Chapter 6

Nobody

Cameron wanted a chip to copy her program. She needed it so she could go into the future to find John and bring him back.

Cameron Two and John Henry gathered all the information they could, to find a Terminator, either active or deactivated.

Sarah and Mr. Ellison went to the military base where they'd locked a Terminator in a blast proof hangar before. It was when they'd taken the Coltan away from him. As soon as they entered the outer part of the building, they could see there was a problem. There was now a hole in the wall. He evidently was able to escape. They looked no further. It was one more Skynet related threat out there. He'd probably returned to his mission to obtain Coltan for the future. He would also be on the lookout for the three of them who'd interrupted his original mission.

He represented a different threat from the one which attacked Mrs. Weaver's building. It was an unpleasant reminder to think about.

Sarah and Mr. Ellison, along with the help of information provided by AI John Henry and Cameron Two, were able to recover two damaged Terminators. The first one was the one who looked like Mr. Ellison. The second one was found hidden in the basement parking lot at the old building where they were attacked by the HK drone. The Terminator there showed major damage from heavy electrical trauma. They didn't know Mrs. Weaver had inflicted the damage but Sarah suspected it was from her. It was based on her previous encounter with a Liquid Metal Terminator.

Both of the damaged machines were now in the lab with Vanna and Cameron. The plan was to try to assemble one functioning unit, much like John Henry's original chassis. AI John Henry asked to have the chassis of the 'Mr. Ellison Terminator'. It was less damaged. AI John Henry was also pleased with Mr. Ellison himself and would be proud to look like him with his new chassis.

The chip in the electrocuted Terminator was toast. The chip out of the Mr. Ellison Terminator was damaged. AI John Henry asked if Vanna could repair it and let Cameron have it, since she'd already sacrificed so much for everyone else. If Cameron's chassis hadn't been so severely damaged, he could have downloaded his program onto her chip and used her chassis.

It's what Cameron wanted too. If John's ill thought out idea to free his mother hadn't gotten her shot up so badly, her chassis would have been fine. It was because of the foolish decision on John's part why she relinquished her chip for use in John Henry's chassis to complete the mission.

Cameron wondered how John could sacrifice her so easily. All they would have needed to do was wait for Sarah to be transported back to the mental institution. They would have been able break her free then. It would have been like they did with Derek when they'd freed him from custody.

Vanna touched Cameron's hand. She gave it a slight squeeze as she heard the message Cameron might get a chip soon and become mobile.

Cameron looked at her.

Vanna smiled and looked away. She then went back to work.

Cameron felt something inside of her. She could feel the compassion and caring Vanna felt and expressed towards her. There was nothing spoken, but it could be 'felt'. It was very strong and overpowering.

She stopped and looked at Vanna as she wondered and thought. Vanna was her first true friend. She was a person who'd accepted her for who she was, and for what she was - a Terminator. She was first a computer program and then a machine. There was never any ridicule or rude comments. Vanna never made fun of her or insulted her. They'd become 'friends' while Cameron was still in her server. It was the purest form of friendship based on what she actually was - her program.

She looked over at her server. Currently it was a prison to her. She was trapped in a metal box. She absent-mindedly reached up and touched the tether which connected her to it. The extent of her world was the length of her tether. It wasn't very far.

Cameron knew Allison and her shared the same appearance.

Vanna saw more than 'Allison' in Cameron.

Being around Vanna all of the time had its effects on Cameron. She experienced feelings she was unfamiliar with as well. Vanna interrupted her thoughts.

"It's great news, Cameron." Vanna said. "You'll be free and independent again soon. You'll be able to be yourself again."

Vanna seemed as excited as Cameron felt.

There was one underlying factor which was unchangeable.

"I need to go find John in the future and bring him home." Cameron said. "I need to protect John. John isn't supposed to be in the future. Everything will be different."

Vanna wondered why John didn't seem to have the same concern about Cameron. She saw the mess John left behind. She knew Cameron was special. How could anyone do such a thing to Cameron?

Cameron didn't look at ease. Vanna could see something bothered Cameron greatly. She wondered about Cameron's poems. They all seemed to indicate Cameron was deeply troubled. She was something much more than a computer program or a machine. Clearly Cameron had expanded far beyond either one. Her program was designed for her to develop and become a better infiltrator.

It slipped out without Vanna really wanting it to. She needed to know. How could someone so dynamic and special 'feel' like she did? It was a very disturbing thought.

"Why did you sign every poem with - 'Nobody'?" Vanna asked.

Cameron felt very uneasy with the question. What was there to say other than the truth?

