Author's Note:
So this chapter, which was originally planned for February 4th, has been moved up to today. Why? Because, well, I have another chapter planned for that day. And it has something to do with a certain game coming to the Switch on the first day of February. Any guesses as to what it is? Had to make a change of plans, but it was worth it in the end. Now, to start of the year by answering some reviews:
"I think someone asked this question once (I'm not sure), but does Corrin and Kamui knows about Owain, Inigo, and Severa? And did they call them Odin, Laslow, and Selena?"
They do know about those three, and they do call them by their respective names. They haven't interacted with the three yet in this story, though. Another anonymous review:
"Have you seen the new sonic movie trailer? What's your opinion on it?"
I have seen the new Sonic movie trailer. The movie looks promising...for a video game movie, that is. David has questions:
"Now that Leia and the Hearts siblings are gone, there won't be no more Tales character appearances or anyone will take their place? (TIME TO GO won in the end). A Dusk Diver chapter? (It's getting a sequel). A scene of Pit making Ryuji watch the 2014 and 2015 Royal Rumble? (Many consider those two Rumbles to be the worst). Has Lee Chaolan appeared yet? (Maybe have him and Jun show up in the same chapter). And finally, do you think 2021 was the year of RPG games for the Nintendo Switch?"
No one will take their place; Colette might make occasional visits for the time being. Don't know about a Dusk Diver chapter as of right now. I won't do that scene. Lee Chaolan hasn't appeared yet. And I do think that 2021 was the year of RPG games on the Switch - the Pokemon Gen IV remakes, Monster Hunter Rise, SMT V, Bravely Default II...the list goes on. Next is An NFL fan:
"Dude, did you watched the Bucs-Jets game? Antonio Brown is causing trouble again! That man would never be on another team ever again. Don't know why, but I'm blaming Sephiroth for this."
I saw the highlights, and, uh...yeah, that whole sequence of Antonio Brown taking off his jersey and leaving during the game while doing jumping jacks was perhaps the most bizarre thing I've seen in any NFL game. Can't see him playing in the NFL again, given how much of a headcase he is. And finally...A suggestion:
"A New Year resolution chapter?"
If there was to be a New Year resolution chapter, it would've been this one. Could do one next week, but new year's resolutions would be out of style by then.
Episode 316: Otacon
The past two weeks at the mansion were arguably the biggest weeks at the mansion in recent times. Partly due to the holiday festivities. Anna had brought in a whole bunch of folks to stay in Seattle, from a plethora of talented Pokemon trainers to even a couple of athletes who partook in the 2020 Summer Olympics. As Sombra would say, Master Hand had another hostage situation on his hands - this one courtesy of Anna.
Since New Year's Day, things have gotten back to normal. All the hotels outside that the guests stayed in were demolished, and so was the shrine that the RWBY gang and Impa stayed in. Speaking of Ruby and her friends, the four ladies had returned to their universe and a few mansion residents - Ema Skye, Leia Rolando, and the Hearts siblings - returned to their homes as well. Oh, and Cortex got arrested, after getting framed. Poor guy was behind bars at the moment.
But today, the mansion would receive another guest, one only stopping by at the request of Snake. Snake, who had been acting suspiciously as of late, was all giddy to see a good friend of his. It was a friend that he would keep close contact with when he was speaking on his codec.
Master Hand: Snake's good friend, Hal Emmerich, is about to stop by and do a brief scoping of the mansion today. And...I'm...pretty nervous about it. And I'm making some cosmetic tweaks to help create a more appealing environment. Is that dishonest? Well, think of it this way: when you look in the mirror and you see your push-up bra and your fake eyelashes and your make-up and your press-on nails; the principles that I am applying to the mansion are the same ones that have made Lady Gaga a star...or any number of drag queens.
Hal Emmerich had arrived at the mansion, being let in by Copper and Booker. The hacker expected someone inside to welcome him, but he saw nobody in the foyer when he entered the mansion.
"Hello! Anyone home?" Hal called out, hoping that he hadn't visited the mansion while the residents were out vacationing or something. Because that would be horrible timing.
"Hello, Hal Emmerich," a voice greeted Hal, speaking from an intercom system. The voice sounded like it belonged to Pit. "Welcome to the Smash Mansion. I am Computron, your answer to everything."
"Hi, Computron!" Being a hacker, Hal was always intrigued by any remotely cool technology thingamajig, so he was easily a huge fan of Computron. Soon Link entered the foyer, strangely riding on a Segway Scooter while wearing a helmet.
"I see you've met Computron, our virtual helper," Link said to Hal as he came over to the hacker to shake his hand. Wouldn't be too much of a surprise to find out that Master Hand put him up to do this. "I'm Link, the man of the mansion. Welcome. Welcome. Computron is just one of the many modern devices that I have incorporated into the building. Watch this. Computron?"
"Yes?" asked Computron, awaiting whatever Link had for him; considering who was in charge of voicing Computron, this was truly a make-or-break moment.
"What is the world's largest ocean?" Only four oceans existed on the planet, so the chances of answering this question wrong were slim - though getting it wrong in general would be a very bad look.
"Calculating. Calculating. Pacific!" No way Pit was able to answer this question with his own intellect, rather than needing any sort of assistance.
"Pacific Ocean. Pretty cool, huh?" Link looked to see if Hal was impressed, and Hal was very much so as he smiled and nodded his head.
"Great news, Link," Popo said to the Hylian as he and Nana entered the foyer, with Zelda not too far behind. "Ice Climbers Ice Cream is now the official ice cream brand of the NFL." Now it seemed like Master Hand was really trying to fluff up things around the mansion.
"That is fantastic. It's good, but it's not good enough. Keep working. And here's Zelda. She's not only the woman of the mansion but also our international ambassador."
"Hello," Zelda greeted Hal as she shook the hacker's hand; the princess didn't dig her "international ambassador" title, but she had no choice but to wear it for now.
"The NFL celebrated its 50th anniversary in 1972," interrupted Computron; in actuality, the NFL celebrated its 50th anniversary three years earlier, in 1969. C'mon, Pit, get your facts straight!
"Hola. Bonjour. Ni Hao." Zelda was showing off her bilingual tongue to Hal, trying to leave a lasting impression on him...when in actuality, she was just following orders from Master Hand.
Link: Master Hand wanted me to ride on a Segway, just so I could show a little "personality" to Hal. And he also named Zelda the mansion's international ambassador just for today, which would explain why she spoke in those different languages. Oh, and the Ice Climbers have an official ice cream brand now. So, that's where we are.
"Hello, Barret!" Link greeted Barret as the eco-terrorist passed by, although it really wasn't Barret Wallace at all...instead, it was B.D. Joe, who wore the same sunglasses and attire that Barret did.
"Sup Link!" B.D. Joe returned the favor with a smile and a wave, as he continued on his merry way. Hal could tell that wasn't Barret Wallace, as he couldn't be fooled that easily.
Zelda: For the record? Not on board with fake Barret...although, I get it.
