Author's Note:
It happened...I had to write this chapter on Thanksgiving day. Woe is me, I guess.
So I might've caught you off guard when I said that the next chapter will be a Thanksgiving episode, huh? well, this chapter IS a Thanksgiving episode. Remember a while back when I said that I would be doing some catching up? Well, I realized that would be impossible, given how on and off I was with writing, so this iteration of Smash Life will be the catch-up. Anyone who had a game that areas released between August and November will show up here. Chapter 400 canonically took place on August 17th, the release of the Red Dead Redemption port; this chapter, Thanksgiving Day. So there you have it. I realized publishing those new chapters on consecutive days didn't go as planned, but this will make up for things. I think.
Now, with that out of the way...Happy Thanksgiving! (Forgot to say that last year...)
Episode 401: Anecdotes
Dunban: Happy Thanksgiving, all! Dunban here, and I am here to...well, I'm here to do this Thanksgiving-themed episode of Smash Life. Obviously, it's been a while since we last had any filming done; the producers took a break and did their own thing, while the rest of us continued to live our best lives. Not much action has occurred since August. Heck, we've hardly heard a peep from Dimentio and his goons ever since Raiden got out of Twilight! Perhaps they were too chicken to show their face because the cameras were rolling...I kid, I kid.
But it's great that LeVar, Brad, and the rest of the crew could come back in time for Thanksgiving because we've had yet another eventful holiday this year. And per request of the producers...I've been told to do this episode in this format. So let's begin with a few common traditions, two of which pertain to the Mario Bros - Mario watching his parade float, and Luigi burning up his turkey.
For about three months, the Smash Life documentary crew had taken a hiatus from filming. The producers LeVar and Bra d used the time off to take care of some personal matters, while the rest of the crew did their own thing. Whether it was finding love, working a part-time job, reading a book, or even writing a book.
But now the crew was refreshed, and they were ready to get back in the swing of things. The goal was to get back to filming in late November, and the goal was reached as everyone from the cameramen to the sound design folks were back in Seattle. They all came back for one thing, and one thing only...Thanksgiving.
It was a crisp Thanksgiving morning in the Emerald City, and Mario taking it easy as he had plans to watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade in his living room. He had set up his new recliner in front of the TV, a bowl of popcorn in one hand and a controller in the other.
"Who eats popcorn this early in the morning?" Spyro questioned Mario as he watched the plumber setting things up in the living room. "And more importantly...can I get some?"
"Dragons can't eat popcorn; WebMD said so," Mario replied matter-of-factly as he plopped down on his recliner and placed his feet on the legrest. Didn't bother taking off his bedroom slippers.
"The same WebMD that claimed you had stomach ulcers? From eating too much onions?" Spyro would go ignored, as Mario turned on the television; the parade was on the screen.
"Oh, Peach! My parade float is coming up soon," Mario called out to his wife, as he was able to make out his parade float coming down Times Square. Just then, the doorbell sounded.
"Can't be Thanksgiving without a guest," remarked Spyro, as Mario got off his recliner to go answer the door. With Mario gone, Spyro sneakily ate some popcorn out of Mario's bowl.
When Mario opened his front door, he was pleasantly surprised to see the man who was freed from the Twilight Realm back in August...Raiden. For Mario, it was like seeing an old friend after ten years.
"Good morning Raiden, and happy Thanksgiving!" Mario greeted Raiden, as he was feigning inviting the mercenary to his Thanksgiving meal. "How was your little 'excursion'?"
"Hello, Mario - it was nice to travel around the globe," replied Raiden, appearing cordial as he maintained a very low profile. "Again, many thanks for playing a key role in bringing me back."
Raiden: Because I was gone for such a long time, Polygon Man insisted that I spend the next month or two exploring the globe. See what I missed out on. And I must say...I'm glad that I took up his offer. Keeping myself away from those cretins at the manor gave the the most relief I've ever had.
"Do you care to join-a my family for Thanksgiving?" Mario offered to Raiden, while Spyro was going crazy on the popcorn and eating every single kernel there was. "It's okay if you say no."
"No, but I have come to deliver a message," replied Raiden, about to fulfill his purpose for speaking with Mario in the first place. "The manor wants to send three of its All-Stars over to deliver some dessert."
"Oh, they do, huh?" Mario nervously pulled on his collar, as he remembered how the manor's visit turned out last Thanksgiving. It pretty much led to a mansion food fight.
"Rest assured Kratos won't be the one delivering it." Even without Kratos, things still went off the track. Wouldn't make much of a difference either way.
"Sorry, I was in the bathroom, did you call me?" Peach asked Mario as she came downstairs, eventually joining her husband at the door. She gasped with joy when she saw Raiden. "Good morning, Raiden! Nice of you to join us for Thanksgiving!"
"I never said that I was..." Too late, as Peach grabbed Raiden by the hand and dragged him inside. Peach slammed the door shut so that Raiden wouldn't quickly escape.
"You're just in time, because I was just about to do breakfast. Come and take a seat!" Peach sat Raiden down at the dining room table, before humming a happy tune as she went to the kitchen.
"After breakfast, I'm leaving..." Raiden said quietly to Mario, as Peach went inside the fridge and pulled out an egg carton. Peach was hoping that Raiden loved a good omelet.
"Peach will frankly have-a the final say in that," Mario quietly responded, only to notice Spyro licking his bowl clean. All the popcorn was gone. "Mama Mia! My popcorn!"
xxx
It was another usual Thanksgiving day at the Luigi household, with Luigi in the kitchen making last-minute preparations for the Thanksgiving meal. The rest of Luigi's family (and Yuffie) was in the kitchen, eating breakfast. And what about Luigi's turkey, did it catch on fire by any chance? One way to find out...
"THE TURKEY'S ON-A FIRE!" Luigi panicked, as Daisy groaned and nearly fell out of her chair as she looked up at the heavens. Yuffie was left shaking her head at Luigi's incompetence.
"Some things never change..." sighed Yuffie...and then a second later, Luigi started giggling. Daisy and Yuffie both eased up, wondering what the laughing matter was.
"Ha, just kidding!" Luigi took the turkey out of the oven, and it turned out that the poultry was just fine. It looked like the best turkey that Luigi ever cooked, bar none.
"Please don't scare us like that..." Daisy sternly told Luigi as she recomposed herself, eventually finding the fortitude to resume eating her breakfast. But then the princess realized something. "...wait a minute!
"The turkey didn't catch on fire this time?!" questioned Yuffie as she arose from the table, with Daisy doing the same. Luigi looked around failing to see what the big deal was.
"Yeah, what?" asked Luigi, as Daisy and Yuffie exchanged looks with one another unable to contain their excitement. Then the ladies let it all out, cheering as they ran into the kitchen to celebrate.
"YOU DID IT!" Daisy exclaimed to Luigi as she hugged and kissed her husband, smooching him on his cheek multiple times. "You went one Thanksgiving without burning up the turkey!"
"Finally, we don't have to suffer!" rejoiced Yuffie, as she was completely over the moon; the odds of her mooching off on someone else's Thanksgiving dinner now diminished.
Luigi: Huh, who knew-a that baking a turkey at 325 degrees for three and a half-a hours would equal success? Daisy's been telling me to do that all these years, but all this time I thought-a that she was pulling my tail. I might have to listen to her from-a now on when it comes-a to the Christmas dinner - no more scorched-a ham!
"Not only that, but that egg sandwich you made for us was great!" exclaimed Yuffie, as she and Daisy gave Luigi enough room to place his turkey on the kitchen counter. "You're on fire today."
"Thanks, I'm glad-a you liked it," responded Luigi, before making a very sheepish smile as he had something she wanted to get off her chest. "Those eggs were two months past-a the expiration date."
"...like Yuffie said, you did great-a with the egg salad," replied Daisy as she did his best not to feel sick; Luigi grabbed a glass from the cupboard and went to the fridge to fix herself some orange juice. Anything to clear herself of any yuckiness.
"Y'know, now I don't have to depend on the neighbors for any decent food," said Yuffie as she let out a happy sigh, smiling with joy while becoming optimistic about Luigi's Thanksgiving dinner.
"Like I said-a last Thanksgiving, practice makes perfect," Luigi remarked in an almost bragging manner, as he opened the oven door to check on the other food that was in the oven. "Told-a you ladies that one day I would..."
All of a sudden, something sparked in Luigi's mind - something that caused the green plumber to stop speaking. Then out of nowhere, Luigi's arms started flailing at the side.
"Are you...having a seizure attack?" Daisy asked Luigi, who was unable to make his arms stop flailing. No matter how hard Luigi tried to resist, it seemed as if his arms had a mind of their own.
"I have to change-a into my clothes!" Luigi randomly shouted, even though he was wearing his overalls already. His mind must nearly be gone. "I mean, I must go upstairs!"
"Sure you aren't having a seizure?" Daisy's fears were slightly diminished, as Luigi stopped falling his arms and went upstairs to his room, oddly skipping along the way. A moment later, Luigi came back down the stairs, his arms acting normal.
"Huh, that was weird." Luigi was left scratching his head, wondering what had gotten into him as he returned to the kitchen. "Felt like I had blanked out!" Daisy remained worried about her spouse, watching as he got back to work.
