Disclaimer: I don't own Rent-A-Girlfriend. All I own are my original ideas and characters. So, don't sue. Wouldn't get a damn thing if you tried anyways.
A/N 1: This is another rent-a-girlfriend story that popped into my head one day as I was rewatching the show. This story will take story beats from the show and rearrange them for the story I'm trying to tell. You'll see what I mean soon enough.
A/N 2: If Sumi seems out of character, then you need to read the story synopsis again. She is bolder in this story, because as much as I like her characterization on the show, it just wouldn't work for this story. Plus, I had a certain scene in my head for this story that absolutely required her to be bolder. You'll find out what that is soon enough.
A/N 3: As for the fish knowledge, I simply searched up fish near Japan, and went with the one that seemed coolest off Wikipedia. So, if it's wrong or feels out of place, now you know why.
A/N 4: While this story will start off innocent enough, this may still have a lemon or a few lemons down the line. You have been warned.
A/N 5: There is a joke in the Movie Magic sequel that I am working on that kind of references this story, and this story has a joke that references that one. You'll see when I finish Movie Magic 2. It should be finished, if all goes well, sometime this year, although when has yet to be determined. If you liked the original story, then stay tuned. Because you are going to love Movie Magic 2.
A/N 6: All that said, if you enjoy this chapter, let me know in a review. Also, follow and favorite the story, and for my AO3 views, kudo it as well (only if you like it, of course).
Untold Love Story
Chapter 1: A Chance Meeting
Kazuya is in his apartment, looking at his phone, tears rolling down his face.
It's been 6 days since Mami broke up with me. She tried to let me down gently, but it still hurts like hell. At least I haven't seen her since. I don't know what I'd do if I did.
Kazuya, scrolling on his social media page, suddenly gets an ad for the Diamond rent-a-girlfriend service.
*sigh* If only I could rent my problems away. Even if I did have some fun with a woman for a few hours, I'd just go back to being miserable afterwards. Besides, what the hell would people think if me, a virgin loser whose only girlfriend he's ever had just broke up with him out of nowhere, was suddenly seen with a beautiful woman on his arm, especially if it wasn't, well, real?
Kazuya thinks about it some more before deciding to scroll though Diamond's catalog anyways.
Still, I have been in a funk lately, and my friends and family have been laughing under their breaths. Maybe this will finally get them to shut up for a while. Why the hell did I introduce Mami to my friends and family anyways? That was a bad idea from the start.
Kazuya looks though the profiles of various women.
This Ruka lady looks pretty, and she seems fine enough. I don't know though. I'm getting a strange feeling that she'd be clingy. Maybe I'll look at some other profiles. Still, I'll keep her in mind.
Scrolling a little more, Kazuya is surprised to see a familiar face in the catalog.
Is that Chizuru Ichinose? I mean, it says Chizuru Mizuhara, but I'd know that smile anywhere. If she wasn't my neighbor and sort-of friend, I would date her in a second. It'll be awkward as hell if she knows that I know about her job. I'll have to pretend I don't know. Still, if I get desperate enough, I'll keep her in mind as well. Still, damn if she's not one of if not the hottest woman I've ever seen. I would definitely have sex with her if the opportunity arose. DAMN!
Continuing to look though Diamond's site, Kazuya stops and does a double take at the woman's profile he's currently going through.
Huh? This Sumi person looks cute, but why is she blushing in her profile picture? Now I'm interested.
Kazuya reads Sumi's profile.
"Sumi Sakurasawa. This shy girl will do her best to give you the best date possible, even if she will be blushing 90% of the time. A freshman in college, Sumi is working to better herself. Anyone interested should book a date right away, as she is our second most popular rookie. Don't let her shyness discourage you. And remember, she's here for YOU!"
Kazuya, even in his somewhat broken state, has to cringe at the profile.
Even if all of that is true, it's not painting her in the best light. Poor girl. She deserves better than that.
Determined to meet the woman in question, Kazuya signs up for the site and books a date for the following morning. He wants to meet someone who is almost in the same situation as him. Being kicked when they are already down. Even if she herself signed up for this job, nobody should have to put up with that shit. After signing up for the site and booking the date, he receives a text from Sumi through the number that Diamond has assigned her. The text is simple, asking where to meet up and what he looks like and what he'll be wearing. After answering the questions, Sumi sends Kazuya a text back saying that she'll be there at the assigned time but warned him that she is bringing a friend with her to make sure that he's safe to be around. Understanding completely, Kazuya sends a text back saying that he understood, and the conversation ends.
