Time for some idiots we all know and hate, and recall that "Helluva Loud Adventures" takes place after the No Such Luck thing, so it means the episode "Legends" never happened, so you guys know who Lincoln and the others might be facing. Thank you "Brenthenewfan2020" for this idea and concept. Enjoy reading folks.
Helluva Loud Adventures.
(Royal Woods Mall.)
The grocery store in the mall is where we're at and right now we got the crew of I.M.P and they are looking okay and calm with the groceries they got.
"Thank Satan the place was on sale! Now the chicken is more affordable and glad I grabbed ten of them!" said Blitzo. He is carrying bags of chicken and is feeling quite happy with himself.
"Glad we got you out of there before the poultry section was mobbed" said Lincoln. "That was way too close."
"True to that, I mean they wouldn't wanna have some red meat on the white meat" said Luna.
Blitzo snickers. "Oh come on, the red meat is good and I'm sure the folks would've been fine with my red meat all over the white meat, if you know what I mean."
Moxxie scoffs. "Sir, that is very unpleasant and unnecessary to say, and thank goodness no one heard you."
"Well, excuse me for trying to make this day a bit better than yesterday" replied Blitzo. "I am so glad we dealt with Loo Loo Land, maybe next time we should take our business to Lu Lu World."
"As if we can even afford it, even that place seems a bit on the chart with the prices, it is Lucifer's theme park after all" replied Loona, she is carrying a lot more bags. "So, you guys wanna grab something to eat?"
"Sure, I could use something to eat, and right now I am craving for some curly fries" replied Millie.
"Same here" said Lincoln. "Along with a bacon cheese burger and a milkshake." But then they hear some screaming, the kind of screaming that sounds like someone is being harassed. "What the fuck?"
"Dudes, did that sound like Jackie and Mandee?" asked Luna.
"Who now?" asked Blitzo.
"The two girls who are friends with Leni" replied Lucy.
"Oh right them, the blonde and the racecar driving chick right?" asked Blitzo. They ignore him and go over and see what was wrong.
They then spot the two girls at Reiningers and are being harassed as they both try out some clothes, they both wanna go to change but two large guys are blocking their way. Two guys who look like trouble.
"Leave us alone you perverts!" said Jackie. "We're just trying to try on some clothes!"
"Take you're creepy business elsewhere and get lost!" said Mandee.
The two guys, one is a father and the other is his son and they chuckle at the sight of the two teens.
"Oh we'll leave you girls be, if you let us be the judges of the clothes your wearing."
"Yeah, also I'd like to know you girls, you both seem like single girls for some man like me."
Who are they? Stan and Steak Stankco, they usually live elsewhere in Michigan, but it looks like they're on some kind of father and son road trip and Royal Woods is they're next pit stop.
"I may be married and all, but a couple of ladies like you could use some company." Stan then shows off his large muscles. "Some awesome and manly company!"
"We're top winners five times this year from the Buff Man Competition! And we are the top of the game and totally not losers!" Steak also shows his muscles.
But Jackie and Mandee are not amused. "You done being meat headed dorks? Because that is not even close to even making us like you, and likewise we never will" said Jackie.
"You two are nothing more than some annoying sad saps looking for girls, and you said your married and I bet you'll lose that marriage by the time you go back to whatever dorky town made you two" said Mandee. "Now, get lost!"
"Hey, we're cool and awesome winners. We even won that Legends show and beat the two dorks who were part of it" said Steak.
"And if you don't like the muscles of buffness, then maybe you'd like a closer look" said Stan.
Jackie and Mandee back away. "Leave us alone you weirdoes!"
Then Mrs. Carmichael comes over. "What on earth is going on here?" She then sees Jackie and Mandee. "Are you girls okay?"
"We were, until these two perverts showed up!" said Mandee.
"What? No way, we're friends and they know us" said Steak.
Mrs. Carmichael can tell what kind of folks they are. "Alright, I want you two out of my store now, or I will call the mall cops, or better yet the police."
"Ha! As if, we can't be stopped. We're the Stankcos and we are certified winners! And with a capital S on the certified!" said Stan.
The girls are confused from this. "Did he just misspells certify?" asked Jackie.
"We're not causing any trouble ma'am, just talking to our new friends here" said Steak. "You can go off and do what you tall middle-aged ladies do."
Mrs. Carmichael is deeply offended by this. "What did you say to me?! I am not middle-aged!"
"Whoa! Easy there lady, my kid just didn't know" said Stan. "We're not doing anything bad here, we're just guys on tour of the town and this is the best spot there is to get some….. Pretty friends."
Jackie and Mandee are disgusted. "You know what? We'll take these and go, we're not in the mood to do any more shopping right now" said Jackie.
"The sight of these two stinkcos is enough to make anyone's day bad" said Mandee. They then follow Mrs. Carmichael to the register.
