Author's Note:
A certain Nintendo Gamecube classic was released twenty years ago. Many of you already know what it is, so I won't elaborate on what it is any further. But I will answer some guest reviews.
"Well...this is not good. Apparently, WWE is releasing Jeff Hardy! Say what?! A terrible news. What do you feel about his release? Do you think he'll join Matt in AEW?"
Don't mean to flex, but...I got to meet Jeff Hardy at a meet-and-greet in August when WWE came to town. Gave him a few fist bumps, took some pictures with him, and even got his autograph. One of the coolest moments of my life. As for his release, I was very shocked. There's been so much info going around about his release that I can't quite give my honest thoughts. As for him joining Matt in AEW...I'll reserve my judgment until later. Another guest review:
"So what do you think about the Game Awards for this year?"
I sadly missed most of the Game Awards, but I did see the trailer for the new Sonic movie. And the teaser for the new Sonic game. Got high hopes for both. Metroid Dread, Guilty Gear: Strive, and Kena: Bridge of Spirits all won awards, so that's pretty neat. On to The Reader:
"Good news from The Game Awards! We'll have Persona 4 Arena Ultimax for the Switch on March 17! Does this mean we'll get to see Labrys and Sho now? And will we see the Shadow Operatives grow up?"
Aw yeah, Persona chapter on March 17th, baby! But yeah, Labrys and Sho will be in it. And the Shadow Operatives will age up. The Reader has more questions, all concerning the Game Awards:
"1. Will there be a Cuphead: Delicious Last Course chapter on June 30? It would be good seeing Cuphead reunited with Mugman, and introducing Ms. Chalice to the fray!
2. Will there be a Sonic movie chapter on April 8, since the last Sonic movie have no chapter? Come on, it's just a Sonic and Tails chapter, how hard could it be?
3. And speaking of Sonic, what do you think Sonic Frontiers will be about?"
1. There will be a Cuphead chapter, with Mugman and Ms. Chalice and possibly more.
2. Since I didn't do a chapter for the last Sonic movie...I'll do one for the sequel.
3. Hard to tell as of now, but I can assume that a new Sonic villain will be making their debut.
An NFL Fan has inquired about the guests that will be appearing in the next few weeks:
"Question about Christmas guests, do you think Mr. Big Chest is allowed to even visit the mansion, especially after the fact that he apparently faked his vaccine cards?"
Master Hand is corrupt enough to let someone get by with a fake vaccine card, so the answer to your question is yes. David has questions:
"Will the Pit and Ryuji feud end with them having a TLC match, Extreme Rules match, or Hell in a Cell match? A Persona 4 Arena chapter? (It's getting a Switch port). A chapter focusing on the Persona 3 cast? (Only if the rumors of the Persona 3 Portable remaster are true). Will we see some characters reconcile and bury the hatchet for the Christmas chapter? And finally, what did you like or dislike about the Game Awards? (Metroid Dread lost Game of the Year, and Tales of Arise won best RPG game)."
Why not all three match styles...in one match?! (I kid, I kid.) The Persona 4 Arena chapter has already been confirmed. I may do a chapter focused on the Persona 3 cast, they deserve one. A few characters might bury the hatchet in the Christmas chapter (or New Year's chapter). And I've mentioned already what I liked in the Game Awards. Next is Anon:
"This Sunday is the Kid Icarus 35th anniversary. Will there be a chapter dedicated to the OG NES game?"
If I had seen this review earlier, then I would've done a chapter about it. Even then, with all this Christmas stuff going on, probably not. And finally, we have a returning BowserFan327:
"Persona 4 Arena Ultimax is getting a port to PS4, Switch and Steam in March! Can we get a chapter on that soon?"
Man, everyone's hyped about Persona 4 Arena Ultimax, aren't they? Might as well deliver on March 17th...
Episode 313: YankeeSwap
It might be hard to believe, but this year marked the 20th anniversary of Super Smash Bros Melee. A game that created a new generation of fans as well as a giant hoard of competitive freaks, Melee was a true classic that deserved to be cherished forever.
The roster for Melee was jam-packed. You had Nintendo icons like Mario, Link, and Donkey Kong. New fighters such as Zelda, Ice Climbers, and Falco. Pokemon such as Pikachu, Jigglypuff, and Mewtwo. And two swordsmen who had yet to speak a single lick of English at the time, in Marth and Roy. How far those two have come...
In lieu of celebrating Melee's 20th anniversary, Master Hand had the party planning committee organize a Christmas party in the ballroom just for the Melee veterans. The only way to get inside the party was by, well, being a fighter in Melee. Sorry, Charizard. There was also a small Secret Santa exchange supposed to be taking place at the party, just for the Melee fighters only. Again, sorry Charizard.
Link: So for the party, I got Zelda in Secret Santa. Quite the miracle, in all honesty. *takes out teapot* And I got her this teapot, which I know she really wants, so she can make tea in her spare time. But I'm also going to stuff it with some inside jokes. Take, for instance, this embarrassing photo Mario took of me behind my back. She saw it at the party, and it really makes her laugh. Not sure why. What else...ooh. *takes out hot sauce pocket* This is a hot sauce packet. She put this on a hot dog a couple of years ago because she thought it was ketchup. And it was really funny, so I kept the other two. *holds up a miniature pencil* This would take a little too long to explain, so I won't. Perhaps another time.
"Is there anything we're missing?" asked Palutena, as she met with the party planning committee members - Rosalina, Viridi, Researcher Zelda, and Travis - in the living room. "Rosalina, you got the lights?"
"Yes, I got these cute little ones," answered Rosalina as she held up the lights in question.; Palutena looked at the mother of Lumas disapprovingly. "Do you think I should have gotten the big ones?"
"We'll see." Sometimes it was best to make do with whatever you got - and Palutena might be left with no other choice but to do just that.
Travis: When Viridi added me to the party planning committee, one of the first words she told me was that we need to prepare for every possible disaster. Which to me seems excessive.
Rosalina: Master Hand personally asked us to prepare a Christmas party for the Melee veterans. We're essentially planning for a party that we're not even invited to. Well, only one of us got an invite - Researcher Zelda. But only because she was a "technicality".
"Merry Christmas!" bellowed Master Hand as he magically appeared in the living room, making his presence known to the party planning committee. He was wearing a giant Santa hat, which was loosely fitted. "How are my ho ho hoes and pimp doing?"
"Hehe, pimp...I kinda like the sound of that," Travis smirked to himself, only for his smirk to fade away when the other ladies were glaring at him. "I'm kidding!"
"What do we got, what do we got? How many plates are we getting?
"TWenty," answered Viridi; twenty seemed like a pretty low number, given how many folks were expected to show up for the party.
"Double it. Double everything. Double ice cream. Double napkins. Double it. On me."
Master Hand: It was a tough year. I've seen one of my longtime residents leave this year, and many more are to come later this month. This party has to really rock. Check it out. Mario got a big check 3,000 G's. Got it from Cilan. So I guess some good came out of Cilan leaving after all. Maybe I should call him and tell him that.
"I want people to cut loose," said Master Hand, giving out his personal visions for the party. Visions that the party planning committee wouldn't even bother to put into existence. "I want people making out in closets. I want people hanging from the ceilings, lampshades on the heads. I want it to be a Playboy Mansion party. And also, I want you to spread the word that Mario will have his digital camera. And he'll be taking pictures all along the way. And the best and craziest thing that happens will be on the cover of the newsletter. Incentive."
"You do realize that we can't serve liquor at the party," stated Researcher Zelda reminding Master Hand that alcohol couldn't be served. Not with Ness being one of the party guests.
"Yeah, I know. Dang it! Stupid mansion wet blankets. Like booze ever killed anybody."
While Snake obtained some pictures from Hal, he still wanted to get his hands on that journal. The former spy was going around asking folks if they had seen the journal anywhere, and his search took him to the gaming room.
"Aw yeah, party time!" exclaimed Jimmy T. - one of the guests invited to the mansion by Anna - as he was cutting a rug on the gaming room stage. Chie and Yukiko were among themselves watching Jimmy T. dance...or at least they were forcing themselves to.
"Didn't even know it was possible to dance to Carol of the Bells like that..." Chie murmured to Yukiko, as Jimmy T. was busting out some fly disco moves. While also hip thrusting. Snake entered the gaming room, accruing Jimmy T's attention.
"Hey, Snake! Wanna dance with me onstage?" Jimmy T. called out to the former spy, oblivious to the fact that he had better things to do with his time. "Sure could use a dance partner!"
"Wouldn't wanna be seen dancing with an ugly freak like you," responded Snake, hurting Jimmy T's feelings; the former spy saw Chie and Yukiko at the stage, and ran over to the two friends. "Have you ladies seen a journal anywhere? Left it in the computer room by accident."
"I saw Mario glossing through it a few weeks ago," replied Yukiko, bringing a ton of panic to Snake - the contents in the journal were solely meant for Snake's eyes only. "Might've taken it with him by accident."
