Another sunny morning in Seabrook:
Bonzo was crossing the street toward the Necrodopolis residence when Zed skipped down the front stairs, earlier than usual. He had a pep in his step that was atypical and he hummed happily on his approach.
"Gah zarging!" Bonzo offered a fist-bump as he held up the screen with Eliza's face.
"Good morning! I missed our morning talks on our morning walks and thought I'd join you…wait…" Eliza crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow, "What's going on?"
"What do you mean?" Zed led the way down the street and to the gate out of Zombietown.
"You're too happy, smug even."
Bonzo nodded along with her.
"I, what? Pfft…you know, Eliza, I love you, but I'm not sure this is the best time for you to be joining us."
"Why's that?"
"Guy stuff."
She rolled her eyes, "Don't reinforce outdated ideals and-"
"We did stuff! Last night! Addison and I-"
"Oh gross, nevermind! Enjoy your 'boy talk' you Neanderthals." The screen turned black as Eliza signed off.
"Bye 'Liza!" Zed waved at the device. "Ok Bonzo- I know 'a gentleman doesn't kiss and tell' and all that, but I HAVE to tell you. Last night was HANDS down THE best night of my life!"
"GarZEX?!"
"Uh, well, no, not technically. But uh, she let me like," He made a motion with his fingers, receiving a pleasantly surprised smile from his friend. "And I know everybody says its awkward to figure out, which maybe it was, but I figured it out! I mean figured HER out- like what she likes- REALLY likes." They waved to the guy sweeping the front of a bakery and nodded to other students on their way, presenting themselves as friendly despite wanting to finish their conversation in private. "At the end- THERE WAS AN END DUDE- I was afraid the neighbors would hear her."
Bonzo made a playfully shocked face, then motioned for him to continue.
"But THEN," He maneuvered them toward an alleyway with the dumpsters, "SHE offered to help ME." His friend made a crude hang-gesture with a quizzical face. "For a second! But then," He poked his tongue in and out of his cheek.
Bonzo shrieked, laughed, and patted his friend on the back as they resumed course. He grumbled something in zombie about being excited for him and proud that he "caught up".
"You should REALLY practice your English. Wait, caught up? WAIT like you and Bree already…DO THAT?"
He shrugged as if to say "no big deal", "Wednesdays…Short cheer prazactice…empty parzarking lot."
"SHIT MAN! Well…I guess I owe YOU a congratulations, but why didn't you say something earlier?!"
With a look of concentration and a strain in his voice, he answered, "Gar-gentlemen don't kisska and tell." They'd finally reached the school.
Zed held open the door, "I can't believe you."
"Next tryska," Bonzo teased with his fingers in a V, but only briefly before his mate slapped his hand down.
"Hey shhh, whatever."
Further down the fluorescent-lit hallway with all the senior homerooms, Addison bopped into her class. Bree sat in their usual spot directly in front of the door, so they could wave at other friends, and, more importantly, boyfriends on their way to class.
"Hey girlie! I just-"
Addison seemingly looked over Bree but grabbed her arm and drug her toward the back of the class.
Bree grabbed her glitter backpack and followed, "New seats?! Ok! Oh! Was this about the thing you texted about last night? I don't know why you said you'd wait to-"
"Bree!" She whispered, "Shhh, you know my mom goes through my messages."
"Well then she knows WAY too much about me."
"That's YOUR fault."
"GooooooOOOOOOD MORNING SEABROOK!" The announcements began on the mounted TV in the corner.
"Last night…Zed and I…"
"Had sex?!"
"Well, no." She sighed.
Bree and Bonzo hadn't been together as long as Addison and Zed, but in a way, they'd surpassed them. The night of Prawn, she'd let him reach under the skirt of her dress in the dark limo. Then they spent the summer at cheer camp sneaking into the woods at night to take it further. Bree would sneak back into the girls cabin just before their wake-up call, nearly every morning. At breakfast, she would share in painstaking detail what they'd attempted the night before.
Addison was happy for her friend of course, but she was jealous that she got to spend almost all summer WITH her partner. Football camp happened in Seabrook, so her summers were spent without Zed. Thanks to cousin Bucky, not all of their letters were sent/received as they should have been either. She missed hugging him, kissing him, and often daydreamed about what it would be like to do even more. Admittedly, her friend's adventures made her a little jealous. By the end of the summer, they'd indulged in about everything except for intercourse, having agreed to wait "until the time was right".
Now, here she was: a senior, captain of the cheer squad, and a hopeless virgin. She was taking advice from her glasses-wearing sidekick, who'd never so much as looked at a boy before the zombies arrived. Addison knew it wasn't a contest or race, and that each couple moved at their own pace. But, by Bree asking if they'd taken it even further, she felt that her present announcement was inadequate.