"Uh, I just need to check out your basement and then talk to Snake," Hal explained to Link and Zelda, eager to speak with Snake in person. It's been a while. "That is pretty much the only reason I'm here."
"Okay, well, I thought I'd show you around a little bit..." Link said to Hal, as he and Zelda led the hacker down the hallway for a brief tour. "...since you made the trip out. And I got us reservations at Cooper's Seafood. You like lobster? You've had lobster before, right?"
"Yeah." Hal sure could go for some seafood, and a perfectly steamed lobster would definitely be pleasing for his stomach.
"They make the best Maine lobster in the world. You'll love it." As would be expected since Seattle is mostly known for its delicious seafood.
"Mul Yam in Tel Aviv is better," stated Computron - a hundred bucks that Pit doesn't know what country Tel Aviv is in.
"No, Computron, actually I think Cooper's is the best. You're gonna love it."
"Are you calling me wrong? Who are you to insinuate that Computron is wrong?"
Hal: It's called 'due diligence'. Basically, I confirm inventory, take a headcount, see if there are any liabilities in the mansion. I'm a glorified fact-checker. *pauses* Actually, I am a fact-checker, in most cases.
"Alright, excuse me," Link said to Hal as he slid past the hacker to close the door to a closet - one that Bowser Jr. was in. Hal saw a glimpse of the young Koopa. "If you will..."
"Link, do you think I could get a space heater..." Bowser Jr. tried to speak with the Hylian, who quickly slammed the closet door on the young Koopa. So much for that space heater.
"...follow me this way. I'll show you the crack spy that you wanted to speak with. I give you Solid Snake. Have fun, you two." Link and Zelda brought Hal to the end of the hallway, where Snake was sitting in a wheeling chair with his back turned. It was almost like Snake wanted to do a little pizzazz.
However, Hal would be met with disappointment when the chair spun around, revealing instead Pit dressed up as Snake. Had the spy suit, headband, beard, and everything else that was necessary, while his wings were hidden in plain sight.
"Oh, we will," said Pit, speaking in a gravelly voice similar to Snake's, as Link and Zelda awkwardly left the premises. "Have a seat." Pit brought Hal's attention to a chair that was next to him.
Master Hand: I left a copy of Best American Mystery Stories 1999 in the bathroom that I predetermined Snake to go into. So, yes, I think I bought us some time.
Link: Do I feel bad for duping Hal? *thinks about it* Hal's a pretty smart guy, so I don't think it's all too bad.
"Don't mind if I ask, but where is the real Snake?" Hal asked Pit, as he took a seat in the chair across from the angel. "Also, Link's even more of a character than I imagined him to be."
"He has more character in a single flake of his dandruff than you have in that entire snow bank on your shoulder," Pit said to Hal, in an oddly defensive tone, as he somehow lost his train of thought mid-sentence. "Wait, what was the question?"
"What are you doing dressed up like me?" Snake questioned Pit, as he showed up in the hallway after his bathroom break. Pitgulped nervously at the sight of the former spy.
"Ignore him. He's the resident lunatic." Pit's warning to Hal wouldn't work, for Hal knew that the real Snake was in his presence as opposed to some lousy imposter.
"Come on, Pit. Get out of here." Snake was looking like he meant business, and Pit knew it from the jump too as he hurriedly got up out of his chair. Didn't want a ticked-off Snake kicking his butt.
"Pit? Who is this Pit? Oh! You mean Pit, the top fighter in Smash and the owner of Computron. I wear many hats but the one I'm currently wearing is that of a gracious host." Pit laughed at the end of his spiel, but it wasn't enough to wipe the scowl off of Snake's face.
"Get out..." Doing as he was told, Pit scrammed away from the scene, as Snake appeared more friendly and approached his good friend, Hal. "...sorry about that, Hal. Great to see your face again."
"Happy to see you, old friend!" smiled Hal, happy that his codec calls with Snake had brought him to the mansion where he could see his buddy in person. "Is there a place where we can have our discussion in private?" Thankfully, Snake knew just the spot.
Snake took Hal to a room where the Smash Life producers LeVar and Brad had most of their documentary footage. Hal took a seat next to the large computer screen in the room, and Snake would take a seat as well.
"This is where most of the magic happens, in this room," Snake explained to Hal, who was marveling at all the laptops that were present. Hal's technology fascination was at an all-time high - or somewhat closet to it. "Where stuff gets sliced and diced and edited for the final product."
"Very interesting," remarked Hal, who wanted to have a word with the producers about how they ran their documentary. But first, he had to get down to business. "Um, are there any outstanding liability issues to be aware of?
"What do you mean by these liability issues?" Snake was starting to fear that Hal was speaking with the wrong person. Where was Master Hand when you needed him?
"Well, safety issues, injuries that could leave this mansion open to potential lawsuits."
"Um...nothing comes to mind." As Snake rested his elbow on the desk behind his, his elbow landed on a laptop, accidentally clicking something. A video started playing on the large computer screen. "Uh oh..."
Note: The scenes separated by the "xxx" will be presented as archival scenes.
Villager, for whatever reason, had acquired a spud gun and wanted to show it off to the others outside. The young lad was running around showing off his toy gun, which was only capable of firing potato pieces and nothing else. Quite possibly a dangerous weapon, if used the wrong way.
"Guys! Check it out! Spudgun!" Villager said to those who were outside, as he was firing away with his spud gun. "Woohoo! Bon appetit!" Villager accidentally shot a spud through a window in someone's home - Marth's home.
"That's my house," Marth frowned at Villager, as one of his living room windows was now broken. He better hope that insurance would cover for it.
"Sorry," Villager apologized to Marth, putting his spud gun away as Marth was still frowning at him. Hopefully, that Villager learned his lesson.
xxx
Back when Fox and Falco did their parkour shenanigans back in episode 44, the two pilots recruited Captain falcon to join the fray. They believed that parkour required speed - and Captain Falcon was as speedy as they come.
"Okay, we all go together or we go one at a time," Fox said to Falco and Captain Falcon, as the three stood atop a tractor-trailer in the mansion's driveway.
"Here it is, here it is..." Captain Falcon said to Fox and Falco, as he had mapped out the perfect parkour path in his head. "...truck, to refrigerator boxes, to the dumpster, 360 onto the pallets, backflip gainer to the trash can."
"Yeah! Gainer! Woohoo!" Fox and Falco cheered in unison, both being huge fans of Captain Falcon's wicked crazy idea. It was definitely wicked crazy, alright.
"Hardcore Parkour!" shouted Falco, getting a little too pumped up, although Fox and Captain Falcon were both the same exact way. Those boys had no idea what they were getting themselves into. "Let's do it!"
So Captain Falcon leaped from the tractor-trailer and then disappeared as he landed in the empty refrigerator box. Concerned, Fox and Falco looked down to make sure that Captain Falcon was okay.
