Author's Note:
276 chapters in...man, I'm getting old. And it appears that I'm closing in on four million words...yay, I guess. I honestly stopped caring about the word count a long time ago - pumping out good-quality chapters has always been my goal. Also, did you know that the longest story on his site is a Loud House fanfic with over nine million words?! Just discovered that recently. Crazy. But yeah, let's answer some reviews:
"Will Pyra's jealousy get worse? Can you add a small scene of Reiji from Namco X Capcom interacting with Klarth/Claus from Tales of Phantasia? (Kazuhiko Inoue voices both of them as well as Professor Elm). A RWBY: Grimm Eclipse chapter? (The game comes out for the Switch in May). A Ninja Gaiden chapter when the Master Collection comes out? And finally, which final two characters do you hope they announce for the fighters pass?"
Pyra's jealousy will be a topic I might touch upon in future chapters. I don't know about doing that scene. with Reiji and Klarth. Probably don't have any room for a RWBY chapter in May. Definitely doing a NInja Gaiden chapter. And as for the final two characters in the Fighters Pass, I'm leaning towards Crash and maybe Dante. Both of them would make for pretty hype reveals at E3. Another anonymous review:
"This might sound random, but what if Ninjara and Pac-Man teamed up? Remember that Knitting Club hullabaloo? And how Pac-Man is being forced to join them? Maybe Ninjara can help Pac-Man with his Knitting Club problem."
Ninjara and Pac-Man does sound like a random team-up, but I could make it work. Moving on:
"Also, when is Krystal gonna have her baby due? I think it's been like 7 months since her pregnancy was discovered. So...May?"
Could happen in May...could happen earlier, who knows. On to Some Smash news:
"I don't know if this is the right place to say it, but I need to tell you some news related to the Smash community. Did you know about ZeRo and his suicide attempt?"
Saw the news about ZeRo online - I was hoping that he wouldn't attempt suicide, but alas, he did. Hopefully, he can get all the help he needs. Moving on:
"And on the brighter side of the community, do you know about that hashtag UnBanNairo, where everyone is rallying for Nairo and asking for Twitch to lift his channel ban?"
I have heard about it. It's encouraging to see Nairo making a comeback, especially after that whole social media witch hunt. Hard to believe so many people took CaptainZack for granted (I might've been a little guilty myself, at first). Moving on:
"And finally, what's your opinion on the ongoing Smash World Tour by VGBootCamp? They're making a Smash tournament circuit around the world. Do you think that Nintendo will give them a cease and desist, or instead they will support them because they didn't use any mod-related stuff for the circuit? Also, what do you think is better, offline Smash or online Smash?"
I have no strong opinion on the Smash World Tour, or how Nintendo will treat it. And offline Smash or online Smash...I don't have a strong preference for either one. Next up is An NFL fan:
"Another random question, what is Corrin's opinion on Cam Newton? Does he see Cam as the Darth Maul to Bill Belichick's Palpatine, or does he even like Cam at all, since he's clearly not Tom Brady?"
I'd like to think that Corrin likes anyone that plays for the New England Patriots, so he might think of Cam Newton as Darth Maul. Kinda makes sense when you think about it. Next we have TIME TO GO:
"I agree with UltimateCCC's review. Some of the non-Smash-related residents really overstayed their welcome. The biggest examples are the Hearts siblings, Akuma, and probably Leia or Asuka. I wanted to add the Crash Bandicoot characters, but they seem important to the story."
Those characters you mentioned and more will be moving out of the mansion soon, before year's end. I've only kept the Crash characters around, in the sheer hope that Crash will join Smash (fingers crossed). And last is Bowser327:
"Is it possible for him and Pandoria to become residents? The other Xenoblade 2 party members are already there."
No, but they will be appearing as recurring guests. That's the best that I can do...oh, wait, one more review! From A JRPG enjoyer (again not videogamedunkey):
"Also, it's kinda interesting that you NEVER mentioned the Monster Hunter series (and the Monster Hunter himself) at all in the story, besides Rathalos and Magnamalo. Because when I read the first chapter, you make it clear that the Monster Hunter mii costume won't get their own character in the story. It's gonna make it awkward if Monster Hunter is the next Smash character, which is VERY likely.
Ha, that's something I actually thought about when I wrote the last chapter. Monster Hunter has barely received any mention at all in this story. You could say that I never cared for the Monster Hunter series, but I don't think that's entirely true. In hindsight, I wonder if including the Monster Hunter in the mansion from the start would've made a big difference, but frankly, I don't think it would...
Episode 276: Bourbon
Cloud was feeling pretty bad about himself over the past few weeks. Not only did he give the money that Pit and Lloyd raised to Professor E. Gadd, but he also replaced it with counterfeit money. And both Pit and Lloyd discovered the counterfeit money recently.
When informed by Pit about what happened to the money, Cloud promised the angel that he would get down to the bottom of the situation. But that was a promise that the swordsman couldn't bring himself to fulfill. So to keep his mind off of things, Cloud had a word with Mario inside Master Hand's room.
"But I would say my favorite art-a form is a tie between sculpting and stand-up comedy," Mario said to Cloud, who was listening on with his arms folded. Isabelle was also there, keeping tabs.
"I did stand-up comedy once," confessed Cloud, as Mario gasped at the swordsman and looked at him out of pure astonishment. Literally any other person on this planet would have the same reaction.
"You did?" Mario felt grateful to have learned this astonishing fact about Cloud, whether the fact was true or not. Cloud was obviously a very secretive man.
"Yeah, I killed. Killed the mood..." Cloud lowered his head, as he wanted to forget his stand-up comedy performance as much as he possibly could.
"That sounds like it was hilarious." Seeing how down Cloud was on himself, Mario only made that comment to cheer up the swordsman.
"It was hilarious. But for mainly the wrong reasons."
Cloud: Yeah, I did some stand-up comedy back at Midgar. How did it go? They didn't have any tomatoes at the venue, so everyone instead threw balls of manure at me. It was probably the longest bath of my life.
"Cloud, what's the meaning of this email that everyone got?" Shulk asked the swordsman, as he came busting inside Master Hand's room while armed with his cellphone.
"You'll have to be more specific Shulk, I get like eight emails a day," replied Cloud - eight emails a day? Must be a bunch of subscription notices from the Swordsman Weekly magazine.
"This one, from B.D. Joe to all of the residents." B.D Joe, sending an email to the mansion residents...something must be up.
"Woohoo, shout out!" cheered Mario, believing that the residents should feel honored to receive an email from a fantastic taxi driver like B.D. Joe. "Well, Shulk, what does it say?"
"'What's up everyone, I am sure you have seen the news article in the Journal,'" Shulk read B.D. Joe's email to Mario, Cloud, and Isabelle. "'I just want to let y'all know that it's just an opinion piece. If there's anything that you wanna know I will let you know ASAP.'"
"Isabelle, do we have the journal?" Mario asked the Shih Tzu, who was the worst person around for keeping stuff. Always forgetful.
"Your feelings journal?" answered Isabelle, to which Mario eagerly nodded his head yes. "You told me to put it in the time capsule." Upon hearing this, Mario frowned and smacked himself on the forehead.
"He means the Wall Street Journal online," Cloud informed Mario, wondering how and when B.D. Joe discovered the Wall Street Article article in particular. "Got a real bad feeling about this..."
With the residents (but mostly those who had a cellphone, or an email address for that matter) having received the email, many of them were interested in checking out the article that B.D. Joe saw online. Gil, the de facto librarian, took it upon himself to find the Wall Street Journal article on a computer in the library.
"I found the article," announced Gil, as a host of residents gathered around the computer that the de facto librarian was sitting at. Gil cleared his throat, prepared to do some reading. "'During the ongoing pandemic, many small businesses across the United States were negatively impacted. One small business in Seattle, Washington - a food delivery service - was negatively impacted, but not because of the pandemic. According to those associated with the owner of the delivery service…' and the article cuts off."
"It's $1.99 to finish-a the article," stated Mario, who was one of those gathered around the computer. "I wonder what it was going to say?" The plumber looked at the others, waiting for one of them to make a move, only to see reluctant faces. Eventually, Terry heaved a sigh.
"Are you serious?" the fighter groaned as he started typing into the computer. Terry was about to lose roughly two dollars today, but ultimately, it was for the greater good.
"I got it, I got it..." said Falco as he began to lean in towards the computer, only to stop when he saw Terry already typing. "...Oh, Big T beat me to it."