Stan chuckles. "Come on, we're not doing anything wrong, just us and two girls here who wanna have some fun and we can show them how to have some awesome fun, Stankco style!" He then head butts with his son.
The rest of the demons crew sees this and are not amused. "Jeez. Didn't think Royal Woods had some bad perverted dorks, and dumb ones too" said Moxxie.
"Because they're not from here" said Lincoln, Luna and Lucy. Lincoln and Luna are both angered and have their eyes glowing red, but Lincoln's are brighter and he is ready to strike.
The Stankcos then follow the girls. "Where are you ladies going? We were just having some fun" said Stan.
"And we're just getting started!" Steak then raises the skirts of the girls and slaps them where they don't like it, and this makes them red angry.
"What the hell are you doing to us?!"
Lincoln then calls them out. "Hey fuckers!"
They both turn around and see the boy. Lincoln cracks his beck and has his gloves ready to arm the claws. "Leave. Them. Alone. Get the hell out of this mall, and out of this town, or I'll run you two out of town! Like a bat outta hell!"
Stan and Steak chuckle at the kid. "Why don't you get out of town, or we'll be the ones to run you over instead?!" said Steak.
"Ha! Spoken like a true loser!" said Steak. They both head butt each other and laugh.
Lincoln smirks at them. "The funny thing about you two, is how much you both have such little to know minds of what the hell is even going on around here. You two think it was so wise to come to our town, and pick on some girls who are minding their own business, well, I find it quite stupid and also wrong."
"And in my eyes, there's nothing more I hate than a bunch of perverted maniacs who deserve one thing, a nice and lovely trip in a box floating down the river and down the water falls of the burning hells, and that would be you two meat headed, moronic idiots!"
Jackie and Mandee giggle at this. "Sick burn!" Even Mrs. Carmichael, Fiona and Miguel chuckle at this.
This angers the Stankcos, and before Steak can speak, Stan does it. "What did you call me you runt?!"
Lincoln chuckles. "Come at me, motherfucker? Or, do you need to ask your wife for permission to hit a kid?"
That was a boiling point and Stan charges at Lincoln at full speed like a mad bull.
Lincoln waits for the right moment and so when he sees it, he steps to the side and this makes Stan slip onto the wet floor and hit the side of the wall near the restrooms.
He then gets back up and sees Lincoln and the kid picked a good day to wear a black trench coat with red streaks and he waves it around like a matador. "Ole, el toro del stupido."
Stan goes on all fours and he roars (and sounds) like a bull and he charges at Lincoln.
Steak does the same to flank him, which Luna sees and she grabs a nearby can from the trash. "Linc, heads' up!" She tosses the can and it hits Steak in the head making him stumble.
Lincoln then moves out of the way and Stan collides with his son and both of them are on the ground and groaning in pain.
Stan then gets up and he grabs his kid. "Get him son!" He throws Steak who gets ready to attack.
But then Lincoln ducks and Loona slams the kid in the head with a lid of a trash can and then she gets him off and she throws him back to Stan.
Steak hits his dad like paper to a brick wall and falls down. "Wait a minute!" He looks at them. "The demons from the news?! What the heck?!"
"Oh look he has a brain and he observed things too" said Millie. "And I thought his head was made of meat and no mind."
"Well, to me I thought they had they're balls in their brains" said Moxxie.
"Some part of me thought that they're heads have been exposed for so long in the heat, that they fried and dried up into shriveled up prunes" said Lucy. She then high fives and fist bumps with her mom and dad.
Blitzo smirks. "After seeing them bash their heads in, I think they swapped brains. So, which one of you is the dad again?"
Loona chuckles. "Assholes."
Stan gets angry. "Son, get up!" steak gets up immediately. "Lets' get em!"
"Freeze!" The two men see the cops have arrived. "Hands where we can see em Stankcos and we got tons of calls that range to every town from here all the way to the place you two came from, Alpena and boy do you two scum bags have hell to pay!" said Officer Tristen.
They brought in some SWAT to subdue them and they take up positions and the patrons of the mall back up and watch this from a distance and also record the standoff between the Stankcos against the cops and the demon crew of I.M.P.
"We are not going down! That kid made us look stupid and those demons made us look stupid!" said Stan in total anger.
"Dude, you guys did it to yourselves and also, you both sounded stupid since the day you guys got here" said Luna. She then high fives and fist bumps with Loona.
"Some part of me thinks, since the day they were born" said Blitzo. "So, which one of you was dropped by the doctor?"
Stan is now seeing a nuke bomb in his eyes and Steak is seeing a campfire being stomped in his eyes. "That's it, you're all dead!"
They all charge at them at full speed, the cops are about to shoot.
But then, Lincoln and Loona rush forward.
Lincoln leaps over Steak and he uses his claws to trim the top off his mohawk and then he goes under and slashes at his left foot and then he grabs the back of the mean kids shirt and tosses him to the ground and pins him with his claws pointing at his neck.
