Chapter Thirty Six

'Mother passed away last night, in her sleep. The funeral is set for tomorrow. Illness has taken both of my parents now. Being an orphan…it's sad.'

'People keep expressing their condolences. All day at the funeral, that's all people would say to me. I really wish they would stop. They didn't know her, so why are they sad?

After the funeral, I got sick of hearing all of them saying the same rehearsed lines over and over. I ran off down a hallway.

Halt found me there. He…He…It was strange. He just held me close, let me cry.

He didn't offer his condolences once.'

'I'm officially a ward of the royal family and will remain that way until I marry Halt.

I keep waking up expecting to see my mother waltz into the room and demand I start my lessons right away.

Needless to say, she doesn't, and now the day feels empty. I don't even find joy in riding anymore.'

'I've been spending a lot of time with Halt lately, much more than usual at least. He shows up almost as soon as my lessons are done and then we stay together until dinner. We don't even talk half the time. I wonder if he is just trying to distract me?

Today I got to watch his sword fighting lessons...sparring…whatever. I watched him swing a weapon around.

He's good at it, he's been in training for years, but he looks so uncomfortable. It's like he doesn't want to use a sword.

When I brought it up, he was quiet for a long time, but as he walked me back to my room, he admitted that he had never liked the sword. He prefers the bow, says that there is something calming about shooting.

I like knowing little things about Halt like that.'

'Halt and I have been talking more and more lately. There is almost never a moment of silence between us anymore and I keep looking forward to when I get to see him next.

It's been almost two months since Mother died and I have spent almost every day with him.

He's never pushed me about moving past her death, or even Father's. He just sits there and listens while I ramble on and on about them. I really appreciate that, much more than I thought I would.

Although, I do admit that sometimes I feel guilty. It can seem like just yesterday that they died, but here I am smiling and laughing with Halt. Is it ok to be so happy so soon?'

'Halt kissed me today!

It was my first kiss ever and I still feel all tingly from it. It was the last thing I expected too.

The day was like any other, I did my lessons and met Halt for lunch. Afterwards, we went for a walk and spent some time with Caitlyn. I've heard rumors of her possibly getting engaged here soon. Apparently some noblemen have been showing interest as she has begun to blossom.

Anyway, there was nothing unusual about today, nothing at all.

But, after dinner, he walked me back to my room. I was babbling about something or other, I don't even remember what I was talking about.

He was just listening with that silly smirk on his face like always. When we got to my room, instead of saying goodbye, he leaned in and kissed me!

It was amazing! I swear, my heart had never pounded so quickly, the world spun around us, and I couldn't breathe. All I wanted to do was keep kissing him.

Is kissing always like this? Or is it just kissing Halt?

I wasn't supposed to actually care for him! But, I want to. Is that ok?'

The thing about living in a desert where it just kept getting hotter, was that you had to wake up incredibly early so that you could travel as much as possible before the heat became too much. For someone like Nel, who loved her sleep more than she did her herbs, that was torture.

Selethen made her do it anyway, smirking as she glared at him.

"Breakfast will be here any moment habibi and we have to leave right after that."

Nel grumbled, obviously in disagreement, but got up anyway. Cold air greeted her as soon as she pushed the blanket away, making her shiver.

"I need to check your stitches before we leave." she mumbled sleepily, trying and failing to stifle a yawn.

"After breakfast," he promised.

Breakfast arrived while she got changed into her simple travel clothes. They had already packed yesterday, so there wasn't anything to worry about there. It was a very simple affair, but the food helped to wake her up.

They ate quickly and Nel grabbed her medical bag after. The sooner they finished, the sooner they could start traveling.

In all honesty, Selethen's wound was healing very well, especially considering all the travel he'd had to do recently. She didn't expect any trouble on the way to Mararoc unless he really pushed it. Which, knowing him, was actually a distinct possibility.

Removing his bandages, she took a long look at the wound just under his ribs. It was almost as long as her forearm, but shallower than she expected and most of the skin had fused back together already. Hopefully they could remove his stitches by the end of the week, but there was still a chance that the injury could be torn back open if he pushed it too far.

"Well, am I going to live?" Selethen asked, looking at her cheekily.

Nel rolled her eyes, reaching for a salve, "Only if you stop getting stabbed."

"Now that I can't do. Getting stabbed is part of the job description."

"Guess you'll have to retire then."

