Chapter Twenty Six

"Think she's awake yet?"

"Probably not. It's barely after lunch."

"Do you really think she stayed up all night?"

"Well I'm certainly not calling his excellence a liar."

The voices were muffled, drifting over from the other room, but Nel could make them out as she woke up. She blinked a few times, stretching her arms as much as she could.

The voices had continued. It sounded like two women, but Nel didn't recognize them.

"Why would she do that though?"

"Why else? Attention. She knows that he doesn't care about her, so she's trying to get his attention."

"But she's so quiet!"

"Exactly. It's the quiet ones you've got to watch out for."

Her head felt heavy and groggy. What exactly happened? The last thing she remembered was Selethen grabbing the book from her and then…had she fallen asleep?

Looking around, Nel saw that she was back in her bed, the sun shining brightly through the windows. Had she slept all day? Why was she so cold? Her throat was killing her.

"Do you really think he doesn't care about her? I mean, he's had us with her all day and has been up to check on her twice!"

"He's got to put on a show for the treaty, that's all. Trust me, the Wakir could never care for an Araluen."

Araluen…her? The words finally started to register in her mind and she strained her ears trying to hear the next ones.

"And how do you know that?"

"Because she's Araluen. He can never trust her. Her people weren't afraid to kill an Emrikir, do you really think that they would stop at a Wakir?"

"But the treaty-"

"Means nothing to Araluen." the voice snapped, "Don't you remember how our last treaty with them turned out? Mark my words, as soon as this war is over, she's going to make her move."

"I just can't believe that she's a killer. I mean, I don't like her anymore than you do, but she's a doctor! Doctors don't kill anyone!"

"Except for her. She killed her last two patients in Araluen, remember? It's a perfect cover, no one would suspect her. At least they've been smart about her help at the hospital. I can't imagine actually letting her treat anyone."

"The Emrikir wouldn't have made his ward marry a woman who was going to kill him." the other voice insisted.

There was a huff, "The Emrikir has fallen for the lies. We're just lucky that Seley el'then hasn't."

"What do you mean?"

"Look at the evidence, or should I say lack of it? He doesn't care for or trust her excellence one bit."

Nel winced at the mocking tone the woman used.

"Lack of it? What are you-"

"Oh for pity's sake, are you an idiot? The entire town knows! They've barely spent any time together, certainly not any time showing affection, and I've heard it straight from the guards that his excellence never leaves the office until very late at night, when he knows for certain that the Araluen is asleep and harmless."

There was a gasp as the words sank in and the woman continued, sounding very smug, "The Wakir doesn't want her, but has to keep up some semblance of appearances. This is the best compromise, and at least he's been smart enough not to consummate the marriage. I can only imagine the horrors of having some half-Araluen spawn inherit his title. Al Shabah would be completely ruined."

Nel tuned out the rest of the conversation, not wanting to hear anymore, and burrowed back into her blankets.

That couldn't be true. Selethen didn't hate her, what happened yesterday proved that. He told her the reason why he had been coming home late. He didn't think of her as an assassin…did he?

He said he trusted her, she just had to believe him. She had to, he was her husband, he deserved that much.

Quickly, she wiped the few tears away that had escaped. She'd cried enough yesterday.

Nel knew that the people of Al Shabah hated her, but she'd had no clue it was this bad. Did they really think that she was sent here as an assassin?

Sniffling, Nel closed her eyes and breathed deeply, trying to ease the ache in her heart. Eventually, she fell back asleep.

"Aranel…Aranel, wake up." the soft voice was paired with a light shaking on her shoulder.

Nel groaned, rolling over to try to get away from it. Someone chuckled, "Aranel, please. Maajid is here."

"Hmmm?" she hummed, finally opening her eyes. Selethen was sitting next to her with Maajid standing behind him with a small smile, his medicine bag slung over his shoulder.

"What time is it?" she mumbled, pain shooting across her throat as she did so.

"Just before dinner." Selethen answered, sliding an arm around her shoulders to help her sit up. Nel was very happy he did. As soon as she was upright, a wave of dizziness came over her and she almost fell forward. He held her a little tighter as Maajid filled up a cup with water.

"I tried coming earlier to see you, but thought it best to let you sleep," he said, handing her the cup. Gingerly she took a few swallows, the cool liquid soothing some of the pain. She hadn't realized how thirsty she was.

When she was done, Maajid began his exam, gently feeling her throat, "Symptoms started last night?"

"This morning." Selethen clarified, "She was fine at dinner, but didn't get any sleep."

"And you've slept all day today?"

Nel shook her head slowly, instantly regretting it as the dizziness came back.

