Author's Note:
Yet another Saturday afternoon update! Guess that's what happens when you take a day off from writing on your birthday. This chapter is based around Mario Golf: Super Rush, as well as Alex Kidd in Miracle World DX. Thankfully I'm not late enough to answer some reviews...
"1) Haven't checked on this in a while, but it's good to see you're still writing this. I thought this was a great time passer to read when I wasn't busy, but now I've just hit a point in my life where things have gotten a little tough. But anyways, I was wondering if I could see some characters from a few anime shows. I know it sounds random, but I feel it'd also be cool to see those characters tossed around in this story. I do remember making a request about mentioning a series called Toradora (Highly recommend if I didn't do it last time), and I'd like to see the two main characters Ryuji and Taiga in there probably. I don't know if you already mentioned it in previous chapters, I haven't been catching up with the story, but hopefully you would add those two in it.
Very sorry to hear that. Hope things get better for you. If Ryuji and Taiga were to appear in this story, then I would have to find some loophole that would allow them to appear...something akin to the events of chapter 67. We'll see. Next is Derick Lindsey:
"...also did not expect Luigi being the one behind it all by giving Cloud the idea of starting the Aerith Revival Project so would he be sent the psych ward now or are we just going to brush that underneath the rug?"
We'll...we'll sweep that one under the rug. On to David:
"What are the Turks planning with Cloud? Since Kazuya will be a Smash Mansion resident, can Jun Kazama show up and keep him in check? (Harada never confirmed her death). Will Sora, Kairi, and Riku interact with the World Ends With You sequel characters when the chapter comes out? An Idea Factory or Compile Heart themed chapter in the future? (Since their games have been getting Switch ports lately). And finally, what did you think about the upcoming Advance Wars remake?"
That's a secret, for now. Jun Kazama will show up one day. Sora and friends will interact with TWEWY sequel characters. Don't know about an Idea Factory or Compile Heart-themed chapter. And I really dig the Advance Wars remake. Great to see a GBA classic getting some prominence again. BowserFan327 has some chapter ideas:
"Also will you do chapters for these games? [Danganronpa Decadence and WarioWare Get It Together]?"
Yes and yes! At long last, we'll finally see some Danganronpa action in Smash Life. Hope they give out the release date for the Danganronpa games soon. Last up...Random Question. Ooh...
"Elora or Cynder?"
The faun, or the dragon...I'm gonna go with Eleora. I like her a bit more.
Episode 288: GolfWars
Kazuya Mishima was a man of many things. He was a hero, turned villain. He was a mass murderer who killed countless people. He was the CEO of a biotech firm that ran experiments on him, the G Corporation. Oh, and he was also somewhat of a sneakerhead in the past, as he collected sneakers in his downtime.
Now, Kazuya could add a new title under his best...a Smash fighter. Some of the residents were pretty stocked about Kazuya joining the mansion, but there was one person that disapproved of the addition of Kazuya...and that was Kazuya's father, Heihachi. For a moment, in episode 278, it seemed as if Heihachi and Kazuya would finally be on the same page when they kicked Fox's butt and were going to take on Sephiroth...but that was only short-lived.
To get things prepared for the formal introduction of Kazuya, Link and Zelda had to make sure that everyone was able to be at the lecture hall. Because in the mighty words of Master Hand, "participation matters". Heihachi, who wanted absolutely nothing to do with the introduction, took it upon himself to hide outside the mansion so nobody would bother him. Zelda sent out Researcher Zelda to look for Heihachi, and Researcher Zelda asked Robin and Shulk to aid her in her search for the Japanese fighter.
"Researcher Zelda, I found him!" Shulk called out to the princess after he saw Heihachi's head through a window in the treehouse outside. Researcher Zelda and Robin joined Shulk at the base of the tree where the treehouse was located.
"Heihachi, come on out!" Researcher Zelda called out to the Japanese fighter, who frowned as he poked his head out of the treehouse window. "You can't hide in that treehouse forever!"
"No thank you," Heihachi responded with much defiance as he pulled his head back inside. If Researcher Zelda and company wanted Heihachi out of the treehouse, they would literally have to drag him out.
"Come on, man, this is just ridiculous," Shulk said to Heihachi, not at all surprised by the behavior that he was seeing. He had already witnessed Cloud trying to hide from Sephiroth back in September. "Why do you hate your son?"
"Whoever said that I hated my son? I just...dislike him with a burning passion. I am merely keeping my distance, for my own personal reasons."
"That isn't keeping your distance, that's called being a terrible father. What kind of example are you setting for your grandson?"
"I don't need to set an 'example' for Jin; he's a grown man now. He can learn from himself." The defiance from Heihachi was starting to irritate Shulk - which meant that it was time for Robin to step in.
"You can run away from your problems - but you could never run from your own kids," the mage offered these wise words to Heihachi - he would know since he used to hide from Morgan and Marc in the past.
"You...you have a point there." Taking Robin's words into mind, Heihachi stepped out of the treehouse as he was slowly coming around. "Kazuya will be living with me...nothing I can do to change that."
"Yeah, that's the spirit Heihachi!" smiled Shulk as he gave Heihachi a thumbs up. Heihachi came down the ladder that led to the treehouse, joining Researcher Zelda and the others at the bottom of the tree.
"Good to see you that finally came around," Researcher Zelda said to Heihachi, who was now forcing himself to stomach seeing Kazuya at the lecture hall. "The introduction for Kazuya starts in a few, so if you need to let out some last-minute pent-up frustration..."
"In a few, you say? That should be enough time. Give me a moment." So Heihachi walked away from Researcher Zelda and company, finding a spot where he could yell and scream in peace. Once Heihachi found that spot, he screamed angrily at the top of his lungs.
Min Min: That screaming...it sounds like someone's in pain. Sounds an awful lot like Heihachi - I can hear it all the way from the sixth floor! Has Heihachi's hatred of his son caused him to become constipated or something? That should teach him a lesson. I think.
Sonic and Crash exited the mansion, and as they walked to the road, they turned around and saw Heihachi screaming his heart out. To Crash, it looked like Heihachi was trying to go Super Saiyan. But Sonic, on the other hand, knew what was up.
"See, Crash, that is why hating peeps from your own family is stupid," Sonic said to the bandicoot, as a small red helicopter up in the sky made its way to the mansion premises. "Could you imagine Crunch tossing you and Coco into some volcano? Is there even an active volcano on N. Sanity Island?"
"Woah!" shouted Crash as he looked up at the sky, and pointed at the small red helicopter. Sonic and Crash watched as the helicopter descended before landing on the ground, as a short brown-haired fellow wearing a red jumpsuit exited the aircraft.
"Well, look who it is!" Sonic was all smiles, as the brunette walked over to the blue hedgehog and giddily bumped fists with him. "How's it going, Alex Kidd?"
"Hey, Sonic!" the brunette, Alex Kidd, greeted the blue blur; Alex Kidd and Sonic hadn't seen each other since Dr. Eggman's evil plot got foiled back in episode 99. "Just hanging in there, as always."
"Good to hear, good to hear! Hey, you remember Crash, don't you?" Sonic brought Alex Kidd's attention to Crash, who gave Alex Kidd a toothy grin. Also licked Alex Kidd in the face, to show him his full appreciation.
"I remember him...vaguely." Unfazed by Crash licking him, Alex Kidd wiped the bandicoot's saliva off his face. "Wasn't he in the Death Egg?"
"Yes, he was! And let me tell ya, this guy Crash is the life of the party! A great friend to have!" Sonic watched proudly as Crash did his patented Crash dance, which made Alex Kidd giggle.
"Have to admit, he's a really good dancer!" Crash, a really good dancer? Alex Kidd must not see much dancing back in Radaxian. What a shame. "So Sonic, are you gonna show me that Cafe Leblanc you've been telling me about?"
"Yeah, definitely! But Crash and I have to attend this event at the lecture hall first. Master Hand's gonna introduce the new guy in Smash. I don't think you'll be allowed to attend, so..."
"Ooh...are those arcade tokens?" Alex Kidd's eyes went wide as Sonic pulled out several tokens from his imaginary pocket, before handing them to Alex Kidd
"How about you play some games at our arcade until Crash and I pick you up? And don't even think about touching that Ms. Pac-Man game... got a high score that I'm trying to maintain!"
While Alex Kidd treated himself to some arcade games at the arcade room, Sonic and Crash joined the other residents at the lecture hall for Kazuya Mishima's big introduction. Link and Zelda stood together on the stage, watching as the lecture hall filled up.
"We found Heihachi hiding up in the treehouse," Researcher Zelda came unto the stage to inform Link and Zelda. "We also allowed him to release some of his anger so that today's introduction will go...smoothly."
"Good work, Researcher Zelda," Zelda commended her assistant, as Heihachi entered the lecture hall; the Japanese fighter was still feeling kind of ticked off. "Now we won't have to worry about Master Hand potentially burning down everything outside for..."
"Hey you two - someone apparently put a whoopie cushion in my seat," Cloud said to Link and Zelda as he appeared on stage; Link jumped back a bit when he saw Cloud walking towards him. "What should I do with this?"