Loona goes underneath Steak and then goes behind him and kicks him in the balls, the man goes down and cringes in pain. She then grabs him by the back of his shirt and she tosses him to the wall, he bounces off the wall and that's when Lincoln leaps away and he lands on his son.
The cops then go over and they begin to cuff them. "Wow. Nice one guys, also we'll make sure every town is told of this and then they can file law suits on these two" said Officer Schoffner.
"No problem, I don't like idiots who mess with others who are minding their own damn business" said Lincoln.
"I just don't like asshole perverts, reminds me too much of my mistakes with them" said Loona.
Everyone watches the cops take the Stankcos away. "This isn't over kid and demons! We'll be back! The Stankcos are not losers and we do not lose, especially to demons and white-haired kids!" said Stan.
"You're dead when I get my hands on you! Then I'm gonna make you eat those claws!" said Steak.
"What kind of fucked up name is Stankcos anyway?" asked Blitzo. "What? Were they made by a dumpster?" Some of the folks chuckle at his joke. "Hah! I am still funny, suck on that Robo Fizz!"
The cop cars drive off with the Stankcos and everyone goes back to their own business in the mall.
Lincoln then sees Jackie and Mandee go to them. "You girls okay?"
They then hug him, and he smiles and hugs them back. "Yeah, you're both fine."
They then depart from the hug. "Thanks Linc, that was kinda brave and the same goes with your family too" said Jackie.
"We didn't think those two would leave, or if they'd end up following us home" said Mandee. "Thanks for saving us Linc, and possibly the rest of this town from them."
"I did what I had to, also we heard you guys scream as we walked by" said Lincoln. Then he asks. "We're not gonna have sex again are we?"
Jackie and Mandee look to each other. "Umm, no. I mean, we did it once with you, but from what we recall it was the Alpha Gene thing you had and right now we're not tempted" said Mandee.
Jackie blushes. "Even if you were so good, gentle and kinda, awesome at it." Then she snaps out of it. "But, we don't plan do it. We're just so thankful you came and got us out of that mess and put those two Stinkers where they belong."
Lincoln sighs in relief. "Okay then, well, have fun with the rest of your shopping." Then he sees the dresses they got. "Also, add some sashes to the waist line of the dresses and then they'll look good on you, and I learned that one from Leni."
Jackie and Mandee smile hearing that. "Thanks Linky." They then kiss him on the cheek and this makes him chuckle.
"Okay, okay. Also, something you girls need to know. Leni passed her final test, and now she'll be headed to school, well next month probably." He then picks up the grocery bags, along with the others.
Jackie and Mandee are shocked to hear this. "Wait what?!"
"You heard him right dudes" said Luna as she walks by. "Just text Leni, chances she forgot since she had a celebration party for her going back to high school. Catch you dudes on the flip side."
Jackie and Mandee watch as the three kids and the demons walk out of the mall and then they look to each other. "We have to call Leni, and tell Carol and Dana and Becky!"
Fiona and Miguel heard this, and they recall Leni was one of their best customers who was so good at giving out advice to customers who were buying stuff, and they also called her, friend.
Outside; "That went well" said Millie. "Also, even though that Hellhound Alpha Trait wasn't at effect, I could tell that Jackie and Mandee might have some hots for you, Linc."
"She's not wrong, I saw Jackie blush at you" said Moxxie.
Lucy snickers. "Linc, I think even without the trait, they still recall what you did."
"You plan to call them again, tiger er wolf?" chuckled Blitzo, and this makes the others chuckle as well.
Lincoln sighs. "Oh go such on a dick Blitzo."
"Did that and didn't like it" said Blitzo. "Still, this whole not planning to get a relationship thing is uh, not gonna end soon is it? I mean, you got Jordan and Cristina on to ya, and let's not forget that Asian girl at Great Lakes City and then there's the two teens who you slept with? Looking for a harem boy?"
Luna smirks. "Come on bro, ignore them. Just be grateful those two are gone and not doing any more trouble."
"They fucking come back, and try to hurt you, I'm gonna gut them and make them cry" said Loona.
Lincoln chuckles. "Oh, I'd do that too mom, because I was so tempted to rip them apart, piece by piece." They then open the portal back to hell and begin to walk through.
"If we do get a hit to kill those two Stankcos, you guys wanna go all out and butcher them?" asked Blitzo.
The others respond. "Fuck yeah."
To be continued…..
A/N: I would like to thank "Brenthenewfan2020" for this, even though his original concept was not like this, I thought it would be right for the law to catch them, and who knows, maybe they will face them again, or they will kill them should someone in hell want them dead. Anyone got an idea for that one, or just have the Stankcos come back for payback? Leave a review and tell me what you all think.
Date made: 12/14/20.