A/N A bit of an alchemy chapter! Finally getting some more details on the bond ;) This is where I flex my creative license and basically make it all up lol

The war had ended.

Or rather, he'd ended the war. And it was all over the papers. They started calling him The Hero of Ishval, with a picture of his stupid face, and the urge to snap his fingers and burn all the papers was unbearable. He'd already bought four and done just that simply for the satisfaction of it.

And now, he was sitting in a stupid bar, slightly dissociated. And people around him were fucking happy. How could people be happy?

Maes was next to him, thank god. And he was acutely aware he wasn't drinking. Just being polite and pleasant like he always was.

Roy was drinking. Not out of celebration, but to quell the urge to snap and burn this bar to the ground. The urge terrified him, so he focused on the burn in his throat instead, downing glass after glass of whiskey.

He was drunk. He knew that much, the telltale signs were all there; the slight dizziness, disorientation, and muscle relaxation. But what he most cherished about being drunk was the numbness.

He had lost count how many people were around their table, all soldiers of course, celebrating the end of the war. They all got to go back to people they loved, and they thought celebrating that fact was better than mourning those who couldn't.

Glasses clinked and laughter ensued, voices Roy wasn't focusing on boisterous and loud. He felt the anger inside of him, ugly and dark and hateful, squeezing his chest until he could barely breathe. His fingers absently rubbed against each other, sparks of alchemic energy surging and comforting him.

He was wearing his gloves, potentially a bad idea.

A harsh slap on his back had him flinching, and Maes grasped his wrist, holding it down on instinct; definitely a good idea.

"Mustang, man! Our hero! Let me buy you a drink!"

Roy turned his head and glared at the man; a fellow Major, no wonder he felt he could be so casual with him. The Major was grinning from ear to ear, the effects of alcohol clear on his slightly flushed skin.

Roy had many things to say in that moment, but chose to convey it all in a death glare instead.

The man faltered, his grin dimming slightly. Another soldier joined them, also fucking happy, and Roy clenched his teeth.

"Roy…"

Maes's voice was a soft warning, intended to bring him back to the present more than admonish him, but Roy was too drunk and this had pissed him off.

"How can you be so happy?" he asked, his voice deceptively calm. He was livid.

The soldiers looked at him in apprehension, and he absently noticed the rest of the table had quieted.

Roy continued. "How can you be fucking happy when thousands of people have lost their lives? Do you think the Ishvalans are celebrating? When this war was a product of unjust discrimination and hatred—"

Maes cut Roy off by squeezing his arm hard, and the jolt of pain cleared Roy's head the slightest bit. He'd been shouting, his voice rising with every horrible word.

He stood, abruptly, and walked out.

"Roy, wait!"

Maes's voice behind him sounded far away; the fog in his brain from the anger and alcohol had him more dissociated than he'd thought. Roy kept walking, inhaling the crispy autumn air; it was clearing his head. It was calming him. It was quelling the urge to set something, or someone, on fire.

Destruction, that was what he was. Pure destruction.

A car slowed next to him on the pavement. Roy kept walking as Maes lowered his window. "Roy, get in the car."

"Go home, Maes." Maes had Gracia, and he had seen first hand those healing properties of love. Maes was nowhere near as fucked up as Roy, and it was almost entirely because of Gracia.

Maes huffed, giving him a sad smile. "Now's not the time to be stubborn, Roy."

Roy clenched his teeth, stuffing his hands in his pockets. He needed to stop rubbing his fingers together. "I'll walk."

"You're drunk as fuck and a massive target right now. I'm not letting you walk home."

That made Roy stop walking. He was a massive target indeed. Because people hated him. People wanted to kill him. Even though he was now called The Hero of Ishval and soldiers were celebrating him, he was, in fact, hated. By the remaining Ishvalans, by the general public, even by soldiers with a conscience. Roy was doubting he had one of those anymore.

Because he was a cold-blooded murderer.

He didn't know what Maes saw on his face, perhaps the deep-seated exhaustion and self-hatred he'd been feeling constantly ever since they'd returned from Ishval, but his face softened, and he gave Roy a small smile. "Get in the car, buddy."

And Roy, eyes glassy from alcohol and unshed tears, got in the car.

Maes placed a small cupcake in his lap, wrapped neatly in paper. The logo was from their favourite bakery; the one they always went to back in the academy. Before. Before Hell.

It seemed like a lifetime away now.

"Happy birthday, Roy-Boy."