"That must belong to Villager. Just hand it over, I'll deal with Villager later." So Cloud handed the whoopie cushion to Zelda, who planned on speaking with Villager later about his pranking. Before Cloud returned to his seat, he saw Link weirdly trying to keep his distance from him.
"Why are you acting like that?" Cloud asked Link, who strangely looked intimidated being on the same stage as Cloud. Link had been acting like this ever since Cloud rejoined the mansion. "Is there something on my face?"
"No, no, not at all!" Link sheepishly replied as he inched closer to Cloud, while still keeping his disposition. "Just thought that you were a ghost...or something. Like that." Not doing much to help your case there, Link.
"Well, stop acting like that, okay? That's not very typical 'man of the mansion' behavior." Cloud walked off the stage, as Link sighed in relief. Zelda furrowed her brow at her fiance.
Zelda: I might've forgiven Cloud for his whole project, but I don't think that Link fully has. I could tell just by his body language last week. Something was a little off. But whenever Link wants to truly let his feelings known to Cloud, he'll do it...I promise not to intervene as much.
"Heh heh...that whoopie cushion was in-a my seat, at first," Mario snickered at Cloud, who returned to his seat next to the plumber. Much to Mario's chagrin, Cloud barely had much of a reaction. "And you sat-a on it!"
"Bet you feel accomplished," remarked Cloud as he sat down, before looking up to his right and seeing Heihachi take a seat next to him. "Heihachi? Thought you usually sat in the back."
"Well, I'm switching things up just for today," said Heihachi, as he kept his eyes peeled for any signs of Kazuya. Mario and Cloud both looked at the Japanese fighter warily. "Since my son will be joining the mansion today."
"Better keep a close-a eye on him," Mario whispered to Cloud, who nodded his head as he still had his eyes fixated on Heihachi. It sure seemed like Heihachi had a plan up his sleeve...
Once the lecture hall had all the residents inside, it was time to begin. Link and Zelda remained on the stage, as Master Hand magically appeared above them.
"You ready for this?" Zelda whispered to Link, who was about to welcome a newcomer to Smash for the first time as the man of the mansion.
"As long as Kazuya doesn't toss me into a volcano, we should be fine," Link whispered back, fingers crossed that a random volcano wouldn't appear in the mansion's backyard.
"Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen!" Master Hand greeted everyone, as a few folks in the crowd responded to the giant hand. Perhaps a lot more than Master Hand expected. "Today we will be welcoming a new Smash fighter to our mansion...Kazuya Mishima!"
"But Kazooie is already in Smash, technically," stated Banjo, causing Kazooie to shake her head and facepalm at her bear companion. Took Banjo a few seconds to comprehend what Master Hand said. "Oh, wait...you were talking about Kazuya, right?"
"Yes, Banjo...I'm going to have to ask Kazuya to toss you into a volcano later, for your buffoonery." The thought of being thrown inside a volcano caused Banjo to gulp nervously. "Anyway, about Kazuya..."
"Wait, there aren't any active volcanos in the state of Washington," interjected Raven; Master Hand growled, for he greatly despised being interrupted. You'd think that the residents would've learned this lesson by now.
"Dang it, Raven! Now I'll have you tossed into a volcano as well, for interrupting me. Anyone else got something to say? Say it now, or you'll end up like Banjo and Raven stuck in some lava!"
"Can I be tossed into a volcano too, Master Hand?" requested Yoshi as he raised his hand, while those seated around the green dinosaur gave him concerned looks. Master Hand was almost left speechless. "Just wanna know what it feels like."
"...no, but that psych ward Cloud stayed at would happily take you in. Now, about Kazuya...not only is he a trained fighter, but he's also the CEO of a biotech firm. That said, I better not see any one of you hound Kazuya for money."
"Rats..." Wario muttered under his breath as he snapped his fingers in disgust. So much for using Kazuya as a tool to grow his net worth.
"Kazuya is also a sneakerhead, so if you want to discuss Air Jordans with him or something, then be my guest. But that's not important right now. Who's ready to see Kazuya Mishima?!"
"Bring him on out..." said Heihachi, frowning deeply as he cracked both his knuckles. Mario and Cloud both looked at the Japanese fighter, before quickly exchanging looks of concern.
"Absolutely no fanfare, but what the heck. I'll just assume that you all were cheering in your heads. Now everyone, give it up for the newest Smash fighter...Kazuya Mishima!"
Coming out from backstage was Kazuya, dressed in his black suit. The businessman was greeted by applause, which for a brief moment or two he believed was forced. He walked over to Link and Zelda, with the former offering his hand for a handshake.
"Welcome," Link gave this simple greeting to Kazuya, expecting the businessman to shake his hand. Kazuya looked at Link's hand before pulling his hand closer to the Hylian's...before pulling it away.
"Nice try," replied Kazuya, snubbing Link as he rubbed his hand through his hair. Kazuya smirked, as Link was left in shambles. Link just stood there, petrified from brutal humiliation.
"Hehehe...I like his style," commented Heihachi, as he couldn't help but have a giant smirk on his face. Mario and Cloud were both surprised by the remark Heihachi had made.
"Ooh, I like this guy already!" exclaimed Master Hand, as Link hated on the giant hand for not having his back. Zelda was the only individual onstage that sympathized with Link. "Anything you wish to say to the crowd, Kazuya?"
"Nothing in particular," replied Kazuya, adjusting his suit as he looked around at everyone gathered in the lecture hall. "Though I do think that there are a lot of unworthy peons present..."
"Why do I feel like he's talking to me...?" wondered Futaba, whispering under her breath as Kazuya's remark made her feel somewhat uneasy. Kazuya looked at the front row, and soon saw his father, Heihachi.
"Kazuya, you remember your father, don't you?" Master Hand asked the businessman as he came closer to him. Kazuya and Heihachi were staring each other down, though neither Mishima held any sort of grudge. Yet. "Now that you two are living together..."
"Can I throw my son into a volcano?" Heihachi asked Master Hand, as the tension that was absent at first found its way to the lecture hall. "Just for old times' family sake?"
"It should be you who should be thrown into a volcano," Kazuya clapped back at Heihachi, as he was about to hop down from the stage to confront Heihachi. Link jumped in front of Kazuya in the nick of time and pulled him away.
"You can throw each other into a volcano another time..." Link said to the Mishimas, trying to calm things down before some temper flared and brutal bad blood ensued. "...Master Hand, I think it's about time we end the introduction."
"Aw, but I wanted Kazuya to tell everyone about the G Corporation!" moaned Master Hand, as Link brought Kazuya backstage. Literally had to drag the man away. Kazuya tried to fight out of Link's grasp, but Link was holding his own.
Popo: So Master Hand lets Kazuya do his own product plug, but not me?! I don't care if Kazuya owns some crappy biotech company - everyone and their mother knows that the ice cream business is a far more superior industry. Master Hand might not see it yet, but one day he'll see...all of you will see!
"Master Hand, I think we should discuss with Kazuya will be staying at," Isabelle hopped on stage to discuss with the giant hand, as crowd chatter returned to the lecture hall with Kazuya now backstage.
"Ah yes, the room situation, how could I forget!" said Master Hand as Heihachi eavesdropped on Master Hand and Isabelle's conversation. "I've already made my decision...Kazuya will be staying with Heihachi and Akuma."
"He will be WHAT?!" boomed Heihachi as he angrily stood up from his seat; Mario and Cloud quickly hopped on the offensive as they got up from their seats as well. "Tell me it isn't so!"
"Heihachi and Akuma? Those are the perfect roommates for Kazuya!" said Isabelle, as Heihachi had a sudden desire to punch the Shih Tzu in the face. Regardless of how the others felt about such a move.
"Indeed! The Mishimas are too grown to be sleeping in a bunk bed, though..." stated Master Hand, wondering if Heihachi and Akuma's room was spacious enough to carry three beds. "...eh, I guess we'll figure something out."
"You better not think something out!" Heihachi unleashed on Master Hand, as Mario and Cloud both held the Japanese fighter's arms. "Why can't you just let Kazuya stay with Ryu and Ken instead?"
"Stop-a being such a crybaby," Mario said to Heihachi, only for Heihachi to flip Mario onto the floor. His left arm free, Heihachi used his left hand to pry Cloud off of him, before hopping onto the stage.
"MASTER HAND!" Heihachi shouted at the giant hand, who casually grabbed the Japanese fighter by the back of his karate gi. Master Hand was holding Heihachi up high, as Heihachi was punching the air.
"If Cloud and Sephiroth can learn how to coexist, then so can you and Kazuya," Master Hand said to Heihachi, who stopped punching the air after realizing that none of his punches were landing. "What do you have to lose?"
"My pride...and maybe my dignity." Heihachi had to face the facts, and the reality - Kazuya was going to be his roommate, whether he liked it or not. "But if we don't get along as roommates...can you move Kazuyza somewhere else?"
