Author's Note:
This chapter is based on a story idea that my sister came up with, while I was dealing with writer's block. (Super rare for me, I know.) Hopefully, I made the most of it. On to the reviews:
"Cortex owned a lot of properties now. He can live in one of those properties, or he can go back to his castle. Whaddaya think?"
A third option might come into play...but I won't reveal what it is. Another anonymous review:
"Hey, just done watching CEO, a very hype fighting game tournament, and it got Smash in it. And recently, Kola, a Roy player, just won the entire tournament. Speaking of Roy, can we at least get a chapter where he's not miserable? Dunno, man. I've been liking Roy for a while, and seeing him being miserable is sad. First Corrin eloped before him, and now everyone found out that Lyn is his mother. I feel bad for him! I just want him to be happy for once. Can you do that please? Thank you."
He'll get one soon. Very soon, perhaps. One last anonymous review:
"Another good news! Arc System Works is giving rollback netcode to Blazblue Central Fiction AND Cross Tag Battle! With rollback netcode, it would be easier for players around the world to play online, similar to Slippi Melee. Unfortunately, the netcode would be released in 2022, and only for PS4 and Steam, so no netcode for Switch for the time being. With that news, wouldn't this be a good time to introduce more Blazblue characters?"
Ooh! Yes, yes it would. So many good characters I could introduce. On to Romance Enjoyer - first, a review of theirs last week that I overlooked:
"So, who's Lilina's mom? Is it Florina? That'd make sense."
Lilina's mom is indeed Florina. Now for their review this week:
"It's the Christmas season. The mistletoes are being hanged. Will we see some kisses?"
I actually have some planned out...stay tuned. TIME TO GO has inquired about the Wayfinder trio:
"So, you're gonna replace the Crash clan with the Wayfinder Trio, huh? You know what. I let this one slide. The Wayfinder Trio was spirits, unlike the Crash clan".
The chances of that are kinda slim at the moment. I just wanted to feature Terra, Ventus, and Aqua in the story, that's all. Last is David:
"Has Team Rocket's Wobuffet had a small scene interacting with its baby counterpart Wynaut? (Dumb question I know). Is Mewtwo using his voice from the first Pokemon movie? Are Ann and Viridi going team up to stop Pit and Ryuji's wrestling feud by showing them clips from Botchamania? Any jabs at Mauro 'Boctho' Ranallo or Michael Cole as part of the wrestling feud? And finally, what are your thoughts on the lack of new Switch games not coming out this month of December? (Since all the good ones were released in November ironically)."
Nope. He is using his voice from the first Pokemon movie. The chances of that happening are very unlikely. No jabs at either commenter. And I don't mind the lack of new Switch games in December, honestly. I'm already looking forward to 2022's slate. Should be a good year for Nintendo.
Episode 312: Claustastrophe
Christmas was always that time of the year when the jolly ol' fellow came out of his year-long hibernation...the jolly ol' fellow known to many as Santa Claus. Everyone knew the story about him - he sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake. He knows when you've been bad for good, so you better be good for goodness sake.
With a description like that, one wouldn't be at fault to consider Santa Claus a clairvoyant of the highest degree. And in the worst case, a bona fide stalker. A little kid lover, if you will. But Santa himself has proven to be a very popular fictional holiday figure - so much so, grown men at shopping malls and elsewhere dress up as him for Christmas to entertain the children.
At the Smash Mansion, it was no different as Doc Louis would oftentimes get into his Santa Claus getup and portray himself as Old Saint Nick. The kids that he would entertain every holiday season might be all grown up now, but having a Santa around at the mansion was a plus. Doc Louis was always heavily relied upon to be Santa, and the boxing trainer came through every year.
"Oh, he'll be coming down the chimney down..." Doc Louis happily sang to himself, standing in front of the mirror while dressed up as Santa. The boxing trainer had to make sure his belly stuck out enough; his potbelly could only do so much.
"Doc Louis, do we really have to be your elves?" Little Mac asked the boxing trainer, as he and Leia were in the bathroom with Doc; both he and the nurse were dressed up as elves. "This goofy costume makes me feel like a munchkin, almost."
"I want to be Santa Claus; you get to spend some holiday quality time with your girl. We killin' two birds with one stone, baby!" Done adjusting his belt, Doc Louis was ready to take the show on the road. "Let's get it!"
So Doc Louis stepped out of the bathroom, humming a happy Christmas tune to himself with Little Mac and Leia following after him. As he strutted down the hallway, Doc Louis came to a stop and gasped when he saw Rodin - dressed up as Santa - speaking with Donkey Kong. Also dressed up as Santa.
"If you wanna complete the look, you gotta wear a beard," Rodin suggested to Donkey Kong while holding a lit cigar in his finger. Everyone knows that Santa Claus doesn't smoke, come on now Rodin! "Otherwise, you gotta give up the Santa role to Cranky."
"His unwillingness is why I'm even in this position, to begin with," stated Donkey Kong, only for him and Rodin to look over and spot Doc Louis. Doc looked shocked, his mouth agape as he didn't know what to say or think.
"What's the meaning of this?!" Doc Louis snapped on Rodin and Donkey Kong, wishing that he could sucker punch them both. "I thought it was known that I would be Santa Claus this year!"
"That's not what the memo said," stated Rodin, leading Doc Louis to wonder when this memo was sent out. Whoever sent it out would receive a third of Doc Louis' sucker punches.
Researcher Zelda: A memo was sent out to the residents after Doc Louis announced his intentions to retire as Santa Claus. A few of the male residents were scrambling around to see who would replace Doc. *sighs* Doc Louis apparently reversed his decision an hour after the memo was sent to everyone.
"I don't care about some lousy memo, I wanna know why you boys are stealing my shine," said Doc Louis, only to gasp in shock when a third Santa Claus entered the scene. That Santa Claus was King Dedede, who already pulled off the look well. Probably because he always wore red.
"Ho, ho, ho! Happy holidays!" cheered King Dedede, as he had a large brown sack hoisted over his shoulders. Accompanying the fat penguin was his "reindeer", Meta Knight, who had two antlers glued to his head.
"Don't ask me how I got roped into this," pleaded Meta Knight, his silver mask hiding the amount of animosity he harbored towards King Dedede. Alarmed by Meta Knight's defiant behavior, King Dedede backhanded the Star Warrior.
"You too, King Dedede?" Doc Louis frowned at the fat penguin, ashamed that so many of his peers were coming after his Santa Claus mantle. The last thing Doc would want was some competition.
"It's Santa Claus to you, good sir. King Dedede won't be around until midnight...or maybe dinner." As if things couldn't get any worse for Doc Louis, Yusuke and Haru both showed up dressed as Santa Claus.
"Well, well...look at what we have here!" gleamed Yusuke, thinking that he walked into what he believed was a melting pot of brewing tension. "So many Santa Clauses...and not one of them has a Mrs. Claus."
"What a shame," Haru shook her head - the other Santa Clauses should step up their game if they wanted to be on Yusuke's level.
"Blimey! You don't even have a beard!" King Dedede shouted at Yusuke, noticing how clean-shaven the artist's face was. "At least I have a reindeer!"
"And a black eye very soon if you keep me a part of this nonsense," Meta Knight muttered under his breath, unable to take off his reindeer horns for he knew King Dedede would easily glue them back on. Not to mention how much it would probably hurt.
"King Dedede, aren't you a little too fat to be Santa Claus?" asked Bowser as he showed up at the scene - and yes, he too was wearing a Santa Claus costume. Doc Louis was more and more beside himself. "Granted Santa's already fat, but you on the other hand..."
"HOW MANY MORE OF Y'ALL ARE THERE?!" boomed Doc Louis, feeling distressed from seeing so many dudes dressed up as Old Saint Nick. "Are there any more posers trying to be Santa Claus?"
"this costume sure has got me feeling santa-mental," quipped Sans as he showed up dressed as Santa Claus. The skeleton came to a stop when he saw the others gathered around. "wassup, fellow santas?"
The mere presence of Sans sparked some quarreling, as Doc Louis and the others argued among themselves over who the superior Santa Claus was. As the arguing went on, Link and Cloud came down the hallway and observed the scene.
"You should've waited a bit longer on sending out that memo," Cloud said to Link, who found himself mostly in agreement as he saw the dissension he caused.
"It was Doc Louis' fault for being a turncoat," stated Link as he walked over to Doc Loius and company so he could put an end to the arguing. "Alright, boys, what's all the fuss about?"
"These fools are trying to upstage me," stated Doc Louis, not sure which man he wanted to rat out first. Rodin, who wanted to smoke despite his Santa duties, was perhaps the most deserving. "How could you let this happen, Link?"
"Says the man who wanted to be indecisive," snarked Yusuke, as Doc Louis got angry with the artist and grabbed him by his collar. Haru intervened and freed Yusuke from Doc's clutches.
"Personally, I just wanted to take a crack at this whole Santa thing," admitted Bowser, who had gone all out for his Santa getup. His costume even came with red and green flashing lights. "It would give me the license to ruin little boys' and girls' dreams!"
"See? This guy wants to desecrate the great name of Santa Claus!" Doc Louis said to Link as he pointed at Bowser, expecting the Hylian to punish the Koopa King on the spot. "He doesn't have nor understands the Santa spirit."
"Quit talking about Santa like he's some sacred, holy figure," Donkey Kong advised Doc Louis, who became incensed again as he winded up his fist at the gorilla. Link couldn't afford to let things escalate.
"Hold it, Doc!" the Hylian shouted at Doc Louis before the boxing trainer could sock Donkey Kong in the face. "How about this - why don't we have a competition to see who the best Santa is? Winner gets to be Santa until Christmas."
"What's the point of having this competition if I'm gonna win?" asked an uber-confident Doc Louis, certain that he had the experience to put the other Santas to shame. "I'm the OG - these other fellas are just leeching off my name."
"I would be open to this contest," Yusuke offered his two cents, as he did not care about winning or losing. "This will be a great opportunity for me to showcase my many talents!"
"Yeah...I don't think this is such a great idea, Link," Little Mac said to Link, alarmed by the prospect of Doc Louis being even more insufferable through the means of (un)friendly competition. "Why not just have multiple Santas this year?"
"Because we don't need anyone having a jealous streak like Mario three years ago," stated Link; at least Doc Louis and the others had the common decency to not force others to sit on their lap. "This will be a way for us to cut down to size."
"And how exactly does this 'competition' work?" Bowser asked Link; he needed to know all the rules so that he could cheat accordingly.
"The premise is simple...just go around spreading holiday cheer. Whoever spreads the most cheer (or at least has the most positive remarks) gets to be Santa, and no one else."
"Sounds simple enough," said Rodin as he put his cigar back in his mouth, holding a lighter to it. Someone seriously needs to tell Rodin right now that Santa doesn't smoke. "What do we got to lose?"
