Put it in there!"
"What is this hedgehog's problem?" Barret asked the Links and Aku as he pointed at Sonic; his worst fears realized, Link pinched the crown of his nose, shaking his head. "He was never this friendly last time I saw him!"
"Really, you're just gonna leave me hanging? Forget you, man..." Sonic pulled his hand back from Barret, before walking over to Tifa...and holding out his hand to her for some dap. "C'mon, Lockhart! Put it in there!"
"I don't think so..." replied Tifa, before punching Sonic in the gut and sending the hedgehog down to the ground in pain. "...see, Barret? That simple. All you had to do!" Sonic was left wheezing in pain, as Link chuckled at the hedgehog's expense.
"Yup...should've totally seen that one coming..." wheezed Sonic, the pain in his midsection increasing by tenfold as Crash helped his friend up to his feet.
"Sorry about that brief interruption, you two," Link apologized to Tifa and Barret as he and Champion Link walked over to the two newcomers. "As I was saying...welcome to the Smash Mansion. You're now residents!"
"Congratulations," Champion Link congratulated Tifa and Barret as he clapped his hands; he looked around and saw that he was only one clapping, which made things rather awkward. "Oh, we're not clapping?"
"Never said that we would...please forgive the Champ, he's kind of new to this welcome committee thing." Champion Link clapped at a gradually slower pace before he stopped clapping altogether.
"Welcome committee, huh?" smirked Tifa, as Champion Link awkwardly placed his hands back in his pockets - almost sticking them into his blue tunic. "Let me guess, Cloud put you boys up to it."
"You could say that he did...but someone had to step up to the plate. Although some of us were unwelcome..." Link looked back at Sonic, who was back to standing on his feet thanks to Crash.
"Hey, you were being too boring and practical!" Sonic snapped on Link, holding his stomach as he still felt the pain from Tifa's punch. Being a skilled martial artist, Tifa sure knew how to hit hard! "You were talking like the British. Like you were part of the Royal Guard and junk."
"Whatever, let's just head on inside. The sooner we get this over with, the sooner you will leave me alone..."
So the welcoming committee let Tifa and Barret inside the foyer, and it was perfect timing too. Banjo was coming down the stairs, and he brought his blueberry pie with him.
"Tifa! Barret! I baked you some pie!" the bear called out to the two, before tripping down the stairs and dropping his pie in the process. Banjo landed face-first into the pie, as Sonic snorted. "Don't worry, it's still edible!"
"I agree wholeheartedly," replied Kazooie, eating away at the blueberry smeared all over Banjo's face. Banjo got up, but with the smashed blueberries in his eyes, the poor bear was temporarily blind.
"We can fully assure you that the bear over there isn't part of the welcoming committee," Link assured Tifa and Barret as Banjo walked into a wall, falling back unto the floor with a thud. Sonic was laughing hysterically, as he grabbed Aku and held him in front of his face to conceal his laughter.
"I know I'm a mask and all, but this feels wrong!" frowned Aku, being subjected to Sonic's nonstop laughter. Moving her attention from Banjo, Tifa saw a certain one-winged angel near the vicinity of the foyer.
"Is that Sephiroth?" the martial artist asked, squinting her eyes as she spotted the one-winged angel in question speaking with Mechanica. Instead of bringing despair to Mechanica, Sephiroth...was actually doing a solid for the genius.
"Awesome, you fixed my thermos!" Mechanica said to Sephiroth, who handed her a thermos; Tifa and Barret couldn't believe what they were seeing, never imagining that Sephiroth did a favor for somebody. "How did you did it?"
"All I did was attach the handle back on with glue," explained Sephiroth, ashamed that Mechanica couldn't fix her thermos herself. Made him believe that the genius wasn't even much of a genius at all. "Even a toddler could do it."
"Thank you so much Sephiroth! You're the best!" Mechanica held out her arms, wanting to hug Sephiroth. Tifa and Barret were looking on curiously - would Sephiroth go through with it?
"You're welcome...I suppose." Mechanica would catch Sephiroth off-guard by hugging him, and Sephiroth, begrudgingly...would hug Mechanica right back. The awkwardness building inside the one-winged angel was truly at an all-time high. Tifa and Barret couldn't believe what they were seeing.
