Roy's brain had abandoned ship, quit the job, handed in its resignation letter while holding up the middle finger.

He couldn't concentrate.

On anything.

The paperwork in front of him seemed so… trivial, inconsequential. People talking to him seemed far away, his brain fading out their words as it was simply not interested. He was not interested in anything but blond hair, golden eyes, a smart mouth—

That smart mouth—

Roy couldn't even think about it without his body getting hot all over.

This had been happening on seemingly random instances throughout his morning; he'd think about it, and his whole body would respond eagerly, and every single damn time Ed seemed to know, and he'd glance over at him and those golden eyes would sparkle.

Roy expertly ignored him. He absently wondered when avoidance had become such an integral part of his strategy against Ed.

Last night he'd slept so damn well. There had been no dream; the moment his head hit the pillow he was out cold, and this morning he felt refreshed, well-rested, even though they'd gone to bed at almost one in the morning.

He'd slept like a fucking baby and he refused to give Ed any sort of credit.

Hawkeye knocked on the door and brought him coffee. Every time she walked in holding that perfect brown liquid she looked like an angel from heaven sent to give him mercy in the form of caffeine.

She placed the coffee on his desk and Roy smiled at her. "Thank you, Lieutenant."

She paused, her brown eyes taking in the stacks of paperwork as she— "Sir, you've barely done any work." —blatantly called him out.

Ed's head whipped around to him behind her, and the brat's smirk was humungous.

Roy would not flush. He would not.

But his poor, abused heart was already going haywire.

He sighed, slouching in his chair and trying his best to appear like an exhausted old man with the weight of the whole world on his shoulders. "Apologies, Lieutenant. The bond has not been letting us sleep very efficiently, I'm afraid."

She stared at him blankly, completely unimpressed, and he heard Ed stifle a snort.

Whose side was the little shit on, anyway?

"Sounds like you're well on your way to breaking the bond, sir, so I shall be patient for a little while longer."

With that, she walked back out, the click of the door closing almost echoing in the devastating silence she'd left in her wake.

What?

"What did she mean by that?" Roy asked out loud. Not directly to Ed but just…in general. To whatever spirits were willing to listen.

Ed finally let out that snort. "I'd tell you, but I think you'd shrivel up and die in your panic."

Hearing his heart pounding in his ears, Roy wondered if that was already happening.

Roy had discovered that he couldn't quite look Ed in the eye.

Their lunch had been a brief affair; Hawkeye had been nice enough to—meaning Roy had ordered her to—get him and Ed food from the cafeteria and bring it up to the office. Despite the fact that he'd ordered her to do so, the reason she actually went was for the promise he'd only take a ten minute lunch and get back to work.

And the fact that he'd promised that definitely wasn't because he wanted to hide from those golden eyes behind the stacks of paperwork.

Roy sighed, the document in front of him blurring at the edges from his inability to concentrate.

When had he gotten so good at lying to himself?

He glanced at Ed—quickly, discreetly. He had a new air about him as he scribbled and drew in his notebook; he was no longer glaring at the pages and frustration wasn't flowing through the bond. Now that he had understood the array he would be able to finally free Roy from these shackles.

He'd be free. Soon.

And he wondered how he would feel, when he wasn't soul bonded to Ed anymore.

Would he go back to the way he was before? Would he simply have a very-manly appreciation of his fellow man's looks, or would he look at Ed and be filled with this same need?

No. It definitely wouldn't be like that, because the bond was exaggerating whatever feelings it managed to dig up and cling to. Ed had said so himself.

So he would probably not want to bend Ed over the kitchen table like it was as necessary as breathing.

But something kept gnawing at him—his thought process didn't feel fully correct.

Because a scarily big part of him couldn't imagine him not wanting Ed's lips around his cock.

The moment the thought registered he felt a wave of scorching heat through his body; desire, embarrassment, shame, panic—and Ed looked up from his notebook with his eyebrows raised.

"You okay over there?" he drawled, his tone dripping in amusement.

"Just fine," Roy replied cooly, clearing his throat. He kept his eyes on his paperwork, his face carefully schooled into the perfect picture of calm. Not that it fucking mattered.

When he was sure Ed was no longer looking at him, he snuck another glance.

What was he planning?

Because he was definitely planning something. That predatory, smug look he'd given Roy yesterday, while sexy as hell—

No, for fuck's sake—

Roy exhaled a bit harder than necessary and rubbed at his face.

How ironic it was that he was being tormented by lust, the sin he'd burned to death years ago.

He looked at the golden thread floating between them. It was harder to see in the daylight, but Roy could easily make it out; he'd been seeing it every damn day for a fucking month.

Maybe Ed was hoping to seduce him. To break the bond.

Yes. That made sense, considering the conversation they'd had about breaking the bond yesterday.