That makes sense. Don't want these women to get hurt. Still wonder who her friend is that she's bringing. Oh well, no sense in worrying about it. I'll find out tomorrow. I'm getting a little excited to meet this Sumi woman. Maybe I'll finally find someone who understands me. In any case, it'll take my mind off of…her.
Kazuya, drying his eyes, answers nature's call, pulls out the outfit he will be wearing tomorrow, along with the cologne his grandmother gave him on his last birthday, and hits the sack. He's so excited that he has to 'drain the snake' twice before sleep finally comes to him.
8 hours later, Kazuya wakes up with a smile, having had the best dream he's ever had. He gets ready for his date, as paid for as it is. He showers, puts on his clothes, brushes his teeth, combs his hair, and finally puts on the cologne. He gives himself a glance using his mirror, and, satisfied that he's acceptable looking, grabs his wallet and keys and leaves his apartment. He stops for a moment and glances at Chizuru's door.
Weird. She's usually shuffling around her apartment at this time, or already out the door. Oh well. I have other, more important things to worry about.
Without another thought, Kazuya leaves the apartment complex and makes his way over to the aquarium, where he told Sumi to meet him at 10am. Figuring that he should be punctual for his date, he arrives 5 minutes early.
Okay, so I'm looking for a pink-haired cutey. Shouldn't be too hard to spot. Considering that she's so shy, I wonder how this is going to go. How am I going to break the ice with her? I guess that must be another reason she's bringing her friend along.
Kazuya looks up when he hears a familiar voice.
Wait, was that Chizuru? No, I must just be imagining it. After all, why would she be here? I mean, it is an aquarium, so it's not impossible. Still, those odds are so low that it's almost laughable.
"So, who did you say this date was with again? It never hurts to know. Just in case" says Voice 1.
Much quieter, Voice 2 says, "Kazuya Kinoshita."
"Kazuya Kinoshita? Why does that name sound so familiar?" asks Voice 1.
The conversation dies down for a moment before Voice 1 says, suspiciously, "Wait…No…it couldn't be…could it?"
Kazuya looks at the two people when they come into view, and when he does, he's just as shocked as one of the voices.
"No…way…" says Chizuru, looking at her neighbor in shock.
Kazuya shakes his head. Still flabbergasted, he asks, "Chizuru, is that you?"
Chizuru nods her head. Standing next to her is Sumi, blushing up a storm. Kazuya looks at Chizuru, then at Sumi. He damn near bursts when he gets a look at his date for the morning.
Sumi, being a professional as well, is dressed in her Sunday best. She is wearing a blue blouse, a black skirt, a blue parka, and black high heels. She is also wearing a blue bra and panties, not that Kazuya can see that. Her makeup isn't anything special, but even with her ever consistent blush, she's still one of the cutest people Kazuya has ever seen. Kazuya is almost having second thoughts about trying to get over Mami with someone so…innocent. Nonetheless, he booked this date, and come hell or high water, he's going through with it. He owes it to Sumi as much as he owes it to himself.
Don't want all of her hard work to go to waste, after all. Chizuru's too. You know, between the two of them, I'm having a hard time deciding who's more beautiful. Chizuru with her natural hotness, or Sumi with her cuteness. Damn, why can't I have them both? Another time, another place, I guess.
Sensing Sumi too nervous to speak, right away anyways, and sensing some…weirdness from Kazuya, Chizuru clears her throat and says, "Well, this is awkward as all hell."
Sumi and Kazuya turn their attentions towards Chizuru.
"Sumi, I would like you to meet my neighbor and kind-of friend, Kazuya. Kazuya, I would like you to meet Sumi, a dear friend of mine. She's really shy, but she'll open up in time, as long as you treat her well. Sumi, Kazuya may seem like a dork, who's horny all the time, but he has a heart of gold, and isn't one to take advantage of a woman. He's perfectly safe. Besides, I know martial arts, and I know where he lives. If he does anything to you, he won't be living for very long."
Sumi giggles at the threat, while Kazuya puts up his hands.
"I wouldn't do anything like that. No need to kick my ass!"
Chizuru smiles and chuckles at that.