"That Sephiroth has got to be an imposter..." Tifa remarked quietly, as Barret was slightly laughing out of disbelief. Wanted to laugh harder, but not at the risk of catching Sephiroth's attention and getting a taste of his Masamune.
Isabelle: Cloud wanted Sephiroth to look like he turned over a new leaf, in time for Tifa and Barret's arrival, so he gave me a to-do list for making Sephiroth appear "reformed". Just having Sephiroth doing a bunch of wholesome tasks, like petting Lucas' pet dog Boney or helping Dunban make some bread pudding. I've had a few residents help out, to some extent.
Pit: Isabelle asked me not only to break the handle off of Mechanica's thermos but also to give Sephiroth the glue to put the handle back on. Did I want to break Mechanica's thermos? Not at all - I wouldn't even wish it on my worst enemy! But did I enjoy it? *smiles deviously while tapping his fingers together*
"I would greatly appreciate it if you stopped hugging me..." Sephiroth said to Mechanica, looking up and seeing Tifa and Barret staring at him. If the one-winged angel had emotion, he would be feeling extremely embarrassed.
"Yeah, you're right, I'm probably making you feel very uncomfortable," responded Mechanica as she finally ended the hug, before dusting off Sephiroth's black shoulder pad. "Thanks again for fixing my thermos!"
"As you saw there, Sephiroth has been acting unlike his usual self," Link explained to Tifa and Barret, as Sephiroth quickly walked away to avoid being judged. "He's been very nice to the other residents!"
"Well, Cloud did tell us that Sephiroth hasn't been as 'evil' as he used to be," remarked Tifa, as Mechanica walked away with her thermos. "Did someone whip him into shape?"
"The buddy cops did," replied Sonic, as Tifa and Barret found the hedgehog's claim to be quite laughable. "It's true, they wouldn't shut up about it..."
"You mean Toon Link and Young Link?" chuckled Barret, who had a run-in with the buddy cops the last time he visited the mansion. "Those kids punked out when they tried to arrest me for trafficking Marlene! You think they would even mess around with Sephiroth?"
"Speaking of Marlene, where even is she?" Champion Link asked Barret, inquiring about his daughter. Barret was too reluctant to answer, his eyes darting around the foyer. "I know you didn't leave her behind, with how much you care for her. So what's up?"
"Tifa! Barret! Welcome!" Mario greeted the two as he entered the foyer, coming from Master Hand's room. "Are Link and-a Champion LInk treating you well?"
"Hey, Mario! Yeah, the Hylians have been very hospitable,'" replied Tifa, before looking over at Sonic and seeing the hedgehog eating yet another chili dog. "But as for Sonic here..."
"These two are bad news, Mario, they left me hanging," Sonic said to the plumber, trying to play the victim as much as he possibly could. "Could you imagine if someone outside saw me being disrespected? I would be ruined!"
"You did it to yourself, hedgehog boy..." Barret frowned at Sonic, using enough intimidation to make the blue hedgehog step back out of fear. Barret wasn't the kind of guy you wanted to mess with.
"Yeah, well...you never told us where your daughter's at. Did she just magically disappear or something?" Barret was getting increasingly annoyed by all this talk about Marlene, as he gritted his teeth in anger.
"Mario, may I have your permission to punch that dumb hedgehog?" Barret asked the plumber as he tightened his fist, before looking at his gun arm. "Or should I just use my gun arm instead? The choice is yours!"
"I have-a no say in the matter..." replied a very nervous Mario, fearing what Barret's gun arm could potentially do to Sonic. That gun arm of Barret's would leave Sonic in a holey mess - a bloody one at that. "...why not take it up-a with Master Hand?"
"Yeah, maybe Master Hand can get you to confess Marlene's whereabouts," Sonic said to Barret, who wanted to sucker punch the hedgehog in the face so bad. The urge was hard to resist. "Can't really hide anything from him."
"About-a that...Master Hand's kinda busy at the moment. Tifa, Barret, you guys can wait-a here in the foyer while Master Hand's handling his business. I'm sure he'll be with-a you shortly."
