Author's Note:
Another wedding chapter, and this time...it's a two-parter! Muhahahaha. Not only is the wedding big, but the build-up leading to it is big as well. before we get to the fun stuff...guest reviews:
"Just a reminder that the new NHL season is starting this Tuesday. Any plans for a Seattle Kraken episode?"
Watched the opening day games...still feels weird to see hockey on ESPN and TNT. But I do have plans for a Seattle Kraken episode. Another anonymous review:
"I think the reason why Crash is not in Smash yet, is because he's owned by Activision Blizzard, and you do know what a crappy video game company they were, judging from what recently happened. I've heard someone said that Sony actually wanted Crash for PS All-Stars, but apparently, Activision was too greedy, and they refused to give them Crash. I guess the same crap happened with Crash on Smash, that's why we got Sora, a better pick."
Wouldn't be surprised if Activision might've hampered Crash's chances of being in Smash. Was hoping for at least a Mii costume, but it's all good. One last anonymous review:
"I know what to do about the Crash clan. How about you have them have their own home, near the mansion vicinity? Like you did with Rayman and E. Gadd?"
That would be a pretty good compromise. Moving on to The Reader:
"Huh. If Sora gets younger, Red and Leaf should be younger, too! And so does Marlene! Can't wait for that. Still felt awkward seeing an adult Marlene."
Red, Leaf, and Marlene will be young again after the wedding. Now I won't feel so bad about making Marlene an adult...David's got questions:
"Now that Sora is a Smash Mansion resident, will Roxas, Namine, Xion, and Lea (formerly Axel) show up? Are Sora, Kairi, and Riku wearing their outfits from the third game? Will Yozora be mentioned as well? Do you think TIME TO GO's hate for the non-Smash residents might get to the point that he'll want them killed off? And finally, do you think MercurySteam redeemed themselves with Metroid: Samus Returns and Metroid Dread? (After they made the divisive Castlevania: Lords of Shadows games)."
Yes, and maybe a few others. All three are wearing their KH3 outfits. Yozora might get a small mention. I would never, EVER, have any non-Smash residents killed. Ever. And I think that MercurySteam redeemed themselves well with those Metroid games. They still have a chance to redeem themselves with Castlevania, though. An NFL fan has a question about a certain Pro Bowl quarterback:
"Since Russell Wilson is now injured and can't play for a while, can we see Carrington appear again as Master Hand's "favorite" athlete, instead of Wayne?"
Hehehe...that would be a very Master Hand thing to do. Carrington is gonna have no idea what he got himself into...
Episode 304: Hyrule Part 1
Link and Zelda's wedding has been one of the most anticipated events in recent memory. For years, Link and Zelda have been showing a lot of love towards each other as they advanced through their relationship. There have been some highs, and some lows, but the two Hylians pulled through along the way.
And now, the wedding that everyone and their mother has been waiting for was finally about to happen. The wedding wouldn't take place anywhere in Seattle, but rather at Hyrule - at the Temple of Hylia, to be exact. In essence, it was a perfect venue for two Hylians to get married at.
Given that the wedding was going to be at Hyrule, Mega Man and friends obviously had to do a lot of runs with the teleportation device to get the wedding guests to Hyrule. Not a hassle for them, given that they had to do the same thing with Fox and Krystal's wedding. So until the device got booted up, Mario wanted to present something to the soon-to-be newlyweds.
"What do you think?" Mario asked Link and Zelda, as he showed them a decorated car with the words "Just Got Married" on the back window. It was his own car, mind you. "I spent all morning on it."
"It is really special," replied Link, as this was perhaps the nicest thing that he could say about the decorated car.
"Yeah, but aren't you supposed to do that to our..." Zelda was about to say, before catching herself as she chose to let Mario be great. "...no. It's great."
"It's just a really important day for me," stated Mario, unable to hold in his emotions as he shed a tear. The plumber has waited far too long to see Link and Zelda finally tie the knot.
"Well, congrats," Link congratulated Mario as he shook hands with the plumber. Given where he and Zelda were going, Link wouldn't even need to drive in Mario's car.
Mario: Words cannot begin-a to describe how happy I am to see Link and-a Zelda get married. It's almost like watching my kids-a grow up, and then they marry each-a other. *sniffs* It's every parent's dream-a come true...
After Mario and Link shook hands, the two men looked shook when they saw a UFO slowly descend to the mansion grounds. Zelda, on the other hand, looked as cool as the other side of the pillow as the UFO hatch opened up, revealing Gex.
"Here I am, for the big wedding!" exclaimed Gex as he held his arms out to the heavens, letting the whole world see how cool and awesome he was. "This is gonna be like Charlize Theron at Keanu Reeves' house."
"You added HIM to your guest-a list?" Mario asked Link and Zelda inquisitively as he pointed at Gex. Link, out of the loop, looked at Zelda as he wanted some answers.
"Not quite," answered Zelda, as Gex was kicked out of the UFO. The person that kicked him was Reno, who exited the UFO along with Rude and Elena.
"Must you always be such a glory hog?" Reno frowned at Gex, who got a face full of dirt as he wiped the mud off his face. "We have no time for your crappy introductions."
"Excuse me for adding a little 'pizzazz'..." retorted Gex as he stood up and dusted himself off, as the Turks approached Mario and company. Mario and Link were both on edge.
"Good afternoon," Rude greeted Mario and company, with Mario expecting either one of Link and Zelda to tell the Turks off. "Have we arrived on time?"
"Yes you have," replied Zelda, as Mario and Link both looked at the princess at the same time with the same surprised faces. "We're going to teleport everyone to Hyrule soon."
"Good thing we came on a Thursday," commented Elena, before looking over and seeing how decked out Mario's car was. "Nice decorations, by the way."
"Do you three mind?" Mario asked the Turks, who gave the plumber permission to go away momentarily with Link and Zelda so he could speak with the Hylians in private. "Zelda, why are the Turks-a here?"
"They're going to be on the lookout for any potential threats, before or during the wedding," Zelda whispered to Mario, who didn't think of the Turks as a great choice. No matter how good they were at their jobs. "Something about Zant."
"That guy?" asked Link, feeling the need to bring his trusty Hookshot just in case. "Thought we had seen the last of him ever that whole treaty fiasco."
"Well, the Turks mentioned that Zant might be coming back soon, so they'll hopefully take care of the issue. We can't afford any problems."
"Hm...I guess-a you're right," said Mario, before he and the Hylian couple dispersed as they reconvened with the Turks. "Alright Turks, I suppose-a you four are formally invited. You too, Gex."
"As expected," smirked Reno, as he beat his nightstick in the palm of his hand. Suddenly, an Egg Mobile came down from the sky, landing right next to the UFO. That could only mean one thing...
"Link and Zelda...guess who?" asked the mad scientist that piloted the Egg Mobile, who was accompanied by his robot lackeys Orbot and Cubot. It was none other than Dr. Eggman, who was dripped out from head to toe.
"I was hoping he wouldn't come back..." grumbled Link, as he and Zelda knew exactly what Eggman came to the mansion for. "...get lost, Eggman."
"That's Dr. Drip to you!" Eggman shook his fist at Link as he hopped out of the Egg Mobile; Orbot and Cubot had to help him get down, much to his chagrin. "Also, you dare disrespect your wedding officiant this way?"
"You named that fat oaf your wedding officiant?" Elena concerningly asked Link and Zelda, as Eggman wishing that he could slap the female Turk. Even though he was a villain, Eggman still had some dignity (unlike Kazuya).
"He's not their officiant...I am!" proclaimed Falco as he showed up at the scene, letting the Turks know who the man was as he pointed at himself. "You still owe me a chance, Link and Zelda."
"We don't owe you a thing," Link said to Falco, insulting the avian pilot; Falco had nothing to guilt trip Link this time. "Isn't that right, Zelda?"
"Yes, and besides, Ganondorf is going to officiate our wedding..." stated Zelda, before realizing the very words that came out of her mouth as she buried her face in her hands. "...why did I even say that?"
