Asher had been back to work for a few weeks and Allison was finally cleared to drive again. She loaded Andy into his carseat in the back of her car and helped Everly in.
"Where are we going," Everly asked.
"Two stops today," Allison replied, "you both have paediatrician check ups with Dr. Reese then we're going to go do some back to school shopping for new school clothes for you."
"Paediatrician,' Everly whined.
"The back to school one you do every year," Allison replied, "he'll ask you a few questions, listen to your lungs and heart then we're done. He'll check up on Andy and we'll be done. Then where do you want to go get school clothes? What do you want to wear?"
"If I go back to my crutches I need more pants," Everly said.
"It's your choice," Allison replied.
"I like dresses that hide my legs and funny hip," Everly replied.
"Dresses and skirts it is," Allison agreed, "leggings and tights so your braces don't rub."
"Can I just not wear them," Everly asked, "do I really need them?"
"That depends on how hard you work," Allison replied, "we might be able to stop using them if you take physio more seriously and do it every day with full effort. But that's not dad and my decision baby girl."
"I don't like it," Everly replied.
"I know you don't," Allison replied, "we started doing it when you were a baby and it was hard. Ev you're old enough now to make some choices. We've stopped PT at school because it wasn't helping you and making you feel embarrassed. You don't have to do PE or running club in fifth grade so you have to do something more active. You are swimming for 90 minutes two times a week which is good but you need 3 more days a week of physical activity. You can pick but you have to do it and stick with it."
"What are the choices," Everly asked.
"You can try sitting volleyball, wheelchair basketball, wheelchair tennis, or sledge hockey," Allison listed, "dad and I found all of those locally. There's try it sessions in the next couple weeks before school starts we can go check them out."
"Janie and Tallia don't have to do sports," Everly argued.
"They have different limitations than you do," Allison replied, "you all have CP but it presents differently for all kids with it. The more you do the more you will be able to do. Dad and I want you to have all of the opportunities possible. What do you want to do in the fall?"
"Can we find an art class," Everly asked.
"What type of art," Allison questioned.
"I want to paint,' Everly replied.
"I'll look tonight and see what we can find," Allison agreed, "once a week? And you'll still do piano and choir?"
"Ya," Everly said, "will grandma and I still go to piano?"
"Yes and grandpa will take you to swimming once a week,' Allison replied, "but not until I go back to work in November or December. We'll see when I'm ready. I don't have to go back until December 1st so I'm going to try and stay home with you two as long as possible. Maybe come on a few field trips, volunteer at school in your class. Give us some time together. I miss having days home with you when I'm working."
"It's busy," Everly replied.
"It is," Allison agreed, "busy is good and you're doing a variety of things. Music, sports, hopefully art. The new sports are one game and one practice a week and should work with swimming."
"If I don't like them," Everly asked.
"You don't have to play but let's go try," Allison suggested, "go to the try it sessions and see how you feel. Everly with your school taking you out of PE we have to make sure you get enough exercise somewhere. We could do more swimming sessions as well and have you swim four days a week and race more."
"Why did they say I can't do gym," Everly asked.
"Because the program in 5th grade they can't adapt the same way," Allison replied, even though she didn't believe the school about that, she thought it was laziness on the teacher's part.
"What about Andy," Everly asked.
"After Christmas we'll start baby swimming lessons at six months old like we did with you," Allison smiled, "and add things as he's ready. Sports, kinder music. You did the same."
"Physio," Everly asked.
""If he needs it," Allison agreed, "just like you we'll get him what he needs."
"When will he talk," Everly asked.
"He'll start making more sounds soon," Allison replied, "a few more weeks and he'll really start to smile when he sees us. It's slow and gradual. You talked before you were one. Not full sentences but baby talk."
"What did I say," Everly asked.
"Mama, dada, pa and ma for grandma and grandpa," Allison smiled at the memory.
They pulled into the paediatrician's office ending the conversation. The appointments went well with both kids being healthy and it being a formality, their paediatrician knew Allison was doing her residency and trusted her judgement.
"School clothes," Allison said as they got back to the car.
"Justice," Everly suggested.