"may the best santa win," said Sans, as he and the others Santas left the premises. As everyone left, Doc Louis was the only person left standing, with Little Mac and Leia.
"Mark my words, Link...I'm gonna be Santa at the end of the day," Doc Louis guaranteed to the Hylian, hoping to mop the floor with the "Santa posers". "Let's go, Mac and Leia - gotta spread some holiday cheer! Maybe even sing a few Christmas carols! I'll do the lead vocals."
"I don't think our ears can stomach that," remarked Leia as she and Little Mac followed after Doc Louis. Link watched as Doc Louis and company left, wondering if he had made the right decision.
"Don't act surprised if you get some complaints later today," Cloud said to Link, who already found the regret settling in. There was a sudden fear that some of the Santas might take the initiative of spreading "holiday cheer" a bit too far.
Doc Louis: Got no clue why these guys are coming after my crown. My throne! The same throne I've been sitting on every holiday for years...save for 2018. Bowser's kids were to blame. But when there's smoke, there's fire. And I don't think these cats want the smoke...
Rodin: Bayonetta would judge me if I lost my Santa privileges to Doc Louis - or even worse, Sans. I gotta do this for her.
Donkey Kong: Curse you, Cranky Kong! If it wasn't for your reluctance to be an "instrument of mockery to the author", whatever that means, I wouldn't be in this position. I'm definitely gonna get you coal for Christmas this year!
Yusuke: The other Santas have their red suit, and their boots, and maybe even their sack of toys, fake toys I should mention...but what they don't have is a Mrs. Claus.
Haru: I'm just riding on Yusuke's coattails if he wins. Would be much easier than having to give any effort.
King Dedede: Screw spreading holiday cheer, that's overrated! I have to do more than that. I need a sleigh that can actually fly! More reindeer! And, of course, some magic! But where do I get some?
Sans: totally gonna sleigh this santa competition. once I win, i'm gonna make it rein on the losers. with some christmas candy.
Bowser: Everyone knows that the trick to being a good Santa is to present yourself as the happiest, friendliest person on earth. A good thing for me, since I know how to front for my kids; it's how I got them to give up their entire allowances. Just have to keep the act up, and I'll be good to go!
With Sans masquerading as Santa today, Joker was hoping for a relatively peaceful day at Cafe Leblanc. One where he could serve coffee and curry to the mansion residents and occasional guests. However, his hopes were suddenly dashed when he was greeted by his good friend Ryuji, who only wanted to talk about one thing...wrestling.
"No, Ryuji, I'm not going to watch AEW," a clearly annoyed Joker said to the delinquent, who was sitting at the cafe counter. Ryuji refused to leave Joker alone until he hopped on the AEW bandwagon. "Did it not do so well the day before Thanksgiving?"
"Yes...but that was only because folks were too busy with their Thanksgiving preparations," replied Ryuji, as Joker bought the delinquent's response as a very lousy excuse. "It was just poor timing."
"Can you SMEEEEELLLLLL...what the Pit...is...cooking?" shouted Pit, finding himself in the groove as he was cooking some curry. Seeing Pit doing his best Rock impersonation gave Joker an interesting thought.
"I know you like AEW and all, but do you ever give WWE a chance?" Joker asked Ryuji, who couldn't believe the question that was asked to him. Ryuji looked at Joker all funny before busting out laughing.
"Give WWE a chance?!" wheezed Ryuji, laughing himself hoarse as he slammed his fists on the counter. Pit looked over at Ryuji, looking offended. "As if! Don't mean to be insensitive, but liking WWE is like being stuck in an abusive relationship."
"Like being stuck in an abusive relationship, what...?" Pit furrowed his brow at Ryuji, alarmed by the analogy that was made. So much for Ryuji not wanting to be insensitive.
"If you hate WWE so much, why do I see you peeping at their weekly episodes?" Viridi asked Ryuji, putting the delinquent on the spot. Joker widened his eyes, as Ryuji licked his upper lip unable to think of a comeback.
"...only to see if they're better than last week's episode," admitted Ryuji, too chicken to admit that he would occasionally watch any WWE show. "If it's not better, then I'll just complain online until my complaints are heard."
"You must be in an abusive relationship with yourself," Terry poked fun at Ryuji, sitting next to the delinquent as he eavesdropped on the conversation. Ryuji had no comeback for the Lone Wolf either.
Viridi: Ryuji once cried himself to sleep when he discovered that some lady wrestler with a doll was one of the biggest merch movers on WWEShop dot com. That's the kind of wrestling fan that we usually have to deal with, unfortunately.
"Whatever...but at least I don't follow some second-rate wrestling promotion," snorted Ryuji, as he was throwing some extra shade at Pit. Pit knew it too, as he glared at Ryuji. "Pit must be depressed watching the WWE."
"Least it's not some glorified bingo hall like your wrestling show!" retorted Pit, coming back with some flames of his own. Kirby, Viridi, Incineroar, and even Joker were left shocked, and Ryuji was too as he was left speechless.
"Oh man, this is gonna get good!" smiled Terry, seeing the tension brewing between Pit and Ryuji. It was only a matter of time those two butted heads over which wrestling promotion was the most superior.
"Glorified bingo hall, huh?" Ryuji frowned at Pit, confident that he had enough material and evidence to put the angel in his rightful place. "What's so good about the WWE? The LED lights? The wrestlers themselves? Ha!"
"You wouldn't mind those wrestlers if they came over to your show," retorted Pit, and Ryuji's silence implied that Pit was merely speaking the truth. "And what wrestlers do your show have? Just a bunch of vanilla midgets running around."
"Vanilla midgets? Where did you learn that word from?!" Ryuji had seen the word "vanilla midget" online, and seeing that word mentioned out loud in the open made him very incensed. "Ah, who cares...at the end of the day, you're just a shill. The worst kind of fan."
"The WWE has Roman Reigns...all you got is some guy with an ugly American star tattoo." Once again, Ryuji had no comeback, as Pit smirked at Ryuji with his hands up in the air. Stumped, Ryuji desperately looked towards Joker.
"Don't look at me - I'm not a shill for your precious wrestling show," Joker said to Ryuji, who felt sweat running down his face; Ryuji couldn't let someone like Pit get the better of him.
"I can tell you one thing...AEW has more passionate fans!" Ryuji shouted at Pit; he had nothing to back up his claim, but he could always find a way. "Heck, I can show you some right now!"
"Is it someone other than Banjo?" inquired Pit, as Banjo was the only AEW fan that Pit knew personally. Ryuji was about to speak... "And Corrin?" ...but Pit effectively shut him down.
"I know where to find a passionate fan...I'll be back." So Ryuji left the cafe, determined to find someone, anyone, that liked AEW as much as he did. Even if his search took him the entire day, just finding one genuine fan would make him feel vindicated.
"Surprised he didn't wish death upon Vince McMahon during that whole charade," remarked Joker, as Pit quietly resumed his work. For the time being, Pit had a W over Ryuji.
"Can't wait to see him fall flat on his face," snickered Pit, anxious to see Ryuji fail. Ryuji had to come through, big time.
As a member of the Happy Home Designers, one of Lottie's duties was to find furniture for any new homeowner's house. The otter tasked Mario and the gang with finding out what furniture the Wayfinder trio wanted, and soon a shopping list came to fruition. Mario, Spyro, and Hunter all came through, as they shopped for the items that the Wayfinder trio wanted.
"Microwave...check," said Mario, crossing the word "microwave" off his list as he was doing an inventory check of the purchased furniture in his living room. "Nightstand...check. Portable projector...portable projector? Who wanted a portable projector?"
"My bad, that one's for me," Hunter said to Mario sheepishly as he grabbed the portable projector in question and stuffed it in his imaginary pocket. Mario looked puzzled as Spyro walked by.
"Hunter bought that portable projector only for his workouts," Spyro explained to Mario, his explanation not doing much to quell Mario's confusion. "Told him to buy an exercise bike instead, but he wouldn't listen..."
"Exercise bike! Can't forget about-a that one." Mario walked over to what appeared to be a regular bike, as he crossed "exercise bike" off his list.
"That's not a..." Spyro was about to correct Mario, but he saved himself some trouble (and a potential headache) as he kept his words to himself.
Spyro: Kinda weird how Terra, Ventus, and Aqua have never owned a television, and yet they have cell phones. And they're not even good phones at that; all you can do with them is look at pictures, play some weird Mr. Game and Watch game, and read "secret reports" from Organization XIII members. Which are, judging from what I've read, weird fanfiction about Keyblades and junk. Sora would be so proud.
"And-a of course, the flatscreen television," said Mario, walking over to a flat-screen television as he crossed another item off his list. Bowser barged inside Mario's home - not even bothering to ring the doorbell - as he saw all the stuff in the living room and gasped.
"Mario! I didn't know you were a hoarder," the Koopa King said to the plumber, who was inspecting the few lava lamps he ordered. Ventus specifically wanted those for his room. "You're even worse than a stinky neckbeard!"
"They're not-a for me, they're for the Wayfinder trio," explained Mario, as Bowser walked over to the flat-screen television which was still in the box. Bowser tore the top of the box open, much to Mario's chagrin. "Bowser, stop it!"
"Chill out, Mario! I just wanna give this television to someone who actually deserves it." Bowser took the television out of the box, inspecting it a bit before placing it back in. "Those three are rich enough to afford their own television."
"They don't look-a that rich..." Having placed the television back in the box, Bowser soon took sight of a microwave resting on the floor near his foot. He picked up the box that the microwave was inside.
"A microwave? Really, Mario? Some poor kid in Nepal could eat this thing!" Bowser checked the back of the microwave box, just to see if the microwave was any good. "Ooh! This one comes with twelve settings!"
"Is Nepal even an impoverished country?" Spyro asked Bowser, who was too busy checking out what other features the microwave had. "What are you even getting at?"
"Stuff like this should go to the needy. That's why, as this year's resident Santa, it is my duty to give back to the community...and beyond!"
"Pfft...you can't even be a good-a father to your own kids," said a skeptical Mario, as Bowser placed the microwave down on the floor before venturing over to the bike. "Hands-a off the exercise bike!"
"Looks like a regular bike to me." Bowser hopped on the bike, and his weight caused it to collapse and break. Spyro snorted out a laugh, while Mario facepalmed at Bowser. "You know, Mario, if you had put a little more thought into your gift shopping, this wouldn't have happened."
In the mansion's backyard, King Dedede wished to cement himself as the best Santa at the mansion. To do this, he needed a flying sleigh, some reindeer, and even a small dose of magic. The fat penguin found a sleigh in the garden shed, so next on his to-do list was finding some reindeer...
"Thanks for obliging, kids!" King Dedede thanked Bowser Jr. and the Koopalings, who all met with the fat penguin outside. Every young Koopa was wearing reindeer horns, much like Meta Knight.