Roy was silent the entire drive, intent on hiding the tears that leaked from his eyes. But Maes knew, he always knew.

What a shit way to start his Sunday.

Roy rubbed at his eyes, feeling the dried tear stains on his cheeks. He didn't often cry in his sleep, but it wasn't unusual enough for him to be alarmed by it.

He was still exhausted even though he'd slept through the night. Hell, he'd even switched his alarm off last night, intending to perhaps let Ed have a lie in, and to hopefully get through Sunday faster. But he'd woken up early anyway.

He was definitely dreaming a lot more than he used to before the bond. The details of his dreams had increased alongside the frequency. He remembered everything so clearly, as though he was reliving the moment in his sleep. It used to be like that years ago, but Roy hadn't been plagued like this for a while before the bond.

On the nights he didn't dream, his mood was considerably better, more optimistic about being soul bonded to Ed, and then he'd have a dream like this that made him feel nauseous and shitty, and he wanted nothing more than to curl up in bed and feel utterly sorry for himself.

Why, just why, was the bond doing this to him? Torturing him with these dreams, these memories?

But Ed was just outside the door, and Roy felt the uncomfortable urge to act fine. To pretend, in his own damn house.

The pressure this situation was putting on him was certainly straining his health. It must be.

Sighing, he sat up in bed. He didn't want to put his uniform on today. He really, really didn't.

Ed wouldn't care if he didn't. He knew that, but he still hesitated.

Why was he hesitating? It wasn't like Ed hadn't seen him without his uniform. And, really, putting his uniform on was the weakest form of armour he could possibly have. It did fuck all against the bond.

The dream lingered in his mind, and he felt the sudden urge to cry—and it wasn't entirely from the dream. How ridiculous. Roy didn't cry. Ed had seen him cry in his dream, but that had been a seriously low point in his life where he drank and cried a lot more than usual. He didn't like remembering that part of his life, and he hadn't wanted Ed to know about it at all.

And Maes…Dreaming of Maes always fucking sucked.

Ed knocked hard on his door, and Roy sighed, deep and tired. Please, for the love of God. "I'll be out in a minute."

A second passed, and then his door swung open with an air of determination. Roy stared at Ed like a deer caught in headlights.

Ed simply stared back from the threshold, his face serious. His eyes surveyed Roy pathetically sat in bed, and it took every ounce of control for Roy not to squirm. Was his hair a mess? Did he have crinkles from the pillow on his face?

"Get up."

Ed strode into his room and stood next to him. Roy's throat had fully closed up, so he just stared at Ed in utter bafflement.

Ed glared at him. "I'm not gonna let you sit here wallowing in your shit, so get up."

Roy became acutely aware in that moment that he was in his boxers. He discretely made sure his duvet sufficiently covered him. "You can't just barge in here and order me around."

Ed huffed, and put his hands on his hips—it was such an unusual position for Ed's hands that Roy's brain stuttered for a moment, then unhelpfully let him know Ed looked like a concerned mother hen. "Get. Up."

Roy's eyes narrowed. "Get. Out."

Ed did not like that. His glare became fierce, and in one fluid motion he had Roy's duvet in his hands and pulled it off him.

Roy nearly yelped. Nearly.

He was up now, hastily walking past Ed to grab his sweatpants. In his attempt to get his legs in the pants as quickly as possible while simultaneously glaring at Ed, he nearly stumbled. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" he blurted, scowling.

Ed, apparently having accomplished what he'd come here to do, started for the door. "I need to call Al. Come downstairs."

He threw on a plain black t-shirt and descended the stairs after Ed, glaring daggers at his blond head. "I do not appreciate being ordered around, Fullmetal."

Ed tutted, walking through the archway and getting a bowl out the top cupboard. "We're back to that, are we?"

Roy took a deep, deep breath, and composed himself. He straightened. "I don't believe we ever deviated."

Ed gave him a very pointed, long-suffering look.

Fine.

Roy pursed his lips. "What is up with you this morning?" he braved asking, once again switching on his coffeemaker. That device had single-handedly gotten him through life. He silently wished it would hurry up.

"Your dream pissed me off."

Roy looked at him with a mix of incredulity and annoyance. "Was my dream not up to your standards, Edward?" he said sarcastically. It wasn't like Roy could pick and choose what dreams of his they saw; if it was up to him he wouldn't fucking dream at all.

The downward tilt of Ed's lips hinted towards his annoyance. As if Roy couldn't feel it through the bond as clear as day.

