A/N longer chappy for ya ;)

Roy looked up from his alchemy book as Maes walked into the dorm room.

"I have some interesting information for you."

Roy arched a brow at the twinkle in Maes's eye.

Drenched in sweat and mud, Maes grinned, moving about the room and gathering fresh clothes. He'd just been out in the field with the Captain. Military training. It had never been Roy's thing, to roll around in the dirt and throw punches. He much preferred the elegance of alchemy to brute force.

"You know Jennings?" At Roy's frown, Maes grabbed his pecks as though they were breasts. "Big boobies," he explained with an eyebrow wiggle. What a child.

"I know who Rachel Jennings is, Maes."

Maes chuckled. "Well, she's into you. Overheard her talking about you."

Roy hummed, going back to his book. "My State Alchemist exam is close, no distractions allowed."

Maes snorted. "You've been saying that all year." He slapped a leaflet on the bed next to him, and Roy looked despite himself. "You are coming to the party tonight though, right?"

"Sure."

...

Roy was never drinking again.

His head pounded as he came to—

Where was he?

There were sheets wrapped around him, there was mattress against his back—okay, a bed. That was promising. He didn't want a repeat of the bush situation.

His dorm room ceiling came into focus. Despite its plain white colour, he knew it was his dorm ceiling from the very specific crack patterns across it.

Groaning, he turned—

Who the fuck—

A woman was lying next to him. Chestnut hair, blue dress—

Rachel Jennings.

Oh.

She was dressed. Fully dressed, shoes and all.

Roy looked down at himself. He was shirtless, his slacks unbuttoned and halfway down his hips.

He didn't like what this situation pointed to.

He didn't remember a damn thing from last night. Just the party, booze, and more booze…

How much had he drunk?

Quickly making himself decent he went into the little kitchen he and Maes shared, and froze. Maes was sitting at the table reading a newspaper.

He grinned at Roy's dishevelled state. "Glad you're alive, buddy."

Roy blinked. "What the fuck happened last night."

Maes chuckled. "There was a big operation; an attempt at your seduction. Lots of alcohol. You kept babbling about what name the State will give you when you pass the exam. We settled on The Dumbass Alchemist."

Roy blinked some more. Then went to the sink to get water.

He heard heels clicking on the floor. He turned.

Rachel Jennings was glaring at him, hair mussed and makeup smudged.

"Good morning," he offered, a bit lamely. Then decided to ask, "Did we…?"

She huffed, attempting to flatten her hair. "We would've if you could get hard."

Maes snorted, then badly attempted to cover it with a cough.

Oh.

Rachel scowled at him. "See you around, I guess."

He'd rather not.

With that, she was gone, out the door, and straight onto Roy's list of People To Avoid At All Costs: Life Or Death.

Maes slapped him on the shoulder, a sad attempt at comfort. "Don't worry, buddy," he started, and Roy would really rather not— "It happens to the best of us."

Roy's cheeks were flaming when he woke up. Embarrassment was flowing through his every vein, but dread was what gripped his stomach.

Utter dread at the sheer amusement that was flowing through the bond.

Ed could now laugh at him through the fucking bond.

Fucking brat.

Roy had to, pathetically, gather enough courage to get out of bed.

He busied himself with gathering his clothes for after his shower, and then gathered even more courage to open his bedroom door.

Ed was lazily lying on his mattress, arms supporting his head. He was smirking at Roy as though he knew he'd been coming. When he saw the deadpan look Roy was giving him, he snickered.

"You can't tell me that has never happened to you."

Ed's snicker turned into a laugh. "Nah," he said, and gave Roy the dirtiest look, and Roy then had to deal with fucking tingles— "You get me plenty hard."

Heat crawled up his neck as he decided to stride past Ed, to the bathroom.

"And I don't make myself have sex with people I'm not attracted to."

Roy whirled around, glaring. "I was drunk!"

Ed snorted. "Even worse."

Roy all but slammed the bathroom door behind him.

Why couldn't Ed have another embarrassing dream? That way Roy would have some of his fucking control back and he could tease Ed to the depths of hell. This bond had been disproportionally affecting Roy this entire time, and while Ed's theory of Roy being repressed made an annoying amount of sense, Roy secretly held a grudge. The bond favoured Ed.

He was going to take his time in the shower. The hot water was relaxing him, and his mind travelled. He pondered the dream for a moment. While he knew inebriation could cause issues with, well, response, Roy also wondered about the fact that he hadn't actually been attracted to Rachel Jennings at all.

