Author's Note:
So, I got some news, something I've been wanting (and dying) to share with you all...I got a new job! A sports writing job, if you will, for a basketball website (I knew that experience from blogging last year would pay off, somehow). It's not exactly my dream job of scriptwriting, but it's a step in the right direction. I pretty much write articles in the day and write this story during the evening hours, so it's a pretty good balance. As I've said before, this story is just a side thing I like to do, and it'll pretty much stay that way until the very end. Now that I finally got that out, let's get to the guest reviews! Back to the swing of things...
"Will you do a Pac-Man themed chapter since his 40th anniversary was last year in May? Will the Atelier Ryza 2 chapter happen this month? (The game comes out on January 26). Will you plan a Monster Hunter Rise chapter in March? And finally, what are your thoughts on the new Ghosts n Goblins game for Switch?"
I missed Pac-Man's 40th anniversary?! Shoot. I'll do a Pac-Man theme chapter in May. The Atelier Ryza 2 chapter will be next week. I might do a Monster Hunter Rise chapter (this story sure could use some Monster Hunter content). And I'm pretty interested in the new Ghosts n Goblins game. Played the original game on Nintendo Switch Online, and I liked it very much (even though it was hard). Here's one question that I forgot to answer last week:
"...no Trails of Cold Steel chapters?"
There will be a Trails of Cold Steel chapter coming in April. I may do more than one, though...stay tuned!
Episode 265: Seminar
As the man of the mansion, Cloud always had important stuff to do. And there was nothing more important than bringing a new resident to the mansion.
According to Barret, his adopted daughter Marlene had grown exponentially since the last time she was at the mansion. The last time she was around, Marlene appeared to be six years old...so it was anyone's guess as to how old she was now.
Of course, Cloud couldn't just add any new resident to the mansion without Master Hand's full approval. So until Master Hand agreed to let Barret's daughter Marlene in the mansion, Cloud had to do some "scouting" first.
"So you're just gonna go to Edge, and head right back?" Barret asked Cloud as he followed the swordsman to the front yard of the mansion. Fox and Falco were both waiting outside for Cloud, next to the Landmaster.
"Isn't that where you said Marlene was?" Cloud asked Barret, who nodded his head; Barret wanted nothing more than to be with his daughter at the mansion, one way or another. "Then I guess the answer's yes."
"But why can't you just bring her on home?! Not like you're bringing home Jenova or Sephiroth's eviler twin. Come to think of it...the eviler twin sounds even scarier than Jenova herself!"
"Master Hand for whatever reason thinks that you're lying, so I'm gonna head to Edge and find some 'evidence' for him. If he sees that you're telling the truth, then that means..."
"Tick tick, Strife, tick tick!" Fox called out to the swordsman while pointing at the watch on his wrist. "Let's get this over with so I can head back home! Got some stuff to do with Krystal."
"Yeah, and there's some pregnancy show marathon that I have to get back soon," added Falco, as Fox, Cloud, and Barret gave the avian pilot weird looks "...which I watch for educational purposes!"
Falco: "I Didn't Know That I Was Pregnant"...that's a show I'm ashamed to admit that I'm hooked to. Don't know why - guess there's something about the moms being so oblivious that makes it all so enchanting. Wasn't Daisy unaware that she was pregnant when Deanna was born? Kinda wish I was there when she found out the truth. Ah well, I still have a chance with Krystal in a couple of months.
"Cloud, where are you going?" Master Hand asked the swordsman as he appeared outside. "You can't just vamoose out of the mansion without giving me a heads up! Such poor communication skills..."
"I'm just going to Edge, to see what's up with Barret's daughter," Cloud explained to Master Hand, who felt a bit calmer now. "I shouldn't be gone for the entire day. I'll be back before dawn."
"Okay, that's all I needed to know. Don't go around winking at any ladies over there! Have a safe trip, to and from!" Cloud would ignore Master Hand's words, as Master Hand vanished away.
"Well then...Master Hand sounded pretty candid there," Barret said to Cloud, who wanted to fly on the Landmaster to Edge ASAP before Master Hand bothered him again. "Thought he was gonna cry some tears over ya!"
"Usually when I leave the mansion, Master Hand calls the police," said Cloud, leading Barret to wonder how the swordsman could put up with that. "But he hasn't done that in a few months now. The sycophancy's wearing off a bit..."
"Hello! Are we going to Edge today, or not?" Fox called out to Cloud, running out of patience. He didn't want to come back home and get chewed out by Krystal for being out for so long.
"I'm coming!" Cloud shouted to Fox, before directing his attention back to Barret. "Marlene will be coming to the mansion soon, Barret," Cloud said to the eco-terrorist, who flashed a smile.
"Counting on you, Cloud," Barret said to the swordsman, who nodded his head in acknowledgment as he went over to the Landmaster.
In the last episode, Pit got busted for stealing money from Star Records. Had to return the stolen money back to Fox, Falco, and Itsuki afterward. And as punishment for his theft, the angel was forced by Cloud to clean out the kitchen's garbage disposal - that he stuffed with bananas. A pretty tame punishment for Pit, given what he had done, but maybe Cloud was still coming around in regards to doling out punishment.
But curiously enough, before Cloud punished Pit, he was speaking with the angel about finding some money. It wasn't revealed yet what Cloud needed the money for but apparently, he trusted Pit to find some funds. Should've known better than to put any trust in him.
Since stealing from Star Records was obviously discouraged, Pit had to find another way to find some money. But the thing was, he didn't know how! (At least aside from selling cheesesteaks at the front of the mansion.) So the angel asked Master Hand for permission to host a seminar so that his fellow residents would give him some good ideas.
"Your first student is here, Mister Pit," Fiora informed the angel, who was standing outside the meeting room as he saw Mario coming his way. Fiora was asked by Pit to refer to him in a formal manner, which the Homs found infuriating.