"I woke up for a little bit earlier, but it wasn't for very long." she said hoarsely, trying not to remember the conversation she'd overheard. She glanced at the tall man beside her. He seemed so genuinely worried and concerned, he had to care.

Right?

"I didn't know you woke up." he frowned, "I asked someone to stay with you and to get me if you did."

"It's ok." she mumbled.

He kept frowning, obviously thinking differently.

"I wouldn't worry." Maajid spoke up, "We've had something going around lately. You probably just picked it up at the hospital yesterday and spending the night next to an open window, and not getting any sleep, just made it worse."

The window had been open? Nel didn't remember that either.

"Plenty of rest and fluids and you'll be fine," Maajid said reassuringly, "Your fever broke while you were sleeping, so I'd say you're on the mend. Have some of this if your throat keeps bothering you. It's a light tonic, your recipe actually."

He put a small green bottle on the bedside table.

"Sorry you came all the way here for something so small."

He smiled at her, "I don't mind, you'd do the same for me."

"Thank you Maajid." Selethen said.

"I…also wanted to apologize again, for yesterday." Maajid said nervously.

"Yesterday?" Selethen asked.

Maajid raised his eyebrows in surprise, "Yes, when we were at the hospital. Didn't Nellie tell you?"

"No, she didn't." he turned his frown to her.

Nel avoided his gaze, "It's nothing. I-I didn't want to bother you."

"Evidently it's not nothing." he said, lips pressed together tightly, "What's happening at the hospital?"

Maajid opened his mouth to answer, but Nel spoke up quickly, "Just a misunderstanding with the medicines. N-N-Not everyone is used to my techniques yet. Th-That's all."

Selethen huffed, "You're a horrible liar. Now one of you, tell me the truth."

Maajid gave her an apologetic look before telling him a summary of what had occurred. By the end of it, Selethen looked outraged.

"I don't believe it, everyone there is doing this?! You've been letting this happen?!" he roared. He went to stand as well, but Nel grabbed his hand tightly, silently begging him to calm down.

"Again, I must apologize. I was only thinking about what might make people comfortable now, that's why I never said anything. I wasn't considering what the long term effects of that response would be. I asked them for a little time to get used to her at the hospital, but I had no clue it would turn into this." the doctor bowed his head deeply.

"W-We knew that people wouldn't trust me right away." Nel whispered.

"You're a doctor and you're trying to help them. They should at least be willing to give you a chance!"

"I take full blame for what occurred at the hospital. I've already spoken to the staff there and everything Nellie has made for us has officially been put in rotation." Maajid assured him.

"And it's staying that way." Selethen demanded angrily, "I won't have anyone in this town holding her responsible for something that occurred 16 years ago."

"Sele-"

"No Aranel. I'm not budging on this. They need to learn to trust you. I'm not asking for them to suddenly forgive 16 years of animosity towards Araluen, but they can at least respect you and your abilities. You are completely innocent in what happened back then and you're doing nothing but trying to help them now!"

"W-We can't force them though." She said, "Trust has to be earned. It's a slow p-p-process, but we have to give them time."

"They've had nearly a month."

"They still need to get to know me. P-P-Please, just give it a little more time."

Selethen glared for another long moment before finally sighing in defeat, "Fine, but this will be resolved eventually."

"Of course." Maajid said. Selethen waved him off, still angry.

He nodded his head to the Wakir before leaving, letting them know to call for him if anything changed.

"Thank you," Nel hummed contently, leaning her head against Selethen's shoulder. She didn't have the energy to move right now and he wasn't pushing her away, so she took that as a win.

He just let out a resigned breath, "I just want you to be happy here. If the people don't accept you, that makes everything a lot harder."

"I know and I appreciate it."

"I'm sorry I wasn't able to stay with you today. I wanted to, but I had a lot to do and-"

"It's ok." she mumbled sleepily, "Did you talk to Aloom?"

"Yes, I did. I think the only time he ever looked happier was when I asked him to be my best man," he joked and Nel cracked a smile, "He's already left with a message for Aseik Umar. Hopefully he'll be back in a couple weeks."

"Then what?"

"Then we begin tracking the Tualaghi. I'll be going on that mission, but it shouldn't take long. We're hoping to have beaten the Tualaghi before the refugees arrive."

"The…refugees?" Nel looked up at him in confusion.

"Did I not tell you?" he asked, "Atanyan opened the borders to refugees from Toscana. We're supposed to start receiving them in another month or so."

"I thought Toscana hadn't been invaded yet?"

"They haven't, but the Toscan Senate doesn't want to waste time. The extra troops should've arrived by now so hopefully they never actually succeed at invading, but we can never be too sure."