"We're gonna be in so much trouble for not assisting our dad," Bowser Jr. whispered to Larry, as he couldn't believe that King Dedede suckered him and his siblings so easily.
"Time for a roll-call! We got Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner...and Bowser Jr, you can be Blitzen." That rounded out the eight reindeer - however, there was one name missing...
"Who's Rudolph?" inquired Meta Knight, as King Dedede looked at the Star Warrior funny before busting out laughing. "Don't laugh at me, it wasn't like I asked a stupid question!"
"But you did ask a stupid question!" As he continued to laugh, King Dedede aggressively smacked the back of Meta Knight's head, causing him to wince. "You're Rudolph, you silly goose!"
"Then where's my..." Meta Knight would be interrupted when King Dedede took out a red nose and smacked it on his mask. "...red nose." The red nose was flashing a red light, which was very fitting. "Why do I hate my life...?"
"That's no way to talk about yourself, Rudolph! Have some confidence! Did your friend Hermey lose confidence when he was called a misfit elf?"
Morton: King Dedede promised to give his free Christmas candy if we agree to be his reindeer for his sleigh. *sighs* Why are we so gullible?
"All there's left to do is find some magic, so we can make this sleigh fly," stated King Dedede - needed the right kind of magic to reach his goal. "But where can we find some? Meta Knight?"
"If I had any, I'd think twice about giving you some," muttered Meta Knight, formulating multiple ways to sabotage King Dedede's grand scheme. Soon three Keyblade gliders landed near King Dedede. The three pilots? Terra, Ventus, and Aqua.
"Why not ask them?" Ludwig suggested to King Dedede as he pointed at the Wayfinder trio; King Dedede stroked his chin in thought, as the Wayfinder trio reverted to their original forms.
"Santa Claus must be in town," joked Ventus when he saw King Dedede dressed up as Santa Claus; he was more amused by the Koopalings and Meta Knight cosplaying as reindeer. "You look great as a reindeer, Meta Knight."
"Say that again and I will cut your neck open..." Meta Knight threatened Ventus as he unsheathed his sword. Ventus cautiously took a few steps back, as Aqua observed how King Dedede was staring at her.
"You want something, your majesty?" the Keyblade Master asked King Dedede, who felt a confidence boost from how Aqua addressed him. No one ever addressed him as such. Being friends with an actual king, Aqua was that respectful towards royalty.
"Are you three denizens of light believers in natural gas? Or pure magic?" King Dedede asked the Wayfinder trio, who exchanged rather amused looks with each other. "Either way, I need either resource to make my sleigh fly."
"Sleighs can't fly on their own," stated Terra, as King Dedede gave a blank stare that was potent enough to make Terra begrudgingly sigh. "Let me see what I can do..."
"Score!" King Dedede pumped his fist, as Terra walked over to King Dedede's sleigh while holding out his Keyblade. Focusing with all his might, Terra held up his Keyblade and pointed it at the sleigh as he screamed.
"Does he always go full Dragon Ball Z mode when casting magic on inanimate objects?" Lemmy whispered to Aqua and Ventus, as he admired Terra's magic casting abilities.
"Got no clue what Dragon Ball Z even is, but I'll just answer yes," Ventus whispered back - soon Terra was done, putting an end to his screaming as he lowered his Keyblade.
"There, all done," the Keyblade Master said to King Dedede, thinking that he might've overdone it a little. "Should be able to fly your sleigh with no problem."
"Can you also cast your magic on my reindeer?" King Dedede requested of Terra, who looked at the Koopalings; Terra did the same thing he did with the sleigh to the Koopalings and Meta Knight, with the same results.
"Now you're good to go." With his work finished, Terra put his Keyblade away as King Dedede tied the reins of the sleigh to the Koopalings. After placing Meta Knight at the front and placing the rein on him, Dedede hopped on his sleigh, ready for takeoff. "Happy flying."
"Alright, kiddies! Up, up, and away!" shouted King Dedede as he took out his whip, whipping at the Koopalings. Bowser would definitely not approve. "Yip yip!" King Dedede whipped a second time...but nothing happened.
"Hehehe...I pooted," giggled Lemmy, as he was smiling mischievously to himself; his siblings were left holding their noses, while Meta Knight was mostly protected thanks to his mask.
"You didn't cast any magic on them, did you?" Ventus asked Terra, watching as King Dedede whipped at the Koopalings a third time. No sort of magic occurred, as the sleigh remained in its spot.
"Obviously not," replied Terra as he went towards the mansion, with King Dedede desperately struggling to lift his sleigh off the ground. "Let's see how long it'll take for him to figure it out."
"I said, YIP YIP!" boomed King Dedede as he cracked his whip a fourth time, expecting Meta Knight and the Koopalings to fly into the air like Appa. The whip extended long enough to strike Meta Knight in his back. "Maybe we have to wait it out for the magic to settle in."
"Ow, my back!" Meta Knight yelped in pain, feeling a painful tingling sensation running down his spine. Provided that he even had a spine.
Ryuji was on a search to find one genuine AEW fan, and it had to be someone other than Banjo and Corrin. If he couldn't find one, then he simply had to make a fan out of somebody...and that's exactly what he was doing with Pyra and Mythra.
"Pyra, Mythra, I am asking you as a friend to watch AEW," Ryuji bargained to the Blades, who were busy making some Christmas goodies in the kitchen. Pyra was doing most of the work, for obvious reasons. "It'll make you feel like a kid again!"
"Ryuji, we're Blades...we were never kids, to begin with," stated Mythra, as Ryuji had no other material to sway Pyra and Mythra to his side. "We both have no childhoods to speak of."
"Well, I'm sure that Rex has a childhood! And he would love to watch AEW. It has that sports feel that he would appreciate." A knock was heard from the back door in the dining room, and Pyra went to go answer it.
"Come on in!" smiled Pyra, as she let the Wayfinder Trio inside the mansion. She brought the three to the kitchen, where Ryuji saw some potential new fans. "Welcome back! You're just in time."
"Just in time for what?" inquired Terra, only to see a cooking sheet on the kitchen counter. Several rows of Christmas cookies were on it. "Ah, I see you've been making Christmas cookies."
"I did the designs myself," Mythra bragged to the Wayfinder trio, as Terra, Ventus, and Aqua checked out how the cookies looked. Some of the designs looked questionable at best...and that was just being generous. "I'm quite the artist!"
"These designs look like they were done by a two-year-old," commented Aqua, offending Mythra greatly as Pyra struggled to hold in her laugh. "Guess we could give you an A for effort, I suppose."
Mythra: *scoffs, rolls her eyes* Hmph...haters.
"Terra, Ventus, Aqua!" Ryuji greeted the Wayfinder trio as he clicked his fingers at them. "Any of you three care for some professional wrestling? Preferably AEW, also known as All Elite Wrestling?"
"We have no interest in this playfighting hobby of yours," replied Terra, as he and Aqua distanced themselves from Ryuji. Ventus tried to do the same, only for Ryuji to run to the Keyblade wielder and wrap his arm around him.
"Say, Ven, I think you're the likeliest to give AEW a try!" To Ryuji, Ventus seemed the most impressionable out of the Wayfinder trio. "What do you say, man?"
"Is this AEW really all that elite?" Ventus asked Ryuji, who let out the biggest laugh known to man. A laugh so flamboyant, it even made Ventus question what he got himself into.
"Of course, man...it's in the name! It's got everything you could ask for. Technical wrestlers, high-flying wrestlers, powerhouse wrestlers, dinosaurs, aliens, anxious millennial cowboys..."
"What is an 'anxious millennial cowboy'?" Ventus hated himself for asking this question, but his curiosity got the better of him. "Sounds like a very specific description."
"Only the most relatable person in all of wrestling. You won't know yourself unless you see him in action." Ryuji got behind Ventus and pushed the Keyblade wielder out of the kitchen. "Movie room, away!"
"Wait, hold on, I didn't agree to anything yet!" Poor Ventus felt helpless, as Ryuji pushed him out of the kitchen while leaving behind skid marks in the process. Terra and Aqua both had some sympathy for their friend.
"Can you save some cookies for Ven?" Aqua asked Pyra and Mythra, who were more than happy to oblige. Well, Pyra certainly was...Mythra, not so much, as she still felt a bit salty.
No matter how hard he looked, Snake couldn't find his journal. Without it, he felt helpless; little did he know that Mario had his journal at the moment. But for Snake, not all hope was entirely lost.
After reporting his missing journal to Hal, Hal offered to send some photos to the mansion for Snake to inspect. Snake was to receive the photos in an envelope today, and the former spy was on the porch, being on the lookout for the mailman.
"This is what I get...for not...driving a vehicle like most deliverymen," said Link's mailman, his legs quivering as he struggled to carry a tower of packages to the mansion. Once he reached the porch, the mailman dropped the boxes in exhaustion, before seeing a cardboard box on the porch steps. "Hmm?"
"Surprise, surprise!" shouted Snake as he emerged from the cardboard box. The mailman shrieked, only for Snake to grab him by the neck and put him in a vicious chokehold. "Where's my envelope, punk?!"
"E-Envelope? What envelope? I don't know what you're talking about!" The mailman was choked out by Snake, as he was left gasping for air. Snake wasn't playing around.
"I'm not dumb, man, I know you have it with you! Now cough it up!" Instead of coughing up the letter, Link's mailman instead coughed up some saliva as he started feeling light-headed.
"Um, sir?" a man called out to Snake, who stopped choking the mailman out and dropped him to the ground. Speaking to Snake was a UPS delivery man, who was holding an envelope in his hand. "I believe this is for you..."
"I'll be the judge of that..." Snake marched over to the delivery man and snatched the envelope out of his hand, before seeing that it was addressed to him. "...what do you know, it's for me! How could you tell?"
"Because it had your name on it...?" The delivery man eyed around, as Snake put the envelope away. Link's mailman tried to get up, only for Snake to kick him back to the ground. "Saw it wedged in the mailbox."
"Thank you, kind sir - you are a great man." Getting what he wanted, Snake went back inside the mansion as the FedEx delivery man dropped his package on the porch and left. Also stepped on Link's mailman, on his way down.
"Yuck...stepped on some crap," the delivery man grimaced as he returned to his delivery truck, while the mailman let out a defeated, self-deprecating moan.
Mailman: That delivery man was right...I am crap. Heck, I might be a living insult to crap everywhere. I don't deserve to exist.
Back inside the mansion, Snake saw Yusuke and Haru sharing some small gifts with Sonic, Crash, K.K. Slider, Lip, and the Luminary in the hallway. The moment he saw the Luminary, Snake slowly backed away.
"To spread the holiday spirit, Mrs. Claus and I wanted to share some small Christmas gifts," stated Yusuke, as he and Haru passed their trinkets around. Trinkets such as a keychain, a bracelet, and some bags of candy. "Consider it Santa's blessing."