"Surprised that we haven't seen Cloud yet," Tifa said to Barret, as she expected Cloud to be front and center in the foyer. "He's probably hiding from us like he did with Sephiroth!"
Fox, Falco, and Itsuki met with Master Hand in his room to discuss the large sum of money that was stolen out of Star Records' bank account. Itsuki was showing Master Hand the online bank statement on his laptop.
"What do you think, Master Hand?" Fox asked the giant hand, who found it very amusing that ten thousand dollars were stolen. It brought back to him some oddly vivid memories. "Any idea as to who was responsible?"
"I think...that you boys need to do better at finances," replied Master Hand, as Fox and company gave him blank stares. "Get Ayaha Oribe to be your financial assistant or something! She'd probably stink at that job, though."
Master Hand: So somebody stole money from Star Records? I'm not surprised. When you own a record label that makes tons of money, and you live at a mansion full of greedy leeches, you have a pretty big target on your back. I should know from experience, I'm a bit of a greedy leech myself, honestly. Hopefully, I wasn't a bad influence on the others...tee hee!
"According to this bank statement, the money was stolen out of our account yesterday," Itsuki explained to Master Hand, revealing to the giant hand the time of transaction. "And it wasn't done online, either! Know anyone that went to the bank yesterday?"
"No, but I hope that whoever stole that money spent at well," replied Master Hand; Itsuki sighed, seeing that Master Hand was absolutely no help. "And by that, I mean on items other than massaging chairs. Those things continue to be the bane of my existence!"
"Now would be a really good time to interrogate Ashley," Falco quietly suggested to Fox, still fairly certain that Ashley of all people stole the money. "She's hiding at the tower for a reason."
"She lives at the tower, you nitwit..." replied Fox with a shaking of his head, having no clue why his friend was so obsessed with Ashley for. "...also, I doubt that any of our employees would steal money from our pockets."
"Alright then...maybe a friend of one of our employees did it! Bet you it was Doc Louis, he's using our money to buy all the chocolate he wants." That made Fox shake his head at Falco again. "What, is it racist for me to accuse Doc Louis?"
"Look, Mr. Aoi, I could care less about this whole issue," Master Hand said kindly to the young man. "This is your battle to fight, you, Fox, and Falco Not mine."
"Have it your way then, Master Hand," replied Itsuki, sighing as he closed his laptop and held it underneath his arm. "Perhaps you would've cared more if Anna was the one who stole our money. Let's go, gents."
"W-Wait, what do you mean by that?" Master Hand watched helplessly as Itsuki led Fox and Falco out of his room. "No, get back here Itsuki, I must roast you back! No way I can let you have the last laugh! Oh my..."
Tifa and Barret didn't feel like waiting around in the foyer for Master Hand, so the welcoming committee brought the two to their room. R.O.B. and his robot friends were standing in the room, having furnished everything.
"WE HAVE CLEANED OUT THE ROOM IN ITS ENTIRETY...AND DESANITIZED IT THREE TIMES..." R.O.B. informed Tifa and Barret; the triple desensitization might've been a little too excessive. "ENJOY YOUR NEW DIGS..."
"Cowabunga!" shouted Sonic as he leaped unto Barret's bed, before bouncing off and falling unto the floor. Crash would follow suit, jumping on Tifa's bed before bouncing off into the bedroom window.
"Kinda wished that bedroom door was open," Link said to Champion Link as Sonic and Crash were left writhing in pain. Outside the room, Hunter was creeping around the corner with his notepad.
"Got you in my sight..." Hunter said quietly as he kept a very close eye on Barret. He saw the eco-terrorist laughing at Sonic and Crash's misfortune "...aha! Laughing at somebody else's pain! That's definitely going on the list."
"Hunter? How did-a you even get here?" Mario asked the cheetah, who shrieked in fright as he turned around and saw the plumber. Mario was holding a plate of cookies, most likely trying to redeem himself from episode 257.
"Uh, I got in here through...through magic! Yeah. Robin came through for me, with his spells and, uh...are those cinnamon rolls?"
"You mean-a these?" Mario looked down at his plate of cookies, with the cookies looking like they've been in the oven for too long. "They're actually brownies that I had baked-a for Tifa and Barret. Used too much-a baking powder."