Dunban: Well, that...that was some strange behavior exhibited by Luigi. Hope that isn't an omen for what's to come. But on the positive side, it's nice that he followed normal cooking instructions for once and didn't ruin his turkey. Lord knows how long I've been giving him pointers. But enough about the Mario Bros - there is another Thanksgiving tradition, and it's one that's been going on for decades. The Detroit Lions and Dallas Cowboys traditionally play on Thanksgiving...and for the first time since forever, the Lions are good!
Pigskins were flying in the air on Thanksgiving - the first time since John F. Kennedy was president, the Detroit Lions were an elite football team. Many fans were used to the Lions being a dormant team year in and year out, so it was a shock to see the team near the top of the league standings.
No one at the mansion was happier about the Lions than the resident Lions fan, Captain Falcon, who often had to hide his Lions fandom. But these days, he didn't have to hide it much longer. As Falcon entered the living room, seeing the mansion residents and guests watch the Lions play the Packers, he shed a happy tear.
"Isn't this great?" Captain Falcon asked those sitting on the living room couch, watching with pride as the Lions scored a touchdown. "To see the Lions be a great team for once?"
"Took them long enough," replied Silver, who was a common fixture in the living room when it came to watching pigskin being tossed on television. "Guess all those years of misery finally paid off!"
"Hey Samus, you see that?" Falco asked the bounty hunter, who was passing through as Falco pointed at the television screen. "That right there is what a good football team looks like. Take a seat on the couch, you might learn something."
"And how are your Falcons doing this year?" countered Samus, knowing that she owned Falco as she smirked. A drop of sweat ran down Falco's face as he looked to Captain Falcon for backup.
"Bruh, Cap, you're a Falcons fan too! Back me up!" Much to Falco's dismay, Captain Falcon refused to offer any assistance as he folded his arms and smiled.
"Me, a Falcons fan? Not this year," said Captain Falcon, as he was only rocking with the Lions this year. He was so confident about the Lions reaching the Super Bowl, that he already bought his Super Bowl tickets!
"See? Told you watching football's more fun with your girlfriend," I-No said to King Dedede, sitting next to her boyfriend on the couch. I-No invited herself over to the mansion, without giving King Dedede a heads-up in advance. "Gonna get some apple juice - be right back."
"I'll make sure no one takes your spot," King Dedede assured I-No, who kissed the fat penguin on the cheek before heading to the kitchen. Shortly after I-No left, King Dedede began tearing up.
"King Dedede, what's gotten into you?" asked Silver, alarmed by how quickly the tears welled up in King Dedede's eyes. The hedgehog even moved a few inches away for good measure.
"Guys, it's the worst...I-No is still in love with me!" King Dedede complained, wanting to cry but not having the manpower to do it. The fat penguin has been down bad ever since his date a few episodes ago.
"I see that as a resounding positive," Captain Falcon offered his take on the situation, failing to understand why King Dedede was so downtrodden. "I-No is super hot...though not as hot as Nowi."
"But she's from the streets! FROM THE STREETS!" King Dedede finally found the urge to shed tears, as he slammed his fists on the floor and began crying. Neither Captain Falcon nor the Mighty Gazelle knew how to sympathize with Dedede's plight.
"I cannot imagine being this upset over having an attractive girlfriend," remarked Gray Fox, as King Dedede shed so many tears that he might even flood the foyer if he wasn't brought to a stop soon.
"Maybe because you're a robot," Falco quipped at Gray Fox, who turned his head to the avian pilot appearing slightly offended. "I'm just messin' with ya."
"I'm a cyborg...but to each their own." Gray Fox felt something holding onto his leg, as he looked down and saw King Dedede hugging his limb while still crying. "Get off of me, you ingrate!"
"Yup, that's what I am - an ingrate!" cried King Dedede as he released his hold on Gray Fox's leg, before crying even more. "An ingrate who fell in love with the wrong woman..."
Toon Link: King Dedede honestly made a great selection in picking out I-No. That lady proved her worth in the biggest way, saving her man from public humiliation. She's a ride-or-die chick, and those kinds of chicks will cling to you no matter what! Dedede better be lucky that he has a woman like that in his life.
"To be honest, I'm amazed that you're still able to score with women to this day," Samus admitted to King Dedede, who was crying so much his eyes were turning red. Feeling no shame, Samus left the living room.
xxx
Following the Packers-Lions game, it was time for the Dallas Cowboys - a.k.a. America's Team - to play the Washington Commanders. As the mansion residents and guests alike watched the game, there was one pressing question on everyone's minds...
"Does anyone honestly still consider the Cowboys to be America's Team?" Fox asked the others, oddly watching the game at the mansion with Falco and not at his own house. He tried to invite Falco over to his home, but Krystal wasn't having it.
"I most certainly do - I do the same for the University of Michigan's football team," replied Lloyd, before breaking into a mindless "USA!" chant that got on everyone's nerves. Somewhere Guile was shedding a manly tear.
"Someone must really hate America..." Dante muttered under his breath, as Samus passed through the living room yet again. Falco saw Samus and sought his opportunity to throw shade at her yet again.
"Look! Samus! An elite football team!" Falco said to the bounty hunter as he pointed at the television screen; Samus saw the Cowboys and barely thought much about them. "Surely more elite than your beloved Chargers."
"Cowboys? Elite? You make me laugh," snorted Samus as she was about to press on...only to gasp when a certain gunslinger entered the living room. No, it wasn't Cole Cassidy...it was John Marston.
"That ain't look like any Cowboy I've ever seen..." remarked Marston as he was looking at the Commanders-Cowboys game, his hands on his belt buckle. "...when did Cowboys start wearing helmets?"
"J-John Marston!" stammered Samus as she ran up to Marston and shook his hand. It was the most exuberant anyone had ever seen her. "I've been wanting to meet you for so long. Huge fan of your work..."
"The pleasure's all mine, ma'am." As Marston shook Samus's hand, he looked past the bounty hunter and mouth to those sitting on the couch, "What is her problem?"
Dunban: To Link and Zelda's surprise, John Marston didn't want to go back home - he wished to stay and be a wandering cowboy, just to make sense of the "crazy new world" he ended up in. As for Captain Falcon, it brought him much joy to see his Lions be good for once; he brags about his team endlessly every Sunday. Makes us grateful when the Lions lose, since we never have to hear a peep.
But moving right along...did you know that there is such a thing as a Brazilian Thanksgiving? Apparently, I didn't. Sonic's friend Amigo was the host of such a feast.
It has been a minute since Sonic and Crash last hung out with Conker. Sonic felt good about confessing his secret "reviving a dead girlfriend" plan to Conker, and no longer felt like walking on eggshells whenever he was around the squirrel. Gave him almost an assured feeling.
Sonic had big plans for Conker on Thanksgiving, and he and Crash stood outside the house Conker was staying at hoping that their squirrel friend wasn't busy. Sonic knocked on the door, waiting for a response.
"I know someone's in there," said a confident Sonic, as his main man Crash was inspecting the driveway - on the ground sniffing the concrete like a dog. "They don't drive a car, Crash. Those three can't be trusted behind the..."
"Woah!" shouted Crash as the garage door was slowly opened; Crash stood up, and Sonic joined the bandicoot in the driveway marveling at the car in the garage. Or rather, the truck.
"No way! It's Guile's truck!" Sonic was slightly puzzled when he saw Guile's truck parked in the garage, and he was even more puzzled when Pac-Man's ghostly friend Orson poked his head out of the car window.
"Howdy fellas!" Orson greeted Sonic and Crash with a wave, as he had the truck running. Had him feeling like the man. "Guess who got a truck for their birthday!"
Orson: Us ghosts don't celebrate birthdays. Only because we don't have 'em! So why did Guile give his truck to me, of all people? *shrugs* Maybe he did it out of the generosity of his heart. Think I even saw him smile when the transaction was made. That puts me in some very rarified company.
"If you're not going to drive that car, the least you can do is shut it off," Jakob said to Orson as he entered the garage from the house, visibly annoyed by the sound of the truck's engine. Doing as he was told, Orson turned off the ignition.
"Uh oh, here comes Mr. Grumpy Pants looking to give his two cents on everything!" Sonic jokingly mocked, as Crash openly mocked Jakob by pretending to look miserable while walking around in place. Jakob was barely amused.
"Mr. Grumpy Pants, I am not! I was just irritated, that's all. Orson can back me up on this." But Orson wouldn't back Jakob up on anything, as he eyed around the garage cautiously.
"I dunno...you did complain about those little kids running a lemonade stand at the front of our house," Orson said to Jakob, besmirching the butler as Crash gasped out of shock. Sonic, meanwhile, shook his head.
"They were charging $2.50 per glass. $2.50! That is way too cheap for a glass of lemonade if you ask me." Jakob came off as bourgeoisie there - no doubt that Berkut would probably share a similar sentiment.
"Jakob being a child hater...not the biggest breaking news that I've heard," Sonic expressed his disappointment with Jakob, as he and Crash continued to be displeased with the butler. Jakob didn't care what the two friends thought of him.
"Not a child hater - I'm more of a realist. But I must ask, what is the reason why are you here, Sonic?" The very reason would soon reveal itself, as Conker entered the garage and saw Orson's new truck.
"Ha! You still look goofy sittin' in that truck," Conker pointed and laughed at Orson, slightly damaging the ghost's confidence, before seeing Sonic and Crash in the driveway. "Sonic, Crash! Howdy fellas!"
"Sup Conker!" greeted Sonic, as Conker came over to the hedgehog and Crash for a friendly embrace. One that consisted mostly of fist bumps. "So, got any big plans for today?"