"Aren't these party favors from the previous birthday parties we had?" asked Sonic, as Crash wasted no time to eat his bag of candy. Without even opening the bag, mind you. "So much for originality."
"Accept our gifts or Santa will force-feed you coals for Christmas..." Yusuke glared at Sonic, who put his bracelet on his wrist out of fright. Also ate from his bag of candy, just to appease Yusuke.
"I had no idea you were in such a giving mood, Yusuke," Lip said to the artist, as the Luminary turned around; that was Snake's cue to hightail out of the foyer before being spotted. It was too late...the Luminary caught a glimpse of him.
"That is Santa Claus to you, my dear." Yusuke happily patted Lip on her head - safe to say that Lip wouldn't get any coal for Christmas this year. "Or, if you wish, you can call me Father Christmas. Or Old Saint Nick. Or Kris Kringle..."
"We get it, we get it, you have a bunch of nicknames, whoop-dee-doo," Sonic interrupted Yusuke, angering the artist a second time. The blue hedgehog must really want to taste some coals. "Self-absorbed much, huh?"
"Please forgive me, Mrs. Claus..." Taking a deep breath, Yusuke recollected whatever dignity he had...before pulling out some coals and trying to force them down Sonic's mouth. Crash tried to stop Yusuke, but Yusuke elbowed the bandicoot away.
"Yusuke, stop that!" Haru said to the artist, reluctant to intervene; she didn't want to get physical with one of her friends. "This is not how you're supposed to act as Santa!"
"Do not call me by that name!" Apparently denying his own time, Yusuke mustered all his strength to try and pry Sonic's mouth wide open. "Accept your glorious fate, you naughty little hedgehog!"
"I better get going," the Luminary said to Lip and K.K. Slider, under the assumption that Snake was up to no good. "If Yusuke asks, tell him that I appreciated his gifts."
"Once again...I, am not, Yusuke!" shouted Yusuke, overhearing the Luminary as Sonic was starting to fight back. Yusuke had no shot at winning the Santa competition with the behavior that he was exhibiting.
"I think he said thank you," K.K. Slider said to the Luminary, leaving the mage satisfied; the Luminary left the foyer, now on the lookout for Snake.
Lottie and Impa both stopped by Mario's house, wanting to make sure that Mario, Spyro, and Hunter got all the items on the shopping list. When the otter and Sheikah stopped by...they were thoroughly disappointed.
"Some shopping you did," Impa said to Mario, as only a few items were in the living room - a lava lamp, a laundry iron, and a humidifier. There was plenty of other stuff...but what happened to it?
"It was Bowser, he stole-a the furniture!" stated Mario; many empty boxes were lying around on the living room floor. "He took everything that wasn't mine, threw 'em in his clown-a car, and vamoosed!"
"And you let him get away with it?" Lottie asked Mario, in disbelief that the plumber could let Bowser get away with being Bowser. Mario was off his game.
"To be fair, I could've stopped-a him...but he unboxed-a so many stuff. Having to put it back-a in would've been a hassle."
With the furniture that he accumulated, Bowser was going around to different neighbors making deliveries in the spirit of Christmas. The Koopa King stopped by a man's house, presenting to him a microwave - the one that had twelve settings.
"I already have a microwave in my kitchen," the man kindly said to Bowser, who stormed inside the man's house and saw the microwave sitting in the kitchen, Bowser smashed the microwave with his fist.
"Oh no! It looks like you need a new microwave," said Bowser, replacing the now broken microwave with the one in his hands. "There! Good as new!"
"My wife bought that microwave...but thanks, I guess." Happy about his good deed, Bowser patted the man on his shoulder before leaving his house. "Hey! Hey! Aren't you gonna show me how this thing works?"
"It's a microwave, you dummy - not that hard to figure out!" Bowser hopped in his clown car and flew away, hoping to make more deliveries. It was what Santa Claus would do.
In regards to the Santa competition, Doc Louis was certain that he had the whole thing in the bag. The boxing trainer believed he didn't have to do much work, for he had to do what he did best as Santa - letting good boys and girls sit on his lap and ask them what they wanted for Christmas. A simple yet effective method.
However, there was one minor problem...where would he find any good boys and girls? The Koopalings were off with King Dedede, and Toon Link and Young Link were doing their buddy cop duties. Villager was out fishing. Doc Louis was left with no other choice but to improvise. And he had a plethora of guests in the gaming room to do it with.
"I had to do it, my boy," Cranky Kong said to Donkey Kong, who was lamenting to his grandpa about being Santa. As well as the competition that he was embroiled in. "The author would've turned me into a joke!"
"But you already have the beard to pull it off!" stated Donkey Kong as he tugged at Cranky's beard, only for Cranky to smack DK's hand away with his cane. "You were the perfect fit!"
"CHRISTMAS SELFIE!" shouted Raihan, snapping a selfie with every person he laid his eyes on with his Rotom Phone. He took every self with his tongue out, while Piers looked on with disgust.
"It's not even Christmas yet..." seethed Piers, as he was hanging out with his little sister Marnie. Team Yell was nowhere to be found, thankfully. "...should be illegal to be that vain."
Rosalina: Since it's the holiday season - the one time of the year where Master Hand is in his most "charitable" mood - Anna lured some guests to Seattle to spend the holiday - all on Master Hand's behalf. Guests will be coming in and out of the mansion, mostly. We got some of the more "usual" folks today. And Travis Touchdown's wife.
Travis: Gotta say, this newfound lovefest between Master Hand and Anna has been sickening so far. Those two should just kiss already.
Sylvia Christel: *from afar* TRAVIS! Why do I see you standing next to that lady?
Travis: Sylvia, relax, she's from the party planning committee! Our relationship is only professional...
"All these wonderful guests, and not one of them wants to sit on my lap..." Doc Louis said to Little Mac and Leia, shaking his head in dismay. He was sitting in his chair, wondering when his presence would be acknowledged. "...what's up with that?"
"It's called a free country, Doc," Little Mac said to the boxing trainer, who was losing his patience; Doc Louis wasn't gonna wait around for an opportunity to literally fall on his lap. Or rather, sit on it.
"The first person that walks by is going on my lap...no questions asked." The unfortunate soul that would walk past Doc Louis was Piers. Hoo boy... "Piers of Spikemuth, come on down!"
"Huh?" Piers perked up, as he looked towards Doc Louis. "What do you want?" The rockstar walked over to Doc Louis...only for Doc to grab him aggressively and force him on his lap.
"Sit on my lap and embrace Santa Claus, boy!" Doc Louis greatly overpowered Piers, as he got the rockstar to sit on his lap. He had a firm vice grip on Piers, forbidding him any sort of escape.
"This is so weird...Marnie, do somethin'!" Piers looked towards Marnie, but Marnie showed no urgency towards saving her older brother from humiliation.
"No way - this is way too funny to pass up," responded Marnie, as she took out her Rotom phone and snapped a picture of Piers. Doc Louis got Marnie smiling - a super rare feat for just about anyone.
"Alright, Piers, what do you want for Christmas?" Doc Louis asked the rockstar, who was hoping that Raihan wouldn't look his way. Leon seeing him was another worst-case scenario. "Say what's on your mind!"
"All I want is to get off your lap..." muttered Piers as he folded his arms, accepting his fate; he couldn't believe that Little Mac and Leia were letting Doc Louis get away with this.
"That's a very lousy gift to want for Christmas, son. Why not use your imagination?" At this point, Piers had enough of Doc Louis as he tried to wiggle his way out of the boxing trainer's hold. But Doc refused to let him go.
"Don't leave yet bro, this is getting good," Marnie encouraged Piers, as she was now recording her brother on her Rotom phone. Marnie was a dead girl - and she didn't care in the slightest.
"I've had it with this..." growled Piers as he took out his Poke Ball, summoning his ace Pokemon Obstagoon. Doc Louis wouldn't want a goon like Obstagoon roughing him up. "Obstagoon, Throat Chop this man."
"Hey now! No one throat chops Santa Claus!" shouted Doc Louis as he pushed Piers off of him, while Obstagoon stared him down. "Elves, put that Pokemon back in his Poke Ball!"
"Pretty sure that's against the rules..." stated Little Mac, but he and Leia wouldn't have to worry about getting their hands dirty. Piers returned Obstagoon back into his Poke Ball.
"Hehe...worked like a charm," snarled Piers, happy to be off of Doc Louis' lap. It was one of the more humiliating moments of his life. "Let's go, Marnie. And don't think about sharing those pictures."
"Duly noted," responded Marnie as she walked away with Piers...while sneakily sharing the unflattering pictures of Piers online. She just couldn't help herself.
Marnie: Piers always said that he wanted to be the life of the party...I'm gonna give him what he wants. Just not the way that he intended.
"That was good, but it wasn't enough," said Doc Louis, who wanted more folks on his lap to fulfill his quota as Santa Claus. "I need more! More!" Morgan and Marc both heard Doc Louis' cry from the table soccer game and got to thinking.
"Wanna get grandpa on his lap?" Morgan asked Marc with a mischievous grin, and Marc was on the same page as he smiled in response. Deserting their table soccer game, Morgan and Marc both grabbed Chrom and dragged him away.
"A warning would be nice, you know!" Chrom frowned at his two grandkids who dragged him closer to Doc Louis. Doc Louis looked at Chrom with glee, as he had the prince intimidated. "I don't like where this is going...!"
"Well, unfortunately for you...we do," smiled Marc, as he and Morgan forced Chrom unto Doc Louis' lap against his will. Chrom was in Doc Louis' possession now, as Doc gripped the professor to keep him from moving.
"Aren't you a big boy!" Doc Louis gleamed at Chrom, who was giving both Morgan and Marc a death glare. Morgan had her hands over her mouth to conceal her laughter, while Marc had to turn away and laugh. "Tell me, son, what do you want for Christmas?"
"Something to punish both of my grandkids with..." Chrom certainly wasn't going to get any Christmas presents for Morgan and Marc anytime soon.
While Doc Louis was handling his Santa business in the gaming room, Rodin on the other hand was making magic happen at the lounge. There was a sign above the lounge entrance, which attracted the attention of Link and Zelda as they walked by.
"'Santa Therapy'?" Zelda read the sign out loud, having every right to be highly skeptical. "Is this what your competition led to, Link?"
"I haven't told those guys a single thing," Link pleaded his innocence to Zelda, as he and the princess ventured inside the lounge. There they found Rodin, with a host of folks sitting around in a circle - Waluigi, Ike, Soren, Andrew Oikonny, Leon Powalski, Reaper, and Sombra. It was almost like there was some kind of Alcoholics Anonymous meeting taking place.