"I know you wouldn't. Anyways, I think it's time for me to go."
Seeing the confused look on Kazuya's face, Chizuru says, "I'm only here to make sure it's safe for Sumi. I'm doing this as a favor for her, since there have been a few troublemakers for her in the past. Plus, I got curious when she mentioned she was going out on a date with someone I might know. Turns out she was right. Must have remembered me talking about you. Do with that what you will."
Chizuru says that last part with a smirk. Turning on her heel, she walks away without another word, leaving Kazuya with his jaw slightly dropped, and Sumi, red-faced and giggling.
Closing his mouth, Kazuya takes another look at Sumi, unsure how this whole thing works and how to proceed.
Well, Chizuru talking about me aside, for now, because I will figure out why later, I need to break the ice with Sumi. Should we just go inside? That might be best.
"Well, let me officially introduce myself. I'm Kazuya Kinoshita. And you must be Sumi Sakurasawa. It's a pleasure to meet you. Shall we go inside?"
Sumi nods and follows Kazuya inside, where he pays for admission. He also hands his payment to Sumi, who blushes before pulling out her wallet from her purse, and putting said payment in there, before returning the wallet to her purse.
"Sorry, I wasn't sure when it would have been a good time to do that, before or after the date. Anyways, I'll try not to bore you with my fish knowledge" says Kazuya.
Sumi nods and walks with Kazuya for a while, listening to him drone on and on about the various aquatic attractions. Much to his surprise, though, she doesn't seem bored. Quite the opposite, even. Sumi looks more and more interested as time passes. In fact, his fish knowledge seems to be relaxing her, her blush slowly ebbing from her face. Kazuya sighs and stops in one of the exhibits that are empty at the moment. Sumi looks at him confused.
Rubbing the back of his head, Kazuya says, "Sumi, I must tell you something. I wouldn't feel right otherwise. The reason I booked a date with you is because my ex-girlfriend dumped me like a bad habit exactly one week ago, and I just needed to get out of this funk. When I saw your profile, my first thought was whoever the hell wrote that didn't put you in the best light and needs to be shot out of a cannon. My thought after that, though, is that you might be the one person who can understand me on a level nobody else can. I know that sounds like I'm using you, because I am. And if you want to call off the rest of this date, you're free to do so."
Sumi looks at Kazuya, surprised, not expecting him to feel guilty about dating her for the morning. It's definitely a first for her, and it's throwing her for a loop. After a moment, she gets a determined look on her face.
She gathers her courage and speaks for the first time on this date.
"Th-This is a first. I wasn't expecting you to come into this date with a guilty conscious. Nonetheless, there is no need for you to feel guilty. You wouldn't be the first person to use the service to get over someone else. Besides, you are a nice guy and fun to be around. You are, by far, the best client I've ever had. So please cheer up."
Sumi, mustering up even more of her courage, interlocks Kazuya's arm with her own, and kisses him on the cheek.
"Now, can you tell me what this fish is called again?" asks Sumi, looking to get the date back on track.
Now Kazuya is the one standing there surprised. He can't believe his luck. Not only did this date not piss Sumi off, but she seems to be having fun on it. Plus, she's doing her best to cheer him up. Part of him knows that she wouldn't be a rental girlfriend if she didn't try, as that's a part of her job. That said, kissing him on the cheek was most certainly not part of the job. It's almost like she genuinely cares about him. What he can't figure out though is why.
"Sumi. I appreciate the gesture, but there is no need to be so kind to me right now. I know I'm a loser, and not the funest person to be around. Hell, most days I can barely call myself a man. It's no wonder my previous girlfriend broke up with me" says Kazuya, sadness evident in his voice.
Kazuya shakes his head and says with a little bit more oomph, "Sorry. Didn't mean to drag the mood down. Uh, to answer your question, that fish is a Red dragonet, native to the Indian Ocean and the western Pacific Ocean where it occurs at depths of from 70 to 600 meters (230 to 1,970 ft). Males of this species reaches a length of 17 centimeters (6.7 in) SL while females only reach 13 centimeters (5.1 in) SL. This species is of commercial importance to local fisheries. It's pretty uncommon to see in an aquarium."