"Oh he did, did he?" Snake now had a bone to pick with Mario - and he had to get the journal back from the plumber before it was too late. "I'm gonna ring that neck of his once I..."
"Mario's going to some party, so he won't be home," stated Chie, as Snake was suddenly reminded of the Christmas party that was only meant for the Melee folk. It was no problem for the former spy, though.
"No big deal, Spyro or Hunter can just let me in. I'll just go inside, grab that journal, and leave. Thanks, ladies." So Snake was about to leave the gaming room, but before he could...
"Going somewhere?" a certain Umbra Witch asked Snake, as Bayonetta crept up on the scowling former spy. As Snake's roommate, Bayonetta has kept a very close eye on her (un)friendly companion.
"Yes...I'm going to stop by Mario's place and say hi to Spyro and Hunter." Snake wouldn't elaborate much more than that; it would make him look even more suspicious in Bayonetta's eyes. "Why are you so concerned?"
"I'm not concerned. I never knew you were that tight with Mario's housemates." Bayonetta got even closer to Snake, a little too close for comfort, as she draped her arm over the former spy's shoulder. "Got a secret you wish to share?"
"Hands off, woman..." Snake smacked Bayonetta's hand, before running out of the gaming room. Bayonetta watched as Snake left, smirking to herself as she walked away.
To ensure that only Melee fighters got in the ballroom, Toad was tasked with being the ballroom gatekeeper. He was standing in front of the ballroom entrance as Red the Pokemon Trainer drew near with his Charizard.
"Good evening, Red!" Toad greeted the Pokemon trainer, before taking a glance at the guest list that Master Hand had given him. "I'm sorry, but neither you nor Charizard are invited."
"But Charizard was a Pokemon assist in Melee," stated Red, trying to find some kind of loophole that would get Charizard into the party. "That has to mean something, right?"
"Maybe so...but I'm afraid it's not enough. Maybe we can have a Christmas party just for the Pokemon." Charizard lowered his head in sadness, as Red gently petted the flame Pokemon's head.
"Are you even allowed to attend this Christmas party yourself, Toad?" The answer was an obvious no, as Toad kept his lips pursed. "Let's go just, Charizard..." Met with disappointment, Red and Charizard both walked away. Seconds later, Sonic stopped by with Tails.
"One ticket inside the ballroom, please!" requested Sonic, as if he expected Toad to let him and Tails inside. "The best party guests have arrived!"
"Silly Sonic! You and Tails weren't in Melee," Toad said to the blue hedgehog, who saw that response coming from Toad from a mile away.
"But we were in Melee. We have evidence!" Sonic dug into his imaginary pocket and pulled out a picture he had printed offline. It was an image of him and Tails fighting on Green Greens, with Luigi and Yoshi.
"I've seen that image before! I can totally confirm that it's 100% not legit. It was mostly a hoax."
Toad: Super Smash Bros Melee was a thing twenty years ago...and Sonic was like 15 when this documentary started. So how would he be even considered for... *sighs* ...don't even get me started on Ness. I still have a hard time accepting the fact that he's a teenager.
"No, it's totally legit, see?" Sonic said to Toad as he pointed at some text right below the image of him and Tails. "That right there is proof from Electronic Gaming Monthly. Have they ever been wrong before?"
"C'mon Sonic, just let it go," Tails said to the blue hedgehog, grabbing his hand and pulling him away from Toad. "I keep telling you that image was part of an April Fools' joke."
"But it came straight out of a gaming magazine! Why would an established gaming magazine ever dupe their own fans?" Sonic tried to break free from Tails, but it was no use as he was dragged down the hallway.
Preparations for the party were underway, as the Melee veterans were in the ballroom moving stuff around. Marth and Roy, for instance, were moving a table.
"One, two, three!" Marth and Roy both shouted in unison before they moved a table over to the other side of the ballroom. Fox watched the swordsmen from a few feet away, watching them struggling slightly.
"You guys should use a hand truck," the pilot suggested to Marth and Roy, who were both a bit exhausted as they placed the table on the floor. There was a lot more where that came from.
"Do we have one?" Marth asked Fox, to which Fox shook his head no; Marth let out an exasperated sigh, as he and Roy went ahead to move another table.
"Will you help me?" Researcher Zelda asked Zelda, who was idly standing by as her assistant was having some trouble with a plastic tablecloth.
"Come on, DK, let me borrow the hat for just a couple of hours," Bowser pestered Donkey Kong, who was the designated Santa Claus at the mansion this year. Begrudgingly, that is, after he won Link's Santa competition.
"You wanna be Santa?" Donkey Kong asked Bowser, who had awfully high hopes on being Santa until Impa ratted him out to Link and Zelda. "Have you ever seen Santa?"
"Yeah, I've seen Santa. But who cares? Let me wear that hat!"
"Well, I'm sorry. It just doesn't work."
"Mario, I would like-a to be the elf," Luigi requested to his twin brother, wanting to wear something festive for the party. Mario mulled over Luigi's request for a second or two.
"That wouldn't make-a sense," replied Mario, as Luigi moaned in sadness; Champion Link would pass by the plumber, catching his attention. "Champion Link makes sense because-a he has elfish features."
"I'm not wearing some stupid elf costume," Champion Link said to Mario, putting his foot down; Mario was staring intently at Champion Link, who groaned out of frustration as he walked away. "Let me go see which closet I have that costume hanging up in..."
After she was done working with the party planning committee, Viridi returned to Cafe Leblanc to resume her barista duties. When she arrived, she saw Pit putting on a pair of black jeans, as Joker, Incineroar, and Kirby looked on.
"Pit, why are you putting on a pair of jeans?" Kirby asked the angel, who was fastening the belt around his waist. It was the first time anyone had ever seen Pit wearing jeans.
"Because the truth...the truth will set Ryuji free!" proclaimed Pit, who had a score to settle with his new arch-enemy Ryuji. "He may delude himself into thinking wrestling is fake, but I'll set him straight."
"You've picked a very interesting hill to die on," Joker said to Pit, not all that worried about losing a barista for the rest of the day. He and the others could hold it down during Pit's absence.
"Well, Joker, sometimes the truth hurts. And Ryuji will be in a world of hurt once I'm through with him!" Now knowing what his mission was, Pit jumped over the counter and ran off. "Let's go, Incineroar!"
"Hello, everyone!" greeted Galar champion Leon as he stepped inside the cafe, only for Pit to run past him. Incineroar didn't move an inch. "Uh, what's gotten into Pit? Why is he wearing jeans?"
"That's what we were trying to figure out," replied Joker, before turning his head and noticing that Viridi was present. "Viridi, why can't you just tell Pit that pro wrestling is scripted?"
"Because I don't wanna hurt his feelings," admitted Viridi, giving much of the responsibility to Kirby. Even Kirby couldn't bring himself to tell Pit the truth.
All the Melee veterans were in the ballroom, which meant that it was time for the Melee-exclusive Christmas party to begin. Champion Link, against his own will, was dressed up as an elf and was in charge of doing most of the party proceedings.
"Okay, everybody listen up!" shouted Champion Link as he stood at the front of the ballroom, next to a small Christmas tree. "It is time to get your presents, wrap them, and place them under the tree like so. If you do not get your present wrapped and under the tree, within the next five minutes you will be disqualified from Secret Santa. All right? No exceptions except Mario."
Mewtwo: I got Researcher Zelda. She is into these posters of babies dressed as adults. I got her one of those. I felt kind of weird buying that.
Falco: I got Roy. And to tell you the truth, I don't know much about Creed. I know his name's Roy. I know he's one of the more established swordfighting veterans in Smash. I think he's Irish because of his hair and...I got him this shamrock keychain. *holds up keychain*
Yoshi: I got myself for Secret Santa. I was supposed to tell somebody, but I didn't. *smiles happily*
"You get-a something good?" Mario asked Link, whom he was sitting next to in the ballroom. All the Melee veterans had a week's worth to find the perfect Secret Santa gift.
"I think I did a pretty good job," replied Link as he nodded his head, supremely confident that he picked out the right gift for his Secret Santa.
"Yeah? Who did you have?"
"Well, I can't tell you cause it's a secret."
"I think I got something pretty nice for my gal. I spent a lot-a of dough. Lot of dough."
"Well, there's a $20 limit, right?" There was indeed a price limit, but Mario apparently wanted to break the threshold to show how much he cared. "So...?"
"Yeah. I wanted this party to be really special so I sorta went above and beyond.
"That's great. Well, don't tell me who it is, because I can..."
"It was Peach. Yeah. I have-a Princess Peach." Mario drew his own wife...what a coincidence. No wonder he went past the price limit.
Mario and Peach were at the Christmas party, but that didn't stop Snake from stopping by their house. The former spy only had one goal in mind - go inside, grab the journal, and leave. He was fully expecting either one of Spyro or Hunter to let him inside...
"How's it going, Snake," Cloud greeted the former spy as he opened Mario's front door. Snake stood on the doorstep looking confused, making sure that he went to the right house.