"Other than reading Jakob's diary, not really." Conker got Jakob to blush, as he had the butler look away. Conker was left smiling. "I know you got a secret lover, Jakob..."
"Cool, because I got quite the treat for ya!" Sonic took out a flyer and revealed it to Conker, who was greatly allured as his eyes went wide with intrigue.
"Dia de Ação de Graças?" Conker read the flyer, and according to the information below it was set to take place at the Omnis Adest community center. In front and center of the flyer was an orange monkey that was wielding maracas.
"That's right! And it's gonna be hosted by my old friend, Amigo! He's the dude who hosted that samba class we went to in August." The flyer was soon snatched out of Sonic's hands by Crash, who proceeded to eat the flyer without a single warning.
"Can I come to this...Dia de Gracias, or whatever?" Orson asked Sonic as he turned off the truck's ignition, anticipating Sonic to answer yes. Judging by his face, however, Sonic was leaning towards no.
"You have arms and no legs...so no limbs, no service, no food." Distraught by Sonic turning him down, Orson lowered his head in sadness with his forehead resting against the steering wheel.
"Do you plan on inviting anybody else other than Conker?" inquired Jakob, and that got Sonic thinking as a certain angel came to mind...
xxx
A kickball game took place in the front yard of the mansion last Thanksgiving, and another one was taking place this year. Pit was one of those playing, and was at the plate as B.D. Joe was the server.
"Mama needs a new pair of sneakers!" said B.D. Joe as he rolled the ball down to Pit, who was eyeing the ball before making his move.
"WAKANDA FOREVER!" shouted Pit as he kicked the ball and ran for first base...only for the ball to be caught by a member of the opposing team. Amusingly enough, it was caught by Dark Pit.
"Like I told you, shouting random crap from the MCU won't get you anywhere," Dark Pit said to Pit, who was now out; Pit stomped his foot in failure as he sat on the bench.
"Chin up, Pit, you'll get the next one," encouraged Nemona, the person that Pit was sitting next to, as she patted Pit on the back. Pit wouldn't be sad for long...
"Pit!" Sonic shouted the angel's name from afar, as the blue hedgehog sped to the front yard. "How's my favorite part-time barista doing?"
"I'm doing alright, what's up?" asked Pit, and that's when Sonic slammed Amigo's flyer down on the bench surface. A whole lot of saliva was on it.
"Yuck! Get that away from me!" yelled Nemona as she held herself from the flyer, which Pit picked up and took a gander at. Even with all the saliva, Pit could still make out the flyer's details.
"Don't mind the slobber - I had to fish that out of Crash's throat," Sonic said to Pit, before shuddering as that was one experience the blue hedgehog did not wish to relive. "It was gross..."
"Huh, I've never been to a Dia de Ação de Graças dinner before," remarked Pit, as he saw Amigo on the flyer and remembered him from samba class. Pit wondered if Amigo secretly did drugs in his downtime. "Can I wear that fit I had on to the samba class?"
"You wore something ABBA-inspired, so no. Heck, do you even know any ABBA songs?" There was one song that Pit knew, but as he opened his mouth Sonic would later shut him down. "No, that one doesn't count."
Pit: "Because we built Gwen's face..." Yeah, that's the only ABBA song that I know. I think it's a cover.
xxx
The Omnis Adest community center was the host of a Brazilian Thanksgiving feast, and the excitable monkey known as Amigo was the host. Sonic, Crash, and Conker - along with Pit and his friends Kirby, Incineroar, and Viridi - arrived at their destination and saw that the feast was already underway.
"Shake, shake, shake, Senora!" exclaimed the samba-loving monkey, Amigo, as the monkey was shaking his maracas to the music played while his party guests were simply enjoying their food. "Shake that body line!"
"Yo, Amigo! Look who made it!" Sonic called out to the monkey, as he and the fellas stood at the doorway. Amigo was grooving too much to temporarily stop.
"¡Hola, Sonic! Welcome to our Dia de Ação de Graça feast! I see that you've brought your amigos. Ready to shake things up?"
"You bet! We're always up for some...grub." Sonic would trail off as he looked over and saw his main man Tails, sitting at the table eating some turkey. With Coco sitting right next to him.
"Hi, Crash! Hi, Sonic!" Coco waved to the bandicoot and hedgehog, as Pit and Conker were both ignored. Coco didn't seem to like them nearly as much. Sonic, meanwhile, was focused on Tails.
"She tricked me into joining," Tails explained to Sonic with a sheepish smile; Sonic shook his head before he and the fellas took their seats.
Sonic: He said that he wouldn't be able to make it to Amigo's dinner...never believe a man when he's in love.
"Random dance party! Let's party it up!" exclaimed Amigo as he turned up the party tunes; the monkey shook his maracas and swayed his hips to the rhythm of the samba music. Much to Amigo's chagrin, nobody was dancing.
"I can't move my hips too much, it makes me feel pretty," Conker stated as he remained seated, helping himself to some dressing. The squirrel caught Pit getting up from his seat and challenging Amigo to a dance battle. "Pit, what move is that?"
"WE BUILT GWEN'S FACE!" Pit bellowed at the top of his lungs, trying to show up Amigo by doing some ABBA-inspired dance moves. "And we're gonna take first place!"
"You're doing great!" Amigo said to Pit as he couldn't help but chuckle at the angel's own version of samba. ABBA-inspired samba. "But please try to match the rhythm!"
xxx
The Dia de Ação de Graça feast was chugging right along at the Omnis Adest community center, as Amigo and his students alike were having fun. However, no one was having more fun than Owain.
"I am Owain, and I am HIM!" proclaimed Owain as he proceeded to eat his turkey leg, taking a huge bite out of it. The myrmidon then offered his leg to the person he was sitting next to, Rosalina. "Help yourself, Rosalina!"
"No thank you, I have my own turkey leg," Rosalina kindly responded, but that didn't stop Owain from bringing his turkey leg close to the mother of Lumas's mouth. Rosalina had to give Owain the hand.
Researcher Zelda: Rosalina wanted to attend Amigo's Thanksgiving dinner, and part of the reason why was so she could avoid Owain. Hope everything works out.
"Dance with me, my sweet Rosa!" Owain said to Rosalina as he took her hands and brought her up on the table. Owain was dancing on the table and wanted the awkward-looking Rosalina to follow suit. "My hips do not lie!"
"Watch the food, watch the food!" Amigo called out to Owain, making sure that the turkey wasn't touched. Owain was mindful of the turkey and the other food items as he moved his feet to the music.
"Witness the grand finale of my samba waltz!" Commanding an entire audience, Owain broke free from Rosalina and leaped up in the air. When the myrmidon landed...he did a painful split that had Owain grimacing in pain.
"Oof...that's gotta hurt," Sonic winced in sympathy for Owain, who was left screaming in pain as he rolled off of the table. Rosalina looked at Owain momentarily, before getting down and simply sitting back down in her chair.
Dunban: Poor Owain...he split his legs so hard, he couldn't walk upright! Had to be escorted out of the community center. Amigo wasn't the only person having his own dinner on Thanksgiving, for there was another festive feast held at Omnis Adest. It was held by some gents who joined the community back in September. These two words will clue you in on who they are...Mortal. Kombat.
In anticipation of the Thanksgiving meal later on, Ryu forfeited breakfast to do some training in the training room, throwing punches at a sandbag. Wanted to stay in top form before mingling with the others, especially Chun-li. However, little did Ryu know that there would be another Thanksgiving dinner taking place.
"Job's far from finished," said Ryu after a grueling training session, before pointing at the sandbag that he knocked door to the floor with his mighty fist. "I will be back for you later, after the party. Mark my words."
"Ryu, Ryu!" Ken shouted his rival's name as he ran inside the training room; in the fighter's hand was an envelope, an invitation of sorts. "Did you ever get something like this in the mail?"
"Let me see." Snatching the envelope from Ken, Ryu took out what appeared to be a party invite. Squinting his eyes, Ryu made out the handwriting...
To the foolish mortal who received this invite (otherwise known as Ken Masters)
You have been cordially invited to our Thanksgiving breakfast and meal at Omnis Adest.
The address is listed below...be there, or DIE!
From, Scorpion
(P.S. Light refreshments are always welcome.)
"This is inconceivable..." uttered Ryu as he lowered the invite in his hand, almost dropping it to the floor in absolute disbelief. "...how can one man's handwriting be so bad?!"
"Can you believe it? Scorpion is inviting us over for Thanksgiving!" exclaimed Ken, as he had been waiting to announce the big news to Ryu. He was so excited that he just couldn't hide it.
"Does he not know good penmanship? How unbefitting for a legendary fighter of his caliber!" Ryu remained stuck on Scorpion's questionable handwriting, which tarnished his personal view of Scorpion - but not that much.
"Who knows, Liu Kang finally moved in with him too! He was supposed to be in town months ago!" Ken was so excited, that he hardly noticed Ryu not paying any attention to him.
"And how did you get an invite over me? No offense, but when people think of Street Fighter, I usually come to mind first!"
"Well, for what it's worth...Guile got an invite too!" That didn't make Ryu feel any better, as spite was building up inside of him.
xxx
Ryu and Ken both went to Omnis Adest, to attend a party that was held by a few Mortal Kombat characters. Neither man knew what to expect as they arrived at the address, and heard...loud party music from inside.
"You sure this is the right house?" Ryu asked Ken, as he saw Shulk and Fiora enter the townhouse. "The music sounds too upbeat!"