He'd noticed that, actually. He could feel Ed's emotions a lot easier now than he used to. He didn't need to concentrate as much on the bond; it had become second nature to feel Ed's feelings. He didn't think he could even successfully ignore them anymore.

He was genuinely curious to know what about his dream had caused Ed to barge into his room and practically throw him out of bed, but for once Ed seemed determined to keep his trap shut.

Brilliant, the one time he'd wanted Ed to speak and he wouldn't.

Roy was still annoyed as he sat at the table and drank his coffee. He counted his breaths, trying to ease the tension in his body. It was a fucking Sunday morning and Ed had him on edge already.

He kept his eyes on him as Ed put his cereal bowl on the table and walked over to the phone by the wall. He quickly punched in a number and waited.

"Hey, Win. Is Al there?"

At least with Ed distracted he could take a few moments to himself. And enjoy his damn coffee.

Ed wasn't looking at him. He was staring absently at the floor, leaning against the wall with one shoulder as he spoke to Alphonse.

Roy took this opportunity to be a creep and stare at him. It was hard not to, when he was only wearing Roy's sweatpants and his hair was down. When he bicep was flexing like that as he held the phone.

He was annoying himself now.

Ed glanced at him and caught him red handed. He raised his eyebrows in mild amusement as he replied to Al. "Yeah, he's fine."

Roy glared at him. Ed smirked back.

Roy decided to stare at his coffee instead.

Ed and Al had been talking for hours.

Roy had been listening to Ed's side of the conversation at first, trying to determine what information Alphonse was relaying to him. But after fifteen minutes, during which Ed had taken to eating his cereal while talking, he'd mentally checked out. Ed would explain it to him later anyway.

Drinking his coffee in silence while listening to Ed's deep, husky voice made for a more pleasant experience than he'd anticipated.

He'd been thinking of Vanessa's visit yesterday. More particularly, the information she'd revealed.

They had to try harder not to raise suspicion. Even as he thought it, he felt dread; Ed wouldn't like the plan forming in his mind, the precautions he was coming up with. And he was truly dreading another fight.

He didn't want to fight with Ed, but it seemed like that was all they ended up doing. Even when they'd been getting along for a—usually short—period of time, it would always end in some sort of fight. And he really wished that wasn't the case.

But he didn't even know how to not annoy Ed; it truly did seem like Roy's entire existence annoyed him. Hell, he'd even been annoyed at him over his damn dream this morning. How was that fair?

They needed to vary their routes. Perhaps Roy would have to hire a car again. He'd done so after they'd found out about Bradley's corruption, when he'd been separated from his team and was being watched. Roy getting himself a car was undoubtedly safer than walking everywhere with Homunculi out to get them, and it wasn't as easy to track his whereabouts.

He could drive himself and Ed to work, and to shops further away from his house. That way people wouldn't catch them walking together.

Ed plopped himself in his chair and slapped his notebook on the table, causing Roy to look up. He grunted and rubbed at his eyes, looking at Roy tiredly. "Long story short, there's a fuck load of alkahestry in the array."

Roy didn't know how to feel about that. But perhaps the apprehension in his gut had answered the question for him. "Did Alphonse explain it all adequately enough?"

Ed took his hair tie off his wrist and threw his hair in a ponytail, heaved a sigh and flipped his notebook back open. He'd been scribbling fiercely while he'd been talking to his brother. "I need to analyse it for a bit. If I attempt to explain it now I'll make no sense."

Fair enough. Roy nodded, and stood. He would make them lunch while Ed gathered his thoughts.

He didn't bother replying as Ed had already been sucked into his own little alchemy world, and focused on making the sandwiches.

The sun was beginning to dip when Ed finally looked back up at Roy. He'd barely eaten his sandwich, but Roy hadn't wanted to interrupt his train of thought to point it out. He'd rung his usual Xingese place about half an hour ago, so their dinner was due any moment.

Ed seemed to be blinking himself back to Roy's kitchen. He rubbed at his face. "What time is it?"

"Almost six."

Ed huffed, leaning back in his chair in exhaustion. "Fucking hell." He put a hand over his stomach. "I'm fucking starving."

"Xingese is on the way."

He caught Ed rolling his eyes, but he didn't say anything, just looked back at his notebook. "I feel like I need to sleep for a year."

Roy echoed the sentiment.