"Oh, it won't be Kazuya who will be moved to another...it will be you." Hearing that made Heihachi gulp nervously, and Heihachi didn't make nervous gulps that often. Unless he discovered that his hair was falling out.
"Why does it have to be me...?" Heihachi's question would remain unanswered, as Master Hand placed the Japanese fighter back on his feet. "...what if Kazuya was in the wrong?"
"Then that would mean you were in the wrong as well. Two wrongs equal a right - and moving you away from Kazuya would be a right decision to make."
"Just try not to put yourself in an uncompromising position," Isabelle offered this piece of advice to Heihachi, who lowered his head as he clenched his fists. Master Hand looked at the crowd and saw a few residents trying to leave the lecture hall.
"Hey! Where are you peons running off to?" Master Hand shouted at the retreating residents, calling them out as the folks near the near exit or outside of the lecture hall quickly returned to their seats. "We still have some time for Kazuya to talk about the G Corporation."
"You still want him to discuss the G Corporation, Master Hand?' Zelda asked the giant hand, whose silence told the princess all that she needed to know. Zelda sighed as she went backstage. "I'll see if Kazuya is in a better mood..."
Once the introduction was over, and Kazuya was done talking about his G Corporation to everyone (better believe that several residents had fallen asleep), everyone was free to go. Fresh out of the lecture hall, Sonic ran to the arcade room to pick up his friend Alex Kidd.
"Didn't I tell you not to play Ms. Pac-Man?" Sonic asked Alex Kidd as the two friends were on their way to Cafe Leblanc. Tails and Crash were also present. "Why is it that I saw you playing the game that I have a high score when I stepped into the arcade room?"
"Because the Pac-Man arcade machine was out of order?" replied Alex Kidd with a nervous smile and an innocent shrug. Sonic didn't buy Alex Kidd's excuse for a second.
"Should've told you to play Galaga instead..." Sonic wasn't nearly as good at Galaga as he was with the other arcade games - he'd have no problem with Alex playing a game like that.
Arcade Bunny: Apparently, Sonic has gotten a big head from being the current record-holder on Ms. Pac-Man. Some of the folks have made complaints about Sonic bragging a bit too much. So I asked that Alex Kidd...kid to play Ms. Pac-Man - even if it was against Sonic's wishes. He was this close to getting the new high score...this close.
"Here we are...Cafe Leblanc!" Sonic said to Alex Kidd, as he brought the brunette to Cafe Leblanc. Alex Kidd was all smiles as he looked around the cafe, catching the attention of Joker and especially Pit.
"No way - it's the rock-paper-scissors world champion, Alex Kidd!" Pit squealed when he saw Alex Kidd, unable to contain excitement as he poured coffee all over Master Mummy. Master Mummy was screaming in pain as Ryuji, who was seated near Joker, almost choked on his coffee.
"Rock-paper-scissors world champion, are you for real?!" the delinquent snorted, as he was holding himself back from an uncontrollable laughing fit. "That's like being the undisputed champion of thumb wrestling!"
"Don't be disrespectful," Joker frowned at Ryuji, who kept his mouth shut as Alex Kidd and his friends sat on the barstools near the counter. Pit went over to Alex Kidd, excited about seeing the brunette again.
"Hey Pit - haven't seen ya in over three years!" Alex Kidd said to the angel, happy to see him for the first time since episode 99. And Pit was more than happy to see Alex Kidd. "So you work here at the cafe?"
"That's right! Joker was kind enough to take me in," Pit happily replied, as he brought Alex Kidd's attention to Joker. Joker was fixing a bowl of curry for Captain Falcon, as he looked over at Alex Kidd and smiled at him.
"It was Joker's idea to have Cafe Leblanc at the mansion," Tails explained to Alex Kidd, as Pit was preparing a bowl of curry. Any guesses as to who the curry was for? "It's kinda inspired by the cafe he worked at in Japan."
"Here you go, Alex - a bowl of red curry!" Pit offered Alex Kidd a bowl of curry that the brunette didn't even ask for. Pit was just that hospitable. "Piping hot for the guest of the afternoon!"
"Thanks, Pit!" Alex Kidd thanked the angel, as he took the spoon in his bowl and took a sip of the curry. A smile formed on Alex Kidd's face, which made Pit feel super happy inside. "Mm! Tastes delicious! I could dip one of my rice balls into this."
"what's your favorite kind of rice, kid?" Sans asked Alex Kidd, as he took a sip from his curry. Alex Kidd looked at Sans uneasily, visibly unnerved by his skeleton interior. "white rice? yellow rice? brown rice?"
"Uh, I just...I just like white rice," Alex Kidd replied, as Sans now probably thought of Alex Kidd as one of the most basic people around. "What's your favorite kind of rice?"
"me. i love rice equally. all kinds. you must be a 'ricist.'" While Alex Kidd was left mostly unbothered by Sans' 'ricist' claims, Pit found himself in shock.
"Wow, Alex, I didn't know you had that much prejudice inside of you," the angel said to Alex Kidd, amazed that the brunette could be so hateful. "And here I thought that you were always a good guy! But that's okay, I'm a bit of a bad guy myself...according to some."
"Sonic! Hope you aren't having too much friend with your friend there," Captain Falcon said to the blue hedgehog, trying to remind him of something that he promised to the racer. "You still owe me and the pilots a golf match!"
"Oh yeah, that's right, we were supposed to have our golf match today!" said Sonic as he suddenly remembered, while Alex Kidd looked at the blue hedgehog all astonished. "Still looking to get creamed, I bet."
"You play golf, Sonic?" Alex Kidd asked the hedgehog, wondering what other talents Sonic had aside from running fast and kart racing. And maybe even breakdancing as well.
"Eh...occasionally. Don't really play that often. Captain Falcon really wanted to play golf with me, which shows you how big of an appetite he has for losing."
"It's you who has a big appetite for losing!" Captian Falcon fired back at Sonic as he pointed at the blue hedgehog. Competitive flares were high in Cafe Leblanc and Ryuji was taking it all in.
"I don't really care for golf, but this is the kind of stuff I like to see," the delinquent said to Joker, hoping that Sonic and Captain Falcon would have a fistfight on the golf course. Little did he know how extremely rare golfers threw punches with one another.
"Seems like it's right up your alley..." commented Joker, as Sonic and Captain Falcon were staring each other down. Neither man wanted to lose - and had nothing to lose on top of that.
"You, me, at the golf course, two o'clock sharp," Captain Falcon said to Sonic before finishing the rest of his curry, as he continued to stare down Sonic while he left the cafe. "Be there or be squared!"
"Oh, I'll be there alright - wanna get a front-row seat to see you lose!" Sonic clapped back at Captain Falcon as he continued to stare down the racer. Captain Falcon kept staring at Sonic as he went down the hallway, bumping into Enderman as he had his head turned back.
Captain Falcon: Sonic likes to think that he's so good at everything. But on the golf course today, I'm gonna give him a nice serving of some humble pie. I'll beat him so beat that I'll have him crying to his mother...or his girlfriend. Maybe even both, if I beat him bad enough.
"Sorry, Alex, but I got some business to take care of," Sonic apologized to the brunette, as his golf match with Captain Falcon was now set. "Gotta take Captain Falcon down a few notches."
"That's fine, Sonic - just do what you have to do," responded Alex Kidd; Sonic was happy to know that the brunette had no ill will to speak of. "Thanks for showing me this cafe!"
"Tails, Crash, you two stick around with Alex while I'm gone," Sonic gave these instructions to his two friends, before turning his attention to Master Mummy. "How would you like to be my caddie?" Sonic asked the mummy.
"Do I get any compensation?" Master Mummy asked Sonic, who dug into his imaginary pocket and pulled out several gold coins. Master Mummy smiled greedily in response. "I'm in..."
Kazuya was moving in with Heihachi and Akuma, and Link pegged X and MegaMan .EXE to put together Kazuya's bed. Due to how relatively small the room was, X and .EXE had to do some...improvisation. The kind of improvisation that Master Hand was fearful of.
"Why are you putting his bed on top of mine?" Heihachi asked X and .EXE as they placed Kazuya's bed on top of Heihachi's. Link and Akuma oversaw the bed being put together, as the latter couldn't help but smirk.
"Well, why wouldn't the biotech CEO want to be with his old man?" asked Akuma, as Heihachi fired a vicious glare at the fighter. "Hey, at least they're not putting you on the top..."
"We still have time to have that arranged," stated .EXE, as Heihachi grumbled to himself. Once they were done setting up Kazuya's bed, X and .EXE hopped back down to the floor.
"Thanks for setting up the bed," Link thanked X and .EXE, who gathered up all the materials and parts they did not need. Link turned his attention to Akuma, was amused by how Heihachi was acting. "If Heihachi and Kazuya start acting violently with one another, don't hesitate to let me know."
"I'll do my best to keep you posted," Akuma assured Link - the last thing he'd want is to be caught in the crossfire of some violent family drama. "Granted, I could handle any needless discord myself..."
"True, but any drama involving the Mishimas is my responsibility. Not yours. You just do your best to keep the peace between Heihachi and Kazuya."