"Wow - talk about straight-up homicide," Rude had this to say about Ganondorf officiating Link and Zelda's wedding, almost finding enough energy to crack a smile. Which would be a big deal for him. "Certainly aren't doing yourself favors with that one."
"Link, am I still the fill-in officiant?" Pac-Man asked the Hylian, as he came running from his house to ask his question. "I complete the training course for the wedding officiant and everything!"
"No need to fill in, Pac-Man - the real wedding officiant is here," Eggman informed the eater of ghosts, before displaying the heavy amount of drip that was radiating off his body. "But hey, you can always officiate your son's wedding when he's all grown up!"
"Why would a dad officiate his own child's wedding?" questioned Orbot, causing Eggman to frown and bonk the robot on his head. "Sorry for my curiosity..."
Eggman: Metal Sonic was originally my plus-one for the wedding, but since he still has a fetish for killing Sonic, I was forced to bring Orbot and Cubot instead. Two headaches for the price of one.
"Honestly, I would rather have Pac-Man over Falco, Eggman, and Ganondorf," preferred Zelda, making Pac-Man smile with joy while Falco and Eggman's mouths went agape. "You can't go wrong with him."
"Pfft, Pac-Man doesn't even have half the pedigree or talent to be a good officiant, compared to me," snorted Falco, putting down Pac-Man while propping his own self up. It was getting real feisty right now.
"You wanna talk about pedigree or talent?" Eggman confronted Falco as he got up in the avian pilot's grill, letting him know who was in charge. "I have both of those qualities in spades! Back to the line, you poser!"
"Can you both cut it out, please?!" Mario pleaded to Eggman and Falco as he stepped in between the two, ending their argument before it could get really out of hand. "As of right-a now, Ganondorf's the officiant. If he nopes-a out of it, Link and Zelda will-a make their decision."
"I'm fine with that," Pac-Man offered his two cents, knowing that he would get to officiate the wedding eventually. Eggman and Falco weren't exactly fine with the terms themselves, as they both sulked.
"We'll just have to see about that..." muttered Eggman, as he and Falco both went their separate ways. Reno was about to ask Link and Zelda a question about their wedding until he heard his phone ring.
"Pardon me..." Reno said to everyone as he took out his phone and walked away, standing behind a tree where he could conduct his phone call privately. "...hey boss! ...yeah, we're in Seattle right now. About to head over to Hyrule real soon...yeah, got it. I'll keep you posted, alright? ...cool. Later."
Link and Zelda's wedding was somewhat of a two-day affair - everyone would arrive in Hyrule today, and then attend the wedding the next day. The documentary crew had never experienced anything like this during their filming, but at least most of the members canceled their weekend plans. Some more begrudgingly than others.
Since the mansion and tower would be mostly unoccupied for the next two days, someone would have to leave behind a voice message for any potential callers. That someone would be Isabelle, who was leaving behind a message on the mansion's house phone.
"The Smash Mansion and Assist Tower will be closed today and Friday for a wedding in Hyrule," Isabelle spoke into the phone, as Researcher Zelda passed through the foyer with a big smile on her face. "So, please leave a message and we'll get back to you as soon as possible. Have a great day!"
Isabelle ended the message as she hung the phone up, and as she turned around...she suddenly ran into the Doom Slayer. The Doom Slayer was peering down at Isabelle, who wasn't afraid in the slightest.
Isabelle: Some of the residents are still having a hard time coming around with the Doom Slayer - Corrin, in particular, has been hiding in the bathroom more than usual this week. But I like to think that I have gotten along with the Doom Slayer quite well. Even if he's a bit too touchy for my own liking.
"Are you excited about the wedding, Doom Slayer?" Isabelle asked the marine, who responded by petting the Shih Tzu on her head. "I'll take that as a yes!"
"Done relaying the message, Isabelle?" asked Master Hand as he floated inside the foyer, only to be delighted when he saw Isabelle and the Doom Slayer interacting with one another. The giant hand laughed in a way that would make Pepe Le Pew proud. "Oh ho ho! Is this a love connection I spy?"
"L-Love connection?!" a very flustered Isabelle stammered, very embarrassed that Master Hand would even think of such a thing. "Are you out of your mind, Master Hand?"
"I call it as I see it...and besides, I can see the potential." Master Hand floated away, as Isabelle became flustered to the point of fainting unto the floor. The Doom Slayer picked up Isabelle and carried her away.
Mega Man and the boys still had yet to get the teleportation device up and running, which meant that Link and Zelda still had enough time for an emergency meeting - but with only a couple of select residents. One of those attending the meeting was an outsider - Master Kohga, who wished to "represent" the Yiga Clan well at the wedding.
"Believe it or not, Master Kohga, firecrackers are in the 'Don't' column," Link said to the clan leader, as he and Zelda were standing in front of a whiteboard that had two columns - the "Do's" and the "Don'ts". Link wrote firecrackers under the "Don'ts" column.
"So...you're going to provide them, then?" inquired Master Kohga, who wished to end Link and Zelda's wedding in style. If the wedding ended with chaos, then Kohga was completely fine with that, too.
"No. This is a fire cracker-free wedding." Obviously not a big fan of the decision, Master Kohga angrily slammed his fists on the meeting room table.
"Come on! You've got to be kidding me," complained Bomberman, who was in the same camp as Master Kohga. If there was no fireworks display, Bomberman might as well boycott the wedding.
"All of these things are important to remember but the most important thing is no one say anything major at the wedding," Zelda addressed everyone in the meeting room, wanting the wedding ceremony to go decently and without any trouble.
"Absolutely, like announcing that you're pregnant for instance," Link provided an example, hoping that nobody in the meeting room was pregnant. A good thing that there were mostly dudes present. "Because you let that leak out and some people may be offended."
"Decent people everywhere will get offended if premarital sex was involved," stated Simon, who heavily considered himself to be among those decent people. Also considered Richter decent - most of the time.
"...well, if someone was pregnant from premarital sex and wanted to announce it to the world, then think about the other person," stated Zelda; whoever was bold enough to announce something like that during a wedding would get a good taste of Simon's whip. "Like a grandmother who is very old-fashioned."
"Some people are lucky to have a grandmother," said Bayonetta, who was coming off as somewhat bitter. "Some of us have to be our own grandmothers..."
"You know, Bayonetta, you don't have to come to the wedding," Zelda said to the Umbra Witch; Bayonetta not attending the wedding would at least save some unfortunate fool from being seduced.
"Yes, she does. Yes she does," smiled Captain Falcon, trying to liven up the mood as he stood up from his seat. "We're all gonna go and we're gonna have a good time!" The racer went over to hug Bayonetta, and he hugged her real tight.
"Ow! He pinched me!" Bayonetta winced in pain, as she pushed Captain Falcon away from her. "Get off!"
"Next time we're all in this room Link and I will be married," proclaimed Zelda, smiling as she looked lovingly into Link's eyes. Link smiled in return, as Ganondorf rolled his eyes.
"We'll see about that..." grumbled Ganondorf, resting his chin on his left knuckle as he was on the verge of throwing up. Link and Zelda acting so lovey-dovey made the demon lord sick - almost makes one wonder how he would handle himself standing at the altar.
"Thank you, Ganondorf," Zelda sarcastically thanked the demon lord, before looking out the meeting room and seeing Mega Man beckoning to her and Link. "Oh, looks like Mega Man wants us. Cloud, can you take over while we're gone?"
"Uh, sure," volunteered Cloud, with Link and Zelda exiting the meeting room as the swordsman stood in their spot. "Just a heads up for everyone - don't be an embarrassment when we go to Hyrule."
"What happens in Hyrule, stays in Hyrule!" exclaimed Sora, before laughing at his own joke. Bowser was apparently offended by the joke, as he looked up at Sora and glared at the Keyblade wielder.
"Don't. Don't. Don't," Bowser shook his head multiple times at Sora, making him feel some type of way. "You stole my joke. Don't steal my joke."
"No...I didn't steal your joke."
"Yes. I said that yesterday."
"But you can say that about anything," stated Pit, as the meeting was starting to go off the rails. Can't say that Cloud didn't see it coming. "What happens in Smash, stays in Smash!"