A knock had him walking to the front door, and soon their food's delicious aroma filled the house. He set the bag on the table while he went to fetch bowls and cutlery, and Ed lost no time, deciding to eat straight from the container.

Roy put his own food in a bowl.

He was silently eating his food, assuming they'd eat before they broached the subject of the array, when Ed dragged his chair to Roy's side of the table and slapped his notebook in front of him while still chewing.

"Right," he started, mouth full.

Roy grimaced. "Swallow first."

Ed gave him a dramatic eye roll, but swallowed his food before he said, "I don't wanna be here all night."

"It takes a second to swallow."

Ed's golden eyes looked at him in amusement. "Are we really having this conversation?"

Roy bit his tongue and ignored the heat that crawled up his neck, eyes on Ed's notebook.

Ed's chuckle was low, merely an amused huff of air, but Roy caught it anyway since Ed was sitting right next to him. He reached over Roy to flick the page of his notebook.

Roy stared at the sketch of the array that had gotten them into this mess. Ed had circled aspects of it and scribbled notes next to the circles. The handwriting was so bad even Roy couldn't read it.

"So." Ed rubbed at his forehead, taking a moment to gather his thoughts— "Ugh."

Roy blinked. "How very articulate of you."

Ed's glare was scathing. "Fuck off, not everyone's a thesaurus like you."

Roy's lips switched upwards despite himself.

Ed took a deep breath, rubbed his temple some more, and said, "I guess the good news is the array won't work with more than two souls."

Roy let out a breath of relief. He hadn't realised just how much he longed for some good news. One less thing to worry about.

"I don't know enough about alkahestry to explain why, but Mei was sure the limit was two."

Roy nodded. "So the array is a combination of alchemy and alkahestry after all?" He strongly suspected the answer was yes, since Roy could distinguish the alchemy symbols as clear as day, among the ones he didn't recognise. What he hoped Ed would untangle, though, was how the two worked together to bind souls.

Ed winced. "Yeah. Alkahestry and alchemy work in tandem, I've never seen anything like it. Honestly, whoever came up with this array is a fucking genius, cause it's complicated as fuck." He flipped the page of his notebook. "They must have an insane amount of knowledge of both alchemy and alkahestry."

Roy's eyes wandered over the new page of Ed's notebook. It was a sketch of the same array, but different parts were highlighted.

Ed took another bite of his food. "The alkahestry is what joins the two compatible souls." He pointed to a symbol on the left side of the array. "That stumped me, since I'd kinda taken it as fact that it was the alchemy that did that."

His eyes focused on the swirl at the very top of the array. It was only natural that Ed had applied his own knowledge to try and understand this array, especially when he was so familiar with that particular symbol.

Ed's use of the word compatible wasn't lost on him. "So the souls do have to be compatible for this to work. It isn't random."

He looked at Ed's face, but Ed kept his eyes on his notebook. Was he avoiding Roy's gaze?

There was a pause before Ed said, "There needs to be a pull towards each other prior to bonding, that's what activates the alkahestry in the first place."

Roy took a moment to digest that and come up with a question, but Ed continued, "The array responds to that pull and, using the energy of it, acts as a bridge for the souls. The soul energies merge, but that's not exactly the right word. It's more like they're touching."

So his and Ed souls were just touching? "So when we move far enough away from each other and our souls cannot touch anymore, we lose consciousness."

Ed nodded. "The soul energies need to be touching at all times. The closer we are, the closer our souls."

Roy frowned. He was getting slightly confused already, his brain needing time to digest all this. "If all this is caused by alkahestry, where does alchemy come in?"

Ed huffed and rubbed at his temple. "That was gonna be my next point…" He paused. "Theoretically, if our souls became one they wouldn't be denied each other, right? They would have completed the merge."

Roy's frown deepened. "I thought they were simply touching, not merging?"

Ed worried his bottom lip for a moment. He still hadn't looked at Roy, his gaze stubbornly on the notebook. "At first, yeah. But the souls want to merge. The closer we are, the more overlap between the souls. I think that's what the woman meant when she said to listen to our souls and they'd tell us how to break the bond. She meant they'll lead us to a merge."

The bond will be broken when it is replaced by another, stronger bond.

Shan Young's voice echoed in Roy's mind. Was that what she meant? That the bond would be broken when his and Ed's souls merged?

"But surely, if our souls fully merged the side effects would be worse than they are now, not better."