Akuma: Seeing the ordeal going on with Heihachi and Kazuya almost makes me glad that I never had kids myself. I'd have to beat them to a bloody pulp if they ever rebelled against me. *pauses* But even if they didn't, I would still beat them up unconditionally.
Link left Heihachi and Akuma's room along with X and .EXE, before looking to his left and seeing the Mario Bros coming his way. Mario and Luigi both wore golf gear, and they were carrying golf bags with golf clubs.
"You don't think I did a bad-a thing, do you, bro?" Luigi asked Mario, as Link took sight of the brothers and scratched his chin in thought. "About-a convincing Cloud to do the project..."
"The execution...could've been-a better, but you might've had the right-a intentions," replied Mario, offering his two cents without distressing Luigi as much. Soon the Mario Bros ran into Link, X, and .EXE.
"Hey, you two - about to go golfing soon?" Link asked Mario and Luigi; he would join the plumbers in their golfing escapades, but not at the potential risk of humiliating himself on the golf course.
"Yup! Me, Luigi, and a couple-a of others," Mario happily replied as he patted his golf bag. Golfing was one of the plumber's favorite summer pastimes. "Toad is taking everyone-a on his bus."
"Superb. You think that you could invite the Mishimas?" Heihachi and Kazuya going golfing with the Mario Bros sounded like a recipe for disaster, but Mario was open to the idea. "They deserve a lot of father-son bonding if you ask me."
"I don't think that's such a good idea," X said to Link, as he was worried for the safety and well-being of the Mario Bros and anyone else that went out golfing. "Heihachi and Kazuya could..."
"Heihachi and Kazuya got along just fine when they beat the living crap out of Fox. Even got along when they tried to lay a finger on Sephiroth. Those two just need a common enemy...and I might know just the one."
"A common enemy, eh?" Mario raised an eyebrow, as he struggled to think of a single person that the Mishimas could unite against. Could be Sephiroth, but having him on the golf course would be more problematic than the Mishimas coexisting.
"It won't be much, but hopefully it will do the trick. Might also need Rex to keep a close eye on the Mishimas, just in case..."
The Mario Bros gathered outside with Toad near the bus, as those going out to golf were also outside - Fox, Falco, Sonic, Captain Falcon, Chrom, and a couple of others. Lots of golfing in store for today.
"Gex sadly couldn't make it today," Fox delivered the bad news to Falco, who along with Fox wanted Gex to be the pilots' caddie. "Said he was off doing a photoshoot for some magazine."
"We'll get our hands on that magazine, mark my words," Falco vowed to Fox, who nodded in agreement. As Fox checked his golf equipment, Rex came outside with his lady friends...oh, and Dromarch.
"Can't believe that Link suckered you into playing golf," Mythra smirked at Rex, who joined the others standing around the bus. Rex only brought only one golf club with him, and he thought that one was enough.
"Wouldn't say he suckered me - he just asked nicely," responded Rex, as Mythra couldn't help but laugh under her breath. "Got me a golf club, now the other thing that I need as a caddie..."
"Did someone say, caddie?" asked Waluigi, as he popped up behind Rex and placed his hands on the swordsman's shoulders. "Well, you're in luck, because you asked for the right guy!"
"Wouldn't say that I asked for you, Waluigi...but sure, you can tag along." Now officially Rex's caddie, Waluigi pumped his fists as Rex's lady friends found themselves in disbelief.
Rex: Waluigi has been rather pleasant since we made up last week. Still acts weird, yes, but doesn't act weird around me like he used to. Guess all he needed was for someone to understand him. I understood him...I guess, and now I can tolerate his presence more. Weird how everything worked out in the end.
Fox and Falco looked towards the mansion porch and saw Slippy exit from the front door. For a brief moment, the pilots were worried that Slippy would be their caddie, knowing how much the frog would drive them insane...but they let out sighs of relief when they saw Slippy exit the mansion with the Mishimas, Heihachi and Kazuya.
"OMG! I'm so stoked to go golfing with you two!" Slippy said to Heihachi and Kazuya, as Link followed the trio down the porch steps. Both Heihachi and Kazuya looked like they wanted to rip Slippy limb by limb.
"No, Slippy, you're only our caddie," Heihachi reminded the frog, as he held his golf bag effortlessly in his right hand. "Link, you really couldn't have asked someone better?"
"I'm just amazed that you two even agreed to go golfing," Link said to Heihachi and Kazuya, who joined Mario and the others at the bus. "Who knows, this might be good for your relationship!"
"Only if I win," proclaimed Kazuya as he stared down his father; he would love nothing more than to beat his own dad at golf. Link went over to speak with Rex, having a few words he needed to say.
"If stuff goes down on the golf course, let me know," the Hylian whispered to Rex, as he kept a close eye on the Mishimas. So far, Heihachi and Kazuya were acting tranquil around one another...and Link expected them to keep it up.
Link: Slippy is an easy person to antagonize against. Nobody can stand that frog. Heck, I don't think that Slippy can even stand himself! Heihachi and Kazuya will hate Slippy together, with a burning passion, and that should hopefully allow them to get along better. You know what they say...the enemy of your enemy is your friend.
"Okay guys, we're ready to roll!" announced Toad as he opened the bus door and poked his head out. "The bus is ready to go! Come on inside!"
"You should go first," Kazuya offered to Heihachi, as he allowed his father to be the first Mishima to enter the bus. "I insist. Don't be so bashful!"
"I know what sick games you're trying to pull..." Heihachi frowned at Kazuya, under the assumption that his son planned to trip him up on his way to the bus or something. "...you can't possibly fool me!"
"You guys coming in or what?" Rex asked the Mishimas, who both looked around and saw that everyone outside had boarded the bus. "We're gonna leave without ya!"
"I got a close eye on you..." Heihachi entered the bus as he continued to frown at Kazuya, who smirked deviously as he followed his old man inside the bus. With everyone now inside, Toad closed the door and the bus took off down the road.
During his break from serving coffee and curry at Cafe Leblanc, Pit challenged Alex Kidd to a series of rock-paper-scissors games. The angel didn't win against Alex Kidd as much as he hoped, but he wasn't doing terribly either.
"Aw, you got me again!" Alex Kidd yelled in defeat after he drew paper and Pit drew scissors. No shame in losing to a rock-paper-scissors pro. "Guess you can't win 'em all."
"You put up a good fight, Alex Kidd," Tails said to the brunette, as Pit returned to behind the counter feeling oddly smug. Pit got a first-hand taste of just how good Alex Kidd really was.
"I don't get it - how is it that I was able to beat Alex a few times, yet I always keep losing to Kirby?" wondered Pit as he put his apron back on, while Joker looked at the angel and shook his head.
Joker: Because of how Kirby's hands are, he can only draw rock when playing rock-paper-scissors. But whenever Pit plays against him...he always draws scissors! He had no problem mixing it up against Alex Kidd.
"Hope you enjoyed your win against the so-called 'rock-paper-scissors champion', Pit!" Ryuji sneered at the angel, as he could help but laugh. Alex Kidd was feeling down, which Pit took notice of.
"Don't listen to him, Alex, Ryuji is just a hater," Pit encouragingly said to the brunette, as Alex Kidd lifted his head and smiled. "I bet he can't even beat you at rock-paper-scissors!"
"Oh please - rock-paper-scissors is such a kids game." Ryuji folded his arms behind his head and smirked, as he felt very confident in his abilities. "Real men like me would beat the snot out of some Alex Kidd!"
"Okay then - how about you put yourself up to the challenge?" Alex Kidd challenged Ryuji, as he hopped on the counter and stared down the delinquent. Ryuji wasn't going to let someone like Alex Kidd talk to him like that. "You and me, in a game of rock-paper-scissors!"
"Is that what you want? Then you're on!" Ryuji stood up from his barstool, ad he and Alex Kidd shook hands to signify their rock-paper-scissors game. "I'm gonna take you to town, ya little punk!"
"Well, Crash, this could end very well...or very bad," Tails said to the bandicoot; Ryuji might have no idea what he was in for.
Toad pulled up to the golf course, bringing everyone in his bus that he most definitely stole. Once the bus came to a stop, Toad opened the door as Mario and everyone else filed out, bringing their golf equipment with them.
"Ah, golf! The sport-a of champions!" relished Mario, as he got down on all fours and smelled the green grass. Kazuya walked past the plumber, giving him a judging look.
"The grass is fake...some of it, but the fun is real!" exclaimed Captain Falcon as he looked around the golf course, soaking in all the sights. "There's something here for everyone!"
"Hehehe..." the male Inkling giggled, as he and the female Inkling were spray-painting the word "Weiners" on a nearby wall. The groundskeeper of the golf course caught them in the act.
"Hey, you! Stop! Come back here!" the groundskeeper shouted at the Inklings, who both ran away screaming. The groundskeeper powered on his golf cart and in an attempt to chase the Inklings down. "Hey, those are lewd hand gestures!"