"Riiiiight...and you're not actually thinking about feeding those 'brownies' to them, are you?" Mario's conscience was telling the plumber no, but Mario was a man who believed more in his heart than anything else.
"I mean, somebody's gotta eat 'em. They're not that bad." To show that he was right, Mario took a bite out of one of the brownies, only for his face to turn different colors afterward. Hunter looked on cynically, as Mario mustered the strength to swallow his portion.
"Not that bad, huh?" In a matter of seconds, Mario fainted on the floor, dropping his plate of brownies in the process. Soon Spyro appeared behind Mario, seemingly arriving too late.
"I literally tried to stop him," Spyro said to Hunter, as the aroma from the brownies reached the purple dragon's nostrils and made him cringe in disgust. "Those 'brownies' smell like they came straight out of the toilet!"
"Eh, I wouldn't know, I can't really smell much these days," stated Hunter, leading Spyro to wonder if the cheetah's nose was even working properly. "Would explain why I haven't showered since July."
Peach: Feels good seeing Mario baking more in the kitchen. He's showing all the signs of being a great baker! Granted, those cinnamon rolls he made might not look the best, but at least...What's that? They're brownies? Well, if that's what we're calling them these days...I suppose I can roll with that. Now, what was I saying about Mario being a great baker?
"Master Hand should be available right now," Link said to Tifa and Barret as he and Champion Link led the new residents out of their room. "Unless you want to check out the rest of your room..."
"We can do that later, once we've settled down," replied Tifa, as she cracked her knuckles. A quirk of any martial artist. "Master Hand must be just dying to see us!"
"And Cloud too...if he's even man enough to even speak to us!" exclaimed Barret, baffled that his main man Cloud had yet to make his appearance. "That boy can run, but he definitely can't hide!"
"We'll be meeting with you guys shortly..." Sonic said to Tifa and Barret from inside their room, sounding like he was in a world of pain. "...my stupid stomach is hurting again. Thanks, Tifa..."
"You're welcome, Sonic!" Tifa responded sarcastically, before looking down at Mario and seeing the cinnamon rolls...erm, brownies, wasted on the floor. "Aw, Mario, did you make those cinnamon rolls for us?"
"They're brownies," responded Mario, waking up out of his unconsciousness for a brief moment just to mention this fact. "Made them-a out of friendly compassion..."
"Don't get too close, they kinda smell," advised Spyro, but that didn't matter anyway as the aroma from the brownies soon reached Tifa and company. All of them covered their noses.
"Let's just get to Master Hand's room..." said Champion Link, holding his hat over his nose as he and the others stormed out of the hallway. Hunter saw the group leave with his focus solely on Barret.
"Sneak mode...activated!" Hunter said quietly as he followed closely behind Link and company; Spyro sighed as he had no choice but to track Hunter.
As stated by Isabelle earlier, some residents were relied upon to make Sephiroth look like a good guy - and Pit was one of those people. After having broken Mechanica's thermos, Pit was asked by Isabelle to hide Donkey Kong's personal stash of bananas. It was up to Sephiroth to find said bananas and give them to Donkey Kong, making him look like a good Samaritan.
"Cloud, I stuffed the bananas in the garbage disposal, is that a good spot?" Pit called out as he went down the stairs to the tower's basement, after having learned that Cloud was at the tower. "Couldn't fit all of 'em in there, so..."
"Sorry I didn't invite you over for Christmas, or New Year's," Cloud's voice was heard from behind the basement door, as Pit reached the bottom of the stairs. Pit pressed his ear against the door, eavesdropping on the conversation.
"It's fine, Cloud - I assume you were busier than usual compared to other years," replied a voice, a female voice - one that Pit quickly recognized, as he gasped out of shock. "Must be hard being the new man of the mansion."
"It's not as hard as I thought it would be. Master Hand can be an annoying sycophant sometimes, but other than that I can't really complain."
"Could it really be her?" asked Pit, before kicking the basement door wide open to see if his suspicions were true. The angel stormed inside the basement, where he saw Cloud, Dr. Wily, and a third woman that had him all excited.