"Wives are so demanding."

"And husbands so childish."

They exchanged a smile. Nel was very happy that they could be so free with each other now.

Part of her mind went back to the other day, to the storage room. Her heart still ached at the memory, but she understood it. They wouldn't ever get to the point where they were in love, but they were happy, and that was all that really mattered. They had more important things to focus on anyway.

He hadn't brought up the storage room either, so Nel felt it was safe to assume that they were simply going back to how they had been before. She could live with that. There was less confusion that way.

She finished with the salve barely a moment later, wrapping fresh bandages around him. He watched as she worked, raising his arm as directed. A few minutes later she was done. Nel tied it off, then watched in confusion as her finger lingered, then slowly traced the edge of the bandages across his chest. When it got to the center of his chest, it began moving upwards, but now it was her entire hand following the lines of his muscles. He was warm and softer than expected.

Selethen gave a sharp intake of breath, jarring her out of her stupor. What exactly had she just been doing?!

"S-Sorry, I shouldn't have-I don't know why I-"

His hand fell on top of hers, guiding it to rest above his heart. It was pounding as fast as hers was. Maybe faster. Meeting his gaze, her breath caught.

There was something in his eyes, something that seemed to mirror the feeling she had right now, the ache in her chest.

She couldn't tell who started it, but suddenly their lips were locked together in the most passionate kiss they'd shared yet. His lips moved roughly against hers, demanding more, pulling her into his lap and practically crushing her against his chest.

Nel seemed unable to control herself, feeling more than anything else as her legs straddled him, her knees hitting the back of the wooden dining chair, and her arms wrapping around his neck, pulling him closer so she could kiss him back just as fervently.

Nel felt like her skin was on fire everywhere they touched, especially as he began kissing her neck. His hands found their way under her shirt and slowly made their way up her back.

"Nel." his voice sounded strangled, murmuring her name into her neck.

"Hmmm?" was her response and that was a miracle in itself. It was very hard to focus on anything except the things he was currently doing to her neck.

He just captured her lips again, something she certainly wasn't going to protest.

There was a loud knock at the door and Nel desperately wanted to ignore it, but a moment later it came again.

Selethen groaned and pulled away, "Sometimes, I really hate being Wakir."

Nel didn't know how to respond, so she just avoided looking at him as she climbed off so he could put his shirt back on, and moved to answer the door.

Part of her was mortified at what they had just done. She felt like she had lost control of her body and just threw herself at him, like some sort of streetwoman. She couldn't even remember any instance she had ever even thought anything along those lines.

Another part of her wanted to continue and as terrifying as that was, it was also exciting. That was something she never thought would happen.

Nel opened the door, trying to get rid of those thoughts so she could focus, to find Aloom standing there.

"Nellie," he said, giving her the traditional Arridi greeting, "I came to tell you two that we're ready when you are."

"We were just about to head down." Selethen said, appearing behind her.

She tried not to react to his lie.

"Of course, we-Nellie, why is your neck all red?" he asked, looking at her curiously.

She blushed deeper than she ever had in her life. Behind her, Selethen cleared his throat uncomfortably, unable to look his friend in the eye.

Aloom groaned at the realization, "There's a proper time and place you know!"

"Was our home not it?" Selethen asked with fake innocence.

He suddenly looked like he wanted to throw up, "Forget I asked."

"We will."

The trip to Mararoc took about five days. They would wake up early, traveling by the stars, then rest during the hottest parts of the day, before continuing into the night. It was very different compared to how she had grown up traveling, but Nel was getting used to it.

She caught up on her sleep during the rest period in the middle of the day, normally waking up covered in sweat, but it was worth it to her. Every night was a brilliant sunset over the dunes of the sand and she spent every moment she could with the natural light sketching everything around her. They were rough sketches, mostly to get a feel for the scene in front of her, that she would then flesh out with details when they stopped for the night, drawing by the light of the fire.

Selethen laughed at her the first time she pulled out her sketchbook, balancing it on the horn of the saddle and scribbling away with her charcoal. To him it was the same, bare, boring landscape he'd grown up with. To her, it was all new and exciting. She was trying to document every moment of it.

Then Selethen had noticed that while Nel could balance and draw without an issue, in fact she was a wonderful rider, she wasn't that great at continuing to pay attention or directing her horse. She ended up lost in her sketches, simply trusting her horse to handle themselves.