God, this was so long ago, what did it even matter?

Why had his brain even remembered that? He hadn't thought about it in years, and yet now it had decided to present the memory right in front of Ed on a silver platter. Perhaps his brain was conspiring with the bond. Which was conspiring with Ed.

Yes.

What was he going to do about Ed?

It was another question that plagued him.

Roy had yet to pinpoint exactly what he was planning, and it was putting him on edge. As though he should be on high alert, expecting some fucking attack.

It was just Ed. But his body had all sorts of responses to that, what was one more?

Unbidden, his mind presented him with just what his body thought of Ed. The slow thrum of desire crept up on him, and by the time he noticed he was almost fully hard.

God fucking dammit.

Roy begrudgingly turned the hot water to freezing cold.

Roy should really start expecting the unexpected.

He'd planned today to be a heavy catching up day, considering yesterday he'd all but given it up in favour of being a complete pervert, but he found himself on the phone.

It wasn't unusual for him to get a phone call. That was why he had the office phone on his desk, after all. But he hadn't expected the words that came out of the man's mouth.

"General, sir, we have a civilian asking for permission to visit Shan Young."

Roy blinked. And then blinked some more. His eyes were absently on Ed, who was simply coincidentally in front of him, reading on the couch.

His mind blanked for a split second, and then he wondered if one of her friends was truly that insane that they'd try to visit her in Central Prison.

"Who is it?" Roy asked, his voice commanding enough to hide his bewilderment.

"Alphonse Elric."

Roy's blood froze in his veins.

What was Alphonse doing in Central?

Ed didn't know. Roy knew Ed didn't know about this.

Roy was actually so stunned he felt eerily calm. He tried to cool the small sliver of panic, tried to school his feelings into the perfect blank canvas. He wasn't sure why. He just had a feeling that if Ed didn't know about this, it was because Alphonse didn't want him to know.

Was he staying at the dorms?

He wanted to see Shan Young. Roy wasn't going to refuse Alphonse's help. His gut told him Alphonse was going to be a massive asset in helping them break the bond, and, truthfully, he was curious to see what sweet, persuasive Alphonse could get out of her.

But his eyes focused on Ed sitting completely oblivious on the couch. He would be furious if he knew Roy had kept this from him. But he might also try to stop Alphonse, and Roy knew for a fact Alphonse could handle himself. Ed being an overprotective brother would just hinder any potential progress. Was that what Alphonse had thought too?

He had to favour the potential for progress over Ed's feelings. He had to act like a commanding officer, like someone who was in charge, and not let this weird situation with Ed affect his work decisions. A commanding officer didn't have to ask permission from his subordinate for anything.

He'd just make sure Ed never found out. It would be his and Alphonse's little secret.

"Permission granted."

He slammed the phone down and took a moment to gaze at Ed. And tried to smother the guilt.

Goddammit, he had sworn not to get in between the Elrics.

How had he ended up in the cafeteria?

As he and Ed queued for food, Roy pondered that question.

It wasn't that Ed had forced him to. In fact, Ed had yet again been suspiciously neutral the entire day.

But Roy had felt guilty, so when Ed declared his hunger and teased him about going to the cafeteria, Roy reluctantly agreed. Ed had immediately been suspicious, and that narrow-eyed look he'd pinned Roy with had been extremely uncomfortable to bear, but thankfully it hadn't lasted long.

And now, as he stood in the middle of the cafeteria, he found himself surveying the room. Hoping, praying, no one was looking at them with too much interest. He wasn't panicking about the current situation, but he was most definitely on edge.

When they got to the front of the queue, Maria and Sara beamed at him, and he gave them his usual charming smile. But it felt tighter that usual.

They got their food and promptly sat at a table opposite each other, Roy doing another sweep of the room with his eyes. Just in case.

"How do you even eat this shit everyday?"

Ed's voice snapped him out of his reverie. He observed as Ed scrunched his face up in disgust at the food in front of him.

Roy shifted in his seat, gazing at his own half eaten sandwich on his tray. Cafeteria food was by no means the best, but it was edible. By Roy's standards anyway. "Your diet is as appalling as mine, I don't think you're in any position to judge."

Ed all but threw the dry pastry in the tray and picked up his orange juice. "How are you even that fit eating this crap? You sit at a desk doing fuck all every day too."

Roy glanced at him, wondering what to comment on. The fact that Ed had called him fit, or the jab about his lifestyle?

"I could say the same goes for you."

Ed snorted, leaning back in his seat and smirking. "Yeah but you're old."