Sumi frowns. She knows that she is still not used to being a rental girlfriend, and that she needs to work on her shyness. However, she is doing her best to cheer her client up, even talking to him like a normal person would, and he's still debasing himself. She is a bit mad at Kazuya for not being in a better mood, but she is more mad at whomever put the idea that he's a loser in his head. She wasn't lying when she said that he's nice and fun to be around, and that he's the best client she's ever had. Sumi is usually too shy to talk on dates, and on the rare occasions that she does, she always tries to be nice. This situation, however, has her at her boiling point. She's just unsure how to express it without embarrassing the both of them and without causing a scene.
"Kazuya, I want to know something. Who put it in your head that you are a loser?" asks Sumi.
Kazuya can see the angry look on Sumi's face, and can hear the anger in her voice, as quiet as that voice may be. He knows that he should trend carefully, but he can't help himself. He answers as truthfully as possible, feeling that he can trust Sumi. Even if in the back of his mind, he knows that he'll probably never see her again after this date, so it doesn't really matter regardless.
"Where do I start? My grandma and grandpa started our family business. My grandpa died when I was young, so my grandma had to run the family business by herself, while taking care of my father and me. In our family, she's like a goddess. And our goddesses' wish is to see me happy with a girlfriend. All throughout high school, every time I'd ask a girl out on a date, I would get rejected. I never had the best social life to begin with, and while I did have friends, I was always bullied regardless. So, when I left for college, I was surprised to meet some people who, while they can be dickish, are true friends to me as well. Shortly after I met them, they introduced me to this woman who had just transferred to the college. I was smitten with her, so I asked her out. To my surprise, she said yes. We dated for a month. We went everywhere together, amusement parks, Karaoke, restaurants, you name it. One day, I even introduced her to my family and friends from high school who stayed in the area. Needless to say, my family was shocked. They welcomed her with open arms and asked me what I did to brainwash her to get her to go out with me. Jokingly of course. It was all going smooth until one day, she just dumped me for no apparent reason. She claims to have fallen in love with someone else, but I haven't seen her with anyone else. I think she just got tired of being with me. So, all that being said, it's hard to see myself as anything but a virgin loser. Even my ex-girlfriend didn't want to have sex with me, and just dumped me."
Kazuya has tears rolling down his cheeks as he recalls his life story. Sumi looks around, and noticing people coming towards the exhibit, gently guides Kazuya towards the staircase, where people rarely go. Once they arrive there, Sumi pats Kazuya on the back, trying to comfort him as best that she can. When Kazuya's tears don't stop, Sumi starts rubbing his back and tells him, "It's okay. Let it all out." Kazuya cries for the next half-hour, the tears refusing to stop. Finally, he starts hiccupping, the tears slowing down tremendously. Sumi pulls out some tissues from out of her purse and dries Kazuya's eyes before cleaning up his face. She puts another tissue in front of his nose, and he blows into it, the tissue nearly ripping from the force. Sumi leaves the staircase for a moment to throw the used tissue away before returning to Kazuya's side.
"Kazuya, it sounds like you haven't had an easy life. I can sort of relate. I was always picked on for being so shy. I would always have to present reports and the like after school, because I was that shy. It was a pain for both me and my teachers. I took this job to try to better myself, so I could get over my shyness. I can't escape my shyness even here it seems, as most of my clients have complained that I don't speak to them on dates. I've only been able to speak on one or two dates, and even then, it was shallow conversations at best. Nothing like this. Even though I was shy here too, you managed to get me to talk like a normal person. A normal girlfriend even. I wasn't lying when I said you're the best client I've even had. So, thank you. You were patient with me. Perhaps you were right. I was the only person who can understand you at a level no one else can. Because you certainly are that for me."
Sumi kisses Kazuya's cheek again, and this time, she sees the response she wants. Kazuya's face lights up with a blush and a humble, embarrassed smile.
Grabbing Kazuya's hand, Sumi asks, "Now, why don't we get something to eat? I'm getting a little hungry and you could use a recharge. Oh, and don't worry about the time. I know that Diamond books by the hour, but you're my only date today and it's up to our discretion whether or not we want to extend the date and whether or not we want to charge extra for it. I feel like we are really connecting, so I'll be with you for however long you want today and for free too. Other than what you've already paid me, that is. Oh, and it's my treat."
Kazuya stands up, Sumi doing the same. They walk down the stairs to the exit and walk out of the building. They make their way over to the nearest Yoshinoya restaurant, where they order beef rice bowls and some sodas, a Pepsi for Kazuya, and a Mountain Dew for Sumi.
