Waking Up

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to SM.

Attraction

They ended up on the beach again, wandering aimlessly. Jacob was in a good mood, happy and relaxed because of the surprise of Bella's impromptu visit.

Bella wasn't so relaxed. She knew she was going to have to explain the reason behind her last-minute decision to come to La Push. She knew once she told Jacob, that it would it validate everything in his mind concerning Edward and his family.

Plucking up the courage, she finally explained to him what had happened, how Alice had practically planned to kidnap her for the weekend on Edward's say so. She left out the part where Edward had bribed his sister with a new Porsche, that part still stung, and she wasn't willing to share the hurt and pain that this had caused her.

To Bella's astonishment, Jacob didn't seem surprised by what Edward had Alice had cooked up between them, it was almost like he was expecting something like this might happen.

"Do you think they'll come looking for you?" He asked.

"No." Bella was fairly certain about that. "They're going to be furious with me tonight, though."

Jacob picked up a rock and chucked it into the waves. "Don't go back after Sam and Emily's party, then." He suggested.

"Charlie would love that." Bella said sarcastically.

"I bet he wouldn't mind."

Bella didn't answer. Jacob was probably right, Charlie's preference for her Quileute friends was blatantly obvious. She wondered if he would feel the same if he knew the choice was between werewolves and vampires.

"Dad thinks I'm having a girls slumber party with Alice and Esme."

"What? Are you five?" Jacob exclaimed. "Charlie fell for that?"

"I think Alice may have worked her charms on him." Bella guessed. "Dad has always had a soft spot for her. She can come and go as she pleases. Its Edward he's outright banned from the house."

Jacob drew to a halt, his brow furrowing into a deep frown. "Look, Bella, you already know what I think. So, I'm not going to rehash everything I've already said. But you know this isn't healthy, right? They were intent on holding you hostage. That must concern you a little, surely?"

Bella looked away. "I wouldn't have run away here if I was happy about it."

"Sure, sure."

Bella waited for Jacob to start walking again, but he seemed lost in thought. "Are you okay, Jake?" She wondered.

Jacob smiled wryly. "I forget what its like, not having everyone know everything all the time. Having a quiet place inside my head."

They resumed walking along the stony beach quietly for a few more minutes. After a little while Jacob stopped again, he frowned, and then turned to stare at Bella. He gazed into her eyes without speaking, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration.

"What are you staring at?" Bella asked, feeling self-conscious.

Jacob sighed. "Nothing." He started walking again. Without seeming to think about it, he reached out and took Bella's hand. They paced silently across the rocks.

Bella thought about how they must look walking hand in hand down the beach-like a couple, certainly-and wondered if she should object. But this was the way it had always been between her and Jacob….it was pointless getting worked up about it now.

They had always had a touchy-feely kind of friendship from the beginning. If she remembered correctly, she had been the one to initiate the first hug. So, in her mind, it would be ridiculous to set physical boundaries now. And, anyway, she found she didn't want to. Her hand felt warm in Jacob's, his touch was soothing, it calmed her in a way that Edward's wasn't able to. Bella immediately stopped that train of thought, she didn't want to go down that road, comparing one to the other, especially as she was still a little mad at Edward right now for the whole attempted kidnapping thing.

The rain had finally softened, turning to a fine mist.

"C'mon, Bella. Let's go back to the house and get our bikes. You've got to ride a motorcycle regularly to keep it in tune." Jacob suggested.

Bella hesitated. "I really don't think I'm allowed."

"By who? Charlie or the blood – or him?"

"Both."

Jacob's face broke out into a broad smile, the smile reminded Bella of the Jacob she missed the most, sunny, and warm.

She couldn't help grinning back. She suddenly felt like being a bit reckless, just to pay Edward back a little. Of course, it wasn't like she was ever going to tell him about it, but it made her feel better anyway.

"I won't tell anyone." Jacob promised.

"Except every one of your friends."

Jacob shook his head soberly and raised his right hand. "I promise not think about it."

Bella laughed. "If I get hurt, it was because I tripped."

Jacob rolled his eyes. "You won't get hurt, Bella. You're an experienced rider now." He stated confidently.

They rode their motorcycles on the back roads of La Push until the rain made them too muddy and Jacob insisted that he was going to pass out if he didn't eat again soon. Billy had returned from the Clearwaters by the time they returned to the house. He greeted her easily, pleased that she had managed to track Jacob down.

After they ate the sandwiches that Jacob made, they went to the garage and Bella helped him clean the bikes. She hadn't been there in months-since Edward had returned-and she experienced an overwhelming feeling of nostalgia for her former sanctuary.

"This is nice." She commented when Jacob pulled the warm sodas from the grocery bag. "I've missed this place."

Jacob smiled, looking around at the plastic sheds bolted together over their heads. "Yeah, I can understand that. All the splendor of the Taj Mahal, without the inconvenience of traveling to India."