Roy didn't miss a beat. "By that logic you're into old men."

Ed flushed bright red and stared at him in shock, and Roy felt a brief flash of panic. He hadn't said that too loud, had he? While he knew Ed didn't care about his reputation, Roy didn't want to be the one who accidentally started a damaging rumour about him.

He discreetly looked around, sighing softly in relief when no one seemed to have heard.

Then he let the smirk loose. He always loved catching Ed off guard. And embarrassing him. And teasing him. And certainly pleasuring him had been—

He was not going there in the military cafeteria.

Desire flowed through the bond, and Roy snapped his eyes up to Ed's. He was still flushed, but his eyes were piercing, his chest heaving with breaths deeper than their current setting called for.

Roy felt his own body responding.

Dammit Ed.

Was this how the bond was exaggerating things then? Was Roy's body responding to Ed's desire through the bond? And was Ed's body responding to Roy's desire? Was the bond feeding them each other's arousal, until it mounted to something so strong neither of them could resist?

But what if the bond wasn't there? They wouldn't be able to arouse each other like this.

He cleared his throat and stood, abandoning his sandwich in the tray. He wasn't hungry anymore.

They'd best get back to the office, lest he had to walk all the way to the fourth floor with a hard-on.

"The absolute pleasure to see the faces of two of my favourite alchemists!"

They both froze.

Roy's eyes settled on Colonel Armstrong, who was positively glowing at them. He could've sworn Ed gulped.

"Colonel," Roy greeted breezily, only slightly uncomfortable. "What a pleasant surprise."

Armstrong came to a halt right in front of Roy, causing him to crane his neck to catch his gaze. It was only slightly embarrassing. It was moments like these that he sympathised with Ed. Not that he'd tell him that of course.

"General Mustang," Armstrong greeted with a nod. Then, his gaze went to Ed, and he looked almost teary. "Major Elric! I am so glad you have returned from your recovery time in Resembool so strong and healthy! You must tell me how my dear Alphonse is!"

Ed shifted on his feet and gave a hesitant smile. "He's fine. Definitely stronger. Healthier." He seemed to be sweating.

Armstrong wiped a stray tear with his handkerchief. "You have no idea how much hearing that pleases me! He therefore must be in perfect health to attend the ball!"

Roy narrowed his eyes. "The ball?" He had heard nothing about that, and he was a General.

Armstrong put his handkerchief back in his breast pocket. "Why of course! The Fuhrer has blessed me with the opportunity to host such an important celebration of the Promised Day!"

Roy shot Ed a glance. Ed shrugged helplessly.

Roy cleared his throat and smiled at Armstrong. "I haven't received any information regarding—"

"Ah!" Armstrong exclaimed, nearly brushing against Roy. Roy took a hesitant step back. "The invites must have not been sent yet! I am sure you will receive yours in no time at all!"

A quick glance around told Roy everyone was looking at them now. His smile was frozen on his face as he said, "I am sure we will, Colonel. Now if you excuse us, Fullmetal and I need to return to work."

"Such dedicated men you are! Always working for a better future!"

Roy decided he and Ed best get out of the cafeteria as the threat of a bone crushing hug loomed above them.

"Is Xingese all you live on?"

Roy turned to shoot Ed a glare over his shoulder. He was depositing their noodles into two bowls, and his stomach was making very eager sounds for said Xingese.

"I don't remember you offering to cook."

Ed scoffed behind him. "You could've at least ordered Cretan or something. Or literally anything but Xingese. I'm gonna start hurling from the smell I've had it that many times."

Roy handed him his bowl, unimpressed. "What can I say, I'm a creature of habit."

"You're just a lazy bastard."

Despite his complaints, he seemed to be inhaling the food fast enough.

Roy sighed, deciding against starting an argument and stared at the paper in front of him. He could've sworn he'd only just written a stupid update report to Grumman. The weeks were going way faster than Roy was comfortable with.

At least he had a lot of updates to give him this time; no waffling necessary.

But because of the complicated nature of the array, writing this report would take Roy quite a bit more time than usual. He didn't want to get anything wrong, but he didn't want to get Ed to tell him what to write either. He wasn't going to let Ed think he was useless.

He was not useless.

They ate their noodles in silence. Ed had abandoned the array for tonight. It surprised Roy, that Ed was capable of taking a break.

It surprised him that much that he felt on edge about it. Perhaps he really was a creature of habit.

Or perhaps he was waiting for Ed to do something.