"And then...and then..." said Waluigi, holding back tears as he mustered the courage to say what he wanted to say. "...HE GAVE ME SOCKS FOR CHRISTMAS!" The lanky man finally let it all out, as Sombra patted him on his back.
"There, there, Waluigi," Rodin said encouragingly to the lanky man, who was crying his eyes out. Reaper muttered something to himself, as he grumpily had his arms folded. "It is clear as day that Wario is a lazy, careless fool."
"But he's supposed to be my best friend..." Waluigi looked up at Rodin, his eyes already red as ever from crying so much. "...socks, underwear, and the like are nothing but cop-out Christmas gifts."
"Wario's your best friend? Couldn't tell..." Reaper said to Waluigi, causing the lanky man to cry a second time. The mercenary leaned in close to Sombra and whispered to the hacker: "...you owe me big time for forcing me into this."
"I know you're still upset about that teddy bear I got you last Christmas," Sombra whispered back, as Reaper leaned away and straightened up in his chair. "Now's your chance to let it all out."
"I'll just keep my thoughts to myself..." Much to Reaper's chagrin, Waluigi was still sobbing away. "...can someone please get him to stop?!"
"Link, Zelda, come and have a seat!" Rodin said to the Hylian couple, bringing their attention to the few available chairs that were circled around. "We are having an open, honest conversation about ourselves."
"Just so you know, we're not gonna be here forever..." Link made known to Rodin, as he and Zelda took a seat. They took a seat next to Waluigi, who finally stopped crying. "...so what is this all for?"
"I call it...Santa Therapy! It's a safe space where those who received crappy gifts for Christmas this year consult Santa Claus - a.k.a. yours truly - for solace and additional coping."
"Should Santa Claus lay off on the cigarettes?" Soren asked Rodin, as he saw the demon sticking his cigar in his mouth. Taking offense, Rodin angrily stood up and stared down at Soren.
"Maybe not, but I ain't gonna lay off on the beating I'm gonna give ya if you don't shut your dang mouth..." Rodin slowly sat back down, still staring at Soren and hoping that the wind sage got the message.
Rodin: Link said that the basis of the competition was to spread joy, but sometimes joy is very hard to come by. Especially when there are so many bums out there that have no clue how to buy the perfect gift! My "Santa Therapy" is meant to be a reprieve for those who fell victim to horrible Christmas shoppers - and also a good excuse for me to mess with my clients. Wolf came up with the idea.
"Now that we have both the man and woman of the mansion..." said Rodin as he placed all his focus on Link and Zelda, who were both dreading what the demon had to say. "...how about we pick at their brains a little?"
"We're only observers," Zelda stated to Rodin, choosing not to partake in any sort of Santa Therapy. Especially with Rodin leading the conversation. "We have nothing to contribute."
"Really? So you never got a crappy Christmas gift from your husband? Ever?" Perhaps Zelda did, but she didn't want to elaborate on what it was. "Tell us about that mug Link got for you that one year. What did it say? 'World's Okayest Girlfriend'?"
"It was supposed to be an ironic joke!" Link defended himself; he only bought that mug as an inside joke meant for only him and Zelda. "Also, I was too cheap to buy something else."
"The mug at least served its purpose," stated Zelda, with the implication behind her statement causing Link to feel gutted. "I can say that much."
"Hmm...moving on," said Rodin, not getting the reaction that he desired from Zelda. Rather than focusing on Link, the demon instead turned to Reaper. "What about you, Reaper? Have you ever been wronged during Christmas, when one of your Talon buddies..."
"I don't celebrate Christmas...I HATE Christmas," Reaper interrupted Rodin, as Sombra smirked to herself knowing that Reaper was lying through his mask. "Every year I wish for coal, and nothing else."
"Reaper was super happy when Moira got him a Christmas sweater," said Sombra, angering Reaper greatly as the mercenary began seething. "He looked so adorable in it!"
"Why would you even mention that?!" Reaper was about to snap...snap Sombra's neck in two. And maybe even fourths. "I have a reputation to uphold..."
"Nobody really gives a crap, Gabriel." Completely done with Sombra, Reaper grumpily sat back in his seat and folded his arms as he waited for Santa Therapy to end.
"Leon Powalski, what horrible Christmas gifts would you like to share?" Rodin asked the chameleon, as Link and Zelda kept a close eye on Reaper. Just in case the mercenary ended the therapy session violently, out of spite.
Bowser was at another house, this time delivering a bicycle - the one that Mario called an exercise bike. Bowser would sell the bike as such to one grandma who didn't know any better.
"Ride on this bike in your living room, and you'll have rock-solid calves in no time!" Bowser said to the grandma at the front door, who was easily enchanted by the bike. "Just don't take it outside, it'll be a safety hazard."
"Thank you!" the grandma thanked Bowser, leaning in close and giving the Koopa King a kiss on the cheek. Bowser appreciated it very much. "I'll be a young girl again with this."
"Right on! One more thing that I should mention, the wheels can't be replaced. So tread lightly!"
Ryuji had done it. He found a genuine fan of AEW (other than Banjo and Corrin) and apparently, it only took him an hour or two to find such a fan. All he had to do was present this fan to Pit, and he would secure a victory - albeit a needless one - over the angel. Just had to reel this fan to Cafe Leblanc.
"This coffee of yours is absolutely stupendous, Joker!" Blathers said to the young man, as he and Brewster were at Cafe Leblanc trying out Joker's coffee. "Most certainly worth giving up working at the museum today."
"Much agreed...a shame Harriet has to miss out," said Brewster, who was a huge fan of the coffee. Real recognizing real. "Needs some pigeon milk." The pigeon took out a bottle of pigeon milk and poured a small bit into his coffee.
"You let some hairdresser run your museum in your absence?" Joker asked Blathers, finding the owl's decision-making rather risky. Blathers didn't seem all that worried, for what it's worth.
"I trust Harriet to run my finances," admitted Blathers, his confession barely doing much to quell whatever concerns Joker had. "Being in charge of the museum is nothing for her."
"Oh, Pit!" Ryuji called out to the angel, as he stood at the cafe entrance. Any other instance Joker would be delighted to see Ryuji at the cafe, but today just wasn't one of those days. "Guess who found a genuine fan of AEW?"
"You actually found one?" asked Pit, who expected Ryuji's search for a fan to last one or two days. The fact that it took much shorter was awfully suspect. "Cool, bring them on in!"
So Ryuji beckoned to this genuine fan of AEW, and Pit and the other baristas could not believe who Ryuji brought in...Ventus, of the Wayfinder trio. Ventus meekly entered the cafe, recognizing how surprised the others were.
"Hey guys," Ventus greeted the baristas, as he and Ryuji sat at the cafe counter next to Blathers and Brewster. "How's it going?" The baristas started giggling, and Ryuji wished to know what was wrong.
"This guy is a genuine fan of AEW?" Kirby asked Ryuji, sincerely hoping that the delinquent wasn't being serious...but he was. "Ventus has only been around in our universe for two weeks! Two weeks!"
"True dat, but in the span of two weeks, Ven has truly fallen in love with and embraced AEW," proclaimed Ryuji as he wrapped his arm around Ventus. "He is, dare I say it...ALL ELITE!"
"Uh, yeah, that's what I am..." Ventus sheepishly said, albeit greatly unsure of himself; he was just playing along at this point.
Ventus: It happened so fast - Ryuji took me to the movie room, where he forced me to watch his favorite wrestling show. Just a bunch of guys doing flips, jumping off the ropes, that kind of stuff. When he asked me how I liked it after the episode went off, I just said that it was nice. Not exactly a strong word of confidence, but Ryuji gave me a script to read off of afterward.
"Is Ven one of those fabled 'lapsed fans' that you love talking so much about?" Viridi asked Ryuji, who was disgusted by the mockery that was taking place. Time for Ryuji to shut the goddess of nature up.
"Okay then, Mr. All Elite...who's your favorite AEW wrestler?" Pit challenged Ventus, to see how much the Keyblade wielder knew. He anticipated Ventus either botching a wrestler's name or even mentioning someone from WWE.
"My favorite wrestler in AEW...is Bryan Danielson," answered Ventus, and he was right on the money - Bryan Danielson was very much an AEW wrestler, one of the more popular ones in fact. However, Pit was not impressed.
"Bryan Danielson? Don't you mean Daniel Bryan? The name that he's most known for? The name that he won the WWE title with, and used on that reality show with his wife?" Pit was being aggressive, and Ventus had no idea how to counter it.
"Bryan Danielson is his real name, Pit...cut him some slack," Ryuji said to the angel, who was certain that Bryan Danielson was more of an alias. "If you must know, Ventus likes AEW for more than just the wrestlers. "Isn't that right?"
"Uh, yeah, it's true!" replied Ventus, before remembering one of the lines he was supposed to recite in the script he was given. "The work rate in AEW is phenomenal!"
"Work rate?" Blathers inquired while was eavesdropping; it was hard for him and Brewster to keep away from the ongoing conversation. "Are you discussing professional wrestling or football?"
"I didn't know there was such a thing as 'work rate' in American football," said Pit, his ignorance profoundly showing - his own ignorance would cause Blathers to faint. "Those analytical football nerds will never stop having their way!"
"He's talking about Australian rules football, Pit," Kirby corrected the angel, who went from curious to upset in a snap. And for a silly reason.
"Dang it! What is it with other all these countries copying America? Why can't it be the other way around?!" Clearly, Pit was unaware of America copying various Chinese products. Blathers should brush him up on basic economics.
"Also, the matches in AEW are so good," added Ventus, and it was painfully obvious to Joker and Viridi that the Keyblade wielder was reciting lines. "They almost feel, dare I say it...real."
"The matches in WWE are good as well," stated Pit, as Ryuji couldn't help but snort at the angel's claim. Who knows the last time Ryuji deemed anything coming from WWE good. "Especially that boneyard match the Undertaker had at Wrestlemania last year!"
"It was a good match, I'll admit...but it wasn't great," said Ryuji, who had high standards for wrestling matches. Very high standards, at that. "Matches like those only prove one thing, that wrestling...is FAKE!"
Viridi suddenly gasped, as Ryuji echoed a truth that Pit always considered a lie. Pit, who for the longest deemed professional wrestling to be real as ever, was seething at Ryuji.
"Wrestling is real, you know..." the angel said his parting words to Ryuji, before taking off his cafe apron and storming out of the cafe. Ryuji was watching as Pit left, hoping that he didn't upset him too much.
"Nice going, Ryuji," a disappointed Joker said to his delinquent friend, who was facing a ton of heat for what he did Viridi might even give Ryuji an earful. "Way to hurt Pit's feelings."
"Hey, not like you lost anything of value," responded Ryuji, ticking off Viridi and causing the goddess of nature to glare at him. "What? It's the truth!"
"Thanks for nothing, Ryuji..." Ventus said to the delinquent, partially blaming himself for Pit running away as he too left the cafe. The "genuine" AEW fan was now calling it quits.