"Cloud, what are you..." Snake was about to ask before he heard some commotion from the living room. "...what's with all the noise?"
"Oh, uh, we got some company over. We have enough room for you, so you can come on inside if you want."
Wondering what all the commotion was, Snake followed Cloud inside the house, where he saw the Wayfinder trio hanging out with Spyro and Hunter in the living room. They weren't the only ones present - Impa and Lottie were present as well. And so were E. Gadd, Dingodile, and Ty; the latter two had brought some catering.
"Care for some barbecue snags, mates?" Dingodile asked the Wayfinder trio, as Ty offered them a plate full of sausages. The sausages were covered with onions and slathered with barbecue sauce.
"Those look more like sausages to me," Ventus said to Dingodile, who frowned as he grabbed Ty and walked away. Ventus turned to the amused Terra and Aqua and asked them, "What did I do to upset him?"
Cloud: Mario organized a small little get-together for the Wayfinder trio, while he's having fun at his party. The goal is to have our new potential Seattlites used to some familiar faces in town. The catering Dingodile provided wasn't that necessary.
Impa: The Carpenters are about done with building the new house, and we got back most of the furniture that Bowser gave away. All we're waiting for now is a word of confirmation from our friendly Keyblade wielders.
"We have a visitor, everyone," Cloud addressed those inside the living room, as everyone turned their attention to the swordsman and Snake. "Make yourself at home, Snake."
"We got some fried snake, if you're interested," Spyro said to Snake, who saw a tray of fried snake bites. A common specialty from Dingodile's home down under. "Help yourself."
"Yeah, go and be a cannibal!" Hunter encouraged Snake as he raised his fists, only to accrue weird looks from the others. The cheetah slowly put his hand down sheepishly. "Or, maybe not..."
"I'm not that hungry," admitted Snake, as he looked around the living room. He was checking behind the sofa and couch, and television too. "Just wanted to look for something."
"Sure you don't want any grub?" Impa asked Snake as she approached the former spy, putting her hand on his shoulder. "How about you unwind first?"
"Fine, I'll unwind...if it means getting you to leave me alone." So Snake took a seat on the sofa behind him...accidentally sitting on E. Gad in the process. "Whops, my bad professor."
"No, you're good - I usually have a tendency to go invisible to the naked eye," E. Gadd said to Snake, before going back to looking at his phone. The inventor was looking at his phone rather intently, which Snake took note of.
"Gather round. Secret Santa, let's go, come on," said Champion Link as he got everyone to gather around in a circle. The Hylian was about to plug up the Christmas tree, only to spot Mewtwo holding the cord in his hand. "Mewtwo, no, I'm going to handle the cord. Safety reasons."
"I know how to plug something in," stated Mewtwo, proving to Champion Link that plugging stuff in wasn't his first rodeo. He was a psychic-type Pokemon; clearly, he knew what he was doing.
"I want to do it." Seeing how hard-headed Champion Link was, Mewtwo eventually conceded as he handed over the cord to the Hylian.
"All right, let's-a count it down, like Rockefeller Center," Mario suggested to the others, wanting to make the Christmas tree lighting a bit more special. "Ready?"
"Three, two, one," everyone counted down together before Champion Link plugged in the cord after the count of one. Very dim lights came on the tree, making for a very underwhelming Christmas lighting.
"Not-a great." Nobody was more disappointed than Mario, and surely Master Hand would be just as disappointed - if not more - if he was present.
"I'm sorry, everybody," Researcher Zelda apologized to the others, on behalf of the party planning committee. She and her pals were willing to tkae the fall.
"I think the tree looks nice," Zelda offered her two cents, as she was shedding a little light on the situation. No pun intended, of course.
"Hey, I could get some flares from my Blue Falcon," suggested Captain Falcon, as he was about to run outside and rev up the engine from his trusty F-Zero car. But Mario stopped the racer from leaving.
"No, no. Shake it off everybody," said Mario, knowing that the show must go on. Couldn't let a lackluster Christmas tree lighting kill the mood. "Just, let's-a do Secret Santa."
Mario: Presents are the best-a way to show someone how much you care. It's like this tangible thing that you can point-a to and say, "Hey, man, I love you this many dollars worth."
"First present, Roy," announced Champion Link after he gathered up all the gifts under the Christmas tree, as he handed the first gift to Roy. Roy ripped off the wrapping, curious to know what he got.
"Shower radio. Neat!" the swordsman exclaimed as he held up his shower radio. At least that gift was going to a swordsman who was actually tech-savvy, unlike Marth.
"Oh, good, that was from me," Samus said to Roy, as she was holding Pikachu and Pichu in her lap. Separate chairs were set up for both Pokemon, but Samus had other plans in mind.
"Thanks, Samus." Roy seldom received gifts from Samus so, in a way, he felt honored. "You know I was gonna get one of..."
"Okay, that's enough," Champion Link interrupted Roy, possibly preventing the swordsman from going on some long-winded speech about his gift. "Let's keep it moving on. Link."
"Oh, cool," said Link, as Champion Link handed him a plastic bag; the Hylian opened up the bag, and took a look at whatever was inside.
"That's from me," Ness said to Link, who judging by the look on his face didn't seem to appreciate his gift all that much.
"Great. Where did you get it?"
"I don't know. It was so long ago."
Link: He obviously forgot to get me something, and then he went in his closet and dug out this little number... *holds up a shirt with way-too-short sleeves* ...and then threw it in a bag.
Ness: Yep. That's exactly what happened.
The gift exchange was moving right along, as Zelda was the next to receive her gift. The princess opened her gift and was happy when she pulled a teapot out of the box.
"Oh my goodness!" Zelda exclaimed as she held up the teapot, which was fancy and regal just like her. "Thank you very much, Santa Claus. It's awesome."
"This is gonna take some time getting used to..." Donkey Kong muttered under his breath, as Zelda was checking out her teapot. She had to inspect the front, bottom, and even the nozzle, but there was one important thing she had to do.
"There's a little more to it," Link, the man who got the teapot for Zelda, said to his wife as he alluded to the top of the teapot. But before Zelda could even lift the top...
"Alright, next, Princess Peach," announced Champion Link, as he casually tossed a gift to the princess of the Mushroom Kingdom. Mario was a little worried when Champion Link threw the gift across the ballroom, but it was all good as Peach caught it with her hands.
"Ooh, a video iPod!" gleamed Peach after she unwrapped her gift. A lot of mixed reactions from the others; some were either jealous of Peach, while others were left wondering how the princess got such an expensive item.
"Mama mia!" exclaimed Mario, who had taken a picture of Peach's reaction on his phone. Just for the memories. "Somebody really got carried away with the spirit-a of Christmas. That was me, I got a little carried-a away."
"Wasn't there a $20 limit on the gift? This is 400 bucks, Mario."
"You don't know that."
"You left the price tag on."
"I did? Oh, shoot. Wow. Okay, well, who-a cares? It doesn't matter what I spent. What matters is that Christmas is fun, right?"
"Mario..." said Champion Link, as he handed a gift to the plumber. Mario put away his phone and accepted his gift, eager to know what was inside.
"Oh hey, for me. What-a is in here?" Mario opened his gift and was beside himself when he saw that it was only a handmade oven mitt. "Oh, come-a on."
"Jigglypuff, Jigglypuff," Jigglypuff said to Mario, who was looking at his oven mitt with heavy disdain. If there was a fireplace in the ballroom, Mario would throw his gift into the fire, no questions asked.
"Jigglypuff said that she knitted it just for you," Yoshi translated for the balloon Pokemon; being that he was in the knitting club, Yoshi had helped Jigglypuff every step of the way.
"An oven-a mitt? Okay," frowned Mario, dropping his homemade oven mitt to the floor as he walked out of the ballroom. Who knew that such a heartfelt gift would put the plumber in such a bad mood?
Mario: So Jigglypuff is basically saying, "Hey Mario, I know you did a lot to help around the mansion this year but I only care about you a homemade oven mitt's worth." I gave-a my wife an iPod.
With Young Link attending the party, Toon Link was forced to ride solo as the lone buddy cop in the mansion. The young Hylian was still doing his job, handing out arrest warrants to anyone he laid his eyes on. Take for instance Professor Kukui and Professor Burnet.
"We were literally kissing under the mistletoe," Kukui explained to Toon Link, who was putting some handcuffs on the professor in the lounge. Burnet was idly standing by, amused by her husband being arrested.
"Ever heard of PDA?" Toon Link asked Kukui, as he had the handcuffs secure on Kukui's wrists. Next stop, the police station. "Way to be a good role model for your pupils."
"Professor Kukui, I need your help!" Pit called out to the professor as he ran inside the lounge, alarming the others with the black jeans he had on. "It's Ryuji. He thinks that pro wrestling is fake."
"Well...that's his opinion. Also, what's with those jeans?" Kukui, much like Viridi and Kirby, didn't have it in him to tell Pit the truth. He knew the truth better than anyone since he was a pro wrestler in his spare time.
