"Okay you two this can't go all night one of you has to talk," Megan commanded.
"She started it," Allison snapped.
"Take a walk and work it out," Megan directed.
"Kids," Annie said, "my boys are out of control today."
"They're in the back yard they can't do much damage there," Megan said.
"Everly is cranky," Allison said.
"And she has Auntie Megan," Megan said, "you're not avoiding this."
"She won't babysit on Fridays anymore," Allison yelled, "and told me I was a brat."
"Annie," Megan asked.
"No you do not get to do this," Annie said, "you have a problem with me you come to me. You don't hide behind someone else. Allison, that is not how adults handle conflict. You have to decide if you want me to treat you like a kid or an adult. Right now I'm going to treat you like a child because you are acting like one. This running to tell Mama or Meg about our disagreement is what my 10 and 11 year old do. And the first thing I ask them is if they've talked to the other person. Allie you have to talk to me if you are mad at me."
"But," Allison tried.
"No you have a problem with me, you talk to me," Annie said, "no triangles."
"But," Allison said.
"Look we both messed up but having another person in the middle makes the problem bigger and worse," Annie said.
"I agree with Annie here," Megan said, "you two have to talk. Allison, you are not going to yell, swear or cry. Annie, you are not going to run away or yell."
"Okay," Annie said, "Allie lets go downstairs and talk."
"No," Allison said, "not without mom she's part of the problem."
"You and I can work out the part between us now," Annie said, "I know I overreacted the other night. We need to talk about what we both said."
"You don't get it," Allison whined.
"Okay let's grab some water and go down and talk," Annie said, "you have to tell me what you're feeling."
Allison reluctantly grabbed her water and followed Annie down stairs.
"You've never loved me," Allison accused.
"What," Annie asked.
"You've never loved me or Leo," Allison said, "you wanted it to just be you and mom. There's hardly any pictures of us when I was a baby."
"I was surprised when Mama told me," Annie admitted, "Allie I was 25 when you were born and 24 when she told me. Could you imagine 5 years from now her coming in and telling you she's pregnant? That she's moving across the world to work at the hospital you just started your internship at to be with the baby's dad? I had seen her six weeks before for my med school graduation. She didn't know she was pregnant yet. Her and I had champagne and celebrated, she was in Boston for 3 days, that's all the time she had off. Then she went back to Germany, she was happy in Germany. I was confused and surprised but I have always loved you. I was the first person other than Mama and Uncle and Owen to meet you and hold you. I even got to go to a couple of the ultrasounds with them and see you before you were born. I love you. I wasn't around much when you were a baby because it was my intern year. I was working 100 hours a week, I wanted to see you and be with you. I used to sneak up to daycare to hug you and play with you, I know there weren't pictures because I didn't let people take my picture then."
"But you don't do normal sister things," Allison complained.
"Like what," Annie asked.
"Shopping, nails, talk about boys," Allison listed.
"We go shopping and do pedicures," Annie said, "you are welcome to talk about Asher or any other boy as much as you want."
"You don't tell me anything," Allison said, "I'm your sister you should tell me things."
"I want to protect you I can't," Annie said, "Allison I know our relationship is different because of our age gap. I'm protective of you and I failed."
"But you didn't want me, you didn't want a baby sister," Allison said.
"I wanted you," Annie said, "I was excited to meet you. The day you were born Megan had to hold me back from running to Mama to see you. She held me hostage in an OR with a surgery and clamping bleeders so that it would give Mama and Uncle Owen time with you. To make me wait for them to tell me they were ready."
"But you walked away and didn't love your other sister," Allison said.
"I loved her," Annie said, "but I had to make an impossible choice. Allison when I was 19 she beat me nearly to death. I carry the scar from that to this day. I will see the marks from that on my body every day of my life to remind me. You crossed a line the other night when you brought up Jessica. I know I've never talked to anyone other then Dr. Barlow about the whole thing. Not even Mama knows. Allison my history with Jessica is very painful and complicated. I blamed myself for her death for a long time. That is a topic that is off limits. Jessica is a line you do not cross."
"You have a lot of those," Allison said.
"Two absolute no gos," Annie said.
"So Jessica and you never talk about guys with me," Allison said, "at least you don't share."
"The physical aspect of my marriage is off limits to anyone other than me and Josh I don't care who it is," Annie said, "I am happy to listen to you and give you relationship advice but I don't like talking about my own relationship. Growing up I was taught that even KISSING my boyfriend first was wrong. That I couldn't go beyond holding hands. Mama had to tell me it was okay for a boy to kiss me or touch me as long as I was comfortable."
"What," Allison asked, "you never talked to anyone?"