Nel hummed again, not sure what to say. So much was going on and they couldn't be certain of anything. When had life gotten so complicated?

The two of them sat for a long time, not saying anything. Nel was actually starting to doze off again when there was a knock at the door.

"That'll be dinner." he said, slowly getting up.

Nel pouted to herself as he left to answer the door. Even if they hadn't been talking, the moment had been nice, she hadn't wanted it to end.

As quickly as she dared, Nel slowly got out of bed, putting on a light robe to cover her nightgown. Every movement threatened to let the dizziness take over, but if she moved very slowly, she felt fine.

Even though she wanted to do nothing more than go back to sleep, Nel knew it would be better to eat something first, especially since she hadn't had anything since dinner the night before.

She had barely taken one step outside the room before Selethen was by her side again, reaching out to try to steady her. She waved off his attempts to help. The dining room wasn't too far down the hall, she was certain she could make it.

The young man who had brought their dinner watched as she walked slowly to her seat.

"I'm fine," she said as she sat down, "You don't need to hover."

"Sorry, but you don't even look like you can sit up, let alone walk." Selethen said, not sounding sorry in the slightest.

"I'm just a little dizzy." she insisted.

He just raised an unbelieving eyebrow at her before dismissing the man and sitting down.

Nel bit back her reply. She knew how easy it was to push yourself past your limits when you were sick, she'd just forgotten as it had been years since she'd really been ill.

"So what were you reading last night? Must've been good if you didn't notice the time."

Nel glanced up from her dinner, a very tasty, if almost odorless, soup, "I…I finally went through my mother's things last night."

His jaw dropped a little in surprise, "You did?"

She nodded, not meeting his eyes, "I, um, well I couldn't sleep and then I-I started thinking about her. Th-Thought it was time."

"So that book…." he trailed off curiously.

"Her journal," Nel whispered before taking another bite. The hot liquid was doing wonders for her throat.

He nodded understandingly, "Is it difficult? Reading it?"

"It's strange." she admitted, "She's so different than I thought. She was-"

Nel cut herself off. It felt wrong to admit this to a man who didn't want her; it was far too personal.

But did he really not want her? Would he have been so concerned over her health and her work at the hospital if he didn't care? Would he trust her sleeping next to him every night if he thought she was an assassin? Except for last night, he had always returned after she fell asleep. True, he said that was because he didn't know how to act around her and so he avoided her, but what if that was a lie? What if it really was just appearances for the treaty?

The conversation she'd overheard between those maids had caused doubts she didn't even know she had to worm their way into her mind and nothing Nel told herself could stop them. Everything he had done and said could be an act.

But why? Why would he do that? Did he honestly think her capable of killing him?

"Aranel?" his voice roused her from her thoughts yet again.

"S-Sorry, I-I must still be tired."

"It's ok, let's get you back to bed." he stood up, intending to help her, but she waved her hands at him.

"Stay, I can make it."

He looked doubtful and she cursed her inability to keep a straight face. Hiding things had never been her strength.

Sparing a glance at her dinner, Nel's stomach almost rolled at the sight. It looked untouched, but there was no way she could stomach more than the few bites she'd had.

Standing up too quickly, the dizziness had her head spinning again.

Selethen was there immediately, grabbing her arm to steady her.

"Let me help." he insisted, "You can barely stand."

"I'm fine." she protested.

"You aren't alone here you know," he said, his tone annoyed as he wrapped an arm around her waist and began leading her back to bed, "It's ok to accept help now and then, as someone recently told me."

"I-I know, I'm just-" she stumbled over her own words.

"Just what? Just as stubborn as your father?" Selethen glared as they got to the bed, "From what I understand, your entire family is as stubborn as camels."

Nel sat on the bed slowly, trying to keep her anger in check, "What you call stubbornness, we call independence."

He barked out a short laugh, "Independence must mean something entirely different in Araluen, because here it doesn't mean 'letting yourself get sicker by refusing to get help'!"

"I'm not making myself get sicker!" she burst out, "Believe it or not, I can take care of myself! I'm not useless and I don't need to be taken care of all the time! I can actually handle things very well!"

"Is that what this is about, are you still angry about yesterday?! I apologized Aranel!"

"Yes, that's why you act like you don't even trust me to handle anything, not even to walk around on my own!" The words were spilling out of her mouth before she even realized it. She would've been more shocked by it, but Selethen was already yelling back at her.

"Of course I trust you! You think I would've married you if I didn't trust you?! Do you really think I would've just said all of that to Maajid if I didn't trust you myself?! I just want to take care of you! Why can't you trust me to do that?!"

