Author's Note:
You know what time it is...time to answer some reviews. First one is from Guy w with Jokes, who sadly doesn't have a joke for me:
"Can I tell you my headcanon? The reason why Giovanni doesn't attack the camera crew, is because they're on the neutral side. They don't interfere with the bad guys, and they don't annoy the good guys. Is that correct or not?"
You are correct! The camera crew is indeed on the neutral side. They're just there to record stuff as it happens. The Reader has suggestions, many of which may be done in 2023 (if the story continues into next year):
"1. Will Mario stop acting like this? Kinda embarrassing seeing him like this, man.
2. I don't think you can make an adaptation of "Not What He Seems", since I don't think there's someone in the mansion that has a secret twin sibling. If anything, the closest you could do was with the Cloud arc and his Revival Project thing. Ah well, a missed opportunity.
3. Fire Emblem Engage is coming out on January 20. Will we see the other Lords (and Alear, of course) of FE appear in Smash Life? We already got Marth, Celica, Roy, Lyn, Ike, Lucina, Corrin, and Byleth. So that leaves Sigurd, Leif, Eirika, and Micaiah. I don't know how Sigurd could appear, but I mean, Berkut and Rinea are in the story, which means FEH is canon (that's how some deceased characters can appear again), and I think that can help with Sigurd.
4. And speaking about Engage, Alear can summon the lords from Fire Emblem, and related to that ability, it reminds me that the TMS cast can do that too with their Mirage counterpart. Itsuki with Chrom, Tsubasa with Caeda, Touma with Cain, Kiria with Tharja, Eleonora with Virion, Mamori with Draug, and Yashiro with Navarre. Will we see the TMS cast meet their Mirage counterpart? Chrom and Caeda are already at the mansion, and Tharja and Navarre already made an appearance. That left Cain, Virion, and Draug that have yet to appear.
5. Kirby's Return to Dreamland Deluxe will be out on February 24, 2023. Will the game play an important part in the story? Since Magolor debuted on the original game? Maybe have him re-redeem himself.
6. Also, will we finally see Bandanna Dee in the story? Please, man. We need to see him.
7. Tales of Symphonia is coming to the Switch next year. Time to see Lloyd, Colette, and their friends, I guess? (I hope TIME TO GO didn't see this)
8. Finally, Atelier Ryza 3 is coming to the Switch on February 24, just like Kirby. A Ryza comeback on the paper, perhaps?"
1. Mario will eventually start acting less foolish. Sometimes it's hard writing about a video game character without that much personality...
2. You're right, the boat already sailed after the Aerith Revival Project act. Nobody has a secret twin.
3. Any Lord that hasn't appeared yet may be in the Engage chapter.
4. The TMS cast will meet their Mirage counterparts. It's been a long time coming.
5. Return to Dreamland Deluxe may play a part in Smash Life. Since Magolor debuted in the original game, he would have a pretty big focus in the chapter related to the game.
6. Bandanna Waddle Dee will appear in the story. Hopefully. I won't let you guys down!
7. Lloyd and his friends will appear in a possible Tales of Symphonia chapter.
8. A Ryza Stout comeback? Oh yes!
Cloudenstein has a question about Rufus Shinra:
"Just saying, wasn't there a scene where Rufus called Cloud once? I don't know, maybe during that Bowser's Golden Ticket shenanigans? Will you come back to it?"
Yes, there was a scene where Rufus called Cloud. I may revisit it in the future, as a nice little throwback. David has questions:
"Will a Fire Emblem Engage chapter happen in the future? Are characters like Ferdinand Von Aegir gonna be written off due to Billy Kametz's passing? Has Yusuke ever attempted to make paintings of Palutena or Phosphora? Have Arlon or Cragalanche had any appearances yet? A reference to the game It Takes Two when the Switch port comes out? And finally, do you think The Bloodline is overdue for losing their titles? (Logan Paul is gonna face Roman Reigns at Crown Jewel)."
An Engage chapter will happen if the story continues into 2023. Ferdinand is too good of a character to be written off. Yusuke has never attempted a painting of either lady. Arlon and Cragalanche have not appeared yet. An It Takes Two reference...why not a full-blown chapter? And I think that the Bloodline will drop their titles at Wrestlemania; that said, Roman won't drop his title to Logan Paul. But given how great of an athlete Paul is and how seriously he's honed his wrestling craft (his Three Amigos is a thing of beauty *chef's kiss*), I'd be surprised if the title match at Crown Jewel doesn't live up to the expectations. Last is BowserFan327:
"Durag Mario vs Dr. Drip. You must do it! it'll be funny!"
It would be funny, but would I do it? Perhaps. Might save that for a special occasion.
Episode 353: Visitors
Keeping the mini Zapfish stored in his house was a harder task than Mario imagined. The plumber thought that it would be easy - just keep the mini Zapfish in Spyro and Hunter's room, and check on them every now and then. It wouldn't be like they would be much trouble, save for sneaking out through the door.
But that incident that happened last week, with the mini Zapfish escaping from the room? It happened multiple times over the week. Sometimes the mini Zapfish got far from Mario, and Mario had to chase them down. Mario begged the mansion and tower repeatedly to carry some of his burden and house just a couple of mini Zapfish, but his pleas were turned down.
Once push came to shove, Mario did the most practical thing that he could think of - build a shed in his backyard to store all the mini Zapfish. The plumber mentally slapped himself for not thinking of the idea sooner. But in due time, the shed was built, and Mario and Peach's lives were so much better off. Even more, Spyro and Hunter got their room back!
"How'd you boys like sleeping in the living room?" Peach asked Spyro and Hunter, who slept on the living room sofa and couch, respectively. Oftentimes, Spyro had to sleep with Hunter on the couch whenever his friend had a "nightmare".
"It was pretty rad," replied Hunter, appreciating Mario for welcoming him and Spyro back into their house after the events of the previous episode. "The best part for me was having access to the television."
"We have a TV in our room, you know," Spyro pointed out to Hunter, who was amazed by this fact as he looked up to the heavens in realization. "You would know if you actually used it..."
"Sadly your TV had to be replaced; the mini Zapfish caused it to short-circuit," stated Peach; the malfunctioning of the television in Spyro and Hunter's room was one of the few casualties the mini Zapfish brought about. "But at least the Zapfish are in a better place now!"
"Mario killed the mini Zapfish?!" Hunter gasped in shock, distraught that Mario would commit such a senseless genocide. The thought alone made the cheetah very uneasy. "They irritated him that much?"
"No, she meant Mario put them in the shed..." Spyro had to explain to Hunter, who felt relieved as he no longer had to contemplate moving out of Mario's home for his own safety. "...bet you didn't know we had a shed either, did you?"
Mario was currently outside, as he was about to show the shed in his backyard to the Inklings. The plumber had finished the shed this morning and was showing off his craftsmanship to the others.
"Ta-da!" exclaimed Mario when he and the Inklings arrived at the shed, doing some jazz hands to add a bit of pizzazz. "Built-a it all by myself. Your thoughts?"
"It looks bland," commented the female Inkling, not a huge fan of the shed's pale white exterior. It almost bugged her to an extent - triggered her, even. "As a painter, I find the lack of color to be offensive."
"Honestly I feel stupid for not seeing this shed earlier," admitted the male Inkling, almost certain that he saw the shed in Mario's backyard yesterday. Or the day before that. "How long did it take you to build it?"
"Two-a or three days, give or take," replied Mario as he opened the shed, which had a bunch of mini Zapfish bundled together. Mario pulled out the one he wanted, before slamming the door shut. "Say hello to Spencer!"
"You gave the mini Zapfish names...?" the female Inkling crinkled her nose at Mario, who offered the mini Zapfish's hand to the youngster. "Uh, no thanks." The female Inkling refused the gesture, putting up her hands.
Mario: It's funny - at first, I didn't really care-a for the mini Zapfish. When they started escaping and running away, I had grown sick-a and tired of them. But then I had grown to love-a them...like a child. Like children. I love them as much as my own-a children! Maybe it's true what they say - you don't know how much-a you love someone after you start hating them first. *pauses* Does anyone actually say that?
"Come on, shake-a his little fish hand," Mario beckoned to the male Inkling as he wiggled the mini Zapfish's fish hand. Feeling awkward, the male Inkling smiled as he shook the mini Zapfish's hand, with Mario moving the fish's hand up and down.
"Tell me when to stop..." the male Inkling whispered to his female counterpart through clenched teeth, only for the female Inkling to take out her phone and record the handshake. "You're not helping..."
"Take as much-a time as you need to." As the handshake endured, a van pulled up into the mansion's driveway. But it wasn't just any regular van - it was blue with yellow accents, with a satellite on top.
"Nice van," said the female Inkling, as the handshake finally came to a stop...for Mario was focused on the van in the driveway. The plumber was staring at the van, recognizing it from somewhere.
"Something wrong, Mario?" the male Inkling asked the plumber, not complaining at all that his awkward handshake with the mini Zapfish came to a stop. The male Inkling looked at the van, failing to see how it captured Mario's attention so.
"They're here..." uttered Mario, hastily throwing Spencer the mini Zapfish back into the shed and slamming the door before returning to his original position. "...Link and Zelda didn't say they'd be here this soon."
"Who's here? What's going on?" questioned the female Inkling, wanting answers even though Mario was too distracted to give any. The answers soon came, however, as three dudes exited from the van...all three special visitors from the east coast.
One of them was Kratos - demigod, Spartan warrior, and the Ghost of Sparta. The second one was Spike, a spiky-haired kid and monkey-catching expert. And the third was the raccoon who drove his van from the All-Star Manor...leader of the Cooper Gang, Sly Cooper.
"So how was the ride, boys?" Sly asked Kratos and Spike as he put the van keys away, not forgetting to lock the doors. Mario was still looking silly."Got a free trip in the Cooper Van, from yours truly!"
"I'm amazed that we didn't die on our way to..." Kratos was about to comment, only to stop speaking when he locked eyes with Mario. Kratos and Mario were staring at each other, as the tension in the air began to build.
"Remember what we came here to do!" Spike said to Kratos, who was still staring at Mario as Sly and Spike had to drag Kratos away. Kratos' cold-hard stare remained intact nonetheless. "You can bother Mario later."
"I want to bother him NOW! I'm not finished with you, plumber!" Kratos was angrily shouting at Mario, vowing to get his hands on the plumber and strangle him to death. Or murder him with his axe. Whichever method proved more effective.
"Shut up, you're supposed to represent the manor..." Sly whispered quietly into Kratos' ear, before looking back at Mario and the Inklings, saying to them. "...sorry you guys had to see that."
