The Child Inside (2/2)

"Bye, Peanut! I love you!" Joan waved at the happy dog with the wagging tail looking back at her via skype. "You keep having fun with Aunt Alyssa and Uncle Paul and Avery while we're away." She blew a kiss at the screen. "I'm having loads of fun here but I can't wait to see you again."

Peanut barked excitedly.

"She's happy you're having a good time," Alyssa said with a smile.

"You put my picture next to her bed, right?" Joan asked. "So she doesn't get scared at night."

"We did," Alyssa said.

"Is it ok if I call later to tell her goodnight?" Joan asked.

"You can call as often as you want," Alyssa said. She knew her niece had formed an immediate bond with Peanut and their first time apart was destined to be a little difficult for both of them.

"Thanks." Joan blew a few more kisses. "I'll call back later."

Mary said her goodbyes then ended the call. "Do you feel a little better now?" she asked her daughter.

Joan nodded. "I just don't want …"

The young girl paused.

"Never mind."

"It's ok." Mary reached out and squeezed Joan's shoulder. "What's on your mind?"

"I just don't want Peanut to think we sent her away and she's never gonna see us again," Joan said softly.

Mary pulled her daughter into a tight hug.

"I promise you she doesn't think that. She knows you would never leave her."

"And Aunt Alyssa is taking super good care of her," Joan said.

"Yes, she is." Mary pulled back and waited a few seconds until Joan's eyes met hers. "Does this have anything to do with us running into my old friend at the Shop 'n Save this morning?"

"Maybe a little," Joan admitted. "I don't like thinking about you being unhappy and feeling alone."

Mary knelt down and took both of her daughter's hands. "I appreciate that. I really do. But the thing is, we can't change the past. I can't pretend that wasn't a bad time in my life. But it's all behind me now. I'm not that sad, scared little girl anymore."

"But if you ever start to think about those days and it makes you sad you could tell me and Daddy and we could help you feel happy again," Joan suggested.

The earnest look in the young girl's eyes made Mary's heart melt.

She kissed Joan's cheek and said, "You have a deal."

"It was kinda strange seeing Marcie again after all these years," Mary said as she sat on the deck with Catherine and Aunt Deb watching the sun fade from the sky. Up the beach she could hear Steve and Aaron returning from a walk with Cammie. The kids were playing Hungry Hungry Hippos at a table nearby.

Tomorrow the house would be bustling and chaotic and friends and family gathered for their traditional pre-meal football game followed by a Thanksgiving feast but tonight was the calm before the storm.

"How so?" Deb asked.

"It's hard to put into words." Mary sighed. "It was something about the look in her eyes when she mentioned how Steve and I were sent away. Not exactly pity, but something close to it. It's like I'm frozen in time in her mind."

"None of us want to be remembered as we were at the lowest points in our lives," Catherine said.

"Exactly." Mary took a sip of the beer she was holding. "I wonder how many other people I went to elementary school with think of me as 'poor Mary'."

"It doesn't matter what they think," Aunt Deb said.

"I know." Mary smiled. "Maybe I should consider going to the next class reunion anyway just so they can see I turned out ok."

Catherine held up her beer bottle and clinked it with Mary's. "You turned out better than ok."

"What are we toasting?" Steve asked as he and Aaron stepped onto the deck with Cammie who headed immediately to get a drink and take a rest in her casa.

Mary held her bottle aloft. "To no longer being who we used to be."

Steve grabbed two bottles from the outside refrigerator and passed one to Aaron. "I'll drink to that." He took a long draw from the bottle. "Is this about running in Marcie Akana earlier?"

Mary shrugged. "She just got me thinking. Everybody knows how well you turned out. They see you on the news all the time. But I'm still 10 years old and crying because I don't want to leave Hawaii in their minds."

"Mama said it's ok though because she's not sad and scared anymore like she was back then," Joan said, momentarily distracted from the game. For reasons she didn't completely understand she'd been thinking a lot about what happened in the grocery store this morning. She'd even recounted the entire thing for DJ over lunch.

"You're very, very happy now," Angie said. "Right, Aunt Mary?"

"Right." Mary beamed. "That little girl is long gone."

DJ bit his lip. Ever since Joan told him about her conversation with her mother on the way home from Jirou's he'd been thinking about how he and Aunt Mary were alike. "Maybe not."

"What do you mean, sweetheart," Catherine asked as all eyes turned toward DJ.

"It's just…" He struggled to find the words to express what he'd been feeling for a while now. "I used to try to forget about what my life was like before I came here to live with Mommy, Daddy, and Angie. But then …"

He paused.

"Daddy, you know how you always say that Angie is just like Mommy when it comes to knowing someone is a little sad and needs someone to be extra nice to them, even if they don't say so?"

Steve nodded. "I sure do."

"Sometimes, if I see somebody being left out or picked on, I know how they feel and I want to help them. But not because I take after anybody, just because of things that happened to me before I found my real family."

"You're absolutely right, DJ," Aaron said. "Everything that happened before, good and bad, makes us who we are today."

DJ stepped out to the middle of the deck and looked at Mary. "You're the best social worker in the whole world because you know how to help the kids who are like I was because you know what it feels like to be scared and not know exactly what's gonna happen next."

Mary held her arms out and DJ ran to her for a hug. "I hope you're right," she said.

"I am," he said confidently. "I know the boy I used to be is still in here." He touched his chest. "So maybe that little girl is still around too. Except now she gets to live inside a happy grown up you."

Catherine's hand fluttered to her chest. "I don't think I've ever heard anyone explain it better."

THE END

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