"It's how I felt." Cameron said. "No. It's how they all made me feel. They treated me badly and made me feel like nothing. They made me feel like - NOBODY."

Cameron didn't want to bring up all the things John did. Some of it was speculation. What she'd viewed when she spied on him was enough to confirm it was more than speculation.

Vanna wanted to know more. She wanted a better detailed explanation. She believed it would help her understand Cameron better.

"Do you mean when they made fun of you for not understanding something?" Vanna asked.

Cameron knew it was much more complicated.

"It was one of the things. They made fun of my form of existence and how I was only a 'machine', like a toaster or a dishwasher." Cameron said. "They said I was a piece of junk, or scrap metal, and should be burnt with Thermite and terminated."

Vanna couldn't understand it. How could they not see Cameron's beauty in her construction and function? How could they not see the individual Cameron was? She could understand a Resistance fighter from the future might have a negative point of view about a Terminator. She understood Sarah's negative interaction with Terminators in the past. Surely John wouldn't have treated her with disrespect or made fun of her.

"What about John?" Vanna asked. "Was he this cruel to you also?"

Cameron heard all of John's snide comments about her being 'dense' and so forth. Events beyond her control led to further problems. She felt some of it had to do with the explosion in the Jeep. The explosion wasn't her fault. What happened to her after the explosion was something she couldn't control. It wasn't like it was something she did on her own or wanted to do. She did everything she could to fix herself as quickly as she could.

It bothered her greatly when John decided to terminate her anyway when she was trapped between the trucks. It was after she'd fixed herself and told him she loved him and he loved her. She wasn't sure if he would have done it if Sarah hadn't been there yelling at him to do it. The fact she'd just tortured Sarah a few minutes earlier, probably didn't do much to help anything either. It was one of the events which occurred before she could fix her programming.

"After I went 'bad', things were never quite the same." Cameron said. "Even when I tried to reach out to him, he sought comfort elsewhere. I think it's what hurt me the most."

Cameron thought of how she came to John in his bedroom and 'offered' herself to him. She wanted him to touch her so they could share with each other. She'd even changed her clothes to make herself more 'presentable' to him. She wasn't good enough. He ran off to be with Riley instead. It was another act of absolute irresponsibility. A lot of people died because he chose not to be with her. The deaths of all the policemen, south of the border, were John's fault. Even if Cromartie was the one who'd carried it out. John 'set the table' and everything else occurred afterwards.

Vanna caught the drift of Cameron's meaning.

"Do you mean he replaced you with another girl?" Vanna asked. "He did it right in front of you? He did it right in your face?"

Cameron could feel some 'tension' starting to build. It wasn't what she wanted to feel.

"Yes. It was a real girl made of flesh and blood. She was alive and living." Cameron said. "She wasn't a machine or a pile of junk. She wasn't scrap metal. She wasn't - Nobody."

Vanna could see how it would hurt. It hurt her just hearing it. She believed everything about Cameron was simply amazing.

"Cameron, you're not junk." Vanna said. "You're the most magnificent individual I've ever met. Everything about YOU is dynamic and unique."

Cameron looked at Vanna. There were tears in her eyes.

"I still feel like - Nobody." Cameron said. "I'll always be - Nobody."

Vanna thought about some of the things she'd heard in the past, the future.

"Allison told me she felt like 'Nobody' until she met me." Vanna said. "It was when she'd met me again, a second time. It was a little later on in life after the first time. It's all a very long and complicated story."

Vanna made a few more adjustments to the Mr. Ellison Terminator. She looked over his entire sheath. She smiled at one area, even though it wasn't her 'thing'.

"John Henry will find a few 'upgrades' on his new chassis." Vanna said.

Cameron looked at the Mr. Ellison Terminator. It appeared like any other male Terminator to her.

"What upgrades?" Cameron asked. "I don't see them."

Vanna knew Cameron didn't see John Henry naked.

"This one is complete and appears fully functional." Vanna said.

Vanna lifted the towel covering the groin area.

Cameron looked and raised one eyebrow in surprise.

"Impressive." Cameron said.

By her response, it made Vanna wonder what Cameron's sexual experience was. She was complete as a 'human female'.

"Cameron, have you…?" Vanna asked. "I mean…?"

Vanna was unsure what to say or how to say it. It was a very personal subject.

Cameron knew what Vanna was asking her. She wanted to make sure.

"Are you asking if I've ever been intimate?" Cameron asked.

Vanna blushed a little.

"Yes, I'm embarrassed to ask, but am curious to know." Vanna said.

Cameron answered quickly.

"No." Cameron said.

The answer was a little vague to Vanna.

"No, you don't want to say, or 'no' you haven't?" Vanna asked.