"That's actually 'Master of Ceremonies' Pit to you," responded Pit, as Fiora rolled her eyes; Pit then shook his head, showing displeasure with the moniker he bestowed upon himself. "Nah, doesn't sound right without a last name..."
Pit: Last week, I attended an online seminar called "The Ten Secrets of Famous Potatoes". Turns out it was just a ploy to sell me some potatoes in Idaho. Almost had to spend an entire week in Boise, which would've been pretty terrible and lonely. But that seminar got me thinking about having a seminar of my own, just to raise some money.
"Hello, I am here for the small-a business seminar," Mario said to Pit and Fiora while speaking in a gruff voice...wait, he did just say "small business seminar"? What does Pit even know about running a small business?!
"Mario? That impersonation you're doing isn't going to fool anyone," Fiora said to the plumber; she would've been fooled if Mario was wearing some kind of convincing costume. But even then, Fiora would see right through.
"Nein! Nein, I say! I'm Greek! My name is Mikanos." Fiora continued to be impressed by Mario's impersonation, as Min Min showed up at the meeting room entrance.
"Mario, why were you speaking with a Greek accent just now?" the martial artist questioned the plumber, who was salty that his impersonation of a Greek person was becoming a huge failure. "Seems very random."
"Let me go get-a my costume..." said Mario, speaking in his normal Italian accent as he stormed off. Like that Greek costume of his would help matters any.
Mario: I am-a the plant. Every great seminar has one. My job-a is to make the speaker look good, and I do this through the techniques-a of leading questions and-a laughing at all jokes. And the character "Mikanos", is just a little added flavor. "Mikanos" is loosely based-a on another character I do, "Spiros", who is more about-a the ladies.
Surprisingly enough, Pit had a pretty decent turnout - one that was much better than he expected. Pit looked around the meeting room, beaming with pride as he looked at the residents he successfully reeled in. One of the residents happened to be Link, who entered the meeting room.
"Thank you so much, Link!" Pit thanked the Hylian, whom he constantly implored throughout the week to speak at his seminar. "You are simply the best."
"Listen, this isn't a favor, alright?" Link said to Pit, hating on himself for giving in to Pit rather than turning the angel away. "This is a good idea. We all win. Well, some of us win."
"Go higher. I get super flexible when I'm nervous." Suddenly Link saw Waluigi in the meeting room and immediately feared for the worst...for whatever reason. Who would ever be scared of Waluigi? Link looked outside the meeting room and saw Zelda speaking with Geno, assuming that his girlfriend needed his help.
"Hey, Pit, I'm really, really sorry to do this to you, but I have some stuff to do today with Zelda that I totally forgot, so I can't be apart of this seminar."
"No. What? You can't do that. You are an important part of this seminar! You're the charming warm-up guy; if the seminar was a meal, you'd be the amuse-bouche. You signal the flavors of the whole night!"
"I'm really sorry. I can't do it." Link quickly stormed out of the meeting room, hoping that Zelda had some use for him. Otherwise, he would feel really bad for leaving Pit in the dust.
"Link, come back, I can cater the seminar just to you..." Pit called out to the Hylian, but it was no use as Link was out of sight, out of mind.
Pit: I can't have this go badly. I'm terrible at making money, and I haven't figured out a way to gain money morally. This is my only idea on how to make some cash. If it goes badly, I might lose my standing within the mansion, which would suck because maintaining said standing has been one of the few things I've ever been good at. I can't let anyone down!
Link accompanied Zelda wherever she went, not caring if the princess asked for his presence or not. The Hylian had to sell the fact that he was indeed busy, to prevent anyone from ratting him out to Pit.
"Is there a way you could let me know when Pit's whole seminar thing is over?" Link asked Zelda, who along with Master Hand gave Pit the green light to go through with his seminar. Link had judged the princess since that moment.
"What's going on? Someone there you didn't want to see?" asked Zelda; Link was about to utter Waluigi's name, but the Hylian held his tongue.
"I just have, uh, stuff to do around the mansion. With you, my fair princess." Zelda would look up and roll her eyes at Link, as Sonic came down the hallway.
"Link, Zelda, has the seminar started already?" Sonic asked the Hylian couple, having heard about Pit's seminar from his buddy Tails. "Got some knowledge about small businesses that I'd be willing to spare."
"Yeah, it's already started," replied Link, as Sonic sped down the hallway; Link would soon stop in place - with Zelda coming to a stop, too - as a curious thought entered his head. "What does Sonic know about running a small business?"
Sonic: Pit and Cloud got something planned. And that seminar Pit is holding in the meeting room must be a part of their plans. That's why I'm gonna attend this seminar, and see what Pit's up to.
Sonic was at the meeting room, having a word with some of the residents. If the hedgehog wanted to infiltrate the seminar and uproot it from the inside out, he had to start first with some good ol' small talk.
"What are some of your small business ideas?" Sonic asked a group of residents that included Heihachi Mishima, Lakitu, and several others. He was holding his hand underneath his chin, making himself look thoughtful and engaged in conversation.
"I was thinking I could buy up a bunch of abandoned mine shafts," Heihachi presented his idea, with Sonic raising his eyebrows in intrigue while those listening said, "Oooh..." in unison. "Use them for a variety of different purposes."
"That's great. There's a big, big future in that. You could really go places with those mine shafts!"
"A lot of mines in Seattle," stated Rosalina, and Sonic despised that the mother of Lumas stated that fact. He had to step up his game and make himself the most knowledgeable out of the bunch.
"Um, what about you?" Sonic turned his attention to Lakitu, thinking that the Koopa wanted to start up a videography business.
"Uh, something to do with credit cards," replied Lakitu, as his answer greatly surprised Sonic and everyone else. "My small business would act as an intermedium, for like, point two cents off every transaction."
"Wow! Credit cards! Never would've imagined that. What would you do that with, though?"