"But it's the wrong opinion to have. As a fan of wrestling, it is my duty to show Ryuji the light!" Pit pointed upwards, showing Kukui and Burnet just how serious he was. "Toon Link, can you release Professor Kukui?"
"So he can assist you in your own deluded quest of achieving vindication?" Toon Link asked Pit, and the answer was simple for him. "Of course!" The Hylian happily took out his key so he could free Kukui from his handcuffs.
"I think you should tell Pit what he needs to hear," Burnet whispered to Kukui, who had his handcuffs taken off of him by Toon Link.
"I'll tell him later," Kukui whispered back, having to choose the right time to spill the beans. He foresaw the devastation that would rock Pit.
Mario was in a sour mood thanks to Jigglypuff's gift and was feeling so sour that he didn't return to the party in the ballroom. Peach and the other Melee veterans awkwardly sat around in the ballroom, waiting for Mario to return.
"Should we just keep opening up the presents?" asked Falco, who had yet to receive his present; he was anxious to see what he got.
"We don't do anything until Mario gives us further instructions," replied Young Link...and would you know it, Mario finally returned to the ballroom. But with a brilliant idea that he came up with.
"I got it! We are going to turn-a Secret Santa into Yankee Swap," Mario expressed his brilliant idea to the others, most of whom had never heard of Yankee Swap before.
"What is Yankee Swap?" inquired Link; on the surface, it seemed like a good idea, but given that it came from Mario, there was some reason to have doubt.
"One-a person chooses a gift. The next person can either choose a gift or steal-a that person's gift. If your gift gets stolen, then you can steal somebody else's gift or choose a new gift."
"I thought that was called Nasty Christmas," said Captain Falcon, who had played a game of Nasty Christmas with his F-Zero pals one Christmas. Didn't end too well for the racer, unfortunately.
"Yeah, we call it White Elephant," added Samus; White Elephant was just another name for Nasty Christmas but to each their own.
"Well, I call it fun!" exclaimed Mario, who only proposed the game in the hopes of receiving a better gift. Something that wasn't a homemade oven mitt.
"Why are we doing this?" asked Roy, who was fine with his shower radio; he wouldn't give it up for the world. (Unless for some reason, Lilina had her way with him.)
"Because it's better. Because-a it's more special." And because Mario was that petty.
"It sounds mean," Researcher Zelda gave her take on the Yankee Swap, as she foresaw a lot of foul play on the horizon. It was all in the name.
"Shut it. No, it's not. Okay, jus-a give it a shot."
Researcher Zelda: Mario should have asked the party planning committee first. He's not supposed to just spring things on us out of nowhere.
"Okay, Marth is up-a first," announced Mario, as Marth was the first person to take a crack at the Yankee Swap. "Here's the deal. You can either pick a new gift or you can steal-a somebody else's gift that they've already gotten, like the oven mitt."
"I'll take the teapot," said Marth, as he had his eyes on Zelda's teapot; the hero-king fancied himself making some delicious tea for himself and Caeda.
"Oh, shouldn't we..." Link spoke up, as he wanted no one's fingerprints on the teapot unless it was Zelda's. "...I bought that specifically for Zelda."
"Yankee Swap!" exclaimed Mario, as Zelda handed her teapot to Marth without any trouble. Link was left with no other choice but to accept the exchange. "That's what makes-a it fun. Princess-a Zelda, you can steal the oven mitt now."
"I'll take the iPod," said Zelda; she felt bad stealing a gift from one of her good friends, but an iPod was a nice accessory to have. Especially in today's time. A real throwback music player.
"And I have to give it to her?" asked Peach as she pointed at Zelda; she had already gone through her mind what songs she was going to download. "I don't have a choice?"
"Yes, now you can steal the oven mitt, the old shirt, or the shower radio or pick a new gift," explained Champion Link, as Peach wasn't that keen on the options. She already had an oven mitt, she rarely wore anything other than dresses, and she wouldn't know where to hang the shower radio. So she went with the fourth choice - choosing a new gift - as she grabbed a present and unwrapped it.
"That was meant for Captain Falcon..." Ganondorf said to Peach, whose gift was a license plate that had a Captain Falcon decal on it. Had the whole Captain Falcon aesthetic on it and everything.
"Yeah, I figured." Peach admired the license plate, believing that it would look nice on her car - if she could afford one. Let alone find one.
"I think this is going great," said Mario, although some of the others weren't exactly feeling the Yankee Swap. Link, in particular. It was now Samus' turn, as the bounty hunter grabbed a gift from the pile of gifts and unwrapped...a poster. One that had a baby dressed up as an adult. She cringed at the sight.
"Yikes..." Samus voiced her disgust at the poster, before putting it away. She couldn't for the life of her see how anyone put any thought into that gift.
"Well, it's for Researcher Zelda, so..." stated Mewtwo, hoping that he wasn't ratting out Researcher Zelda to anyone. The last thing he'd want was for Samus to judge the princess for her taste.
"That's like, the creepiest thing that I've ever seen." Says the bounty hunter who spent her job battling grotesque-looking alien monsters on faraway alien planets.
"Researcher Zelda, you're up," Champion Link said to the princess, who knew exactly what her course of action was. Knew it the moment Samus opened her gift.
"I'll take the poster," said Researcher Zelda as she happily took the poster from Samus. Samus was happy that Researcher Zelda took the poster off her hands. "Some people like these."
"I will steal the iPod," said Samus as she veered over at Zelda, a good friend of hers. Not wishing to potentially jeopardize her friendship with Samus, Zelda gave the iPod to the bounty hunter.
Mario: Everyone wants-a the iPod. It's a huge hit. It is almost a Christmas miracle. 2005 Christmas miracle.
"Oh, well, Roy, you little gourmand, you have-a the next turn," Mario announced to the swordsman, who was too busy eating up some of the party food. Roy was busy delighting himself with some finger foods when he heard his name called.
"I'll take the...teapot," said Roy, having looked around the ballroom for a brief moment until his eyes fell upon Marth. Much to Marth's chagrin.
"Darn it!" frowned Marth as he gave up his teapot to Roy. He and Roy lived in the same house together; he could just borrow the teapot from the swordsman, but only if he asked kindly.
"Okay, moving along," said Champion Link, as Roy's housemate had the next turn. "Marth, let's go." Marth could tip the scales here.
"I really want the iPod." Letting a technological noob like Marth take possession of the iPod would be absolutely no bueno under any circumstance.
"It's already been stolen this round." Fortunately, a potential crisis was averted - shout-out to Samus. "Pick something else."
"I hope nobody takes this baby, because-a this is great," Mario fondled his homemade oven mitt, in a way that would make his gift enticing to Marth. "Wow, look at that fine-a craftsmanship. Somebody really put a lot of work-a into that. It's beautiful."
"I'll take the oven mitt." Seeing how visibly distressed Jigglypuff was, Marth agreed to take the oven mitt off of Mario's hands. The gift that Mario treated like hot trash was finally no longer his.
"Sucker! See, I wanted somebody to take it. Boom! Reverse-a psychology."
Mario: Reverse-a psychology is an awesome tool. I don't know if you guys know about it, but basically, you make someone think-a the opposite of what you believe, and that tricks-a them into doing something stupid. Works like a charm.
Snake was at Mario's house, and he wanted to get his hands on that journal...but first, he had to enjoy some of Dingodile's catering. The former spy wasn't the only guest at the house, for Dr. Eggman happened to stop by while wearing his Christmas sweater.
"I wanted Mario and Peach to see my dripped-out Christmas sweater," Eggman said to the Wayfinder trio while showing off his Christmas sweater, which came with flashing Christmas lights. "Tell me where they are!"
"They're...kind of busy at the moment," answered Aqua, choosing not to tell Eggman about the party. It would only make him jealous. "But they'll be back soon before you know it."
"Hmm, this fried snake isn't so bad," remarked Snake while eating off of a plate of fried snake bites, as the doorbell sounded. "The food isn't as bad as I thought it would..."
"Hello, Erdrick! Come in!" Lottie answered the door, as she saw Erdrick standing on the doorstep. The moment he saw Erdrick, Snake nearly dropped his plate on the floor.
"Good evening, just wanted to stop by," Erdrick greeted Lottie as he entered the house, before observing the crowd. Eggman ran up to Erdrick, showing off his Christmas sweater
"Greetings, Erdrick - what do you think of my Christmas sweater?" the mad scientist asked the hero, eager to know his opinion. "Only right answers allowed!"
"It looks nice, I guess." Erdrick brushed past Eggman, who was left in a disappointed mood, before bumping into Snake. Snake was mean-mugging him. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Why are you looking at me like that?!" retorted Snake, as tensions started to rise in the living room. Terra, trying to play peacemaker, quickly got up and stepped in between Erdrick and Snake.
"Alright, let's settle down you two," the Keyblade Master said, as he gently pushed Snake away. Snake had his eyes locked on Erdrick. "We're here to have a good time, isn't that right?"