Although it nearly took them a gargantuan effort, Sly and Spike managed to drag Kratos up the steps to the porch and to the front door. The three All-Stars entered the mansion, and Kratos was heard shouting from inside.
"Those guys must be miserable with him around," the female Inkling had this to say about Sly, Spike...and pretty much anyone who lived with Kratos at the manor. Mario finally broke from his trance.
"Well, I hope-a Kratos doesn't actually kill anybody," remarked Mario, remembering the time Kratos almost severed his arm when he and the others visited the manor a few episodes ago. His scar was fully healed by now. "Especially Hal."
Kratos, Sly, and Spike wouldn't be the only guests over at the mansion; Hal returned to the mansion today, fulfilling a promise he made to Snake. Since he didn't grab a bite to eat on his way to Seattle, Hal had to ask for some lunch. Fortunately for him, Min Min came through.
"The bowl is hot," Min Min said to Hal in the dining room, handing the hacker his bowl of noodles. Hal accepted his noodles, only to tense up as he felt his hands getting hot from the bowl.
"Aah!" Hal screamed in pain as he dropped his bowl of noodles to the floor - not only wasting his noodles but breaking his bowl. The hacker gasped, fearing that Min Min might snap at him, but Min Min gave little to no reaction.
"Eh, not the first time that's happened," Min Min shrugged off the incident, before heading into the kitchen to grab the necessary cleaning materials. "I'll fix you another bowl once I clean up this mess."
Min Min: *opens cabinet door to reveal an almost empty kitchen cabinet* We're nearly running out of bowls. *takes a deep sigh* Why can't paper bowls and hot noodles ever mix? The universe must deem it too good for us.
"Screw your lunch...I'm your focus now," a certain former spy said to Hal, as Snake sat at the dining room table tapping his finger impatiently. Forgetting about his noodles, Hal took a seat next to Snake.
"To be honest, I had meant to eat a chocolate bar before making the trip," Hal confessed to Snake, who gave the hacker a judging look. A chocolate bar simply wasn't filling enough, and even Hal knew it. "But it melted in my pants pocket."
"That doesn't even sound possible." But Hal prove that it was possible, as he stuck his hand into his pocket and pulled it out seconds later. Melted chocolate all over his fingertips. "I stand corrected..."
"Wish I had spoken with you sooner. Preferably Wednesday." Hal grabbed a nearby napkin and used it to clean off his fingers; he was too professional to simply lick the chocolate off. "But the producers contacted me and..."
"So the producers told you to come on Friday, because of their precious documentary? Is that what it was? Are we only able to handle important crap if the cameras are rolling?!"
"Take it easy, Snake, I only agreed if it meant they would leave me alone!" Nervous about Snake's angry fit, Hal looked towards Min Min who was cleaning up the mess and minding her own business.
"If Dimentio were to strike the mansion on Tuesday or something, should we only stop him if the documentary crew's here? We just sit around and let Dimentio get away with whatever because there are no stupid cameras to..."
"Who's to say that Dimentio would even want to strike on a Tuesday?" Min Min asked Snake this hypothetical question, causing the former spy to cool off a bit. "Stop being such a drama queen." The martial artist continued cleaning the floor, as Snake repressed his anger.
"Let's just get to the topic at hand..." Hal said to Snake before his friend unleashed his anger a second time. Hal knew how prone Snake was to get mad. "...about your trip to the Dream Factory. You got pictures?"
"Funny you should ask," replied Snake as he dug into his pocket and pulled a phone...which had a phone case that was black and pink. Black and pink? "That's Callie's phone, by the way. From the Squid Sisters."
"Oh! That makes sense." Hal saw his initial fear dissipate, as he accepted Callie's phone from Snake. The hacker felt honored, holding a phone of one-half of the Squid Sisters. "Nice of you to ask for her phone."
"Never asked Callie for her phone; stole it from her while she was taking her 'beauty nap.' Everything you need to see is in the image gallery." But rather than going to Callie's image gallery, Hal instead glossed through the Inkling's contacts.
"What in the world..." Hal crinkled his nose as he saw a few names on Callie's contact list that caught his eye. Snake assumed that Hal saw a picture of Sheldon looking like an actual horseshoe crab. "...the Inkling boy goes by 'male Inkling'?"
"Are you looking at the images or not?" Snake angrily asked Hal, who let out a small scream of fright as he dropped Callie's phone unto the floor. Hal picked up the phone - unaware of the small crack on the screen.
"Sorry Snake, usually my curiosity gets the best of me." Hal closed out Callie's contact list and opened up the image gallery, which is what he should've done in the beginning. "The outside of the Dream Factory looks..."
"Alright, which one of you jerks stole my phone?!" Callie was heard shouting from afar, and boy did the Inkling sound upset. Min Min stopped sweeping up the broken bowl pieces as she and Hal looked on in fear. But not Snake.
"I'll try and reason with Callie," Snake said to Hal as he got up from his seat, knowing well that he was playing with fire. "You keep scrolling through those pictures. And no lollygagging while I'm gone either!" Snake hurried out of the dining room, while Callie was yelling her head off.
"No lollygagging - got it!" Hal called out to Snake, and once Snake was out of sight, out of mind, Hal's curiosity got the better of him again. The hacker pulled up Callie's contact list and scrolled through it. "Who's Springhead?"
"That's Spring Man," Min Min informed Hal, dumping the broken bowl pieces into the trash can with the dustpan. "Came up with that moniker myself."
Now that he had a new laptop, Fox could check his email with ease. On his previous device, checking the email was a hassle; the connection speed was slow, causing things to just chug along. But with the new laptop, Fox had nothing to worry about.
"Fox, Marcus needs his diaper changed," Krystal said to her husband in the living room while holding Marcus, while Fox was on his laptop checking his email for unread messages. "Don't feel like washing my hands again."
"One second, babe, let me finish checking my email," Fox said to Krystal, going from top to bottom; that was his preferred method. Soon Fox came across an email that made his eyes jump.
"What's got you so buggy-eyed? Some 'lonely' woman sent you another private message?" Thanks to some "Internet rabbit holes" he went down into, Fox had plenty of spam in his inbox. And interesting emails.
"Weird...Giovanni sent us an email blast." Recognizing the email address, Fox clicked on the email Giovanni sent - which was to a lot of people - and clicked on it, before reading it out loud. "'Dear Smash Mansion and friends...please stay out of our business. Or suffer the consequences. Thank you. Sincerely, Giovanni...and with much love, Dimentio.'"
"Since when did you have Giovanni's email?" Krystal questioned Fox, believing that Fox was secretly tight with the leader of Team Rocket. It would devastate her if she discovered that Fox was part of a crime syndicate.
"Ha! Can you believe this guy? 'Stay out of our business or suffer consequences'...ooh, I'm so scared!" If Giovanni intended his email blast to be a threat, then from the looks of it his plan was a failure.
Fox: Back when Giovanni temporarily took control of the mansion, Master Hand gave him our email addresses. Giovanni sent out a few emails that day. One of them, predictably, was him begging for money - money to be donated to Silver's college fund. Which left me at a crossroads; I wanted to support Silver's college dreams, yet at the same time I was in no mood for promoting the idea that Giovanni is a good father. Also, the email just seemed like a huge scam.
"You know what, I should prevent Giovanni from sending me emails," said Fox, alarming Krystal with his lack of email-savvy skills. The pilot didn't know why his wife was looking at him funny.
"Don't you mean you want to 'block' Giovanni?" Fox asked Krystal, who wanted to say yes but not at the risk of giving his wife the higher ground. "Do you not know how to do that? Yet you've piloted a spacecraft for years..."
"I never did it until now, okay?!" Getting all defensive, Fox closed his laptop ready to leave the house before Krystal drove him crazy. "I'll just...I'll ask Samus how to do it."
"But what about changing Marcus?" Evidently changing Marcus' diaper was not on Fox's mind, as Fox left his house. Krystal let out an exasperated sigh as she looked at Marcus, and smiled. "Why must your father be so difficult?"
News about Kratos, Sly Cooper, and Spike being at the mansion proliferated around the mansion, as their presence was obviously big news. Link and Zelda were told in advance that three All-Stars from the manor were visiting today, and Isabelle was taking the Hylians to them.
"They should be in the foyer as I speak," Isabelle said to Link and Zelda as she escorted the couple to the foyer, moving through the hallway as if her life depended on it. "Mr. You-Know-Who is being placated."
"Placated by who?" Link asked Isabelle, as he and Zelda followed the Shih Tzu down the stairs. Soon they arrived at the base of the stairs, where they saw Riku and Kairi gathered around.
"Ssh!" Kairi shushed Link and company after detecting their presence, before watching what was going down in the foyer. Kratos, Sly, and Spike were in the foyer, as Isabelle said...and Sora of all people was trying to soothe Kratos.
"Unlike you, Kratos, I fight for my friends," Sora said to Kratos as if his pep talk was supposed to make the demigod smile or appreciate Sora's values in life. "You would know if you stopped being so angry. There's more to life than constant anger."
"Your spiky hair insults me. You must die!" Kratos shouted at Sora as he whipped out his Leviathan Axe, while Sora took out his Keyblade. Sora blocked the Leviathan Axe with his Keyblade, not giving Kratos an inch.
"That was the lamest Talk no Jutsu attempt I've ever seen," Sly said to Spike, unsure of what Sora was even trying to do. Or why he was trying to begin with.
"Least I'm not the only person to get a death warrant for having spiky hair," Spike smirked as he watched Kratos forcing his strength upon Sora. It pleased him to see a fellow spiky hair dude on the receiving end of Kratos' wrath.
"It was nice knowing you Sora!" Riku called out to the Keyblade wielder, preferring to see Sora be killed by Kratos from afar as opposed to up close. Kairi was disappointed by Riku, as she nudged the silverette.
"That's your best friend you're talking to..." Kairi whispered to Riku, who simply shrugged as he didn't know what else he could do. Aside from jumping in and potentially getting himself killed. But soon cooler heads would prevail, as Link and Zelda appeared in the foyer.
"Kratos...stop," Zelda commanded Kratos, commanding the attention of the demigod. Kratos exerted his might on Sora for a few more seconds, before finally giving up on the effort.
"You got off lucky..." Kratos said to Sora, who nodded in agreement and put his Keyblade away as he retreated to Riku and Kairi. Kratos put his own weapon away, hoping to use it another time during his visit.
"I'm surprised that worked!" Zelda said to Link, amazed that her command was effective on Kratos. The princess thought highly of herself, as Master Hand appeared in the foyer.