"Something with cell phones. It's like, every time you make a phone call I'd make point two cents. Or anything like any on-line shopping I would get point two cents."
"That's awesome, man!" In all honesty, Sonic thought that Lakitu's idea was crap, as well as Heihachi's, but the hedgehog had to fake his excitement. It was all part of his act.
Then, with an attentive ear, Sonic heard Pit speaking with Tom Nook, Wario, and Ayaha Oribe. The three were appointed by Pit to be guest speakers at the seminar, and it looked like those three were ready to bail.
"You promised us whales, Pit," Tom Nook said to the angel, after listening to some of the suggestions the residents had. Like Sonic, the tanuki thought that most of the ideas were crap. "These people are worms."
"They're not worms, Tom Nook, okay?" Pit said to the tanuki in his best effort to keep him around. The advice that Tom Nook could offer, with his background in running a business, was endless. "They're just people who are looking to start a tiny business. They're baby whales which is even cuter!"
"I'm out," announced Wario, throwing in the towel as he left the meeting room. So much for Wario teaching everyone how to make microgames - if he was willing to spare such information.
"Wario, you're supposed to close!" Wario, to close out a seminar? A very interesting choice that Pit made.
"I'm out too," announced Ayaha, as she too turned down the opportunity to speak at Pit's seminar. Pit was getting stressed out, pulling on his hair.
"What? I already lost Link. Guys and gals with business acumen are supposed to help each other out. We're supposed to be a team!"
"We're no more a team than the people staying in the same hotel are a team," said Tom Nook, before following Wario and Ayaha's lead as he was the third person to leave the meeting room. "You're on your own now, Pit." Pit was now devastated, as he fell to his knees.
"You know what might be kind of fun?" Minato asked Yukari, speaking with his lover in the meeting room. Yukari looked to be down in the dumps. "I was thinking, after this whole seminar...what if we went out for some ice cream? Maybe go to a Dairy Queen drive-thru and..."
"Oh, I don't know, Minato," replied Yukari, looking down at the floor as a curious Mario came over just to observe. "I'm not feeling up to that."
"Still pretty sad, I see..." Mario said quietly as he saw the saddened disposition on Yukari's face. Apparently, the plumber knew what had Yukari so down.
Mario: Yukari had a pretty big verbal spat with-a Junpei last week, and it's gotten her down-a in the dumps. Which is the greatest thing-a that has ever happened…to Minato, since he can flex-a his boyfriend skills and cheer his woman up. But to Yukari, it's been one of the worst-a weeks of her life, and I know for a fact that there was a week for her in high school-a when she got mono and her first-a period ever. Too much information? That's what I thought. But, you know what? Here-a I am using it.
"Let me see if I can cheer-a your girl up," Mario said to Minato before approaching Yukari, who was trying to keep to herself in the meeting room. "Hello ma'am, the name-a is Mikanos, what's-a your name?" Mario asked Yukari, posing as Mikanos as he spoke in a Greek accent.
"Is Mikanos Greek?" Yukari asked Mario, who groaned with much frustration in response. "He sounds Italian." The fact that Mario always spoke with an Italian accent obviously didn't help the impersonation any.
"Ugh. You're the fifth-a person to tell me that today."
"I dunno, maybe Mikanos ran away to join the Italian circus."
"Okay, yeah, like a character history. Good. Tom Hanks-a does that." When Yukari looked away, Mario looked back at Minato and gave the young man a thumbs up. Minato would then return the favor.
Being that she was a martial artist, Tifa prided herself in than getting stronger. And where could she go to get stronger? The fitness center, of course! There she was, lifting a few dumbells in her hands as she worked off a sweat. Aerith kindly approached Tifa, having to ask her a serious, thought-provoking question.
"Pardon my ignorance, but is 'jlp' a word?" the flower girl asked Tifa, who stopped her workout as she gave Aerith a funny look. Was Tifa just hearing things, or did Aerith actually ask her that?
"'Jelp?' J-e-l-p?" asked Tifa, before spelling out the word that she assumed Aerith was asking her about.
"No, j-l-p. Like, 'I jlp…I jlp you.' Isn't that a word?"
"I don't think that's a word. But an A for effort, I guess..."
"I'm playing Scrabble with Shulk, and I've never won a game." Obviously can't win at Scrabble with make-believe words.
Aerith: The winner gets to pick the movie we watch later for movie night. So, yeah, movie night's fate is pretty much in the hands of me and Shulk. So far, Shulk has suggested that we watch either one of "The Shining", "Rosemary's Baby", "The Ring". All of those movies are not really my thing. Although...I do like the early parts of the movies where they have a perfect family and everything. That's always nice.
"You want some help?" Tifa asked Aerith as she dropped her dumbells onto the floor. "I can lend you a helping hand."
"Really?" asked an easily excited Aerith, as Tifa smiled and nodded her head. "Good! Here's a list of a few words I had in mind." Aerith took out the list of words and gave it to Tifa.
Aerith: Thing is, whenever I play Scrabble, I don't do so well. Either I make up new words at the whim, or I just overthink things and put down random, nonsensical. My brain just goes into overdrive. Tell me, is that normal?
"K-a. 'Ka'?" Tifa read the word at the top of Aerith's list, as Aerith could just feel Tifa judging her from the inside. "What does 'ka' mean?"
"It means you're playing someone who's going to destroy you," replied Male Wii Fit Trainer as he came over, with a towel over his shoulder. He looked over Tifa's shoulder, analyzing the words on Aerith's list. "Why would you play a word like 'moo'?"
"Because I was just trying to win," replied Aerith, now fearing that Male Wii Fit might be judging her as well. "I'm playing 'moo', I'm playing 'milk'. Whatever it takes."
"Okay, but look, you could have gone with 'mood'. Would have played a triple word. Or 'moon', that works too.