"Hope you got what you wanted," Kirby said to Ryuji, as he and the other baristas were forced to resume work during Pit's absence.
Snake was in his room, having brought the envelope with him. He had ripped the envelope open and saw a bunch of pictures inside - just as Hal promised. The former spy was speaking with Hal right now through the codec, while he was looking through the pictures.
"Obtained those pictures from Mei Ling, she took them herself," Hal explained to Snake over the codec, while Snake had the pictures on his bed. "Thought that maybe you would want to see them."
"Gotta admit, she's not that bad of a photographer...for a woman," quipped Snake, unaware of the Luminary peeking at him through the small crack in his bedroom door. "Was that sexist? Tell me that wasn't sexist..."
"Yes, it was - very much so. We'll keep that between the both of us." The Luminary was trying to get a closer look at Snake, sticking his nose in through the door, until...
"is my presents requested?" a certain skeleton asked the Luminary, who looked back and saw Sans standing behind him. Perhaps the last person that the Luminary wanted to see. "i'm santa claus."
"Shh! I'm trying to keep a low profile..." The Luminary turned back around, only to look up the door wide open. The mage looked up and saw Snake peering down at him.
"Not sure if you know this yet, but stalking someone is not cool," Snake said to the Luminary; the only thing he wanted for Christmas was for the mage to stay off his case. "Take it from me." The former spy slammed the door on the Luminary, before locking it for good measure.
"oof...locked out of the room," remarked Sans, as the Luminary aggressively slammed his fists on Snake's bedroom door. "try talking to the lock. communication is key."
"This is all your fault, Sans," the Luminary blamed the skeleton, believing that he would have sneaked his way inside Snake's room if not for any interruption.
Sans: Everyone knows that one of the best ways to spread cheer is to tell jokes - and thankfully, i have holiday puns for days. sadly, none of the others seem to appreciate my comedy. they must be very...claus-trophobic.
"Enjoy your Christmas gifts, Kamek!" Yusuke called out to the Magikoopa, who was high above in the hallway flying on his broom. Kamek had a few party favors...erm, small Christmas gifts in his possession that he got from Yusuke and Haru.
"Also, that keychain isn't edible!" added Haru, who coughed out a keychain. Why a guy like Kamek would even attempt to eat a keychain was anyone's guess. "I kinda sneezed on it a little, by accident."
"Now you tell me..." responded Kamek, wiping the saliva off on his robe before putting away the keychain in his imaginary pocket. "...don't know why it looked so appetizing. Cursed peppermint design." Kamek flew off, while Yusuke and Haru went on their merry way.
"Told you this would be a good way to rid ourselves of those..." Yusuke spoke with Haru, only to stop in the hallway when he encountered the Luminary and Sans. Yusuke focused most of his attention on Sans, whom he deemed a worthy competitor.
"Hi Sans - I really like your..." Haru said the skeleton, before being silenced when Yusuke placed his finger on her lips. Yusuke shook his head at Haru like a disappointed father.
"Do not engage with the enemy unless it's trash talk," Yusuke advised Haru, as Sans dug into his pocket and pulled out a red ornament. "We are to tear Sans down - not build him up."
"this red ball is orna-meant to go on the christmas tree," Sans presented to Yusuke and Haru, with the latter struggling to hide her smile. Sans then took out a green mitten. "or maybe I can hang this up instead. I'm kinda s-mitten with it."
"Haha," Haru giggled ever so slightly, as a quick glare from Yusuke got the young woman to keep her mouth shut. Yusuke would much prefer for Haru to tell Sans how crappy his puns were.
"Luminary, as Santa Claus, I command you to repel Sans away with your magic," Yusuke commanded of the mage, as he had grown tired of Sans. "His lackluster Christmas jokes are a detriment to mansion morale."
"But Sans said that he was Santa Claus," the Luminary pointed out to Yusuke, who groaned in frustration as he pinched the crown of his nose. "So which one of you is supposed to be the real deal?"
"You do not understand - Sans is obstructing my path of being this year's Santa Claus. I do not care for his Santa suit or his puns...I just want him gone!"
"you can't just wish away Santa Claus," Sans said to Yusuke as he pulled out a gingerbread - dude had an item for every pun in the book. "let's put aside our differences, and get this gingerbread."
"Absolutely not! By no means will I lose to the likes of you. Luminary, do as I say - begone with this skeletal fiend!" Yusuke got so loud, that he accrued the attention of Snake as the former spy angrily opened his bedroom door.
"Can you please keep it quiet, I'm on a call with..." Snake yelled at Yusuke, before stopping when he saw the Luminary still lingering outside his room. "...what are you still doing here? Get lost, you weirdo."
"I'm planning on getting lost soon," the Luminary promised to Snake, who stared at the mage for a few seconds before slamming his door shut. That staredown was meant to send a message.
"What's his problem?" Yusuke asked the Luminary, as he did not appreciate being yelled at. Nobody yells at Santa Claus and gets away with it.
"Snake's been acting super secretive as of late. I've been trying to keep a close eye on him, and see what he's hiding."
"Trying to hide something, hm? He will be delighted to know that no one can ever keep a secret from Santa Claus..." Yusuke walked away, as Haru followed after the artist. "...we'll be back. Going to evaluate our coal inventory."
With Pyra's adept baking skills, and Mythra's...interesting cookie designs, several batches of Christmas cookies were produced. Pyra and Mythra brought these cookies to the gaming room for everyone to try, as Steven Stone and Moira O'Deorian were helping themselves.
"These cookies are simply delicious," Moira offered her critique, taking every little thing into consideration - from the icing to the texture, and everything else. "You ladies have most certainly done an excellent job."
"Best cookies I've tasted in a while," remarked Steven, and he wasn't exaggerating just to puff up the Blades; he was speaking from the heart. "I beg of you to share your recipe!"
"Nuh-uh, Pyra's not giving away her recipe that easily," responded Mythra, bumming out Steven greatly; a great cook never reveals their secrets. Knowing Mythra, she would disclose to everyone every secret of hers in the book.
Steven Stone: *sighs* Foiled yet again...
"Mind if I have some?" a familiar face asked Pyra and Mythra, taking a Christmas cookie off the plate. It was Pandoria, who scarfed down her cookie as if there was no tomorrow. "Sorry, hadn't had lunch yet."
"Pandoria?" Pyra uttered the Blade's name. "But if you're here, then that would mean..." Would you know it, Pyra and Mythra both spotted Pandoria's Driver, Zeke, sitting on Doc Louis' lap. Such a likely position for Zeke to be in.
"I would like a new eyepatch for Christmas, Santa Claws!" Zeke requested to Doc Louis, who had grown tired of the Crown Prince as he had his chin resting on the palm of his hand. "And maybe some spare change under my pillow as well."
"I ain't giving you any money, that's the Tooth Fairy's job," stated Doc Louis, not having it in him to ask Little Mac and Leia to remove Zeke. "Also, the name is Santa Claus!"
"This is Zeke's first time meeting Santa Claus," Pandoria explained to Pyra and Mythra, as she brought the two Blades over to Zeke. "Or any iteration of Santa Claus, that is. Only did it because Santa was 'depressed'."
"Depressed from what, being so fat?" snorted Mythra, as Pyra shook her head at the fellow Blade for her fat-shaming ways. Fat-shaming Doc Louis - or Santa Claus in general - was not cool.
"Nah, from people not sitting on his lap. It's kinda pathetic watching it in real-time." And it must be really embarrassing for Little Mac and Leia, by association.
"I literally sat on his lap five minutes ago," stated Steven, as he and Moira came over. Probably to grab some more Christmas cookies. "Thought that would've made him feel better..."
"A man's ego is never to be trifled with," said Moira, watching as Doc Louis was now pushing Zeke off of him. Doc Louis prevailed, as Zeke landed on the floor.
"But Santa Claus, I wasn't even done!" Zeke snapped on Doc Louis as he angrily stood up, only for Doc to point behind the Crown Prince. Disgruntled, Zeke walked away, only to bump into Pyra and Mythra. "Ooh! Are those cookies?"
"They're not for you," replied Mythra, but Zeke didn't care in the slightest as he snatched the cookies away from Pyra and scarfed the entire plate of cookies down in one sitting. "Good thing we have more in the kitchen..."
"There are more cookies in the kitchen?! Take me this instant!" As Zeke was anxious to get his hands on some more Christmas cookies, Donkey Kong walked by Doc Louis and saw how miserable Little Mac was.
"Save me..." Little Mac whispered to Donkey Kong, as a small cry for help. Donkey Kong could look into Little Mac's eyes and could tell how despondent the boxer was.
"Save you from what?" asked Donkey Kong, only to see Doc Louis grab Cuphead by his head and pull the talking cup towards him. Poor Cuphead couldn't even walk by without being bothered.
"Let me go, let me go!" shouted Cuphead as he tried to resist, but it was no use as Doc Louis pulled the talking cup onto his lap. "Aw, shucks..."
"Doc Louis has developed a fetish for people sitting on his lap," Little Mac explained to Donkey Kong, as Doc Louis was now asking Cuphead what he wanted for Christmas. "I think that competition Link had issued did him in."
"Oh, I see...he's still doing that, huh?" asked Donkey Kong, thinking of a brilliant plan that would put an end to Doc Louis' shenanigans. "I might know just the guy who can put an end to this. It's gonna take some cooperation, though."
"Cooperation from who?" asked Cranky as he came over to his grandson, who was smiling when he found the guy he wanted. "I don't like the way you're smiling at me..."
Bowser was back at it again, and this time he was giving away the flat-screen television. This was his arguably biggest sell yet.
"This channel has every TV channel you can think of," Bowser explained to a young man, speaking with him at his apartment. "Also has all the streaming stuff! HBO Max, Paramount, Peacock, Disney Plus, and even all the illegal streaming stuff."
"Illegal streaming stuff?! Yeah, I"m hooked!" the young man exclaimed as he rubbed his hands together with excitement. "How much for the TV?"
"It's practically free! Here you go!" Bowser handed the television to the young man, who felt like a little kid on Christmas. "Happy holidays, my man!"
"Wow, thanks! You're the best!" Happy with his free gift, the young man closed his front door, and a satisfied Bowser went down the apartment steps. Impa was spying on Bowser, peeking around the corner from the side of the apartment.
Santa Therapy was coming along well, and more folks had joined the therapy session in Rosalina, Master Mummy, Gil, and Alucard. Link and Zelda remained at the lounge, with slight anticipation that Rodin would pull off something up his sleeve.
"Some fool had bought me a garlic press for Christmas," said Alucard as he revealed a garlic roller that he got on Christmas three years ago. "I can't really use it, for obvious reasons."