Mario and Luigi were off golfing, and they were doing so with Heihachi and Kazuya. Heihachi was up first, as he struck the ball with his golf club. Much to his chagrin, the ball fell in some sand.
"Nice shot," Kazuya sarcastically complimented Heihachi, who growled at his son. Heihachi would've thrown his golf club at Kazuya, but that would only get him banned from the course.
"You'll get the next-a one," Mario assured Heihachi, who moved to the side as he allowed Mario to golf next. Mario hit the ball, and he sent into the fairway. Earned him some applause from Luigi.
"Way to go, bro!" Luigi commended his twin brother, as Mario smiled and tipped his hat. Even though he hadn't golfed in a while, Mario still had it. "You're still as sharp-a as I can remember."
"Thanks-a Luigi! It's nice to hear such kind-a words from your own family." Mario made this remark as he looked at Kazuya, who looked the other way. Heihachi would do the same.
While Mario and the others were off doing their own golfing thing, the group of Rex, Pyra, Mythra, Nia, and Dromarch were at a hole, with Waluigi serving as their caddie. Pyra, wanting to take a shot at golfing, prepared herself as she held her golf club.
"Focus...focus...and..." Pyra said to herself, before swinging her club and missing the golf ball. The golf ball rolled into a nearby bunker, much to Pyra's dismay.
"Don't worry, Pyra! You're still..." Waluigi said to the Blade as he walked over to her and smacked a dinosaur sticker on her chest, from his sticker book. "...eh! 'Ext-roar-dinary'!"
"I'll take what I can get." Dismayed by how her stroke turned out, Pyra moved to the side as Rex went up to the hole. Rex stood in front of the golf ball, as he did some hip wiggle that almost made the others burst out laughing.
"Do the hip wiggle, and eh!" said Rex, before he hit the ball with his club. The ball traveled far in the air, before bouncing off of the belly of a sleeping King K. Rool and into the nearby hole.
"Hey, watch it!" K. Rool shouted as he suddenly woke up, before going back to his sleep. "Go with them to the golf course, they said...you'll get plenty of sleep there, they said..."
Rex: It was Mario who taught me the hip wiggle trick. Said that doing it before each hole would guarantee success. He demonstrated the wiggle while he was sitting inside the bus, but I still think I did it right...Mario would be proud.
"Well, I'll be - a hole in one!" marveled Dromarch, as he and the others were left in awe while Rex celebrated his miraculous hole-in-one. Rex was trying his hardest not to flex. "Who knew that Rex actually has talent!"
"Dromarch, you ain't seen nothing yet!" Rex said to the feline, as he left momentarily to retrieve the golf ball. The legend of Rex the golf player had just begun.
Cloud was glad to be back at the mansion, and it was a kind of feeling that he did not expect to have. Just being back in the company of the other residents made the swordsman feel like he was back home again. It was one thing that he missed. The other thing that he missed was seeing things that he did not expect to see...such as Ryuji playing rock-paper-scissors with Kirby.
"Haha, yes, I beat you again!" cheered Ryuji after he beat Kirby for the nth time at rock-paper-scissors. Cloud walked into the lounge and saw the delinquent celebrating as if he won a prestigious wrestling title.
"Are you seriously playing rock-paper-scissors against Kirby?" Cloud questioned Ryuji, trying his hardest not to judge the delinquent too much. "You couldn't have found someone better?"
"Kirby is undefeated at rock-paper-scissors, at least according to Pit." The fact that Ryuji even believed Pit made Cloud want to judge him more. "If I want to beat that Alex Kidd twerp, I have to beat the best!"
Kirby: Believe it or not, I'm undefeated against Pit at rock-paper-scissors. It sounds more pathetic than you think.
"You should try playing against someone who has human hands," Cloud suggested to Ryuji, who waved off the swordsman he was ready to start another round with Kirby. "That could really help you out."
"You know what, Cloud, I'm getting tired of your crap," Ryuji said to the swordsman as he had his hand out, and his other hand balled in a fist. "Go and tell someone else what to do!"
"Alright...my bad for trying to help." Cloud threw his arms up in defeat and left the lounge, as Ryuji and Kirby started another round of rock-paper-scissors. Ryuji cheered as he beat Kirby once more.
Back to Rex at the golf course, and the swordsman was still doing his thing. He was killing it at golf so much that he even accrued a crowd of spectators.
"Got ourselves quite a crowd," observed Nia when she looked around and saw all the folks that were gathered around. "Rex better not let his newfound fame get to his head!"
"You can do it, Rex! Pretend the ball is Amalthus's face!" Rex said to himself, before hitting the golf ball with all his might. The swordsman nearly scored a hole, only for the golf ball to miss and roll into a bunker. Rex grunted as he threw his golf club on the ground.
"Aw man..." a spectator moaned, as he and everyone else in the crowd dispersed after the golf ball rolled into the bunker. Talk about a very fickle crowd.
"Ah, don't worry about it, Rex!" Mythra did her best to cheer up the swordsman, as she put her hand on his back. "This whole golf thing is just random."
"Yeah, besides the Bermuda triangle, how golf works is our world's greatest mystery," stated Waluigi, doing his best to cheer Rex up, only to be met with weird looks from the swordsman and the others.
"As far as I'm concerned, you're still better than anyone else in the mansion."
Perhaps Mythra might've spoken too soon, as a golf ball flew down into the nearby hole - and it was a hole-in-one, too! Gasping, Rex and company looked over and saw Chrom standing with Wario while holding his golf club.
"Oh, would you look at that? A hole-in-one!" exclaimed Chrom, amazed by his own golf skill. Even he was surprised by the feat he pulled off. "If only my kids were here to see it."
"Chrom..." uttered Rex as he furrowed his brow, recalling the bad blood that he had with the prince a few years back. Chrom and Wario walked over to Rex and company.
"Well, if it isn't Rex and friends! I'm surprised to see you two on the golf course, Pyra and Mythra. Whoever's in charge around here must have a thing for melons, if you catch my drift."
Mythra: Would it be wrong to punch a grandpa? *cracks knuckles*
"Hey, Chrom! Tell me, how's that whole 'being the head chef of the mansion thing' thing turn out for you?" Rex asked the prince; he was trying to get under Chrom's skin, but even he knew that was such a weak attempt.
"Great, actually! Thanks to Wario here covering my tracks for me," replied Chrom, as Wario smiled and clicked his fingers at Rex. "Even helped me truly perfect my Chiles Rellenos. That's the thing about money, it makes problems go away!"
"Well, it can't buy you skill! You walked into the game of a golf champion! Uh...future golf champion, I should say."
"Future golf champion, huh? At least I can say that I've had some training, which was done in secret. Tell him, Wario."
"They had a golf Olympics one year, and I took gold!" Wario explained to Rex in a bragging manner, as he ripped his shirt to reveal a gold medal. Probably wore that thing under his shirt at all times. "I've passed everything that I know to Chrom."
"So if you don't mind moving out of the way of the professionals...how about you just sit back and enjoy second place." Chrom was displaying a level of cockiness never seen from him before, and Rex refused to let the prince have such a big head.
"Oh, yeah? Well...I challenge you to a golf match!" Rex pointed at Chrom, who was about to leave the premises with Wario. "You...you WALKING ONE-DIMENSIONAL BLUE-HAIRED FAKE CASSANOVA WANNABE!"
Waluigi and all of Rex's friends gasped collectively, as Rex had cut real deep into Chrom. Chrom took Rex's insult personally, as he quickly accepted the swordsman's challenge.
"Alright then, let's do this!" the prince exclaimed as he confronted Rex; the two swordsmen were staring each other down, as the intensity was radiating in the air. "We'll see who's best!"
"I'll be here..." vowed Rex, as he continued to stare down Chrom...before spitting out something that got into his mouth. Chrom took a few steps back out of concern. "...puh! A stupid fly got in my mouth. Puh!"
Captain Falcon, Sonic, Fox, and Falco - four of the fastest dudes in Smash - were putting their own spin on their golf game. They were playing what was called "speed golf" - a game where the four Smashers took shots at the same time and race to their ball after each stroke. This went on until the ball was in the hole.
"FORE!" Captain Falcon shouted before he, Sonic, Fox, and Falco hit their golf balls at the same time. Falcon and the pilots ran to their balls, which landed in the green, and by the time they reached the hole...Sonic was already standing at the flagpole, wagging his finger.
"Haha, you're too slow!" Sonic taunted Captain Falcon and the pilots, who were too salty to hit their balls into the hole. Falco was especially upset as he took his golf club and threw it across a pond.
"Sheesh! Sonic is too fast for us," Captain quietly discussed with Fox, fearful of the potential humiliation that Sonic would bring upon if he kept on golfing with the others. "We ought to handicap him a bit."
"We should force Sonic to golf in sandals," suggested Fox, and Captain Falcon gave the pilot a funny look. "What's so wrong with that?"
"It's not just that...you really think some sandals will slow Sonic down?" As long as Sonic wasn't wearing his classic red shoes, he might be slowed down.
"Think about it. LeBron James might be a great basketball player, but how great would he be if he wore sandals?" Fox made a pretty good point, as Captain Falcon thought to himself.