"Like that nursery rhyme, 'the cow jumped over the moon.'" Aerith felt as if she was getting somewhere, but she wasn't entirely sure.
"No, it doesn't have to just be cow stuff, right?" Tifa said to Aerith, wanting the flower girl to be more well-versed when coming up with words. "Don't worry, Male Wii Fit Trainer and I got you covered!"
Pit was desperate for guest speakers after Tom Nook, Ayaha, and Wario abandoned him, and the angel was scrapping the bottom of the barrel. How so? He was asking King K. Rool, of all people, to be a guest speaker. The Kremling's only credentials were running that ice cream stand in episode 240.
"King K. Rool, Link dropped out of my seminar," Pit aid to the Kremling, who was in the kitchen drinking down an entire bottle of ginger ale in one gulp. "And I was just...wondering if you could replace him as my charming warm-up guy."
"Pit, I'm no Link," replied K. Rool, showing some self-awareness on his part. That was a striking attribute that Pit was looking for, in a guest speaker. "The only way that I'm Link is in the movie version when Link sees what his future would be like if he and Princess Zelda never coexisted."
"Hey, that's crazy talk. I think you're great!" Pit liked what he heard, smacking K. Rool on his back.
"Then I won't let you down!" Seemed like K. Rool was now on board.
The other guest speaker that Pit had in mind happened to live outside the mansion, in a house right next to Mario's. It was Luigi, and the plumber was baking a cake with his adoring wife Daisy. So far, things were coming along pretty well.
"Here is the cake," Daisy said to Luigi as she presented to him two pans of cake batter. All Luigi had to do was put the cake batter in the oven - couldn't be that difficult, right?
"In-a you go!" exclaimed Luigi as he grabbed the pans and tossed them in the oven, as cake batter splattered below the oven rack. Daisy shook her head as Luigi sheepishly closed the oven door. "That turned out slightly worse-a than I had intended..."
"Luigi, Daisy, the ignoramus from the mansion wants to speak with you," Yuffie informed the married couple, as she let Pit inside the house. Pit went to the kitchen, wanting to ask Luigi a quick question.
"Hi, Luigi, you went to business school in New York, right?" Pit asked the plumber, who was befuddled as to how the angel even knew this information.
"I guess...I guess you could-a say that," replied Luigi; he didn't last that long in business school, but he still got plenty of invaluable experience. "Why do you ask, my friend?"
"I need somebody to be one of the guest speakers this seminar I'm hosting about business. I was wondering if you could do it."
"Okay. I don't...I don't like-a committing to things just like that." Luigi hated committing to things on the fly; he needed some time to think things through.
"So no? C'mon Luigi, I need you..." Pit was pleading to Luigi with begging hands, but Luigi wouldn't budge.
"No, I don't like-a committing to not doing things, either. That's just as big a commitment."
"If you don't agree to the terms...you won't hear the end of it," Daisy said to Luigi, reminding her husband of whom he was dealing with. "Has past experience with Pit not taught you anything?"
"Yes, I'll do it." Luigi finally agreed to be a guest speaker, thanks to some convincing from his wife. Pit was excited, as he pumped his fist.
"Thank you so much!" Pit thanked Luigi, hoping that the plumber's expertise in business would be beneficial to those attending the seminar. "It's going to be so awesome."
Now that he had found his guest speakers, Pit was ready to start his seminar. The angel met outside the meeting room with his three guest speakers, King K. Rool, Luigi...and Snake. What did Snake know about running a small business?
"King K. Rool, you open it up," Pit said to the Kremling, who nodded his head in assurance as Pit turned his attention to Luigi. "Luigi, you come in with your small biz expertise, right?" Luigi gave Pit a thumbs up, as Pit turned his attention to Snake. "And then Snake: guest speaker extraordinaire! And then I come in and just close all the sales and stuff. Um, okay, here we go!"
"Oh no, do we have to put our hands together or something?" fretted Snake as he saw Pit put his hand out in front of him. K. Rool and Luigi did the same, their hands over Pit's, as Snake groaned.
"One, two, three. Small business!" Pit and the others all lifted their hands, with Luigi accidentally smacking himself in the face.
It was now time for the seminar to begin, as Pit was standing at the front of the meeting room. The three guest speakers - King K. Rool, Luigi, and Snake - were waiting around quietly in the back.
"Welcome everybody!" Pit greeted the crowd, not receiving any kind of vocal response. Which didn't really matter to him. He wasn't like Master Hand. "Awesome to see you guys. My name is Pit, although you probably knew that already. But you can call me...you can call me...The Toga Boy!"
"Worst nickname ever," Lucina called out to Pit, cutting in slightly deep into the angel. Pit felt as if his confidence took a big hit.
"Let's get things started, shall we? You guys ready to hear from some of the business experts around? Good. Well, as you can see on your program...first up is a speech called, 'Don't Just Dream It, Do It.' Yes! Please give a big hand to King K. Rool."
Pit pointed towards K.K. Slider, who was sitting at the back of the meeting room with a music player. K.K. Slider pressed the play button on said music player, as Ozzy Osbourne's "Crazy Train" started playing. Right on cue, King K. Rool started running laps around the meeting room as part of his special entrance.
"Yes! Give yourselves into the rhythm, people!" the Kremling shouted to the residents as he channeled his inner Lucio. Hard to give into the rhythm with heavy metal music playing...
"Is this some kind of joke?" Robin whispered to Lucina, while K. Rool was sweating himself out from running too much. That weight of his was obviously holding him back.
King K. Rool: There are some people who have charm and some people who don't. Guess which type I am. Charm type.
K. Rool was soon out of breath, as he finally came to a stop at the front of the meeting room. He was so exhausted, he just might pass out in the next second or two.
"Dream...big. Right?" the very much out of breath K. Rool said to the residents, as buckets of sweat were pouring down his face. "So what I want you to do is dream the biggest that you can." K. Rool started coughing, as his lungs were recuperating from all the cardio. "And then double it!"
