Chapter Forty One
'Well, it's official. My husband is an oblivious idiot. I tried four different times today to tell him about the baby and he still didn't figure it out. Pritchard figured it out two days ago and tried to help me tell him, still nothing. We both flat out told him I was pregnant. He didn't hear us. I spent an hour puking this morning, he thought I had food poisoning. I even went to town, bought a shirt for the baby, and he thought I measured wrong for some sort of sewing project. "I didn't know you liked to sew." The man is infuriating!
I have done everything short of write 'I'M PREGNANT!' on a giant sign and hang it above the table! Honestly, what am I supposed to do with this man?!
Oh my…I'm going to have to get a banner.'
'I could kill him. I could honestly kill him.
He knew. He knew! The bastard knew the entire time!
My child doesn't need a father. I can live as a widow. No ruler or jury anywhere would ever convict me. Pritchard can find another apprentice. He'll help me hide the body, I'm sure of it. Halt is a dead man.
Instead of the banner, I decided to simply take his precious coffee beans hostage to get his attention. Then I would calmly explain that we were going to be parents in seven or eight months.
He saw the coffee was missing, saw my angry face, and Pritchard trying not to laugh, and just said, "If you are going to yell at me over the baby, can't it wait until after I've had coffee and I'm awake enough to hear it?"
The bastard! The absolute bastard! He let me flail around trying to tell him for an entire week when he already knew!
My child doesn't need a father or need to know that their mother is a murderer. Nope, not at all.'
'Ok, I feel much less murderous now. It's amazing what a nice long walk can do for your mental state.
And if that walk included screaming at the sky and throwing rocks into the nearby lake, that is no one's business.
I do have to admit though, the thing that calmed me down the most was coming home to find an apologetic Halt with a bouquet of wildflowers for me. It was just so sweet. I started crying. Stupid pregnancy mood swings. I didn't know they would start so soon.
He and I spent a long time talking. He figured out about the baby by seeing how I was acting. He notices far more than I ever gave him credit for.
Halt is terrified of being a father. He didn't want to acknowledge I was pregnant because that would make it real. He's spent less time around children than I have. He's so scared of messing up, of hurting the baby, of not being the father they deserve. He thinks that since he couldn't take care of me in Clonmel, or since we left and have had to rely so much on Pritchard, that there is no way he can take care of a child.
As wrong as he is, I don't think I've ever loved him more. He doesn't know it yet, but he is going to be the greatest father in the entire world.'
"I owe you an apology." Nel whispered, hugging him from behind as she got to the table he sat at.
"For what?"
"I found books and forgot you existed." she explained sheepishly, not bothering to try and hide her blush, "After you planned a whole day for us too."
Selethen laughed, "You forgot I existed? Well, that sounds promising for our marriage."
Nel gave him a quick peck, "I'll make it up to you, I promise."
"How? Forgetting anyone else exists for a day?"
"If that's what you want." she giggled.
"What I would like," he said, standing up and turning to hug her back, "is an evening out with my wife."
"W-We're going out?"
"In a way. I made dinner plans while you were reading your life away."
"Do I get to know these plans?" she asked.
"Of course not, it would ruin the surprise." he smirked down at her.
"You've been surprising me a lot lately."
"Is that so bad?" he asked with a shrug, "Most husbands tend to enjoy spoiling their wives."
"I never said it was bad." Nel smiled, "But now I do feel like I owe you a surprise or two."
"Trust me, you've surprised me."
"How so? And what's that?" Nel asked, catching sight of a wrapped package on the table for the first time.
"That was a spur of the moment thing." Selethen said, picking it up and handing it to her, "I was on my way back with Aloom after watching a race and saw someone selling it. Go ahead."
He leaned back against the table, arms folded as she unwrapped the gift, "As for surprising me, may I remind you of when we met?"
"You mean when I showed up looking like I had been attacked by wild dogs, completely embarrassing all of Araluen?" she muttered, tugging at a knot in the string.