"Oh no..." Cloud groaned when he saw Pit, who was staring at the woman that accompanied Cloud. That woman was Aerith Gainsborough, whom Dr. Wily brought to the tower with his alternate dimension device thingamajig.
"Hi Pit...you sure must be glad to see me!" Aerith smiled at the angel, who had the biggest smile on his face. Pit was so happy to see Aerith, that he ran up to the flower girl and gave her a big hug.
"Aerith! Oh, how I missed you..." Pit said to the flower girl, as Cloud was taking great offense to the angel hugging his lady friend. "It's been forever since I last saw you!"
"It's been like eight months since you last saw her," stated Cloud, grabbing Pit and trying to pry the angel's arms off of Aerith. "Now let go of her."
"You heard the man, let her go!" Dr. Wily shouted at Pit, as he assisted Cloud in ending Pit's hug with Aerith. "You act like you haven't seen her in ages."
Dr. Wily: Cloud requested that I bring Aerith back into this universe, even with Sephiroth being at the mansion. He was fine with Aerith and Sephiroth living together under the same roof, because of all that alternate universe jazz. Cloud said that Aerith is part of his "secret plan" later this year...and I'll just leave it at that.
"So Aerith, what do you think about Cloud being Master Hand's new personal lapdog?" Pit asked the flower girl as he slapped Cloud hard on his back. "A pretty nice gig for him, if I do say so myself!"
"Don't touch me ever again..." Cloud sternly said to Pit, who quickly backed off on the swordsman. "...for the record, I'm not Master Hand's lapdog. I'm just doing my best to maintain order in the mansion. Which is like running a whole country..."
"Oh yeah, Aerith, you missed out on the presidential election this year!" Pit told the flower girl as he rudely interrupted Cloud. "Do you want me to tell you who won? If you don't wanna be spoiled, I understand; I'll let you find out later."
"Aerith has virtually no interest in politics, she could care less about who won." Being from an alternate universe, Aerith wouldn't care about some election results anyway. "Especially after all the chaos last year."
"I wouldn't mind hearing who won," confessed Aerith, as Cloud looked at the flower girl with a surprised look. "I know it wouldn't personally affect me as much, but it won't hurt to know."
"Yeah, screw you for trying to speak for your girlfriend, Cloud!" Pit said to the swordsman, who got ticked off real quick as he confronted Pit. Cloud was ready to put Pit in his place, as Pit backed away. "Uh, sorry for calling Aerith your girlfriend!"
"Yo Cloud, are you down here?" asked Fox as he, Falco, and Itsuki arrived at the basement. Understandably, all three men were startled to see Aerith. "Hey, hey, hey...look what we got here!"
"Love connection..." sang Falco, only to be silenced in a hurry when Cloud gave him a death glare. "I mean...friendship...connection...yeah."
"I see that you three are doing well," Aerith said to Fox and company, giving them a warm smile. Shaking off the shock of seeing Aerith again, Itsuki approached Cloud with his laptop, opening it up.
"Cloud, somebody stole ten thousand dollars out of Star Records' bank account," Itsuki explained to the swordsman, as Falco raised his hand. "And whoever it was, it wasn't Ashley." Falco put his hand back down, before looking away and snapping his fingers.
"Ten grand stolen from Star Records, eh? Couldn't be me..." remarked Pit, smirking to himself as he nodded his head. The angel suddenly grew nervous, when he saw Cloud and company looking at him suspiciously. "Yeah...couldn't be me..."
"Was it you who did it, Pit?" Fox asked the angel, who was reluctant to answer; Pit tried to tiptoe away, but Fox grabbed his toga to restrain him. "Hold it right there! Why I oughta..."
"Lay off on him, McCloud," Cloud commanded Fox, who was about to punch Pit in the face only to lower his fist. Aerith looked on, amazed by how commanding Cloud was. "Just take him back to the mansion; I'll deal with him there."
"Consider yourself lucky, buddy...for now," Falco frowned at Pit, who was smiling nervously as Fox dragged Pit up the basement stairs. Pit and the three heads of Star Records were gone, with Cloud, Aerith, and Dr. Wily all alone again.
"Wow, Cloud, you came off as very authoritative there!" Aerith said to the swordsman, who took the flower girl's remark as a slight compliment. "Of course, I saw the signs a long time ago, but...I'm impressed!"