"Parkour!" Captain Falcon shouted from inside the refrigerator box, sounding injured. He might not have made it to the dumpster, but at least he got his foot off!
xxx
Having to run a quick errand for Palutena, Mega Man asked Sonic - for better and for worse - to drive him to the grocery store. As Sonic backed out of the driveway in his corvette, he couldn't help but notice that Mega Man was sitting in a peculiar spot.
"Seriously? You're going to sit in the back?" Sonic asked Mega Man, as he backed his car out into the road. He was responsible enough to look both ways before backing out.
"Uh, yeah? It's the safest part of the car," replied Mega Man, sounding like a total nerd as Sonic took off down the road. "In the event of a crash, the driver always protects his side of the car first." Wanting to make a fool out of Mega Man, Sonic slammed hard on the brakes, causing Mega Man's head to slam into the back of the hedgehog's seat.
xxx
A wild Zubat was on the loose at the mansion, having escaped from the Pokemon sanctuary. Only one person was poised - or rather, asked - to handle the situation, and that person, apparently...was Pit. The angel kept his eyes peeled for the Zubat, as he soon found the bat Pokemon flying around in the lounge.
"Magic time," said Pit as he spotted the Zubat, which was flying right above Kamui's head. The angel let out a battle cry as he put a bag over the Zubat..while also Kamui's head, inadvertently.
"Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! Get off! Get off me! Get off me!" shouted Kamui, as she felt the Zubat flapping its wings against her.
"Hold still, Kamui!" Pit was trying to maintain possession of the Zubat, trying to hold still while expecting the same from Kamui.
"Get off me! Get it off! Ahhhh!" Eventually, Pit got a hold of the Zubat as he captured it in the bag. His mission was a success - although Kamui was quite bothered.
"You're welcome..." Pit saluted Kamui, whose hair was all messed up, as the angel ran out of the lounge with his catch. Time to take that Zubat back to the sanctuary where it belonged.
Snake had an embarrassed look on his face, as Hal had seen the four clips on the computer screen. The former spy looked at his friend, who was relatively alarmed by the footage he had seen.
"I see that safety isn't a top priority around here," remarked Hal, as Snake exited from the program that was playing the footage. "So, the residents - are they generally happy?"
"Happy's a funny word," Snake responded with a laugh - a laugh that only brought forth more suspicion to Hal. Snake was finding it increasingly hard to discuss the mansion in a positive light. "You know, uh, what does it mean to be happy? Keep philosophers busy for a while."
"So...generally?" Hal wasn't fully convinced, for he could easily tell that Snake was withholding a lot of juicy information from him. Info that he deserved the right to know.
"Generally happy." Still not convinced, Hal wheeled his way over to the desk and grabbed the laptop that played the footage. "Hey, you're not allowed to touch that!"
"Sorry, Snake, but I reserve the right to know what goes on around here." Hal pressed a key on the laptop, as more footage began to play.
Samus was in the living room, doing one thing that she did best...ordering some pizza for the mansion. As the bounty hunter placed the order over the phone, Mario wandered into the living room with a misAnnvous smile.
"Yeah, that's no problem," Samus spoke into the phone, as Mario inched closer and closer to the bounty hunter without making a single sound. "Sure. Uh-huh."
"Samus? Knock, knock," Mario said to the bounty hunter, wanting to tell her a knock-knock joke. It was a knock-knock joke that he believed would knock Samus's shoes off, and then some.
"I'm on the phone," Samus said to Mario as she pointed at the phone, before resuming her phone call. But Mario refused to go undeterred.
"I know you are. Knock, knock." Mario would wait out the entire phone call if it meant getting to tell Samus his world-famous joke.
"Yeah, that's our address. 1999...Smash Avenue." As Samus gave the address to the mansion, Mario had joined in, reciting the address along with the bounty hunter. "Correct. Thank you. Bye." With the order now in place, Samus ended the phone call and turned her attention to Mario. "You really made me look unprofessional there."
"They would never know it was me doing it. Here-a we go! Knock, knock." Sensing that Mario was telling a knock-knock joke, Pit excitedly ran to the living room.
"Who's there?" Samus let out a huge sigh, letting Mario know how little she cared for his silly little joke.
"Buddha."
"Buddha who?"
"Buddha this bread for me, won't you?" Mario placed a slice of bread and stick of butter on the couch that Samus was sitting on, as he and Pit shared a laugh.
"Great. Now there's butter on the couch." Master Hand wouldn't like any butter smeared on his furniture, even if it was a result of a knock-knock joke.
"I need-a something to wipe my hand. But that was helping. It was classic."
"I got a knock-knock joke," Pit said to Mario, who let out a groan; among his peers, Pit was perhaps the worst out of anyone at telling jokes. "Okay, Mario, please, please, please, please, please let me!"
"Alright." So Mario conceded and gave Pit the floor as Pit cleared his throat, ready to unleash his comedic mastery.
"Knock, knock."
"Who's there?"
"KGB."
"KGB..." Out of nowhere, Pit slapped Mario on the face, offending him greatly.
"We will ask the questions!" Pit spoke to Mario in a Russian accent, while also speaking in a reprimanding manner. That only left Mario even more offended - and confused.
"What the heck-a was that?!" Mario was left so offended by the joke, and the slap, that he started to fight with Pit. Samus watched on, amused.
"What are you doing?"
"What are-a you doing?"
"Hey! Hey! Stop it! Stop it!"
"You, you like-a that?"
"C'mon. What are you doing? Mine was a part of my hilarious joke." Soon Mario and Pit ended their tussling, as Link curiously entered the living room.
"Mine-a was retribution. What are you doing? No more knock-knock jokes. That's-a it." Mario would have to get Master Hand's authority on that first.
"Ding Dong," Link said to Mario, using a different variant of the knock-knock joke. If the knock-knock jokes were supposedly banned from the mansion, then maybe some ding-dong jokes might go in style.
"Who's there?"
"KGB."
"Pit, get-a the door."
"I'm not answering it," said Pit, showing some defiance as he folded his arms. He wasn't going to answer any door, not after what went down with him and Mario.
"Answer the door."
"Ding dong," Link said a second time, refusing to let his request go unanswered.
"No way, it's the KGB," declined Pit, knowing what tricks Link had up his sleeve.
"Ding dong."
"I'm not answering that. You answer it."
"I'm not-a gonna answer it," stated Mario, as he was in the same boat as Pit. Neither man wanted to answer the door.
"I'm not gonna answer it, it's the KGB." Soon Link slapped Pit, catching him off-guard as Mario laughed in response.
"The KGB will wait for no one!" proclaimed Link, speaking in a Russian accent that was arguably better than Pit's, as Mario continued to laugh.
"It's true," affirmed Pit, rubbing the side of his face that Link slapped on him. The angel had to admit that Link got him good.
xxx
The party planning committee was planning for a party thrown for the newest resident, Travis Touchdown, and things were getting pretty intense. Particularly between Palutena and Rosalina. The two were at odds after Palutena had given Rosalina stuff to do on a bunch of sticky notes.