"Obvious reasons such as...?" inquired Ike, as Alucard stared at the swordsman and pitied his intelligence - or the lack thereof. "Oh, that's right...go on."
"I've been meaning to return this garlic press, but none of the stores would take it. One store even said that such a kitchen appliance wasn't viable."
"Then they're just idiots," Rodin said to Alucard, as he was more than happy to take the garlic press off the dhampir's hands. "Do you know who bought you that garlic roller?"
"The present was addressed to me, but it never said who it was from on the name tag. Only opened the gift out of my own morbid curiosity."
"Just be assured that whoever bought you that garlic press at least showed you some consideration. In the meantime, I can snuff out this mystery gift buyer and give 'em a world of hurt!"
"Yeah, they really deserve it, big time..." Ike chuckled nervously as he eyed around the lounge, hoping that Rodin wouldn't look his way.
Ike: True story, I originally wanted to buy Alucard an onion peeler but those were out of stock. I never realized how many tools there were for specific vegetables - which was why I even bought one in the first place. Super cheap!
"Let's see what our favorite maiden has to say...Rosalina," Rodin turned to the mother of Lumas, who was patiently waiting her turn. "What do you have to share with us?"
"Ganondorf got me two gifts last Christmas that have me concerned," replied Rosalina as she took out a necklace, one that had blue gems of varying shades. Perfect for Rosalina. "This is the first - a necklace."
"So what, it's just a necklace," said Andrew, who had some questions about how Ganondorf was able to afford jewelry. Never mind the fact that Ganondorf was a king. "Is it cursed or something?"
"Even worse...it was stolen." A stolen necklace?! That got some folks in the lounge to gasp. "Ganondorf confessed to me that he stole that necklace from an old lady at a rest home."
"That's not all that bad," Rodin offered his take, showing how bad his moral compass was as Santa. Not too surprising, given that he was smoking. "I'd steal someone else's valuable possession too if it meant finding a Christmas gift for my friend or partner."
"Also...he got me this." Rosalina took out the second Christmas gift she got from Ganondorf...a razor. Zelda and Sombra were both offended.
"No, he didn't..." said Sombra as she held her hands to her mouth, as some of the men looked around wondering what the big deal was. "...please tell me that is just for your face."
"...and for 'everything else...especially the pits.'" At this point, Zelda and Sombra had heard enough, while some of the men were still confused. "You could only imagine how I felt."
"I could see why you would be offended by that razor," Rodin said to Rosalina, as he extended his sympathies to the mother of Lumas. "It can really send the wrong message to a woman. The one thing you can do to atone for this...is by slapping Ganondorf."
"Slapping Ganondorf?" asked a shocked Link, as Reaper was nodding his head. Reaper was starting to enjoy Santa's Therapy, all of a sudden. "What good would that possibly do?"
"Simple - it would set Ganon straight. Just give him a good ol' smack, Rosalina, and he will never buy you another bad Christmas gift again!"
"No, Rosalina, you mustn't," Zelda advised the mother of Lumas, as Rodin was about to scold the princess. "Violence is not the answer."
"False: violence is always the answer," stated Reaper, only sticking around if it meant seeing Rosalina slap someone. Would be slightly out of character for Rosalina, but Reaper would take it. "Has been since the start of time."
"You tell 'em, Reaper!" Rodin said to the mercenary, going where no Santa has ever gone before - advocating violence during the holidays. "So how about it, Rosalina? You gonna slap Ganondorf, or what?"
"That wouldn't be the wisest thing to do..." Rosalina responded with much nervousness - and would you know it, Ganondorf wandered inside the lounge, looking around.
"What is this...'Santa Therapy'?" Ganondorf asked everyone in the lounge, as Rodin was silently egging Rosalina on to go over to the demon lord. "Rosalina, why are you a part of this?"
"Because...reasons," replied Rosalina, bravely standing up and heading over to Ganondorf. Rosalina felt the nervousness building up inside of her as she met Ganondorf, face to face.
"I see you have that razor I gave you last Christmas. I can tell that it's unused. Why haven't you used it yet? Doesn't suit your style?"
"It's not so much as it is a sense of style...the point of the matter is..." Rosalina hesitated for a moment, as Ganondorf leaned in close. "...the point of the matter is..."
Then out of nowhere, Rosalina slapped Ganondorf hard, smacking the demon lord in the face. As one would expect, Ganondorf was caught off-guard - both by the slap and how hard Rosalina hit him. Everyone had gasped in response.
"No way, she actually did it!" exclaimed Sombra, as she had the biggest smile on her face. Reaper, feeling proud of Rosalina, stood up and applauded the mother of Lumas.
"Do it again, I missed it," Waluigi said to Rosalina; apparently, he wanted to take a picture of Rosalina slapping Ganondorf as he had his phone out.
"I'm so sorry..." Rosalina apologized to Ganondorf, holding her hand as if it was infected with a deadly virus. "...I just...had to let it out." Ganondorf was extremely angry, but he wasn't angry with Rosalina.
"Rodin! Was that your doing?" the demon lord snapped, as Rodin was just chilling in his chair with a cigar in his mouth. "Why did Rosalina slap me?"
"Hey, it's not that often a woman slaps you," stated Rodin, acting as if being slapped by a lady was a good thing. Like some kind of rite of passage. "Bayo has slapped me plenty of times, and you don't hear me complainin'."
"So it was your fault! You're done, Rodin!" Ganondorf brushed past Rosalina, en route to Rodin. Link tried to stop Ganon, but the demon lord pushed the Hylian out of the way as he grabbed Rodin by the throat.
"It was nothing personal...I just wanted Rosa to share her feelings!" Rodin was held up in the air by Ganondorf, who slammed the demon onto the floor. Ganondorf then spent the next couple of seconds putting Rodin in a chokehold, making him pay for what he had done.
"Good talk, Rodin," Andrew said to the demon, who was being choked out, as the pilot and others quietly left the lounge. "Santa Therapy" was now over.
Waluigi: Learned a valuable lesson from Rodin's therapy session today. Whenever someone gets you a lame Christmas gift, you give that person the five fingers to the face for the trouble they've brought upon you. The guys at the tower are all gonna get smacked real soon, especially Mr. Resetti. I dread seeing his name on any of my Christmas gifts.
"Keep your filthy hands off of Santa!" Rodin barked at Ganondorf, who repeatedly slammed the demon's head against the floor. "This ain't right!"
"I don't care who you are, you know better than to manipulate Rosa!" Ganondorf shouted in response, as Link and Zelda both looked on from a distance.
"Guess this means Ganondorf is out of the running as Santa," Link said to Zelda, as he and the princess walked to the lounge exit where Rosalina was. "Take good care of Ganondorf, okay Rosalina?"
"I"ll try," replied Rosalina, as Link and Zelda exited the lounge; Rosalina went back to watching Ganondorf beat up Rodin, wondering when would be the perfect time to intervene.
In the event that the idol singers' contracts weren't renewed in March, Fox and Falco wanted to have their talent host one last holiday concert at the mansion. The pilots were planning out the concert with Itsuki as they stepped inside the Star Records room.
"We should have the female idols dress up as Santa's little helpers," Falco discussed with Fox and Itsuki, who were both skeptical of the idea. "Whatever that is. It would be..."
"Hold on...I think we have company," Itsuki said to the pilots, coming to a stop as he heard someone sigh behind the Star Records desk. Itsuki, Fox, and Falco cautiously went over to the desk...and saw a saddened Pit sitting underneath.
"Hey..." Pit greeted Itsuki and the pilots; he didn't bother to look up, but he still felt the presence of the Star Records heads. Poor guy was down in the dumps.
"Pit, how long have you been hiding in our office?" Fox asked the angel, who finally found the courage to hold his head up. He was looking at Fox with heartbroken eyes.
"Do you think that wrestling is fake?" All Pit wanted was confirmation - confirmation that pro wrestling was real, from the wrestling gimmicks to the storylines and everything else. Fox had a tough time answering the question.
"Isn't the answer obvious?" asked Itsuki, who found it unbearably hard to have any sympathy for Pit. "The truth has been clear for many years."
"See? Even you guys know that pro wrestling is real." Pit threw ups arms up before resting his head on his knees. "Why won't Ryuji understand..."
"Let's think over this for a second, Pit," Fox said to the angel as he knelt down at his side, with Pit looking up at the pilot. "If wrestling was real, would a redneck have free reign to beat up his boss every Monday?"
"Maybe his boss liked getting beat up. Different societal rules back then."
"If wrestling was real, would a wrestler get burned alive...and show up the next week?"
"Not unless that wrestler had fire repellent. Some guys have to think ahead."
"If wrestling was real, would some old lady have sex with a black guy, and give birth to a hand?"
"Something must've gone wrong with the sperm donor and...yeah, I got nothing for that one."
"Have you guys seen Pit?" a certain Keyblade wielder asked Fox and company as he entered the Star Records room. Ventus was looking around for Pit, as he had an apology to make.
"He's right over here," replied Falco as he pointed at the desk; Ventus came over and spotted Pit, as Fox moved away to give Ven some room.
"You again..." Pit glared at Ventus, sensing that Ryuji had sent the Keyblade wielder just to harass him. "...gonna talk up a storm about your precious little 'work rate'? I don't care for your nerdy analytics..."
"No - just wanted to say sorry about earlier," Ventus apologized to Pit, who softened his face when he saw how sincere Ventus was. "To be honest with you, I'm not really a fan of AEW. Or wrestling."
"You aren't? So what was that whole thing about in the cafe? Almost felt like you and Ryuji were trying to recruit me!"
"Ryuji made me watch that wrestling show, and because I said that it was 'nice', he asked me to help him own you. I should've known better."
"Yeah, owning Pit isn't that big of a deal," Fox said to Ventus, letting him know how effortlessly easy it was to dominate the angel at just about anything. "No offense, Pit."
"None taken!" responded Pit, knowing what he was all about, as he had one super important question to ask Ventus. "Ven, answer me this...do you truly, honestly believe that wrestling is real?"
"Based on what I saw..." replied Ventus as he thought to himself for a moment - shouldn't require that much thought. "...I'd say that it's real in every sense of the word."
"My man!" Pit happily gave a high-five to Ventus, who sneakily turned around at Fox and company and gave them a thumbs up. Much like when he was asked about his thoughts on AEW, Ventus didn't exactly give Pit a strong word of confidence.
Ventus: Pro wrestling...is totally fake. It's 100% fake. *pauses* Would it be better to say it's scripted? That wouldn't offend too many people, would it?
After his conversation with Hal, Snake left his room to take a lengthy bathroom break. The first folks he ran into on his way back to his room were Pyra and Mythra, who had some Christmas cookies.
"Please take some of our cookies," Pyra pleaded to Snake, before turning around and looking down the hallway for safety. "Zeke is super obsessed with them...hurry!"