"Guess you could say it comes with the job," responded Cloud, under the assumption that he left a good impression on Aerith. "I'll discipline Pit later, but for now...why don't we do a little catch-up?"
Link and Champion Link brought Tifa and Barret to Master Hand's room, where they saw Master Hand...lying on his floor. Looking like somebody had shot him. Although it might not look like it, Master Hand was in a lot of distress.
"How could I let him diss me like that?" questioned Master Hand, having some sort of crisis as Link and company quietly entered the giant hand's room. "What kind of supreme being am I, to let a meager human get the best of me?"
"Master Hand...you alright?" Link asked the giant hand, daring not to ask whatever was ailing him. "I don't mean to disturb you, but...Tifa Lockhart and Barret Wallace are here. You wanna speak with them, or no?"
"TIFA LOCKHART AND BARRET WALLACE?!" Just like that, Master Hand was in a more jovial mood as he lifted himself off the floor and saw Tifa and Barret standing in his presence. "Why didn't you tell me this sooner?!"
"I literally just told you...like a few seconds ago..." Master Hand would completely ignore Link, brushing the Hylian to the side so he could get a better look at Tifa and Barret.
"Tifa, Barret, so glad that you could finally be at my mansion! I hope that you had no trouble getting along with your old arch-enemy Sephiroth."
"To be honest, we have yet to meet him in person...thankfully," replied Tifa, folding her arms behind her head. "But we saw him do something earlier that we thought was very much unlike him..."
"Sephiroth fixed a thermos for some girl and gave her a hug!" exclaimed Barret, as he couldn't get the image of Sephiroth hugging Mechanica out of his head - or forget how awkward Sephiroth looked hugging Mechanica. "Still think that was an imposter."
"No, Sephiroth has been acting like somewhat of a nice guy over time...not a dramatic change, but a welcome one nonetheless. Barret, I can't help but notice that a companion of yours is missing!"
"Oh, you talking about Red XIII? He's hanging out with Shelke Rui. She's a friend of ours, in case you might be wonderin'..."
"I'm not talking about that lion...cat thing, I'm talking about your daughter! Marlene!" Barret knew that Master Hand was going to ask about Marlene, as he nervously gulped. "Why didn't you bring her with you?"
"That's a...that's a good question, Master Hand!" Barret nervously pulled on his collar, as he felt precipitation building on his forehead. "I didn't bring Marlene to the mansion with me, because...um..."
Hunter stood outside Master Hand's room, peeking inside through the half-open doorway while writing down notes on his notepad. When Barret started talking, the note-taking increased dramatically.
"That's right, Barret, keep on talking you crook..." Hunter said, while his good friend Spyro stayed around to keep watch. "...Spyro, I think you should go in there and ram Barret in the butt. Send him a message, from me."
"And what would that message be?" Spyro asked Hunter, who shrugged his shoulders for a brief moment before he resumed his note-taking. "Yeah, my thoughts exactly..."
"They wouldn't let you inside, huh?" asked Sonic, as he showed up with Crash, Aku, and Mario. Mario was still feeling the effects of sampling one of his "brownies", looking groggy and light-headed while Crash escorted him.
"No, Hunter's just taking notes on Barret from a 'safe distance,'" explained Spyro, as Mario puked inside his mouth and swallowed his own vomit. "Mario, you don't look so good.."
"I feel just-a fine..." assured Mario, looking like he was severely drunk as he gave a thumbs up. "Never better..." The plumber was about to collapse unto the floor, but Sonic and Crash were there to hoist him back up.
Spyro: Here's some good baking advice: if you're ever making brownies, never mix the baking powder into the chocolate. And never add coffee or even Gatorade to the mix either. I just hope that Mario doesn't have those brownies lying around at home...
Peony: Mario was kind enough to leave some of his world-famous brownies at his house, while he gave the rest to the new guys. *holds up brownie* They look pretty delectable, so it wouldn't hurt to try 'em out! *eats a brownie whole, then passes out a few seconds later*
Peonia: Dad? *runs over to Peony, who is lying on the living room floor unconscious* Oh dad...