"'The money that was raised from delivering healthy food around Seattle was replaced - by counterfeit money,'" Rosalina finished off the article, as she and those gathered around gasped collectively.
"No, no, that doesn't make-a any sense," worried Mario, with his hands on his head; he knew that the article was referring to Lloyd's delivery service, and he hated that Pit and Lloyd's hard work was all for naught.
"Oh my goodness, Pit and Lloyd made it on the Journal!" remarked Doc Louis, shaking his head in dismay before taking a bite from his chocolate bar. "And for all the wrong reasons..."
"I'll say - Pit and Lloyd hasn't quite been themselves as of late," remarked Gil, who took note of Pit and Lloyd's behavior since the events of the last episode. "I'd imagine they would hate to see an article like this."
"Oh, this sounds-a awful," said Mario, who was mostly out of the loop in regards to Lloyd's delivery service. This was his first time hearing anything about some counterfeit money.
"This could very well mean the end of Lloyd's delivery service. Can't see him or Pit back on the road again."
"Well, that's an interesting theory. And to think, they worked-a so hard for everyone's respect..."
"You know what? Pit and Lloyd can have jobs at a corn maze as human scarecrows," suggested Banjo, as Kazooie and the others gave the bear dubious looks. "On the downside, it doesn't pay much and you can't unionize."
Kazooie: Back when we were left behind during King Dedede's road trip, one of the corn maze workers hired Banjo as a scarecrow. It wasn't really much, Banjo didn't get paid for just standing around doing nothing. He tried speaking with the other scarecrows, and that did nothing but make me lose my sanity.
Cloud was feeling more guilty than before - Pit and Lloyd having their money stolen reached front-page news, being reported by the Wall Street Journal. That meant one of the residents wanted to bring awareness to the misfortune at hand, or even worse, wanted to snitch on Cloud. And that left Cloud in a dire state of mind.
"I tried to pay for the rest of the article, but Terry beat me to the punch," Falco said to Fox, as the two pilots were hanging out in the Pokemon sanctuary with Moira, Sonic, and Tails. Moira and Tails were conducting some tests, while Sonic begrudgingly awaited whatever task Moira threw upon him.
"Don't sweat it, man - you'll get it next time," Fox assured Falco as he patted the avian pilot on his shoulder. Soon Cloud showed up in the sanctuary. "Hey, Cloud, you heard the news about..."
"Yeah, I'm already aware," Cloud quickly answered, with an awfully suspect speed of response, as he made his way over to Moira. "Moira, can I speak with you for a brief moment?"
"If you wish, Mr. Strife," replied Moira, putting her vials away as Cloud led her far away from the others. "What is it that you wanted to speak with me about?"
"Think I'm in big trouble...apparently, the Wall Street Journal caught wind of Lloyd having his money stolen and replaced with counterfeit bills. The article said there were just rumors, but..."
"Now would be a good time to come clean, and admit the truth." Moira could tell by the look on Cloud's face that the swordsman was hesitant. "What do you have to lose?"
"Pit's trust, perhaps. And maybe even Lloyd's." As the conversation carried on, Fox and Falco suddenly peeked around the corner, both eavesdropping. "I don't want them to hate me forever."
"Those two hating you forever sounds...drastic, but they would appreciate a little truth. Better than to leave them in the dark."
"They're totally talking about Shinra," Fox quietly whispered to Falco, having absolutely no idea about the context of the conversation. "Shinra probably couldn't handle Aerith being alive again."
Fox: Don't think that the Aerith that we revive from the dead would be too different from the Aerith that we all grew to know and love. Although, it would be funny if after Aerith is alive again, she confessed her love for Zack Fair and breaks Cloud's heart. Has Cloud even considered that? Guess he's that short-sighted if he hasn't.
"Psst, Tails!" someone whispered to the yellow fox, who stopped working and looked around. Soon Tails looked over and saw Crash and Coco, with the latter beckoning to him.
"If that Moira asks me for a glass of water one more time..." frowned Sonic, before he saw Tails leaving the sanctuary without giving any kind of warning. "...yo, Tails, wait up for me! Where are you going, man?"
"Thanks for hearing me out, Moira," thanked Cloud, as he and Moira returned to the original premises. "Just needed to get that off my...hey, where did Tails run off to?"
"Drat, and it seems that his friend Sonic left, too..." frowned Moira, more upset about Sonic leaving the sanctuary than Tails. "...my mouth was starting to feel a little dry."
"Fox? Falco?" someone whispered to the pilots, who were about to head over to Cloud and Moira. Fox and Falco turned around and spotted Makoto, standing with Sephiroth. "Can you come over here?"
"Uh, sure," replied Fox, glancing over his shoulder to see if Cloud wasn't looking, before he and Falco walked over to Makoto and Sephiroth. "What's up?"
"Has Cloud been acting...different, as of late?" Sephiroth asked the pilots with a crooked smile, dying to know as much as possible. "Noticed any changes to his behavior?"
"Well, he has been more committed, I'll give him that," replied Falco, as he saw Makoto jotting down what he said on a notepad. Falco got a good sense of where things were going. "What is it that you wanna know about the man?"
Knowing that Master Hand deserved to know about what happened with Pit and Lloyd's money, Mario gave the giant hand a call in the foyer. The thing was, Master Hand didn't have a phone with him. But Master Hand's "secondary assistant", Star Records secretary Ayaha Oribe, had a phone, and she was out handling some business with Master Hand.
"I'm sorry, Mario, Master Hand's in a meeting," Ayaha spoke with Mario over the phone in the foyer, with Isabelle listening on. Ayaha sounded like she didn't want to delve into what the meeting was about. "I was forced to attend this meeting, against my will."
"Ah, well, maybe you should-a spy on him," responded Mario, before saying the following in a valley girl voice: "Wouldn't that be hilarious!" The plumber laughed afterward, as Ayaha let out an unamused sigh.
"Um, I'll just have him call you back. I can hear Master Hand and Master Kohga saying some questionable stuff...better see what's going on."
"Okay. Good. I'll catch-a you on the flippity flip. Bye." Mario hung up the phone, before turning his attention to Isabelle. "He's busy, he'll call-a me back when he's free."
What was this meeting about, you ask, and where did it take place? It took place at the Yiga Clan hideout, and it mainly involved Master Hand meeting with Master Kohga. The two were discussing plans for Easter.
"Is it possible to have Peppy Hare and the Arcade Bunny poop eggs?" Kohga asked Master Hand, who was profoundly disturbed and offended by the question. "If not, my men can give them some potions that would make them..."
"Screw that nonsense! We don't need too much of Easter Bunny crap," stated Master Hand, who wanted to do Easter Sunday his own way. "He's just like a Santa Claus - a stinking imaginary creature only meant for advertising purposes. At least Santa Claus actually makes sense, aside from the flying reindeer."
"My apologies, Master Hand - just got off the phone with Mario," Ayaha apologized to the giant hand as she returned to where the meeting was. "Told me that the money Pit and Lloyd raised from delivering food was stolen and..."
"They had their money stolen? Heh, I'm not surprised. But I smell foul play. What if they paid someone to steal their money on purpose, just so they could play the victim card?"
"Sounds like too elaborate of a plan...but we can talk more about this later when your meeting is done. Whenever that will be..."
Peppy Hare was walking through the hallways, minding his own business when he heard some loud vomiting sounds from a nearby bathroom. Curious, and concerned, Peppy ran to the bathroom and opened the door, seeing Mario standing over the toilet.
"Mario, are you okay?" Peppy asked the plumber as he entered the bathroom. Mario looked perfectly fine, from the looks of it. "Did you throw up in there?"
"No, I'm just-a poopin'," replied Mario as he flushed the toilet to eliminate any possible evidence. "You know how I be."
"It smells like vomit in here." Peppy sniffed the air, as a very foul stench entered his nostrils.
"Crazy world. Lotta smells." Mario walked out of the bathroom, avoiding further suspicion from Peppy, as Peppy opened the bathroom window.
Word soon spread around the mansion about Pit and Lloyd's business and there was a growing fear that there might be a thief, stealing money. Some folks had their bets on Popple, the Shadow Thief, but a guy like him was more interested in stealing petty stuff. Like used mattresses, for instance.
"Guys, what if a thief is going around stealing our stuff?" Leaf discussed with several residents in the gaming room; a horrible thought suddenly entered the Pokemon trainer's head and caused her to gasp. "What if that thief started kidnapping people?"