The horse, a young mare named River, would often just keep walking, usually into a circle, even after the group had stopped for a break. Nel never even noticed when this happened, too lost in her drawings. Or the opposite, River would stop and try to graze on a bush and Nel had no clue that people were passing by her, happily drawing away.

After the third time that River began trying to trot in a circle, Selethen had had enough, grabbing the reins from Nellie and tying them to his own saddle horn.

That finally got her attention and they spent the next hour arguing over it. Selethen insisted that it didn't matter that Nellie had grown up on a Ranger horse that was trained to follow the road, stop when their companions stop, or go when they go, until she put her sketchbook away and guided her own horse properly, she wouldn't be allowed to have the reins back.

Nellie insisted otherwise, but gave up, sketching Selethen instead, drawing the scene: Selethen leading her horse around, looking very patronizing.

Aloom had loved it and asked for his own copy.

Selethen yelled at them both (much to their amusement) and still ended up leading Nel's horse for most of the trip, despite his grumbling.

After that, the rest of the trip was uneventful. They were lucky and didn't run into any sandstorms and the Tualaghi were quiet, if only to be silently angry, prisoners. Nel had spent a little time watching them during the trip and saw no lost love in the way they glared at the Arridi soldiers. Especially their leader, Yusal. Yusal was the human version of a vulture, with a large hooked nose and deadly piercing eyes that seemed to be permanently fixed on her husband in an attempt to glare him to death. Nel was incredibly happy that he was going to be handed off once they arrived. The look on his face was more than a little unnerving.

Selethen would spend at least an hour before dinner moving through the entire group, stopping at each fire to talk with all the soldiers, offering advice or encouragement. Aloom typically went with him, but sometimes chose to sit with Nel, chatting and joking. Overall, the five days went by a lot faster than they expected.

It was maybe an hour after their midday break that fifth day when they finally saw Mararoc, the silhouette of the Emrikir's palace rising above the rest of the city in the distance. Nel's eyes widened at the sheer size of the city. Castle Araluen and its village was the most populated place Nel had ever been, but Mararoc put it to shame. It was at least double the size with a massive harbor along the river that was absolutely filled with boats. As they entered the city and got closer, she saw that most of them looked Toscan.

"Enjoying yourself?"

Nel turned to find Aloom riding alongside her, watching as she looked around in amazement.

"I didn't think this place would be so big." she admitted, "I thought that Al Shabah was the main town for port and trading?"

"For the western countries it is. Iberion, Sonderland, Gallica, they're all closer to Al Shabah than Mararoc, so they don't travel all the way down the river," he explained, "but a lot of Toscan cities are closer to Mararoc, along with countries to the east, like Nihon-Ja or Aslava. Mararoc handles the trading with them almost exclusively. It's easier for them to travel a day or so down the river than a week in the ocean to Al Shabah; it tends to be safer too. Plus, there is a small peninsula a little farther past Mararoc, connecting us with the other countries. Most of our production is in the Mararoc province as well, making it incredibly busy."

"That makes sense. Production?"

"Mararoc has some of the best farmland in Arrida, being so close to the river." he elaborated. "And a lot of our mines are in this province as well, like the Red Hills. Al Shabah may handle a lot of trading, but Mararoc handles a lot more on every other aspect."

Nel hummed thoughtfully, "Thank you Aloom."

"You're welcome." he said with a smile, "Your Arridan is getting quite good by the way. Just need to work on your accent now."

She smiled back, "Selethen is a good teacher."

"I'm glad to see you two so happy together. To be honest, I was worried when we went to Araluen."

"You were?" she asked, glancing ahead at her husband. He was at the front of the group, leading them through the streets towards the palace, conferring with a city guard that had met them at the gate.

"Sel's really good at hiding how he really feels, especially if it's for duty. That, plus how last minute everything was," he shrugged, "I was just worried how things would turn out. Besides, he had never been seriously interested in marriage before."

"He wasn't?"

Aloom shook his head, "If he had wanted to be married, he would've been. He's the Wakir, wealthy, ward of the Emrikir, decorated soldier; he had no shortage of offers, but he turned them all down. Said he was too busy working. Not going to lie, but part of me wondered if he would even notice if he got married."

"He's noticed." she gave a light chuckle, "And he's a wonderful husband. He tries so hard to make me happy, sometimes too hard."