"That's right, you tell him!" Dingodile shouted in response, although the mutant wasn't opposed to seeing some sparks fly. He would love to see Erdrick getting creamed by Snake - or the other way around.
"Relax - it's not like Erdrick did anything wrong," Terra said to Snake, wondering why the former spy was so bothered with Erdrick's presence. "Just keep your hands to yourself."
"I'll try..." grumbled Snake, as he moved away from the premises. Erdrick just stood there puzzled, wondering what had gotten into Snake.
Snake: Doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out who sent Erdrick my way. I know you're on to me, Luminary...
The Yankee Swap was going as well as Mario had anticipated; the plumber was finally freed of the oven mitt and was free to either steal someone's gift or choose a gift from the pile. Mario went with the latter option, as he opened up his present and received a packet of paintball pellets.
"'In addition to these paintball pellets, your gift includes two paintball lessons with Fox McCloud,'" Mario read the note attached to the packet - a gift voucher for paintball lessons from Fox. Mario didn't know how to feel about his gift - he didn't even receive a paintball gun, for crying out loud!
"You and me, Mario," gleamed Fox as he wrapped his arm around the plumber, whom he likened to be a paintball master in secret. It was one of the made-up urban legends that Fox had thrown unto Mario. "Yes!"
"Who wants to take paintball-a lessons? How is that better than an iPod?"
"I never said it was better than an iPod."
Fox: Mario keeps bragging about his iPod, but you know what? Two paintball lessons with someone as experienced as I am is worth easily, like, two grand. *shoots a paintball gun at target* When you can handle a space gun, like me, you can handle pretty much any other gun out there.
"Last gift, Yoshi," announced Mario, as Yoshi took one of two final gifts from the pile. One of the gifts happened to be his.
"I'll take the footbath," said the green dinosaur, as he grabbed the footbath and returned to his seat. He was fully satisfied.
Yoshi: That's the thing I bought myself. I'm really psyched to use it. *pauses* Maybe I should have taken the iPod. Oh, darn.
"Zelda, steal something or pick the final gift," Champion Link said to the princess, as there was only one gift remaining on the floor. What would Zelda choose?
"I want the iPod," said Zelda, as she wanted that iPod back. Samus was disgruntled by the choice Zelda made, and Link as well...but for a different reason.
"Sure you don't want the teapot?" Link asked Zelda, for he knew how much his wife wanted one. The Hylian put a lot of things into that teapot - literally speaking.
"Well, I mean, it's an iPod. But..."
"No. No. It's fine. Definitely. It's..."
"Okay, well, I guess I will take that book of short stories," shrugged Samus, as she grabbed the final gift of the Yankee Swap - a simple book of short stories.
"There you go!" Falco smiled at Samus, as it was now his turn to go. His turn was the last one in the Yankee Swap. "I want the teapot."
"Got to be kidding me," Link threw his arms up in defeat and sighed, as Roy handed the teapot to Champion Link - the teapot that was originally meant for Zelda.
Falco: Yankee Swap is like Machiavelli meets...Christmas.
Disgusted by how the Yankee Swap turned out, Jigglypuff abruptly left the ballroom. Mario saw the balloon Pokemon leave, clueless as to why she was so upset.
"What is she so upset-a about?" Mario asked the others, as his cluelessness was quite humorous to some. Sometimes Mario was terrible at reading the room.
"Maybe because you hated her present so much," assumed Ness, and apparently Mario didn't believe that was the case. He thought that Jigglypuff was all salty because she ended up with a gift she didn't like.
"Come on! I think that Yankee Swap was a big-a hit! I think it's a success and I'm the one-a who ended up with Dwight's stupid paintball pellets.
"Yeah, but Mario, the point is that we all bought gifts for specific people," Link pointed out to the plumber, upset that a friend of his now had Zelda's teapot. He dreaded the thought of Champion Link taking a peek at what was inside.
"And you should have just bought a $20 gift like everyone-a else," added Luigi, certain that Mario broke the rules for Secret Santa. Very rarely was Mario a rulebreaker.
"Well, I didn't," stated Mario, owning up to buying the iPod for Peach. He was awfully proud of his decision. "I got a big check after Cilan left, and I used-a the money to buy something awesome. Sue-a me!"
"You got a check from Cilan?" asked Captain Falcon, who wished that Cilan gave him some money before heading back to Unova. In a way, he felt betrayed. "How much?"
"It wasn't that much," replied Mario as everyone had their eyes on the plumber, putting a little bit of pressure on him. Mario had no choice but to come clean. "It was $3,000."
"Alright, I'm done now..." Captain Falcon felt even more betrayed, as he stormed out of the ballroom in a hurry. He considered Cilan to be a friend, but after today...the racer didn't know anymore.
Mario: Unbelievable. I do one-a of the nicest things that anyone has ever done and these people freak-a out. Well, happy birthday, Jesus. Sorry your party's so lame.
Meanwhile, Master Hand and Anna were at a liquor store, buying some alcohol for the party at the ballroom. Master Hand asked Anna to pay for the liquor, to which the merchant happily obliged.
"It comes to $166.41," the liquor store clerk said to Master Hand and Anna, as there were a bunch of vodka bottles lined up on the counter.
"Alright now, you're the expert," Master Hand said to the store clerk, wanting his expert opinion on Christmas parties. The store clerk might've been waiting for this moment his entire life. "Is this enough to get more than twenty people plastered?"
"Twenty bottles of vodka? Yeah, that should do it.
"Cool, cool. Box it up."
Link and Zelda wished to bring some fellow Links and Zeldas to town, but the couple had to wait until it was close to Christmas, per Master Hand's orders. For now, they had to settle with the four Champions of Hyrule - Mipha, Daruk, Revali, and Urbosa. With Champion Link at the party, the Champions delegated themselves to the gaming room, where they were annoyed by Ryuji.
"Sorry you guys had missed the best wrestling match of the yea," Ryuji said to the four Champions, who had forced themselves to listen to the delinquent. Just to keep him happy. "It was a true classic!"
"So this match, it only lasted an hour...and there was no winner?" asked Daruk, making sure that he gathered all the right details. He was the only Champion that was even remotely interested in what Ryuji had to say.
"Yup - ended in a draw! But it's all good since that match was just a preview of what's to come. The real banger is gonna happen on pay-per-view!"
"Someone please save us..." pleaded Revali as he looked up at the heavens, and his wishes were soon answered as Pit ran inside the gaming room. "...no, anyone but this kid."
"Ryuji Sakamoto!" Pit pointed at the delinquent with heavy contempt. Ryuji kept his mouth shut, for he knew what Pit came here for. "You, my friend, are the biggest liar in all of history."
"The biggest liar in history, huh?" smirked Ryuji as he confidently stood up, anticipating any challenge that Pit threw his way. "Says the guy who claims to be happy, yet watches WWE!"
"Very rich coming from you with your always bitter, constantly-complaining-about-nothing self!" Pit and Ryuji were trading verbal barbs, and it was accruing a lot of attention in the gaming room. "When are you not bitter?"
"Ha! I'm not bitter, I just call it as I see it. I have the knowledge that dorks like you could ever hope to obtain! Such as..."
"Reading a bunch of wrestling rumors online doesn't make you smart, Ryuji!" Ann called out to the delinquent, effectively destroying his argument as Ryuji immediately lost his train of thought.
"Shut up Ann, I'm trying to obliterate Pit here!" Ryuji snapped on his friend, before turning his attention back to Pit. "You're just a filthy casual, Pit...while I, on the other hand, consider myself to be a genuine fan of wrestling."
"Let me know when they're done quarreling," Urbosa said to Mipha, Daruk, and Revali as she left the gaming room. Pit and Ryuji's back-and-forth was too much for the Gerudo.
Urbosa: Sorry, but I just couldn't listen for another second. The tribalism was off the charts.
"Why do you care so much about something that you think it's 100% fake?" asked Pit, believing that he had Ryuji on the ropes...when instead Ryuji was just confused.
"It's called being a fan, you nitwit!" Ryuji defended himself, feeling like he was losing brain cells the more he argued with Pit. "And for the record, wrestling is fake. Everybody knows that."
"Well, Ryuji...you just forced my hand. You've left me with no other choice." Pit whistled into his fingers, likely summoning someone to set Ryuji straight. "Masked Royal, show yourself!"
A masked luchador entered the gaming room, posing for the crowd. Ryuji was honestly a bit intimidated.
"This is the Masked Royal - one of the best luchadors on the scene," Pit provided the introduction to Ryuji, as the Masked Royal got down on one knee and held his arms out wide in a magnificent pose.
"Wh-What is he gonna do? Beat me up?" asked Ryuji as he took a few steps back; he looked back just to ensure that Daruk was still around, in case he needed some backup.
"Since you refuse to acknowledge how real wrestling is...I'm afraid so." Pit watched as the Masked Royal approached Ryuji, intimidating him with his might and valor. Ryuji had never been face-to-face with a legit wrestler, and it showed as he backed down from the Masked Royal.