"Um, well, he…" She made a motion with her fingers.
"Oh!" Bree popped open a binder and set it up like a wall in front of them. "Was it weird for you?"
"No! Actually! It was…incredible…I even…you know…" She bounced her eyebrows for emphasis, ducking below the line of the binder.
"The first time?! That's impressive actually. It took us MONTHS to figure that out. Girl, you're lucky! Just make sure he cuts his nails and stuff-but wait! Did you…help HIM?"
"Yeah!...but like…I had to," She motioned at her mouth, "My arm was tired."
"I get that. But dang, that's a big jump all at once. So did he help you like that too?"
Addison shook her head with a sigh, "No…He would have I bet…But I don't know that I'm ready for that yet tbh…But also for a guy you can just like…pull it out, but for a girl, you'd had to be like naked or whatever. Just more space and time than we usually have when his dad picks up Zoey from scouts."
"I get that…So did he…?"
"Oh yeah! Yeah, actually, it kind of scared me. I let go and it got all over his shirt."
"Addison! Next time, just swallow it. That's what I do."
The bell rang and Bree packed up her binder.
"Bree, that's disgusting."
She shrugged, "But efficient! See you in bio!"
"Students please fill in all available seats." Principal Lee urged from the podium.
As the unexpected assembly was announced in the afternoon, Addison and Bree were seated with their AP Biology class. They lamented the fact that from the front couple of row, they wouldn't be able to see the rest of the school filter in. Addison snuck her phone out of her pocket and texted one handed, trying to look at her phone as little as possible.
A: Hey u here yet?
Z: Not yet. Wtf is this about anyway
A: No clue!
"Welcome students. We've gathered you here today to provide announcements regarding the state's...MANDATORY...updates to...curriculum...particularly the health education curriculum. A new edition of the health textbook that we use here at Seabrook has been released. To discuss these...topics...is our newest member of staff, Ms. K-kay-cah-ninoo." Having butchered the name, she ceded her spot to the woman approaching from stage right.
A petite, but muscular, Latina took her place behind the stand and adjusted the mic to her height. "Good afternoon Seabrook! For those of you who don't know me, my name is Ms. Canino, KA-NEE-NO. Like Principal Lee told you, I'm the new physical education and health teacher. I'm happy to be here, to be the first werewolf member of staff, and to meet all of the upperclassmen I unfortunately will not have the opportunity to teach."
Students cheered, the werewolves shouting things like "represent" and "one of us".
"This is the one time you're going to get the opportunity to take out your cell phones! On the screen here, you'll see a web address. Go to the address, and you can submit anonymous questions that I will answer live. Let's keep it respectful, and I will try to answer all questions to the best of my ability. Ok?"
Addison and Bree both pulled up the website, but stopped to look around. Addison felt that she SHOULD be asking something, but she wasn't sure of what.
"Lots of questions coming in- ok, great! Let's get started then! How many teats do werewolf chicks have? They have two nipples, just like human women do. Next: How to get head from a werewolf without getting scratched? As always, start with consent, and communicate with your partner. Are monsters more likely to have STDs? No, that has not been proven. An individual's risk of STIs is up to their own sexual habits and safety practices, not their species. Also, a quick reminder. While we do hope to answer all questions, let's try to avoid harmful stereotypes...Please and thank you...Moving on: do zombies…ehem…ejaculate acid? No, they don't. Do werewolves have puppies? No, werewolf infants are, for all intents and purposes, the same as human infants. Do zombies have the biggest…phalluses?"
Z: Legit just WATCHED Bonzo type that one LMAO
Despite having done well to maintain her composure thus far, she sighed. "All individuals are different. A man's species does not determine his size. Oh! Now this is a good question: do werewolves or zombies go into 'monster-mode' during sex? Werewolves have the privilege of deciding when to 'wolf-out'. Zombies temperaments are maintained by their z-bands. For that reason, I do not suggest anyone engage in sexual activity with a zombie who is having issues with their z-band or isn't wearing one. Last question for now: can you speak on interspecies sex? Of course! It-"
The principal had already stood and was rapidly approaching the podium, "Actually it seems that we're all out of time for today. Students, let's give Ms. Canino a round of applause-"
"Anyone with lingering questions is welcome to stop by my class and ask. For this year's freshmen and beyond, we'll be expanding our topics to cover CONSENT, sexual assault awareness-"
"Thank you, Ms. Canino!
"Same-sex relationships, self-pleasure, and interspecies-"
"Students, please remain seated until your class is dismissed. Teachers, you may dismiss your classes one by one. Have a sensational Seabrook day!"
The girls tried to turn around and find Bonzo and Zed in the crowd, but the classes in the back of the auditorium were already being marched out. Their own class followed shortly thereafter, only to be told to head on to their next period.