"Oh yeah! Right on, Pit!" exclaimed Ken Masters, a huge fan of the example the angel had used as he gave him a thumbs up.
"No, no, NO!" boomed Bowser, fearing that his comedic material (which was pretty lame, in a sense) was being stolen without any sort of permission. "Please, please. Pit, that's my joke."
"It's easy, that's what I'm saying," stated Pit as he shrugged his shoulders, only for Bowser to go in a rage and grab the angel by his neck. At this point, the meeting had gone from zero to a hundred.
"This is what I'm talking about," shouted Cloud, commanding everyone's attention as Bowser was seconds away from strangling Pit. "When we leave here and go to Hyrule we are representing the Smash Mansion, everyone. This is a very important wedding for everyone involved. The most important wedding yet."
"The most important wedding until I get married," smirked King Dedede, fancying himself as the next resident in line to get married. Cloud and pretty much everyone else doubted the fat penguin's chances.
"...yeah, whatever. So, I want you all on your best behavior or so help me, God."
Bowser: Zelda and Link's wedding will be the single best pick-up destination in the history of the universe.
The wedding guests were going to be staying at a hotel, so Mario was at home packing up a few belongings in the living room. As he did so, Hunter came inside the house through the front door with a certain book.
"Pretty hefty book you got there," Spyro said to Hunter from the living room sofa, wondering how much of the book his friend skimmed through. Probably the whole dang thing. "Where'd you get it from?"
"I stole this tome from Impa's shrine, and I saw the guest list inside," explained Hunter as he laid the book - the Hyrulain tome - out open on the living room table, with the guest list in the middle of the tome. "Went through the list, and saw every female on both sides of the family."
"Get out of here..." Spyro was left appalled at just how shameful Hunter was, while Mario stared at the cheetah out of disbelief.
"Hunter, you do realize-a that Link and Zelda virtually have no family, right?" Mario asked the cheetah, who was flipping through the pages of the tome. There was a reason why Link and Zelda had to seek out parental substitutes.
"For instance, there's this chick, named Princess Hilda," Hunter showed Mario and Spyro a picture of Princess Hilda in the Hyrulian tome, although neither one of them seemed to care as much. "She could be a long-distant cousin of Zelda."
"She looks more like Researcher Zelda to me," commented Spyro, wondering why he was even offering two cents on a subject he did not care for. Might as well keep the train rolling. "Uh, anything interesting that you learned about her?"
"Well...according to this excerpt on her, she's the princess of Lorule and she has telepathic powers. She and Lucas might be good friends."
"Is that all you have-a on her?" Mario asked Hunter, who furrowed his brow as he flipped through the pages of the tome.
"For what it's worth...Hilda isn't a very common name. She must feel very unique."
"Hunter, I've been meaning to say this for a long time now, but..." Spyro said to the cheetah, having something he wanted to get off his chest as Hunter was all ears. "...you're an idiot."
Dr. Wily: People don't think of me as one of the sharper dressers in the tower...but I'm going to turn that around at this wedding. I thought, how could I take it to the next level? *points at head* The hair.
Zero: *from afar* Dr. Wily? Are you coming, or what?
Dr. Wright: *pats his head delicately* It's the hair...
Zero: *from afar* Dr. Wily, I'm not gonna ask you again! Today would be nice, you know!
Dr. Wily: Okay, okay! I'm coming. *sighs* My goodness...
Cortex refused to go to Hyrule empty-handed - and empty-handed, in this case, meant just tagging along with the annoying Uka. So the evil genius went to the tower, hoping that a certain Manakete could be his plus-one.
"Salutations, Tiki!" Cortex greeted the Manakete, who just so happened to be standing at the front door that was opened by Phosphora. "Do you mind coming with me to Hyrule?"
"Ha! As if!" snorted Phosphora, as she wondered why Cortex tried so much. "Tiki would much rather be dead than to be seen with you. Right, Tiki?"
"I wouldn't mind going with you, Cortex," replied Tiki, stepping out of the tower as Phosphora looked at the Manakete out of shock. Uka, who was floating behind Cortex, had made that same face so many times before.
"Excellent choice, my dear!" exclaimed Cortex, taking Tiki's hand as he walked away hand-in-hand with the Manakete. Phosphora was on the verge of vomiting, which Uka could heavily relate to.
Cortex: Not only is Tiki really sweet and cute…she smells like my mom. In a way, that would explain why I was as attracted to my mom as...no, wait, I didn't mean it like that!
Mega Man and friends were almost done getting the teleportation device up and working, and they were ready to teleport everyone to Hyrule. By virtue of being married soon, Link and Zelda were among the first set to make their arrival.
"Hey, Lakitu told me something neat," Zelda said to Link, as the two Hylians sat outside the teleportation room chit-chatting with one another. "He said everything with the wedding goes by so fast we should try to take mental pictures of the high points."
"Oh, wow. That's cool," remarked Link, before taking out an imaginary camera and aimed it at Zelda. "Click!" Link took the imaginary picture and looked at the result - which he was not a fan of. "Oh, you blinked. Darn it. Now that's in my brain forever. Lousy picture."
"We should have hired a professional to take our mental pictures." That would be fine and dandy, but...what would the pay even be like?
Before he could head to Hyrule for the wedding, Dante first had to get his nap in. Can't be restless during the ceremony. The vigilante was in his room sleeping, with sunglasses over his eyes, when King Dedede came inside his room. Dedede shook Dante, waking him up in a hurry.
"Woah!" exclaimed Dante as he flailed on the bed, before sitting up and taking his glasses off. "Oh. Sorry, I was asleep. Those glasses are super dark."
"I made you a CD," King Dedede said to Dante, as he presented a homemade CD to the vigilante. Dante took the CD, checking out the front and the back for any suspicious signs.
"That was nice of you. What exactly was the motive behind this...CD?"
"I went through the footage and saw that you wanted to do better in your life. And that's where I come in!"
"Footage? What footage? You don't mean..." Dante suddenly recalled his talking head confessional from episode 301 and then facepalmed. "...aw man."
"Anyway, this is to play when you bring a woman back to your hotel room."
"Oh, very thoughtful. A little mix to set the mood. Delightful. Pop that sucker in."
"You're gonna like this." King Dedede had a cheesy grin as he grabbed the CD from Dante and took out a CD player. The penguin inserted the CD, and pressed the play button.
"Hello. This is King Dedede," King Dedede's voice played from the CD player, sounding like a well-refined narrator. "If you are listening to this you are a lucky woman Dante has seduced. Ah, to be in your shoes. 'What's next?', you're probably wondering. Don't be scared of you're night in heaven..."
"Are you serious?" Dante frowned as he angrily turned off the CD player. "You want me to play that for a woman coming to my room?
"Yeah, it's practical," replied King Dedede, believing that the CD would guarantee high success for Dante. Maybe not so much for anyone else.
"No. No. That's not how it works. It would only get me in a lot of trouble."
As Mega Man and company were almost done, guests were showing up en masse. Among those was Phoenix Wright, who was reunited with an old friend of his upon exiting B.D. Joe's taxi with his daughter Trucy.
"Phoenix!" screamed Phoenix's former assistant, Maya Fey, as she ran up to the former attorney and gave him a hug. "I can't believe you made it!"
"Likewise, Maya, likewise," smiled Phoenix, more than happy to see his friend again. He was bound to send Link and Zelda a thank you note soon. "Glad that you're taking a break from your medium training or whatever."
"I told you already, Phoenix...I'm a Master now," Maya clarified to Phoenix before her attention was suddenly drawn to Trucy. "Is this your daughter?"
"Oh, you mean Trucy? Yeah, I adopted her and took her under my wing. She's the CEO of her own talent agency! Can you believe it?"
"Cheers, love - the cavalry's here!" announced a certain pilot, as Overwatch's Tracer made her grand appearance by zipping to the mansion. Then Mercy flew down and landed next to Tracer, while Genji hopped down from...well, somewhere. Rounding out the entrance was Winston, who accidentally landed on B.D. Joe's taxi.
"Excuse me for dropping in, hehe," Winston sheepishly chuckled, as B.D. Joe was fortunate to jump out of the taxi before it was totaled.