"What's the matter, scared?" the Masked Royal asked Ryuji, who was worried what the luchador might do to him. There was a solid chance that the Masked Royal would go easy on the delinquent...
"Give him a good ol' chop to the chest, Masked Royal!" Doing as he was told by Pit, the Masked Royal smacked Ryuji's chest with a backhand swing. the Masked Royal didn't go in too much, but Ryuji was still left in pain.
"Ow, that hurts!" Ryuji winced in pain, as he got down on one knee while holding his chest. the Masked Royal brought the delinquent back up to his feet, awaiting Pit's next command.
"Now put him in a chokehold." The next move the Masked Royal busted out was a chokehold, as he put Ryuji in the most basic one there is. He applied the pressure, but it wasn't that much. "Still think that wrestling's fake now, Ryuji?"
"Don't know what this is trying to prove...!" Ryuji tried to break free of the hold, but to no avail. The Masked Royal wouldn't let him go anywhere.
Link really wanted Zelda to have that teapot he got for her, but the only problem was that the teapot was in the hands of Falco. So the Hylian had to pry the teapot away from the avian pilot and give it to its rightful.
"I bought this teapot for Zelda, and I know she really wants it," Link explained to Falco, as he was peering at the teapot resting on the table next to the avian pilot. "So, can I trade you for it?"
"No trades," Falco shook his head, as he was fully content with his gift. That's when Link took out the shamrock keychain that he got during the Yankee Swap. As if Falco would accept a gift that he originally bought for his Secret Santa.
"Come on, it's a shamrock keychain. Good luck."
"'A real man makes his own luck.' Billy Zane. Titanic."
"Look, it has sentimental value, Falco. Can I buy it from you?"
"No. I want it. I'm going to use it."
"You don't even drink tea."
"True. But sometimes I get sinus infections, and I've read that a sinus infection can be cured by making your tea from green tea leaf stems and pouring it directly into your nose, like so."
Falco would demonstrate for Link, as he grabbed the teapot and pretended to pour some imaginary liquid into his nose. Link watched the demonstration with a scowl, believing that Falco was doing it all wrong.
Link: To think that my gift for Zelda will be used for that, it's a little too much to handle.
Snake had sampled most of Dingodile's catering, and now he could get back to what he came to do at Mario's house...find that journal. His search led him upstairs to Mario's room - since the journal wasn't in the living room. The bedroom door was locked, but there was someone inside.
"Why am I doing this..." a voice was heard from behind the bedroom door, which Snake had his ear pressed against. The voice sounded like Genji's. "...I am supposed to be with Tracer and my friends."
"Well, we could've done the initiation at Luigi's place, if not for Daisy vacuuming the master bedroom," Yuffie was heard speaking, as Snake mulled over whether or not knocking on the door was worth it. "So, here we are!"
"I demand that you release me at once! I will never be a part of your silly group." Genji sounded like he was miserable, and Snake couldn't let the ninja's misery go on any longer. So he did what he felt was the right thing, and knocked.
"Hello...it's Ryu Hayabusa," said Snake, with his best attempt at recreating Hayabusa's voice. An excited squeal was heard, as Yuffie opened the door.
"How nice of you to..." Yuffie spoke, only for her excitement to die down real quick when she saw that it was just Snake. "...hey! What did you do to Hayabusa, Snake?"
"I did nothing to him." Snake brushed past Yuffie and went inside Mario's bedroom, where he saw Greninja, Asuka, Kat, and Ana gathered with Genji. Genji was tied to a chair so that he wouldn't escape.
"...I can explain," Genji said to Snake, who was giving the cyborg ninja a judging look for the situation that he found himself in. "But I would have to spare many embarrassing details..."
"Save it for another time." Snake went down to business, as he searched around the room for the journal. But no matter where he looked, he couldn't seem to find it anywhere. "Uh, have any of you seen a journal in this room?"
"Saw Professor E. Gadd grab it off of Mario's dresser," replied Kat, bringing much panic and worry to Snake. "It was like a few minutes ago."
"A few minutes ago?!" Snake recalled using the bathroom around that time; could've stopped E. Gadd then. "Ugh..." The former spy left the room, keeping his eyes peeled for a certain inventor.
"Wait, so you're not going to save me?" Genji called out to Snake, who was long gone, AS Yuffie slowly closed the bedroom door. "Help, HEEEEEEELP!"
Winston: Strange, Genji was supposed to meet us at the museum. Oh well. Hope he doesn't mind us going in without him!
Snake hustled his way down the stairs, coincidentally spotting E. Gadd at the end of the staircase. E. Gadd was speaking with Eggman, who was still talking up a storm about his dripped-out Christmas sweater.
"That $10,000 for the project could've funded my very own line of Christmas sweaters," Eggman discussed with E. Gadd as Snake stood by, waiting for his presence to be acknowledged. "But no! You wanted me to buy some machine parts instead!"
"Quite frankly, I did not foresee Sephiroth being a thorn in our plans," responded E. Gadd, missing the point of why Eggman was so furious. The inventor soon saw Snake standing around. "Ah, Snake!"
"Where's that journal?" Snake bluntly asked E. Gadd, getting straight to the point. He didn't want to wait around for E. Gadd to cough out an answer.
"Journal? Hmm..." E. Gadd took a moment to think to himself, and soon he recalled the journal that Snake was referring to. "...oh yes, the journal! I put it back where it was."
"Okay...that really doesn't tell me anything." If Snake wanted to find that journal, he needed specific information from E. Gadd. "Can you elaborate?"
"I put it back in the living room. That's where it was, originally." So E. Gadd went to the living room and was looking on the living room tables for the journal. Which was nowhere to be found.
"Everything alright, Snake?" Impa asked the former spy, who couldn't be bothered with any conversation at the moment. Finding the journal was a pressing issue for him.
"No, that stupid two-eyes misplaced the journal," replied Snake, as he was checking underneath the couch cushions. Cloud and Terra were sitting on the couch at the moment, but Snake didn't care.
"Let loose already - you've been agitated the entire time you've been here," Cloud said to Snake, who stopped his searching as he confronted the swordsman. "A journal, really?"
"Imagine caring so much about some stupid journal," remarked Erdrick, who struck a nerve with Snake; he struck one already just by showing up.
"Screw you guys...I'm outta here," Snake said to everyone as he left the house for good, glaring at Edrick as he made his exit. He couldn't find that journal - no point in wasting his time endlessly searching for it.
"Crikey...you sure put a sock in him," Ty said to Edrick, as he approached the hero while holding a drink. The Tasmanian tiger took a big sip. "He wasn't exactly swell company anyway."
"Just as I was told..." responded Edrick, as Eggman and E. Gadd emerged from the stairs both wondering where Snake ran off to.
Jigglypuff finally returned to the party, after the balloon Pokemon got over how Mario was acting in regards to his oven mitt gift. She didn't come along, for two individuals followed her to the ballroom.
"Uh oh, looks like Santa was a little naughty!" smiled Anna as she and Master Hand arrived at the ballroom; Anna was holding the bags of vodka bottles in her hand.
"What is that?" inquired Peach, watching with caution as Anna placed the bags on the table where the drinks were. The table almost collapsed from the weight.
"This is Christmas spirit, as in spirits, booze," explained Master Hand, who wanted the Melee veterans to drink to their heart's content - never mind the fact that some of them weren't allowed to consume alcohol.
"We're really not supposed to have alcohol," stated Young Link, one of the partygoers who wasn't morally obligated to drink any of the vodkas; Ness and the Pokemon also fell under the label.
"Zip it, Young Link! Just...I mean, it's a party. Come on. If I can't throw a good party for my residents, then I am a terrible landlord. Who wants a drink?"
"Me, please," replied Ganondorf as he raised his hand, hustling over to the table where the vodka was. The demon lord had absolutely no problem drinking his cares away.
"Here we go!" exclaimed Anna, taking one of the vodka bottles out of the bag and twisting the cap open. The merchant poured the vodka into a cup and gave it to Ganondorf.
Ganondorf: The deal is that this is my last hurrah because I made a New Year's resolution that I'm not going to drink anymore. During the week.
Anna wasn't the only non-Melee person to stop by the party, for the rest of the party planning committee - Palutena, Viridi, Rosalina, and Travis made a trip to the ballroom. Travis brought his wife Sylvia Christel with him.
"Hi, everyone," Palutena greeted the Melee partygoers, as she and the others got plenty of dubious looks. Palutena would be lying if she said that she didn't expect it. "It's okay, Master Hand said we were welcome to attend!"
"How lovely," mumbled Samus before glaring at Master Hand; to think she was actually enjoying the party due to how small it was in size.
"Does everybody know my smoking hot wife, Sylvia Christel?" Travis asked everyone, before spotting the trio of Yoshi, Mewtwo, and Mr. Game and Watch chilling in the corner of the ballroom. The otaku brought Sylvia over to the three, to see if they knew his wife.
"Hi, I'm Yoshi!" Yoshi introduced himself to Sylvia; so far, it was 0 for 1.