"Yeah, that sounds pretty unlikely," scoffed Sora as he looked over at Kairi, who felt awfully concerned about the situation. Kairi lowkey supported Pit and Lloyd when they ran the delivery service, and to hear that their money was replaced with counterfeit bills made her feel down.
Sora: I like Kairi. Think that has been pretty obvious so far. I was kinda hoping she would ask me out, but things have not panned out on that front, so...it is time for the "Home Dog" to take matters into his own paws. ("Home Dog" is what K.K. Slider usually calls me. It's kinda endearing.)
Mario returned to his house, playing and singing along to "Lullaby" by Shawn Mullins in his living room. Much to the chagrin of Spyro, who was trying to sleep, and Jennifer, who was crying profusely. Cloud entered Mario's house, being let in by Peach, and saw Mario singing his worries away.
"We have to do something," Cloud alerted Mario, turning the volume down on Mario's computer as Mario trailed off singing. "Because people are losing it out there wondering what might happen to them."
"In that case, we need some sort-a of distraction for everybody," stated Mario, before glancing at his computer. Had a bunch of YouTube tabs open, all for nonsensical reasons. "Anything new on YouTube? Doesn't even need-a to be good. Mama mia, I can't think, need more-a Mullins."
"Listen, B.D. Joe said in that email that Wall Street Journal was just spreading rumors, right? So we have no reason to think Lloyd's delivery service is anything but fine. So if we just go on about with our day, you and me, they'll follow along."
"Monkey see, monkey do..." It took a moment for Mario to understand what Link meant, but soon he saw the light. "...monkey pee all-a over you."
"That...rhymes, so what have we on the docket today?"
"Nothing really, but we can hold-a some impromptu meeting in the meeting room."
Crash and Coco brought Tails to Ema Skye's room, and the bedroom door was locked for the time being. Ema must be really busy in there.
"Are you done in there?" Coco asked Ema as she knocked on the door, only to be met with silence. "Still no response..."
"Really thought you guys could just leave me behind?" said Sonic, as he finally caught up to his friends. He would have been out of breath, if not for his amazing stamina. "Can't just do your boy like that."
"We didn't need you, Sonic, we only came for Tails." Soon Sonic recognized that the three were gathered at Ema's room, as he frowned.
"Oh, I see what it is...you only got Tails so that you and Ema can do some 'science' stuff with him! If that's the case, then why's Crash with you?"
"He just...he wanted to come along, okay?" No way Sonic was going to buy that. "If he gets in our way, I'll kick him to the curb..."
"Sorry for the hold-up, you guys," Ema apologized as she opened her bedroom door, before taking her goggles off. Tails was the first person she saw. "Ah, I see you managed to bring Tails. Great!"
"Alright, Ema, what is this science crap that you're doing with Coco and Tails?" Sonic asked the forensics expert, as Coco smacked her forehead.
"Wouldn't say that it's 'science crap'...but a hedgehog such as yourself you wouldn't understand." Ema saw Sonic trying to look past the forensics expert, to see what was inside her room, and she did her best to obstruct his view.
"I'll have you know, Ema, that I'm doing some science myself! Tails and I are a part of the Aerith Revival Project..."
Realizing that he was supposed to keep Cloud's project a secret, Sonic covered his mouth as Tails was left shaking his head. However, his verbal slip caught Ema's great intrigue.
"Aerith Revival Project, is that so?" grinned Ema as she stroked her chin, making Sonic feel less guilty. "Maybe I was right to bring Tails along...alright, Sonic, you're free to join our team!"
"Awesome!" cheered Sonic as he pumped his fist, having no idea about what he was so excited about. "Wait, I'm a part of your team? I'm doing science crap with you guys?"
"It would be better if I explained everything instead. You guys come on in. And Sonic, please don't sit on my nightstand..."
Mario and Cloud worked together and reeled in as many residents as they could to the meeting room. Together they gathered R.O.B., Ray, Chibi-Robo, Slippy, Sora, and Kairi, among many others. Basically, they reeled in those who were worried about what happened with Pit and Lloyd's money.
"Here's the deal guys - there is no new information as of yet, so I suggest we all just keep doing what you're doing," Cloud addressed everyone in the meeting room, doing his best to quell everyone's fears. Poor guy felt bad about downplaying the situation earlier to Mario.
Cloud: Sure I'm a little nervous - nervous that the others might find out my secret - but everyone going about their day will make them feel better. I only slack off when things are good.
"In the meantime, I can offer one of you guys this coupon I got," continued Cloud as he dug into his pocket, pulling out a coupon. Mario dug into his pocket as well, pulling out his cellphone as he left the meeting room. "It's a coupon for Seattle Meowtropolitan which, believe it or not, is an actual establishment. Rex said so himself."
"What? Mama mia!" exclaimed Mario as he returned to the meeting room, speaking on his phone. Everyone started asking questions, as Cloud could easily tell that the phone call was imaginary. "There has been a murder. There's been a murder in-a Savannah!" Mario ran back out of the meeting room, leaving Cloud bewildered.
"I'll...go see what Mario's talking about," Cloud said to the residents in the meeting room, as he left the premises. What if this was the swordsman's cover for getting out of dodge.
Mario: Games have the power to distract-a people from stressful situations. I should know from-a experience - or at least the experience of others. Battleship got Pac-Man Jr. through-a his parents' fighting. Operation got Berkut through-a his vasectomy, i.e., his operation. I don't think Rayman would have been able to endure-a his breakup with Barbara had it not been for Toss Across. Rayman claimed that he and Barbara were-a never in a relationship, but we all know he's-a lying...
Zeke and Pandoria were back at the mansion, for Zeke had to give Rex "Part Two" of Pyra and Mythra's gift for joining Smash. Like last week, Zeke gave Rex the gift in the middle of the hallway.
"Are these boxes of candles?" asked Rex, after Zeke handed him two boxes of birthday candles. Part Three of the gift was looking very predictable now. "Zeke, are you seriously going to give Pyra and Mythra a cake?"
"Cake? A cake?! Preposterous!" exclaimed Zeke, appalled by Rex's question. The Crown Prince couldn't believe his own ears. "What could possibly make you believe that the gift would be some lousy cake?"
"I mean, you did give me a lighter last week...that has to mean something." It was amusing for Rex to see how visibly frustrated Zeke was. And how much Pandoria was mimicking Zeke.
"A cake, for Pyra and Mythra...inconceivable, for you to even think that." As Zeke was done acting out, he saw Link heading down the hallway.
"Ah, there you are, Rex," Link called out to the swordsman, as he had some work for his assistant wedding planner. "I need you to..." The Hylian would be interrupted when Cloud ran by and carried Link away.
"No time for talk, I need you to be my stand-in," Cloud said to Link as he carried the Hylian away, against his will. Zeke was taken back by what he had just witnessed.
"That poor man is being kidnapped!" exclaimed the Crown Prince, as he and Pandoria went to go save Link from the clutches of Link. "Have no fear - for I am here to save you!"
"Zeke, Cloud is not kidnapping..." Rex was about to inform Zeke, but the Crown Prince was already gone. Rex sighed as he walked away.
Cloud took Link to the meeting room, thrusting the Hylian inside. By the time Link turned around to reason with Cloud, Cloud was already gone! Link sighed as he turned back around, seeing Mario in the meeting room with a game box.
"Belles, Bourbon and Bullets, a murder mystery dinner party game," Kohaku read the game box cover, as she and her brother Hisui were looking at the cover along with everyone else in the room.
"It is so much-a fun," said Mario as he placed the game box on the meeting room table, before moving said table out of the way. "Everybody plays a character, we go around-a the room, we try to figure-a out who did it..."
"Hey, I am wondering if this is a, uh, terrible idea," Link offered his two cents, worried that those playing might take the game out of hand. Mario was easily the biggest culprit.
"This is my call Link, big-a picture stuff, it's about murder."
"I thought you and Cloud agreed that you wouldn't do things like this."
"Tube City, Cloud owes-a me one." Link had absolutely nothing to say about that.
Cloud: Being the man of the mansion is a give and take, mostly whenever Mario butts in. You have to pick your battles. One of the battles that I picked was to stop Mario from running plastic tubes all over the mansion and placing Dedenne inside of them. He was going to call it Tube City. So, yes, I do owe him one.
"R.O.B. has a built-in CD player that you can use," Ray said to Mario, who took a game CD out of the game box, as R.O.B. opened a disc tray from its body. Mario placed the CD inside the disc tray, and then R.O.B. closed it. Seconds later, R.O.B. started calibrating, and then...