"To Washington's Taj Mahal." Bella toasted, holding up her can.

Jacob touched his can to hers, smiling fondly.

"Do you remember the last Valentine's Day? I think that was the last time you were here-the last time when things were still…normal, I mean."

Bella smiled wistfully. "Of course, I remember. I traded a lifetime of servitude. That's not something you forget."

Jacob looked at her a little sadly. "That's right. Hmm, servitude. I'll have to think of something good." Then he sighed. "It feels like it was years ago. Another era. A happier one."

Bella found herself agreeing with him, then paused, thinking Edward's return should be her happy era now. But she was surprised to realize how many things she missed from her own personal dark ages. She stared through the opening at the murky forest. The rain had picked up again, but it was warm in the little garage, sitting next to Jacob. He was as good as a furnace.

Suddenly, Bella felt his fingers brush over her hand. "Things have really changed." He said, his voice full of regret.

The pull of attraction swirled between them as invisible ropes, as if the chords were made of future love and laughter, of what they had come to signify to one another.

Confusion swirled around Bella as she tried to work out the context of these strange new impulses. "Yeah." She said, her voice shaking a little as she reached out and patted the back tire of her bike as a distraction. "Charlie used to like me. I hope Billy doesn't say anything about today…" She bit her lip. "I feel like I'm betraying him, you know. That I'm breaking my promise."

"He won't." Jacob said huskily. "Billy doesn't get worked up about things the way Charlie does. Hey, I never did apologize officially for that stupid move with the bike. I'm really sorry about ratting you out to Charlie. I wish I hadn't."

"Me, too." Bella rolled her eyes.

"I'm really, really sorry."

Jacob looked at her hopefully, his wet, tangled black hair sticking up in every direction around his pleading face.

"Oh, fine! You're forgiven."

"Thanks, Bells!"

They grinned at each other for a second, and the same attraction between them made itself felt again, becoming a tangible thread in the air before either of them spoke another word.

The newfound feelings she was experiencing sent Bella into a tailspin, and she began to panic. Her steady composure evaporated as if she was a spinning top that needed his hand to stop. She had never been emotionally independent; she had always formed strong bonds of love. Bella had fallen in love only one other time, and it was a very sudden, dramatic, sweep-you-off-your-feet, change-your-world, magical, passionate, all-consuming thing. Edward had been her whole world…. no…. was her whole world.

Bella struggled to acknowledge that anything could change. It had always been Edward. She was wasn't self-aware enough to recognize the much more subtle signs that her feelings toward Jacob had gone far beyond simple friendship. All she knew was that she preferred being with him over everyone else, that he was constantly on her mind, and that his happiness was essential to her own. She also enjoyed being physically close to him in a way that she didn't with her other friends. She could feel the compulsion to reach out and touch his face in a tender caress, her fingers twitched, seeming to want to act of their own volition. She fought down the urge, averting her gaze from the intensity of his, in an effort to break the intimacy of the moment.

Still, the air remained charged between them.

Jacob's face clouded over. He was well aware of Bella's renewed attempt at denial. The longing was there. He could sense it. He could feel it. He knew she did, too. It was written in every line of her body, every subtle curve, the way her gaze lingered a little too long when she looked at him. He wished she would give in to it, or at the very least acknowledge the possibility, but Bella had become a world class champion at fooling herself.

Jacob had promised himself that he would, that he could be patient, that he would wait for as long as Bella needed to figure it out for herself. But, in intense moments like these, he found his resolve tested to the limit.

"Bella, you know that day, when I brought the bike over… I've been wanting to tell you something." He said slowly, his resolve weakening. "But also…not wanting to."

Bella held very still – a reaction to stress.

"There are times the longing to see you overwhelms me and I feel angry. That's partly why I did it." Jacob confessed. "The anger is masking my sadness. There is only so much sadness of separation we can take, right? Well, that's how I feel."

It was so much less then he wanted to say, but still enough for Bella to understand the physical and emotional distress that the situation was causing him.

"I – I feel it, too." Bella admitted in a low voice. "Oh, Jake, I – "Her throat felt swollen. She couldn't finish.

Jacob closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He was trembling just slightly.

Bella stared at his face in anguish, waiting for his eyes to open again.

Jacob inhaled, slow and deep, before his eyes flashed open, their black depths full of the sadness that he couldn't quite hide. Bella felt his pain as if it were her own. It was like a physical ache.

"Jake, I'm - "

Jacob reached out and put his forefinger over her lips. "Hush, don't say anything else." He said, forcing a smile onto his face. "I'm fine. I really am." He pushed himself back onto his feet, holding out his hand to help her rise. "Come on, Bells. It's late. We should start heading over to Sam and Emily's."

Relieved but crestfallen at the same time, Bella placed her hand in his, he hauled her up easily as if she weighed little more than a feather. Then, with hands still entwined, they drifted back to the house.

A/N-thanks for reading!