"Knew that I heard somebody looking to commit a murder," Master Hand remarked when he saw Kratos, along with Sly and Spike. Kratos had to be on his best behavior now. "Hello, Kratos and friends!"
Zelda: The manor folks wanted to meet with us, and Master Hand and Polygon Man were undecided on where the meeting should take place - at the mansion, or the manor. Master Hand suggested playing rock-paper-scissors to ultimately decide the meeting's location - which Polygon Man apparently agreed to. You can guess who won the best-two-out-of-three series.
"You owe my friend Murray gas money, Master Hand," Sly pointed at the giant hand, having lost count of how many stops at the gas station he made en route to Seattle. "Gas prices aren't cheap, you know!"
"Since when were gas prices ever cheap?" Master Hand asked rhetorically, daring Sly to answer; Sly kept silent, saving himself from any trouble. "Shall we conduct this meeting in the foyer?"
"We can, we really don't have much to discuss." That left Link, Zelda, and Master Hand relatively surprised, as Sly smiled nervously and twiddled with his fingers. "So, uh, about that machine that the Professor was working on..."
"...it kind of self-destructed," Spike would finish for Sly, knowing that the raccoon didn't have it in him to reveal the truth. He wasn't ready to handle the brunt of the disappointment. "Too much power to handle - even with the electricity."
"Personally, I would have destroyed that machine," confessed Kratos, who woke up each and every day choosing violence. He even went to bed with violence on his mind. "Let Raiden rot in Twilight forever! Haha!"
"You drove from New York to Seattle, just to tell us that?" Link asked Sly and company, seeing that the three manor residents had nothing else to share. The Hylian turned to Master Hand, and said, "See, this is exactly why we should've done a video conference."
"We could've, but it's not as professional as an in-person meeting," stated Master Hand, as Link dared not to argue against Master Hand's logic. The Hylian had to accept that the Professor's goal of building a machine to rescue Raiden was a failure, and leave it at that.
"Guess we won't be needing those Zapfish anymore..." Link advanced to the front door, looking to ask Mario to free the mini Zapfish from his shed. "...I'll be right back, guys." Once Link left through the front door, an imaginary light bulb dinged over Spike's head.
"Say, Master Hand, you have inventive minds living in your mansion," the monkey catcher said to the giant hand, as the perfect Plan B came to his mind. "What if they built a machine themselves?"
"Yeah, don't you have like, a half dozen robots living with you?" Sly asked Master Hand, as Mega Man, Proto Man, X, Zero, Bass, and .EXE all came to mind. Geo Stelar desperately wished to be part of that group. "Or perhaps you can give Dr. Light a call."
"Or Dr. Wily - he lives next door," stated Master Hand, knowing how handy Wily's machine is - as proven in a few past instances. "His universal transport machine might be a portal to the Twilight Realm."
"The Twilight Realm is not an alternate universe..." Kratos muttered under his breath, as he could do without seeing Raiden's face ever again at the manor. The same went for Raiden's roommate, Cole MacGrath. "...not scientifically proven."
"It's worth a shot," said Zelda, before recalling something that Ashely had shared with her earlier today. "But Wily isn't home, so...we'll just have to wait."
After checking the mansion's mailbox - where he was greeted by his mailman - Link stopped by Mario's house to speak with Mario about the mini Zapfish. When he arrived at Mario's backyard, he saw Marie standing by while Mario was near the shed.
"What is he doing?" Link asked Marie, as he saw Mario boarding up the door to the shed. Mario was hammering away, refusing to stop until the entire door was boarded up.
"I literally asked if I could see the mini Zapfish, and then Mario got all overprotective," Marie explained to Link; Mario wiped away the sweat from his forehead as he hammered on the last piece of wood on the shed door.
"Nobody gets to see my mini Zapfish but=a me..." Mario frowned as he turned and looked at Marie - only to soften in a hurry when he saw Link next to the Inkling. "...oh! Hi, Link!" The plumber looked innocent, but it wasn't working.
"Your mini Zapfish? Possessive much?" Link made an advance towards the shed, only for Mario to guard the entrance with his arms out wide. "Chill out, Mario - the mini Zapfish aren't yours."
"But they're like-a children to me." Mario got emotional talking about the mini Zapfish, while Link rolled his eyes at the plumber's doting behavior. "Cute and ugly perhaps, but I still love-a them like adoptive sons and daughters."
"That's impossible," said Marie, causing Mario to gasp; what did Marie even say that was so gasp-worthy? "You can't be cute and ugly at once. Gotta be one or the other."
"Let me handle this," Link called out to Marie, before returning his attention to Mario. Mario was standing his ground as much as he could. "You got two hours to give up the mini Zapfish, Mario..."
"You can't put a time-a frame on someone to make-a them surrender their children," retorted Mario, his comments getting on Link's last nerve. His eye twitching, Link yelled at Mario before chasing him around the backyard.
"Give a man some fish to look after and he acts like this..." sighed Marie, slightly amused by Link chasing Mario around. The Inkling was later joined by Spyro, who heard Mario screaming from inside the plumber's house.
"Heh, I totally didn't see this coming," Spyro said sarcastically to Marie, as Link caught up to Mario and ambushed the plumber, sending him to the ground. Had his hands on Mario's neck - not a way for the man of the mansion to conduct himself.
Conker's behavior at the tailgate party a few weeks ago was a point of concern for the partygoers. The squirrel was puking in the bathroom, had sweat all over his face, and showed a lot of anxiety. Layton and Luke noticed that the beer in the wine cellar was all gone, which led them to believe that the way Conker was acting indicated one thing...alcohol withdrawal.
Alcohol withdrawal was obviously no laughing matter, as the symptoms can get serious if the problem isn't nipped in the bud. That was why Layton and Luke depended on Sonic to help Conker recover, in some way. The detectives waited outside Conker's house for Sonic, who pulled up in his blue corvette.
"They have arrived!" announced Layton as Sonic pulled up into the driveway, before turning his car off. Sonic and Lavenza both exited from the corvette...along with a third person, Pit. "Only needed two of you, though."
"Don't mind him - he's a consequence of small talk at the cafe," Sonic said to Layton and Luke as he pointed his thumb at Pit. Pit was armed with plenty of coffee essentials, such as coffee mix and coffee creamer.
"Coffee withdrawal is way better than alcohol withdrawal," Pit said matter-of-factly, his hands full as he struggled to keep all the bags of coffee mix from falling onto the concrete. "Which means Conker won't falter if..."
"Both withdrawals are bad - I would know," Layton stated with a light smile, as he folded his arms. Everyone was looking at Layton all crazy, Luke included, which made Layton's smile fade.
"You drank alcohol before, professor?" Luke asked Layton, wondering if the detective was living the high life before he and Luke first met. Who knows, Layton might even have a secret tattoo.
"Let's go see how Conker's doing..." Coming up with the perfect segway, Layton went to the front door as Luke and the others followed. Layton rang the doorbell, as Orson answered the door.
"Hello, Layton, and uh...oh wow," Orson greeted the detective, only to look past Layton and spot the others behind him. Lavenza waved to Orson, before nudging Sonic to do the same. "We got more company."
"More company?" Pit furrowed his brow, met with disappointment and, oddly enough, a sense of betrayal. "Dang it! Joker must've beat me to this house with the coffee before I did..."
"Pretty sure he was still working behind the counter when we left..." Sonic said to Pit, rueing the fact that Pit was with him and Lavenza as he pinched the crown of his nose. "...this is what I get for bringing up Conker at the cafe."
"Oh, you wanted to see Conker?" Orson asked the group - why else would they stop by the house? Not like anyone wants to see you, Orson. No offense. "Come in, come in!"
So Orson welcomed Layton and company inside Conker's house, leading them to the living room. On the living room floor was Conker, his teeth chattering and his body shaking. Standing around the squirrel was Jakob...and two individuals, a man with a book in his hand and a woman garbed in a white robe.
"Justonesipjustonesipjustonesipjustonesip..." Conker was saying as he was laying on the ground, with a crazed look in his eyes. It unnerved Sonic to see Conker in the state that he was in.
"Be gentle, red squirrel," the woman said to Conker as she knelt down, putting a comforting hand on the squirrel. Her comfort wasn't enough to ease Conker. "You will find peace soon..."
"Just scrutinized Conker - I've detected a lot of personal travesties," the man stated, able to diagnose Conker by simply peering deep into the squirrel's soul. "I can tell he's been down a dark path."
"Yo, Jakob, who are your new friends?" Sonic asked the butler, who looked up when his name was called. The woman gently sat Conker up on the floor, as Conker's body tremors slowed.
"Ophilia Clement and Cyrus Albright..." Jakob introduced the woman and man, respectively. Ophilia and Cyrus noticed the visitors, and greeted them warmly without saying a word. "...and they're not my friends. They just...showed up."
"So they are your new friends - you're just trying to deny it!" If Jakob did have new friends, Sonic would deem it character development for the butler.
"I was their chauffeur," said Falco, who appeared from the kitchen with several vegan pamphlets. Showed them off to Sonic and company. "Also brought these pamphlets for Conker, just in case."
"No wonder we saw an Arwing parked in the backyard," Luke said to Layton, as Falco placed a pamphlet on a table for Conker to read later. Once he was himself again.
Jakob: Conker was drinking alcohol in excess, and so I culled off his intake by removing the alcohol from his cellar. Thought that I was doing him a huge favor...but alas, I've made things even worse.
Cloud: Don't know how she does it, but Aerith keeps finding these people. Every time, she sics them on me...so I sicced them on Falco, and told him to take them away. (I'm actually keeping those two far away from Kratos.) *holds up book* Now I have to give that Cyrus guy this book he left behind in the library.
"Hey Cyrus, you forgot your book," said Cloud as he stopped by Conker's house, stepping in through the front door. He crinkled his nose when he saw Conker, who was obviously not a hundred percent. "What's the matter with Conker?"
"My dictionary! You found it!" exclaimed Cyrus as he ran up to Cloud, snatching the book out of the swordsman's hands and checking the cover to verify that it belonged to him. "Thought I had lost it forever."
"Would've been a tragedy...but seriously, what's up with Conker?" Cloud watched as Sonic and Lavenza stood Conker up on his feet and got him to sit on the living room couch. Conker had a dazed look in his eyes.
"He is not well," Ophilia said to Cloud, merely stating the obvious as she took a seat next to Conker and gently rubbed the squirrel's back. "Evil spirits have taken over him!"
"He's dealing with alcohol withdrawal," Jakob provided a more accurate explanation for Cloud, regret dripping with every word that came out of his mouth. "I'm mainly at fault for causing it."