"C'mon man, it's Techno Syndrome!" smiled Ken, as the pulsating beat of Techno Syndrome echoed through the neighborhood. Mortal Kombat sure didn't miss when it came to its music selection.
"Still too upbeat for my liking..." Already becoming a party pooper, Ryu followed Ken to the townhouse; Ken knocked on the door, and it was opened by a movie star wearing sunglasses.
"Here's Johnny! And Happy Thanksgiving!" the movie star greeted with a great exclamation as if he was doing the opening for The Johnny Carson Show. Ryu and Ken both recognized this movie star as Johnny Cage, Mortal Kombat's resident comic relief guy.
"Well, well, if it isn't Johnny Cage!" grinned Ken, before looking past Johnny and seeing the place jumping in the living room. Many folks from the mansion, tower, and Omnis Adest were present. "Having a party this time of day?"
"Breakfast party. It was my idea. Had to talk the other guys into doing it. And my wife, as well." Johnny soon took sight of Ryu, as he lowered his glasses to get a better look at him. "Nice of you to tag along, Ryu!"
"What do you mean by 'tag along?'" Ryu questioned Johnny, who turned his head back as he beckoned someone to come over. In addition to being a party pooper, Ryu was now incredibly salty.
"Sonya! Babe! Ken and Ryu are here!" Johnny called out to someone, and a blonde woman later joined Johnny at the door. It was Sonya Blade - Johnny's wife and a special forces officer. Needless to say, she was hardly impressed by Ryu and Ken.
"Just what we needed...more lousy macho men," commented Sonya as she walked away from the day, with Johnny giving Ryu and Ken a very sheepish smile afterward.
Johnny: Aside from usual suspects like Sub-Zero and Scorpion, my wife was the hardest person to convince. She was the first person to hear about my breakfast party suggestion. Tried convincing her that the guys were all for it, and then she scoffed and said something about "men" before just walking off! Imagine using the word "men" as an insult in 2023. Heh...
"Come inside!" Johnny beckoned to Ryu and Ken as we welcomed the two fighters inside. The breakfast party was...rather loud, coming with usual party perks such as party music and even a punch bowl. Standing next to this punch bowl was Mortal Kombat veteran Sub-Zero.
"I indulge you three to try my Sub-Zero special punch - the Frozen Fist!" Sub-Zero tried to entice the trio of Roxas, Axel, and Xion, bringing their attention to the punch bowl. "It's guaranteed to make you freeze with delight!"
"Is it safe to consume?" questioned Roxas as he eyed the drink suspiciously, not liking how the punch looked. It was colored dark blue...and it was way too dark for Roxas's liking.
"Absolutely. There will be no fatalities here..." After letting out a light-hearted chuckle, Sub-Zero leaned in close to Roxas and started at the Nobody with menacing eyes. "...but that can always be changed."
"Uh, th-that punch looks delicious, I oughta try some!" Roxas was scared straight as he took a cup and poured some punch into it. The Nobody was visibly afraid as he kept looking up at Sub-Zero, who was keeping watch with his arms folded.
"That Sub-Zero guy is a lot more scary than he seems," Xion quietly remarked to Axel, as Sub-Zero watched Roxas cautiously sip the punch. Wasn't until Roxas was finished that Sub-Zero finally looked away.
"Hey, check that out," smiled Axel as he pointed at Waluigi, who was walking around shirtless. In the morning, no less. Waluigi was sipping some apple juice and eating a doughnut when he accidentally bumped into Scorpion.
"Who goes there?" Scorpion questioned as he turned around at Waluigi, under the guise that Waluigi bumped into him on purpose. Even on Thanksgiving, Scorpion was still looking for a fight.
"It was an accident, sir! I'm sorry!" Waluigi apologized, for he did not want the smoke - especially with Scorpion. Scorpion could easily destroy Waluigi with a hand tied behind his back.
"An accident? Ha! How foolish of you to expect me to believe that. You did that on purpose so that you could challenge me to a fight!"
"A fight...or a dance battle?" Waluigi spun around and struck a pose, his finger pointing in the air, as Scorpion was far from impressed. "Think we can keep up with my moves, hot stuff?"
"He is so dead," remarked one of the guests, Ike, as Scorpion was bridling with rage. The breakfast party was momentarily paused as Scorpion was screaming at the top of his lungs.
"NOBODY EVER CALLS ME HOT STUFF!" bellowed Scorpion, before throwing a punch at Waluigi's face. But much to the surprise of Scoprion, and everybody else, Waluigi dodged the attack.
"Missed me, hot stuff," Waluigi taunted Scorpion, enraging the fighter enough to make him throw a second punch. Waluigi did a matrix move as he dodged the punch, and almost broke his back in the process.
"Waluigi, are you okay?" the male Wii Fit Trainer asked the lanky man, who managed to avoid serious injury by standing back in an upright position. Waluigi felt some slight pain in his lower back, but at least nothing was broken!
"Never better," replied a confident Waluigi, whose confidence was later shaken when Scorpion punched him square in the face. Waluigi was sent flying across the living room, crashing through a wall.
"That required more effort than what was needed," Scorpion remarked after his flawless victory, as he dusted off his hands. The breakfast party quickly resumed, as no one seemed to care enough about Waluigi's well-being.
"Scorpion! It is I, Ryu!" Ryu called out to Scorpion, glass in hand as he tipped his glass to the Mortal Kombat veteran. Scorpion just looked at Ryu for a brief second or two, before walking off.
"Sheesh! What was up with that?" Ken asked Ryu, also holding a glass in his hand as he approached his friendly rival. Ryu was feeling some type of way if he hadn't already.
"I don't know, it's almost as if...everyone is giving me the cold shoulder." Ryu was already contemplating leaving the party - but was willing to hold out longer if it meant making Ken happy.
xxx
Thanksgiving dinner had begun at the Mortal Kombat townhouse, and the Mortal Kombat fighters were mingling with their guests at the table. Out of the fighters, Scorpion was the one who gained the most attention, much to his chagrin. And it was all because of his one famous line...
"Say it, Scorpion! Say the line!" Diddy Kong egged on the fighter, as he and everyone else ate their food. Several folks had their phones out, waiting for the big moment to arrive.
"I'm not saying it," Scorpion said with his arms folded while wearing a turkey party hat atop his head. Johnny begged him to wear one to make him look "friendly".
"C'mon, you gotta say it," said Doc Louis, as the constant requests to hear the famous line were starting to get to Scorpion. "Do it for us. Do it, for the Culture!"
"I despise the Culture." But then something triggered Scorpion - something that was in the kitchen. It was Waluigi, whom Scorpion caught drinking out of a mug. But not just any mug...it was his mug, colored in black and yellow and all.
"Drinking a cocktail in this mug strangely hits different," remarked Waluigi, who had taken multiple sips in Scorpion's mug. It was one sip too many, as Scorpion was bridling with rage.
"GET OVER HERE!" Finally, Scorpion said the classic line - the fighter threw his kunai at Waluigi, hooking the lanky man and reeling him in. Scorpion then threw Waluigi down onto the floor, as the crowd cheered.
"He said it, he said the line!" cheered Gex, jumping up and down as Scorpion stood over a downed Waluigi. Waluigi avoided hurting his back earlier, but this time he wasn't as fortunate.
Waluigi: I do a bunch of fly dance moves, and nobody cheers. But Scorpion kicks my butt, and everyone and their mother goes crazy! Why can't I get the same kind of love? Wah, wah! Wah, I say!
Gerudo Ganon: *walking by* Sweet mother of Hylia, you sound like a baby...
"Try my Frozen Fist punch," Sub-Zero offered to Ken, pushing a cup full of his punch towards the fighter. "It's guaranteed to chill even the hottest of fighters!" Taking Sub-Zero's word for it, Ken grabbed the cup and took a sip, shivering.
"Brr...it's like an ice shower in my mouth!" Ken gave his critique on the punch, alluring Sub-Zero greatly by referring to one of his special moves. That's how you get on Sub-Zero's good side.
"My icy concoctions are quite the hit, I'll say." Soon Sub-Zero saw Ryu come over to him with an empty cup, and he furrowed his brow.
"This party is very much to my liking," Ryu said to Sub-Zero, trying to act cordial as he held his cup wanting some punch for himself. Sub-Zero kept furrowing his brow as Ryu awkwardly walked away.
"Pardon me sir, but can I have your autograph?" Slippy Toad asked one of the Mortal Kombat veterans, Liu Kang; Liu was honored that Slippy was asking him, of all people, for an autograph.
"As you wish, young amphibian," replied Liu Kang, as he accepted the ink pen from Slippy and signed the autograph. Liu handed the autograph to Slippy, who frowned. "Something wrong?"
"No...it's alright, it's alright." But it was not alright, as a disappointed Slippy got out of his seat to throw away his autograph. What made the frog so upset?
Slippy: What is it with him screwing up his name? I mean, it's nice that he could attend dinner, but you at least gotta know who you are! *sighs* This is so unlike Bruce Lee...made the same mistake last time.
Tossing away his autograph in the bathroom and returning to the table, Slippy wouldn't get that far when came across someone whose presence caused him to gasp. Standing before him was a DC superhero in the flesh, clad with a silver helmet.
"OMG! IT'S PEACEMAKER!" Slippy squealed with joy as he hopped over to Peacemaker and gave him a big, fat hug. Peacemaker seemed to know Slippy from the jump, as he was greatly annoyed beyond words.