But Ed would be disappointed, because Roy had been deemed un-seduceable years ago. It was a thing, that he couldn't be seduced by any woman. He could seduce them, but they couldn't seduce him. There was a difference. It was one of the things he was most proud of; his control when it came to primal needs, which Roy always thought should've been called primal wants.

It had been a challenge for many women throughout his life, and one that maybe Edward had taken upon himself now.

But Ed couldn't seduce him. No one could.

Right?

Roy stayed overtime.

Of course he stayed because he was behind in paperwork and it most definitely wasn't so he could hide behind his desk.

It was almost fully dark outside now, and Roy had probably completed about a third of the paperwork he was meaning to do today.

They were important forms, goddammit. Documents that demanded his focus; Ishval rebuilding proposals, structure ideas, budgets—this was his damn purpose, and yet the majority of his time had been spent staring blankly at the sheet of paper in front of him, eyes glazed over as he thought of Ed's perfect face between his legs.

Dear God.

He was a pervert. He had been having such lewd thoughts all fucking day and it was wholly distressing. His thoughts were starting to sound like Havoc did when women were involved, and Havoc was most definitely a pervert.

Roy was just a pervert for Edward Elric.

Ed caught him staring. Roy hadn't even realised he'd been staring.

They stared at each other in silence for a moment, Roy staring blankly and Ed looking both amused and exasperated.

"If you want me to suck your dick again you can just ask, you know."

That got him. Roy had never blinked so violently before. He shot back in his chair as though thrust backwards by an invisible force. Heat was crawling up his neck and he scrambled to push it down—he would not blush.

"Shut your mouth, Fullmetal."

Ed's lips twisted into a smirk. "Around your dick?"

"You're being inappropriate in the office."

"Does that mean I can be inappropriate at home?"

Roy gave him a long-suffering look.

He did, however, want to discuss something with him. He wanted to know his opinion on the bond situation—or rather, what he thought the bond's effect was on what had happened last night.

But how could he phrase it without mentioning what happened last night?

He was absently worrying his lip as he tried to find words—something that had become quite a feat lately.

Ed rolled his eyes at him. "Just say what's on your mind, Mustang."

Fine.

Roy cleared his throat and shifted in his chair, straightening his spine and making sure he looked the epitome of composed. Placing is hands on the desk, he intertwined his fingers and looked at Ed as though they were having a very important business meeting.

"Last night," he started, and then inwardly cursed at himself. Wrong two words to start with, but he'd done it now. "You mentioned the bond exaggerating feelings."

He paused, watching Ed's face for hints towards his thoughts. Ed looked almost bored. He stared at Roy, his brows furrowed just the slightest, his cheek leaning against his fist.

When he realised where the conversation was probably going, he seemed a tad more interested. He nodded, looking at Roy carefully. "Feelings that were already there. Before the bond."

Roy pursed his lips. "So, would it…" God, why was he hesitating? There was no way to say this without alluding to what happened last night. Fuck it. "Cause this, rather extreme, need?"

Only years of military training kept Roy's face blank and his eyes on Ed's.

Ed blushed. It was a rather surprising event considering how high and mighty he'd been acting about it all today.

He rubbed his nape as he thought, his gaze on anything but Roy. "Uh, I guess it would heighten emotions a bit and potentially hide some…lack of skill." He coughed, and blushed harder. "It's not like I've had opportunity to practice."

And Roy…said nothing. He blinked at Ed for a few seconds, contemplating his next move. He couldn't exactly tell Ed that had been the best blowjob of his meagre little life, could he?

"That's not what I meant," he gently settled on.

When Ed managed to drag his eyes over to Roy, he said, "What then?"

Roy preoccupied himself with neatening the stack of paperwork on his left. "Well, as you may know, I don't tend to be into men."

Now Ed was back to looking unimpressed. He raised an eyebrow at him. "Uh huh."

Roy had to get this out before he lost his damn nerve. He faced him head on. "You're attractive, and acknowledging that doesn't mean I'm into men."

Ed snorted and spluttered a laugh at the same time, which caused him to choke on his own spit and threw him into a coughing fit.

Why did Roy think he was attractive again?

Once he recovered, he threw his head back and laughed at him some more. Roy simply glared, feeling his blood betraying him by rushing to his cheeks. Perhaps that had been the wrong way to go about making his point.

"You think I'm attractive, huh?" Ed smirked at him, leaning back on the couch.

Roy's glare intensified. He was not going to let Ed twist this into some sort of entertainment for himself. "Objectively speaking, you are an attractive man, yes. People, men included, will see that. It doesn't mean anything."

"A lot of people don't find me attractive."

Roy was shaking his head before Ed had even finished talking. Trust Ed to not know his own appeal. It was very on brand for him, to think people wouldn't find him attractive. Roy recalled how he'd listened to Ed put himself down a few days ago, and hoped he could make him see just how stunning he really was. It would help him in the long run. "Just because people don't go around telling you doesn't mean they don't notice."

