A/N: Person A of your OTP has too much to drink and Person B has to take care of them. AKA Tipsy Jessica. Enjoy!

"Doc," hollered Beverly. "Doc!"

"What?" hollered Seth.

"Phone for you. It's Lillian Applewood."

"Oh. Alright. I'll take it in the office. Just give me a minute." Seth had been upstairs, getting ready to change. He'd seen his last patient, and he was planning on sprucing himself up, as he and Jess were going to dinner in Rockland tonight. They'd made plans to try out the new restaurant that had opened just a few weeks ago. He sighed. He hoped whatever was wrong with one or both of the Applewood sisters wouldn't interfere with his evening. Chiding himself for such an ungenerous thought, he took the stairs doubletime and headed into his office to take the call.

"This is Doc Hazlitt, Miss Applewood. What seems to be the trouble?"

"Dr. Hazlitt? I'm so glad I reached you. I need you to come over. Right away!"

"What's wrong? Are you alright? Is it Helen?"

"No, no. We're both fit as a fiddle. It's Mrs. Fletcher. Jessica."

Seth's heart seized. "What's wrong?" he barked.

"She's...well, she's-"

"Spit it out, woman!"

"She drank some of our cider, Doctor. Just a wee dram or two, but, well, it's gone to her head, and we're having a time trying to manage her."

"What?"

"Well, I suppose we didn't realize how strong this particular batch was when we served it. I believe it's just sat down in the cellar for too long," Lillian mused. "But we certainly could use your help, Doctor. She's insisting on going home, on her bike!"

Seth grinned. A tipsy Jessica? This he had to see. "Not to worry, Miss Applewood. I'll be right over."

He grabbed his jacket and shrugged his shoulders into it. "I've got to run over to the Applewoods, Beverly. Just lock up behind you."

"Everything alright?"

"Nothing to worry about. I just want to check on them. I'll see you tomorrow. Goodnight, Beverly."

"Night, Doc." She knew he had plans to have dinner out with Jessica tonight. He looked unusually chipper to be called out on a visit that might disrupt those plans. Something odd was going on. She reached for her own jacket and purse. Oh, well. She'd get an earful tomorrow morning, of that she was certain.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

He pulled up a few minutes later, stopping to put Jess's bike in his car before he went inside. As he approached the door, he could hear noises. Was that singing?

Don't sit under the apple tree with anyone else but me, sang Jessica. He was surprised to discover what a lovely singing voice she had. He'd never known. He knocked, and a flustered Helen Applewood answered the door.

"Oh, Dr. Hazlitt. We're so glad to see you! We're not accustomed to dealing with this sort of behavior," she said primly.

"I hear her. Where is she?"

"Oh, Lillian's got her in the kitchen. She was in the middle of making apple butter and she didn't want it to set for too long. She thought perhaps having Jessica, Mrs. Fletcher, assist her in some way might keep her out of trouble. I don't think it's working," she said darkly as she led Seth to the kitchen.

He didn't think he'd ever forget the sight of Jessica holding a wooden spoon, vamping as she sang the old, familiar tune.

I wrote my mother

I wrote my father

and now I'm writing you too

I'm sure of mother

I'm sure of father

and now I wanna be sure-

She turned and caught sight of Seth.

Very very sure of you," she sang, pointed the wooden spoon at him and slinked over to him. "Hello, Seth!" she said as she threw her arms around his neck. "You didn't have to pick me up here," she slurred. "I was just...I was just getting ready to go home." She released Seth and turned to look for Lillian. "Here," she said, "here is your spoon." She made a regal bow. "And thank you for a lovely afternoon. I can't remember when I've had such a delightful time. But I have to go now. I have to go sit under the apple tree," wobbling a bit as she turned, "with him," pointing at Seth and winking broadly.

Seth's eyebrows shot up to his hairline, and his surprised expression was mirrored on the faces of the Applewood sisters.

"Doctor," Lillian ventured. "Are you sure you'll be able to manage?"

Seth cleared his throat. He was mildly shocked by Jess's behavior, and he could only imagine her response when she came back down to earth, but he was also charmed. Thoroughly charmed. He'd never seen Jessica so...relaxed...before. It was a memory he would treasure. "I'm sure, Miss Applewood," he said as Jessica careened back into him. He steadied her by offering her his arm. "Ready to go, Jess?" he asked brightly.

"Indeed, I am, Dr. Hazlitt!" she replied coquettishly.

Seth pulled her arm more securely through his as he led Jessica from the kitchen through the living room to the front door. He paused for a moment to speak with the Applewood sisters. "And ladies," he murmured, "I'd throw this batch of cider out!"

The sisters nodded in agreement, pained expressions notwithstanding. "Of course, Doctor," murmured Lillian. "Please do let us know when Jessica recovers."

"I will."

Jessica waved broadly. "I'll be back! See you soon!"

"Come now, Jess," murmured Seth. "We need to be going."