"Let go of me this instant..." Peacemaker said to Slippy, and he sounded an awful lot like Guile...in fact, it was Guile! "This is your first and only warning, Slippy."
"You already know my name?! This is so cool! Best party EVER!" Slippy hugged Guile tightly, as Guile did everything in his power to throw the frog off of him. Johnny was looking on, amused.
"I warned him that he would be a huge attraction in that get-up," Johnny had this to say about Guile, as he was speaking to Sonya. Sonya didn't care as she sipped her drink.
"Provided that you're actually John Cena, may I have your autograph?" Slippy asked Guile, who felt a vein pulsating in his forehead as he kept his cool.
"I'm afraid not, for I am not John Cena," stated Guile, but that wasn't enough to convince Slippy and the frog laughed his butt off. Slippy couldn't be fooled that easily...or so he thought.
"You're right - maybe it's because we can all see you." Slippy was frankly the only person laughing at his joke, as Guile still had his stoic visage. Not a single funny bone in Guile whatsoever.
Dunban: It has yet to be explained why the Mortal Kombat characters don't like Ryu as much, compared to Ken. Maybe they don't vibe with Ryu because of his personality - but some of them aren't known for having much personality themselves. And what was with Guile dressed up as Peacemaker? Was he trying to lay low or something?
Orson was in the driveway, cleaning his new truck with a cloth. Jakob was looking on with arms behind his back, while on the lookout for someone.
"The Nohrians promised to invite me over for Thanksgiving dinner," Jakob said to Orson, as he was looking down the street for anyone that was adorned in white and black. "They shouldn't keep me waiting."
"Good for you," responded Orson, who was done cleaning as he smiled at his reflection on the truck. That smile faded, however, when he saw red-and-blue flashing lights. "Is that the police...?"
"...time for me to head back in." Overwhelmed by feelings of deja vu, Jakob rushed back inside the house and closed all the window blinds and curtains. Orson was scared stiff, as a flurry of police cars pulled up with policemen getting out and drawing their guns.
"Hands up where we can see them!" one of the police officers yelled at Orson, who put his hands up in the air as he looked understandably nervous. "We have you surrounded! Back away from the truck!"
Dunban: Oh well, I'm sure whatever it is, it isn't that important. Now there's another Thanksgiving dinner I'd like to touch on, and this one was organized by Wario. He invited his employees to town, and he had very big plans for them...
Wario rented out an empty townhouse at Omnis Adest for his own Thanksgiving dinner, and all but one of his employees were in attendance - Mona, Jimmy T, Orbulon, Dr. Crygor, Penny Crygor, 9-Volt, 18-Volt, 5-Volt, Dribble, Spitz, Kat, Ana, Young Cricket, and Master Mantis. Ashley was the only person absent.
"Ashley, you're late!" Wario frowned at the young witch, who entered the townhouse and saw everyone already gathered. Wario couldn't start until Ashley showed up. "What took you so long?"
"Thanksgiving knitting club meeting...that, and Pac-Man trying to escape from us," replied Ashley as she took her seat in an available chair next to Wario. Mona sat on the opposite side.
Pac-Man: No matter what I do, I can never escape from those knitting club dorks. I try telling my wife, and she tells me to solve my own problems. I try telling Master Hand, and he goes on and on about how he's not my parent. One time I complained so much, that the knitting club deemed me as "mentally unstable" and had me admitted to the same psych ward that Cloud went to. And they got away with it! How were the others fine with that kind of behavior?
Roy: *from afar* Uh oh, sounds like someone is being mentally unstable again! Do I need to call the psych ward?
Pac-Man: WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON, MAN?! I'm done... *storms off, as Roy enters the frame seconds later*
Roy: *nods his head* I stand corrected.
"First off, I just wanna say...I love you guys," Wario said to his employees as he wrapped his arms around Mona and Ashley. Mona appreciated the gesture, while Ashley was dangerously close to pulling out her wand.
"We love you too, Wario!" exclaimed the sycophantic Orbulon, who became perturbed that Ashley wasn't echoing a similar sentiment as evidenced by her frown. Very sour behavior from the young witch. "Ashley, don't you love Wario?"
"Love is too strong of a word for me," replied Ashley, who had removed several other words from her lexicon that made her feel all mushy inside. Some people just loved being soulless.
"I appreciate you guys for being part of WarioWare, Inc," Wario carried on, as Ashley looked up to the heavens wondering when the lovefest would end. "You guys are some the best losers around! Except you, Mona, you're no loser..."
"Great to hear that, boss!" smiled 18-Volt, pleased to know that he always had an awesome boss in Wario. 18-Volt then looked at Ashley, waiting for her to say something.
"What can we say, we do our best," Ashley responded in a deadpan tone, a tone that was too deadpan even by her standards. Wario made a mental note to speak with Ashley later about her lack of empathy.
"Appreciate it, Ashley," Wario thanked the young witch, ready to get his dinner started as he took a leg off of the turkey. "But enough talk. Let's dig in!"
xxx
The WarioWare Thanksgiving meal was going swimmingly so far, save for Wario hogging the food. (The stuffing was a prime example.) Midway through the meal, Wario took out a blueprint and laid it on the table.
"Is that...?" inquired Mona as all eyes were on the blueprint, with everyone taking a gander as they stopped stuffing their mouths.
"Yup, sure is - the blueprint for the new machine that I promised," replied Wario, who had mentioned something about a machine in that dinner invite he sent to his employees. "My idea, my brilliant idea. We're building it together, and by we, I mean everyone except me!"
"What even is the name of this machine?" Ashley asked Wario, who was hoping that Ashley wouldn't throw a flurry of questions at him. Interrogation was one of Wario's least favorite things. "What does it do?"
"Dr. Crygor! Give Ashley the details," Wario commanded the cyborg scientist, who was the head of the project; Crygor did all the blueprints and stuff, while Wario happily took all the credit.
"This machine, it's called...the Something...Inator...5000," replied Dr. Crygor, very unsure of the name as he was scratching his noggin. "And it does...it does something!" Seems on-brand for a machine dubbed the Something Inator 5000.
Dr. Crygor: Wario, with his shrewd negotiation skills, convinced Master Hand and Anna that we employees deserve a spot at Omnis Adest. All he did was tell them that we could put our minds together to build a machine to counter that Dimentio pest! Not only does Wario want the machine to be a success, but he also wants it to make him money. Not sure which objective he's prioritizing the most.
"An inator, huh?" Kat questioned Wario, not impressed by the machine at first glance - though Wario imagined that would change over time. "Are you gonna bring up some stupid sob story from your childhood to justify this machine's existence?"
"Also, will a platypus wearing a brown fedora swoop in and destroy the machine?" asked Ana; that platypus could also be a panda, chihuahua, or even a turtle. As long as they were wearing a brown fedora, they could easily be a threat.
"No, and no," replied Wario, before taking a sip of his wine in one hand and eating his turkey leg in the other. "I just want this machine to be big, flashy, and maybe even make it rain!"
"So really, you want this machine to be a weather machine," inferred Orbulon, completely misunderstanding Wario; he would pay for it, as Wario grabbed his plate and threw it at Orbulon's head.
"If the machine works, then my friends get to stay," Wario explained to Ashley, highly optimistic about the machine working to its fullest potential. "And if not...well, I can just take Mona with me."
"This machine could use some funky vibes, some boogie-woogie. Booty scoot!" exclaimed Jimmy T, performing Marth's favorite dance - the infamous booty scoot. The dancer got up and performed the dance move.
"Oh my..." uttered 5-Volt as she shielded 9-Volt's eyes with her hands; 9-Volt took his mother's hands away so that he could watch Jimmy T's booty scoot in action.
"JIMMY!" Wario growled at Jimmy T, who was dancing to his heart's content as if disco music was playing in his head. Jimmy T. stopped dancing when he caught sight of Wario.
"Uh, I got carried away by accident," Jimmy T. nervously explained himself as he sat back down, eating his food as if nothing ever happened. Dribble laughed at Jimmy T. as he ate his turkey leg...but then he looked out the window and saw something that made him drop his meat.
"Uh, Spitz...I think I see an alien," Dribble whispered to his feline friend, as he made out an alien hovering in his spaceship through the window. It was Oxide.
"An alien? Where?" Spitz asked turning his head to the window Dribble pointed at, and Oxide flew away just in time to avoid being caught. "I don't see an alien anywhere!"
"But he was right there! He was ugly and green, and uh...and he was mostly ugly! You gotta believe me!" But Spitz did not believe Dribble, thinking that his friend had gone insane.
"Ai yai yai..we've run into so many aliens, that you're starting to hallucinate them. Try laying off on the coffee, will ya?"
"I saw him...he was in that spot..." Dribble was certain that he saw Oxide, his arm shaking as he was still pointing. Holding sympathy for his friend, Spitz went back to his meal.
Spitz: Dribble and I have seen different kinds of aliens. Dancing aliens, alien bunnies, aliens that disguise themselves as pretty young girls, and even aliens that wear sunglasses because they think that somehow makes them cool. *pauses* Aw man, I just described Orbulon...please delete this footage!
Dribble: You saw that, you saw that right? Saw that alien too?...You did?! Haha! Knew I wasn't crazy! Spitz is living in denial, that's his problem. Sometimes the truth scares him. You tell him that he can't have raw fish, and he'll...
Wario: Dribble, quit hiding in the bathroom like a ninny! Get back to the table!