"How can I trust you, I can't even get you to call me Nel! No matter how many times I tell you not to, you still call me Aranel!"

"That's your name! What else am I supposed to call you?!" he yelled, clearly exasperated.

"How about Nel or Nellie?! Literally anything other than Aranel! I hate the name Aranel!" she screamed.

Selethen's jaw had been clenched during the argument, but he relaxed it now, eyes widening at her admission.

Nel felt so annoyed with herself. This never happened, she couldn't remember the last time she had gotten into a full blown yelling match with anyone. Now here she was, her second fight in two days. It was like she was out of control. Her throat was killing her from all the yelling.

She saw Selethen take a deep breath, forcing himself to calm down.

"You never told me that."

"I-I've never told anyone." she confessed, her tone as hushed as his.

"Why?" he asked, sitting down gently on the bed.

"I-It's a stupid reason." she looked down at her hands, twisting her wedding ring around her finger. "I just always have though. It…It's what people call me to be proper, or if they're angry with me. I-I feel like Aranel is someone entirely different. She's the one that people want, the one p-people expect, but she isn't me. Compared to her, I'm just Nellie, a disappointment, and she's a stranger. It-It's a name meant for strangers and-"

"And I reminded you of all that every time I said it." Selethen interrupted her with a groan, "That's why you think I don't trust or care about you."

A lump formed in her throat as she remembered the conversation she'd overheard. And yet, as Selethen took her hands, looking at her with such an open and apologetic expression, she couldn't bring herself to speak up, to tell him about it.

"I'm sorry. I kept calling you Aranel because I didn't think I was worthy of calling you Nel. In Araluen I only say your family and people you really cared about call you that. I didn't want to try to force my way into your life anymore than I already have."

She squeezed his hands in return, "You're my husband, you are my family now."

"And you're mine." he said, smiling down at her.

Nel couldn't help it, she smiled back at him, feeling much lighter than before, "I'm sorry I yelled. I promise, I'm not still angry about yesterday. I-I-I don't know why I brought it up."

"Me too." he said, laughing slightly, "We're quite a pair, aren't we? Barely married and we keep fighting."

"Bet everyone downstairs loved hearing all that." Nel smirked.

"Actually, I doubt they heard anything. These walls absorb sound surprisingly well." Selethen said thoughtfully.

"Really?" she asked. "How do you know that?"

He gave her a sheepish look, "My first day as Wakir I may have…knocked over a lot of stuff in one of the storage rooms. Either they didn't hear or they were content leaving me up here, possibly injured."

Nel snorted, another smile stretching across his own face at the sight. Nel liked seeing him smile.

She took a deep breath, steadying herself for her next question, "D-Did you mean what you said? You wouldn't have married me if you didn't trust me?"

Selethen sighed, moving closer to her, but not meeting her eyes, "Yes, I did. Just because our marriage was arranged doesn't mean we didn't have a choice. We could've refused. If I had thought that we would be unhappy together or had the smallest hint of the idea that I couldn't trust you, I wouldn't have agreed to it. Yes, we both love our countries and that played a factor, but it's also more…complicated than that. I couldn't have sentenced you to an unhappy marriage no matter how much I loved Arrida. That's part of why I made the decision I did. Nellie, I honestly thought that I was your best chance at happiness. I know it sounds selfish, but I swear that it isn't, I never meant it that way."

"But-"

"It wouldn't be the first time I didn't listen to Atanyan and it certainly won't be the last." he cut her off with a pained grimace, "He may know what's best for Arrida, but that doesn't mean he knows what's best for me."

His hand tightened minutely around hers, but Nel hardly noticed.

"I'm sorry I doubted you." she whispered.

"It's ok," he whispered back, pulling her in for a hug.

Nel was only too happy to return it, burying her face in his neck. The action felt oddly familiar somehow, but she couldn't place how. She felt him turn his head slightly, placing an almost feather light kiss on her temple.

Her breath hitched as he did so, she couldn't stop herself from blushing. It was the first time he had kissed her since their wedding day.

"I know it's unconventional," he whispered into her hair, "But I really do want to make this work. We just…"

He trailed off and Nel had no problem finishing it for him, "Have to learn to live together."

She felt him smile again, "Exactly."

"I-I think we can do it."

"Does that mean you'll let me take care of you now?"

Nel laughed, finally pulling away from the hug to look up at him, "If you really want to, but I'm fine, I promise."

Selethen sighed, but looked amused this time, "Is this what they mean when they say doctors are the worst patients?"

"Maybe."

He laughed again, Nel joining in.

The words from earlier were still ringing through her head, but Nel pushed them away. The people of Al Shabah may not trust her, but Selethen said he did and that was all that mattered to her right now.