She turned to look at him, a mischievous grin on her face. "You seem to be in quite a hurry, Doctor!" She batted her lashes. "Ought I to be concerned?"

Oh dear lord. If she was this flirtatious here, it could be a very long night. "Not at all, Jess. We just...we need to be going. That's all. Let me drive you home."

"Alright," she acquiesced. "I like to be driven home by you."

The Applewood sisters shook their heads as they closed the door. "And I really thought Jessica could handle her spirits."

"So did I, dear. So did I. Well, we could have a glass of that cider, then pour the rest out. What do you say, Helen?"

"Seems a shame to throw out the whole batch, Lillian."

They nodded in agreement and made their way to the kitchen.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Seth had a time getting Jessica buckled in. At first, he'd assumed she could manage herself, so he handed her into the car, shut her door carefully and went round to the driver's side. But she struggled with the belt, then couldn't seem to fit the latch plate into the buckle. She kept missing the buckle.

"May I help you, Jess?"

"I can do it," she'd insisted, trying and failing again.

"Here, let me steady your hand a bit." He attempted to maneuver the hand holding the latch plate into the buckle, but only succeeded in bumping their heads together. He swallowed an oath while Jess giggled. Boy, she's not feeling a thing. He tried again to place her hand over the buckle, but of course the belt locked up and had no more give. He was seriously contemplating driving her home unbelted, but, even for such a short distance, it wasn't safe. Who knew what she might try, the state she was in? "Jessica," he said firmly. "I need you to sit still while I buckle you in."

"Alright," she said placidly, leaning into him companionably.

"Can you straighten up just a bit? It might help loosen the belt."

"You want me to loosen your belt? That's very naughty, Seth."

Seth took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "Just sit up straight in your seat, Jess. Then I can get you strapped in."

"I'll sit up straight. Very straight. Straight as an arrow."

"Good girl."

"I'm not a girl," she protested. "I'm a woman." She nodded her head sadly. "An old woman."

"Hardly," said Seth absently as he fiddled with her seatbelt. He really was about to lose his temper with this thing.

"I don't feel old, Seth. But I am. I am old. Old. Old."

"There! Got it!" He grinned at her.

"You're old, too."

"A-yuh." He sat up, fastened his own seatbelt, then started the car.

"We'll grow old together. Do you remember that poem...how does it go?"

Seth listened to her muse as he drove along. Just a few minutes more, and then he'd have to get her out of that seatbelt. He swallowed another oath.

"Grow old...grow old." Jessica snapped her fingers. "I've got it!" She cleared her throat. Grow old along with me\The best is yet to be. She looked at Seth. "Are you gonna grow old along with me, Seth?"

"A-yuh, Jess. That's what I'm doing." And this car ride is aging me by the second!

Jessica started to lean in against him, then began struggling with the seat belt. "I want to sit next to you, Seth!"

"You are sitting next to me, woman! Leave your seatbelt alone now. We're almost home."

"What'll we do when we get home? Get home. That sounds so strange. Get. Home."

"Have you eaten today, Jess?"

"Hmmm. No, I don't think so."

"Did you eat anything with the Applewoods?"

"I had cider with Lillian and Helen. Cider cider cider," she sang. "That's a funny word, too. Cider."

"They didn't offer you cake or cookies? Anything?"

"Oh, they did, but I said no. I said No, I am going to dinner with Seth in Rockland and I don't want to spoil my appetite." She gasped. "We're going to dinner tonight! Oh, I'll have to get ready."

"No, no, Jess. I'll cook for you tonight."

"You will? But we were going out."

"We'll go another night. How about tomorrow night?"

"Alright, Seth. Tomorrow night. Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow creeps in its petty pace," she intoned.

"You're just full of literary allusions this evening."

"I am an English teacher, you know."

"I know. You're also a writer."

"I know that." She began to struggle with her seatbelt again.

"Hold on, Jess. I'm just going to pull around back, then you can get out. But wait for me, alright?"

"Why, Seth? Seth. That sounds funny, too. Seth." She giggled.

"I'd like to help you out of the car."

She cut her eyes at him. "What else would you like to help me with?" she asked flirtatiously.

Oh my lord. Let me just get her in the house before the whole town hears about this. Seth didn't think the Applewood sisters would spread gossip about Jess, but he wouldn't put it past the curtain-twitching busybodies of the town, one or two of whom lived on her street. She was such a proper, correct sort of person. She would be mortified by her behavior, no matter how delightful he found it. "Just wait right here, Jess. I'll be right around." She smiled at him, a gentle, loving smile that caught him completely by surprise. He stopped unbuckling his belt.

"You love me, don't you?" asked Jess.

Seth took a deep breath. "Course I do, Jess," he said stoutly. "You're my best friend."

"You're my best friend, too, Seth. I think I love you." She quirked her head at him. "Did you know that?"

Stay calm, man. Just stay calm and behave normally. Seth finally unbuckled his seatbelt and opened his car door. He looked at her. She was staring at him, her eyes wide and bright. "I didn't know that," he said as calmly as he could.