Finally, Ed looked up at him. "The alkahestry is what's bonded the souls. The alchemy is what's causing the side effects—the dreams, the forced proximity, the weird emotion swap. I think it's probably the weirdest form of equivalent exchange I've seen." Roy couldn't look away from Ed's eyes. They were almost sparkling with the excitement he felt over this stroke of genius. "So if our souls became one, the alkahestry would break the alchemy effect. Conservation of energy dictates you can't destroy energy. So even when our souls became one, that would only be in theory. There would still be two energies, just merged. We would still be two different people, just with a deeper bond with each other."

Roy felt dumb. It wasn't the first time he had felt dumb compared to Ed, and he was sure it wouldn't be the last. He knew for a fact that he wasn't—compared to the general population he was actually considered smart—but compared to Ed…well.

And as he watched Ed explain this to him, the bond betraying just how enthusiastic he was about it finally making sense to him, Roy's stomach filled with flutters that felt suspiciously like butterflies.

He took a deep breath and asked, "So how do we cause our souls to merge?" The thought of his soul merging with Ed's—or anyone's—made him more than slightly uncomfortable, but if it was the only way…

Ed looked at him in surprise. "I thought the plan was to create a reversal array."

Right. Of course. Embarrassment bloomed at his blunder. Ed had finally fully understood the array so he, and maybe Alphonse, could create a reversal array.

No soul merging would be necessary.

But Roy cleared his throat and decided to say what was on his mind anyway. "You aren't as knowledgable in alkahestry as you are in alchemy. I thought perhaps leading our souls to a merge could prove a faster method. Providing there would be no lasting effects of course."

Ed blushed. Surprise flowed through the bond. Roy was definitely missing something here.

He hoped Ed could feel his confusion and maybe realise Roy had no idea what he was on about.

Ed seemed to hesitate for a second, but his eyes gained that determined gleam Roy was so familiar with, and he said, "The bond is exaggerating feelings already there. If we want to merge our souls we would need to fully give in to the pull we feel towards each other."

Roy's brain went blank, and he simply stared at Ed. That had sounded suspiciously close to what Shan Young had been telling them.

The bond is exaggerating feelings already there.

Roy gulped, and turned away from Ed's eyes. His heart was pounding as that sentence kept repeating itself in his brain.

Did Ed know that as fact or was it a theory? Because Roy was at a loss as to what feelings existed for the bond to exaggerate.

Okay, so Roy thought Ed was attractive. So what? It didn't mean Roy wanted to—to—

If anything, it was because he looked so feminine that Roy thought he was attractive. Long blond hair, big golden eyes, perfect tan skin, nice smile—who wouldn't find Ed attractive? The bond had no right to take that tiny tidbit of awareness and blow it so out of proportion. The sexual tension between him and Ed now was almost fucking palpable and Roy had been right; it was the bond's fault.

It was the bond's fault that Roy had to resist touching Ed every fucking second of the damn day.

He exhaled harshly.

"As for any lasting effects," Ed went on, fidgeting. Awkwardness flowed through the bond. "I don't really know what a merge would actually do to us and how we feel about each other. It's possible that it would make us want to be around each other, instead of forcing us to be. Proximity might just feel better."

Roy could deal with wanting. Ignoring a want was easy. It was tempting to view giving in to the pull he felt towards Ed as the quickest and most efficient way to finally breaking this bond, but what that giving in would entail was giving him heart palpitations.

Roy kept his eyes on the notebook in front of him out of pure awkwardness. "How long do you think a reversal array would take you?"

From the corner of his eye, he saw Ed's head move, and those golden eyes were on him. Ed was biting his lip as he thought. "Uh, hard to say. Al said he and Mei will help with the alkahestry bit, so it'll be three of us working on it."

Roy's mind was spinning with all the information it had just been subjected to. But one thing stood out to him—something he'd thought of yesterday, but had been too much of a coward to ask.

And even now, even though the question was on the tip of his tongue, he was hesitating. What if it wasn't possible? What if he upset Ed and he got all broody and sad and Roy completely ruined his enthusiasm over finally figuring out the array?

But he deserved to know if this was a possibility. Roy wouldn't forgive himself if this was possible and he never said anything.

"When Alphonse was a suit of armour, his soul was connected to you, correct?"

Ed frowned at him, confused but undeniably curious about where Roy was going with this. "Yeah?"

"Your Gates coexisted in the same space."

Ed blinked, at first blankly, but Roy watched his face as it slowly dawned on him.

Roy's heart was pounding as he voiced the question anyway.

"Could you access my Gate?"