Just beyond the faculties' sight, the Aceys caught up to them.
"Sup zluts?!" Jacey smacked Bree's binder out of her hands.
"Excuse me?!" Addison crossed her arms in defiance while Bree immediately knelt and began picking up her things.
"Zlut?"
"You know? Zombie fuckers, like you two skanks." Stacey chimed in.
"ACTUALLY you guys," Lacey put her hand over her heart, "I think you're both SO brave. Like, if I had a radioactive crotch, I just would NOT be comfortable sharing it with the whole school. But like that's just me, so good for you!"
"Omg SO brave." Her minions mimicked her taunt.
"Oh fuck off!" Bree finally cut in.
Addison sighed, "You know Aceys...I would REALLY have to report you guys for slut-shaming-no wait- discrimination- no wait- body shaming too. Oh! And bullying. Those are grounds to kick your sorry asses off the squad."
"You wouldn't dare!"
"You wanna try me?" She got into their faces. "You don't have to like who I date, but you DO have to respect your captain."
"Ladies!" A teacher called from down the hall, "Get to class!"
"Come on Bree, let's get out of here." Addison put her arm around her friend protectively until they were a safe distance away from the bullies.
"Thanks girl...But for real, you should look into kicking those toxic bitches off the team."
"Yeah...we'll see..."
"Hey are YOU ok?"
"Yeah...I'm just thinking..."
"ABOUT?"
She sighed. "Do you think Zed asked that question?"
"About zombie 'dongs'? No, unfortunately that was Bonzo." She stifled a laugh.
"No, no...well I mean yeah I figured that one. I meant the one about interspecies relationships."
"Oh..."
"Mhmm...I just...I know Zed respects me and cares for me, and, as cliche as it sounds, he's not like other guys...BUT everyone always talks about how teenage boys pressure girls-"
"He's not pressuring you, is he?"
"Well no, but..."
"Addie-"
"What if last night wasn't enough? Like what kind of floodgates did I open?"
"Addie-"
"How soon is he going to expect MORE?"
"Addie!"
"Huh?"
Bree took a deep breath, "I asked the question."
Addison stared blankly for a second, processing the statement, "What? Wait...like are you guys-"
"Not yet! But...soon."
"Really?" Her eyes bugged, "That's...exciting? I don't know. Do you feel like you're ready?"
"I do. We're in love and we trust each other. Besides, everyone talks about teenage boys being so horny all the time...but nobody talks about girls wanting to, too."
"I mean...fair."
"You know that scholarship competition I'm going to next weekend?"
"Yeah?"
"They got us our own hotel rooms."
"And Bonzo is going with you?"
"Mhmm."
"What'd you tell your mom?"
"Okay this SOUNDS crazy, BUT, I told her the truth."
"What?!"
"Yeah, I'm a legal adult and so is he. She trusts me to make good choices and respects those choices. She said something weird about 'being honored I still share things with her'- whatever that means. I assured her he wasn't pushing me or anything, so her biggest concern was being safe. She even got me an appointment with her doctor next week to talk about birth control."
"No way! God, you're lucky. If my mom knew half of the stuff Zed and I had been into lately, she'd FLIP."
"Yeah she would! But, anyway, I'm thinking about going to the mall later to look for like a sexy bra or something," She giggled, "I don't know- but something special you know. Want to come with?"
"Oof, tonight's date night. Could we do it this weekend?"
"Bet!"
"Sucks we didn't get to see the girls, but hey, tonight's date night for Addie and I," Zed slung his backpack back over his shoulder, "Props on the questions too."
"Zombie dong- definitsky bigger." Bonzo chuckled as he dug around in his locker.
"And the other one too, good idea."
"Just one."
Zed crinkled his face in confusion, "Didn't you ask about the interspecies stuff?"
Bonzo froze and raised an eyebrow, "Thought youska did."
"Nooo, I thought YOU did." He leaned into the lockers, "So if I didn't...and you didn't...Bonzo, how many interspecies relationships do you think are happening at Seabrook right now?"
He shrugged.
"'Cause I'm pretty sure it's just us...And if it wasn't one of us-"
"Garga-girlfriends?"
Zed nodded, a grin of enthusiasm beginning to form. "You wouldn't ask if you weren't interested, right?"
"Gar-right?"
"Bonzo! Do you know what this means?!"
"One gar-girl wants to-"
"BOTH!"
Bonzo looked confused.
"Dude- they're best friends- they do everything together. Addison starts cheer, so Bree starts cheer. Bree gets a second ear piercing, Addison gets a second ear piercing."
"Booooth," He decided now was not the time to share of his plan to join Bree's college tour. Zed's logic made enough sense, and he didn't want to shoot his eager friend down.
"Bonzo...soon..." Zed proudly smacked his taller friend's shoulder, "We become men."