Dribble: *salutes Wario* Aye aye, captain! *faces camera* This will be our little secret...
Dunban: Is it fine if I cover another Thanksgiving tradition? This one is home to the Smash Mansion, and it involves a Koopa King and his...no, no, the List of Bowser is no more! Bowser burned that thing to ashes last year. He has discovered a new niche, and he's going to take it out on the folks at Omnis Adest.
Bowser embarked on a new annual Thanksgiving tradition, as he retired his List of Bowser and focused on roasting people on Thanksgiving day. And with a chock full of people Omnis Adest, there were plenty of roasts to be had. Adorned in his black turtleneck, Bowser went to Omnis Adest as the community center was his first stop.
"Hope to get some easy pickings," said Bowser shortly after entering the community center, as he rubbed his hands together in anticipation. The Koopa King came to a stop as he saw the director of Naranja Acadamy, Clavell speaking with a blonde woman. Two students accompanied the woman, and both appeared to be young Pokemon trainers.
"I entrust that the remaining Blueberry Academy students will join in December, correct?" Clavell asked the blonde woman, who just so happened to be a teacher at Blueberry Academy.
"Once they are done with their school projects, they will move in," replied the blonde woman, whose name was Blair; the students were Carmine and Kieran, and they were both siblings.
"We'll let them sleep in the sleeping bags in the living room," remarked Carmine, and it was hard for anyone to determine if she was joking or not. "Right, Kiki?" Carmine looked down at Kieran, who was too nervous to respond.
"I dunno...that sounds pretty mean-spirited," Kieran meekly replied, as Clavell and Blair both laughed; however, Carmine did not.
"C'mon, Kiki! You're supposed to be on my side." Carmine was so upset that she clenched her fists, but she calmed down a second later.
"I can tell that the siblings get along just fine," Clavell smiled, only to look over and see Bowser creeping closer to the group. Bowser was caught red-handed as he came to a stop. "Ah, if it isn't King Bowser."
"Clavell, you're unhip and your students think that you're not cool. Boom, roasted," Bowser roasted the school director, who could only grin as he pushed up his glasses with his finger. Bowser's eyes were then drawn to Blair. "Also, who's your girlfriend?"
"This, Bowser, is Briar - she is an instructor at the Blueberry Academy. She was kind enough to lend two of her best students to this wonderful community."
"...so is she your girlfriend, or not? Ah, forget about it..." Believing that Clavell was too chicken to answer his question, Bowser shifted his focus to the students before him. His first victim? Carmine.
"Try me, I dare you," the unmovable Carmine challenged Bowser, with enough thick skin to handle what Bowser said about her. Bowser didn't like anyone who wasn't a soft target, so he had to get Carmine good.
"Your hair looks stupid, with that hair sticking out between your eyes. Boom, roasted," Bowser said to Carmine, knowing that it wasn't his best roast; Carmine was barely unfettered.
"That was kinda weak, not going to lie," Kieran said to Carmine, as even he thought that Bowser's roast of his older sister wasn't it. Bowser felt ashamed as he had to get out of dodge.
"Your hair ain't it, chief - no cap!" Bowser said these parting words to Carmine as he left, hoping that the Pokemon trainer would forget the exchange that occurred. Clavell looked at Bowser with a finger underneath his chin, impressed by the Koopa King's use of slang...
xxx
Omnis Adest received new inhabitants earlier in the week, in Tidus, Yuna, and Wakka. Master Hand had been meaning to add them for quite some time. Bowser encountered Tidus and Wakka during their early afternoon stroll and wanted to let them know how he felt about them.
"Tidus, your laugh and stupid, and Wakka, your voice is stupid," Bowser said to Tidus and Wakka, who had nothing much to say in retaliation - probably because Bowser got them good. "Boom roasted, the both of you."
"Your turtleneck is stupid," Tidus clapped back at Bowser, hitting the Koopa King in a sensitive spot; it was Bowser's favorite item in his wardrobe.
"How dare you! Dr. Eggman bestowed it upon me! GRAAAAH!" Bowser threw a wicked punch at a mailbox, sending it flying across the street. Soon Bomberman showed up, and he was...colored black, for some reason. A black Bomberman.
"Our mailbox!" the black Bomberman exclaimed as he looked at the spot where the mailbox once was. He turned to Bowser, for he knew that the Koopa King was the man responsible. "What have you done?!"
"It's just a mailbox; you can always get a new one." Bowser was acting rather casual about the act he had done, and it made the black Bomberman even more agitated. Though to be fair, Bowser had that same attitude for committing his other crimes - such as jaywalking.
Bowser: Whuzzat? It's considered a federal crime to destroy a mailbox? My first time hearing about this. So all those years I've spent vandalizing people's mailboxes, I never had to do time or pay a stupid fine! Shows ya just how awesome I truly am.
"Black Bomber, what happened?" asked Bomberman as he raced out of the townhouse to investigate the scene. "Where did our mailbox go?" Bowser saw the original Bomberman and the black one, acting as if he was seeing double.
"Bomberman? You know this poser?" asked Wakka as he pointed at the black Bomberman; understanding Wakka's confusion, Bomberman laughed as he slapped his knee.
"I am NOT a poser!" the black Bomberman clapped back at Bowser, before getting irritated by Bomberman laughing in his presence. "And stop laughing, you!"
"Of course, I know him - this is one of my siblings, Black Bomber." Apparently, Wakka and Tidius didn't know Bomberman had siblings of any kind until now. "He claims to be the best around."
"Because I am the best around. Also, I don't like girls - just wanted to make that known." Despite not liking girls, Black Bomber struck a pose as he winked at Cynthia who was walking by.
"Don't try me..." Cynthia threatened Black Bomber as she reached for her Poke Ball; Black Bomber was intimidated enough to stop posing in an instant.
"Why don't I show you the rest of my siblings?" Bomberman offered to Tidus and Wakka, before whistling into his fingers...erm, his hand. On command, Bomberman's other siblings filed out of the townhouse and joined their brother outside.
"Your mom must've been one busy lady," remarked Tidus, as he counted seven of Bomberman's siblings in total including Black Bomber. "I'd love to see her child-bearing hips!"
"I don't think we ever had a..." Black Bomber was about to say, only for Bomberman to sheepishly cover his mouth. Black Bomber's attempts at speaking were muffled by Bomberman's hands.
"We're siblings in name - I'll say that much," stated Bomberman, wanting to avoid any possible questioning - but thanks to Black Bomber's mouth, the damage was already done.
"ROASTING TIME!" shouted Bowser, as he was about to deliver some rapid-fire roasts to Bomberman's siblings. It was about to be a murderer's row. "Which one of you wants to go first?"
"Bowser, we meet yet again," Clavell approached the Koopa King, who forced himself to look at the school director. "I have a pressing question to ask of you."
"Lord give me all the strength..." Bowser said as he looked up at the heavens, before looking at Clavell. "...get lost, buddy." Clavell would've left without a fuss, but he was determined to ask his question.
"One question is all I'm asking of you. You seem to know a lot about modern slang...so what does the term no cap mean?" At first, Bowser was against answering, but then he smiled evilly as he hatched up a dastardly plan.
"No cap is just the cool kids' way of saying 'just kidding'. Tell somebody a joke, and then say 'no cap' at the end. It's that easy!"
"Hmm, that explains a lot. Thank you for imparting me with your knowledge, Bowser." On that note, Clavell ran off, as Bowser still had that same evil smile.
xxx
Hilda, in her most humble opinion, was one of the prettiest women to ever step foot at Omnis Adest, if not the prettiest. So naturally, whenever the commoner saw her reflection in a pond or any other body of water, she couldn't help but stare and admire.
"Should be illegal to be this darn cute!" smiled Hilda after admiring her reflection in a small pond for about five minutes, as Clavell passed by. Clavell wanted to put his slang knowledge to use and found Hilda to be the perfect recipient.
"Looking rather grotesque today," Clavell said to Hilda as he pointed at the commoner and winked at her. "No cap." Hilda was greatly bothered as she gave Clavell the stink eye.
"Didn't know that today was Opposite Day..." Bothered by Clavell randomly speaking to her, Hidla hurried away from the small pond as Clavell was left wondering what he had done wrong.
"Her self-esteem seems to be pretty low." When Clavell ventured from the small pond, he came across Bowser yet again, speaking with two of the newer members of Omnis Adest - Claude C. Kenny and Rena Lanford. They joined earlier this month.
"Claude, you're just a regular dude...you're lame. Boom, roasted," Bowser said to Claude, before turning his attention to Claude's lady friend Rena. "As for you, Rena, you failed medical school. Boom, roasted."
"I'm still a good healer, though," stated Rena, refusing to let Bowser's roast deter her or throw her off her game.
"So you like to play a lot of RPG games, good for you!" Bowser applauded Rena, who exchanged looks with Claude as the friends wondered if Bowser's applause was sardonic or not. Quite hard to tell.
"He's got some major issues," Claude whispered to Rena, who nodded in agreement as Clavell approached Bowser and company.
"You two would make for a miserable couple," Clavell said to Claude and Rena, before giving them the same wink he gave to Hilda. "No cap."
"That's the spirit!" exclaimed Bowser as he gave Clavell some props, with Clavell smiling and walking away. Claude and Rena looked at each other, confused.
xxx
Somewhere in Omnis Adest, some snazzy jazz music was heard. For Bowser, it was a very familiar tune.