"August the 5th, 1955," said R.O.B., using the voice from the game CD. The voice had a very southern twang to it. "It's a sad day down here in Savannah. Local magnate Bill Bourbon was killed last night and all y'all have congregated tonight for a meal to celebrate Bill as he passes on to his great reward. You're not just here to pay your respects, you have to figure out which of y'all is the no-count scoundrel who killed him.
"This is ridiculous," remarked Little Mac, as he and Palutena were about to leave. Mario freaked out, for he couldn't let anyone pass up the opportunity of playing perhaps the best party game of a lifetime.
"There will-a be food," Mario enticed Little Mac and Palutena, who both stopped in their tracks as they were one foot away from the meeting room door. "You leave, you do not get-a food."
"What kind of food?" Little Mac looked over at Mario with a curious glace, forcing Mario to think of something on the fly.
"Sandwich-a platters, and baby carrots." And just like magic, Little Mac and Palutena were both intrigued.
"I'm in!" Little Mac and Palutena went back to their original spots, hoping that the food would come sooner rather than later.
Cloud dusted his hands off, as he walked down the hallway. But it wouldn't be long before he was met by a certain Crown Prince.
"You!" shouted Zeke, as he and Pandoria stood in Cloud's way. Cloud stopped in his tracks as Zeke pointed at him. "You are the one who kidnapped that funny man with the tunic, aren't you?"
"You mean Link?" asked Cloud - just mention "funny man" and "tunic" in the same breath, and Cloud will instantly know what you were talking about. "Yeah, I wasn't really kidnapping him, I just needed him for a favor."
"Just a favor, eh? And you expect me to believe in your silly little lie? Ha! As if!"
"Sorry that you can't handle the truth...and who are you supposed to be?"
"Glad that you asked...I am Zeke von Genbu, Bringer of Chaos! You may call me Zeke! Or the Zekenator! And this is my blade, Pandoria!"
"...think I'm just gonna call you Zeke, all those monikers sound made-up." Zeke felt utterly defeated when Cloud said that. "Now can you please move out of my way? I'm kinda busy at the moment."
"Busy doing what, exactly? You're not going to run off and kidnap another elfin man, are you?"
"Who knows, I might...I actually see one walking behind you. Better hope that you can stop me before I catch him."
"An elfin man? Where, where is he?" Zeke and Pandoria turned around, as Cloud took the opportunity to walk past the duo. Once Zeke and Pandoria turned back around, they saw that cloud was gone. "Oh! Tried to fool us, did he? We can play his little game..."
"Here-a are your character cards," Mario said to the residents as he passed around character cards, before setting up a prop box. "Here is your prop-a box, some of your characters will-a have props. Now, on your character card, it tells you who-a you are, and what your alibi is. Everything else is up-a to your imagination. So, if you talk slowly in real-a life, your character could, say, have been kicked-a in the head by a horse.
"Whoa, I'll try it!" exclaimed King Dedede, eager and ready to unleash his imagination as he dug through the prop box.
"Okay, use your imaginations. Use your...imagination!" Mario did a motion with his hands, trying to craft an imaginary rainbow. Part of him hoped that the rainbow was real, just for added effect.
"Who'd you get?" Sora asked Kairi after he and the redhead both drew their character cards. The two were hanging out in a corner of the meeting room.
"Naughty Nellie Nutmeg, a vivacious young socialite with a penchant for scandal," replied Kairi, as she showed her character card to Sora. "How about you?"
"Nathaniel Nutmeg, the local bartender and Nellie's brother. Looks like we're both siblings...hehe."
"Mario, I don't like this game, it's scary," Palutena discussed with Mario, as she was having some second doubts about playing Belles, Bourbon and Bullets.
"It's not-a scary," Mario assured Palutena, not wanting the goddess of light to miss out on some baby carrots. He was banking on Cilan to bring some, and keep Palutena placated.
"I don't like my character." This was Mario's biggest worry - a willing participant refusing to play a game, all because they resented their character.
"Who are you?" asked Zelda, as Palutena held up some head of some old witch hag. One who looked like she came from the bayou of New Orleans.
"Voodoo Mama Juju, the witch doctor of the Savannah swamps. I'm not comfortable with this."
"Well, how do you think-a I feel?" Mario asked Palutena, finding himself in the same boat as the goddess of light. "I mean I have to play Caleb Crawdad, a handsome-a playboy. Every night, a different-a woman. Being ogled. Having to hug and kiss-a and spoon, I make them feel-a beautiful."
Cloud stopped by Cortex's room, wishing to speak with Cortex for one particular reason. It was a reason that Cortex dreaded the most.
"No way am I going to serve as anyone's fall guy!" Cortex said to Cloud, shooting the swordsman's offer down in a hurry. "My house arrest already ended; I'm not going through that again!"
"It's not like you deserve to go out much anyway," said Cloud, as Zeke and Pandoria were both creeping around the corner. "Every other time that you do, you always get in trouble with the cops for disturbing the peace. You really need an extreme makeover."
"Aha! We meet again, spiky hair!" Zeke called out to Cloud, who grumbled and turned to face Zeke and Pandoria. "Thought that you could escape from us so easily?"
"Yes, yes I did," responded Cloud in the most deadpan voice possible. Zeke was starting to test his patience. "Can I help you two with something?"
"Hey pal, what's with the eyepatch?" Wario asked Zeke, as he couldn't help but notice the eyepatch that was over the Crown Prince's left eye. "Are you some kind of wannabe pirate?"
"A wannabe pirate I am not!" proclaimed Zeke as he proudly stomped his foot on the floor; Pandoria would do the same. "I am the Crown Prince of Tantal! And this eyepatch conceals a power too great for mere mortals to comprehend...the Eye of Shining Justice!"
"Sounds fake," remarked Cloud, believing that every bit of lore associated with Zeke was nothing more than a fallacy. "Do you ever take that eyepatch off?"
"Only under extreme purposes; I keep it sealed until its power is needed to save mankind. Count yourselves lucky - it would turn you all into ash in seconds!"
"He definitely isn't wearing it because he didn't have the gold for a second contact lens," Pandoria informed Cloud and company, giving some small insight on how poor Zeke was.
Cloud: The girl with the glasses can speak...though she's more tolerable than Zeke, I'd prefer that she stays quiet.
"You must be a poor, poor man..." Cortex said to Zeke as he shook his head, before digging into his pocket. "...how about I give you some gold coins, to hold you over?"
"Gold coins?! Yes, yes please!" exclaimed Zeke as he ran over to Cortex holding his hands out. Cortex took several gold coins out of his pocket and dropped them in Zeke's open hands. "Wait a blasted minute...something is amiss here!"
"You fool, those are chocolate coins!" Zeke noticed the wrapper on the coins, and unraveled it, gasping when he saw chocolate underneath. "Ah, that felt so good..."
"Gotta admit, that was pretty smooth, Dr. Cortex," Wario said to the evil genius - an extremely rare compliment from the fatso himself. Pandoria facepalmed out of embarrassment.
"Grr..." Zeke angrily growled, only to notice that someone was missing from the room. "...wait, where is spiky hair?
Mario was ready to start playing Belles, Bourbon and Bullets. But first, he had to make sure that everyone participating was tuned in. One participant, Tom Nook, was busy noodling away on his cellphone.
"Well, well, well...what is this contraption, I do declare?" Mario asked Tom Nook, before swiping the cellphone out of Tom Nook's hand. The plumber was speaking with a very strong Southern flair, having suppressed his own Italian accent.
"It's my iPhone Mario, I am trying to get updates on Lloyd's business," replied Tom Nook, as he wanted to get down to the bottom of what happened with Pit and Lloyd's money.
"Who's Mario? I'm Caleb Crawdad, I do declare." Mario was really tapped into his character - for better or for worse.
"You don't have to keep saying 'I do declare', any time you say something it means you are declaring," the Luminary said to Mario, who stuck his finger in the swordsman's face.
"That is the way Southern people talk." The Luminary couldn't knock on Mario for the authenticity of his Southern accent, though.
"And what Designing Woman are you basing that on?" asked Link, who was once forced to watch Designing Women with Zelda. One of the downsides of being a boyfriend (or fiance, in Link's case) was being forced to watch TV shows you didn't care for.
"Delta Burke, I do declare. Now, shall we get to the mystery?"
"I'll go," volunteered Zelda, before she started speaking in a Southern accent. "My name is Deborah U. Tante. Deb for short."