Just two nights ago Roy had been pushed against the very counter behind him, with Ed on his knees in front of him. And now they were eating at the kitchen table like it never happened.

No, Ed's smug, cocky smirk had alarm bells ringing in Roy's brain ever since he bore witness to it.

Roy tried to focus on making an outline for his report. A first draft.

Ed was quiet opposite him. He braved a glance to find Ed watching him. He acted cool, unbothered, but his heart betrayed him once again.

"Like what you see?" he drawled, hoping to embarrass him into looking away, his pen still scrawling on the paper.

He didn't know what answer he expected to that, but it wasn't, "A lot, actually."

Roy's pen froze on the paper, and he braved another glance at Ed. The brat was smirking at him, leaning back in his chair.

Now Roy really was on high alert. The anxiety was taking hold of him, but he tried taking discreet breaths to tame it. Maybe it wasn't anxiety, maybe it was anticipation. Maybe he was anticipating when Ed would pounce—figuratively speaking, of course. He didn't think Ed would actually pounce on him.

He wouldn't.

Right?

With Ed's eyes still on him, he decided to take the empty bowls to the sink. To give himself a bit of breathing time while he washed them. Ponder how to structure the report.

Ed came up next to him and leaned against the counter. Roy refused to look at him, focusing on his very important task of making these bowls spotless.

Ed chuckled, crossing his arms. "Why are you nervous?"

Roy acted casually surprised, raising his brows. It took an alarming amount of will power to catch Ed's gaze. "I'm not."

Ed bit his bottom lip to stifle a grin, and Roy's eyes stared a bit too long. He cleared his throat and focused once again on the dishes.

But then Ed touched him. His warm hand wrapped around his bicep and Roy went rigid.

Was Ed actually planning on seducing him? He could scarcely believe that Edward Elric could ever devise a plan to seduce him, Roy Mustang. But his life had been filled with all sorts of unprecedented things the past month, so nothing should really be surprising anymore.

"What are you doing?" he asked, making sure his voice came out bored, disinterested. As if Ed would ever believe he was disinterested after the last few days.

From the corner of his eye, he saw Ed shrug, and then he was even closer, and Roy wasn't washing dishes anymore.

He couldn't decide if he was getting aroused or panicking. His body had been on high alert for a while, and now Ed was—what was he doing?

Roy caught his wrist. His hand had travelled up his arm to his collar, and Roy held on to it, gripping it a bit harder than necessary. He met Ed's eyes, and made sure his expression was ominous. "Is this what you've been planning then? To seduce me?"

Ed cocked his head and narrowed his eyes at him. "Is it working?"

"No."

Ed grinned.

Was it? Roy could feel the beginnings of desire stirring in his lower abdomen. Ed's scent was making his mouth go dry, and the hand he had wrapped around his wrist was way too aware of his warmth.

But Roy wasn't convinced. He didn't know if he'd ever be convinced, when the bond was involved. "Why do you even want to seduce me, when you know the bond is influencing us so heavily?"

Roy waited for his answer. He truly wanted to know. Maybe Ed would confirm what Roy had assumed; that the bond just made him horny and he wanted to pass the time while they were soul bonded, that the thought of having Roy, his commanding officer, was a power thing for him, and now that he knew Roy was responsive, it was amusing.

He was waiting for Ed to confirm that this had nothing to do with Ed being interested in Roy at all, but a temporary want he was trying to fulfil, uncaring that it was so heavily fuelled by the bond.

Ed paused. Roy let go of his wrist, and tried to remain stoic under Ed's searching gaze.

"It's never been the bond for me."

Roy could've sworn his heart stopped.

But Ed continued. "I've wanted you for years. The bond has just—made it impossible to ignore, I guess."

Roy stared at him, eyes wide. Ed stared back, apprehensive and hesitant.

He wasn't breathing. The lump in his throat prevented him from breathing.

No, that couldn't be right. What was Ed saying?

Roy broke the eye contact, and stared at his hands instead, which were gripping the counter in a death grip. He tried to take a deep breath, but realised he couldn't. He couldn't breathe.

"Maybe this is your fault after all, then. Maybe your soul wanted to bond with mine and that's why the array worked."

What was he saying? That had barely sounded like his voice to his own ears.

"Are you fucking serious right now?"

He couldn't look at Ed. He clenched his teeth and tried to ignore the flicker of hurt through the bond. Ed wasn't meant to be hurt by this. He was meant to be angry. To yell at Roy how much he hated him, that he was a bastard, that he wanted nothing to do with him. He wasn't meant to feel rejected and hurt.