"Wonder what's going on in here..." said Sonic after he helped Mario regain his balance, as he went to Master Hand's doorway and took a peek inside...
"What? What do you mean she's grown older?" Master Hand asked Barret, who for whatever reason was left in tears. A jarring sight for Sonic, and even Hunter. Link, Champion Link, and Tifa were all comforting Barret.
"She's not the little girl that I used to know..." replied Barret, wiping away a few tears from his eyes before sobbing a bit more. "...she's like a totally different person now. I still love her, as always, but..."
"Isn't she like six, or seven? Was she born on a leap year? 1992? If so, then she actually might be seven years old. Technically speaking, that is."
"She's not seven anymore...she's older now. Much, much older. Sometimes I don't even recognize her! She's grown that much!"
"Well, that gives you no reason to leave her behind like she's hot garbage. I expected much better from an exemplary father like you!"
"I chose not to bring her with me to the mansion because...because I was worried about how others would perceive her. They were so used to Marlene as a little girl, the last time she was here...who knows what they would think of her now!"
"You know, Barret, Red and Leaf used to be little kids, ten years old," Link said to the eco-terrorist, trying to give him some perspective. "Then over a few weeks, they grew up to be full-grown adults! Yet the residents still saw them as the same old Red and Leaf."
"So you think...I can just bring Marlene to the mansion...and everything will be just fine?" Barret slowly turned his head and looked at Link, with a very hopeful and sincere face. Link smiled, giving Barret more than enough assurance.
"I'm positive." Barret smiled with confidence, taking Link's assuring words to heart. Soon Sonic, having heard enough, came inside Master Hand's room, gaining the attention of Barret and everyone else.
"If you need a hug...I'm your guy," Sonic said to Barret as he held his arms wide open. Barret would walk over to Sonic, hugging the hedgehog. "Bring it all in, big guy..."
Sonic: Don't let the past few weeks fool you - I am NOT giving out free hugs. Go ask Princess Peach for some hugs if you're that desperate.
"What do you have to say now, Hunter?" Spyro asked the cheetah, who was seeing Barret hug Sonic in full view. And after much consideration...Hunter dropped his notepad and pen onto the floor, shocking Spyro, before approaching Barret.
"Hey, I know we probably just met, but...mind if I get in on the hugging action?" Hunter asked Barret, just when the eco-terrorist ended his hug with Sonic. Barret looked at Hunter, weighing his options for a moment or two...before smiling at the cheetah.
"Sure, why not?" replied Barret as he and Hunter hugged it out. Didn't know why he was even hugging Hunter in the first place, but he felt pretty good about it regardless. With Hunter and Barret hugging it out, Spyro took a gander at Hunter's list on the notepad...and saw that it had a title.
"'Tips on How to Not Be a Bad Father'?" Spyro frowned mightily at the title he just read, as a worrisome thought entered the purple dragon's head. "Hunter, you're not seriously thinking about marrying Bianca, are you?"
"A cheetah and a rabbit can procreate and have children, just you wait and see..." Hunter said to Spyro as he pointed at the purple dragon, while he and Barret were still hugging. Spyro could only snort in disbelief.
Sonic felt pretty good later that day after he hugged Barret. He and Barret felt like a million bucks. The hedgehog was walking through the mansion, with a little pep in his step...only to stop when he passed by Cloud's room, hearing Cloud speak.
"You can't just take money from Star Records," Cloud discussed with Pit in his room, as Sonic peeked inside through the creaked bedroom door. Cloud should learn to close his door more often. "When I told you to find some money, that wasn't what I meant."
"I'm so sorry, Cloud, I didn't know what else to do!" Pit apologized to Cloud as he got down on his knees, with begging hands. "Please don't be so harsh on me, I was stuck on what to do!"
"This is kinda my fault...I should've been more thorough. But those Star Records guys are probably expecting me to punish you. How does cleaning out the entire dishwasher sound?"
"Sounds pretty tame, but I'll take it. Though I'd rather clean out the garbage disposal...think I might've broken it with those bananas."
"Fine then, you'll clean out the garbage disposal instead. You can also fix the entire kitchen sink if you want to make it harder on yourself."
"Mr. GW did say that the kitchen sink had some plumbing problems...yeah, I'll handle it. Smell ya later, Cloud!"