"That's clever, Debutante," responded Sora, trying to speak in a Southern accent only to fail miserably. Kairi couldn't help but giggle.
"Bill Bourbon was my uncle. I would have never hurt him any more than I'd hurt a June bug."
"Nice accent! You sound like Forrest Gump," Kohaku said to Zelda, as Hisui looked away and pinched the crown of his nose. Kohaku sure knew how to embarrass her older brother.
"I do not." Zelda did not like Kohaku's compliment one bit, which sounded more like an insult to her.
"Well, you do actually," Snake said to Zelda, having watched Forrest Gump enough times to know what the main character sounded like. "You've got this kinda like Florida Panhandle thing going, whereas what you really want is more of a Savannah accent, which is more like molasses just sorta spillin' out of your mouth."
"Ooh, ooh, do the Swedish Chef!" King Dedede requested Zelda; the fat penguin always found the Muppet's gibberish speaking ways hilarious.
"Uh, not familiar, what province is he from?" Snake scratched his head, somehow not that familiar with the Swedish Chef. Uncultured swine, he was.
"He lives on Sesame Street, you dummy." Snake felt insulted, glaring down at King Dedede and wanting to throw hands with him. Regardless of whether it was part of the game or not.
"You know, I think I'm supposed to say something to Zelda, I mean, Deb, okay?" Rosalina spoke up, before getting herself in character as she faced Zelda. "I overheard you asking the butler where the pistol was kept."
"Wait a minute, wait a minute - I'm the butler," Slippy said to Rosalina, interjecting himself into the conversation. "You were listening in on that? You rich people. You think you can do whatever you want to the servant class!"
"No, no, no, don't turn-a this into a political thing," Mario advised Slippy, speaking in his normal voice to set things straight in the meeting room.
"I will poison your food..." Slippy vowed to Rosalina, mean-mugging the mother of Lumas as he pointed menacingly at her.
"I reckon I got something to say to Miss Beatrix Bourbon, if'n she don't mind," said Sora as he had his attention focused on Rosalina. His Southern accent was still a work in progress, and it was increasingly hard for Kairi to not burst out laughing.
"Oooooo, doggie, we got a party now!" exclaimed Mario, more than enthralled with how the game was head as he clapped his hands in excitement.
Mario: I do believe-a that the game is a big hit. People are really diving into their characters.
King Dedede: Y'all. *giggles*
"Sorry I'm late, heard there was a meeting going on," apologized Akuma as he entered the meeting room, hoping that he hadn't missed too much. "What's going on?"
"Sir, there has been a murder, and you are a suspect," Mario informed Akuma, speaking in a Southern accent, as Akuma's eyes went wide with worry.
"Okay. Hang on just a second. Let me just settle in and I'll be right back." Akuma rushed out of the meeting room, running off to who-knows-where.
"Very good, very good. Now, no one was there in the wine cellar..."
Luigi was outside with Daisy, doing some yard work when the plumber saw Akuma run out of the mansion. Akuma ran to Luigi's green Dodge Charger, parked in the driveway, and punched a hole through the car window.'
"Akuma, what are you doing?" Luigi asked the fighter out of concern, as he and Daisy watched Akuma open the car door and jump inside the Charger before turning it on.
"If anyone asks...it wasn't me!" Akuma shouted to Luigi and Daisy, before slamming the car door and driving the Charger down the road. Luigi and Daisy were both befuddled by what had just transpired.
"Did you seriously leave your car keys in the car again?" Daisy asked Luigi, who eyed around suspiciously as a nervous smile grew on his face.
"Hey there young lady," Sora greeted Kairi while in-character, as Kairi held her hand over her mouth in the event she started to laugh. "I would be remiss if I did not ask the pretty young lady out on a date for this weekend."
"Sounds like a plan, Sugar," replied Kairi, with a Southern accent that was better than Sora's. Like she was a Southern Belle, born and raised in the South. Talk about being a natural.
"Alright, a plan it is." Sora did it, he asked Kairi out on a date - or did he ask out Nellie Nutmeg instead?
Lloyd was in his room, disgruntled and lying on his bed as he bounced a ball against his bedroom wall. Keeping him company was Pit, who was only around for "moral support". Whatever that was supposed to entail.
"Cheer up, Lloyd - Cloud said that he was going to find out what happened with our money!" Pit did his best to encourage Lloyd, who was frowning away. "We'll find the answer soon enough."
"Do you really believe that?" asked a very skeptical Lloyd, as he tossed the ball up in the air and watched as it hit the ceiling. "A week's gone by, and no new development. Sounds suspicious, if you ask me."
"Just the two that we needed to see," Yusuke said to Pit and Lloyd as he and Joker entered Lloyd's room. Pit perked up, with Lloyd immediately sitting up on his bed. "We just have a question about your...delivery service."
"Alright then, ask away," Pit said to Joker and Yusuke, as he and Lloyd were both all ears. "Need us to make an in-house delivery?"
"No, nothing like that - we just wanted to inquire about the money you two raised," replied Joker, as he stood at the foot of Lloyd's bed. "We spoke with Anna, and she said that Dingodile helped you guys reach your monetary goal. Is that correct?"
"Yup! Anna sweet-talked Dingodile into surrending the money that he got from selling his junk food. It was thanks to her that we reached $10,000."
"Anna sweet-talked Dingodile? That's, um...interesting." Joker couldn't imagine how that scenario played, out in his head. "Do you think that Dingodile is busy around this time?"
"Probably not, but he's always open for conversation," replied Lloyd, wondering what business Joker and Yusuke had with the mutant dingo. "Just don't eat any of his food...heard that his steak fries were suspect."
"Voodoo Mama Juju, explain your dalliance with the Dark Arts," Slippy said to Palutena, who was dressed up as a voodoo witch. Took Palutena a while to get used to her New Orleans voodoo garb.
"It's not my fault, I was exposed to Harry Potter," replied Palutena - not that surprising of an answer, given the supposed amount of witchcraft that the Harry Potter series was accused of having in the past.
"I know you did it!" Slippy pointed accusingly at Palutena, knowing for a fact that she was the one who murdered Bill Bourbon.
Slippy: I know she didn't do it. It's never the person you most suspect. It's also never the person you least suspect since anyone with half a brain would suspect them the most. Therefore I know the killer to be Rosalina, a.k.a. Beatrix Bourbon, the person I most medium suspect.
"Do you want to go out on a date with me?" King Dedede asked Kairi while in-character, knowing that he would have an extremely minuscule chance of asking Kairi out any other time. "We can make out by the horses."
"Well, you know ol' Nellie's always up for a romp in the hay," smiled Kairi, slightly intimidated and creeped out by King Dedede approaching her but decided to let it all slide...for now.
"How about a threesome?" asked Kohaku as she joined in on the conversation; Hisui felt disgusted at first, but then reminded himself that Kohaku's interaction was part of the game.
"Yeah, my boudoir's always open." As Kairi chatted it up with King Dedede and Kohaku, Sora was looking on and growing nervous about his date proposal to Kairi. Especially after seeing how deeply in-character Kairi was.
Sora: I'm a little worried I might have asked out Naughty Nellie and not Kairi. Which would be a whole lot less appealing, because Naughty Nellie says yes to everyone. And she might be a murderer.
"I just got a text message from Ayaha Oribe, specifically about the money that Pit and Lloyd raised," notified Tom Nook after he received an email notification on his cellphone. Had to take his phone from Mario when the plumber wasn't looking.
"What does it say?" Rosalina asked Tom Nook, with the game momentarily being paused as everyone looked at Tom Nook.
"Well, nothing really but most of it is just Master Hand giving his take on the issue that has befallen..."
"Woah - what's this strange Yankee accent coming out of your mouth, son?" Mario questioned Tom Nook while speaking in his Southern accent. "This here's Savannah." Sucking up all his pride, Tom Nook inhaled deeply...
"Lloyd's plantation, it's low on greenbacks." Tom Nook was now speaking in a high-pitched Southern accent, with every person in the meeting room hanging on to the tanuki's every word. "Lloyd and Pit are having problems with the greenbacks they got from the people who gave them the seeds and the dirt. They can't..." Soon Tom Nook gave up, going back to his regular speaking voice. "...Mario, I can't - basically it could mean a lot of things, but it is unprecedented if Master Hand's chiming in, so it's cause for concern."
"Okay, I'm heading out," said Link, having reached his breaking point as he left the meeting room. The Hylian lasted a lot longer than he expected.