"Are you okay?" Pit asked K. Rool out of concern, as K. Rool looked like he was about to collapse. Can't let your first guest speaker tire out so easily, especially at the start of the seminar. Wouldn't be a good look.
"No." K. Rool, knowing that he simply couldn't let Pit down in any way, shape, or form, quickly perked up. "I mean, yes!"
"I can get you a bottle of water if you like." Pit went to a nearby cooler and opened it, grabbing a cold bottle of water. He tried offering it to K. Rool, who waved off the angel.
"No. I'm fine. Okay, from here now. The first lesson that I'm gonna teach you, right, is about finding success. And the key to finding success is to picture a winner." K. Rool would cough some more, before vomiting on the floor. The residents were all grossed out. "Okay, so then, what are you picturing right now, right this second? 'Cause the universe is yours, people. Get out of the way!" K. Rool ran out of the room, leading everyone to wonder if the Kremling would even come back.
Next up to speak was Luigi, who was asked to offer some advice about small business. In attendance was Daisy, who conspicuously walked up to the front of the meeting room when nobody was looking.
"I'm really excited to have you guys hear from Luigi," Pit said to the audience, as Daisy grabbed Luigi and tossed him to the side. Luigi just took it like a man. "He has achieved a great deal in the last..."
"But perhaps no achievement is greater than his loving wife," said Daisy, who was now standing in the spot where Luigi once stood. A surprised Pit turned around and saw Daisy, before seeing Luigi sprawled out on the floor next to her.
"Daisy, what are you doing? Luigi was supposed to..." Pit would soon find himself silenced, as Daisy walked up to the angel and placed her index finger on the angel's lips.
"Who am I? I'm Princess Daisy, the business chick." Daisy took her finger off of Pit's lips, as Pit just stood there, bewildered.
Daisy: It is important to brand yourself sometimes, so I have a couple of things in the works. "The Business Chick", "The Diet Chick", "The Shopping Chick", "The Etiquette Chick." But really, I was just there to bail out Luigi. His public speaking skills truly aren't the best.
"I could sit here, and I could tell you the ten secrets of business, and you would have a great time, and you would learn a lot," Daisy said to the audience, before pulling out her cellphone and dialing a number. "But who better to tell you than this Ivy League business management professor, who I have on my iPhone. It's ringing."
"Hey, Princess Daisy, what a delicious surprise!" greeted the professor on the phone, as the residents were murmuring among themselves about whether or not this professor was even legit.
"Professor, you are on speakerphone." As she said this, Daisy looked back at Pit, who was biting his knuckle nervously. Pit couldn't let this so-called professor steal all of Luigi's shine. "Do you think you could tell us the ten secrets of business?"
"Um, there aren't really ten secrets." Pit just wanted to swat the phone out of Daisy's hands, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it.
"Come on Scott, please? It's me. Spare the folks in attendance a few tips, if you don't mind."
"Um, alright. Well, um, I guess know your market would be key. Practice fiscal discipline."
"Is it just me, or does the 'professor' sound an awful lot like Yuffie?" Ninjara asked Dark Samus, who was sitting next to him. The ninja would know, as Yuffie constantly pestered him to join her club of ninja pals.
Pit: *frowns* That brilliant little chick.
Yuffie: Gotta say, it was pretty fun impersonating as an Ivy League professor. Really I was there to see Pit's face, though.
Tifa and Male Wii Fit were determined to help Aerith at Scrabble, and help the flower girl win at the word game for once. The two were with Aerith in the living room, giving the flower girl some word suggestions.
"A little treat for our good friend Shulk," said Male Wii Fit, before pointing at the piece of paper that Aerith was practicing on. "Put that 'q' right there. Come on, just do it..."
"I think there's a better option than the letter 'q'..." said Tifa, as Aerith tapped her pencil on her forehead while deep in thought, not sure of what move to make. Male Wii Fit was beginning to lose his patience.
"Put the 'q' there!" Male Wii Fit yelled at Aerith aggressively as Mewtwo, who was just quietly passing through, gave the fitness trainer a stare. "Sorry I yelled."
"You could have just told us what you were thinking."
"There's no theater in that."
"There's no yelling in that, either."
"Well...you have a pretty good point there."
Yukari wanted no part of Pit's seminar, still feeling pretty sad as she left the meeting room. Like any great boyfriend would do, Minato left the room with Yukari and accompanied the young woman, giving her some of his emotional support.
"What do you want to do later, in your free time?" Yukari asked Minato as the two lovebirds were chilling in the hallway. Yukari seemed pretty open to spending some quality time with Minato, which was a step in the right direction. Mario was lurking by, keeping a close eye on Minato and Yukari.
"Practice Olympics," the plumber quietly called out to Minato, while speaking in his Greek accent. Minato felt obligated to repeat whatever Mario said to him to Yukari, so he wouldn't let the plumber down.
"I like to do some, uh, practice Olympics," Minato said to Yukari, as he couldn't believe the very words that came out of his mouth. "Why did I say that...?"
"Very interesting," replied Yukari, who probably didn't think that much of Minato's response. Minato got out of dodge. "Do you want to watch a movie later?"
"Grease, the musical!" Mario quietly called out to Minato once more. Once again, Minato had an obligation to use Mario's weird suggestions.
"Why not Grease, the musical?" Minato proposed to Yukari, not expecting his girlfriend to answer yes. "It's truly a classic."
"You know what, why don't we just go to the cafe, and discuss there?" Yukari said to Minato, as she grabbed her boyfriend's hand and led him to the cafe. Mario, believing that he was getting somewhere, followed closely behind.
Minato and Yukari arrived at the cafe, where Ganondorf was sipping on some coffee. Peeking from the doorway was Mario, who was ready to feed Minato anything he should say to Yukari.