Ed's smirk turned into something softer, and Roy felt a fond exasperation through the bond. He hummed. "I recall Mei being very disappointed when she met me," he mused, crossing his arms. Then, the smirk was back full force. "I think you're on your own in finding me attractive, Mustang."

He was using Mei Chan as an example? The girl with a crush on his brother? Seriously? "I highly doubt that's true."

Ed raised his eyebrows at Roy's continued insistence.

How could Roy convince him?

"Havoc doesn't find me hot."

Roy pulled a face of mild disgust at the thought of Havoc ogling Ed. "Havoc says or implies I'm attractive all the time, and I can assure you he is very into women." Point proven.

Ed snorted. "Yeah, but in an I'm-jealous-of-you way, not in an I-wanna-suck-your-dick way. There is a difference, you know." He chuckled and, just as Roy had opened his mouth to reply, continued. "And," he said, his eyes sparkling teasingly. "Considering the evidence, I'm guessing you think I'm attractive in an I-wanna-suck-your-dick way."

Roy snapped his mouth shut. He couldn't argue with evidence.

No, he couldn't argue with evidence at all.

That night he lay in bed and contemplated, pondered, overthought—whatever.

Ed had been suspiciously silent after their discussion in the office. Roy had pried into the bond in order to understand why, but all he felt was a neutral calmness, alongside some amusement and a flare of desire when they made eye contact.

What he would give for a glimpse into his damn thoughts.

Roy sighed and turned onto his side.

He was attracted to Ed. It was a fact.

It bothered him.

Why did it bother him so much?

Perhaps it was because Ed was his subordinate. But no, Roy had secretly vowed to himself years ago that if he ever found the love of his life and she was military, he would go for it anyway—he doubted she'd be of a high enough rank for it to cause problems anyway. Perhaps a Private, or a Sergeant. Maybe a Lieutenant in a different department. He'd pretty much convinced himself she would be military, since he couldn't even begin to imagine a relationship with a civilian. While Ed being under his direct command was a more pressing issue, it could be fixed. So that wasn't it.

Perhaps it was because Ed was male. Even as he thought it, his heart started beating that bit harder. He had never been attracted to men, as far as he knew at least—he was doubting everything nowadays. But maybe he was in fact interested in both men and women. Or, more accurately, women plus Ed.

But he couldn't be with Ed. Ed couldn't be the love of his life, the notion seemed so…foreign. It had never occurred to him. He'd always had Maes and Gracia in mind when he thought of the perfect partnership. For years, he'd secretly been waiting for his own Gracia.

And Ed just…didn't fit into that box.

He'd accepted that he was sexually attracted to Ed. It had been a tough pill to swallow, but Ed had, in his usual weirdly helpful way, presented Roy with facts he couldn't deny.

However, the intensity of this need was because of the bond. How much would Roy really want Ed if the bond wasn't in the way? Considering he hadn't even realised he'd been sexually attracted to Ed in the first place, perhaps not so much…

And Ed was so much younger than him. He'd had the roughest teenage years of anyone Roy had ever met, but he had his whole life ahead of him—to meet the love of his life, to get married, have kids. Roy couldn't give him a family, and he knew how much family meant to Ed.

So why would he settle for someone like Roy?

Maybe Ed wasn't settling; maybe he was just biding his time and giving in to an intense sexual need they both felt. Maybe Roy was just what Ed wanted in this moment in time, and once the bond was broken and the need fizzled out they would go their separate ways.

That should not have disappointed him as much as it did.

Roy was under no illusions that he wasn't damaged. He was fucked up in all sorts of ways and it would take a patient person to understand and untangle all his shit. That was why he'd always thought that person would be military.

Ed was military—well, barely. But he knew horrors equal to Roy's own. Some of those horrors were shared, even.

And he was, quite evidently, sexually attracted to Roy. So that was the pull that had caused the alkahestry in the array to activate. It must've been.

Perhaps Ed was attracted to both men and women—or was it women plus Roy?

But how much of it was the bond, really?

His mind went to the other people that had been soul bonded. Were they waiting for them every day, wondering when the military would knock on their door with a reversal array? Were they feeling this intense need for each other that Roy felt for Ed? Or was each pull different, depending on what unresolved feeling was between the two people?

Shan Young was working with others. Grumman must already have men looking for the rest of them, but Roy felt restless at the thought that people were getting trapped with each other like this while he lay in bed and battled inappropriate sexual interest for his young, male subordinate.

The young, male subordinate in question kicked his bedroom door, startling him.

"Stop fucking thinking and fucking sleep."

Roy sighed and closed his eyes.

Honestly, fuck alchemy sometimes.