"Come to think of it...you might be on to something! Let's go see if the gift shop around here has some sandals we can buy."
Rex and company went to a restaurant near the golf course, as Rex needed a place to formulate his plan to beat Chrom at golf. As Rex thought to himself while eating some chips, doubt started to seep in.
"Time to scratch golf off my possible talents list," the swordsman sighed as Nia, who sat next to Rex, was disheartened by her boyfriend's defeatism, "There's no way that I could beat Chrom."
"Aw, don't give up, Rex," Waluigi said to the swordsman, as he instilled her confidence into the swordsman. Beforehand, Rex would tell the lanky man to back off. "If you beat Chrom at golf, he can never rag on you again. Imagine it!"
Pyra: Rex has already beaten Chrom a few times before...miraculously, at least. So a game of golf should be a walk in the park for him. Unless there's some cheating involved. I think we all know who would be doing most of the cheating, though...
"You're right, guys!" said Rex, getting his confidence back as he stood on the table. "I just need to practice a little more before our match."
"Get your feet off my table, bub!" the restaurant owner shouted at Rex, as he tossed a bottle of ketchup at the swordsman's head. Rex quickly hopped off the table in a hurry, as the owner threw more condiments at him in a fit of rage. Or maybe perhaps the owner was dying to throw stuff at someone.
It was Kazuya's turn to golf, and the businessman swung his golf club with great intensity. He swung so hard, that he caused his golf club to break when the club hit the ground.
"Only a simpleton like you would break a golf club..." Heihachi said to Kazuya as he shook his head in dismay. That got on Kazuya's nerves, in a hurry.
"Who are you calling a simpleton?!" Kazuya questioned Heihachi as he marched over to his dad. The Mario Bros looked on nervously, as the caddie, Slippy, got in-between the Mishimas.
"Guys! Why can't we just get along and be friends?" Slippy asked Heihachi and Kazuya as he kept the two apart from each other. Heihachi and Kazuya stared each other down, as the bad blood was brewing.
"Who are you to talk...you have no real friends outside of the pilots," Heihachi said to Slippy as he put the frog in his place; poor Slippy was left speechless. "Stay in your lane and go back to the golf cart."
"Yes sir!" Valuing his life and safety, Slippy did as he was told and returned to the golf cart. The Mario Bros watched everything unfold, and they did not like how things were coming along with the Mishimas.
Rex and company returned to the golf course, finding a good spot for Rex to practice his golf swing at. Pyra, Mythra, Nia, and Dromarch offered to keep watch for anyone getting in the way of Rex's practice, while Waluigi stuck around with Rex for what he considered "moral support".
"Hey, Rex," Waluigi approached the swordsman, before sticking a "U DA BEST" sticker on his chest. It always was the thought that counts. "Knock 'em dead."
"I'll do my best!" replied Rex as he gave Waluigi a thumbs up. In the past, Rex would have resented Waluigi's encouragement, but now...he had a level of appreciation towards the lanky man that he never felt before.
Sonic was at the golf cart chilling with the caddie, Petey Piranha, when he saw Captain Falcon and the pilots coming his way. In Captain Falcon's hands were some sandals
"Are those...Nike sandals?" Sonic asked Captain Falcon, who handed the sandals to the blue hedgehog. "Did I win at speed golf already?!"
"No, this is just a handicap to make our game fair," Falco explained to Sonic, who couldn't fault Falco and company for wanting to have a chance at winning.
"Make the game fair, eh? Fine then, we'll see how this goes." Sonic had a smirk on his face as he took off his red shoes, and put on the sandals. "I won't fault you guys for trying..."
Rex was working on his golf swing, attempting to hit a golf ball. The swordsman hit the golf ball, and the ball flew up in the air before landing in the bunker.
"Dang it!" grunted Rex as he tried to break his golf club in half...and when that didn't work, he just tossed his golf club on the ground.
"I don't get it - the ball always falls in the same bunker," frowned Waluigi as he stared at the bunker in question...before gasping when he saw the golf ball pop out of the bunker and into the ground, before rolling into the nearest hole. "Did you see that?"
"What? What is it?" Rex was so busy brooding over his lousy golf swing, that he failed to notice the magic that Waluigi supposedly saw.
"Grab your club." So Rex grabbed his club, and he followed Waluigi cautiously to the bunker. Once they reached the bunker, Waluigi and Rex peered below...
...and saw a bunch of tiny people, no bigger than Toon Link's thumb, just chilling and having a jolly good time. These tiny people gasped when they looked up and saw Rex and Waluigi, who both screamed. And the tiny people...screamed in return. Rex and Waluigi screamed, and the tiny people screamed, and it just repeated.
"What are you boys screaming about over there?" Nia shouted at Rex and Waluigi, as she only heard the swordsman and the lanky man screaming. "Thought you were supposed to be practicing..."
"Are we good?" one of the tiny people asked, as he looked around at his fellow men and then at Rex and Waluigi. "Alright then! Hi, hello. I'm Jotaro, and welcome to our home!"
"What exactly are you?" Rex asked Jotaro and the other tiny people, amazed by just how small they were. "Are you guys tiny humans, or enormous mini-humans?"
"Neither. We're the Minish! We're only meant to be seen by well-behaved children, yet a few adults have seen us. And we control the balls on this golf course!"
Bowser: I asked the owner of this golf course if the course was powered by any magic (only did it just to trick him), and he claimed that the magic from the Kinstones made the golf course go, or something. Said that because of this magic, I get to see things that I'm not "meant to see". Just basing off on what this guy said, I assume that he's some kind of covert pervert. He totally fits the vibe.
"That's incredible...and maybe a little unnecessary!" remarked Rex, who knew that there was some funny business taking place on the golf course.
"It's become our passion ever since we made this place our home," stated Jotari, as the other Minish started to gather around. "Would you like us to elaborate through song?" The Minish were about to sing...
"Eh, we're good," Waluigi informed the Minish, who all groaned in disappointment and dispersed. Even if the song was like a minute long, Rex and Waluigi didn't want any of their valuable time wasted.
"So what are you humans doing here anyway?" Jotari asked Rex and Waluigi - as if the golf club that Rex was holding wasn't obvious enough to him or the Minish.
"We kind of have to play this golf tournament against my rival, Chrom," Rex explained to the Minish who gasped and muttered among ourselves. "We have a bit of history.
"Oh, we know all about rivals. We've seen plenty out here on the golf course. We would love to lend you a hand...but only for a fee, perhaps. I don't know."
"Jotari, look!" one of the Minish cried out as he pointed at Waluigi's sticker, which was on Rex's chest. Jotari looked at the sticker, as he found himself enchanted by it.
"The sticker. The sticker would be the perfect award. It does say 'the best' on it...and we are the best Minish around! Not that much competition, though..."
"Psst! Rex! This is perfect!" Waluigi whispered to the swordsman, as he found great use in the Minish people. "These guys control the course! Just let them help you win, and then give them your sticker as a thank you."
"I'm not sure, Waluigi," replied Rex, who wanted to beat Chrom fair and square. "I wanna beat Chrom, but doesn't this seem like...cheating?
"Not really. And besides, the person who trained Chrom is Wario. Wario's rich, he's cheating at life. I would know since I'm his friend."
Waluigi: I've always thought that being a friend of Wario would have its perks...but to tell you the truth, I usually have the short end of the stick. Wario rarely gives me any money - he didn't even agree to pay for my hospital bill one time! That hammer I got stuck in my pancreas hurt like heck!
"Hmm, you have a point there," Rex said to Waluigi, before bringing his attention to the Minish people as he had his mind made up. "Alright, Minish, we're going to have a game of golf! And if you do a great job helping me win, you will get a sticker!"
"Then it's a deal," confirmed Jotari, as he shook his tiny Minish hand with Rex's index finger. "You'll be victorious in no time!"
Alex Kidd remained at Cafe Leblanc, hanging out with Tails and Crash when Ryuji returned to the cafe. Ryuji only had one thing on his mind - and that was being victorious.
"Alex Kidd!" the delinquent pointed at the brunette, grabbing his attention, as time seemingly froze at the cafe. Everyone was staring at Ryuji. "I'm ready - ready to beat you at rock-paper-scissors!"
"He's actually doing this...?" wondered Joker as he shook his head, as Ryuji pushed Crash off his stool and took his seat. "No way..."
"He's actually doing this?!" exclaimed Pit, as he was eager to see Ryuji and Alex Kidd duke it out. "No way!"
Tifa: Ryuji apparently thinks that he's a "certified pro" at rock-paper-scissors, having beaten Kirby multiple times. Who knew that throwing out paper against Kirby's "rock" would give him such a big head...
"You're ready to do this?" Alex Kidd asked Ryuji, who was more than ready as he had his hand out. Alex Kidd got his hand out too. "Let's do it!"
"Bring it on!" shouted Ryuji, who was about to put Alex Kidd in his place...or so he had hoped. Ryuji and Alex Kidd pounded their fists in their hands three times, and Alex Kidd drew scissors...while Ryuji drew paper.