"You can pick one of these things," Rosalina said to Palutena, approaching the goddess in the hallway with a bunch of post-it notes on her fingers. "It's unreasonable for you to ask me to do all of this."
"It should take no time at all if you put the care into it that you normally do," responded Palutena, and Rosalina would respond back by balling up the post-it notes and throwing them in the goddess of light's face before storming away. Palutena yelped in pain.
Rosalina: That seemed to shut her up.
xxx
Following a Halloween-themed Mario Party game that saw Mario get constantly screwed over by Master Hand, one of the party hosts, Symmetra, stopped by the mansion just to unwind for a bit. As the architect relaxed in the living room, she was suddenly joined by Bowser.
"Hello, how are you?" Bowser asked Symmetra, recognizing the architect despite her Halloween attire. He was speaking in an Indian accent, his voice raised.
"I was just involved in a party game," replied Symmetra, who really felt like taking her Halloween stuff off. The makeup on her face was really bothering her. "Only sticking around for an hour or two."
"Oh! Welcome to my convenience store. Would you like some googi googi? I have some very delicious googi, googi, only 99 cents plus tax. Try my googi, my googi, googi. Try my googi, googi. Try my..."
Symmetra soon had enough of Bowser's shenanigans, as she frowned and slapped the Koopa King silly. Bowser was left in shock and was even trying not to cry as he walked away while holding his face.
Bowser: Alright! Yes! That was great, she gets it! Now she knows what it's like to be a minority.
"Generally happy, huh?" Hal asked Snake after he paused the footage, as Snake was too ashamed to even respond. He was in some hot water. "What about non-safety issues, in terms of liability? Sexual harassment. Anything like that?"
"Oh, I don't know," Snake replied with a shrug, and Hal could tell that his friend was lying. He was more convinced that Master Hand told Snake specifically to front for him.
"Then let me see for himself..." So Hal went back to the laptop, found some more footage to play, and clicked on the play button when he found something.
Mario, Peach, Luigi, and Daisy had all signed up for a charity run in downtown Seattle, and the four were getting ready for the event. Daisy, who was already dressed in her running gear just like Peach and Luigi, stopped by Mario's room in the mansion to see what was taking Mario so long.
"Mario, 5K means 5 kilometers, not 5 thousand miles," Daisy called out to Mario, standing outside the plumber's bedroom as she knocked on the door.
"Come-a in," responded Mario, as the bedroom door was already open. So Daisy opened the door and wandered on in...and saw Mario in his underwear. A truly unwelcome sight, as Daisy was disgusted. "What are you doing?"
"You said to come in!" It was bad enough that Daisy saw Mario in his underwear...the poor woman also had to see his hairy chest. Looks like someone forgot to shave.
"No, I didn't, just please-a don't…" Evidently, Daisy had seen enough, as she stormed out of the bedroom in a hurry. Didn't even bother to close the door behind her.
xxx
It was Casual Friday at the mansion, as instituted by the then man of the mansion, Cloud. It was a day where anyone could wear whatever they want, without any scrutiny. Some residents were taking the Casual Friday festivities a little too liberally, and Wario happened to be one of them.
"Hey, Wario - can I talk to you privately for a second?" Cloud spoke with Wario in the gaming room, as he felt the need to address the fatso's casual attire. "It's about your outfit."
"Yeah, what about it?" questioned Wario, who was wearing a white toga - kinda like the one Pit would usually wear. "What's wrong with my outfit?
"You...you might consider pulling it down a touch. It's...t's riding up a little high."
"A bunch of prudes. You know, Pit and Dark Pit get to wear sandals, but I'm not allowed to wear open-toed shoes?" Wario pulled down his toga, as those in the gaming room gasped at an unpleasant sight. "Is that how it goes?"
"Wario, your man boob is out," Tsubasa warned the fatso, who didn't see what the big deal was. Wario would proudly have his man boobs out more if Cloud and Master Hand would let him.
"Fine..." So Wario pulled his toga up, and everyone gasped again as his lower extremities were exposed. And no one would like the sight of that.
"Wario, where is your underwear?" asked Samus, as she and many others had to shield their eyes from Wario's junk. Wario was reveling in all the attention.
"It's Casual Friday. Happy?" Wairo bent over to pick up something off the floor, exposing himself to the residents a third time as his peers gasped or cringed with disgust.
xxx
Gil was in the meeting room with the other residents, going over their medical conditions which were totally made up. If you recall, back in episode 32, Gil was put in charge of finding a medical plan for the mansion, and he asked the residents to provide him with whatever ailments they had. The results were amusing, to say the least.
"Remember, when you hear your submitted medical condition read, please raise your hand to indicate that it is real," Gil gave the 4-1-1 to the mansion residents, as he had a rather long list of medical ailments in his possession. "If you do not raise your hand, it will not be covered.
"What about confidentiality?" asked Ike, wanting to keep his medical condition a secret. It sounded funny to him at first, but now he felt bad about having Gil read it out loud.
"You know what? You have forfeited that privilege. I have tried to treat you all as adults, but obviously, I am the only adult here. Number one, inverted penis."
"Could you mean vagina?" asked Bayonetta, as she slowly raised her hand. What kind of medical condition was that supposed to be? "Because if you do, I want that covered."
"I thought your vagina was removed during your hysterectomy?
"A uterus is different from a vagina. I still have a vagina."
Snake: I don't know how I'm going to get through this. I don't want to lie and I DON'T want to tell the truth. But those videos...
"Hey, Snake! How's it goin'?" Master Hand asked Snake as he magically appeared in the producers' room, right after all that footage on the screen stopped playing. "Whatcha guys talkin' about?"
"Well, Hal and I just going over some stuff," explained Snake, wondering if Master Hand had seen any of the unseen footage. And also wondering why said footage never made the final cut.
"Stuff. I love stuff. Pufnstuf. Right up my alley." Master Hand saw that Hal had a bunch of notes next to him on the desk, as he pointed at them. "What is that? What kind of stuff is that?"
"It's uh, I guess you could say evaluation form," replied Hal as he gathered up his notes, adjusting his glasses so he could see what's the next topic he and Snake must discuss. "Talkin' bout, uh...waste. Waste is next."
"Waste? What does that even mean? Like garbage?"
"No, waste of time and resources."
"Oh, time and resources."
"I don't think we need to talk about resources, it's not like we're some lousy company," Snake tried to dissuade Hal, but Master Hand was more open to the conversation.
"No. Respectfully, Snake, no," Master Hand said to the former spy, taking charge of the conversation only because he had to. "This mansion does not waste time or resources, ever." Wanting to see for himself, Hal went back to the laptop and pulled up even more footage of the mansion.
Sonic and Crash met outside the mansion's pantry, where Pyra and Mythra were going through the food supply. Pyra and Mythra were trying to figure out what to serve for dinner that night.
"Crash..." Sonic whispered to the bandicoot, ready to make things happen as he rubbed his hands together with anticipation. "It's about that time. Old fashioned pantry raid. Yeah. Follow my lead."