"No," Annie said, "I don't I'm not comfortable with it. Even when I was younger, at your age I listened to my friends but never joined the conversation."
"I hate when you do the at your age crap," Allison snapped.
"I just feel old," Annie said.
"Your not mom old," Allison said.
"But I could be your mom," Annie said, "Bean, I love you. I over reacted the other night."
"You threw me out," Allison snapped.
"You didn't listen," Annie said, "Josh and I had plans. I know you are 100% responsible for Everly and amazing with her but staying with my dad he would want to take over and he's getting up there it's a lot for him."
"How old is he," Allison asked.
"80," Annie smiled, "he's good and healthy but he's getting older."
"You don't want me around all the time," Allison said.
"I want you around and to spend time with you," Annie said, "sometimes I don't manage my schedule well."
"Do you want me around," Allison asked.
"Always," Annie said, "we need to work out a better schedule. Allison I worry about you not seeing your friends. Sometimes I say no because I want you to be with your friends to learn to rely on yourself. You have to be happy spending time with your own thoughts. Allison I know Mama has talked to you about independence and I'm seeing you relying on us a lot to see other people. Bean, you need your friends."
"You're not listening," Allison said, "you think you know what's best for me you treat me like you treat Chris's kids instead of as your sister. Why can't we be real sisters?"
"We need to re-work things," Annie said, "I know I have to let you grow up. The other night I pushed you to grow up because that's what I thought you needed."
"No," Allison said, "and you're always perfect, you never argue with mom, she's never mad at you."
"We've had our disagreements, we still do," Annie said, "but we don't do it in front of you. My disagreements with Mama are between her and I. I might vent to Josh and she might vent to Uncle Owen but we don't ask them to solve it for us. I want you to talk to me directly when you're mad at me because I respect you. It's respect Allison. You go to the other person first then if you get no where you ask for help. I will talk to you directly if I'm worried about you or you've done something that bothers me I need the same respect from you."
"What about mom," Allison said.
"Allie no," Annie said, "there's been times I've wanted to but you came to me and you trusted me so I kept it between us. When you were partying and I picked you up a few times I know you lied to Mama about how you got home. The day we ran your pregnancy test I wanted to tell Mama as soon as I saw but I knew I couldn't. I kept that between us. I was so worried about you and knew you needed her but had to trust you would tell her in your own time. Allison I have that respect for you that you are going to make your own choices and have your own relationships. I need you to respect me and when I bother you or do something that you don't like you talk to me first before someone else."
"Why is it always be like Annie," Allison asked.
"Who says that," Annie asked.
"People," Allison said.
"Who," Annie pressed, "Mama and Uncle Owen, Josh and I, Nana, Megan and Nathan?"
"Just people," Allison said, "but you didn't want me."
"I was surprised," Annie said, "I thought she was single! She hadn't said anything to me at my graduation. The day before I found out she was having you I had done a 3 hour drive to Matigan with Uncle Owen to go get Megan and he didn't say a word to me either. He didn't know about you yet either but neither had said they were together and working things out. You were a great surprise. I knew before your dad."
"What," Allison asked.
"Mama doesn't know I'm telling you this," Annie said, "I knew before anyone else. I went to pour wine for Mama and I she said no which was weird because she likes wine."
"You drank with her before you were legal," Allison said.
"At that point I was 24," Annie replied, "but Mama and I would have a drink in BC starting when I was your age, we always did if I was legal there she would have a drink with me."
"Ever underage," Allison asked.
"That was Grey and Yang," Annie replied, "Kepner. They were residents. We had this big party Mama threw one to celebrate me finishing college and going to med school with the hospital family."
"I've heard there's a med school scholarship from the hospital," Allison said.
"There is," Annie replied, "I had it years ago, paid for half of med school. I'll help you with your application."
"You always assume that I need your help," Allison said.
"I'm offering," Annie said, "the other night I was really hurt when you told me you didn't want or need me. When you said you didn't love me that hurt. When you said that Jessica was right it took everything I had not to slap you in that moment because that has been my biggest fear with you since you were a baby that you would grow up to hate me two. Then the other night not respecting my boundaries when I said no that I had other plans that's where things with her started not listening to my boundaries. I was scared."
"I don't like being home alone and you called me a spoiled brat," Allison yelled.
"I shouldn't have called you that," Annie said, "I got angry and defensive and that isn't an excuse. When I got angry and I said things I shouldn't have Friday night."
"It's not fair you have all these special things you did with them before I was born," Allison said.
"I know," Annie said, "I've heard you before. You have lots of special things you guys do that I haven't been part of two."
"But you travelled with mom and I haven't," Allison said.