"That's really nothing to sneeze at," said Cloud, taking note of how agitated and restless Conker was; he was even showing a little sympathy, which happened more often than most people think.
"Maybe you can fix Conker," Pit said to Cloud, who placed the coffee items on the living room table. Had to give his hands and his arms a break. "You must know about withdrawal after Tifa stopped giving you beer at her bar."
"How do you know I that went through alcohol withdrawal?" Cloud gave Pit a frown, as Pit ate his own words and backed off. Even if Cloud suffered from alcohol withdrawal, it would be an instance that he would choose not to revisit.
"Relax, Cloud, we got this covered," Sonic said to the swordsman, knowing that he wouldn't be much help. Cloud clearly wanted to return home as soon as possible. "You can go ahead and leave."
"Exactly what I planned on doing." Cloud left Conker's house, not bothering to give a wave as he closed the front door behind him. Seconds later, he opened the front door to say something. "Falco, you're Cyrus and Ophilia's ride."
"Tell me something I don't know," Falco said to Cloud, deeming the swordsman as Captain Obvious; Cloud left for good, as Sonic and company were left alone with Conker. Conker was slowly coming to his senses as he looked up at Ophilia.
"Mother, can you tuck me in for bed?" Conker asked Ophilia as he rubbed the cleric's face, causing Ophilia to smile - and feel awkward at the same time. "Want a bedtime story, too." Alright, so maybe Conker still wasn't all there.
Mario remained overprotective of his shed, sitting on the ground in front of the boarded shed entrance with his arms folded. Link and Marie approached Mario, who looked up at the two with a frown on his face.
"If you want in, then you can just forget about it," Mario said to Link and Marie, not moving a single inch for the Hylian or the Inkling. "Nobody's getting in!"
"Including you, right?" Marie asked Mario, causing the plumber to raise an eyebrow out of perplexity. "You practically boarded the door to the nines." Mario saw how boarded up the entrance was, and gasped as he stood up.
"Mama mia, you're right! Sheldon, I'm coming for you! You and-a your many brothers and sisters!" So Mario used all the strength he had in his body to pull off the wood...but to no avail. Link and Marie took a step back as they watched Mario struggle mightily.
"He really named the Zapfish..." Link frowned, as Mario had sweat running down his forehead; Mario really boarded up that shed door real good.
"Now would be a good time to get his wife," Marie suggested to Link, thinking that Peach could knock some sense into Mario. But Link wasn't keen on bringing out the princess of the Mushroom Kingdom - not yet, at least.
"Stay right here...I got an idea," Link walked away from Marie, leaving her to watch Mario's face turn red as the plumber struggled to pull off even one piece of wood. Mario truly overestimated his strength.
"A little help-a would be appreciated!" Mario called out to Marie, before coming to a stop as he took a breather. The plumber got down on one knee as he caught his breath.
Hal was supposed to look at the photos of the Dream Factory that Callie took on her phone, but the hacker was too engrossed in the other stuff Callie had on her device. While Snake was off dealing with Callie, Hal was peeping at some videos Callie recorded of herself while in her room.
"Violating a woman's personal stuff has never felt so exhilarating!" smiled Hal, who was watching a video of Callie sitting on her bed talking into the camera. Travis peeked over Hal's shoulder and liked what he saw on Callie's phone.
"Send me that video, and I'll make you a made man," Travis said to Hal, clicking his fingers at the hacker as he departed from the dining room. Hal paused the video, finally thinking about what he was doing.
"...back to those images, I guess." Hal decided to no longer be distracted, as he exited the video and went back to the image gallery. "But one more video wouldn't hurt." Unable to resist temptation, Hal switched from the image gallery and played another video of Callie. This one with her in the bathroom.
"This right here is my favorite bottle of perfume," Callie said in the video, holding up the mascara in question. Bowser entered the dining room, eating a sub sandwich he found lying in the fridge. "Spray this on, and you'll be a dude magnet in no time!"
"Don't know what to do with this information, but I'm still entertained!" Hal kept on watching the video, as Callie was going through the many beauty products she had. Bowser stroked his chin as he heard Callie speaking in the video.
"May I borrow that phone?" Bowser approached Hal, not fully winning the hacker's trust until he took out a phone charger from his imaginary pocket. "I need to test something."
"Take your time." Hal handed Bowser the phone, expecting the Koopa King to return the device once he was done. Fat chance. The hacker then ate from the bowl of noodles Min Min fixed for him, which he had neglected.
"Hehe...this is all I need." Bowser unpaused the video and started over from the beginning, harkening to Callie's every word. Hal stopped slurping his noodles as he heard the video being played.
"How's your 'test' coming along?" Hal stood up and looked at Bowser, who looked over his shoulder and saw the hacker frowning at him. Bowser slowly walked away, as Hal was hot on his heels. "You're not about to run away, are you?"
"Maybe I am, or maybe...peace, sucker!" Bowser turned on the jets as he dashed out of the dining room; Hal tried to chase after Bowser, only to slip and fall on the floor. Hal grunted as he slammed his fists.
Bowser: As a proud father who has only one daughter, it's my duty to spoil the heck out of Wendy. Other than Junior, Wendy has the highest priority out of her siblings. She wouldn't stop telling me about how much she wants new beauty products, so... *holds up Callie's phone* ...daddy's gotta do what daddy's gotta do.
"Something happened?" Min Min asked Hal as she poked her head inside the dining room, hearing the hacker grunting and slamming his fists. "Noodles got cold? That's what you get for..."
"Even worse than cold noodles," replied Hal as he stood up and returned to his seat, running his fingers through his hair. "Bowser stole Callie's phone!" Min Min failed to understand how that was any worse than eating cold noodles.
Until they had a word of confirmation that Wily returned home from whatever he was doing, Zelda and Master Hand invited the trio of Kratos, Sly, and Spike to the arcade room. There, they discussed the New Squidbeak Splatoon infiltrating Dimentio's base in the previous episode, with the ambiance of the arcade in the background.
"This Gnasty Gnorc character...describe him to me," Kratos made his request to Zelda, who told Kratos and company about the newest member of Dimentio's troupe. Kratos deduced that Gnasty was a goblin based on the surname alone.
"He's big, green, and ugly," Zelda provided a description for Kratos, providing whatever adjectives that Marie and Callie used to describe Gnasty. "The Squid Sisters really stressed the third part, hard."
"But is he strong? I'd love to take him on!" Kratos wielded his Leviathan Axe, unleashing his strength as he destroyed the nearest arcade machine with his weapon. Zelda gasped at the destruction, as the Arcade Bunny stood nearby...appearing somewhat nonchalant.
"That game was gonna be replaced anyway," the Arcade Bunny shrugged before walking away, making a mental note in his head to have the wrecked arcade machine removed at the earliest convenience. "Making the E.T. game an arcade game would work, they said..."
"It was only you who said that," Dante said to the Arcade Bunny, as he was playing 1943: Battle of the Midway. A classic Capcom arcade game. The Arcade Bunny hissed at Dante, who waved off the rabbit as he played his game.
"No way, it's Dante - the real one!" Spike gleamed when he saw Dante, throwing shade at the Dante that lived at the manor. The so-called "Dollar Store Dante", as Fox infamously called him.
"I believe that a switcheroo is in order," said Kratos, making his move as he approached Dante. The demigod frowned as he came to a stop when Sly jumped in front of him. "Out of my way, lousy raccoon!"
"Easy there, tiger," Sly said to Kratos with a smile, trying to steer Kratos away from Dante before things got out of hand. With Kratos, anything was possible. "We didn't come here to trade a Dante for a Dante."
"Well, that's our prerogative for the time being. Move it, or else!" Valuing his life, Sly held his hands up in defeat as he backed away. Kratos had a clear path toward Dante, as he approached the demon hunter.
"So ironic that the Japanese made this game," remarked Dante, playing 1943: Battle of the Midway as he shot down every Japanese plane in sight. Kratos tapped Dante on his shoulder, prompting him to pause his game and turn around.
"Good afternoon, Dante," Kratos warmly greeted in a friendly manner, speaking in a way that was almost unsettling. Sly nor Spike have rarely seen Kratos act so dignified before. "My name is Kratos, and I am from..."
"Yeah, you're that Kratos guy!" Dante smiled at Kratos, whose friendly facade was slowly fading away. Any minute now, the good ol' Kratos would unleash. "You're from the Underworld, right? Fist bump!" Dante held out his fist, as Kratos seethed.
"I do not care for your silly fist bumps!" Kratos slapped Dante's hand away, as Dante winced in slight pain and shook his hand off. "I am asking - no, demanding - that you join us at the All-Star Manor."
"Don't you guys have a Dante already? The diet version of me, I should say?" Dante enraged Kratos even more, as Kratos yelled loudly and grabbed Dante by the neck. Dante was undeterred as he smirked, much to Kratos' chagrin.
"You must join our prestigious manor, OR ELSE!" Kratos was yelling in Dante's face, getting his spit all over the demon hunter. Again, Dante was undeterred as he wiped away the saliva.
"Look, I like it here at the mansion, okay? Lots of highs, lots of lows, but the positives outweigh the negatives. So how about you leave me alone and deal with your lesser Dante, mmkay?"
"Kratos, let him go!" Zelda commanded the demigod, whose eyes turned to the princess as he maintained his vice grip on Dante's neck. Eventually heaving a sigh, Kratos finally released his hold on Dante.
"You will join us soon..." Kratos vowed to Dante, who was still smirking away as he clutched his neck. The demigod stared at Dante as he walked towards Master Hand and company, not looking away until he was reunited with the others.
"So tell us a bit more about Giovanni's machine..." Sly said to Zelda, getting back to the discussion at hand; Dante resumed playing his arcade game, as Kratos tried to keep a close eye on him.
Zelda: That was the second time today I was able to quell Kratos' wrath... *looks excited* ...I can't wait to tell Link! Hopefully, he will care. *pauses* I will make him care.
Since Samus was the one who "brought" him his new laptop, Fox depended on the bounty hunter to show him how to block Giovanni on his email. He found Samus with X in the producers' room, where she was searching for footage of the New Squidbeak Splatoon at the Dream Factory.
"You don't understand," Fox said to Samus, pestering the bounty hunter ever since he found her in the room. His presence wasn't making Samus' task any easier. "Giovanni needs to chill out!"
"Fox, everyone saw that email like two days ago," stated Samus, as Fox checked his email on his laptop to verify the date that Giovanni sent that email blast. "Way to be late to the party."
"Can't you just delete Giovanni's email?" X asked Fox, inserting a flash drive into a laptop and checking the many files that were on the storage device. "As everybody else did?"