"We can look and I want to check Gap and Old Navy for both of you. Your basics are good from there," Allison replied, "would you want to try on a pair of overalls? They're back again and they could be comfortable and won't be pulled down by your braces like jeans get pulled down."
Everly shrugged
"Lunch," Everly asked.
"Where do you want to go," Allison asked.
"Red Robbins,' Everly suggested.
"We can do that," Allison agreed, they hadn't been going out much since Andy's birth but Everly needed the day to feel normal.
'What about Andy," Everly asked.
"I'll have to feed him at some point," Allison assured, 'and I know you don't love it. I can try a bottle but he's happier with me."
"Can you be fast and sneaky," Everly asked.
"I'll do my best," Allison promised.
"Why isn't it faster," Everly asked.
"Because he's still learning he's getting faster and my body is getting in a better rhythm with him but it takes time for both of us to learn each other," Allison explained, "I did it with you and you were a really slow eater until they put your shunt in."
"Why do they have to change it," Everly asked.
"It's routine," Allison assured, "we'll go home the next day. You're growing and you're going to out grow the tube that drains the extra fluid off your brain. So we're going to change the tube for a longer one to keep you healthy."
"Will it hurt," Everly asked.
"It might be sore for a few days and you can't wash your hair until the incision heals but it shouldn't be too bad," Allison replied, "it's surgery but Jenna will do it."
"Will I have a big scar,' Everly asked, "like my hips?"
"No," Allison replied, "it'll be small and hidden in your hair no one will ever see it. I have a couple scars, so does dad, Uncle Leo, Auntie Annie , and Auntie Meg have lots."
"Do I have to do this," Everly asked.
"We're going to do a planned revision while I'm on maternity leave so that we can make sure you are okay," Allison replied, "Ev this has to be done before you grow much more. I'd like it to be planned because it's safer for you to do a planned one."
"When," Everly asked.
"I'm going to talk to Jenna and see," Allison replied, "you'll probably miss a week or so of school and be out of sports for a couple weeks but long term it's better. You've been getting headaches and that's not a good sign for your shunt. Ev it's time."
"What if I don't want to," Everly asked, "it's my body."
"It is," Allison agreed, "right now dad and I have to make the final decision. There will be a point that it becomes a medical emergency and we have to do it. I'd rather do it soon and calmly."
"But it will hurt," Everly said.
"For a few days," Allison agreed, 'Ev it's not a choice. It's not pleasant and it's okay to be anxious and worried about it. Dad and I will go with you and be at the hospital with you the whole time. You will not be alone. I promise we will be with you."
"What if I don't wake up," Everly asked.
"The chances of that are so slim," Allison replied, 'and you;ll have the best experts we have. You will wake up."
"If I don't," Everly asked.
"I don't know what I would do. I'd miss you so much," Allison replied, "so would dad. But we're not talking like that, Ev."
"Can I be home schooled," Everly asked.
"No," Allison replied, "dad and I have to work and I'm not asking grandma and grandpa. You have to go to school and be with kids your age."
"Until you go back to work," Everly tried.
"No sweetheart," Allison answered, "I did my last semester of highschool at home because I was pregnant with you and school was really hard for me because kids teased me but it was lonely. I wish I had stayed in my classes longer and not taken online classes then. I should have been with my friends and tried but I was scared."
"Wouldn't dad have been there," Everly asked.
"No," Allison replied, "when we found out I was pregnant with you, your dad changed his apprenticeship plans and took a class online at night so he could start working in February instead of June so we had money to take care of you."
Allison pulled into the restaurant for lunch and put Everly's wheel chair by her car door, Everly was confident transferring herself out of the car now and didn't need assistance. Allison went to the opposite door and lifted the baby's car seat onto the stroller frame. Little man would be happy in his seat while they had lunch. Allison was often amazed at how much strollers and car seats had changed in the 10 years since they had Everly.
Allison and Everly chatted while they ate their lunches enjoying being together while Andy slept. Allison knew he would need to eat soon but was going to let him sleep for as long as she could, he had fussed most of the night and cluster fed from about 4 until midnight the night before and was over tired.
Annie walked into Megan's office, "you wanted the cardio update?"
"Yes," Megan replied, "and to talk to you about something."
"Last time you called me in here and said that you were promoting me," Annie replied.