"Sylvia Christel - former agent of the United Assassins Association," Sylvia introduced herself to Yoshi as she happily shook the green dinosaur's hand.
"I am Mewtwo," Mewtwo introduced himself to Sylvia; now it was 0 for 2.
"Sylvia Christel - former agent of the United Assassins Association," Sylvia introduced herself to Mewtwo as she happily shook the genetic Pokemon's hand.
"You can call me Mr. Game and Watch," Mr. Game and Watch greeted Sylvia - 0 for 3! Travis must be feeling kinda disappointed.
"Sylvia Christel - former agent of the United Assassins Association," Sylvia introduced herself to Mr. Game and Watch as she happily shook the 2-D man's hand.
"What line of work did you use to work in, Sylvia?"
"I think after I lost Jameis Winston and D.J. Chark, it was over, man," Fox said to Falco, as the pilots were discussing some fantasy football. Unfortunately for Fox, his fantasy squad had a lot of players on injured reserve.
"Oh, yeah, I need Derek Carr and Stefon Diggs to have big games, or else I'm done," said Falco, whose team was on the verge of making the playoffs. One loss and it was consolation games for him.
"It's possible. I can't believe you traded Najee Harris, man."
"I had to. I needed defense."
"Come on! Najee Harris? He's one of the best backs in the league."
"It's defense."
"Oh, no. That is not worth it."
"It is worth it."
"Never. Never ever."
"Are you kidding? You wait."
People were shocked to learn that King Dedede liked Captain Syrup...and people were even more shocked to learn that Captain Syrup liked King Dedede back. Captain Syrup stopped by the mansion to see Dedede, wanting to be with her...with her man.
"It's not often that your lover is royalty," the pirate said to Professor Burnet in the hallway, as she and King Dedede looked in each other's eyes lovingly. Burnet was trying to hold her tongue. "You wouldn't know yourself."
"My husband is a Pokemon professor," stated Burnet, in the hopes of possibly impressing Captain Syrup - but Captain Syrup wasn't all that impressed. "He's also a pro wrestler, on the side!"
"Heh, I won't believe it until I see it," responded King Dedede, wrapping his arm around Captain Syrup as he led the pirate away. "Let's go, babe."
"I have some video if you wanna see!" Didn't seem that King Dedede and Captain Syrup were interested, as neither one stopped. Burnet let out an exasperated sigh. "It was worth a shot..."
"Professor Burnet!" Kamui called out to the Pokemon professor, as she came over with her boyfriend Silas. "Do you have a minute?"
"There's a wrestler beating up someone in the gaming room," Silas explained to Burnet, who was hoping that the wrestler wasn't who she thought it was. "We both think that it might be..."
"Let me guess - is it the Masked Royal?" Burnet asked Kamui and Silas, who both looked at each other before nodding their heads. "Why him..."
As a request from Master Hand, Mario went around the ballroom snapping pictures of the partygoers on a digital camera. A digital camera that Master Hand himself happened to own. Master Hand wanted the pictures to be "wholesome" so that they would look perfect on a Christmas scrapbook.
"Anybody making out in here?" asked Mario he looked underneath a table, pulling up the tablecloth before pulling it back down. "Not-a yet, give it time. Oh, hey, Ebenezer, boink!" Mario spotted Link and took a picture of him. "Okay, how's it going in here?" Mario then saw Ganondorf and Gerudo Ganon drinking together and took a picture of them as well.
"We're running low on cups," Donkey Kong said to Mario, as the cup he was holding looked awfully tiny in his hand. "Do you want me to just run out and get some?"
"No, no, no, no," answered Master Hand as he injected himself into the conversation, wanting to keep Donkey Kong at the ballroom at all costs. "I'll have Anna find some, don't leave the party."
Professor Burnet followed Kamui and Silas to the gaming room, where the Masked Royal was putting Ryuji through a world of hurt. He had the delinquent in the Boston Crab maneuver, while Pit was cheering him on.
"Yeah, keep applying the pressure!" cheered Pit, who relished seeing the pain and anguish on Ryuji's face. Urbosa, who had returned to the gaming room, shared Pit's sentiments.
"You know, I kind of like him more when he's in pain," the Gerudo said to the other Champions regarding Ryuji, as Burnet ran over to the Masked Royal to try and stop him.
"Leave him alone!" Pit barked at Burnet, who was trying to pull the Masked Royal off of Ryuji. "He's trying to send a message."
"This is...so...uncalled for," said Burnet, struggling to free Ryuji from the Masked Royal's hold. Switching up her method, the professor targeted the Masked Royal's mask, pulling on it.
"Not the mask, not the mask!" the Masked Royal shouted, knowing how dishonored he would be if his mask was ripped off. "I can't afford to..."
It was too late, as Burnet pulled the mask off of the Masked Royal's face. Everyone in the gaming room gasped, as the Masked Royal was revealed to be...
"Professor Kukui?!" exclaimed Pit, with his hands on his face. He was the most shocked out of everyone. "But if you're him...then the Masked Royal is..."
"The Masked Royal is just an alter ego of mine, Pit," explained a dishonored Kukui, releasing his hold on Ryuji as he stood up. Ryuji let out a great sigh of relief, his back and legs no longer en fuego. "You've figured me out."
Professor Kukui: I had changed into my Masked Royal attire, only since Pit and I were doing some wrestling-related stuff. After I was done changing - I kid you not - Pit asked me, "Where did Professor Kukui go?". I was glad he didn't find out my identity, but something about that exchange almost made me pity the guy.
"Professor Kukui? That was you this whole time?" Ryuji asked the professor, holding his aching back as Ann offered to help the delinquent up to his feet. "Why me? I'm one of your biggest fans!"
"Pit put me up to it," admitted Kukui, as he received his wrestling mask from Burnet. "He wanted me to bust out a few wrestling moves on you, to prove that wrestling is..."
"...to prove what, that wrestling's real? I mean, the moves the wrestlers do in the ring are real...but everything else isn't!"
"Define 'everything else,'" Pit requested of Ryuji, anxious to know what the delinquent was referring to. Ryuji growled his teeth at Pit, tired of the angel as he stormed out of the gaming room. "Ryuji, what, tell me what this 'everything else' is!"
"Could've just told him the truth," Burnet said to Kukui, curious as to why her man held out on educating Pit. "But nope, you just had to beat up a young man instead..."
"Some things...are better off learning for yourself," responded Kukui, keeping it as cordial as possible while he reflected upon his actions. "But either way, I should've followed your advice."
"Yeah. Sorry for ripping off your mask and revealing your identity." Fortunately, Kukui didn't seem to mind as he looked around the gaming room with a smile. He figured that most of the others deduced that he was the Masked Royal.
"It's all good! Say, there's a mistletoe over there..." Indeed there was a mistletoe - hanging above in the back of the gaming room. "...how about we finish what we started?"
"I don't see why we can't." So Kukui and Burnet walked over to under the mistletoe and got to smooching right away. Toon Link happened to enter the gaming room and caught the two professors in the act of kissing.
"PDA SPOTTED AT FIVE O'CLOCK!" the Hylian shouted as he pointed at Kukui and Burnet, who stopped kissing as Toon Link pulled out handcuffs. "You two are under arrest!"
"But it's a mistletoe!" stated Kukui, but nothing he could say was able to free him from a potential arrest. "Not again..."
"One, two, three," Mario, Donkey Kong, Ganondorf, and Travis said together before all four men took a shot of vodka simultaneously. Mario marked the occasion by snapping a quick photo of everyone, one that the other men didn't even ask for.
"Kudos to Travis, king-a of the party committee," Mario said to the otaku, as he gave him a toast; Travis was humbled by Mario's gesture, as he was grinning from ear to ear.
"Nah, I really didn't do anything," stated Travis, giving all of the credit to Palutena, Viridi, and Rosalina. Travis was mostly sitting in and listening to the conversations that the three ladies had.
"Oh, no, no. No false-a modesty, my friend." Meanwhile, Link was looking for Falco so he could ask him again about that teapot, only to run into Zelda instead.
"Hey Link, thanks for the present," Zelda thanked her husband...as she was holding the teapot that he got for her. Link was puzzled as Zelda gave the Hylian a kiss on the cheek.
"But I thought that Falco had the teapot," said Link, confused as to how Zelda managed to take the teapot off Falco's hands. She must've exerted her authoritative power on the avian pilot, against his will.
"He did, but I got him to trade it. Just, I figured, you know, you went to a lot of trouble and it means a lot. And also, Roy got me an iPod or was going to get me an iPod, so..."
"Well, either way. This is an amazing gift because it comes with bonus gifts. Look inside." So Zelda looked inside the teapot as he opened it, and saw that was inside.
"Oh my! The picture from the barbecue!" Zelda took out the picture of Link - the one that Mario took of the Hylian during the barbecue for Daisy's baby shower. It was an embarrassing photo of Link, but Zelda was enthralled seeing it. "It's incredible."
Zelda: Yes, I think I made the right choice.