"That song...it sounds familiar," Bowser crinkled his nose as he and the others turned around the corner...and saw Pauline, in a red pantsuit, performing with a jazz band. Paulina and all the band members were wearing black hats, performing to their heart's content.
"Aren't you happy that you're a part of Omnis Adest now?" Geno, one of the spectators, asked the person next to him - the Nimbus known as Mallow. Mallow moved in a week later than Claude and Rena did.
"Nothing like a jazz performance to spruce up Thanksgiving," Mallow replied with a smile, as he soaked everything in. What song was Pauline and her band performing? "Jump Up, Super Star", of course!
It's time to jump up in the air
Jump up, don't be scared
Jump up and your cares will soar away
And if the dark clouds start to swirl
Don't fear, don't shed a tear 'cause
I'll be your 1-Up girl
So let's all jump up super high!
High up in the sky!
There's no power-up like dancing
You know that you're my super star
No one else can take me this far
I'm flipping the switch
Get ready for this
Oh, let's do the Odyssey!
"Sing it, girl!" Bowser called out to Paulina, interrupting her as he caused her to pause singing. The rest of the band, however, kept on playing their instruments.
"Oh, hey Bowser," Pauline waved to the Koopa King, keeping herself in the rhythm as she moved her feet to the beat. "Nice to see a familiar face in the crowd."
"Looking beautiful in red! And your band is killing it! But I can make things even better..." Wearing a devious smile on his face, Bowser reached into his imaginary pocket and pulled out a microphone. "...let's make this a duet!"
"No, no, that won't be necessary," Brad spoke up, speaking on behalf of everyone present for he valued their eardrums. And their overall sanity. "We don't need that."
"Shut up, Brad, you don't speak for Pauline!" Holding tightly to his microphone, Bowser looked towards Paulina waiting for his big opportunity. "Just give me the cue, Pauline."
"No thanks, I can do well enough alone," Pauline kindly rejected Bowser as she resumed singing, picking up right where she left off without missing a beat. Bowser frowned as he spiked his microphone to the ground.
"Oh yeah, baby! That's what I like to see!" cheered a certain elderly gorilla, as Pauline stopped singing a second time and rolled her eyes. She knew who was coming...Cranky Kong was here, and he was swooning over Pauline.
"Of all the people..." facepalmed Pauline, as Cranky was so invigorated by Pauline's singing that he was raising his cane in the air. Raising the roof. "...I was hoping I wouldn't see you, Cranky."
Cranky Kong: YES! The blasted author finally did it! He had me and Pauline interact! He's been promising that for years, and he finally committed Wahoo!
Bowser: Wait a minute, how is Cranky still here? He's old, he's incapable of looking after himself! Did he show Master Hand some texts, too?
"So, are you moving in, or what?" Crank asked Pauline, as he was ready to give Master Hand the biggest thank you in existence if the answer was yes.
"Fortunately I'm not, Master Hand just asked me to perform on Thanksgiving," replied Pauline, and Cranky held his head in sadness as Pauline resumed her performance. Bowser had sympathy for Cranky as he came over to comfort him.
"Cranky Kong...you're old. Boom, roasted," Bowser said to the gorilla, before patting encouragingly him on the back as he moved on to Geno and Mallow. "Geno, I wouldn't buy you as a doll even if you were on a discount at ninety percent off. Boom, roasted."
"That wasn't very nice, Bowser," Mallow scolded the Koopa King, who drew his ire towards the Nimbus; Mallow backed off in fear. "I-I was only joking!"
"I would roast you, but you're a sensitive little fella so I won't take any chances." Just then, a certain school director entered Bowser's peripheral, as Clavell was drawing near. "Oh no..."
"Who's your cloud friend, Bowser?" Clavell asked the Koopa King, who was trying to dissuade the school director from saying anything about Mallow. "He is very, very much on the short side. No cap."
"Wh-What did he say about me?" questioned Mallow as he began tearing up, with Bowser and Geno both panicky as the clouds in the sky got dark.
"Take it easy, he didn't mean it..." Geno did his best to soothe Mallow, as he and Bowser were trying to comfort the Nimbus. Mallow tried to hold it all in...
...but he just couldn't do it, as he started sobbing. In an instant, it began to pour as the sudden rain put a damper on Pauline's mini-concert.
"Oh, my hair!" fretted Pauline, as the members of her band stopped performing and ran for cover. Pauline would do the same, making sure that her hair remained in tip-top shape.
"My word...I need an umbrella!" exclaimed Clavell, unaware of the damage he caused as he ran off to find an umbrella. Bowser and Geno were left with trying to calm down Mallow, who didn't seem to be stopping anytime soon.
Dunban: Sometimes you reap what you sow, Bowser. Got Clavell hurting that poor cloud kid...oh, and speaking of clouds, let's talk about Cloud Strife. Usually, he doesn't enjoy Thanksgiving, let alone any other holiday. But that didn't stop him from enjoying Thanksgiving outside the mansion...and in untraditional fashion.
Cloud had been meeting with Rufus Shinra over the past few weeks, along with Team Rocket, and with every meeting the swordsman was learning something new about Giovanni. The last meeting with Rufus didn't turn out so well, as he was rendered unconscious by Giovanni's Rhyperior.
Due to the injury he sustained, Rufus suffered from a lot of blunt-force trauma and was forced to stay at the hospital. Should be fortunate to be alive. Cloud hadn't been in touch with Rufus since that fateful day, but that would seemingly change...
"What's that?" Link asked Cloud, who approached the Hylian in his room with an invite. Everyone was getting invited to dinner this Thanksgiving.
"An invite to a Thanksgiving meal at that new sushi place," replied Cloud; on the invite was the name of the new sushi place, dubbed Blancho's Sushi.
"But who invited you..." Link scanned all the information on the invite, and once he got down to the bottom he saw something that made his eyes go wide. "...the Turks?!"
"Yeah, I've been speaking with them in private for the past couple of weeks." Cloud dared not to bring up Rufus, not yet at least. "They had their qualms about the coalition."
"So were you like their sounding board for all their grievances? Sounds legit." Link handed the invite back to Cloud, after looking at it long enough. "Is anyone going with you?"
"Team Rocket is coming with; they've had discussions with the Turks as well. Champion Link might be there. And Sora...I wouldn't count on him."
xxx
Cloud was leading Team Rocket to the new sushi restaurant in town, while Champion Link accompanied him. An unwanted friend of Cloud's was also tagging along.
"Didn't know you wanted to try out the new sushi place, Sora," Meowth said to the Keyblade wielder, who was coming along much to Cloud's chagrin. Cloud told Sora to keep his butt at home, and Sora evidently didn't get the memo.
"Who said that I wanted to try it out?" asked Sora, before walking closer to Cloud; anticipating Sora's move, Cloud picked up the pace. "I just wanted to hang out with Cloud!"
"You lay your finger on me while we're in public, and you'll be very sorry," Cloud threatened Sora while being mindful of the folks that were outside. Fortunately for him, the streets were pretty barren.
"This has to be the place," assumed Champion Link as he and the group arrived at what appeared to be the sushi restaurant. There was a black government car parked at the front, and that was the kicker.
"'Bancho Sushi,'" Jessie uttered the name of the sushi restaurant, looking up and seeing the store name in bold lettering. "I could've come up with a better name than that..."
"Don't get too ahead of yourself," James said to Jessie, triggering his partner-in-crime as he paid for his troubles with an aggressive angry backhand. "Ouch! Sorry for keeping it real..."
"Business must be pretty slow today," Cloud inferred from the lack of cars in the parking lot - the fewer customers, the better in Cloud's mind. Cloud and company entered the sushi restaurant, and saw three men standing together at the front.
"Well, Dave, you've outdone yourself yet again!" one of the men, a suave old dude wearing sunglasses and a Hawaiian t-shirt, said to a rotund Asian man as he placed his hand on his shoulder. "Served more customers this week than at our grand opening!"
"Thanks, Cobra - it feels good to be appreciated," responded Dave, who wasn't used to Cobra giving him much praise. He seldom heard a word of encouragement from his boss since the restaurant opened.
"Looks like we got some copmany," the third man, a black guy wearing sunglasses and sushi chef attire, said to Dave and Cobra as he brought their attention to Cloud and company.
"Hey-o! Hate to break it to ya, but we're all out of fish," Cobra said to Cloud and company, finding it embarrassing that he was unable to serve any customers at this time. "Come back later, and we'll..."
"About time you made it," a certain man in black said to Cloud, as Tseng was sitting at a table with the Turks. Cobra was incensed that Cloud and the others hadn't left.
"I told you punks to leave minutes ago! Did you not get the message?! Let me at 'em, Bancho, let me at 'em!" Cobra looked ready to scrap, and the sushi chef, Bancho, had to hold Cobra back.
"They're here for the meal," Bancho reminded Cobra, as he whispered into the restaurant owner's ear. Cobra cooled off as Cloud and company joined the Turks at their table.
"So glad that we could meet again," Reno smiled as Cloud and company took their seats, only for his smile to fade when he turned to one individual who happened to wield a Keyblade. "Even if we have unwanted company..."
"He's talking about you," Sora whispered to Champion Link, before putting on a happy face as he looked to be engrossed in the discussion. Champion Link stared at Sora for a brief moment before shaking his head.
"So how's Rufus doing?" Cloud asked the Turks, while Blancho was in the kitchen getting the food for the Thanksgiving brunch. "He got hit pretty bad."