"I want to train you to be chief," Megan replied.
"Not until my kids are all in college," Annie replied, "no they need me around. Heather misses me as it is."
"Annie consider it," Megan pushed.
"I don't want it," Annie replied, "Megan I don't want to be chief. I don't love running cardio, I took it because you were desperate. I don't like it and the politics. I got into medicine to help people, I chose peds cardio because I love helping kids. I never set out to be chief of anything. It's not me and it's not something I enjoy. I'm not proud of who I am in those settings when I have to be the hard ass chief. I hate babysitting squabbling surgeons, I did enough of that with my siblings and my kids. I hate the admin side and budgets and compliance reports."
"Do you want to step down," Megan asked.
"I do," Annie replied, "when you can find a new chief of cardio. I'll stay until you fill the position then go back to just running peds cardio. It's too big to have one person do peds and adults, it's too complex. I'm overseeing a department that goes from pre-natal care and foetuses to 100 year old patients. The needs are too vast. With in peds I need to create team leads more then I ever have. I want a prenatal / neonatal person, someone for older babies and toddlers, childrens and teens. They have different needs and different approaches. Megan we're too big to keep doing one size fits all cardio. Let people specialise and get really good at a something. In a day I can go from pace makers, to valves to a transplant and I enjoy the challenge but theres also limits to what one person can do and know. I can't keep asking my teams to do more and know more. I'd rather have people who are masters at something. Growing up papa used to say 'jack of all trades master of none', meaning if you learn them all you never really get good at one thing. Surgery has evolved so much in my career alone."
"I hear you," Megan said, "and this is why I want you where you are. You see the big picture here and support people becoming masters. You see the direction medicine is going and the big picture. Annie you don't see it in your self but you have a vision and will lead to it in your own way. You lead in a quiet unassuming way. Your mother directs and orders so does Owen and so do I to an extent, it's our training and military time but it doesn't fit the way the world is going."
"Megan I don't want the politics of chief," Annie replied, "even if I do it my way and keep building community I don't want the drama and politics. I don't want to handle everything that goes wrong, every crisis. My mental health I can't do it. I have to look out for my family and myself. I appreciate being considered but I'm not your best choice. I think Jenna is a better fit if you're looking for one of my class. Or maybe for the first time in the history of this hospital you look outside and bring in someone new and train them. We need a fresh perspective."
"Annie," Megan sighed.
'No," Annie replied, "Heather is already following along with a group I don't trust and."
Megan cut her off, "you don't want her to be a teen mom."
"I'm worried about this group, there's already self harm," Annie replied, "not Heather that I've seen but some of her friends. And I'm seeing her path and it's reminding me of Jessica. I need to be there more not less."
"I hear you," Megan replied, "we can separate the two sides of cardio again and I'll look for someone or you can stay as head but create your team leads for each age group to take the pressure off you."
"Separate," Annie declared.
"Annie, I want to retire one day," Megan replied.
"I understand that," Annie replied, "but I'm not the only solution. It's time to look outside our family. The hospital needs a new perspective. It's time to go beyond this building and bring in some new people to lead. Someone who can see the big picture from the outside."
"Annie," Megan tried.
"No," Annie replied, "I don't want it. It's not my path. I want a different life than that. I could do it but I don't want to."
"Why not," Megan challenged.
"Because I've seen the physical and mental toll it's taken on you and mama," Annie replied, "never being off, always having to have your phone on. I don't want that, for my well being for my family, my marriage that's not my path. It's not letting anyone down or hurting mama's legacy it's recognizing what is best for my family. It was best for yours but not for mine. I want to move more to teaching and mentoring. I like teaching and mentoring more than admin work. I'd like to take over the residency program one day. I'm not chief of surgery, that's not how I like to lead. I want to coach residents and come alongside them and build them up. As chief it's like when dad was a principal I'm the disciplinarian, the problem solver the bad guy. I don't like that role, I've been mean old mom enough at home."
"I hear you," Megan said, "and Annie, you know your mind and what's best for you. I wanted to talk to you first but you're not my only thought. Jenna is ready as well and if she doesn't want it we'll look around."
"Open applications," Annie suggested, "let those who want it apply. It might surprise you."
"Maybe," Megan agreed.