"C'mon man, I just got that new paint job!" B.D. Joe frowned at Winston, who tried to make it up to B.D. Joe by giving him a heartfelt hug. One that almost crushed the taxi driver's lungs.
"Looks like everyone is showing up now," observed Reno as he turned around and saw more and more guests arriving. "We should make our move."
"Might as well," replied Rude, leading the charge as he led Reno and Elena to the mansion. The Turks, as they headed inside, failed to notice a certain black portal up in the sky...
Once all the guests had arrived, it was time for Mega Man and the boys to teleport everyone to Hyrule. Due to how many folks were present, several trips had to be done. Zelda and Link, being the bride and groom, were part of the first group.
"Are you sure this is Hyrule?" asked one of the members of the first traveling party, Cranky Kong, as the group arrived at Hyrule. "Don't tell me the author goofed up!"
"This is Hyrule," confirmed Mega Man, as the group was in some sort of town. "I was told to send the coordinates to wherever the Temple of Hylia would be. We're in Hyrule Town."
"Correct - and that building is where we'll be staying for the night," said Link as he pointed at a tall building in the distance that looked medieval and fancy. "Don't worry about the reservations, we had it covered..."
Link: Hyrule Town is like a spiritual experience for people. Some stay in tents near the falls and it blows their minds. This part of Hyrule that we're in is really kitschy, which is a lot of fun.
People were entering the hotel, confirming their room reservations - and Hylia knows that Link and Zelda had made plenty, given the number of folks that would be attending their wedding. Speaking of Link and Zelda, the two Hylians went up to the front desk in the lobby, where the Hylian clerk awaited.
"Ah, if it isn't the hero of Hyrule himself," the clerk said, her face lighting up when Link approached the front desk along with Zelda. Wasn't often that a Link checked into a Hylian hotel.
"And Princess Zelda," said Link as he wrapped his arm around Zelda, hoping that the clerk would acknowledge his fiancee. "Tonight we're in two separate rooms and tomorrow night is the honeymoon suite."
"Great!" The clerk took out a reservation book, looking to see if Link and Zelda's reservation was in. Everything about the hotel was old-fashioned - no computer for the clerk to access.
"I know. We're pretty excited, too." Link had a big smile on his face ever since he entered the hotel, and it was hard for him to wipe it away.
"Can we take a look at the suite now?" Zelda asked the clerk, who frowned when she saw something in the reservation book.
"Oh, I'm sorry," the clerk apologized to Link and Zelda, leaving the Hylian couple to wonder what the problem was. "Somebody just checked in."
"Oh...is there another wedding at the hotel this weekend?"
"Oh, no. Just an individual. That man over there."
"Hey - I got the room the night before you guys," Cortex said to Link and Zelda, as he held up his reservation. "I'll break in the bed." Cortex laughed manically, as he walked away.
"I don't like that," remarked Link, baffled as to how Cortex got the room. That evil genius must've done some finessing beforehand.
"I'm going to need the name of the housekeeper responsible for changing the sheets, please," Zelda requested to the clerk, having some understandable concerns about Cortex.
While everyone was checking into the hotel, one person that chose not to do so was Ganondorf. The demon lord was still ticked about being the wedding officiant and wanted some way out of the job.
"Well, Ganondorf, looks like you're stuck here..." Ganondorf said to himself, arms folded as he stood under a tree, as Orbot and Cubot slowly crept up on the demon lord. "...only the pets can stay behind, apparently."
"We don't mean to be a bother, but we hear that you're in a bad mood," Orbot approached Ganondorf, fingers crossed that he wouldn't receive a Warlock Punch. If Cubot got one instead, he'd but totally fine with it.
"You're right I'm in a bad mood. Link expects me to officiate his wedding. Me! Is he just going to ignore our strife towards each other like that?"
"Y'know, you don't have to be the officiant," Cubot enticed Ganondorf as he rested his elbow on the demon lord's shoulder - which was like playing with fire. "Just let Dr. Eggman take your spot instead!"
"Let Dr. Eggman take my spot..." Ganondorf was heavily interested in the idea, as he smiled and scratched his chin. "...now that's something I could get behind."
The Ice Climbers, Popo and Nana, were ready to check into their room as they went to the front desk. Due to how small they were, Nana had to prop Popo over her head just so that he could see the front desk clerk face-to-face
"Hello," Popo greeted the clerk, with Nana struggling to keep her balance as she held Popo's feet with both hands. "Reservation for Popo and Nana."
"One moment while I check," the clerk replied as she went through the reservation book, searching high and low for Popo and Nana's names. "I'm sorry, sir, but I'm not seeing you in here. When did you make your reservation?"
"We don't have a reservation but we want a room in the Link and Zelda block of rooms."
"Oh, okay. Unfortunately, sir, the block only applies to the rate. I'm afraid we're all sold out."
"Kazuya Mishima," Kazuya said to the clerk as he approached the desk, with Nana moving out of the businessman's way. "I believe I have a reservation. Confirmation number: Romeo. Tango. G7745."
"Let me see..." The clerk went through the reservation book, and her eyes went wide when she saw Kazuya's name. "Yes. Mishima! "Here's your key." The clerk handed Kazuya a key, and Popo's mouth went agape as Kazuya walked away.
"Hurry, Nana..." Popo whispered to the Ice Climber, who carried Popo over to Kazuya. Kazuya stopped as soon as he saw the Ice Climbers drawing near. "Kazuya, I need to stay in your room."
"Absolutely not. Heihachi and I will be sharing the room together."
"I'm staying in your...come on, Kazuya. I would do the same for you."
"You would?" For a second, it looked like Kazuya was about to believe Popo - and then something miraculous happened. "Wait a second. Oh. No, no, no. This must be some kind of mistake. This reservation seems to be under the Ice Climbers. This must be yours.
"Oh. Thank goodness..." Popo sighed in relief, as Kazuya handed the reservation to Popo.
"Oh no. Now that my father and I don't have a room, can we stay with you?"
"Um...no. And you know what? I would say yes but you can't. And I'll tell you why. Nana is going to get turned off if she looks in the bathroom and sees Heihachi brushing his teeth with butter and clay."
"That's...not entirely true," stated Nana, as Kazuya tapped his chin taking into account the info Popo passed on to him.
"Very well then..." replied Kazuya, seemingly making his mind up...before ripping the reservation out of Popo's hand. "...haha! That was a test. You have failed. For this is my room. You and Nana would not share with me and my father."
"I don't have a room?" asked Popo, as he had felt betrayed beyond relief. Perhaps he should've seen it coming, given who he was dealing with. "Ooh, this must be some kind of 'you must pass the dungeon wisdom test.'"
"Not in the slightest...but if it was, then it worked to perfection." Kazuya let out an evil laugh as he walked away, with the Ice Climbers left without a room.
Popo: When Mary was denied a room at the inn...Jesus was born. When Popo was denied a room at the inn, we don't know what happens because that story hasn't been told yet.
Kazuya: Popo still has a lot to learn, I see. Now that his ice cream business is now essentially over, he wants to be my friend! I know what he's trying to pull, but I don't let him pull any tricks.
"Mr. and Mrs. McCloud," Fox said to the clerk at the front desk, as he and Krystal were now checking in. Popo motioned Nana to carry him over to Fox and Krystal, and Nana did as she was commanded to.
"Hey, Fox!" Popo called out to the pilot, who had just received his reservation and key from the clerk. "Can I stay in your room tonight?"
"Are you crazy?" Fox questioned Popo, before bringing the Ice Climber's attention to Krystal. "I brought Krystal with me."
"Not in the same bed. In the other bed."
"I got one queen-size bed."
"You...are...kidding me."
"A queen size bed is five feet wide. I am not five feet wide, dude."
"I'm not a physics major, Fox. I'm just saying be careful." As Fox walked away with Krystal, Popo saw the RWBY gang show up. Popo motioned Nana to take him over to Ruby, Weiss, Blake, and Yang. "Hey, guys. Hey. Could I stay in your room tonight?