"So, Sumi, I heard you are going to college. Which one are you going to and what are you studying?" asks Kazuya.
Sumi swallows down a bite of her food. The site of her swallowing sends a shiver down Kazuya's spine and turns on the fantasy part of his brain. He quickly shakes his head and closes his eyes, berating himself for mentally deflowering such an innocent young lady. Sumi notices this reaction, confused at first before understanding comes to her eyes.
I see. I was warned that Kazuya was horny all the time. He must have imagined him and me having sex. The way he looks now, it looks like he's berating himself. Interesting. I didn't think I had the power to turn anyone on. I must be attractive for him to have had any fantasy about me. I should be disgusted, or at least worried, but I'm actually kind of flattered.
Sumi giggles. Kazuya looks at her, confused.
"What's so funny?" asks Kazuya.
Sumi smiles and says, "Oh. I've just never seen anyone turned on by me. Either everyone is annoyed by my shyness or otherwise indifferent to me."
Kazuya blinks and asks, "So, you're not upset?"
Sumi shakes her head and says, "No. Maybe I should be, but I'm actually quite flattered. This is a first. You know, if it wasn't banned by the company, I may have actually considered having sex with you."
Kazuya's jaw drops at the revelation.
"Well, maybe if I ever quit the rental business and you and I become a real boyfriend and girlfriend, we could. I wouldn't mind that actually. You're not the only virgin at this table after all."
Kazuya's jaw remains dropped, and for the first time in his life, he is completely speechless. Even his thoughts are frozen. Sumi, not surprised by Kazuya's reaction, simply continues eating her meal. It takes Kazuya several minutes to close his jaw and regain his brainpower.
"That's the first time anybody has not been disgusted by my almost uncontrollable libido. It's a damn shame this is just a rental date, otherwise, I'd show you just how much I appreciate all you've done for me today. DAMN!"
Sumi laughs, feeling more relaxed than ever. For some strange reason, she regrets that this is just a rental date as well. More than just the possibility of sex, Sumi can feel the connection she has with Kazuya. Like this is who she's supposed to be with all along. Still, work is work, and rules are rules.
Kazuya laughs along with her, finally feeling a sense of companionship that's he's been longing for. To him, he couldn't have asked for a better date. He just hopes that he doesn't fall for her for real. Like he did for…
Nope. Not even going there. I'm having the best time with Sumi right now. There is no need to think about her right now. None.
Sumi, seeing Kazuya's expression change from happy to a mixture of sad and longing, and knowing what he must be thinking about to cause said change, quickly says, "I'm going to Kyoto University. I'm studying to be a historian."
Kazuya smiles and says, "A historian, huh? You must love knowing dates and stuff. It's fairly easy to remember what happened, but a hell of a lot harder to remember when they happened. Myself, I'm studying business, so I can take over the family business one day. I'm not sure I really want to study it, because I'm not sure I'm any good at it, but it seems like the right thing to do for the family. It's not like I have any backup plans, so I'll stick with it as much as I can. Surprisingly, I'm also going to Kyoto University. I wonder if we'll have any future classes together."
Sumi smiles and says, "I hope so. You're too fun of a guy to let go so easily. I'd love to see you outside of work."
Kazuya blushes at the unexpected compliment. His blush increases when Sumi winks at him and wags her eyebrows.
No way. Is she suggesting…?
Sumi grabs a menu from the side of the table. She looks at it for a moment before summoning the waitress.
"Excuse me but can my boyfriend and I have a slice of your strawberry cheesecake? With two spoons please."
The waitress nods and goes into the kitchen to grab a slice, while Sumi returns the menu to the side of the table. In no time at all, the waitress returns with the slice of strawberry cheesecake and two spoons.
"Okay, Kazuya, open wide" says Sumi.
Sumi scoops up a bite. Kazuya open his mouth with a blush, and Sumi feeds Kazuya a bite.
"This is really good" says Kazuya, swallowing down the bite.
Sumi smiles. Moments later, she is surprised that Kazuya returns the favor, feeding her a bite as well. Sumi blushes now as well. The blushing doesn't stop for either of them as they feed each other bite after bite until the whole slice is gone, just as any real couple would. Actually, this might go above and beyond what any real couple would do. Once they are done, they each use the restroom, and Sumi pays the bill at the counter, Kazuya close behind her. Once they leave the restaurant, they decide to take a walk at the nearby park, which is all but deserted right now, due to it being a workday for most people.