"Haha, I win!" Alex Kidd relished in his victory, while Ryuji just looked at his hand dumbfoundedly. Ryuji wasn't going to leave with an L to his name.
"Nah, I let you have that one. Best two-out-of-three!" So Ryuji and Alex Kidd did another round of rock-paper-scissors, and Ryuji drew rock while Alex drew paper. In the third round, Ryuji went back to paper, and Alex drew scissors, as Alex successfully swept Ryuji 3-0.
"Wanna go at it again?" Given that Ryuji still had his hand out, the answer was obvious to Alex Kidd. "I can do this all day if I have to!"
Rex was ready for his golf match, and Chrom was ready too as he got some golf practice in with his trainer, Wario. The prince also asked Toad to bring him back to the mansion, for had to make a quick stop...he wanted his family to see him beat Rex.
"But now remember, Chrom, winning is everything," Wario said to the prince, who had successfully brought Lucina, Robin, Morgan, and Marc with him to the golf course. Raven got out of coming by claiming that golf courses gave her "anxiety". Which Chrom apparently believed.
"It's not the only thing," grumbled Lucina, who essentially had to go in Raven's place. Chrom wanted at least one female adult as a spectator.
"Wario, I've been practicing for a couple of hours or so," Chrom said to the fatso, letting him know that he had nothing to worry about. "I've got this. Just sit back, and watch!"
"Do we really have to watch you golf?" Robin asked Chrom; the mage wasn't that fond of golfing, and having to watch Chrom golf against his will would only make him bored out of his mind.
"How much are you willing to bet that they are no-shows?" Chrom would soon eat his own words, as he saw Rex and Waluigi standing confidently together near a hole.
"Looking for someone?" Rex asked Chrom as he had his arms folded, while Waluigi was striking his own pose. "We've been waiting for you, Chrom!"
"...that's totally not creepy at all. Seriously though, I don't know why you bothered to stick around. Unless you've got something up your sleeve."
"Oh, I guess you could say we've got a little something..." A Minish popped out of Rex's sleeve, and Rex laughed nervously as he shoved the Minish back in. Waluigi, who saw the Minish as well, was also laughing nervously.
"Eighteen holes, standard rules," Wario laid out the guidelines for the golf match, as Rex and Chrom got ready and pulled out their golf clubs. "Winner lives in glory, loser wallows in eternal shame. On your mark, get set, golf!"
Chrom went up first as he hit the golf ball. The ball landed on the grass, only to roll over into the bunker. No thanks to the Minish. As Chrom looked on, disappointed, Rex hit his ball and the ball landed at the same spot that Chrom's ball did...before rolling a far distance into the first hole. Chrom was gobsmacked, as Wario found himself scratching his head.
"Are you serious?!" Chrom growled as he pulled on his hair, before turning to his family. Morgan was the only person that was actually paying attention. "Did you guys see that?"
"See what?" asked Lucina, not caring enough to look around or ask Chrom what she had missed. The apathy only made Chrom even more agitated.
Rex and Chrom moved on to the second hole, and Chrom was looking to redeem himself. Chrom hit his ball, and the ball landed on the ground and rolled into the bunker. The same thing would happen with Rex...except when the ball rolled into the bunker, it rolled right out of it and into the hole.
"What?!" Chrom angrily shouted as he tossed his golf club; Pyra, Mythra, Nia, and Dromarch showed up and saw Chrom having an angry fit. "Wario! Soda! Now!"
"Would you look at that - Rex must be winning against Chrom," smiled Mythra, as Wario hustled to the nearest vending machine to fetch a soda for Chrom. "Totally didn't see that coming."
"He's always had Chrom's number," commented Pyra, before furrowing her brow when she saw Rex high-fiving the Minish with his finger. Although it didn't appear that way to the Blade. "Why is he poking the ground like that...?"
Pyra: I was worried that Waluigi might've been some kind of bad luck charm, being Rex's caddie and all. But from the looks of it, everything has been pushing up daisies for Rex! Don't know if that means I'll ever stop doubting Waluigi, but...it's a good start.
Heihachi was about to hit a par, as his ball was inches away from the hole. Readying his mind, the Japanese fighter hit the ball into the hole and raised his golf club in triumph.
"Now that's how it's really done!" exclaimed Heiahachi, as he was speaking to Kazuya in particular. He looked at Kazuya with a mocking smile, and Kazuya stared right back. "Take that, son!"
"That was nothing..." Kazuya waved off Heihachi, as he walked away from the hole. Mario and Luigi were distraught to see the businessman leave. "...I could do much better with my eyes closed."
"Kazuya, come back, you still have time to redeem yourself!" Slippy called out to the business, who ignored the frog as he kept on walking. "There's no shame in scoring a double bogey!"
"That old man thinks he's so good at golf...bah! He's just lucky today, that's all. A lucky streak, that's all it is."
"Well, boys, we've been working wonders for the brunette," Jotari discussed with his fellow Minish folk, taking a short break while Wario went to go grab a beverage for Chrom. Kazuya heard the tiny voices from a few inches away. "He's got this in the bag!"
"Got what in the bag?" Soon enough, Kazuya saw the Minish, as he knelt to get a closer look at them. All of the Minish were shivering in fear at the sight of Kazuya. "Care to explain?"
"Uh, we, uh...we were talking about Kinstones!" Jotari was very intimidated by Kazuya, who could tell that the Minish was speaking the truth. "Totally not a golf game or anything..."
"Golf game. You don't mean the one that I'm playing right now, are you?" Kazuya leaned in close to Jotari, who was backing away for his own safety.
"No, not at all! There's another golf game going on. One that involves some guy named Chrom. And if we help the human going against Chrom win, he'll give us a sticker!"
"Helping him cheat to win, I see..." Kazuya smirked, knowing that he would've cheated himself. "...why don't you save yourself all the work, and just get the sticker? Give yourself some instant gratification."
"Instant gratification...hmm..." Jotari thought to himself; having planted the seed, the still smirking Kazuya got up and walked away.
"Something is going on, Wario," Chrom said to the fatso, who returned to the prince with a bottle of Mountain Dew. That's a soda for gamers, not golfers! "I can feel it."
"Maybe they have little people who control where the balls go," assumed Wario, who had no idea how right he was. Suddenly, the fatso fell to the ground, against his own control, and was...being dragged away?
"I mean, think about it. It's ridiculous that he's beating me." Chrom opened his bottle of soda and took a sip from it, only to spit out the contents afterward. "Ugh, Mountain Dew! This isn't the appropriate beverage. Get me some Gatorade, Wario." Chrom looked around and saw that Wario was nowhere to be found. "Wario...?"
With Sonic now wearing sandals, Captain Falcon and the pilots hoped to make the game of speed golf fair. The four golfers were standing together, with Sonic wearing his Nike sandals.
"FORE!" Captain Falcon shouted before he, Sonic, Fox, and Falco hit their golf balls at the same time. Falcon and the pilots hoped that Sonic would be running along with them...but despite wearing sandals, Sonic still ran at the speed of sound. The three came to a stop, admitting defeat, as Sonic ran back to them a few seconds later.
"What's the matter, you guys calling it quits?" Sonic asked Captain Falcon and the pilots, who were all beyond disgusted with the hedgehog. "So much for these sandals 'slowing' me down!"
"That's it...I quit," grumbled Fox, him and Falco throwing their golf clubs unto the ground as they marched away in defeat. Captain Falcon was about to leave himself, until...
"Why do I hear screaming?" the racer wondered as he put his hand to his ear, hearing someone calling out for help.
Rex and Waluigi were gathered at Waluigi's golf cart, along with Rex's lady friends and Dromarch. The two were tallying up the scores, and so far Rex was blowing Chrom out of the water.
"I can't wait to see the look on Chrom's face when we win," Waluigi said to Rex and company, "I'm thinking it'll be like 'ugh.'" The lanky man made a face, and it was pretty hard to decipher. Judging looks all around. "You know how he does that? 'Ugh'."
"Guys, is it bad that I feel good about him feeling bad?" Rex asked his lady friends and Dromarch concerning Chrom, fearing that he might be rubbing too much salt in the wound.
"Ah, just enjoy your victory, Rex," Nia said to the swordsman, as she couldn't wait to see her boyfriend grab another victory against Chrom. "Trust me, Chrom will be fine."
But it turns out that Chrom wasn't fine, as the prince was heard screaming. Waluigi drove everyone to the source of Chrom's screaming and saw the prince tied up in front of a windmill. His family was tied up too, as well as Wario.
"What's going on here? Let us go!" shouted Chrom as he tried to fight out of the rope, but to absolutely no avail. His arms were completely restricted.
"...and this is why coming to the golf course was a bad idea," remarked Lucina, who didn't have it in her to fight out of the rope. Rex and company looked up at the windmill in shock, before looking down and seeing Jotari and the Minish.
"Welcome humans, welcome!" Jotari greeted Rex and company, who all had to kneel just to see the Minish better. "I can tell you're loving this, right, right? No?"