"Ew, gross!" grimaced Weiss; she didn't mind Nana staying with her, but Popo was a definite hard pass.
"Blow my brains out," mumbled Blake, as she and her friends retreated from Popo. Desperation time was at an all-time high.
"Popo, Nana, I have one extra twin bed, if you want," Waluigi offered to the Ice Climbers, seeing the trouble that the duo was in. Popo just looked at Waluigi with a face of revulsion.
"You are going to be sleeping by yourself for the rest of your life, so you just get used to it," retorted Popo, throwing shade at Waluigi as he instructed Nana to take him away from the lanky man. Waluigi snapped his fingers in disgust.
Because it was a Link and Zelda wedding, there was bound to be plenty of folks from across the Zelda timeline attending the wedding ceremony. All of these folks were at the hotel right now, and Mario was feigning to meet some of them in person. Impa brought the plumber to the room where Link, Zelda, and their "parents" were.
"So, which one is supposed-a to be Zelda's 'mom'?" Mario asked Impa and Midna, as he saw Zelda chatting with two other Zeldas. One was Commander Zelda, and the other was a Zelda with blonde bangs.
"The one with the bangs - her name's Skyward Zelda," explained Midna, who had hoped that the answer was super obvious to Mario. "She's the very first incarnation of Hylia."
"Personally, I don't buy it. Shouldn't all-a Zelda incarnations be brunettes? This Skyward Zelda looks-a like a poser."
"Toon Link has blonde hair, yet I don't hear you complaining about him..." remarked Impa, as two of her closest confidants came over - Lana and Linkle. Quite frankly, the two ladies hadn't seen Mario - and Impa as well - in over a year.
"Impa, you made it!" squealed Lana s she and Linkle ran over to the Sheikah, before noticing that Mario was with her. "And Mario made it too!"
"I hope I would make it...I am Zelda's maid of honor, after all," stated Impa, as Lana and Linkle were both enthralled. A part of them also felt jealous. "Could've brought you two along for the ride, but you would've been dead weight..."
"Ain't that the truth," remarked Mario, only for Lana and Linkle to come over and squeeze the plumber's head, much to his annoyance. "Cut-a that out! I may be a special attraction, but not-a to that extent!"
"Aw, you're just as cute and short as we remember!" Linkle said to Mario, as Lana now pulling on the plumber's nose. She liked how much Mario's nose wiggled after letting go. "Do you ever get any taller?"
"So much royalty in one room..." Master Hand sighed in happiness, as he and Dante entered the room. The four Champions and many incarnations of Link and Zelda were all present - some great company to be in. "...it brings a tear to my eye."
"Who's doing a toast?" inquired Dante as he rubbed his hands together, as Link caught wind of the vigilante's question. "I wouldn't mind going third. Sort of bat clean up and..."
"Uh, about that...Zelda and I discussed that none of the wedding guests speak, like at all," Link went over to inform the vigilante, who was totally not fine with those terms. "Because it's just going to be the incarnations, I think."
"That is seriously going to impede my ability to hook up with one of the Zeldas," Dante spoke quietly to Link while trying not to move his lips.
"Pretty sure everyone heard that."
"Didn't move my lips."
Falco was confident about his chances of being a wedding officiant, knowing that Ganondorf's status was still up in the air. To get himself ready for the potential job, Falco was trying out his new suit in front of the mirror.
"Very dashing, Mr. Lombardi...super suave," gleamed Falco, before clicking his fingers at himself in the mirror. The avian pilot then adjusted his tie, before hearing a conversation outside his room.
"I'll take over the reins for you, while you just sit back and relax," Eggman was heard discussing with someone, as Falco took a peek through his door. In the hallway, he saw Eggman speaking with Ganondorf, while Orbot and Cubot stood around.
"I cannot thank you enough for this, Dr. Eggman," Ganondorf said to the mad scientist as he shook his head, while Falco looked on with his mouth agape. "I'll let the bride and groom know about our decision at the earliest convenience."
"That written little..." seethed Falco, before catching himself as he went back inside his room and slammed his door shut. It was getting personal.
All the wedding guests (save for a few) met in the package room of the hotel, for the pre-wedding dinner. Among those in attendance were the buddy cops, Toon Link and Young Link, with the latter showing off his police badges to one of his good friends - Toon Zelda.
"This is the badge I earned for solving the mystery of Byleth and Beleth's disappearance," Toon Link showed off a police badge to Toon Zelda, very proud as his face was beaming with joy. "Earned it from our former sheriff, Cloud Strife."
"That is nice to hear, Toon Link," smiled Toon Zelda, doing her best to care as Toon Link offered the police badge to her. "No thanks, I don't want to touch it."
"Suit yourself...big mistake." Toon Link put the police badge away, expecting Toon Zelda to touch it another time. "But yeah, Hutch and I have been at this police thing for four years now. Haven't missed a beat."
"But we did have a few hiccups along the way," stated Young Link, showing that being a police cop around the mansion wasn't as easy as it seemed. "Most of which were caused by our perpetrators."
"That is such a shame...but nobody's perfect."
"Well...I wouldn't care to live if I thought that."
Elsewhere in the packing room, Link was with a fellow Link incarnation, Skyward Link. The same Link who would serve as his father figure, due to being the first Link incarnation of many. Link and Skyward Link were speaking with King Dedede and his lady friend, Captain Syrup.
"I'd like you to meet Captain Syrup," King Dedede introduced Skyward Link to Captain Syrup, who responded by giving Skyward Link a smile.
"Is this, uh, is this a good friend of yours?" asked Skyward Link; he had known King Dedede for only twenty seconds, and even he knew that Captain Syrup was out of his league.
"No, no...we're dating," smiled Captain Syrup, before giving King Dedede a smooch on his cheek. Skyward Link had to blink twice to make sure that he wasn't seeing things. "We have been going strong for the past couple of weeks or so."
"Hey, Link, can you make room at the head table?" King Dedede requested the Hylian, who was disgusted that someone would have the gall to kiss King Dedede. At least it wasn't on the lips. "For my lady and I?"
"This has got to be a prank," Skyward Link said to Link, who suddenly felt nauseous as he held his hand over his mouth and retreated. Skyward Link followed after the Hylian. "You can't just leave me behind like that!"
Ike wanted to attend the wedding with his main man, Soren, and the swordsman got his wish when Soren accepted his wedding invite. (Something the wind sage imagined that he would regret.) Ike and Soren were hanging out in the packing room when Zelda brought Skyward Zelda over to them.
"Ike, Soren, this is Skyward Zelda," Zelda introduced the princess to the two swordsmen, who both felt honored to meet the OG Zelda. "First-ever incarnation of Hylia herself."
"Pleased to meet you," Soren said to Skyward Zelda as he and Ike shook hands with the princess. As she shook Ike's hand, Skyward Zelda looked at the swordsman all funny.
"I'm sorry, your name is Ike?" Skyward Zelda asked Ike for clarification, as Ike nodded his head. "My bad - got you mixed up with someone else."
"She thought I was your boyfriend," Ike snickered to Soren, expecting the wind sage to laugh along with him. But Soren was in no laughing mood.
"You thought I was dating this?" a highly offended Soren frowned at Skyward Zelda as he pointed at Ike like he was hot garbage. "What on earth is wrong with you?"
"Soren, it was an honest mistake," Zelda did her best to dispel the wind sage's anger, as she had never seen Soren so incensed before.
"Soren, I would be proud to date you," Ike said to Soren as he placed his hand on the wind sage's shoulder, making him even more bothered.
"I'm sorry," Skyward Zelda apologized to Soren, but the sincerity of her apology wasn't enough to lift the wind sage's mood.
"I'm not gay," Ike clarified to Skyward Zelda, attempting to clear up any confusion. "I'm Ike."
"Nice to meet you, Ike," Skyward Zelda smiled in response, as Soren was mean-mugging the princess.
"You owe me an apology," Soren frowned at Skyward Zelda; apparently one apology, no matter how genuine, simply wasn't enough.
"I'm so sorry," Skyward Zelda apologized to Soren a second time, as Soren glared at the princess before walking away.