"Well, I've been thinking about it for awhile now, and I think I do. Yes, I'm almost sure I do."

His heart sank. "Let's get you out of the car and into the house, Jess."

"Will you come, too?"

Her plaintive tone caught at his heart. "I will, Jess. I'll help you inside, then I'll rustle up something for us to eat."

She sighed and leaned her head back against the headrest. "That sounds nice."

"Alright, Jess. Just stay right there."

"I will, Seth. I'll stay right here." She closed her eyes.

He came around the car as quickly as he could and opened her door. She turned her face to him, opened her eyes and smiled. "Hello," she said dreamily.

"I'm just going to reach across you to unbuckle your seatbelt, ok?"

"Ok, Seth. Ok. Ok. Ok," she sang loudly in his ear. Her warm breath tickled and he found himself struggling to concentrate.

As he unbuckled her seatbelt, she reached her arms around his neck. It caught him off balance, and he stumbled. He very nearly cracked his head against the roof of the car. "Jess, we've got to get you out of the car now. Can you stand up?"

"Course I can!"

"Wait, wait. Let go of me first, then swing your legs out, alright?" She let go of his neck, then pitched herself forward and swung her legs out at the same time. Somehow Seth managed to get her out of the car without injuring either one of them. She was leaning against him, breathing heavily. "Are you alright, Jess?" he asked tenderly.

"A-yuh," she said and laughed. "Now that is a funny word, and you say it all the time!"

"I do," Seth grunted as he tried to get Jessica to stand upright and bear some of her own weight. He needed her help to get her inside. "Stand up, Jess. We need to get you inside."

"Don't you like me, Seth?"

"I do like you. Very much."

"Then why don't you want to be close to me?" She leaned closer in to Seth. "I want to be close to you," she said in what she probably thought was a whisper.

Seth tried again to maneuver her to take some steps into the house. "We need to get into the house, Jess. Can you do that?"

She attempted to draw herself up. "Of course I can," she said indignantly, enunciating each word. "Why?"

"Because we can't stand out here all night, Jess. You need to be inside."

"What about you? Where do you need to be?"

"I'll be inside with you. I'm fixing your dinner, remember?"

"Dinner. I remember. What are we having?"

"That depends very much on the contents of your refrigerator and pantry, woman."

She leaned her head in the crook of Seth's neck. "Woman. I like it when you call me that."

"You do?"

"A-yuh." She laughed, then pulled back and looked at him sternly. "I didn't at first. I didn't like it one bit." She shook her head vigorously. "But now-" She gave him a fond look. "Now I like it. Say it again."

"Alright, woman. Stand up straight and start walking."

"No. Just say woman."

Oh good lord. "If I say it, will you walk inside?"

Jessica held up two fingers. "Scout's honor."

"Woman," he said gruffly.

She smiled and started walking. "See? I gave you my honor."

"I see, Jess. Let's get inside." He fumbled with the knob of the door and together they stumbled into the house. Jessica put her hands against the nearest chair. Thank God! He put a hand on her shoulder. "How are you feeling?"

She took a deep breath. "I'm alright! Just a little wobbly."

"I imagine so. Why don't you sit down for a minute while I fix us up a quick bite." Seth rummaged around in her pantry until he found a can of broth and the box of crackers he was almost certain would be there. He could hear Jessica humming behind him. A light, warm chicken broth and some saltines would be just the thing for her soon-to-be unsettled stomach. He opened the can and emptied its contents into a saucepan and turned the burner on low.

"Seth, do you want to sit under the apple tree with me?"

"What do you mean when you say that?"

"You know what I mean."

"I can say in all honesty, Jess, that I have no idea what you mean right now."

"It's just like the song, silly! You know this song!

The boy she met

Just loves to pet

and it fits you to a T

So don't sit under the apple tree

with anyone else but me

So, don't you want to sit under the apple tree with me?"

"Jess, you won't remember a bit of this in the morning." No matter how much I hope you will.

Jessica walked over to him slowly and put her arms around his neck. The boy she met just loves to pet, she sang, he was sure what seemed quietly to her, in his ear.

It took every ounce of discipline Seth had, but he reached for her arms to pull her away from him. He'd scarcely let himself dream of something like this, and yet what was happening now wasn't real. She was tipsy drunk and he would never take advantage of her, of anyone, like that. He pulled her arms gently from his neck and placed his hand on her cheek. "Jessica Fletcher, if you remember any of this tomorrow morning, I'll sit anywhere you like."

TBC

A/N: Jessica is singing The Andrews Sisters' version of "Don't Sit Under the Apple Tree, which you can find on their Very Best Of album. I think it's also on their 20th Century Masters as well. Anyway, it had the vamping that I was after, so...

"Grow old along with me" is from Robert Browning's poem Rabbi Ben Ezra and "Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow..." is from Shakespeare's Macbeth.