"What do you mean?"

"Well," she sighed, trying to find the best way to explain it, "He tries to give me what he thinks I want or to be the person he thinks I want him to be. It comes off very forced and I have to keep telling him not to do that, but it's also sweet? In a strange way? He's gotten a lot better, but every now and then, he still does it."

Aloom just laughed, "That sounds like him. He always tries to be what everyone else wants. They want a strong soldier, he'll be at the front lines. They want a frugal business man, he'll haggle until the next morning. No one can ever say he put himself first. At least you aren't afraid to call him out on it."

"At least he finally seems to be listening." she joked, "It doesn't seem like he's wearing some silly mask anymore."

"That's good. I'm glad it's all worked out, considering everything."

Nel made an agreeing sort of noise, then her brow furrowed in confusion at his words, "Considering what?"

"You know," he shrugged, looking a little uncomfortable, "Everything. The treaty and all that."

"You mean the rushed engagement? The impending war?" she pressed, looking at him suspiciously, "Or the fact that he had to marry someone from a country you were at war with for 16 years."

He stammered over his response, looking incredibly self-conscious.

"What aren't you telling me Aloom?"

"Did…Did you not know?" he asked, voice dropping to a very low whisper.

"Know what?"

He looked around. Luckily no one seemed to be listening in on them. A small benefit of the constant space she was given by the Arridi.

"You…were supposed to be the princess." he admitted quietly, "Everyone knew the treaty would be sealed in a marriage, so we all thought that it would be Cassandra. No one expected Duncan to pick you. We didn't-"

"Even know I existed." Nel interrupted quietly, speaking more to herself than anything, "Selethen was supposed to marry the princess."

"I'm sorry."

"It's fine, it's not your fault." she said, forcing herself to sit up straight again so she didn't look bothered by the news, "Honestly, it should've been. Everyone in Araluen thought it would be. Duncan didn't consult anyone when he chose me for the treaty."

Nel knew it was all true, but the words still hurt. The idea that had Duncan chosen differently, Cassandra would have married Selethen pained her. She didn't want to imagine a life where the Wakir and princess found happiness together, where Cassandra woke up in his arms, or he taught her Arridan in the mornings. Her heart clenched painfully.

"Really? No one?" Aloom asked and she just shook her head, "I had heard that he made the decision without consulting his advisors, but I had hoped it was a rumor. That's horrible. I expected more from him."

"So did everyone else." Nel told him, resigned, "And trust me, he got a lot of backlash for it. Before you and Selethen arrived, Duncan didn't go a single day without hearing about how stupid he was or about his hypocrisy."

"Let me guess, mostly your family?"

Nel laughed, "Well, they are some of his most trusted advisors. They simply advised him to never do something like that again."

He joined her laughter as they entered the courtyard of the palace. It was just as magnificent up close, her fingers already itching to draw it all. Bright colors and designs adorned the walls and the columns seemed to be more intricately carved than the ones in Al Shabah with flowing Arridan script and pictures. Part of her wanted to stop there and start learning all about Mararoc's history.

When they finally went inside, leaving the palace's servants to handle their belongings and horses, they were led to the throne room. Nel looked around in excitement the whole time, trying to study all of it. She was especially drawn to the bright mosaic pattern along the floor, to the point that Selethen had grabbed her arm, gently guiding her along the way as she kept getting distracted, chuckling to himself.

There was one thing that surprised her the most though when they walked into the throne room. It wasn't the high stone ceiling that was also covered in a detailed mosaic or the Emrikir smiling on the extravagant throne.

It was her dad, standing right next to Atanyan with the biggest smile she'd ever seen.

Professor: More of a filler chapter for the traveling (I'm not good at writing traveling scenes) but hopefully the ship moment made up for it?

Anyway,
Random Arasel Tidbit:

Nellie is absolutely fascinated by dinosaurs and dragons. Not really the mythology side of it. I mean, she does like that too, but she more enjoys the science and biology side of it? Like, how did their muscles work, what kind of organs did they have, how did the dragons breathe fire without burning themselves alive? She has a lot of theories.

Selethen isn't really fascinated by anything. He's really interested in a lot of stuff, but would never describe himself as fascinated by it. Other people would, just not him. That being said, he also doesn't have a favorite animal, although that is because he had yet to find an animal that he didn't like or find interesting.