"I dunno - I just need that man's email blocked, pronto," replied Fox; unable to find what he was looking for on the flash drive, X sighed as he ejected the flash drive and turned his attention to Fox.
"Here's what you should do." X grabbed a sticky note, and a pen, and wrote down a phone number before handing the sticky note to Fox. "Call that number; it's customer service. They can tell you what to do."
"Would've preferred Samus' help...but I'll accept this cop-out." Fox accepted the sticky note and stuffed it in his pocket, before taking his laptop and leaving the producers' room. Samus and X were both relieved, as they could accomplish their task in peace.
"Was that even the right number?" Samus asked X with a smile, under the guise that X wrote a completely made-up number.
"I won't say," replied X, fearing a possible return visit from Fox if the phone call didn't work out so well in Fox's favor.
It wasn't looking any better for Conker, as the squirrel was now acting loopy. The squirrel was wandering about in his living room, interacting with any object unfortunate enough to be in his path.
"More hot chocolate for you, Mr. President!" chirped Conker as he picked up a watering can and "poured" its contents into a flower pot on the windowsill. Safe to say that he was in another world right now.
"Pit, explain?" Falco said to the angel, who was on his phone googling alcohol withdrawal symptoms. Probably not the best person to ask, as Pit's reading skills were still below average.
"According to this site, alcohol withdrawal can cause hallucination," stated Pit, growing slightly afraid for Conker when he saw other symptoms listed under the hallucinating bit. "Which means that Conker is now officially a hippie."
"So that means he's not possessed by evil spirits?" asked Ophilia, who was keeping up with Conker to keep him out of harm's way. Some dude in the deep south might see no difference between being a hippie and being possessed by evil spirits.
"Thought we've already established that..." stated Jakob, as Conker wandered into the kitchen and opened the drawer to pull out a knife. Ophilia quickly put the knife away and closed the drawer.
"You mentioned that you 'scrutinized' Conker," Sonic spoke with Cyrus, while Ophilia led Conker out of the kitchen holding him by his hand. Like a teacher returning their student to the classroom. "What did you do?"
"I simply interrogated the subject to find out the source of his problems," replied Cyrus, before lowering his head as he reflected upon the information that he gathered. "What I saw is not for the faint of heart..."
"It's okay, we can handle it!" As Sonic said this, he put his hands over Lavenza's ears. Lavenza frowned and took Sonic's hands away. "Lay it on us."
"Well...I may have discovered why Conker was drinking so much in the first place. It appears that heartbreak sent him on a downward spiral."
"Heartbreak? Does that imply he was once in love?" asked Layton, deeply fascinated upon learning that Conker had a romantic side to him. Given how crude Conker was, no one would ever guess that.
"That is correct. He was madly in love...but then his girlfriend broke up with him. Very recently, I can assume. It has left him in dire straits."
"Would explain how Conker ended up homeless," Luke said to Layton, as he and the detective were the first to meet Conker in that dumpster outside the hotel. Conker went to a window and opened it, with Ophilia standing by.
"You want it, you got it! COME TO PAPA!" the squirrel exclaimed while holding his arms out wide, unaware that nothing was happening. After a few seconds, Ophilia closed the window.
"Please tell us there's a cure for his hallucinations..." Ophilia said to Conker, covering the window as she closed the curtains. Pit was googling away on his phone, hoping to find anything about a possible cure.
"It says here that Conker has...delirium tremens," stated Pit as he squinted his eyes, not sure if he pronounced the term correctly. A for effort, regardless. "Symptoms include hallucinations, shaking, confusion..."
"But is there a cure?" asked Lavenza, not caring for what the symptoms of delirium tremens were. So far, Conker exhibited two out of the three symptoms.
"Our best bet is to take Conker to the hospital or give him sedatives. If we go with the latter option...time to do a drug run!" Pit said that with a concerning amount of excitement.
"We can easily find sedatives without doing a drug...run," Jakob tried to convince Pit, only to trail off when Pit ran out of the house. Pit was probably gonna be arrested soon. "He's gonna stick his nose in trouble, isn't he?"
"Yup!" replied Sonic as he nodded his head, looking around at everyone present in the living room. His demeanor died down real quick when he noticed Layton, Luke, Falco, and Lavenza staring at him. "I know I'm not gonna hunt him down..."
Shulk: Got this nasty-looking pimple on my face. *leans in close to the camera, pointing at the pimple* Got no clue how it even got there! I really wanna pop it, but Dunban warned me that I would make the pimple infected. So I spoke with Fiora, and she recommended to me some cream that gets rid of pimples easily. The lesson of the day? Never ask Dunban for advice.
A pimple on the face was a huge dilemma for anyone to deal with, and so Shulk looked to take care of the pimple at once. The Homs waited outside a bathroom, and he was waiting for an awfully long time as he tapped his foot impatiently.
"Open up already!" Shulk shouted at whoever was inside the bathroom, banging his fist on the locked bathroom door. The person that was inside the bathroom must have their legs falling asleep by now.
"Other bathrooms exist, you know!" said the person in the bathroom, Bowser; the fact that the exhaust fan wasn't turned on made the Koopa King look suspicious. Tired of waiting any longer, Shulk took out his Monado.
"You're not gonna break down that door, are you?" Robin asked Shulk as he came down the hallway, with Shulk holding his Monado like he was about to perform a side smash. "I would advise you not to do that."
"Sorry, Robin, but Bowser's wasting my time," Shulk said to the mage, not caring how much trouble he might find himself in. He needed that facial cream before his pimple grew any bigger.
"Let me handle this, then." Learning that Bowser was in the bathroom, Robin approached the bathroom door as Shulk moved to the side and put his sword away. Robin cupped his hands, shouting, "Morton Koopa, put that mug down this instant!'
"Not my World's Best Dad mug!" Bowser shrieked, as Robin successfully tricked the Koopa King to exit the bathroom. "How else can I enforce the narrative that I'm..." Bowser saw that Morton was nowhere to be found - now hating the fact that he got played.
"This is what I used to treat pimples - Differin Adapalene Gel 0.1% Acne Treatment!" Callie's voice was heard, as Bowser still had a video playing on Callie's phone. Bowser had meant to pause it. "Why only 0.1 percent though?"
"Yeah, Differin Adapalene! That's what Fiora recommended," exclaimed Shulk, before seeing Bowser holding Callie's phone as the video kept on playing. Bowser tried to hide the phone behind his back. "Is that even your phone, Bowser?"
"Of course it is!" replied Bowser as he discreetly paused the video. "I was just watching the newest video on Callie's YouTube channel." Bowser tried to look all innocent to Shulk, as Robin took a peek behind the Koopa King and saw Callie's phone ripe for the taking.
"That's weird - because Callie hasn't uploaded a video on her channel in months." When you're as busy as Callie has been, uploading videos isn't that high on your priority list. "Hasn't uploaded since February!"
"The video's new to me, dang it! I'm catching up, that's all. And how would you know what's new? Do you constantly refresh her page? Just...just get your stupid cream and leave me alone!"
"I shall..." Shulk chose to let Bowser be great, as he entered the bathroom to get the pimple remover he needed. That left Bowser alone with Robin, who had very little to say.
"Watching video of Callie? Such a strange man you are," Robin shook his head in disappointment at Bowser, before walking away. Bowser was far removed from a "World's Best Dad" in Robin's eyes.
"I was watching those videos for my daughter's sake," Bowser defended himself to Robin, who waved off the Koopa King as he went down the hallway. Bowser pulled his hand from behind his back...and saw that Callie's phone was no longer there!
"Oh? Were you looking for this?" Robin came to a stop as he dug into his pocket, holding up Callie's phone. The mage waved the phone in his hand to taunt Bowser, who was growling angrily.
"No way! You barely even know how to operate a phone. Give it back!" Bowser chased after Robin, who put the phone away as he ran from Bowser. Robin wasn't the fastest person around, but he hoped that his slow running speed wouldn't fail him.
With Callie's phone yet to be returned to its rightful owner, Callie was growing ticked. The person who stole the phone, Snake, told Hal that he would reason with Callie...and he was still reasoning with the Inkling at the very moment.
"I wanted to ask you this important question..." Mr. Resetti said to Shadow as he followed after the black hedgehog. Once he caught up to Shadow, Resetti held up the SORRY! board game. "...sorry?"
"I'll cream you just this once so that you won't ask me to play with you again," answered Shadow, and Mr. Resetti grinned as Shadow led the mole into the lounge which was up ahead. Upon stepping inside the lounge, Shadow ran into Callie yelling at Snake.
"This will be my LAST time asking you," Callie stressed to Snake, who was sporting a black eye and a few bruises on his face. Callie must have roughed him up real good. "Where...is...my phone?!"
"Kirby sucked it up by accident," answered Snake, causing Callie to grit her teeth as she slapped Snake across the face. Snake didn't flinch. "Should be slapping Kirby instead."
Snake: Apparently, the whole "phone combusted into a million pieces" excuse didn't work on Callie. Perhaps she was too smart to take the bait. Kinda surprising, since she doesn't look all that smart.
"Can you slap Snake somewhere else?" Shadow asked Callie, who was about to put her hands on Snake and strangle him until she saw Shadow standing with Mr. Resetti. "I want to destroy Mr. Resetti at a board game in peace."
"It will be the best of times, and the fun-nest of times!" gleamed Mr. Resetti, who couldn't care less about losing to Shadow; he was stoked that Shadow agreed to play with him in the first place.
"We have a lot of unfinished business..." Callie said to Snake, grabbing the former spy by the hand as she led him out of the lounge. With Callie and Snake both gone, Shadow and Mr. Resetti could start their board game in peace as they both sat on the floor.
"Shall I go over the rules?" Mr. Resetti asked Shadow, placing the Sorry! board game on the floor as he took out the game pieces. The doorbell was heard ringing from down below.
The closest denizen to the front door was Skull Kid, who was expecting a package to come today. Chef Kawasaki ordered an air fryer (only for himself, apparently) and Skull hoped to intercept the package so that he could give the air fryer to a more deserving chef.
"Man can't use a can opener properly, yet wants his own air fryer..." mumbled Skull Kid as he answered the front door - greeted by a large man wearing shining armor. Not a delivery man, by any stretch of the imagination.
"'Note to self: do not be intimidated when the dragon appears,'" the knight in shining armor read a note to himself, before noticing Skull Kid. The knight tossed his note away as he appeared dignified. "Greetings and salutations!"
"Heh, for a knight you sure have a derpy voice." Skull Kid assumed the knight to be a guest for a tea party Shovel Knight might be hosting on the tower balcony. "What's your name?"