"Okay, I'll take my sweet time, then," smiled Snake as he playfully ate the Christmas cookies at a slow pace. He was moving almost in slow motion, much to the Blades' chagrin.
"Pyra and Mythra! I know you didn't bake another batch of cookies without me!" Zeke called out to the Blades, his voice much closer than Pyra and Mythra both anticipated. Anxiety was running high.
"Can you possibly go any slower?" Mythra asked Snake through clenched teeth, as Snake was slowly eating a tiny morsel of the cookie in his hand.
"It's not my fault your friend is a greedy pig," said Snake; Pyra conjured a flame on her hand as a threat to Snake, who ate the entire cookie in one gulp. "I'll just have that one cookie, thank you very much..."
"Good," responded Pyra; she wouldn't give any more of the cookies to Snake, knowing how much the former spy wasted her time. "We'll just make sure you won't get any more."
"Fine then, be petty all you want." Snake went to his room, putting his hand on the doorknob to his bedroom door. "Just be aware that I can..."
As Snake opened the door, he was soon greeted by a rush of coals pouring out from his room. Snake stood there dumbfounded, as Pyra and Mythra were trying their best not to laugh.
"Uh oh...looks like someone made it onto the naughty list!" exclaimed Yusuke as he and Haru showed up almost right on time. Their timing was impeccable. "You have been a very naughty boy, Snake!"
"Look, man, this is not funny," Snake said to Yusuke, contemplating how much clean-up work he would have to do. Wouldn't hurt to see if Mr. Game and Watch was available. "I don't mind pranks, but this is too far. I leave my room open for one bathroom break..."
"Whoever said that this was a prank? This is only a sanction for your recent behavior." The fact that the prank really wasn't a prank only made Snake even more ticked.
"What recent behavior? Don't tell me that the Luminary was snitching on me..." Snake's deepest concerns were realized, as Yusuke smirked.
"Only told me how secretive you were. And such secrecy deserves one to be punished. You have been a very naughty boy, Snake."
"Talk about the pot calling the kettle black..." someone said to Yusuke, who was surprised to see Link standing behind him, with Zelda. Link and Zelda both seemed disappointed in Yusuke.
"L-Link! Zelda! Hello..." Yusuke was nervously looking around, thinking of a way to absolve himself from any sort of fault. "...it's not what you think!"
"Filling a man's room with coals is not very nice, Yusuke," Zelda scolded the artist, as Snake got a head start on removing the coals from his room. Best to have the room cleaned out before his roommate, Bayonetta, returned. "You should've known better."
"Zelda's right," agreed Link, left with no other choice but to punish Yusuke for his actions. "That is why I'm removing you out of the running for being Santa Claus this year."
"What?!" shrieked Yusuke, his time as Mr. Claus coming to an end. Giving out those party favors was fun while it lasted. "This is inconceivable! It's not like I killed a man!"
"Does this mean that I'm no longer Mrs. Claus?" Haru asked Yusuke, who was left in shambles as he had his face buried in his hands.
Haru: If there was a Mrs. Claus competition, I would win handily. Just do everything that Yusuke did. Minus the coal.
"using coal to fill snake's entire room..." Sans shook his head at Yusuke, the skeleton having eavesdropped on the entire exchange in silence. "..that is very coal-d, yusuke. not very cash money of you."
"Sans, you're removed from the competition as well," Link said to the skeleton, who took his elimination in stride compared to Yusuke. "No one likes your Christmas-related puns."
"wow, way to speak for everyone. but if you don't want a santa claus that knows how to let loose and have fun, be my guest..."
"Uh, Link and Zelda, you might wanna stop by the gaming room..." Champion Link ran up to Link and Zelda, with some important info to share. "...Doc Louis is taking it too far as Santa Claus."
"Why am I not surprised..." sighed Link as he facepalmed, seeing yet another elimination on the horizon. The hits just keep on coming.
Champion Link guided Link and Zelda to the gaming room, directing the Hylian couple to Doc Louis. Sitting on Doc Louis' lap right now was Cranky Kong, who was, well...acting cranky.
"Get me off your lap!" Cranky commanded Doc Louis, hitting the boxing trainer on the head with his cane with every word that he spoke. "I might be young at heart, but I'm not cut out for this..."
"No, you're gonna stay on my lap, and you're gonna like it!" shouted Doc Louis, taking the cane hits to his head like a man. "Mac, Leia, hold Cranky down!"
"Uh, my hands suddenly stopped working," Leia made her excuse as she held up her hands, which didn't do much to help her case. "Literally happened seconds ago."
"Oh my goodness! What is possibly going on?" asked Donkey Kong as he meandered his way over; the way that he was speaking suggested that he was acting, almost. "Why is my grandpa hurting Santa Claus?"
"Because you forced me on him!" replied Cranky, saving some of his energy so he could hit Donkey Kong with his cane later. "Against my own free will..."
"You forced your grandpa onto Doc Louis' lap?" Link asked Donkey Kong, interested in knowing what the gorilla's thought process was. "Why?"
"I do not know, Link, maybe there was a reason," shrugged Donkey Kong, his acting not fazing Link and Zelda in the slightest. "Totally not like Doc Louis wanted to force people on his lap or anything like that."
"Pulling the Mario stunt, I see..." Link veered at Doc Louis, who was looking guilty as Cranky continued his physical abuse upon him. "...did keeping your job as Santa Claus mean that much to you, Doc?"
"Not quite," replied Doc Louis, as Link waited around until he got a more honest answer. "Okay, maybe a little." Link was still waiting. "Maybe a tiny bit..."
"More like A LOT," stated Little Mac, breaking his silence as he had remained quiet for most of the day. "Doc Louis was offended by the other guys being Santa, and acted out of line just to keep his title."
"Yeah, I wasn't spreading any holiday cheer...quite the opposite, to be honest," Doc Louis admitted, now feeling regret after the trouble he put the others through. "Forgive me, Link. I was in over my head. I don't deserve to be Santa this year."
"So you're throwing in the towel?" Link asked Doc Louis, who thought over his decision for a brief moment before nodding his head. "Well, it's your decision. I'll just have you take this Christmas off if that's fine with you."
"FREEDOM!" Little Mac shouted at the top of his lungs, ripping off his elf costume and revealing nothing but his t-shirt and briefs. At least it wasn't an unflattering sight. "Uh...that costume wasn't expensive, was it Doc?"
"Which means..." Link turned his attention to Donkey Kong, who was dreading the very words that would come out of Link's mouth. "...congratulations, DK! You have won..."
"Hold it! What about Bowser and King Dedede?" asked Donkey Kong, in a last-ditch effort to save himself from a role he had no interest in. "Aren't they still in the competition?"
"Right you are. It wouldn't hurt to see what those two troublemakers are up to. Though I have my concerns..."
King Dedede remained in the backyard, still trying to get his sleigh off the ground. But no matter what he did, he couldn't get his "reindeer" - the Koopalings and Meta Knight - to fly up in the air.
"Man, Terra's magic sure is taking a long time to kick in," remarked King Dedede, as the Koopalings were noodling around on their phones to pass the time. Poor Meta Knight was all left out. "I wonder if his magic has a return policy..."
"King Dedede? What are you doing with my kids and favorite child?" boomed Bowser as he returned to the mansion after going around delivering furniture. "Explain yourself!"
"I didn't know I was his favorite child," Wendy said to her siblings, who were debating among themselves who the "favorite child" was. Bowser Jr. kept himself out of the debate, for obvious reasons.
Bowser Jr: Ha! Suckers.
"Your kids suck, Bowser," King Dedede said to the Koopa King, who clutched his pearls - did Dedede have any idea who he was speaking to? "Can't even fly! Or maybe this magic sucks."
"You fool..." Meta Knight shook his head at King Dedede, knowing that the fat penguin got Bowser all riled up. Flames were brewing out of Bowser's mouth.
"Say that again..." Bowser dared King Dedede as he marched towards the sleigh, his eyes set on reducing the sleigh to ashes. "...repeat what you just said about my kids!"
"And favorite child!" Wendy called out to Bowser, who was but a few feet away from burning King Dedede to a crisp. Realizing the trouble he got himself in, King Dedede was shuddering.
"King Dedede, why are those Koopalings tied to your sleigh?" Link asked the fat penguin, showing up outside with Zelda and Donkey Kong. King Dedede's butt was saved, as the flames in Bowser's mouth went away.
"You wanted me to spread holiday cheer, so...that's what I was trying to do!" explained King Dedede, demonstrating as he cracked his whip at the Koopalings. "Bowser's stupid kids just wouldn't get with the program."
"TELL ME YOU DID NOT JUST WHIP MY CHILDREN!" growled Bowser, as he hopped on the sleigh and grabbed King Dedede by the neck. "Only I have the authority to whip my kids! You're not their daddy!"
"Timeout, you two!" Link shouted at Bowser and King Dedede, preventing the latter from being strangled. Impa came over to Zelda, whispering something in the princess's ear. "I can see that you've been unpleasant to your 'reindeer', Dedede."
"No way, I've been treating Bowser's kids with respect!" King Dedede defended himself; funny how Meta Knight has been constantly left out. Not that Meta Knight was complaining. "This whip is...it's only to motivate them."
"The last time I checked, Santa only whipped his reindeer. Not a bunch of kids posing as reindeer. So for that reason, you lost your Santa privileges."
"Serves you right, buddy..." Bowser said to King Dedede, frightening the fat penguin with his malicious grin. Soon Impa went over to Link, sharing some info she shared with Zelda.
"Oh, and Bowser? You lost your privileges, too." Yet another elimination as Bowser looked at Link, shocked. Donkey Kong was starting to freak out. "Giving away furniture without someone's permission is not very Santa-like."
"But I did it in the name of Christmas!" Didn't matter to Link. Bowser grunted as he hopped on the sleigh, throwing his Santa hat on the ground. "So much for the Christmas spirit..."
"Well, Donkey Kong...you're the last man standing." The Santa competition now had a winner...and it was the unlikeliest one out of the bunch. "You're gonna be Santa Claus this year. Congratulations!"
"No! Can we have a do-over?" Donkey Kong implored Link, who left DK in the dust as he walked away with Zelda and Impa. "What about a second chance contest? C'mon, Link! Oh, man...this is what I get for helping Little Mac."
"Sup DK," Little Mac came outside to greet the gorilla, and he was the last person that Donkey Kong wanted to see. "Thanks for doing me that solid. Never got to thank you."
"Yeah...thanks for nothing." Donkey Kong glared at Little Mac as he went back inside the mansion, not wanting to deal with the boxer. "Gotta wear a stupid beard until Christmas..."
"What for? Wait...you won the Santa competition! That's awesome, man! Why are you so upset? Did something wrong?"
You gotta admit - with him being Santa Claus, Donkey Kong could do his best Cranky Kong impersonation. Albeit without the crankiness. And the cane.