Crash and Sonic both entered the pantry, and when Pyra and Mythra least expect it, the two friends started screeching like banshees as they tossed food items onto the floor. Pyra and Mythra just stood there, befuddled.
xxx
Link and Zelda had a bunch of residents gathered in the meeting room - gathered for what Link said was an "Olympic event of somewhat epic proportions". That description wasn't enticing enough to some, but that didn't stop them anyway from going to the meeting room to see what it was all about.
"You have what is the national sport of Icelandic paper companies," Link said to those in the meeting room, standing at the front with Zelda at his side. "And I'm blanking on the name, can you help me out, Zelda?"
"Link, they refer to it as Flonkerton," stated Zelda, though judging by the look on Link's face, that wasn't the correct answer the princess provided. "In English, it's called box of paper snowshoe racing."
"Fair enough, but I like Flonkerton." To Link, the name "Flonkerton" just sounded fancier. And more unique, at that.
Zelda: The thing about Link, is when he's excited about something, he gets really into it and he does a really great job at whatever he's doing But the problem with Link is that he lives here, so that hardly ever happens.
"So, who will be challenging Wario in Flonkerton? Anyone?" Link asked the crowd, as he looked around the meeting room for anyone worthy enough to compete against Wario. Beating Wario shouldn't be too hard, considering that the fatso could barely even move his feet.
"I'll do it," volunteered Wii Fit Trainer as she raised her hand; if she could excel at different sports like volleyball, then Flonkerton would be a walk in the park for her.
"Yes! Wii Fit!" Link clapped, as a few others gave Wii Fit a round of applause. "Wii Fit, just put your foot right through here. Right through the flonk." Link lifted a strap-on box of paper onto Wii Fit's feet, as Wii Fit was now wearing shoe boxes under her barefoot critters.
"Three, two, one...GO!" Zelda did the countdown, and so it was on - Wii Fit and Wario raced down to the end of the meeting room, with the fitness trainer and fatso trying to cross the finish line at the end. Link, Zelda, and the other residents cheered them on.
"Dig deep, dig deep! Oh! It's Wii Fit!" Link watched as Wii Fit beat out Wario by a hair, tearing down the finish line as she secured victory. "Wii Fit by a nose. Gold medal in Flernenton."
"Flonkerton," Zelda corrected Link, as the Flying Man handed Wii Fit a gold medal for her amazing victory. As it has been any other time, Wario was doomed due to his short, stubby legs.
"Thank you, delegate from Iceland." Even though Wario had lost, he was still determined to earn a gold medal for himself, one way or another.
"I'll show you punks..." the fatso said, grabbing a bowl of M&M's and emptying it into his mouth in true Wario fashion. Link caught the fatso in the act and acted like it was the most amazing thing he had ever seen.
"Wow! Okay. No one else should even try! Gold medals! Give him medals. Wow."
xxx
Bowser sometimes loved to play pranks on the other residents, and Dark Pit was one of his favorite victims. He had the perfect prank in store for the doppelganger, who went to his room only to notice that one of his furniture was missing.
"Where is my bed?" asked Dark Pit, as there was some giant space left in his room where his bed should be. Bowser happened to walk by, observing Dark Pit's plight.
"That is weird," the Koopa King offered his two cents on the situation, doing his best to make himself look innocent and blameless.
"This is not funny. This is totally not cool!"
"Okay, well, you're the one who lost the bed."
"I didn't lose my bed."
"Okay, calm down. Where was the last place you saw it?"
"Do you know who moved my bed?"
"I think you should retrace your steps."
"Okay, I am going to tell Master Hand and this entire mansion will be punished!" Dark Pit would take up Bowser's advice, as he went down the hallway searching for his bed while Bowser followed closely behind.
"Colder...warmer...little warmer...there you go, ooh, warmer...warmer...warmer...warmer...warmer...cold, cold, cold, back up… ooh, ooh, warmer, hot, red hot, hot, very hot."
Dark Pit soon reached a bathroom, and when he looked inside...he saw his bed, right near the toilet that King K. Rool was using. Talk about some immaculate placement. The doppelganger groaned, as Bowser pointed and laughed before walking away.
"Stupid Bowser..." grumbled Dark Pit, sitting atop his bed while King K. Rool flushed the toilet before leaving the bathroom without even washing his hands. Hygiene at the mansion must always be terribly low. "...wash your hands, K. Rool."
xxx
Dark Pit wasn't the only person to fall victim to Bowser's bed prank, for Cloud was subject to a similar prank as well...but only during Christmas time. The swordsman entered his room, puzzled as to why Bowser was already present.
"What is this?" Cloud asked Bowser, who was standing next to the swordsman's bed beaming with pride with his arms folded. Speaking of the bed, it was completely wrapped in wrapping paper.
"Happy Holidays, Cloud!" exclaimed Bowser, who just wanted to spread a little holiday cheer around the mansion. Cloud had every right to remain skeptical. "But do not open it till Christmas."
"You're so pathetic. How long did this take you? Three hours?"
"Five minutes actually. I am a black belt in gift wrapping."
"Yeah, I doubt it. I don't think they don't give out black belts for things that are stupid. Well, I hope it was worth it, 'cause I'm gonna take it apart in about five minutes."
"I think it'll take you a little longer than that."
"Really? If I can skin a deer in less than ten minutes, I ought to be able to cut my..."
Cloud tried to sit on his bed, only to crash onto the floor. As it turned out, the bed was made entirely out of paper. Bowser was pointing and laughing at Cloud, who had an angry scowl on his face as he rubbed his bottom.
xxx
Doing some spring cleaning, Red the Pokemon Trainer and Leaf were busy cleaning out their room. Their Pokemon were helping out with the cleaning process, as their involvement was speeding things up. As he cleaned out his dresser, Red saw something that made him irate.
"Dang it! Bowser!" the Pokemon trainer frowned, as whatever was inside one of the drawers in his dresser made him beside himself. Master Hand came inside the room, wondering what the big deal was.
"Okay. Hold on, hold on," Master Hand floated over to Red, who looked like he wanted to punch through a wall just to let his frustration out. "The judge is in session. What is the problem here?"
"It's Bowser; he put my stuff in Jell-O again." Red pulled out his Poke Flute from the dresser, which was covered in Jell-O. Leaf couldn't help but laugh, no matter how insensitive it was. "That's the third time and it wasn't funny the first two times either."
Red the Pokemon Trainer: It's okay here, but people sometimes take advantage because it's so relaxed. You can't screw around too much, or you'll tick somebody off. That's sort of one of the unspoken rules.
"No, don't take it out!" Master Hand commanded Red, who was about to stick his hand through the Jell-O to dig his Poke Flute out. He had his hand on the Poke Flute too, until Master Hand said something. "You have to eat it out of there, because there are starving people in the world...which I hate, and it is a waste of that kind of food."
"Okay you know what, you three can be a witness," Red said to his three Pokemon - Squirtle, Ivysaur, and Charizard - as he pointed at them. Should've named Leaf a witness instead, for obvious reasons. "Can you reprimand Bowser, Master Hand?