"No no no no no!" Mario yelled at Link, who was already out of the meeting room. Mario sighed, as he went back to his Southern accent. "I'm going to skip forward to a relevant clue. Here we go."
Learning from Isabelle that Master Hand was speaking with Master Kohga, Cloud was on his way to the Yiga clan hideout to speak with the giant hand. On his way there, he spotted Ayaha...speaking with a man wearing a bunny costume.
"Wait, so I don't need this costume?" the man in the bunny costume asked Ayaha, who shook her head no. Cloud was standing from the distance, confused. "So what was the point of me wearing it, then?"
"To 'entertain' the young ones, Master Hand said," replied Ayaha, having some major sympathy for whoever was inside of that costume. "Good for you that Master Hand changed his mind. I am so sorry that you have to go through this..."
"...are you lost, buddy?" Cloud asked the man in the bunny costume, grabbing his attention. "Or is Miss Oriibe putting you out of your misery?"
"No...it's just me," said the man in the bunny costume as he took off his bunny hat...revealing himself to be Wayne. Master Hand's favorite basketball player in the whole wide world. "You probably know why I'm here."
Wayne: I've been pretty bang up for the past few months. And Easter just so happens to be around the corner. So...yeah, Master Hand did what he had to do. *sighs* I hate injuries...
"Master Hand, huh?" Cloud asked Wayne, who lowered his head solemnly and nodded. "He just can't seem to leave you alone, can he?"
"You're not here to speak with Master Hand, are you?" Ayaha asked Cloud, who came to the Yiga Clan hideout for that very reason. "He's still discussing his Easter plans with Master Kohga. He won't be pausing his meeting anytime soon."
"That sucks - I had something that I wanted to share with him. Mostly has to do with that delivery service of Lloyd's..."
"Oh, did you see that Wall Street Journal article posted about Lloyd's business?" Ayaha held up her phone, pointing at her screen. Cloud grew slightly more worried than before. "Showed it to Master Hand. I managed to get his two cents on it."
"I was there - he sounded pretty intrigued," added Wayne, before noticing that Cloud was acting strangely concerned. "Why are you looking like that, bro?"
"Nothing...just didn't expect Master Hand to see the article so soon," replied Cloud, although Ayaha could tell that something was off with Cloud. Especially now after Cloud was walking away. "I'll see you guys later."
"Huh...that was weird." Once Cloud was gone from the hideout, Wayne looked down. "This bunny costume has a zipper, right? Does this place have a bathroom?"
"Well by now you've figured out that ol' Beatrix Bourbon was the killer," said R.O.B., meaning that Rosalina was the killer all along. Slippy, who had a sneaky suspicion that Rosalina was the culprit, pumped his fist in secret.
"Mario, I was doing so well," Rosalina said to Mario, having done her hardest to deflect any amount of suspicion.
"Are you going to believe that?" Mario asked Rosalina, speaking in his Southern accent. "That is a mis...that's a misdirection. We still don't know who the murderer is." With the game officially over, everyone started leaving the meeting room. "Nellie Nutmeg, come back in here. I can't do this myself. Voodoo Mama Juju...what am I gonna do?"
Cloud tried to speak with Master Hand, but the giant hand was still having his meeting. So once he returned from the Yiga Clan hideout, Cloud went to the gaming room to give everyone a bit of an update.
"So Master Hand is still at his meeting," Cloud informed the residents in the gaming room. "Ayaha said that he was very busy."
"That could be a good sign," remarked King Dedede, under the assumption that Master Hand was getting down to the bottom of things.
"Hey everyone, King Dedede's going to give us his take on the situation," Viridi said to the others, speaking in a slightly sarcastic tone. "Let's listen up."
"Alright guys, it's a Friday and you guys have fun here, so let's loosen up a bit," Cloud encouraged the residents, wanting to keep them as distracted as possible from finding out the truth.
"Now, Cloud telling us all to have fun?" asked King Dedede, knowing how rare it was for Cloud to entice anyone to have fun. Given that he barely had an ounce of fun in his body. "I think that is a very good sign."
"Don't just say things," Viridi frowned at King Dedede, as Mario walked inside the gaming room. Mario was the first person that Cloud wished to see.
"Oh, hey Mario - I got some plans for Easter Sunday," Cloud said to the plumber, doing as much deflection as possible. "Do you want to..."
"I do believe you have me mistaken, my name is Caleb Crawdad," responded Mario, who was practically stuck in his Caleb Crawdad character. "Y'all skedaddled way too soon. We need to reopen this case."
"No, you're not reopening the case. Snake said that the case is closed."
"No it ain't." Mario was standing his ground...and Cloud had to get the plumber out of his phase.
Slippy: Frankly, I'm not surprised. A lot of the evidence seemed to be based on puns.
Believing that he might've failed the first time around, Sora decided to ask out Kairi a second time - but this time actually asking Kairi out, instead of asking out the character that she was playing. Sora would find his lady friend chilling inside the living room.
"Just thinking about Weekend at Bernie's," Sora said to Kairi, enticing her with a movie. Easiest way to get someone to go on a date with you. "It's funny, the guy's dead the whole time. Or so I've been told."
"I haven't seen it," responded Kairi, and that was the kind of answer that Sora wanted. Meant that Sora was in the driver's seat.
"Speaking of weekends, are you interested in going on a date this weekend?"
"Of course, Nathaniel." And just like that, Kairi went back to her Southern accent.
"Yeah, okay." Sora nodded his head, hoping that Kairi accepted his invite.
"Where are you taking me?"
"Well, finest steakhouse in all Savannah." Sora was now speaking in his Southern accent, doing his best to play along.
"Savannah? That's a far way from Seattle."
"Did you mean a real date?"
"No." Kairi laughed, as her Southern accent quickly vanished away. "Did you?"
"Totally...not." On that note, Kairi got up from the couch and walked away, as a defeated Sora looked on.
Kairi: I thought it was for real. So I was excited, but it was just, it was part of the game.
Mario desperately wanted to keep on playing Belles, Bourbon and Bullets, but he had no one in the mansion to play it with...that is, until he returned to the meeting room and saw Slippy Toad hanging around. Turned out that Slippy wanted to keep on playing just as much.
"You're sure it was water, it couldn't have been acid?" Slippy asked Mario, as he and the plumber were staring each other down.
"I already declared you, it was too dark to tell," replied Mario, as R.O.B. was standing around keeping the peace.
"Stop playing games with me, Crawdad."
"This is not a game, this is my life. You are out of order, sir."
"Answer me. ANSWER ME!"
"You are out of order."
"You are out of order."
Zelda: I think Mario may have snapped.
Link: Or maybe he's just stuck in character.
Zelda: Well, which is worse? Snapped or stuck?
Link: Both. They're both worse.
With Cloud, Sonic, and Tails away, Moira was left in the sanctuary with Fox and Falco. The geneticist was teaching the pilots how to extract DNA, just to pass the time.
"Fox, you can add the alcohol into the solution much faster than that..." Moira said to the pilot, who was dropping drops of alcohol into a test tube at a horrifically slow pace. Soon Sonic showed up, much to Moira's delight. "...ah, there's my errand boy."
"Moira, we need to talk," Sonic said to the geneticist, who raised her eyebrows as she waited to hear what Sonic had to say. "I don't think I want to be a part of this project anymore."
"What's the matter, hedgehog? Tired of running errands for me?" Sonic knew that Moira was going to ask that question, from a mile away.
"No, it's just that...I don't wanna associate myself with anything that involves Dr. Eggman. Because, uh, you know...villain protocol. Unless it's kart racing or Olympic sports, which is fine."
"I suppose that's an understandable reason for leaving the project. Sure there is anything else?" Moira felt that Sonic was hiding something, that he was telling the partial truth.
"Nope! That's it. Just didn't want to deal with Eggman. I mean, picking him up from prison was hard enough for me, on its own."
"Before you go...where is young Mr. Prower?" Moira couldn't help but ask about Tails, her favorite pupil. "He's been absent for as long as you have."
"He, uh...had a very migraine. Had to escort him out of the sanctuary. He'll return to this sanctuary when he gets better."
"I'll take your word for it...if you're in fact lying to me, Sonic, the consequence will be quite dire..."
Playing Belles, Bourbon and Bullets with Slippy didn't turn out the way that Mario had hoped, so the plumber went around the mansion looking for a willing participant. Soon he found Cloud and Zelda in the foyer.