"My name...my name is..." Evidently, the knight didn't know what his own name was as he scratched his head. But soon it came to him. "...my name is Spartacus! A knight from a faraway land, looking to seek the legendary Smash Mansion."
"Does this place look like a mansion to you, bub?" Skull Kid questioned Spartacus, who took a couple of steps back as he looked at the tower in full. Once he got a good look, Spartacus returned to the front odor.
"You know what they say - looks can be deceiving!" Spartacus sounded confident that the Assist Tower was the Smash Mansion, and Skull Kid was facepalming at the knight's ignorance.
"For a knight, you sure are dumb..." They never said that intelligence was one of the seven knightly virtues. "...tell you what, I'll show you where the Smash Mansion really is."
Mario was unable to pry any of the wood off of the shed entrance, not even getting one wooden plank off. The task left him exhausted, as Mario was sitting in his living room with a fan blowing air on his face. The plumber was sweaty and tuckered out, staring into the distance.
"Got you a bottle of water," Hunter offered an ice-cold water bottle to Mario, who was too tired to even respond. The cheetah threw the bottle at the unresponsive Mario, accidentally striking him in the head before walking away.
"You look parched," Peach said to Mario as she came inside the living room, taking a seat next to her husband. The princess took out a cloth and used it to wipe off the sweat on Mario's face.
"Worked up a sweat to save-a my children," said Mario, speaking for the first time since returning inside his house. Peach was confused as to what Mario meant, as Jennifer walked by with her toy.
"Do you mean our children? Or are you referring to the Zapfish in our backyard?" Speaking of the backyard, Mario and Peach both heard a loud noise coming from outside. Mario was suddenly alert, his eyes going wide.
"Mama mia..." the plumber uttered, thinking that the mini Zapfish was in danger. Mario hopped off the couch and ran outside through the back screen doors...
...and arrived at his backyard, where he saw the shed attached to a tow truck. The truck was driven by Dr. Light's robot handyman, Auto, while Link, Marie, and Mega Man were standing by.
"Keep going, Auto, you're almost there!" Mega Man shouted to the robot, who was trying to lift the shed off of the ground. Mario couldn't believe what he was seeing, as he had his hands on his face.
"Not the Zapfish!" wailed Mario, before turning to Link and Marie hoping to make the two think things over. "Link?" Link turned to Mario, with a stern face that showed how unwavering he was.
"We're taking the Zapfish," Link said to Mario, showing the plumber that he wasn't backing down. "Clearly, you have spent way too much time with them." Mario could try and stop Auto all he wants, but it would be a fruitless attempt.
"Uh oh - Zapfish overboard!" alerted Auto, who successfully lifted the shed off of the ground, as a mini Zapfish fell out of the shed. Mario somehow recognized this mini Zapfish as he gasped.
"Sheldon!" the plumber shrieked as he ran to the mini Zapfish, which was flailing on the ground. "It's okay, daddy's got you..." Mario delicately cradled the mini Zapfish in his arms, as Marie gave him a judging look.
Auto: Tow truck hasn't been used in an awfully long time. But I will say, it's more equipped for moving vehicles and giant robots - not sheds with fishes in them. Is it too late to adopt a mini Zapfish?
"We have liftoff!" announced Auto, once he had the shed off its foundation. Mario was glaring as Auto was ready to carry the shed away from the premises.
"I won't let-a you get away with this..." Mario vowed to Link, pointing at the Hylian before taking Sheldon with him to the mansion. The plumber was going to have a stern talk with Link's wife, Zelda - futile as it may be.
"Come to think of it, throwing all that Zapfish on Mario was a bad idea in retrospect," Mega Man discussed with Link and Marie, never imagining that Mario would ever care for the mini Zapfish that much.
"Eh, he'll get over it eventually," shrugged Link, making a mental note to ask Mario to give up Sheldon later. The Hylian turned his attention to Auto. "Take it away, Auto!"
While he was reasoning with Callie (and also being physically assaulted by the Inkling), Snake kept in touch with Hal with his codec whenever possible. The last time he spoke with Hal, he told the hacker that he was in the tower's lounge. And that's where Hal was headed, after building up the courage to tell Snake that Bowser took Callie's phone.
"What?! I have to move back four spaces again?!" Mr. Resetti complained after drawing a card from the deck, as Hal walked into the mole and Shadow playing a game of Sorry!. "Why does this only happen to me?"
"Guess that's what happens when the universe hates you," replied Shadow, who shuffled the cards - expertly shuffled them in a way that Resetti would be stuck with the worst cards in the deck.
"Excuse me! Snake was supposed to be in this room," Hal said to Mr. Resetti and Shadow, after noticing that Snake and Callie were nowhere to be found. "Where is he?"
"Not here, obviously." As Shadow drew a card from the deck after Mr. Resetti moved his blue pawn, Hal sighed and left the lounge. "Another pawn moving from Start..."
Master Hand and Zelda were in Master Hand's room, still waiting for confirmation that Wily was back home. With them were the three guests from the manor - Kratos, Sly, and Spike - as they hoped to speak with Wily soon.
"Go on - I can be left alone," Kratos said to Sly and Spike, allowing them to enjoy the splendors of the mansion. Polygon Man asked Sly and Spike to keep a close eye on Kratos during their time in Seattle, so they chose to stay.
"No thanks; we gotta keep a close eye on you," Spike said to Kratos, making sure that the demigod didn't make a perilous move, like killing Zelda. Such a move would make Link the most vengeful man in history.
"Whaddaya mean, the Zapfish-a have to go home?" Mario asked Zelda, having asked the princess if she could make Link turn Auto's tow truck around. Zelda shot down Mario's request in a hurry.
"The Professor's machine self-destructed, so he called it quits," Zelda explained to Mario, prepared to ask the plumber to give up Sheldon. No mini Zapfish should be left behind. "So the manor is looking for another way to..."
"Master Hand? You have a visitor!" Skull Kid called out to the giant hand from afar, as Master Hand perked up. The mansion was getting a lot of visits today, which Master Hand liked.
"Bring them on over!" Master Hand responded with a shout, as he waited a good bit for Skull Kid to bring the guest. Skull Kid walked into the room with Spartacus, who struggled to walk with the heavy armor on.
"This is...this is Spartacus," Skull Kid introduced Master Hand to the knight, who was struggling to even stand up straight and appear dignified. "He, um, wanted to see the Smash Mansion."
"Nice to meet..." said Spartacus as he held out his hand to Master Hand...only to realize that he was facing the wrong direction. The knight turned around and faced Master Hand, holding out his hand a second time. "...nice to meet you, good sir!"
"Wanted to a fist pound, but this will do," said Master Hand as he gleefully shook Spartacus' hand; Mario and Zelda both felt uneasy, as they looked at Spartacus with cynical stares.
"He doesn't look like he's all there," Zelda whispered to Mario, unable to take Spartacus seriously as a knight due to his clumsy nature. Kratos, Sly, and Spike were just as cynical, with Kratos frowning intensely.
"What land or kingdom do you hail from, Mr. Spartacus?" Master Hand asked the knight; just like when he was asked about his name, Spartacus had no clue what to say. He even had to look away for a moment to think of something.
"I'm from the great land of...of Excalibur!" answered Spartacus, sounding like he was blurting out the first name that popped into his head. His answer made the others all the more cynical.
"Excalibur is a sword." That factoid from Master Hand made Spartacus gasp, causing the knight to think that he goofed up. "But if there is such a land that is called Excalibur...I will accept it."
"He's also a knight of the royal table," Skull Kid said to Master Hand, sharing some information that Spartacus told him during his difficult trek to the mansion. "Or so he claims."
"I also hate dragons," stated Spartacus, boasting something about him that might also count as a personality trait. "I mean, I love to slay dragons! The fact that Spartacus felt the need to correct himself was greatly suspicious.
"We're sure that you do," Zelda said to Spartacus, her cynicism of the knight far outweighing those of the others - especially after he corrected himself. The princess had a funny feeling about Spartacus.
"If I may, Master Hand..." Kratos said to the giant hand as he approached Spartacus, with something that he had to get off his chest regarding the knight. "This Spartacus fellow...sounds like a fraud!"
"Me, a fraud?" questioned Spartacus, offended that Kratos was pointing accusingly at him. The knight thought of himself as the real deal. "Perish the thought!"
"Spartacus was a gladiator who fought in the war against Rome. A Thracian man of honor prevalent in the Common Era." As Kratos was dropping knowledge, he walked around the room eyeing Spartacus like he was his prey. "Why would such a name be bestowed upon a knight from the Middle Ages?"
"You know, he has a point," stated Mario, unable to think of any royal knight that carried the name of a Roman gladiator. The shoe did not fit at all.
"Whoever said that I was from the Middle Ages?" snorted Spartacus, not sure of what Kratos was trying to insinuate. "I'm stuck with those stupid magical dragons from the..." Spartacus stopped speaking, realizing that he was one word away from spilling the tea.
"Princess Zelda, may I have your permission to destroy this fraud?" Kratos asked Zelda, only asking her since she was a voice of authority. Zelda just had her suspicions confirmed, prepared to give Kratos the green light.
"Kratos...show this 'knight' what you're made of," Zelda commanded the demigod, lowkey ecstatic that she got to command Kratos a third time. Only this time, however, Kratos wasn't begrudging to the princess.
"Let's think this through!" Spartacus said to Kratos, holding his hands out as Kratos wielded his Levithan axe. Kratos was finally getting the carnage he was looking for today. "I'm defenseless, I don't even have a weapon!"
Zelda: Spartacus took hold of my intrigue when I first saw him. But then he kept mentioning dragons. And that kind of reminded me of someone - someone that I was told about.
"Your loss," Kratos said to Spartacus, before letting out a battle cry that would trigger an army of men to rush into battle. Spartacus shrieked as Kratos chased him out of Master Hand's room, Levithan axe in hand.
We should go follow him," Spike said to Sly, wanting to keep up with Kratos to ensure that the demigod didn't outright kill Spartacus. The monkey catcher took a step forward, only for Sly to stop him.
"He said that he can be left alone, did he not?" Sly asked Spike, who thought about what Kratos said earlier as he took a step back. If Spartacus dies, he dies. "Best to grant him his wish."
Samus and X remained in the producers' room, dedicated to finding that footage of the New Squidbeak Splatoon's venture at the Dream Factory. Running out of time, X asked a member of the documentary crew if they had a flash drive on them - and a boom operator came through.
"He told me that the producers think we might be 'scared' by what this footage implicates," X explained to Samus after inserting the flash drive into the laptop, seeing that the files on the storage device were recent. "Said it has 'juicy bits' that not even Marie and Callie are privy to."