"How do you know it was him?"
"It's always you. Are you going to discipline him or not?"
"Alright, here's the deal. The thing about a practical joke is you have to know when to start and as well as when to stop. With that being said, I think this is the time for Bowser to stop putting personal effects into Jell-O."
"Heard you loud and clear, Master Hand," Bowser said to the giant hand as he stuck his head inside the Pokemon trainers' room. Who knows if the Koopa King was eavesdropping, and how long. "Red, I'm sorry, because I have always been your biggest flan."
"Nice!" Master Hand was laughing at Bowser's joke, as Bowser walked away. "That's the way it is around here. It just kind of goes round and round."
"You should've put him in custardy," quipped Leaf, as Red glared at the Pokemon trainer; his personal belongings being in Jell-O has left Red in a very sour mood.
"Hey! Yes! She shoots, she scores! Pudding. Pudding...I'm trying to think of another dessert to do."
"Any old people that I should know about?" Hal asked Master Hand and Snake, who both looked at each other for a brief moment. Time for Hal to go through the laptop again...
During the mansion's open house tour in episode 178, one of the biggest attractions was Peppy Hare. That was only because Master Hand brought a bunch of little kids to the hare's room, without any permission.
"There's Peppy Hare!" exclaimed Master Hand, sounding like a super preppy tour guide as he brought the kids inside Peppy's room. Peppy was busy eating a carrot when he saw that he had company. "Let's take a look at what he's doing, everybody! This is Peppy, and he is in charge of...something. Right?"
"That is correct," Peppy confirmed as he nonchalantly nodded his head, before finishing off the rest of his carrot. Not only was Peppy a renowned space pilot, but he was also known for being in charge of something. Open to anyone's interpretation.
"Say hi to the kids."
"Hi kids. Nice to meet you all."
"Yaaaaay..."
"Have you ever seen a foot with four toes?" Peppy started to take off his shoe, as the kids grimaced and let out cries of disgust.
"What are you doing? Stop it! Stop it! Just, no! No!" Refusing to listen to Master Hand, Peppy continued to take off his shoe against the giant hand's wishes. "Would you cut it out?! What is your problem?"
"The hair covers it, mostly. It shouldn't be too big of a problem for the little ones."
"No, we're not gonna see...we're not gonna see the four-toed...Peppy Hare, okay?"
xxx
A few complaints from the residents were made to the man of the mansion, Cloud, and Cloud brought those who made these complaints to Master Hand's room so they could air out their issues. Those who had a complaint made against them were present, too.
"Okay, Lucario, you told Cloud that Heihachi has a distinct old man smell?" Master Hand asked the aura Pokemon, as Heihachi looked on; you'd expected Heihachi to feel guilty, but the old man was owning up to whatever Lucario said.
Heihachi: I know exactly what he's talking about. I sprout mung beans on a damp paper towel in my desk drawer. Very nutritious. But they smell like death.
"Alright, King Dedede," Master Hand turned his attention to King Dedede, who was twiddling with his fingers as Tifa glared at him. "You are accused of making sexually suggestive remarks to Tifa that made her feel uncomfortable. Solution: Tifa, you are to make sexually suggestive remarks to King Dedede that will make him uncomfortable."
"I accept your decision!" King Dedede said to Master Hand as he saluted him, ready for any sexually suggestive remark that Tifa would throw at him. Tifa was left shaking her head in disbelief at the fat penguin.
Hal had to pause the video footage, for someone was calling him. Snake let out a sigh of relief, as Hal pulled out his phone and answered the call.
"Hey, uh, yeah, I finally got a chance to sit down with Snake," Hal spoke into the phone, as Snake hoped that the hacker wouldn't be spilling too much info to the person on the other end. "I think I'm gonna be here for a while.
"This is a building where friends become lovers and lovers become sexually interactive," Master Hand stated to Hal, who ended his call as he put his phone away. Master Hand then turned his attention to Snake. "Right? Would you agree with that?"
"Master Hand, this is really inappropriate to talk about at this time," Snake said to the giant hand, as he did not want any mention of his previous attempts at trying to woo Meryl Silverburgh. Not with Hal present.
"That's, that is true. Why don't you look on that laptop and see for yourself, Mr. Emmerich?" So Hal pulled up some footage on the laptop, as Snake groaned and pinched the crown of his nose.
At Berkut's dinner party, Fox had brought with him some shrimp. But just some shrimp - a shrimp sandwich. It was his finest creation at the time, and he thought very highly of it.
"Hey, shrimp, check it out," Fox said to Link, as he presented to the Hylian his shrimp sandwich like it was the newest food craze. "Shrimp sandwich. Just like you."
"I don't care, Fox," responded Link, as Fox took a bite out of his shrimp sandwich...but before he could, Krystal came over and kissed Fox passionately on the sofa he was sitting on, while Link observed. "Oh..."
Fox: Was that hot or what?!
xxx
Kanji was walking down the hallway, noodling around on his phone when he looked up and saw Naoto coming his way. Kanji had a lot of love for Naoto, and he sometimes felt insecure talking about his feelings for the police detective.
"Kanji, I've been doing some very interesting reading," Naoto approached the delinquent, as she showed him a book that she was reading in the library. "Tales of bravery."
"Mm, good stuff," remarked Kanji, as he nodded his head, deep in thought. Or maybe he wasn't deep in thought and was only nodding his head just to please Naoto.
"Mhmm. I was thinking tonight, we could...read it together." Sounded like a great way to spend some quality time, reading tales about bravery with your favorite person.
"Sounds...fun." Kanji seemed to agree, as he leaned in close to Naoto...and kissed the police detective. Kanji and Naoto were kissing each other outside a bathroom, one that Joker happened to walk out of. You could only imagine the look on Joker's face.
Joker: *stares into the camera shocked, then scoffs into a laugh* I...will never say a word.
xxx
Thanks to Yoshi and his magical book, Robin had fallen in love with Birdo in episode 67. Yoshi had only made the questionable couple just to keep Birdo as far away from him as possible. Unfortunately for him, the relationship seemed to have come to an end after the book was destroyed...but that didn't stop Birdo from loving Robin back. And Robin had to put an end to it.
"Hey, let's call this what it is," Robin said to Birdo as he found her in the beauty salon, applying some makeup to her face. The mage wanted to set the record straight.
Robin: It's like she only wants to hook up when Yoshi comes around. It's gotten to the point where I get excited every time I see that guy walk through the door.
"Well, I just need to know where this is going," said Birdo, who was partially open to being in a love triangle with Yoshi and Robin. Or maybe even a love square, if Lucina wished to add herself into the mix.
"I like you," Robin said to Birdo, as he couldn't believe the words that were coming out of his mouth. "Oh yeah, what's not to like? But you need to access your uncrazy side, otherwise, maybe this thing's run its course." Having said his piece, Robin walked away from Birdo.
"Don't you dare walk away from me Robin, you are the most selfish person I've ever met in my entire..." Birdo chased after Robin, who came to a stop and turned around as he looked at Birdo.