"Are you seeing anyone right now?" Ike asked Skyward Zelda - wouldn't hurt to have a backup plan, just in case Elincia or even Mia wasn't available.
"She has a boyfriend, over there," replied Zelda as she brought Ike's attention over Skyward Link, who was chatting with a few guests. For Ike, it was a worthy attempt.
Pac-Man planned on being at the wedding dinner, but he was running late - he was too busy looking for his deodorant. As he searched frantically around his room, he suddenly realized...
"Silly me - I don't even use deodorant!" laughed Pac-Man, before slapping his knee as he thought how silly he was. "Or bathe! That bathtub at our house is such a waste."
"Pac-Man, we got some bad news!" Falco informed the eater of ghosts as he ran inside his room, putting his hands on his shoulders. "Ganondorf just forfeited his officiant role to Dr. Eggman!"
"Aw, what?! I was supposed to be next in line!" The fact that Eggman handed the role to Eggman made Pac-Man even more furious. "Those two must definitely be in cahoots."
"True dat - they were scheming, I can tell. We can't let them get away with this, you gotta help me stop this whole charade."
"Okay, but only on one condition." No matter what the terms were, Falco would be all ears. "You gotta let me take the officiant role after we kick those two to the curb."
"Quite a hard bargain you're presenting..." Falco wanted to be the officiant so bad, but in this case, he had to be the bigger man. "...but I'll take your offer."
"I happen to run a cafe at the mansion," Joker said to one of the wedding guests at the table he was sitting at. That guest being Maya Fey. "It's been good business so far."
"Also, his homeroom teacher in high school works as a French maid at night," Bayonetta leaned in to tell Maya, embarrassing Joker as he had the young man sweating and gulping nervously. "Tell her one of your funny maid stories."
"How did Bayonetta get put at the young people's table?" Cortex asked Donkey Kong, as he and the gorilla were seated at a table across from Joker and Bayonetta.
"She probably switched cards with someone," Donkey Kong assumed with a shrug. "Like I did with Tiki." Cortex was ready to punch Donkey Kong in the face the moment he heard that.
"What? You're kidding...that's...you're..." Cortex threw his arms up in defeat, as his plan was foiled by Donkey Kong. So much for some casual conversation with Tiki.
A few tables from where Donkey Kong and Cortex sat was the head table, where Link and Zelda and a few fellow incarnations sat at. Not everyone sitting at the table was a part of Zelda lore - Mario, Peach, Luigi, Daisy, Spyro, Hunter, and even Dante had the pleasure of sitting among such great company.
"Link and Zelda, I can't tell you how happy I am to be here," said the Zora princess, Ruto, as she was speaking to the Hylian couple. Dante was checking out Ruto as he scratched his chin in thought.
"Head-a table, where I belong," remarked Mario, feeling like he was the king of the world. He was bestowed with a power that he never knew existed.
"It's just-a for the 'family,'" Luigi reminded Mario, while also being thankful that Link and Zelda extended the opportunity to him and his brother.
"Psst, who's that one?" Dante whispered to Hunter as he pointed at Ruto. Hunter quickly recognized Ruto from an excerpt about her in the Hyrulian tome.
"Zora, the princess of the Zoras," replied Hunter, who apparently knew a lot about Ruto as he let out a small laugh. "Oh, I've got stuff on her. She has a stone that effectively serves as an engagement ring."
"What am I supposed to do with that?"
"That's a very good stone to have...if you make a move on her."
Choosing to skip out on the dinner was Cloud, who had himself a hefty meal before arriving in Hyrule. The swordsman sat in the lobby area, with Aerith choosing to keep him company.
"It kinda stinks that I have to miss out on the dinner because of you," Aerith said to Cloud, sitting in a chair next to the swordsman while swinging her legs.
"I can do well enough alone, thank you very much," responded Cloud, not wanting Aerith to skip out on some Hyrulian cuisine. Soon Falco and Pac-Man came down the stairs, garnering Cloud and Aerith's attention.
"Have you seen Eggman or Ganon anywhere?" Falco urgently asked Cloud and Aerith, refusing to wait around for a response. Time for him was fleeting.
"I didn't know those two even came along, to be truthfully honest," admitted Aerith, as Falco groaned and took Pac-Man elsewhere. Aerith frowned as she exchanged looks with Cloud. "Did he look a little...frantic to you?"
It was now time for the toasts to begin, and Skyward Link and Champion Link were going over their material. Meanwhile, Mario was looking on.
"Alright, so I'll be like, 'You're so sweet guys and so kind,'" Champion Link discussed with Skyward Link, while Mario was listening to every word.
"That's when I'll do the face, like this, right?" asked Skyward Link, before making a funny face that Mario personally didn't find humorous.
"Like, 'What? What?'. And then we'll just give him a little punch in the back and..."
"A noogie?" A Link incarnation giving another a noogie...Mario did not approve.
"You know what? Never too married for a noogie."
Mario: They have-a hilarious material and they are going to totally deliver it wrong. I would kill-a with the Link stuff. It should be me...up there. It should-a be me and Skyward Link, not two Links together.
Once they went through their material, Champion Link and Skyward Link were ready to start their performance. The two Links stood behind Link and Zelda, ready to deliver.
"Princess Zelda, you've got the greatest smile and your body is really fine," Skyward Link complimented the princess, making her smile and feel good inside. Mario looked on, waiting for either one of the two Links to sputter. "Hoping it'll make our own Zeldas take it up a notch."
"You look absolutely smoking," added Champion Link, as Commander Zelda and Skyward Zelda were looking at their boyfriends with unamused faces. "A little more cardio and any woman would look just like you!"
"That's not appropriate..." Mario shook his head, before grabbing a spoon and tapping it against his glass to command everyone's attention. Skyward Link and Champion Link put their toast on hold, as Mario was taking matters into his own hands.
"Mario, please sit back down..." Spyro whispered to the plumber, who ignored the purple dragon as he stood up. Mario had everyone's attention.
"Hello. Hi, everybody. I promised myself earlier I wasn't gonna make a toast-a and I'm not going to. Just going to do a little free-standing comedy and if at the end everybody wants to raise-a their glasses to Link and Zelda, then so be it. Hey, what is the deal with the Smart-a Car? How smart is that? Those things are tiny. Can you even drive-a them in traffic? 'I'm so smart. E=mc...squared. I drive a Smart Car.' That's not smart-a in my book. The real-a smart car is Kitt from Knight Rider."
"What's a Smart Car, and who's Knight Rider?" Skyward Link asked Champion Link, as he obviously didn't know what either one of those two things was.
"That's a car that can-a talk. Can Smart Car talk? Nope. That's not smart. And also, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang." Mario paused and waited for a collective laugh, but it was all silent in the packing room.
"Very smart," Pit randomly said, using some sarcasm to break the awkward silence. The lack of laughter made Mario nervous and wary.
"And...you...everybody can laugh. It doesn't have-a to just be the idiots. Everybody can laugh.
"Nope," Link said to Mario, shutting the plumber down as he stood up. Link was now the focal point of the dinner.
"Yeah. Go ahead." Mario passed the baton to Link, knowing better than to steal the groom's thunder.
"Alright. Hey, everyone. Thanks for coming. I just want to say how happy we are that all of you are here tonight. And I want to especially thank those of you who traveled from far away to be here with us tonight...which includes almost everyone here. Many years ago, I was just a guy who had a crush on a princess. And I had to do the hardest thing that I've ever had to do...which was just to wait. Uh, don't get me wrong. I flirted with her. Zelda, I can now admit in front of my friends and family that I do know how to make a photocopy. Didn't need your help that many times. And do you remember how long it took you to show me how to do my own laundry?"
"Like...a year," answered Zelda, as she recalled the many mishaps on Link's part. The fact that it took a year was baffling to some.
"So...yeah I just had little moments with a woman who saw me as a friend. And a lot of people told me I was crazy to wait this long for a date with the princess of Hyrule, but I think even then I knew that… I was waiting for my wife. So...I would like to propose a toast. So if you'd all raise your glasses."
"Not Princess-a Peach, for obvious reasons, but everyone-a else," interjected Mario, as Link looked at the plumber with a bewildered look in his eyes. "If you would raise your glasses..."