"Well, well, well...look who it is," Ganondorf said when he saw Minato and Yukari enter the cafe, as he took a sip from his cup of coffee. "You lovebirds came here to burn my dread? Or did you just want some coffee?"
"Say that you two-a are getting a greekaccino," Mario whispered to Minato, who was beginning to wonder why he hadn't told Mario to buzz off already.
"Very funny, Ganon...also, Yukari and I are getting a greekaccino," Minato said to Ganondorf, before feeling disgruntled as he rubbed his fingers through his blue hair. "Why am I even..."
"I don't know what that is." Minato didn't know how to answer, not even knowing what a greekaccino was...but Yukari was there to bail the young man out.
"It's a very strong coffee with milk from a goat," Yukari explained for Ganondorf, perking up a little as she turned her frown upside down.
"I can't believe it, it's a miracle," rejoiced Mario as he came inside the cafe to greet Yukari, whose visible sadness was all gone now. "She can-a talk! No more brain-a damage."
"Yeah, no more brain damage," said Minato, seeing that Mario had played a huge role in making Yukari happy again. It sure was unconventional, but Minato wasn't complaining.
Yukari: I don't know. Mario was doing a lot of "improv" as this Greek character over the week. Guess it just rubbed off on me.
Third on the guest speaking list was Snake, and nobody had a clue what the former spy even had to discuss. It wasn't like Snake operated a small business before, and if he did, he sure did a fantastic job at keeping a secret about it. Perhaps he did it so FOXHOUND wouldn't find out.
"Ladies and gentlemen, our special guest speaker will provoke you," Pit said to the residents, making some of them feel uncomfortable with his interesting word choice. "He will inspire you. He is...Snake!" Some applause was heard as Snake stepped up to the forefront.
"Two eyes, two ears, a chin, a mouth, ten fingers, two nipples," Snake started his speech, showing some very evident signs that he hadn't done any sort of preparation before. A huge rookie mistake. "A butt, two kneecaps, a penis. I have just described to you the Loch Ness Monster. And the reward for its capture? All the riches in Scotland. So I have one question: Why are you here?""
"Great speech, Snake!" Pit applauded the former spy, who quietly stepped back as Pit stepped out into the front again. Lots of very mixed feelings about Snake's speech, or the lack thereof. "Ladies and gentlemen, it is now time for the rarest of things, an actual free lunch. There are sandwiches in the room next to this one. Please help yourselves! We'll meet back up in an hour."
Aerith was in the lounge with Shulk, playing a game of Scrabble with the Homs. Tifa and Male Wii Fit were positioned behind the couch that Aerith and Shulk were sitting on, ready to assist the flower girl when needed.
"I picked out the movie later for movie night," Shulk said to Aerith as he made his move on the Scrabble board. "It's called 'Suspiria'. It pushes all the boundaries. All your preconceived notions about what horror can become crashing down!"
"When I win...we're gonna watch 'Wall-E', where all the boundaries of color are pushed," retorted Aerith, showing off a bit of spunk and confidence. Shulk nodded his head in approval at the confidence that Aerith was exuding.
Shulk: It is hard to explain why Aerith is doing so well today. The only thing I can think is Aerith is living out some "Slumdog Millionaire" scenario, where every word she's playing has a connection to her past in the slums. Provided that they even had slums in Radiant Garden.
The residents from the seminar met in the room adjacent to the meeting room, where plenty of snacks were waiting for them. Sonic, who was still attending the seminar just to see what Pit was up to, was speaking with a few residents, such as Yoshi.
"So what's your crazy business pipe dream?" Sonic asked Yoshi, as both gents were treating themselves with some steak kabobs. Pit asked Dunban to cook the steak kabobs since Palutena obviously couldn't be trusted.
"Well, I was kinda thinking about owning my golf supply company," replied Yoshi; Sonic thought that was a pretty boring and uninspiring idea, as he frowned in disapproval. "I want it to take off pretty fast, so I came here to learn about creating manageable growth."
"Really? A golf supply company? Not really shooting for the stars there..." Sonic finished off his steak kabob, as he walked away from Yoshi and saw Rosalina standing around. "Psst, Rosalina!"
"Hmm?" Rosalina perked up when she heard Sonic whispering her name. The mother of Lumas came over to speak with Sonic. "Yes, Sonic?"
"Some of these people are for real. Not trying to be blunt or anything, but these cats sure have no imagination. Gotta put an end to this."
Sonic looked for Pit, whom he found outside the meeting room. Pit looked up and saw Sonic, delighted that the hedgehog wanted to speak with him.
"Hey, pal, how's it going?" Sonic asked Pit, acting friendly with the angel on purpose just to get on his good side. "Great seminar so far. I think a guy like you deserves a chili dog!"
"Does that mean I've finally made the big time?" asked Pit, only for Sonic to offer him a chili dog. The angel giddily accepted the chili dog without hesitation. "Awesome, thanks!"
"So, I was thinking...why not sell some cheesesteaks? You know, Pikachu Cheesesteaks. Those sandwiches that you and your friends sold three years ago!"
"Pikachu cheesesteaks? I'm afraid that ship has already sailed, Sonic. Starting that trend back up again wouldn't do us any good!"
"Yo, Pit!" Rodin called out to the angel, coming out from the room with all the snacks and such. The demon looked like he was exhausted.
"Excuse me for a moment," Pit said to Sonic, before turning around and giving Rodin his full attention. "Hey, do you need a lozenge? Sure could use one!"
"They're a bunch of jackals," Rodin said to Pit, keeping his voice as low as possible so nobody from the room would hear him. "They left you in the lurch, and if they want to jump in, it means you're almost there. You did this. Bring it home."
"I see..." Knowing what he had to do, Pit nodded his head, before bringing his attention back to Sonic. "...Sonic, you can save that idea for now, and offer it up another time. Just know that I really appreciate the gesture."