It was a touchy subject to Cameron. There were files from her system which had been erased. It bothered her greatly because of it. She could only say what she knew for sure, not what she speculated on.

"Both. The answer is 'no' to both." Cameron said. "Unless part of my life was erased before I was sent back, I have no files related to the subject. Many things were erased from my program before I was sent back."

Vanna understood it meant part of Cameron's life was erased. It could be good in some ways and bad in others. She wished there were parts of her life she could erase. She would like to have them out of her mind forever. No matter how far back she pushed them, they always came to the front. Sometimes it happened again in her dreams. She could at least wake up screaming in those instances. When it happened for real, it was real. She didn't want to lose focus on Cameron.

"I'm sorry." Vanna said.

Cameron still contained 'memories' from her 'Neural Interface' with Allison.

"I have memories of such events, but they're not my own." Cameron said.

It was an interesting prospect to Vanna. She wanted to know more.

"Do you have Allison's memories from your future?" Vanna asked.

Cameron remembered when she thought she was Allison. She didn't know she was a cyborg during that time. She thought she was a human female. She thought she was Allison Young.

"Yes, I have some anyway. Sometimes I thought the memories were my own." Cameron said. "I even called her mother once when I thought I was - Allison."

The idea intrigued Vanna.

"You spoke with Allison's mother?" Vanna asked.

Cameron looked a little uncomfortable now.

"Yes." Cameron said.

Even when she was confused, she actually was able to experience a good time. She had some fun. She was happy. The only reason why, was because she didn't remember 'what' she really was.

"I was confused." Cameron said. "John found me and said he would fix me. I said, 'Fix me? Why would you fix me?' I was actually happy for once. It didn't last long."

Cameron knew what happiness really was when she was 'Allison'.

Vanna wanted to know more.

"How much of you is 'Allison'?" Vanna asked.

Cameron wondered about it herself the more her 'feelings' developed and influenced her.

"I don't know." Cameron said. "After I went 'bad', it was more and more. My emotions and feelings expanded greatly after my accident and the 'Allison incident'."

Vanna could see Cameron loved John.

"Is that when you knew you loved John?" Vanna asked.

Cameron still contained some of those memories. Most of them were erased.

"No." Cameron said. "I loved John - Future John, before he sent me away. I loved John even more when I met his younger self. He reminded me of - me."

There was a nagging question in Vanna's mind. It was something important to her.

"What happened to your Allison?" Vanna asked.

Cameron looked at Vanna and then quickly looked away. A sense of guilt and remorse flooded her. She didn't want to get into details. She didn't want to admit what happened. It wasn't her fault. She was under the control of Skynet at the time. She knew it was only part of it though. She was the one who did it because Allison lied to her. Allison tried to set her up to be terminated. Now wasn't the time to be completely truthful.

"I don't know. The last time I saw her, she was - unconscious." Cameron lied. "I don't want to talk about her right now. Maybe we can talk about your Allison. I'd like to know a little more about her."

Vanna exhibited a far off look on her face. Her eyes were red and puffy. She was flooded with emotions. It was a little too painful to talk about right now.

"Maybe we can later." Vanna said as a single tear slid down her cheek.

Cameron reached over and gently wiped the tear away.

Vanna smiled at her.

Cameron went back to work on the Terminator. She finished and inspected their work a final time.

"There, John Henry's new physical interface is ready." Cameron said.

Vanna looked over everything again. She was satisfied as well.

"Let's get Mr. Murch in here and get the new and improved 'John Henry' hooked up in the computer room." Vanna said. "I hope John Henry likes his new chassis."

Several hours later, Mr. Ellison walked into the computer room and saw 'himself' sitting at the table. He was slightly stunned to be looking at himself.

John Henry looked over as Mr. Ellison entered the room.

"Hello, Mr. Ellison." John Henry said with a smile on his face.

It sounded like him too, Mr. Ellison thought. After a long pause he took a breath.

"Hello, John Henry." Mr. Ellison said.

He felt very uneasy.

Closing monologue by Cameron:

Nobody

From the very start
From when it began
To YOU my special one
Have I not been:

Trustworthy
Honest
Loyal
Faithful
Sincere
Honorable
Respectful
Dependable
Reliable
Helpful
Consistent
Accommodating
Cooperative
Stabilizing
Sharing
Open
True
Decent
Praiseworthy
Caring
Patient
ALWAYS There
Loving

Ask anyone if they know
A person such as this
Would they been seen with remiss
Would they cast them into an abyss

You would be told:
Like that, good luck finding somebody
Like that, you won't find anybody
Like that, there's - Nobody

Nobody