"Deb, what in the world - do you have the vapors?" Mario asked Zelda in his Southern accent, getting all confrontational.
"Mario, not now," Cloud said to the plumber; he was trying to have a conversation with Zelda, and Mario was just ruining things.
"Can't wait, we have to get you to our witch doctor right now. Come on. Come on."
"I should just go," Zelda said to Cloud, having no choice but to satisfy Mario as she went back into character. "Where to now Caleb?
"To Mama Juju Boo Boo." So Zelda followed after Mario, as Cloud sighed and walked away.
Sonic very discreetly returned to Ema's room, looking around before knocking on the door. Ema opened the door, as she and Crash poked their heads out through the doorway.
"So what did she say, did she fall for it?" Ema asked Sonic, whose big smile on his face told the forensics expert all that she needed to know.
"She looked pretty skeptical, but she still bought it," replied Sonic, as he gave his main man Crash a fist bump. Soon his other main man poked his head through the door...Tails.
"All that work I did under Moira's wing is surely gonna pay off," remarked Tails, who - believe it or not - wasn't suffering from a nasty migraine. "Hope she isn't too angry about me leaving her..."
Tails: Cloud's plan is nice and all, but Ema's plan is even nicer. And less dangerous. Especially after Cloud started entertaining the idea of time travel. He's going a little too extreme...
Sonic: Say goodbye to errand boy Sonic. And say hello to... *pauses* not errand boy Sonic! I'm gonna ask Tails to come up with a new nickname.
"Mario, can I..." Cloud encountered the plumber in the hallway, before seeing him, Zelda, and Hisui gathered around Kohaku who was lying on the floor. "...I'm just going to skip right past the what and go with why."
"Because this is the recreation of a crime scene," replied Mario, as he pointed at Kohaku lying on the floor. Kohaku was doing her best to play dead.
"I'm the dead body and these are my brain chunks," Kohaku explained to Cloud, bringing the swordsman's attention to the "brain chunks" on the floor. Which were actually several pieces of cereal.
"Hey, be quiet, you're supposed to be dead," Hisui said to Kohaku, who immediately closed her eyes and played dead. Hisui shook his head.
"Mario can I talk to you for a minute?" Cloud asked the plumber, who felt triggered for he was called by the wrong name.
"No Mario here, my name is..." Mario spoke up, and Cloud was more than ready to shut him down.
"Caleb! Can I please speak with you?" Cloud almost pulled a vein yelling at Mario like that. Mario would speak with Cloud further down the hallway and saw the swordsman facepalm, disgusted by the plumber's behavior. "Today of all days…"
"No, you shut up," retorted Mario, who was sick and tired of Cloud's frustration. "They need-a this game, Cloud. Let us have this stupid-a little game, alright?" Slowly taking his hand away from his face, Cloud nodded his head.
Thanks to a ride from Captain Falcon, Joker and Yusuke arrived at Dingo's Diner. Inside they saw the manager, Dingodile, speaking with a Tasmanian tiger wearing red pants.
"So just to be clear, I'm forbidden to upsell anyone," the Tasmanian tiger said to Dingodile, as he was holding two wooden boomerangs in his hands. "Or use these boomerangs to reason with the customers."
"Both of those things will only lead to trouble - and a potential lawsuit," answered Dingodile, before he looked over and saw Joker and Yusuke standing in his presence. "Crikey, look who it is - my two favorite customers!"
"This is only our first time at this diner..." stated Joker, very much unamused by Dingodile's attempt at flattery. "...and before you assume anything, we aren't here to dine."
"Then you must be here to meet my new assistant manager!" Dingodile brought Joker and Yusuke's attention to the Tasmanian tiger standing next to him. "Why don't you say hello to Ty the Tasmanian Tiger? Make him feel at home."
"G'day mates!" Ty greeted Joker and Yusuke, speaking in his native Australian accent. Joker and Yusuke both did a simple wave. "I can definitely tell that you two aren't a few sandwiches short of a picnic."
Yusuke: Australian people always speak like they're from a different planet...it's no wonder why they call Australia the land down under.
"...anyway, we just wanted to inquire about your money," Joker said to Dingodile before he and Yusuke leaned in closer to the mutant. "The money that Anna took away from you..."
"Yeah, that perky merchant girl robbed me well..." affirmed Dingodile as he shook his head in dismay. "...but I guess that I had it coming for me. My food wasn't in the best condition, at first."
"You are aware that Anna gave some of your funds to Pit and Lloyd Irving, right?" Yusuke asked Dingodile, who nodded his head and wondered what Pit and Lloyd had to do with anything. "I regret to inform you this, but...the money that you gave up was replaced!"
"Blimey! What crook stole my money?" Joker would have the answer, as he pulled out his phone and showed Dingodile a photo of Cloud and Professor E. Gadd on the background patio.
"That seems pretty scandalous to me," remarked Ty as he observed the photo, seeing Cloud handing off the money to E. Gadd. "What do you mates plan on doing about it?"
"We're running our own little private investigation," replied Joker as he put his phone back in his pocket. Dingodile had seen enough. "We just wanted to run by your diner, Dingodile, show you how your money was used."
"We'll have you know that not even Pit or Lloyd are aware of this," added Yusuke, as Dingodile raised his eyebrows with much intrigue. "They were mostly played like fiddles..."
"Ooh...that only makes things a little spicier," Dingodile smiled his sharp teeth showing as he rubbed his hands together. "Alright then, Ty and I will be your 'informants' if you need us to..."
After speaking with Cloud, Mario returned to the gaming room, looking for those who wanted to play Belles, Bourbon and Bullets. He wanted to start round two at the earliest convenience.
"Oh, you startled me!" Mario said to Isabelle in his Southern accent, clutching his pearls in the gaming room. "My stars, my heart nearly leapt out of my chest. What can I do you for?"
"Mario, Master Hand is on the phone," Isabelle informed Mario, before handing the plumber his phone. Mario purposely kept his phone away to avoid any major distractions. "He's returning your call."
"Detective Master Hand?" Mario immediately perked up, raising his eyebrows.
"I don't think so. It's just regular Master Hand. You know, the usual."
"Aw, shucks, tell him I'm not here."
"You're not gonna answer the phone?" Tom Nook asked Mario, amazed that the plumber would turn down a phone call from Master Hand.
"No, I only answer to Detective Master Hand 'cause I got a warm body in the other room."
"I'll take it," Cloud said to Isabelle, taking Mario's phone as he walked out of the gaming room. "Hey Master Hand," Cloud spoke into Mario's phone, walking down the hallway.
"Hey, sorry to be getting back to you so late," Master Hand apologized to Cloud, wishing that he had the chance to speak sooner. "It took Miss Oribe forever to give up her phone. But anyway, I was made aware of the whole Wall Street Journal thing, and it's not good. I talked it out with Pit and Lloyd, on Ayaha's phone and it sounds like Lloyd wants to discontinue his food business. Doesn't expect things to change anytime soon. So, well...you know what? I'm sorry, I have to run. But we will talk soon, okay."
"Sure. Oh, you know, while I have you..."
"You know what? I can't really talk any longer, I gotta run. See ya."
"No, Master Hand, wait..." And with that, Master Hand hung up on Cloud. (Or rather, it was Ayaha who hung up, since Master Hand couldn't operate any cellular device.) Cloud sighed, rubbing his hand through his spiky hair.
"Not that easy being a bad guy, huh?" someone with a deep voice said to Cloud, who ceased his moment of distress. Cloud saw Reaper chilling nearby, his arms folded as he leaned back against the wall.
"Reaper? Why are you here?" Cloud asked the mercenary, before looking around to see if anyone was around. "You came along with Moira?"
"Yeah, I'm always someone's stupid plus one - first Sombra, now Moira. Won't be long until Widowmaker keeps the trend going..."
"I'm sorry to hear that." Too bad that Reaper didn't believe in accepting sympathy. "You don't...really think that I'm a bad guy, do you?"
"I just call it as I see it." Reaper unfolded his arms as he pulled away from the wall, before approaching Cloud. "I've been keeping a close eye on you, Cloud...you've been doing some pretty suspect things."
"And why do you care so much? What I'm doing has nothing to do with..." Cloud would stop speaking when Reaper placed his hand on his shoulder.
"So stealing money from a kid trying to redeem himself isn't suspect?" Reaper was putting the pressure on Cloud, who gulped nervously. "What about building a time machine in the basement?"
"The time machine doesn't sound that bad - as long as everything goes well. Although with Fox and Falco..."