"What's obvious?" inquired Master Hand, as Peach was nervously eyeing around the packing room. "Why can't Peach drink?"
"Peach can't drink?" Link furrowed his brow, as he now had to save face after Mario's slip-up. "Mario shouldn't have said that. I don't know why he did. Peach can do whatever she wants..."
"...though she shouldn't," Mario interjected once more, as there were many raised eyebrows in the packing room. "She shouldn't because-a she's an alcoholic. Peach is an alcoholic. That's not true. What we want...the real reason is that, that Peach's pregnant."
"Peach is what now?!" boomed Barret, as there was a lot of commotion at the dinner in response to Mario's announcement. At least the pregnancy wasn't announced during the wedding ceremony...?
"Yes. Yes, Peach is pregnant. And you know what? You can't expect-a us to be careful every time. Because, frankly, it's just a different sensation."
"Mario..." Link frowned at the plumber, wanting him to stop before things could really go off the rails.
"When you...well? Am I wrong? They say it's not different, but it's a different-a sensation. When you use something to block...I think everybody knows-a what I am talking about. It's not necessarily different for the woman..."
"Mario..." Zelda called out to the plumber, as she shared the same sentiments that Link was having.
"...but it's different for the...okay. Okay." Mario was finally committed to stopping, seeing the damage he had caused.
"Mario, stop," Peach pleaded to her husband, fearing that he had spilled too much of the tea. Wrong place, wrong time."
"Alright. My point-a is I said what I wanted to say and to everyone, I hope-a you heard every word."
"Alright," said Link, as Mario sheepishly sat back down in his seat. Link grabbed his glass for the toast. "To waiting."
"To waiting," everyone responded as they held up their glass.
Bowser: This is not good...no bueno! Do you know what Peach being pregnant means? It means that Mario will have one more biological kid than me! Not gonna lie, I was kinda happy when Jennifer was born, but that happiness was short-sighted in retrospect now knowing what sick games Mario is trying to pull. I can't let him outdo me!
Tired of waiting in the lobby, Cloud decided to take a stroll around Hyrule Town, with Aerith accompanying him along the way. During his stroll, Cloud was surprised to hear his phone ring.
"Who knew that Hyrule had phone service?" the swordsman said to Aerith, before taking out his phone and seeing Luigi calling him. The swordsman answered the call. "Hey, Luigi. How did the dinner go...hmm? Peach is pregnant...?"
After the pre-wedding dinner was over, Mario and Link met in the lobby area of the hotel. As imagined, both men didn't like how the toast turned out.
"That was a little touch-a and go at first but I think we saved it," Mario discussed to Link, who was pinching the crown of his nose. "Shouldn't have spilled-a the tea like that."
"Is there something about being a plumber that makes you say stupid things?" Link asked Mario, knowing that he should've stopped the plumber from interrupting Skyward Link and Champion Link.
"I have not found-a that to be the case." Soon Zelda approached Mario and Link, and the princess was obviously not in a happy mood.
"Hey, real smooth, Mario," Zelda frowned at the plumber, hoping that he felt bad for revealing Peach's secret to everyone.
"I'm so sorry," Link apologized to Zelda, absolving himself from any sort of blame. "Mario screwed up, not me."
"I just spoke with Peach. She's not in the mood to attend the wedding anymore."
"Mama mia! Are you serious?" exclaimed Mario, who screwed up so much that his wife was no longer interested in the wedding. Way to go, Mario.
"Does that mean there's gonna be a free room?" Popo asked Mario and company, overhearing their conversation as he came over with eavesdropping ears. Nana grabbed the Ice Climber by the ear and dragged him away.
The Turks were on standby for most of the night, looking for any signs of Zant. The three agents were huddled at the hotel, while K.K. Slider was nearby playing a tune on his guitar.
"Still no sign of Zant," stated Elena as she and the Turks were looking up in the sky, expecting some portal to magically appear. "Hope he doesn't show up during the ceremony."
"Come one, come all, my groovy cats!" exclaimed K.K. Slider, as his guitar playing was drawing in a crowd of Hylians. As more and more townsfolk drew near, the Turks decided to leave.
"Let's go..." said Reno as he led the Turks away from K.K. Slider. A strange black portal appeared in the distance, up in the sky...
Hoping to make things right, Mario went to his room to speak with Peach. The plumber knocked on the door, and Peach answered it.
"Hello, Peach...I know you're probably angry with-a me," Mario said to the princess, with hands in his pockets to show how sorry he was. "May I come-a in?"
"I suppose," replied Peach as she let Mario inside the room. Inside, Spyro and Hunter were chilling on the bed going through the Hyrulian tome since they had no television to keep them entertained "You should be very fortunate that I still love you."
Midna: Heard from Zelda that Peach is pretty mad with Mario. That must mean Mario is going to get on Peach's good side, isn't it? *smiles and rubs her hands together* I should go see how that turns out...
"Kangaroos exist in Hyrule?" marveled Spyro, as he and Hunter saw a picture of Ricky the boxing kangaroo in the Hyrulian tome. "Better not let Cortex or any of his cronies see this."
"May I?" Mario asked Peach, as he sat the princess down at the foot of the bed. Mario would sit next to her. "So about the whole-a pregnancy thing...I don't know what compelled-a me to say that."
"It was an honest mistake, I will admit," admitted Peach, aware that Mario didn't intentionally mean to spill the beans about the pregnancy. "It was in the heat of the moment."
"Exactly. Whoever decided to serve-a alcohol at the party, it was their fault."
"I guess so, but they knew better. Especially since we had a few young folks in attendance."
"I know, right? Like, who would give-a alcohol to Villager? Have you seen-a his eyes?"
"Imagine how scarier those eyes would be if Villager was under the influence." That got a laugh out of Mario, as the plumber laughed along with Peach. Soon Midna flew inside the room, seeing Mario and Peach laughing together.
"Already made up, you two?" the imp asked Mario and Peach, whose laughter slowly began to die down. Midna hoped to see some arguing between the Mushroom Kingdom couple and assumed that she missed out on all the "action".
"Yes we have," replied Mario, his short little talk with Peach eliminating the princess's concerns. "Hopefully me announcing Peach's pregnancy won't take away from-a the wedding."
"I'm sure that everyone will forget about it until they head back home. I mean, we are in Hyrule, after all."
Cortex was planning a party that night, and the evil genius was going around to spread the word. He would encounter Red the Pokemon Trainer and Shantae at the hotel bar.
"Partay, Room 639," Cortex informed Red and Shantae, who were both mildly interested in the party. "Chicks are gonna be off the hook. Guys, too, Shantae. Like Calvin Klein models."
"That sounds epic," said Red, having some unusually high hopes for a party held by Cortex of all people. "Can we bring anything?"
"Nothing. Except money for beer and any hot chicks and dudes you know. Because that would help me deliver on some promises I made. Woo!"
Cortex: No one from the mansion or tower has been to a real Cortex throw down. If I was a girl, I would seriously reconsider coming to this party...but don't tell anyone that I said that because I want them there.
Peach, deciding not to be cooped up inside her room, wanted to go out and let loose, and have fun. The princess left her room and as she went down the hallway, she ran into Midna.
"And where do you think you're going?" Midna asked Peach as she folded her arms. She asserted herself as Peach's keeper.
"I was just going to go down to the hotel bar for a little bit," replied Peach as she tried to make a move past Midna, but Midna wouldn't let her.
"Well, why don't I just save you some time and kick you in the stomach instead?"
"I just wanted to get out of my room for a little while."
"Mhmm. Okay. I'll go with you. Come on." So Midna floated over to Peach, going wherever the princess went.
"Nevermind..." sighed Peach as she turned around and walked away, with Midna following right behind her.
"Are you sure? It'll be fun!" No matter how fast Peach walked, Midna was hot on her trail.
As with every wedding, Sonic had a very interesting wedding fit. His roommates at the hotel - Knuckles, Tails, Shadow, and Silver - would have a first-hand look at Sonic's wedding attire.