Kazuya and Sumi make small talk, getting to know each other a little better, when all of a sudden Kazuya freezes in his tracks. Sumi looks at him, and he looks like he's seen a ghost. Turning to see what he's looking at, Sumi sees a blonde-haired young lady, right around their age, looking right at them with a surprised look on her face.
Kazuya can barely call out the name of this person.
"M…M…Mami…"
Sumi looks between Kazuya and this Mami person a few times before it clicks for her.
Mami must be his ex-girlfriend. This…might get explosive. It didn't sound like they ended their relationship all that amicably. Even if they did, it doesn't sound like he's over her yet. After only a week apart, how can he be? Let's just hope I don't have to step in here. I don't know what I'd do if I had to.
Mami looks between Kazuya and Sumi, a little confused, but otherwise unhurt, which kind of pisses Sumi off.
"Kazuya. Wasn't expecting to run into you here. Especially when you're on a date" says Mami, finally speaking.
Kazuya pulls Sumi closer and says, "Y-Yeah. S-Shortly after we broke up, I met Sumi, and asked her out on a date. I'm just as surprised as you that she agreed to go out on one with me."
Mami says, "That was quick. Didn't think you'd get over me that quickly."
Sumi's eyes narrow.
That was a bit cocky coming from the one who broke up with him and left him a mess. She doesn't even sound remorseful about it.
Mami notices the look Sumi is giving her.
Smiling, which is more like a smirk from Sumi's perspective, Mami asks Kazuya, "So, who did you say this girl was again? Sorry, I'm not the best with names."
This girl?! I know she heard Kazuya when he introduced me. There is no way she didn't. And, no good with names? That is such a lie. I know people who truly are no good at remembering names, and she's definitely not one of them. Liar.
Kazuya, sensing tension between his rental girlfriend and his ex-girlfriend, is hesitant to answer, but does so anyways.
"Um, this is Sumi Sakurasawa. Please try to remember it. If this date goes well, she might end up becoming my new girlfriend. And, she goes to our campus, so you might see her around."
Mami gives Kazuya the most fake looking smile in history, then looks at Sumi directly.
"Well, that's cool, I guess. I just hope you can handle Kazuya's libido. Once I allowed him to kiss me, he tried to do it all the time, even when he had bad breath. Not the most pleasant feeling in the world. But, if you're happy, I'm not going to stand in your way" says Mami.
Sumi has had enough. Before Kazuya can stop her, and before Mami can even react, Sumi reaches out and slaps Mami, enough to make Mami stumble and leave a very visible mark on her cheek.
"You pretentious, stuck-up bitch! Did you even care about Kazuya at all? Because you seem pretty damn dismissive of him. You broke his heart, leaving him a mess and crying over you, and you don't seem to care at all! I don't find his libido a problem, and any good girlfriend would suck it up and kiss him regardless of his breath. Not that the point anyways. Why the hell would you try to make him look bad in front of his date when you're the one who broke it off with him? You should be happy for him, not trying to actively destroy his love life even more. Even I, a person who barely knows him, knows that he's too good for a stuck-up, destructive bitch like you. He deserves better than you. You want to come after me in some kind of revenge, fine. But stay the hell away from him. Because you two are done."
Turning towards Kazuya, Sumi says, "Come on, Kazuya. You don't have to listen to her bullshit anymore. You're better than her, and it's time someone proved it to you. Let's go back to your place. Where I can do what she couldn't. Prove how much I love you in a more physical manner."
Kazuya, unable to move at the moment, is practically dragged away from the park by Sumi, her anger giving her adrenaline, and thus, extra power. Mami stands in the park, alone, stunned.
"That's not true. I care about him…a little bit."
I wouldn't still be friends with him if I didn't. I can't believe she actually slapped me. I guess…I kind of deserved it. But, how else was I supposed to react to him being on a date so soon after I broke it off with him? And, how can she love him enough to have sex with him when she said herself that she barely knew him? There has to be something more to it. Well, I won't pry as long as she makes him happy. But, if she doesn't, she's mine. Because revenge is a dish best served cold.