"He's recovering still," replied Elena, as Blancho came over to the table with plates of Thanksgiving sushi as Cobra accompanied him. "Ended up in a coma, but he got out of it eventually."
"Enjoy yourselves," Blancho said to Elena and company as he placed their food on the table, with Cobra offering to assist. But Cobra stopped, however, when he saw a fishing rod sticking out of Champion Link's pocket.
"What's this?" wondered Cobra, who forgot about the sushi as he ran over to Champion Link's fishing rod and held it in his hands. "You're a fisherman, too?"
"Not really, but it's honest work." Champion Link's fishing rod had a profound effect on Cobra, who looked at the Hylian as if money signs were in his eyes.
Champion Link: Link gave me a fishing rod so that I could fish "properly". Beforehand, my preferred method of fishing was to throw bombs in the water and hope for the best. The police weren't huge fans, predictable, so I had to go back to my old tried and true method - jumping in the water to make the catch. And the police weren't fine with that either! Maybe they hate me. Is there such a thing as prejudice towards Hylians? Link lived here longer, he might know.
"Dave! Get your butt over here!" Cobra beckoned to Dave, who came over thinking that Cobra wanted him to hold Champion Link's fishing rod. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
"Yeah, but no thanks," replied Dave, as his reply befuddled Cobra greatly; Dave must be a mind-reader. "I'm not buying that fishing rod from him."
"Whoever said anything about that? We can worry about that later. I was thinking that you and the fisherman guy could team up together and catch us more fish."
"So you're taking him with you?" Meowth asked Cobra, as Champion Link was prepared to say no to Cobra's offer regardless of how much he was convinced.
"Heck yeah, talking cat guy! Word has it that there's a lake in Seattle with plenty of tasty fish. And we need all the fish that we can get to keep business boomin!"
xxx
While Cloud, Sora, and Team Rocket were eating sushi with the Turks at Blancho's Sushi, Champion Link was roped into doing some fishing for Cobra. The Hylian was sitting in a boat in the middle of the lake, with Dave, Cobra, and Blancho.
"This is so much more relaxing than throwing remote bombs into the water," said Champion Link as he was fishing inside Cobra's boat, taking it easy. Dave, Cobra, and Blancho tried not to judge Champion Link's questionable methods.
"You'll fish at the service level, while Dave here will be searching for deep-sea creatures," Cobra explained to Champion Link as he put his hand on Dave's shoulder while flashing a grin. "Don't let me down, Dave!"
"I'll do my best," responded Dave, fit in his diving gear as he donned his water goggles and dove into the water. Cobra and Blancho remained on the boat, with Cobra folding his arms.
"This is great, this plan is ingenious! We're killing two stones with one bird, baby!" While Cobra let out a hearty laugh, Blancho couldn't help but furrow his brow.
"Two birds with one stone," Blancho corrected Cobra, who wasn't the one to be corrected as he waved off the sushi chef.
"...same concept." The fishing trip was going well so far, but then Out of nowhere, a Blooper emerged from the water catching Champion Link off guard,
"A Blooper? In Seattle?" questioned Champion Link as he almost did a double take, not liking how close the Blooper was to his fishing reel. "You're not stealing my catch, you stupid calamari!"
"Show him who's the boss!" Blancho cheered on for Champion Link, who was reeling in his catch with increased determination. Champion Link would prevail over the Blooper, making his bag catch before the Blooper had the opportunity.
"Now that's a big one!" exclaimed Cobra as Champion Link successfully reeled in a large, redfish. Reeling it nearly took the fight out of Champion Link, who was huffing and puffing as he almost collapsed on the boat. "Don't tell me you're almost done for the day!"
Link: An underrated part of fishing is that it requires stamina. A lot of stamina. You can't just expect to sit on your butt all day and just reel in fish like you're playing a prize crane or something. It also takes patience, willpower, and grit...a few traits that Champion Link is lacking in.
Suddenly, Dave came up out of the water, hyperventilating as he climbed back on the boat. Dave was lying on his side, acting as if he had seen a ghost.
"Dave, speak to me!" Cobra said to the diver with everyone gathered around, as Cobra was slapping Dave silly. "Speak to me, man!"
"Big, scary fish...at the bottom of the lake..." said Dave, scared out of his mind as Cobra rolled him over on his back. Dave was looking up at the sky, overwhelmed by fear.
"This lake might not be safe," assumed Blancho as he looked at the lake, slowly getting some bad vibes from it. "Not too late to pick another place to fish."
"Are you crazy?!" Cobra questioned Blancho as he grabbed the sushi chef's shoulders and shook him silly. "Those big, scary fish would be our biggest catch ever! The price on their heads would be through the roof!"
"Your Dave friend is shook," Champion Link informed Cobra, as Rude was kneeling at Dave trying to snap him out of it. No progress was made. "Blancho might have a point...or maybe Dave is overreacting."
"Then you should go to the bottom of that lake and catch that fish..." Blancho dared Champion Link, who was very much against the idea as he flinched. Then out of nowhere, large bubbles appeared at the lake's surface. "...you guys hear that?"
The lake surface erupted with a massive splash, and out of the depths emerged not one, not two, but a whole school of Gyarados. Known for their intimidation factor, the Gyarados had everyone at the shoreline at unease.
"That's them, that's the scary fish I saw!" screamed Dave as he pointed at the Gyarados, moving back for good measure. "They're massive!"
"Not just scary fish...they're Gyarados!" said Champion Link as he whipped out his Master Sword, counting the number of Gyarados present. Seven in total.
"I can take them."
"Screw that! Blancho, we're off!" shouted Cobra, as Blancho got behind the wheel and sped the boat away. The Gyarados were hot on Cobra and company's tail, chasing after the boat.
Dunban: Champion Link and the boys made it out of that lake alive; a Gyarados got a huge chunk out of that boat, but nonetheless everyone was safe. Well, that's the last Thanksgiving tale I wanted to share with you all. Until then...
Researcher Zelda: *runs in and whispers something into Dunban's ear, before running off*
Dunban: Ah, silly me, how could I forget? Apparently, we had another food fight at our Thanksgiving meal. And no, it wasn't started by any of us. Like last year, the manor folk was to blame...
The Thanksgiving feast was underway at the mansion, with everyone enjoying the food and enjoying each other's company. All that good stuff. Three folks from the All-Star Manor - Cole MacGrath and Sly Cooper - stopped by to deliver dessert.
"Peach cobbler looks scrumptious," Zelda said to Cole and Sly as she accepted the dessert, placing it on a table with all the other goodies in the dining room. "Who baked it?"
"Fat Princess does all the desserts - for better AND for worse," replied Sly, as Cole furrowed his brow intensely when he saw someone enter the dining room. It was his rival, Raiden.
"Pardon me, but Mario wishes to know if you have any cranberry sauce," Raiden approached Pyra and Mythra, as Cole was looking to let the mercenary know how he felt about him. "That cheetah friend of his foolishly ate the entire bowl by himself."
"We have some on the table," replied Pyra as she pointed at the cranberry sauce, which was on the table right next to the dressing. Once Raiden started moving, Cole made his move.
"Don't you even think about it..." Sly warned Cole, knowing what the anti-hero was about to as Cole grabbed one of the desserts. Cole marched over to Raiden who had retrieved the cranberry sauce.
"Hey, Raiden...happy Thanksgiving, you jerk!" Cole said to the mercenary, before sling some carrot cake in his face. It got quiet in the dining room, as everyone gasped in reaction to Cole's savage move.
"Trying to start a food fight with that? Nice try," Raiden said to Cole, unfazed as he wiped the carrot cake off his face...before retaliating by throwing cranberry sauce on Cole's shirt. "How do you like those apples?"
"Someone thinks they got jokes after getting out of Twilight, eh?" Refusing to do down without a fight, Cole ran to the dessert table and came back armed with pies in both hands. That could only mean one thing...
"FOOD FIGHT!" Silver shouted at the top of his lungs, and right on cue everyone started flinging food at one another. A true Thanksgiving tradition. "Man, I've always wanted to say that..."
"Did somebody say food fight?" a certain fighter asked as the backdoor was kicked down, with Sub-Zero coming inside with him. Also coming in was Scorpion and a slew of others from Omnis Adest and the Assist Tower.
Ken: Told Scorpion and Sub-Zero all about our annual Thanksgiving food fight at the mansion. *smirks* Soon as I mentioned the word "fight", those two left their own Thanksgiving dinner and rounded up as many people as they could at Omnis Adest to join them for...well, you probably know by now. Sometimes it's fun being a bad influence.
"GET OVER HERE!" shouted Sub-Zero as he and everyone else rushed inside the dining room, getting down to business. It was on like Donkey Kong - Funky Kong was throwing banana pudding at Geo Stelar; Falco was flinging potato casserole at the Koopalings; Kumatora smacked Big the Cat in the face with a turkey; and Sly Cooper ducked a large piece of ham that was thrown at him by Hammer Bro.
"Watch the million-dollar face!" Sly shouted at Hammer Bro, before ducking for cover as he hid underneath the dessert table. Thanks to the tablecloth, Sly was (mostly) safe.
"Is it still too late to do teams?" Link asked Zelda, bringing up an idea that he jokingly proposed to his wife last Thanksgiving. A pumpkin pie was flung in Link's face, as Zelda laughed.
"I think a Thanksgiving free-for-all works out just fine," replied Zelda as she wiped some of the pie off of Link's face with her finger and put it in her mouth.