Roy: *shakes his head* Why do I make such empty promises...?
For the longest time, Bowser wanted to try on Donkey Kong's Santa hat. The Koopa King didn't get to be Santa, so getting to wear the Santa hat just once during the party was all that he could ask for. Soon enough, he would get his wish.
"Bowser, there you go," Donkey Kong said to the Koopa King, who was noodling around on his phone, as he handed him his Santa hat. "You earned it."
"That's okay, Donkey Kong," responded Bowser, as he turned down the Santa hat. It was quite a shock to Donkey Kong, who didn't know what to say.
"No, I really, really want you to have it." At that moment, Bowser could tell how much Donkey Kong wanted him to wear the hat...and also how much Donkey Kong lowkey resented being Santa Claus.
"Alright. Thanks, man." Bowser conceded to Donkey Kong and accepted the Santa hat, placing it on his head. Wearing that hat made Bowser feel like the king of the world - but only during Christmas time.
"Hey, Merry Christmas." Donkey Kong patted Bowser on his shoulder, letting the Koopa King enjoy the Santa hat for however long he wished.
"Whose-a butt is that?" Luigi inquired as he saw pictures of someone's butt Xeroxed and plastered on the ballroom walls. Captain Falcon happened to walk by, trying to hide a mischievous smirk. "Was it you, Captain Falcon? Oh, how did I not guess-a that..."
"Lampshade on-a head!" shouted Mario as he came running inside the ballroom, wearing a lampshade over his head. "It's happening!" Lying on the floor passed out was Ganondorf, who had Jigglypuff scribbling all over his face with a red marker. A black marker wouldn't do any good.
"Thanks for the party, Mario," Yoshi thanked the plumber, before looking to his right and seeing Master Hand not that afar off. "You too, Master Hand."
"Listen up! We're going to get grab drinks at some steakhouse," announced Travis, planning on going to the steakhouse that Ryo Sakazaki's girlfriend, King, worked at. "Who's in?"
"I'm in," replied Roy, as he and a few others were game. The party in the ballroom was winding down...might as well party it up somewhere else. "Mario? What about you?"
"Yeah, that sounds-a good," replied Mario, as he was going through the photos he took on Master Hand's digital camera. Had to pick out the good photos from the bad ones.
Mario: Peony was right...Christmas is awesome! But not as awesome as appreciating the little gifts-a in life. And the big-a ones, too. The night's still-a young - I can make it up-a to Jigglypuff before midnight. That Yankee Swap at the party was done-a in poor taste.
"Hey, Anna. Heading over to the steakhouse?" Mario asked the merchant, who wandered over to the plumber - in a seemingly drunken stupor. Anna must've treated herself a bit too much.
"Yep," replied Anna, as she dropped her shirt to the floor. Thankfully, she was wearing a bra underneath, so Mario wouldn't be too alarmed should he make the mistake of turning his head around.
"Cool, cool, cool. Do you need a ride?" Mario looked at Anna and was disturbed by what he saw...before taking a quick picture of the sight. He would let Master Hand be the judge of that. "Alright, let's head-a out. Sounds good. Do you have a coat?"
"Yeah." Anna just stood there in place, not moving an inch as she likely had no idea where she was. As Mario left, he ran into Marth, who had Jigglypuff's handmade oven mitt.
"Marth, wanna make an exchange?" Mario took out his packet of paintball pellets, showing it to the hero-king. "Paintball battles just aren't-a my thing."
Erdrick returned to the mansion from Mario's house, bringing some Australian grub with him. Some meat pies, to be exact; Dingodile forced some on him. Edrick ate these meat pies in the foyer, as Bayonetta approached him.
"Well?" the Umbra Witch asked Erdrick, as she leaned in close to the hero. Erdrick was too busy chewing to utter a single word.
"These meat pies aren't half bad," Erdrick gave his honest critique on the meat pies, as he took another bite. "The ground beef and pork blend in well with the dried sage."
"I wasn't asking about the meat pies, boy...how was Snake acting?" Knowing that Bayonetta wanted the 4-1-1, Erdrick quickly scarfed down the meat pie he was eating.
"Acting super suspicious, just like you said. And he wouldn't shut up about that journal. He left the house empty-handed." That was all Bayonetta wanted to hear, as she patted Erdrick on the head for a job well done.
"Ah, what I would do to see what's inside that precious little journal of his...thank you, Erdrick. You go be a good boy now!" Bayonetta left Erdrick alone, and after she left, the Luminary popped up.
"Hey, are those meat pies?" the Luminary asked Erdrick, who had a bunch of meat pies sitting next to him. At least Erdrick won't be going hungry tonight. "Dingodile's doing some catering?"
Bayonetta: As his roommate, I am privileged to know what secrets Snake has. Speaking with his friend has only made him look more suspicious than usual. And he got coals in our room for a reason.
"You can have some if you like," Erdrick said to the Luminary as he offered him a meat pie. Soon Jigglypuff passed by and took sight of Erdrick's gub. "You too, Jigglypuff. Take as much as you want."
"Jigglypuff!" squealed Jigglypuff, taking a few meat pies off of Edrick's hands. The balloon Pokemon happily walked away, and soon she ran into the man that upset her at the Christmas party...Mario, who was holding something behind his back.
"Guess-a what I got?" Mario asked Jigglypuff, before revealing the oven mitt that the balloon Pokemon knitted for him. "Turns out an oven mitt-a isn't so bad. At least-a compared to 'free' paintball lessons."
"Jigglypuff Jigglypuff!" Jigglypuff was ecstatic that Mario finally came around, as she gave the plumber a hug. Which was hard to do, given her stubby arms. But Mario kindly returned the favor.
"Yes, I love-a you too, Jigglypuff. Hope-a you enjoy you gift you got!" Mario and Jigglypuff both went their separate ways, with Jigglypuff heading to the Pokemon sanctuary and Mario heading outside.
And guess who was the first person Mario encountered when he stepped onto the mansion porch? Dr. Eggman, who really wanted Mario to check out his Christmas sweater. Eggman refused to let Mario leave until he heard his honest thoughts.
"Today's National Christmas Sweater Day!" Eggman said to Mario, who could care less what "National _ Day" it was. He just wanted to return home. "With that being said...what do you think of my Christmas sweater?"
"It's-a National Ugly Christmas Sweater Day," Mario corrected Eggman, who was left stunned as his jaw dropped to the porch. "Way to miss the point." Mario went down the porch steps and to his home, anticipating the Wayfinder trio to present. In fact, the trio was just outside Mario's house, with E. Gadd.
"A Christmas gift, for us?" said Terra, as E. Gadd handed the Keyblade Master a Christmas present. Very generous of E. Gadd, considering that he knew the Wayfinder trio for only a day.
"Happy holidays," smiled E. Gadd, with his one-tooth grin; it pleased Mario seeing E. Gadd already gelling with the Wayfinder trio. It boded well for the future.
"Any presents for me?" Mario asked E. Gadd with his hands clasped together. If E. Gadd had a gift for Terra, Ventus, and Aqua, surely he'd have one for Mario.
"Nope! That was my only one today." Met with disappointment, Mario lowered his head in sadness as he went inside his house. "But I may surprise you on Christmas Day!"
"Forget about it..." Mario was barely in his house for less than half a minute when he asked the following question. "...Spyro, Hunter, have you seen-a my journal? Or did-a you take it, Impa?"
"I have a few Christmas presents I must wrap up back home," E. Gadd said to the Wayfinder trio, ready to leave. "They're for Luigi's children, mostly."
"Didn't know Luigi let you be his kids' grandpa," Aqua said to E. Gadd; if Luigi did, then it must be a strong indicator of how close he and E. Gadd were.
"Luigi's fine with it, Daisy...not so much. I must go - gotta grab some wrapping paper before the store closes. And some toilet paper, too. Toodles!"
"Man, what an eccentric old guy he is" remarked Ventus, shortly after E. Gadd had left. If you looked up the word "eccentric" in the dictionary, you just might find a picture of E. Gadd.
"At least he's not Master Xehanort," quipped Terra, as he and his friends shared a laugh together. Mario came out of his house, just to speak with the Wayfinder trio.
"Whoops...forgot to ask-a you about the get-together!" the plumber said to the Wayfinder trio, wanting to chat with the three before they left. "How was it?"
"It was nice. The company you brought over was pleasant. And just so you're aware, you got plenty of food to snack on until Christmas."
"Your Dingodile friend brought in that catering," Aqua stated to Mario, who didn't mind - having some food from the land down under was a huge positive in his eyes. "I think you owe him a big thank you."
"You're right. I should-a thank him now!" So Mario went back inside the house, and instead of thanking Dingodile as he said he would... "Dingodile! Where is my journal? Don't play dumb-a with me!"
"I suppose he can thank him later..." If Mario would stop being so fixated on the journal, he would. "...you boys feeling like going to the mansion?"
"Sure," replied Ventus, as the Wayfinder trio went to the mansion. "Bet Pyra and Mythra baked a new batch of Christmas cookies!"