"What are you wearing?" Silver questioned Sonic, who entered the hotel room wearing a black shirt with a wolf on it along with some pants.
"What? It's a casual, social outfit," Sonic explained to his friends, as he showed off his exquisite taste in fashion.
"Looks like you're going to a fish fry, Sonic," Tails said to the blue hedgehog, preferring that his friend wore no clothes to the wedding. Wouldn't hurt to be naked for a wedding.
"No, they're howling at the moon. It's very suggestive to women because of the howling." Sonic would demonstrate as he started howling, which bothered Tails, Shadow, and Silver.
"That's not appropriate," remarked Shadow, and soon enough, Knuckles started howling along with Sonic. Never before has Shadow felt his intelligence so incredibly insulted.
"Come on, Sonic, let's ditch these haters!" exclaimed Knuckles, both him and Sonic howling as they exited the room. Shadow, meanwhile, began to ponder what he had done to deserve being Sonic's roommate.
Dr. Wily was seriously considering wearing a wig to the wedding, and he was going around the bar asking others for their opinion. One of the folks he asked was Little Mac.
"It's a good idea," Wily tried to convince Little Mac, who found himself in disagreement as he shook his head no.
"It's not a good idea," stated Little Mac, trying to warn Wily of a mistake that he would end up regret making. "There's no such thing as a good hairpiece."
"Yeah. But that's easy enough for you to say, Little Mac. You have that thick, beautiful, Brooklyn hair. So nice." Wily would delicately stroke Little Mac's hair, making the boxer feel uncomfortable as a Hylian lady walked past by and gave both Wily and Little Mac the side-eye.
"I'm just worried about my chili dog maker, ya know?" Sonic said to Ruto and Amy Rose at the bar, while Knuckles didn't like how the conversation was going. "Can't trust Shaymin with it by herself."
"Sonic, shut up about your stupid chili dog maker," Knuckles told the blue hedgehog, believing that Sonic talking about chili dogs made him look less cool just by mere association. "It's not relatable. Nobody owns a chili dog maker."
"You make chili dogs?" an interested Ruto asked Sonic; clearly she was a fan of the chili dog maker. "That's neat. How many horses do you make?"
"Nine per day, on average," replied Sonic; given how much he loved chili dogs, nine must be a pretty low number for Sonic.
Sonic: Tails made that chili dog maker for me. I wanted to do my part, and pitch Tails' invention to all the brand names out there. Sharper Image is still considering it. Sky Mall's considering it. Hammacher Schlemer is still considering it. Sears said, 'No'. Suckers!
"Toy Story, Finding Nemo, Up...I bawl the entire time," Dante chatted with a Hylian woman, shooting his shot - too bad that the woman he was speaking to had no idea what Dante was even talking about. "I cannot watch Pixar."
"Dante...drop this one, abort," King Dedede ran over to the vigilante, who was confused. Why would Dante stop now, he was just starting to gel with the woman! (Or so he believed.)
"Why?" King Dedede would tell Dante why, as he leaned in close to the vigilante.
"I found twins..." King Dedede whispered into Dante's ear, as Dante's eyes widened.
"Twins...no way." In any other instance, Dante would remain where he was, but with King Dedede, he had no choice but to give in. "I'm sorry. You understand. Nice to meet you." Dante said his parting words to the woman, as he got up and followed King Dedede...
...to two literal Hyrulian twins, sitting at the bar and enjoying their meal. Dante struggled to comprehend what the big deal was, while King Dedede was marveling at the sight.
"Aren't they magnificent?" King Dedede asked Dante as he sighed happily, clapping his hands together and smiling.
"They're men, Dedede," stated Dante - if the twins were Gorons or Rito, perhaps Dante would be a bit more interested.
"I love finding a good set of twins." King Dedede just kept staring at the Goron twins, like they were the rarest animal species at the zoo.
"Something is wrong with you..." Dante walked away, wondering how much Captain Syrup could take of King Dedede.
Meanwhile, up in Room 639, Cortex was having his party. Red and Shantae were invited, Tiki was invited, and even the Crash clan was invited as party music was playing and everyone was dancing. The music came from a cordless music player that Cortex had brought...erm, stolen from the Squid Sisters.
"Go, Crash, go!" Coco cheered on for her brother, who was in the center of the room cutting a rug. Crash was spinning around in a funky breakdancing move, as the crowd cheered him on.
"Nice moves," Tiki complimented Crash, who then got up and started doing the robot. Cortex saw Crash's dance moves and heard Tiki's compliment, and refused to let his arch-nemesis show him up.
"You call that a robot, Crash?" the evil genius snorted at Crash as he pushed the bandicoot out of the way. "Try being more robotic, okay? Like this." Cortex started doing the robot himself, but it sucked compared to Crash's.
"Lame! What else you got, Cortex?" Ann asked the evil genius, getting him all hyped up as he wanted to prove everyone wrong.
"How about a little bit of this?" Switching it up, Cortex began doing the shoot dance. Talk about bringing it back.
"Oh yeah!" exclaimed Wario, who was surprised that Cortex had yet to break a limb. "What else you got?"
"Did someone change my name to Baskin Robbin? Because I feel like a banana split. Woo!" Out nowhere, Cortex busted out a split - and immediately screamed in pain.
"What else you got?" Tiki asked Cortex, only to pipe down as Cortex screamed even louder while holding his crotch. Just like that, everyone stopped dancing.
Falco and Pac-Man searched around the hotel and Hyrule Town for Ganondorf and Eggman, but couldn't find them anywhere. Not even Orbot or Cubot were anywhere to be found. It almost felt like their effort was all for naught.
"Dang it! Can't find those two anywhere," Falco said to Pac-Man, hanging out with the eater of ghosts in the middle of some woods. "It's like those two hopped off the face of the earth."
"'Face of the earth'? Are you implying that you're a flat-earther, Falco?" Pac-Man asked Falco, causing the avian pilot to furrow his brow, as Pac-Man laughed. "Just trying to add a little humor..."
"Well, no offense, but that joke sucked. One hundred percent. And the fact that Ganondorf and Eggman seemingly vamoosed sucks even more!"
Suddenly, a black portal appeared in the sky, and it was the portal that appeared twice before. Falco and Pac-Man both looked up, as they saw someone appear out from the portal and descend to the ground. Falco and Pac-Man knew who it was...
"...Zant!" the two smashers shouted in unison, as Falco took out his Blaster and pointed it at Zant. Zant's presence only meant trouble.
"At ease - I come in peace," Zant assured Falco and Pac-Man, who were both raring for a fight. "I heard that you have a problem..."
"Put a sock in it bub, don't think we forgot about that treaty," Falco said to Zant, making sure that he kept his eyes locked on the Twili. "Trying to set us up again, huh?"
"Once again, I come in peace." Zant hovered over to Falco and Pac-Man, and Falco refused to back down. "Do either one of you wish to officiate Link and Zelda's wedding?"
"Well, I kinda do," answered Pac-Man, as Falco was slowly lowering his guard. For a moment, it appeared that Zant wanted to be an...ally? "Dr. Eggman is kinda standing in my way. Ganondorf, too."
"Ah, yes, Ganondorf...the two of us go way back. I will gladly kick him and Dr. Eggman to the curb...but only if you do me this one favor."
"Just one favor...?" Pac-Man was hooked, immediately enticed as he and Falco looked at one another. Would it be wise to trust Zant, given his past?
Cortex was left in so much pain after his split, that he had to be carried by Ken. Ken Masters carried the evil genius down the hallway.
"It's gonna be fine, it's gonna be fine," Ken assured Cortex as he arrived at Zelda's room, before knocking on the door. "Zelda's here." Ken knocked on the door a second time, and Zelda finally answered.
"I was dancing and I did a split and I landed on my ray gun in my pocket," Cortex explained to Zelda, as he was feeling some rather excruciating pain between his legs.
"What?" Zelda crinkled her nose, as Cortex's face was red with pain. That split he did really messed him up.
"I tore my scrotum. I need you to take me to the hospital." Not the kind of situation Zelda wanted before her wedding.
Though to be fair, Zant's meddling was a far more pressing issue.