"These 'juicy bits' are the reason why we're doing this," stated Samus, as X clicked on a file and opened up a video. X had to wait until he could click the play button - because guess who came back to bother him and Samus?
"Called customer service, they were no help," Fox said to Samus and X as he returned to the producers' room with his laptop. "But I did find a way to block Giovanni, no thanks to DuckDuckGo."
"That was your lesson for today - to discover a search engine other than Google," Samus said to Fox as she patted the pilot on his head. Fox hated being petted, as he felt like a little kid. "Congrats, McCloud, you've passed."
Fox: As I said, customer service was no help. The service rep kept insulting my intelligence during the call, which isn't their job. It's supposed to be the other way around. When I told him - multiple times, mind you - that I was Fox McCloud, he assumed that I was an imposter. Hung up the phone on that lunatic.
"Yeah, I 'passed'...no thanks to you guys," said Fox, leaving the producers' room in a huff. At least he could tell Krystal that he successfully blocked Giovanni. Regardless of how much his wife cared.
Thinking that Snake was back at the mansion, Hal returned to the establishment on the hunt for his friend. He would soon run into Fox, who was muttering a few things about Samus and X under his breath until he encountered Hal.
"Hi, Mr. McCloud!" Hal greeted the pilot, wiping away sweat from his forehead thinking that it was a bad look. "You haven't seen Snake anywhere, have you?"
"Nope," replied Fox, who spent much of his time in a closet dealing with customer service. Valuable time wasted, in his eyes. "But if I were you...watch out!"
"Watch out? For what?" Hal soon saw what Fox meant, as Spartacus came running in his direction. Hal and Fox both jumped out of harm's way as Spartacus collided against the wall, with Kratos drawing near.
"Put up a fight already!" Kratos shouted at Spartacus, wanting the knight to strike back at least once. The demigod was being fair, which for him was a rarity.
"I told you, I don't have a weapon!" Spartacus said to Kratos, cowering in fear. Kratos looked around for a weapon, and his eyes fell upon Fox's laptop - which Fox dropped while evading Spartacus.
"Hey bub, that's my laptop!" Fox shouted at Kratos, who didn't care in the slightest as he picked up the laptop and tossed it to Spartacus. Spartacus caught Fox's laptop, whimpering in fear.
"It's not much, but it will do," Kratos said to Spartacus as he wielded his Leviathan Axe, while Fox looked in on fear. "Now fight me like a man!" Instead of fighting like a man, Spartacus ran away with Fox's laptop in tow.
"Gimme back my laptop!" Fox shouted at Spartacus, who was being chased down the hallway by Kratos. "Dang it, Samus hasn't gotten the insurance yet..." The pilot was left with no other choice but to follow Spartacus, hoping to get his laptop back in one piece.
Sonic was deliberately talked into looking for Pit, who had left Conker's house to do a drug run. Unable to locate the angel anywhere in town, Sonic went to the mansion to gather some clues. Moments after the hedgehog returned to the mansion...
"There he is!" Sonic quietly exclaimed when he saw Pit speaking with Guile, who was in the hallway doing push-ups. Guile was being a show-off, with his feet resting on the wall.
"I cannot offer you any sedatives," Guile said to Pit, now being even more of a show-off as he performed push-ups with just one hand. His upper body strength must be out of this world.
"C'mon, Guile, you're my last hope!" Pit said to the major, who at this point could do push-ups by simply blowing on the ground without using any of his hands. Avatar Aang style. "I mean, word has it that you know a thing or two about administering drugs..."
"Oh really? Is that so?" asked Sonic, who immediately thought of his old pal Earnest when Pit brought up Guile dispensing drugs. Guile stopped working out as he saw Sonic, hopping up to his feet.
"We never had this conversation," Guile said to Pit, appearing nervous as he hurried away from the scene. The major was looking mighty suspicious in the process, as Sonic stared at him inquisitively in his retreat.
"Back so soon?" Cloud asked Sonic and Pit as he showed up, hoping that the latter would've stayed at Conker's place. Mainly for his own sanity. "How's Conker doing? Is he getting any better?"
"He's...not so good," replied Pit, as Cloud figured that no improvement was made. "But I'm looking for sedatives to cure him." Cloud knew that Pit couldn't be trusted to find the right sedatives, so Cloud pulled out his phone and made a call.
"Hello? Is this the pharmacy?" As Cloud was on the phone, Kratos and Spartacus were headed in his direction. Spartacus was running for his life, screaming like the coward he was, as Kratos chased after him.
"Heads up, Cloud!" Sonic shouted to the unobservant swordsman as he shoved him out of the way, allowing Kratos and Spartacus to run past without any trouble. Cloud did not appreciate Sonic shoving him like that.
"What the heck, Sonic? Can't you see that I'm..." Cloud stopped speaking as he watched Kratos and Spartacus; Kratos finally caught up to his prey, beating him with his axe. "...who's that knight guy?"
Robin had no idea how he did it, but he was able to get away from Bowser, having lost the Koopa King. The nonstop running took its toll on the mage, who was chilling at the mansion's treehouse taking a breather.
"Slow and steady wins the race," grinned Robin, panting as he took out Callie's phone from his pocket. He got some sweat on the device, but he didn't care. "Knew that my slow-moving legs wouldn't fail me."
"AAAAAAHHH!" Snake was heard shouting, his voice coming from up above. Robin moved to the side as Snake was flung out of the treehouse, landing on the ground face-first with a loud thud.
"That's what you get for taking my phone!" Callie shouted at Snake, poking her head out from the treehouse window. Snake finally owned up to Callie about stealing her phone, likely because he couldn't stomach any more pain...and now he ended up in a world of pain.
"You mean this phone?" Robin called out to Callie as he held up the Inkling's phone; Callie smiled as she climbed down the treehouse ladder. "I've been waiting to give it back to its rightful owner."
"Robin, you're a lifesaver!" Once she was on the ground, Callie gave Robin a big fat hug and kissed him on the cheek. Many times. For Callie, it was like being reunited with her long-lost child.
"Yes, a lifesaver...that's what I am." Robin took whatever he got, feeling like a big dang hero. Meanwhile, Snake was grumbling in pain, his voice muffled by the ground.
Robin: Today I got kissed by a squid. The experience...the experience was just how I figured it would be.
"Haha! Thought that you could outrun me?" Bowser asked Robin as he finally caught up to the mage. "Give me that phone or...else." The Koopa King trailed off upon seeing Callie, reunited with her phone.
"You were saying something?" Callie asked Bowser with her hands on her hips, daring the Koopa King to say another word. Bowser bit his bottom lip, not wishing to say anything that could make Callie snap.
"Write down all the beauty products you use." Switching to his plan B, which he made on the fly, Bowser took out a pen and paper from his imaginary pocket and handed both items to Callie. "Don't ask any questions, just do it! It's for my daughter, Wendy."
Suddenly a loud crash was heard, as Spartacus was flung outside by Kratos after crashing through the wall. A big hole was made, and Spartacus was lying on the ground with his big meaty arms protecting Fox's laptop.
"Um...I better go thanks for the phone Robin BYE!" Callie hurriedly said to Robin, handing Bowser back his pen and paper before she retreated to the tower for her safety. She wanted no part of what was going down.
"Ah, yes, this is the preferred position," Kratos said to Spartacus as he stood over the knight, towering over him and sending fear deep into his miserable soul. "I shall cut your head off!"
"No, don't!" Spartacus begged Kratos as he turned his head away, his entire life flashing before his eyes. Kratos held up his Leviathan Axe, looking to decapitate Spartacus for good.
"Kratos...stop. That's enough," a commanding voice called out to the demigod, as Zelda was standing outside with Sonic and Mario. Sonic had informed Zelda about Kratos, and Zelda and Mario caught up to Kratos in time.
"Spared by the princess...you should count yourself fortunate," Kratos said to Spartacus, putting his axe away and stepping back as he spared the knight's life. Spartacus was full of relief, clutching his chest as Fox appeared through the hole in the wall.
"That is mine, thank you very much..." Fox said to Spartacus as he snatched his laptop out of the knight's hands. As Fox stormed off to his house, an Arwing landed at the scene - Falco's Arwing.
"Now that is what you call 21st-century transportation," Falco said to Cyrus and Ophilia as he exited the Arwing, hoping that his passengers were impressed. As they got out of the Arwing, Cyrus and Ophilia spotted Spartacus.
"Is that a knight?" Ophilia wondered when she saw Spartacus, who was struggling to get up off the ground. The cleric approached Spartacus, and asked, "Excuse me, but are you from Victors Hollow?"
"Never heard of that place in my life..." answered Spartacus, who had to get down on one knee as the armor was weighing down hard on him. Very abnormal for any knight to endure that predicament.
"Cyrus, would you care to Scrutinize him? He might be from our land." Spartacus would tell Ophilia where he was from, but he was super close to spilling the beans once already.
"Say no more," replied Cyrus as he approached Spartacus; Spartacus tried to move away, only to fall down on his butt while Cyrus did his thing. "Hmm...this is in fact some goblin creature posing as a knight."
"Some goblin creature, you say..." said Zelda, tapping her chin as the funny feeling she felt a while ago suddenly made its return. Cyrus kept on scrutinizing Spartacus, looking for any more information he could find.
"That's not all, he also seems to hate dragons. Almost a personality trait of his." The funny feeling Zelda had was steadily growing, as Zelda was anxious to know what Spartacus' true identity was.
"Hates-a dragons, huh?" said Mario, wishing to see how much Spartacus despised dragons as he ran away. And no, he wasn't going to fetch a Dratini from the Pokemon sanctuary - the plumber was headed straight to his house.
"The hating dragons part is a big, fat lie," Spartacus stated to the others, doing his best to save face; the pressure was beginning to mount, and Spartacus was buckling under it. "I love dragons!"
"That's not what Cyrus said," said Falco, knowing that Cyrus wasn't a liar; Cyrus scrutinized Falco and revealed that the avian pilot liked sleeping in the nude, which Falco didn't even deny.
"If you love dragons so, then why don't you show us?" challenged Bowser, who to this day classified himself as a dragon. Meaning that he would sucker punch Spartacus for hating him by default.
"I have a dragon right-a here!" shouted Mario as he came back from his house, as Spartacus was scared for his life. But once Mario returned with a small dragon wearing a brown fedora and heavily-tinted sunglasses, he had no reason to be scared.
"Oh, it's just a small purple dragon with a fedora..." Spartacus sighed in relief, only for Mario to take off the brown fedora to reveal the purple dragon to be... "...Spyro the Dragon?!"