Once the lunch break was over, the residents returned to the meeting room for the seminar to resume. Mario, Minato, and Yukari returned to the meeting room, with Yukari in happier spirits.
"Hope you all enjoyed your lunch," Pit said to the residents as they filed back inside the meeting room. The angel suddenly noticed Mario, Minato, and Yukari. "Ooh! Well, hello. Welcome back to the seminar!"
"You're gonna blow it..." Sonic whispered to Pit as he took his seat. The hedgehog still had a close eye on the angel.
"Maybe. Only maybe. I'm gonna prove you wrong, Sonic, just you wait and see!"
So far, Aerith was holding her own against Shulk in Scrabble, and the flower girl was even in the position to win! Tifa and Male Wii Fit couldn't be any happier, as they helped Aerith along the way.
"We got it! Wow! We got it!" Male Wii Fit whispered to Tifa, after seeing that Aerith was one move away from a win.
"Wait - I think the victory would be more meaningful if Aerith puts the last word in herself," whispered Tifa, wanting Aerith to make the final move without any assistance. It would be a pretty big move for her.
"Yes, Tifa. Yes, most definitely. Although I must say, I will have 'apoplexy' if Aerith loses. Do you understand? 'Apoplexy' is what I will have.
"Apoplexy, got it," said Aerith, having overheard Male Wii Fit as she played the word on the Scrabble board. Male Wii Fit's face immediately sank. "Whoops, I don't think I won..."
Aerith: I played "ape."
"Wow! What a day, right?" Pit said to the residents in the meeting room, as he was about ready to put an end to his seminar. "Guess you guys are probably ready to go. Would give you all my business card, but I don't have one..."
"Dah, dah, dah, dah, dah. You know, I like you," Mario said to Pit in his Greek accent, speaking as Mikanos. "I'm going to give-a you my secret gyro recipe. Come out here since-a it's a secret, and I'll tell you." So PIt followed Mario out of the meeting room, so he could speak with Mario...in the plumber's normal voice. "You have to close-a right now."
"Yeah, I mean, I'm not in a rush or anything. I'm getting to it.
"No, you're not. You're getting past it. You have to close. You can do it."
"You know, maybe I could just drag it on just a wee bit longer..."
"Pit, what's the problem?"
"This is hard for me. I'm a nice guy."
"Those residents in there, they believe-a in you. Don't let them-a down. Don't let yourself down, Pit. I'm gonna go back in. I'm going to stall-a them for a little bit. I want you to get your head-a together and then come back in. I want you to close." Mario let Pit stand outside in the hallway and find his mojo, as he went back inside the meeting room and reverted to his Mikanos persona. "What is taking that guy so long?"
"You think this thing's gonna go much longer?" Link asked Zelda, as the two Hylians were standing together in the hallway. There were looking at the meeting room, seeing Pit standing around.
"I don't know, they're still in there," replied Zelda, counting the number of people that were inside the meeting room. The very moment Waluigi left the room, to go to the bathroom, Link went into panic mode.
"Oh! Goodbye." Link said his deuces to Zelda as he stormed away, not wanting Waluigi to see him. Zelda was befuddled as to why Link didn't want to be seen by the lanky man.
"Stop. Out with it!" Zelda chased after Link, wanting answers out of the Hylian at once.
Zelda: Here's the story. Link is apparently afraid of Waluigi.
Link: I'm not afraid...I'm just keeping my distance. A respectful distance.
Zelda: Whenever Cloud isn't around, Waluigi comes to Link and asks him for advice on being an alpha male.
Link: Which is kinda funny, because I was only man of the mansion for less than a minute.
Zelda: Yet Walugi still thinks you're credible.
Link: Only because he's that desperate.
Zelda: Why can't you just give him some advice, and be done with it?
Link: I only give advice to wise people. Not perpetual losers like Waluigi.
Zelda: What if Waluigi gets depressed because you never gave him any pointers?
Link: You say that like it's supposed to be a bad thing...
Once he found his mojo, Pit returned to the meeting room ready to end the seminar for good. And the angel knew just the trick.
"Who would like to purchase a small business package from me right now?" Pit asked the residents, wishing he had a physical business package to give out. Little did he know that business packages didn't work that way. "Yes, we got one. Okay, the snowball is rolling. Who else? You can put it off for a couple of days, but I guarantee you, eventually you're gonna realize you need this. So the only thing that's gonna be different is you'll be a couple of days behind where you would be if you bought this from me right now. So who's gonna buy one right now?"
"I'll take one!" shouted Lloyd Irving as he shot his hand up in the high. Pit got all excited as he pointed at the swordsman.
"Yes! Awesome! Alright, anyone else?" Nobody else in the meeting room raised their hand, probably because they didn't fully trust buying a small business package (if it even existed) from Pit. "Fine choice you made, Mr. Irving. The rest of you are dead to me. You made the stupidest decision of your life!"
"No, no, no - that's not-a the way to do it," Mario said quietly, not a huge fan of how Pit decided to end the seminar.
"But it was a pleasure meeting you, although we know each other already, and I'll always be here at the mansion, so feel free to give me a chat anytime!"
The seminar finally over with, the residents all filed out of the meeting room, conversating with one another as they made their exit. Pit lingered around in the meeting room, thinking that he had done a great job, as Sonic approached the angel.
"I didn't think you had it in ya," the hedgehog said to Pit while patting him on his back. It was all part of his friendly act.
"Well, I guess when you looked in me, you forgot about my balls," replied Pit with a shrug - too much information for Sonic, who had to back away a little. "They're on the outside. Don't how you missed 'em.
Sonic: Attended the entire seminar, saw nothing really out of the ordinary. Nothing stuck out that made me question things. Pit turned down my suggestion to bring back the Pikachu Cheesesteaks (which he was crazy about), so we'll see what he's got up his sleeve. Still wondering what Lloyd's gonna do with some small business package, though.