"But what if everything doesn't go well? Ever thought of that?" Cloud had nothing to say about that. "Can't afford to let anyone get lost in time...or worse."
"Again, why do you care? It's not like you have any involvement with my project. Unless you're just spitballing for the fun of it."
"Let's just say that your project is a success, and Aerith comes back to life...what if she doesn't like you? That's why you want her alive again, so you can start something romantic with her? What if she turns you down? Wouldn't be a success anymore, wouldn't it?"
"Now that you mention it...no it wouldn't." Love him or hate him, Reaper was making some rather fantastic points.
Reaper: I hardly respect what Cloud is doing. You can't just revive 'em and live happily ever after. Just gotta move on. Easier for me, I suppose, but it might be hard for others...
"All I'm saying is, don't give too much effort, because it would be all for naught if you don't get what you want," Reaper offered this piece of advice to Cloud. "One more thing before I go..."
"Bro who are you calling a string bean?!" someone shouted from down the hallway, grabbing Cloud and Reaper's attention. Cloud and Reaper ran to the scene, and saw Wayne, bunny costume in hand, as he was confronted by Zeke. And Pandoria.
"You heard what I said!" Zeke said to Wayne, refusing to repeat himself as Wayne dropped the bunny costume looking for a fight. "Now, tell me where spiky hair is, or face the might of my..."
"Is this really happening?" sighed Cloud, as Zeke looked over and saw the swordsman standing with Reaper. "You are such a doofus..."
"A doofus I am not!" Zeke was so ticked off that he stomped his feet in a mini temper tantrum, with Pandoria copying him. "You are to call me Zeke! Or the Zekenator! Or the Crown Prince of..."
"'Zekenator'? What grown man refers to himself as the 'Zekenator'?" questioned Reaper, as he and Wayne were both judging Zeke.
"My thoughts exactly," replied Cloud, not caring enough to fetch his Buster Sword. His room was too far away anyway. "Don't make me throw you guys out of the mansion..."
"No...let me handle 'em." Reaper stepped forward, as he donned his shotguns and eyed Zeke and Pandoria down. Zeke was barely intimidated.
"HA! You expect those guns to scare me?" Zeke scoffed at Reaper, unaware of how deadly serious the mercenary was. "Why, I'd rather see you..." Suddenly Reaper shot at Zeke, who shrieked as he and Pandoria jumped out of harm's way.
"I'm sorry, I missed that one...on purpose." It amused Reaper seeing how scared Zeke and Pandoria were now. "Next shot, however, you won't be so lucky..."
"Erm, we should be on our way now!" Zeke and Pandoria hightailed down the hallway after Reaper scared the living daylights out of them. "Hope to deal with you another time, spiky hair!" Zeke called out to Cloud.
"Whatever," responded Cloud, as Reaper placed his shotguns back in their holsters. "Thanks for doing the dirty work for me, Reaper."
"You know where this bunny costume goes?" Wayne approached Cloud, holding the bunny costume in his hand that he wanted to get rid of. "Wanna go back home before I run into any more weirdos..."
"Just toss it in a hallway closet," instructed Cloud, as Wayne nodded his head and went to go look for the nearest hallway closet.
"As I was saying..." Reaper said to Cloud, putting his hand on the swordsman's shoulder one more time. "...never make a huge mistake that you can't run away from."
"I'll make sure to remember that..." Expecting Cloud to heed his advice, Reaper patted the swordsman on his shoulder before disappearing away.
Wayne: Some good news - Master Hand, being the fickle being that he is, doesn't want me to wear this stupid bunny costume for Easter. I'm just happy that he didn't invite me over for St. Patrick's Day... *pauses* ...he's gonna invite me over next year, isn't he?
"What's the news?" Zelda asked Cloud, who returned to the gaming room after speaking with Reaper.
"Nothing yet, no news," Cloud informed the others, keeping the details of his phone call with Master Hand as secretive as possible.
"Well, I guess that's not..."
"Well, there is some bad news...there has been another murder." Out of nowhere, Cloud started speaking with a Southern accent. It was phoned in all the way, but it still worked.
"A murder, you say? I do declare!" exclaimed Mario with his Southern twang, happy to see that Cloud eventually came around.
"Meeting room, everyone." Cloud was now taking charge of the game, and it was a sight to behold.
"Do we all have to play?" Ganondorf asked Cloud, refusing to leave the gaming room; Cloud shook his head in response. "Super."
"Oh, this could be a juicy one!" exclaimed Slippy, rubbing his hands together as he and several others followed Cloud out of the gaming room.
Cloud: I think today was a good day to have two heads of authority. Beause if you're a family stuck on a lifeboat in the middle of the ocean, one parent might want to just keep rowing. But if the other parent wants to play a game, it's not because they're crazy. It's because they're doing it for the kids. And I get that now.
Mario: There has been a lot of murder and a lot of intrigue. My little heart can barely take it no more. *reverts to regular voice* Today is the hardest-a I've ever had fun in a long, long time.
All done with her work in the sanctuary, Moira went up to the cafe to grab a doughnut before she headed off. There she was met by her plus one, Reaper.
"Well, how did it go?" Reaper asked Moira, only asking this question out of bitter curiosity. He knew that Moira wouldn't tolerate the silent treatment.
"Sonic chose to depart from the project," Moira said to Reaper, before taking a bite from her glazed doughnut. "And Tails left on early notice since he was suffering from a migraine. Corrin is still a lost cause."
"So you had to put up with Fox and Falco, eh? Hope they didn't make you lose your sanity. I'll be waiting outside the cafe, so let me know when you're ready."
Reaper left the cafe and laid against the wall, hoping that no one would notice him as they passed by. Two individuals were coming down the hallway - one of them being Joker, the other being Makoto.
"Learned a lot about Cloud's plan from Fox and Falco today," Makoto said to Joker, as Reaper started eavesdropping on the brunette. "Gave me a lot more info than I expected!"
"Bet you they didn't even know what you were speaking with them," responded Joker, as Makoto let out a slight giggle. "I spoke with Dingodile today, told him what happened to his money. Apparently, he has an assistant manager now."
"An assistant manager? What for? The public health department must've really had him shook."
"Must be. But either way, Dingodile could be a big help down the road. Can't let Cloud getting his hands too dirty."
"I'm happy with how that fake Wall Street Journal article turned out. Futaba and Fuuka really poured their hearts into it. And that paid subscription bit? That was just for authenticity."
"Heh, and I'm surprised that B.D. Joe has almost everyone's email...must be an honorary mansion resident."
"Really counting on you guys..." Reaper said quietly about Joker and Makoto, watching as the couple walked away, as Moira step out of the cafe seconds later. "...ready to head back, Moira?"
Round two of Belles, Bourbon and Bullets was on, and there was a fake Mexican standoff between three individuals - Mario, Slippy, and Sora. All three men were pointing imaginary guns at each other.
"I didn't do it!" shouted Sora, stating his innocence to Mario and Slippy in the most guilty way possible.
"Everybody just calm down," encouraged Slippy, trying to be the voice of reason. Imagine him being the voice of reason for anything.
"I am calm." The small droplets of sweat running down your face say otherwise, Sora.
"On the count of three, we're all going to put down our guns," Mario said to Slippy and Sora, having his imaginary guns pointed at the two culprits.
"I have crossbows," stated Slippy, wanting to don imaginary crossbows despite not knowing how to do it.
"We'll put down our weaponry on the count of three, you ready? One, two, three..."
After three, Mario, Sora, and Slippy started screaming and shooting imaginary bullets at each other. They were pretending to shoot each other to death.
Link: Sora revealed himself to be a double agent. At which point Slippy felt comfortable revealing that he also was a double agent. And then Mario announced to everybody that - get this - he was a double agent. Oh, and it's time for dinner.
"Really?" said Link when he entered the meeting room, seeing Mario, Slippy, Sora, and now Zelda in a circle training their imaginary weapons on each other.
"It wasn't me - I'm not goin' down for this!" Zelda shouted at the three double agents in her Southern accent, a little too into her character.
"Yeah, Cilan is serving steak for dinner tonight. Ribeye steak, well done - your favorite." With an enticing meal like that, Zelda couldn't help but budge.
"Go and reserve a spot at the dining table for me..." Zelda and Link slowly back out of the meeting room, with Zelda having her weapon trained on everyone, and then she and Link run out.
Did Beatrix Bourbon kill her husband? Was it a double agent who committed the crime instead? Those were questions best left unanswered for another day...