Sonic quickly moved out of the way, as Pit exited Cloud's room and ran down the hallway. Cloud stepped out of his room and saw Sonic, who was making it seem like he wasn't eavesdropping.
"You weren't eavesdropping on me again, were you Sonic?" Cloud asked the blue hedgehog, with a stern look on his face. "Because if you did..."
"Dude, I literally just got here..." replied Sonic, trying to play it cool as he rested his hand on the wall. "...always wanting to accuse me of stuff I never did! Must be jealous of my speed."
"Just making sure that you weren't spying on me or anything. I don't take too kindly to stuff like that. Consider yourself warned, Sonic."
"Master Hand sure was happy to see me again, Cloud," Aerith said to the swordsman as she came down the hallway, with Sonic surprised to see her. "His love for me...while weird, is still intact."
"Should've seen him when he saw Impa during Christmas time. He was completely over the moon, and Impa couldn't be anymore..."
"Woah, Aerith! Had a feeling you would be back," Sonic said to the flower girl, having no issue with her whatsoever. Aerith was the kind of chick that could vibe with just about anyone. "Sure missed you the last week, and the week before!"
"I've decided to let Aerith back at the mansion, but only for the time being," Cloud explained to Sonic. "Fingers crossed that Sora won't act too weird..."
Sora: Riku, did you see that woman with the brown ponytail and the pink-and-white dress? That's Aerith, she's a friend that I know from Radiant Garden!
Riku: Yeah, I know who she is...won't say how I know her, but she's a familiar face.
Sora: She used to stay at this mansion, believe it or not - even longer than I have! She's kinda beloved around here.
Riku: Did living here make her go crazy? I know that I'm starting to go insane...
"Asked Master Hand for permission, and he agreed without hesitation," continued Cloud, knowing how infatuated Master Hand was with Aerith. "So we're gonna find a room for Aerith since her former roommate is stuck with Wario..."
"WARIO! How many times do I have to tell you not to remove the Febreeze spray?!" Cortex was heard shouting from down the hallway, venting his frustrations upon Wario. "The room smells even when you're not farting!"
"Not my fault that you have a sensitive nose!" Wario clapped back at Cortex, who was heard screaming at the top of his lungs. "Life at the mansion was nice until you came back..."
"Looks like I dodged a bullet," remarked Aerith; while she didn't mind Cortex, she couldn't stand the thought of being roommates with him again. "Are you going to take me to my room now, Cloud?"
"Yeah, let's go," replied Cloud as he and Aerith went down the hallway, passing by Sonic. Sonic looked at Cloud with a cynical face.
"I got my eye on you, Strife..." the hedgehog said, before turning around and heading the other way.
Cloud found a room for Aerith, and it was conveniently on the same floor that Tifa and Barret were on. While Aerith didn't have a roommate at the moment, at least she had a bed to sleep on.
"This the Aerith from the other universe, right?" Barret asked Cloud as he met with Cloud, Aerith, and Tifa outside Aerith's room. "This might take some time getting used to..."
"She's only here temporarily, Barret," replied Cloud, as Sephiroth cautiously entered the hallway and saw Cloud and company gathered together. "It won't be too much of a headache."
"I'll take any kind of Aerith at the mansion, to be honest," said Tifa, as Sephiroth saw Aerith standing among Cloud and company. He was acting like he was seeing a ghost. "Better than having no Aerith!"
"A-Aerith?" uttered Sephiroth as he was staring right at the flower girl in question. "You're still...alive?" The one-winged angel recalled seeing Aerith in episode 34, and he was reliving that same experience all over again.
"As alive as I'll ever be," replied Aerith, with a smile that was stifling a lot of laughter. Poor Sephiroth didn't know what to think, as he held his head.
"Please excuse me for a moment..." Sephiroth turned around and exited the hallway, having to think some things through. Aerith had him shook, just like she did with everyone else with only her presence.
"He's gonna be the one having headaches around here," Cloud had this to say about Sephiroth, as Aerith and the others laughed in response. "That wasn't really a joke, you guys..."
Perhaps not, but at least Cloud now has old friends at the mansion. Couldn't ask for anything else.