"Well, that seminar went better than I expected," Yukari said to Minato, as the two were walking down the hallway. No Mario was around to spy on them.
"Almost as good as the first day when we first met," responded Minato, as Yukari flashed a smile - she sure could use more of those. "You are the love of my life. Put your lips on my lips..."
"Yeah...I should apologize to Junpei. Better to do it now, than never." Yukari hurried down the hallway, having to make some amends. "See you later!"
"What about the grapes?" Minato called out to Yukari, who was far down the hallway. Minato sighed, as Mario suddenly appeared. "Can't believe you actually wanted me to say that, to Yukari..."
"Today was a real-a fun day," remarked Mario, showing complete disregard for how much of a fool he made Minato look. But at least it worked!
Shulk did it...he beat Aerith in Scrabble (although it was nothing worth bragging about, given how awful Aerith was at Scrabble). And since he won, Shulk had the right to pick out the movie for movie night.
"So, I won," Shulk said to Aerith, after finding the flower girl in the gardens. The Homs was gloating a little; he was rarely this smug before.
"I know, you get to pick," responded Aerith, wishing she hadn't screwed things up on her last turn. "So what will it be?"
"Well, that's actually what I came to talk to you about. I know that you picked 'Wall-e", So I got us a compromise. This movie's called "Hardware". It tells the story of a killer combat robot, just like Wall-e, that the government invented to destroy humans. It's some of what I like and some of what Fiora likes...if we were married, that is."
"Hey, I heard you two talking about movies," said a certain swordsman, as Cloud entered the gardens while holding a DVD case. "I thought you'd really like this film, Aerith." Cloud showed the front of the DVD case to Aerith.
"There's a 'Frozen' sequel?" asked Aerith, after she saw the 'Frozen 2' cover. Being away for so long, Aerith had missed out on a lot of movies - and the 'Frozen' sequel happened to be one she overlooked.
"Yeah. Guess I'll see you later. Shulk, mind if I have a word with you?"
"Of course!" replied Shulk, as he followed Cloud to the far corner of the gardens. Aerith looked on with a smile as she watched Cloud walk away.
"Just wanted to say thank you for hanging out with Aerith today, while I was busy. Sure do appreciate it."
"Well, Cloud, that's what great pals do. Aerith almost had in our game of Scrabble, not gonna lie!"
"I bet you two had a fun time together. Now I'll need Kamui and Silas to spend some time with Aerith, to really accelerate things..."
"Accelerate what? What are you talking about, Cloud?" Cloud, realizing that he said too much, drew Shulk's suspicion.
"Oh, nothing...that was just some lousy silly talk. Thanks again, Shulk." Cloud quickly retreated, acknowledging Aerith's presence as he went back inside the mansion interior.
"Man, what a guy..." Shulk smirked after Cloud had left, shaking his head with a smile on his face and his hands on his hips.
Cloud spoke with Master Hand inside the giant hand's room, discussing his trip to Edge. While showing Master Hand any "evidence" that was worth showing.
"Well, Master Hand, when will Marlene be joining us?" Cloud asked the giant hand, who took time to think of a suitable time. "You got the final say."
"It's too late now to bring Marlene home..." replied Master Hand, seeing that it was close to dinner time. "...we won't have enough time to get Marlene used to the mansion! Let's shoot for next Friday."
"But why not before Friday? Not like there's anything getting in our way."
"Silly Cloud, the documentary crew isn't here before Friday! You think they want to miss out on Marlene's first day, as a mansion resident?"
"I guess not...I suppose we can wait it out if you want. I'll let Barret know right now."
So Cloud left Master Hand's room, about to go look for Barret. But upon exiting the room, the swordsman was greeted by Pit, who ran up to him.
"Hey Cloud, I did a small business seminar while you were out," Pit informed the swordsman, eager with how the seminar turned out. "And I think everyone who attended liked it! Bet they're glad they came."
Robin: I only attended Pit's seminar just to be nice. I was half-asleep most of the time.
Dark Pit: Pit begged me to come to his seminar, so I came. He still owes me one, though.
King K. Rool: I thought I had the best speech out of all the guest speakers. Almost gave myself a heart attack from running at the very beginning, but it was worth it to help motivate people.
Snake: My speech was entirely made up, I just said some random crap and went back to my seat. Yet Pit still gave me props! I'll take it.
"Was that supposed to net you some money?" Cloud asked Pit, appreciating the gesture by Pit but not understanding its purpose. "At least it's better than taking money from a record label..."
"For what it's worth, I sold a 'small business package' to Lloyd. Wasn't in physical form, though. Anyways, Lloyd came to me after the seminar and..."
"Let me guess, he was the only person who bought the 'small business package'. Would be a very Lloyd thing for him to do."
"Yeah, he was the only one, but he told me why he did it afterward. He said that he wanted to...revamp himself. Whichever way possible."
"Revamp himself? What does he mean by..." Cloud went silent real quick, as he came to understand what Lloyd had meant. "...oh, I think I see what he's trying to say."
"What is that? Maybe I'm missing something." Either Pit was thinking too hard, or he just wasn't thinking hard enough.
"You'll see where Lloyd is coming from, eventually. That is, if you decide to work with him. Which I think you should."
"He did some pretty eager and sincere...eh, it's worth a try. Lloyd and I will find you enough funds in no time, Cloud!"
"Good. I should go look for Barret now. Don't do anything to ruin my trust, Pit. You got one strike so far...don't need two more."
"We won't let you down, Cloud!" Pit gave Cloud a thumbs up, as Cloud walked away. Was it wrong for Cloud to trust Pit? The answer might be yes. But Cloud seemed to know what he was doing. Pit was helping out Cloud...
...and in a weird way, Cloud could be helping him. The same might go for Lloyd.