"What are you guys doing?" Rex asked the Minish, refusing to believe that such tiny people were capable of tying up multiple people. "This wasn't part of the deal, Jotari!"
"Okay, so you already had a big lead on Chrom..." Jotari said to Rex, while trying to look as cute and innocent as possible. "...so we thought, why not just skip ahead and earn our sticker already? So how about it?"
Kazuya: *laughs evilly to himself* I taught those tiny people well, haven't I?
"What's it going to be?" Jotari asked Rex, as the other Minish were clamoring for Rex to hand over the sticker. Rex heard all the clamoring, and couldn't take it any longer.
"ENOUGH!" the swordsman boomed, as the Minish were completely silenced. Not a single peep from the Minish people. "You know what? You guys don't get the sticker!"
"Boo!" one of the Minish people booed Rex, and soon enough all of the Minish were booing Rex. But Rex didn't care one bit.
"No, no. Nuh-uh. No booing. Stop. No one gets the sticker because you're all being jerks! Why do you even want the sticker so bad?"
"Because that Kazuya guy said that it would give us 'instant gratification,'" replied Jotari, as Rex suddenly remembered what he was supposed to do - keep a close eye on Kazuya. But his golf match with Chrom had distracted him.
"Crap, I was supposed to keep watch of Kazuya...this was all my fault. But you know what? Having bad blood with someone is dumb. Maybe you don't settle beef with petty competitions. Maybe the only way to be 'da best' is by ending the fighting and working together!"
To prove his point, Rex ripped off his sticker and ate it angrily. The Minish gasp and converse among themselves, while Waluigi and the others just looked at Rex like he was crazy.
Rex: Got no clue what compelled me to eat that sticker. I partly blame Waluigi.
"It's all so clear..." remarked Jotari as he was in deep thought, taking into strong account the wise words that Rex told him and the Minish. "If we work together...then we can cut open her belly and get the sticker!"
"Get the boy! Slice him open!" shouted one of the Minish, as the legions of Minish people banded together to topple Rex over. The Minish caused Rex to fall to the ground before they dragged him away.
"Uh, you guys aren't appreciating the lesson here!" Rex said to the Minish, who were dragging the swordsman to the windmill that Chrom and others were tied to. Rex's friends desired to rescue the swordsman but were helpless in doing so.
"What are we gonna do?" Waluigi asked Rex's lady friends, not caring to include Dromarch in the conversation. Even though he was perhaps the wisest individual around. "Those Minish are too tiny, we can't stop them!"
"We could just squish them with our feet," Nia suggested with a shrug, apparently fancying herself as a mass murderer of magical creatures. "No harm done there..."
"Falcon...PUUUUUNNNNNCCCHHH!"
Help would seemingly be on the way, as the windmill that Chrom and the others were tied up to suddenly fell. This was thanks to Captain Falcon, who had Falcon Punched the windmill to the ground.
"Thank you, Captain Falcon, you're a lifesaver!" Chrom thanked the racer, who took the time to untie everyone from the windmill. Fortunately, no one was hurt when the windmill crashed.
"You oughta be lucky that I heard you screaming," responded Captain Falcon, and soon enough the racer had everyone untied. The Minish saw what Falcon had done, as they came to a stop.
Captain Falcon: Sonic is such a cheater at golf, man. Doesn't even know how to slow down, always has to go super fast! You think he would be that fast if he had to run barefoot?
"No, not the windmill!" shouted Jotari, as the Minish were forced to drop Rex on the ground. Waluigi approached the Minish, bringing his sticker book with him. "We were going to extract the sticker from his stomach over there."
Hey, Minish!" Waluigi called out to the Minish, grabbing his attention as he held his sticker book. The Minish were allured by the sticker book, which Waluigi placed on the ground as he took out Rex's golf club. "What's ten minus six?"
"Ten minus...wait, hang on..." Apparently, math wasn't Jotari's strongest suit, and the Minish was struggling to answer such a simple math equation. But that just bought Waluigi more time.
"Four!" With the golf club in hand, Waluigi smacked his sticker book away, sending it far across the golf course. The Minish watched in amazement as the sticker book traveled through the air.
"After the stickers!" Following Jotari's lead, the Minish chased after the direction that the sticker book flew, hoping to get their hands on a plethora of stickers. Waluigi chuckled as the Minish ran off.
"Enjoy those stickers!" Waluigi called out to the Minish, before looking at the ground and shaking his head. "Should've kept that book at home..."
"You okay, Rex?" Captain Falcon asked the swordsman, as he ran over to help him up on his feet. Rex appeared okay as he dusted himself off.
"Yeah, I'm fine," assured Rex, smiling as Waluigi gave him back his golf club. "Those tiny Minish people don't really hurt much. I barely even felt them carrying me!"
Alex Kidd and Ryuji were still playing rock-paper-scissors, and Ryuji still had yet to earn himself a win. Cloud and Tifa both entered the cafe, seeing Ryuji getting his butt kicked by Alex Kidd.
"So, this is where Ryuji's 'practice' has led him to," Tifa said to Cloud, amazed at how Ryuji was losing so many times in so little time. "Losing over and over and over again."
"Dang it - how do you keep beating me?!" Ryuji questioned Alex Kidd, getting frustrated as he lost more rounds of rock-paper-scissors than he could count. "You must be some kind of mind reader!"
"Not really," Alex Kidd casually replied with a smile, as he was getting real tired of winning against Ryuji. "When it comes to rock-paper-scissors...it just comes naturally to me, I guess."
"How long has these two been playing?" Cloud came over to ask Tails and Crash, who were both enjoying Ryuji getting his butt kicked.
"Over half an hour," replied Tails, who lost count of how many times Alex Kidd won. "You oughta speak some sense into Ryuji before he gets further humiliated."
"Right on it." Cloud went over to Ryuji, tapping the delinquent on his shoulder. But Ryuji was too hyper-focused to look up. "Ryuji, listen to me!"
"Shut up Cloud, I'm trying to win here!" Ryuji snapped, still delusional in thinking that he stood a chance against Alex Kidd. "Just because you're not good at rock-paper-scissors..."
"Well, guess what Ryuji? You're not good at it either." Hearing this rocked Ryuji to the core, as the delinquent stopped and looked at Cloud.
"H-How would you know? You've been keeping track of my losses, haven't you?" The fact that you've had so many losses should've been a sign that you should stop, Ryuji.
"I just call it as I see it. And from the looks of it, you probably saw this kid here as easy pickings. Did you not?"
"Okay...maybe I have." Ryuji was feeling bad about himself as he looked down at the floor. "When Pit said that Alex Kidd was a so-called 'rock-paper-scissors' champion, I wanted to prove that title was a fluke."
"And you saw that title wasn't a fluke, did you? I think you should apologize to Alex Kidd."
"Yeah...turns out he's really good, after all." Having a change of heart, Ryuji looked at Alex Kidd with an apologetic face. "I'm sorry for ever doubting you, Alex Kidd. Guess you really are a rock-paper-scissors champion."
"Happy to see you acknowledge me," smiled Alex Kidd, as Ryuji smiled in return. Took Ryuji long enough to acknowledge Alex Kidd's greatness.
Ryuji: So I may not be a champ at rock-paper-scissors...but there's still time for me to be the champion of thumb wrestling! *points his thumbs at himself*
"Nice job, Mr. Former Man of the Mansion," Tifa commended Cloud, smiling as he patted the swordsman on his back. "Looks like you still got it..."
"I guess I do..." shrugged Cloud, although he didn't feel like he did that much. He was just trying to maintain the peace.
Once the golf escapades were over, Toad took everyone back home on his bus. Rex's golf match with Chrom ended prematurely, and even though Waluigi no longer had his sticker book, the lanky man had one sticker that he kept in his pocket. He wanted Rex to give it to Chrom, as an apology gift.
"'I a-paw-logize'?" Chrom read the sticker that Rex handed to him on the bus. The prince didn't know what unnerved him the most - Rex of all people giving him a sticker, or the sticker itself.
"I'm sorry, Chrom - I used those Minish people to cheat," Rex admitted to the prince, as he owned up to his cheating ways. Way to be the bigger man. "You totally would have beat me, fair and square."
"You're just lucky this sticker looks fantastic on me." Chrom placed the sticker on his chest, thinking that it looked nice on him. Lucina thought otherwise. "Also, you've had my number in the past, so even if we both played fair...I still think that you would've beat me."
"Haha, true dat. So I guess this means that we're friends now, right?" Rex held out his hand to Chrom, desiring to make a truce with the prince.
"I suppose so." Chrom gleefully shook hands with Rex, as Heihachi and Kazuya looked over with skeptical glances. Neither Mishima believed that they could make a truce as Rex and Chrom had done...and their body language was nigh apparent to Mario and Luigi.
"Some 'common enemy' you were supposed-a to be..." Mario muttered to Slippy, who looked around wondering what he did wrong.
Rex was able to make peace with Waluigi and now Chrom...so what was stopping Heihachi and Kazuya from doing the same with each other?