Roy didn't know what to say. He felt trapped, cornered, and his brain wasn't providing him with words anymore—it had shut down, and all that was left was panic.

"You're being a dick."

There was the anger. Good. Roy managed to turn his head to glare at him, and gave him a tense smile full of hate. Self hate. It was squeezing his stomach so hard he momentarily felt nauseous.

Ed couldn't want him. Why would Ed want this?

Ed frowned, and the anger left, replaced with concern. His hand went back to his bicep. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Roy gritted out.

Ed came closer, and Roy squeezed his eyes shut. He needed to get a fucking grip—

"Breathe."

That was when Roy realised he was hyperventilating. Shallow breaths was the only thing he could manage, the lump in his throat unrelenting. He wrenched out of Ed's hold. "Don't tell me what to do."

Ed roughly grabbed his elbow and forced him down into a chair. Roy tried his damned hardest to appear as composed as he possibly could while trying to steady his breathing.

He was having a full blown panic attack in front of Ed. How fucking embarrassing.

"And you call me stubborn, fucking hell."

His hands were blocks of ice compared to Ed's warm ones.

Ed touched his hair, and it felt so good, but Roy brushed him off, annoyance gripping him alongside the panic.

He took the hint and retracted his hand, but that made Roy even more annoyed. He reached forwards and grabbed Ed's sweatpants, pulling him closer.

Ed froze for a moment, unsure what Roy wanted him to do. Roy didn't even know himself. His arms were shaking as they wrapped around Ed's waist, his forehead sweaty as it rested against Ed's chest.

It wasn't unusual for him to have a panic attack, but fuck he hadn't had one this bad in a while.

He'd been under a lot of stress these past few weeks. He should've expected this.

He always bottled all his feelings up in a nice little ball, sometimes he didn't even realise he'd been pushing it all down until it erupted like this. The smaller and tighter the ball, the less visible it was—which was perfect. But the problem was that there was only so much space; it had to come out at some point.

Ed's warm palm on the base of his clammy neck was soothing. It travelled up to his hair, and Roy tried to focus on that instead, hoping that would distract him enough for his body to stop freaking out.

With one hand, Ed massaged his neck, and with the other he massaged his scalp. It was probably the nicest thing anyone had ever done for him.

The panic attack had no chance of staying, not when Ed so effectively made his heart burst in his chest.

Ed rested his cheek on his head, right where his fingers were working their magic. "I'm sorry," he mumbled, and that was when Roy managed to detect the guilt through the bond.

Why was he feeling guilty? He hadn't done anything wrong. He was just perfect.

The panic had simmered down, but Roy didn't extract himself from his embrace with Ed. Just a minute longer, he told himself. Just to be sure the panic had fully gone—

No, he was lying to himself again.

He just wanted to hold Ed for a little while longer.

"Is this helping?" Ed asked, the hand on his neck moving lower, massaging between his shoulder blades under his shirt.

"Yeah," Roy managed. His arms pulled him closer, causing Ed to step forwards.

"It used to help me too."

Ed used to have panic attacks?

It shouldn't have surprised him as much as it did. What Ed had been through—Roy tried to picture himself, losing two limbs at eleven years old, joining the military at twelve. And by eighteen having helped save the whole country. No, Roy wouldn't have been able to handle that kind of pressure.

He wondered who had done this for him. Who had held him, massaging his nape and his scalp? Was it Alphonse? Or someone else, who Roy had not known Ed had such a deep connection with?

The jealousy he felt had no place being there. Roy's jealousy wasn't endearing and flattering like Ed's. It was ugly and possessive and dangerous. He tried to push it down, but he was so tired.

He was so tired of battling with his emotions.

Roy pulled back just the slightest, his hands on Ed's waist, and tilted his head up to catch Ed's gaze. Ed looked down at him, his expression so open and caring Roy wanted to wrap his arms around him again. "Do you still have them?"

Ed shook his head. "Al's okay."

Alphonse, Ed's world. Alphonse, who was in Central right now and Roy knew and Ed didn't. Alphonse, who had been to see Shan Young, and Roy had approved it without asking Ed.

The guilt squeezed his chest again, the self-hatred a familiar demon.

He averted his gaze, pushing himself back, leaning against the chair and away from Ed.

"Alphonse was right," he said, and Ed frowned at him in confusion. "You really are truly kind."

And Roy really didn't deserve that kindness, but he savoured it anyway. He craved it, wanted it for himself.

He wanted Ed.