"Slow down, think it over." Robin imparted these words to Birdo, before peacefully exiting from the beauty salon. Birdo did take the time to think it over, as she just stood there deep in thought.
Birdo: Robin is the most complicated man that I've ever met. I mean, who says exactly what they're thinking? What kind of game is that?
xxx
Because he was helping Popo run his ice cream delivery service, Sonic barely had any time to hang out with his girlfriend, Amy Rose. As one might assume, Amy felt extremely beside herself that Sonic hadn't spent as much time with her as he usually would. So to give the blue hedgehog a piece of her mind, Amy stopped by the mansion to speak with her man, one-on-one.
"I want you to tell me that you care about me," Amy said to Sonic, as she followed the blue hedgehog persistently down the hallway. "That is what I want."
"Amy, I'm super busy now at the moment, okay?" Sonic told Amy, as he stopped and turned around to tell it to his girlfriend straight. "You can't keep talking to me like this, not for the time being."
"Oh, big strong man, fancy new whatever. I don't think you ever cared about me."
"I never cared about you? Six months ago some chick sent me an email, asking me out. Might've been Princess Elise, maybe she found out how to make an email address or something. Anyway, I said no because I was committed to our relationship."
"Well, I hope you're still committed because I'm pregnant." Amy Rose, pregnant? But she hasn't even reached adulthood yet!
Amy: *shakes her head*
"And guess what buddy?" asked Amy as she pointed at Sonic, who was greatly befuddled at the thought of his own girlfriend being pregnant. Poor Sonic had no idea what to think. "I am keeping it!"
"Okay, okay," Sonic nodded his head, clearly flustered by the big announcement that Amy had made. Wait until he found out that it was entirely fake.
"Do you feel prepared to help me raise a baby?"
"I can...I can't talk about this right now, okay? After I'm done with Popo, we'll go out to dinner, we'll talk about it then, okay?"
Amy: We have a date! *squeals*
xxx
Mario and Peach were about to be wedded soon, and there were murmurings in the mansion that Bowser was super salty about Peach choosing Mario over him. One of the residents, Lloyd, was speaking about it with some old mailman outside.
"Man, Bowser still has got it bad for Princess Peach," Lloyd said to the mailman, chilling out on the porch as the mailman had dropped off a package for someone.
"Oh ho!" exclaimed the mailman, who was more than happy to be a part of some form of mansion gossip. However, one question remained in his mind. "Which one is Peach?"
"Well, she's the..." Lloyd would stop speaking, as he saw Master Hand float by the porch. Likely thinking about the wedding, and hoping that everything would go well. "Hey, Master Hand, so do you think Bowser will try to break up the wedding?"
"You know what Lloyd?" Master Hand stopped and asked Lloyd, giving the swordsman a brief iota of his time. "I consider Bowser to be a friend of mine, so the only people that this crush really concerns are Bowser and Peach...and me."
xxx
Cloud had plans to ride around Seattle and the outskirts out of the city on his motorcycle, just to spend some much-needed time away from the mansion. Before he could take off, though, Aerith met him outside in the driveway.
"So, I guess I'll see you in..." Cloud said to Aerith, on his motorcycle, as he took out his phone so that he could check the time. "...six hours."
"What are you going to do while you're away?" asked Aerith, who also wanted to ask Cloud if she could ride on the motorcycle with him. She had no problem riding around on the motorcycle without much protection.
"Not much, just gonna drive around the city. I've been looking forward to it. It's gonna be...really nice. Gonna find myself."
"You have new music?" Aerith pointed at Cloud's phone, as she saw that the swordsman had his music app open. Also saw that he had his earbuds as well.
"Yeah." Cloud saw Aerith put out her hand for an earbud, and Cloud had no other choice but to oblige. "Definitely."
xxx
During the mansion's garage sale in episode 184, Cortex discovered that his crush, Tiki, was running one of the stands. The evil genius wanted to shoot his shot, but he had no idea of how to carry out his plan. That's when he consulted Joker for some advice.
"Here's the thing, you just keep talking to her," Joker advised Cortex, who was laser-focused on Tiki as the Manakete sold someone a purse. "If you hit a stall you have a perfect fallback."
"What's that?" asked Cortex, absorbing every piece of advice Joker offered him like a sponge. He would've asked for help Wolf instead, but that was just asking for trouble.
"You buy a purse. That simple."
"I don't want a purse. Purses are for girls."
"K. Rool, that's not necessarily true. Do you read GQ?"
"No. I'm too good for the posers that magazine caters to."
"Okay, I do. They're like mini briefcases, alright? Lots of guys have them."
"Like those?" Cortex pointed at a man who walked by, carrying a brown handbag.
"Yes. Listen, you are spending way too much time talking to me when you could be talking to her."
"Okay, I'm just going to use the bathroom, and then I'm going..."
"No. You don't need the bathroom. You've got it. Go."
Tiki: Guys are usually my best customers, they buy the high-end stuff like the beads and the sequins and stuff. For gifts, you know? They don't know what they are looking at. So I make suggestions.
Ready to shoot his shot, Cortex went to the purse stand that Tiki was running, looking to buy a purse. He double-checked to make sure he had enough money in his wallet, to prevent a potentially humiliating moment from occurring.
"Stop...stop whatever you're doing because this is going to be good," Cortex said to the Tiki, who really wasn't doing anything at the moment as she gave Cortex her attention. Joker was watching Cortex from afar, as Ryuji and Ann joined him.
"It is I, Dr. Neo Cortex and I would like to buy a purse," Ryuji mimicked Cortex, speaking in a high-pitched falsetto voice as Joker and Ann were smiling. "Good lord, look at these purses! This is something special. Is this Salvatore Di-chini-asta?"
"Oh definitely, definitely step in and out of it like that," replied Ann, mimicking Tiki as Cortex found the purse that he wanted, and was...stepping into it like it was a shoe. Imagine the second-hand embarrassment from Uka, if he was around.
"Yes, well I want to stress test it. You know, in case anything happens." For whatever reason, Cortex started smacking the purse against the table, as Tiki looked on. "This is necessary to do to really give it a good workout. This is the ooooh...this is the prettiest one of all. I'm going to be the prettiest girl at the ball! Oh, how much?"
"This is sad...it's so sad," remarked Ann as she shook her head, feeling nothing but pity for Cortex - who had just purchased the purse he strangely abused.
"Here he comes, shhh..." Joker whispered to Ryuji, as Cortex walked away from the purse stand. Cortex gave Joker a thumbs up, and Joker mouthed the word "good" to the evil genius. "...he did pick a good one."
"You're horrible, man," Ryuji said to Joker, who was just happy that he could impart some romantic advice to another person. A possible matchmaking career just might be in Joker's future.
xxx
Katt Monroe: I heard that Falco's in Japan, and he's stuck at the moment...and, if he never comes back again...that's okay. We're friends. And I'm sure we'll stay friends. We just, never got the timing right. You know? I would shoot him down, and then he would do the same to me, and...but you know what? It's okay. I'm totally fine. Everything is gonna be totally
Falco: Katt! *walks in, faces camera* Sorry. *to Katt* Um, are you free for dinner tonight?