"She wanted to take you to New York but you didn't want to travel pregnant," Annie replied, "I get it."
"I want to travel," Allison said, "you saw Europe, you went to Haiti after I was born. You traveled in America with them."
"In Med school for conferences I would get student passes and she would fly me to ones she was going to," Annie said, "it was a way we could sneak in time together when she only had two weeks of leave a year."
"Two weeks a year together," Allison asked.
"Yes," Annie said, "that she was off. I would do what your starting to do now though I'd go to Germany for 10 days at a time a couple times a year. And she came to Boston for one week. We made it work. Conferences were a work thing but she would have to go and if it worked for me with school I would go. Crash in her hotel room. Allie you've had her every day."
"But you had another mom," Allison said.
"I did but it's not the same," Annie said, "I never felt like I fit. Not my dad or Chris as much but I was always different. I was the type of kid you make fun of. You and Leo would have laughed at me."
"Really," Allison asked.
"I was the biggest nerd," Annie said.
"Was," Allison asked.
"A bigger nerd," Annie said, "you were angry with me the other night why?"
"You were acting like a mom and not a sister," Allison said, "I wanted help and you wouldn't help me."
"Okay," Annie said, "what help do you need?"
"I'm lonely with out Asher and my friends have other lives," Allison said, "Ava is with Luke. Olivia is travelling Eden is with Jonah and they're busy, Carmen is completely on her own and has no time."
"What did you do last night," Annie asked.
"I watched movies," Allison said, "and painted my nails."
"Good," Annie said.
"I don't like being alone," Allison said, "what if Ev's shunt backs up or her heart gets worse."
"Then we will be there to help and Asher will come home," Annie said.
"You told me to grow up," Allison said.
"I didn't choose my words well," Annie said, "most days you do pretty well. You're 19, you and Asher support yourselves way more than I did at your age. You are a great mom and Everly is happy and thriving. I wanted you to make decisions about your menu on your own because your the one eating it. You don't need my approval for your choices because I love you. You could kill some one and I will help you hide the body. You were asking for my permission to eat and buy food. You don't need that. Do you have to ask Asher before you buy things?"
"We do the menu together and the grocery list," Allison said.
"But if you need say a box of tampons or shampoo do you have to ask if you can buy them," Annie asked, suddenly wondering if there was some control going on.
"No," Allison said.
"Clothes for you or Ev," Annie asked.
"Clothes are from my spending account," Allison said.
"Where does that money come from," Annie asked.
"My paycheck," Allison said, "we have a joint account that we both put 75% of our checks into. I have the other 25% for gas, clothes, school stuff, make up, getting my hair done. But essentials food, soap, shampoo is the family account."
"Who makes the menu decisions," Annie asked.
"Mom and dad cook for us two nights a week, Sunday dinner then we do four," Allison said.
"But who decides," Annie asked.
"We each do two," Allison said, "plan, the grocery list and cook, the other cleans."
"Fair," Annie said, "Allison do you have a voice? Do you get a choice?"
"In what," Allison asked.
"Anything," Annie asked.
"Everything," Allison said.
"Have you killed each other yet," Megan asked, coming down the stairs
"No," Annie said.
"Everything okay," Annie asked.
"Making sure you haven't committed miurder yet," Megan teased.
"Can we have some more time," Annie asked, "or is dinner ready?"
"Josh just put the burgers on," Megan said.
"We'll be up soon," Annie said.
Megan walked back up the stairs.
"What can I do," Annie asked.
"Actually listen and stop treating me like a little kid," Allison said.
"I will work on that," Annie agreed, "I'm sorry I overreacted and called you a brat. If you still need me Friday I can take Ev."
"I shouldn't have compared you to Jessica. I didn't know anything about the story. I shouldn't have said you sucked," Allison said, "I'm sorry."
"Appology accepted," Annie said, "we good?"
"Are you still mad at me," Allison asked.
"I was annoyed and hurt but I'm okay now," Annie said, "are you okay? Are you still angry?"
"No," Allison said, "can I have a hug?"
"Always," Annie said, "Miss Ev theres been less milk in her sippy cups."
"Slowly weaning my goal is by Christmas," Allison said.
"You're okay with it," Annie asked.
"It's my idea, she does better when I'm not around," Allison said.
"Mine did two," Annie said, "and we would get close and they would regress just follow her lead."
"I'm trying," Allison said.
"Ellie was nearly two and Heather was two before we were fully done," Annie said, "hug then we'll go up?"
"Yes," Allison said hugging Annie, "I do love you Nee I just get jealous sometimes."
"I love you bean," Annie replied, "it's okay to get jealous or upset. Feelings are feelings. I love you."