"Gnasty Gnorc?" said Spyro, after Spartacus had said the purple dragon's name without speaking in his usual voice. Spyro got a good look at Spartacus, who as Kratos said earlier was a fraud. "Is that you under all that armor?"
"Let's not be too hasty!" Spartacus had no idea whom he was talking to, as Spyro charged at the knight and sent him falling on his back. Spartacus' helmet came right off of his head...
...and Spartacus was revealed to be none other than, well, Gnasty Gnorc. Gnasty touched his head, as his knight helmet was no longer there.
"Yup, that's him alright..." Snake said as he slowly lifted up his head, recognizing Gnasty from the images he saw on Callie's phone. The former spy was still in pain, as he collapsed to the ground.
Mario: For years, I have longed-a to pull that stunt with the fedora hat. A reverse stunt. The only problem was, I didn't have a pet-a platypus to do it with. Shout out to Spyro for being a good-a sport.
Spyro: Is it ever too late to cancel Mario's Disney+ subscription?
"The Squid Sisters told me about how you reared your ugly head," Spyro said to Gnasty, as he was looking forward to kicking the Gnorc's butt. Or flaming his butt, rather, in this case. "How about I burn your butt to a crisp, like the old times?"
"Never!" shouted Gnasty, mustering all of his strength as he tried to get up. But by the time he stood on his feet, Gnasty was struck in the head by a dictionary. Which was thrown by Cyrus.
"He is all yours, dragon," Cyrus said to Spyro, as Gnasty was left rubbing his head; that gave an opening for Spyro, who blew his flame breath on Gnasty's exposed buttocks.
"OW!" Gnasty was howling in pain, as the burning sensation caused him to jump up unto his feet. He clutched his butt as he ran away from Spyro, who flamed Gnasty's butt repeatedly until he chased the Gnorc into the woods.
"Stay out, if you know what's good for ya!" Spyro shouted at Gnasty; the purple dragon expected to see Gnasty again in the near future, but he was happy that he got to singe the Gnorc for the first time in years.
"Serves him right for hating on dragons," Bowser had this to say about Gnasty, leaving the backyard area as the excitement died down. "Now to ask Callie about those beauty products..."
"He destroyed part of the mansion...what a surprise," remarked Cloud as he and Aerith appeared at the hole Kratos made, standing in it and analyzing the damage. Aerith smiled when she saw Ophilia and Cyrus, as she ran up to them.
"You two made it back!" the flower girl gleamed to Ophilia and Cyrus, as Cloud debated whether he should stay or leave Aerith behind. Best to leave now while the opportunity presented itself. "So how were Jakob and the others?"
"Jakob was nice once you get to know him," replied Ophilia - imagine saying that about Jakob five years ago, someone would be looking at you sideways. "Orson was...there, and Conker was hallucinating from some kind of withdrawal."
"Two dapper men are going to find him the sedatives he needs," added Cyrus - always count on Layton and Luke to get the job done. And never count on Pit, depending on the situation.
"That's good," smiled Aerith, certain that Ophilia and Cyrus enjoyed their time at Conker's house. Almost made up for the fact that Cloud wanted very little to do with them. "Would you like to join us later for dinner?"
"Hey, I wanted to do that!" Falco frowned at Aerith, believing that he deserved the privilege of giving the invite since he was the chauffeur. He would've invited Ophilia and Cyrus during the ride in the Arwing, but it slipped his mind.
"We would love to be your honored guests," replied Ophilia, expressing her gratitude to Aerith; if the three All-Stars were invited to dinner too, might as well keep Ophilia and Cyrus away from Mr. You-Know-Who.
"Hey, weren't you holding a mini Zapfish earlier?" Sonic came over to ask Mario, who realized that Sheldon wasn't in his possession. Mario returned to his home just to see if Sheldon was okay...or if Link might've taken him.
That evening, the mansion residents were in the dining room, having dinner. Mexican food was on the menu, and a lot of food was made, meaning that folks from the tower were free to join.
"I almost beat Shadow in a game of Sorry!," Mr. Resetti bragged to Byleth, taking a bite from his soft taco; Shadow, who was seated nearby, overheard Resetti speaking as he snorted in disbelief.
"If by 'almost', you mean 'having all four pawns at Start', then sure," said Shadow, owning Mr. Resetti as the mole kept silent and ate his food in peace. Shadow destroyed Mr. Resetti with facts and logic, but mainly facts.
"Sure you don't want a burrito or something?" Min Min asked Hal, who requested a bowl of noodles from the martial artist. Min Min was reluctant to give Hal his bowl of noodles, not wanting the hacker to be the odd man out.
"Third time's the charm, they say," replied Hal, knowing how his previous two bowls of noodles turned out. Min Min gave the noodles to Hal, who slurped away as Meta Knight shook his head disapprovingly.
Meta Knight: Countless times I've asked Pyra and Mythra to do a Mexcian night, and finally they listen. Everyone is happy about not having takeout food again. Sometimes it pays off to listen to the quiet ones.
"Gave all of my old beauty products to Bowser," Callie spoke with Marie, as the Squid Sisters walked past Hal. Hal stopped slurping his noodles after hearing Callie's voice. "Wendy Koopa won't notice a thing!"
"Marie and Callie!" Hal called out to the Squid Sisters, who froze in place fearing that Hal might obsess over them. Hal was revealed to be a Squid Sisters fan in the last episode, so the fear was justified. "Heard that you went on a mission to an island last week. Mind showing me a few pictures, if you have any?"
"Of course!" replied Marie, beating Callie to the punch as she took out her phone and opened up her image gallery. Callie kept her phone out as she glossed through her device, only to later furrow her brow.
"What's Hal doing on my contact list?" the Inkling wondered as she saw the hacker's name listed among her most recently added contacts. Assuming that it was Snake's doing, Callie deleted Hal's number from her phone.
"Alright, Mario...give it up," Link said to Mario in the dining room, ordering the plumber to hand over the mini Zapfish known as Sheldon. Auto kept the mini Zapfish at Dr. Light's lab until Cap'n Cuttlefish made contact, and only one Zapfish had yet to be accounted for.
"You will be missed-a Sheldon..." Mario bid goodbye to Sheldon as he kissed the mini Zapfish, garnering an inquisitive look from Link as he handed Sheldon to the Hylian. "...will I see him again?"
"Sure you will...if you visit Inkopolis, I guess." With Sheldon in tow, Link left the dining room so that he could give the mini Zapfish to Mega Man. Mario stood where he was, looking sad, as Bowser joined him.
"I know how you feel," Bowser sympathized with Mario, placing his hand on the plumber's shoulder. The moments where Bowser showed sympathy for Mario, let alone anyone else, were far and few in between. "Sometimes it's hard being a daddy..."
"Nobody asked-a for your two cents." Mario swatted Bowser's hand away, as he left the dining room to head back home. Bowser grumbled as he returned to his seat.
"Man, this is some good grub!" Sly said to Kratos and Spike, as he was treating himself to an enchilada. Having a few All-Stars over for dinner at the mansion was a monumental occasion.
"Surely Dr. Wily has to be back by now," replied Spike, as he and the fellas were only sticking around until Wily returned to the tower. It was already dark, and there was no sign of Wily yet.
"Oh, guys! Guess who I found!" chirped Isabelle, as she brought a certain robot inventor into the dining room. The Shih Tzu dragged Wily inside, and Wily did not appreciate being manhandled.
"Let go of me, stupid dog!" Wily shouted at Isabelle, unleashing his inner Eustance as he pulled Isabelle's hands off of his lab coat. The robot inventor dusted himself off, as Sly and company perked up.
"Just the man we wanted to speak with!" exclaimed Sly as he, Kratos, and Spike got up from their seats and approached Wily. Wily was initially afraid as he held up his arms in front of him. "Woah, take it easy! We're not gonna hurt you."
"Forgive me, that was an instinct." Wily lowered his guard, taking Sly's word for granted. Although with Kratos present, he had his doubts. "I was out all day looking for that blasted time machine..."
"Really, Dr. Wily? Was that why you were gone all day?" Marie asked the robot inventor, as she was letting Hal look through the images on her phone. "Must be a sign of you developing dementia."
"Impossible! My delusions have nothing to do with me having dementia. What am I even saying, I'm not delusional! The time machine is real! AAAAH!" Wily was acting like a drama queen, pulling on the hairs of his head.
"Stop it, Wily! You're embarrassing yourself," Spike calmed down the robot inventor, who stopped pulling on his hair. Wily was still going to badmouth Marie later, though - and Callie as well, just by association.
"We have a question to ask of you," Kratos said to Wily, a little salty that he was going back home to New York without killing a single person. "Your universe transport device...can it access the Twilight Realm?"
"So you're curious to know, eh..." Wily grinned as he pulled on his mustache, knowing why the All-Stars were asking him. He was aware of Raiden being trapped in the realm of Twilight. "...that, sadly, isn't possible."
"How come?" inquired Sly; if Wily's machine could easily access the Kingdom Hearts universe and Spyro's universe, then surely it could reach the Twilight Realm. But that was not the case.
"My device can only access alternate universes - not parallel universes. There is a difference. The Twilight Realm is a universe that is parallel to ours."
"Guess we're back to square one, boys..." A darn shame for the three All-Stars, as they were counting on Wily to come through following the destruction of the Professor's machine. "...bet it'd be too much trouble to build a second machine."
"Oh yes, it would be a whole lot of trouble! Unless I depended on someone to help me build this second machine. Someone like..." Wily was about to say a name but then held his tongue, as his face soured.
"Someone like who?" Spike asked Wily, who looked like he had a permanent scowl on his face. Wily walked away as the name dwelled intensely on his mind, while Spike looked at Sly and Kratos as he shrugged.
Wily: I see what those All-Stars are trying to do...they want me to team up with that miscreant! That nincompoop! That unlovable jerk! That excrement of a human being! That...that...I definitely to come up with more names. But the point of the matter is, I'm not working with that four-eyed loser. *widens eyes as he takes out a notepad and a pencil* Now that's a new one!
When the residents convened in the dining room for dinner, Master Hand enjoyed the private time he had in his room. His private time was interrupted, however, when Samus stopped by his room with a laptop.
"Ever heard of knocking, Miss Aran?" Master Hand asked the bounty hunter, who was holding a laptop from the producers' room. The flash drive that X got from the boom operator was in the USB port.
"Not like you were doing anything important," replied Samus as she placed the laptop on Master Hand's bed, before opening up a video that had captured her and X's attention. "Think you might wanna see this..."
Based on what Samus and X saw, the two understood quickly why the Smash Life producers kept that footage out of the residents' hands.