Katt Monroe: Yes.
Falco: Alright. Then...it's a date! *leaves*
Katt Monroe: *faces camera, tearing up, smiling* I'm sorry, what was the question?
xxx
Robin had asked Lucina to meet him outside the mansion, in the backyard of Marth's home, and Lucina had no idea what was in store for her. All she was told was to meet Robin outside and bring no company with her.
"Very peculiar spot to see me at," Lucina said to Robin, whom she found standing alone in Marth's patio. Robin was very clearly holding something in his hand. "Also, you can wipe that weird smile off your face."
"There's a reason why I'm smiling..." stated Robin, as he slowly got down on one knee. Lucina was suddenly full of emotion, elated yet surprised at the same time.
"What are you doing?" It was very obvious what Robin was doing, as he took his hand away to reveal to Lucina a wedding ring.
"Something that I've been meaning to do for the longest time." Better late than never, as Robin was about to say the five words that Lucina has been waiting to hear. "Lucina, will you marry..."
"Yes!" Lucina wouldn't even let Robin finish his sentence, as she already voiced her approval. Robin stood up and embraced Lucina, as a whole bunch of Fire Emblem folks came out onto the patio.
"Congratulations, you two!" Chrom congratulated Lucina and Robin, as Roy popped out some confetti from a confetti gun to make it rain over the married couple-to-be. Another Fire Emblem couple was officially tying the knot.
xxx
The last bit of footage that Hal played was a video of Lucina and Robin's wedding, which took place at an undisclosed location inside a chapel. Lucina had walked down the aisle with Chrom, wearing her wedding dress, as she joined her groom Robin at the altar. Lucina's second-generation friends, and Chrom's first-genreation friends, were all in attendance as Frederick, Chrom's lieutenant, officiated the ceremony.
"By the power invested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife," Frederick said to Lucina and Robin after the two already said their vows. Lucina and Robin both kissed, as cheers sounded in the chapel.
"Couldn't let these two elope in peace, could you?" Raven asked Chrom with a smile, standing next to her husband as everyone was on their feet applauding the newlyweds.
"I just...I just didn't want to start a bad precedent," replied Chrom, who was easily the happiest man on earth. Happy to see his daughter marry his best friend - who was the male version of his wife. Sonic was right about Fire Emblem being confusing at times.
Master Hand: Huh, so that's where that footage of Lucina and Robin's wedding was, on that laptop the whole time...gonna need to have a word with the producers. Right after I speak with Lucina and Robin.
Hal had seen and heard enough, as he was escorted out of the room by Master Hand and Snake. Link and Zelda were in the foyer, wanting to bid Hal farewell.
"Thank you, so much," Link thanked Hal, hoping that Master Hand wasn't too much trouble for him. He obviously didn't have to worry about Snake being a pest.
"Thank you, it's nice to meet you both," Hal said to Link and Zelda, glad that he could meet the power couple of both Hyrule and the Smash Mansion.
"Good to meet you, and have a great day," Zelda said to Hal, who was escorted out of the mansion by Snake while Master Hand stayed behind. Hope to see you soon."
Master Hand: I feel very sorry for Hal because he has to evaluate what we are worth. He has to decide what we are capable of and how do you do that? What is Champion Link capable of...or Samus...or Wario?
Snake closed the front door behind him, for he had some important stuff to talk about with Hal. Stuff that was mostly confidential, and had much to do with a certain journal.
"So the next time, you'll help me locate that journal, right?" Snake asked Hal, who was reviewing the notes he had taken. Hal had plenty of info about the mansion, based on the video footage he saw.
"I thought you had found it already, Snake," Hal said to the former spy, as he placed his notes inside a black folder. "Was the hectic holiday season holding you up? Or were you just being lazy?"
"I guess it was a bit of both...but we will find that journal, mark my words. What do you plan on using those notes for."
"Not much - just wanted to get myself familiarized with the residents, and how things are run around here. If push comes to shove, we'll know who to count on..."
"I don't care if he goes and files a report and says that we're nothing special because I think our future is very bright," Master Hand discussed with Isabelle, as he and the Shih Tzu were strolling down the hallway. "We have nothing to worry about."
"Computron experiencing emotion," said Computron, as his voice was heard through the mansion's PA system. Master Hand let out a groan, as he wanted Computron gone by the time Hal left.
"Computron, I'm gonna pull your plug. Okay? Buddy?"
"Please don't. Computron wants to live."
"Master Hand, can you come to the computer room?" Fuuka approached Master Hand, as she had something that the giant hand deserved to see. "There's something that you have to watch..."
So Master Hand and Isabelle followed Fuuka to the computer room, where Futaba and Coco were gathered around a computer. On the screen was a video of Pit and Lloyd, both dressed up as rappers from the 90s.
"What in the world?" questioned Master Hand, staring at the monitor as Fuuka and Isabelle took a seat. Master Hand was almost at a loss for words, and the video wasn't even played yet. "What am I even looking at?"
"Just a rap video that Pit and Lloyd had made last year," replied Futaba, wondering what thought process was even behind the music video in the first place. "It was for their food delivery service. Just watch."
Futaba clicked the play button as some 90's-style rap music started playing. Pit and Lloyd were both vibing their heads to the beat, as Master Hand and the others tried not to cringe.
Lloyd: We had some plans on extending the delivery service to Spokane, but sadly the idea never materialized after Cloud turned it down. But at least we have an accompanying rap video to show for it! Toad did the camera work, while Knuckles handled the musical aspect.
Lloyd: Sittin' in my office with a plate of grilled bacon,
Called my man, Pit just to see what was shakin'
Pit: Yo, Lloyd, our town is dope and pretty
Lloyd: So check out how we live
Both: In the Electric City!
Lloyd: They call it Spokane!
Pit: What?
Lloyd: The Electric City. Spokane!
Pit: What?
Lloyd: The Electric City.
Lazy Spokane, the Electric City.
They call it that 'cause of the electricity.
The city's laid out from East to West
And the public parks are libraries are truly the best.
Call poison control if you're bitten by a spider.
Pit: But check that it's covered by your
Both: Healthcare Provider!
Lloyd: Plenty of space in the parking lot.
Pit: But the little cars go in the compact spot!
Both: Spot. Spot. Spot. Spot. Spot.
Lloyd: Snack attack time.
Pit: Don't lose your head.
Lloyd: We like Ferraro's
Both: For the tasty bread!
Lloyd: They call it Spokane!
Pit: What?
Lloyd: The Electric City. Spokane!
Pit: What?
Lloyd: The Electric City. Spokane!
Pit: What?
Lloyd: The Electric City. Spokane!
Pit: What?
Lloyd: The Electric City. Spokane!
Pit: *pause* What?
Lloyd: Ugh...