He chuckled, "I prefer it as when you humbled me."
"Humbled?"
"Atanyan's letter didn't tell me much about you. Your name, a bit about your family, that you were quiet, and worked at the hospital. So, naturally, I assumed you were some stuck up, spoiled little rich girl who occasionally volunteered to make bandages, mainly because her family forced her to." he explained, ignoring her playful glare, "I wasn't expecting to meet one of the best doctors in Araluen, looking as if she ran that hospital and would rather be anywhere other than meeting me."
"I-I-I wouldn't say that. Marion ran it, I really was on as just a staff member, and I'm still learning about med-"
"That still proves my point. You more than surprised me that day and most days since."
"Since?"
"Of course. After all, now I know that the quietest people can yell the loudest." he joked.
Nel's jaw dropped, pretending to be insulted. Selethen just kept smiling. She rolled her eyes, turning back to the package and finally pulling the string off. Opening it, she gasped, eyes widening as she looked at the dozen containers and brushes.
Selethen cleared his throat nervously, "With how much you sketch, I thought you might like to try painting."
"I-I've never painted before." she whispered.
"I'm sure it won't be long before you've mastered it." he said, chewing on the inside of his cheek a little as he watched her.
Nel's eyes met his, a smile stretching across her face. "I love it."
His shoulders slumped with relief.
"Thank you." She blushed and put her new paint kit down gently, but couldn't stop smiling, "So, w-what else did you do today?"
"While you were reading your heart out?"
Said heart jumped to her throat when he smiled at her and she could only nod, not trusting her voice. He looked out the window before responding, "We can talk about all that over dinner. We need to get going or we'll be late."
"Late for what?" she asked, taking his offered hand and trying not to blush even more as their fingers intertwined and he led her out of the room.
"You'll see."
Selethen led her down hallways, up stairs, and took so many twists and turns that Nel had no hope of ever keeping track of where they were going. Finally, after what must've been the longest staircase yet, he opened a door to a rather empty room, a ladder in the corner being the closest thing to furniture.
"Almost there, I promise." he said, heading straight to the ladder.
"Where are we going?" she asked, climbing after him.
"You'll see." he repeated, smirking down at her before unlatching the trap door above him and pushing it open.
Climbing through it, Nel was immediately greeted by sunlight, sparkling off the river and almost blinding her.
"The…roof?" she turned to him, confused, but stopped short at the sight there.
Most roofs in Arrida were completely flat and the palace, grand as it was, was no exception. A fact that Selethen had clearly exploited.
There were blankets and pillows laid out in a very comfortable looking way, with the boxes of food that Selethen had purchased in the market with her nearby. To top it off, a pot of still steaming coffee sat on the ground next to it.
"I already told you I can't cook, so the festival food is the best I can do, but I did make the kafay." he explained as she took it all in, "I hope you don't mind not joining all the main events tonight. Yasmine invited us to go watch the parade with them, but I thought this might be more comfortable. I also know that you don't really enjoy crowds and-"
"This…this is wonderful." Nel said in amazement, once again struck by exactly how attentive and passionate he was being lately.
"It gets better," he said, gently turning her back around. Nel watched as the sun began to set, sending a massive array of colors into the sky and sparkling across the river. The horizon in the distance, made of sand dunes, seemed to glow and blend in with the rays of sun as it sank behind them. It was absolutely breathtaking and the artist inside her wanted to cry at the sight.
"I remember you saying how much you love sunsets. The ones up here are the best I've ever seen."
"It's beautiful." she whispered.
He hugged her, smiling into her hair as she kept watching, unable to tear her eyes away, and relaxed back into his chest. Music floated up to them from the streets as the parade came to a close and the night time celebrations started.
"Why?"
"Hmm?"
"Why did you do all this?"she wondered, "The morning out, the university, the paints, now this? Why?"
"I wanted to." he said simply.
"That's it?" she asked, unconvinced.
He sighed, "Nellie…when I was in Araluen I promised your dad that your happiness would be one of my first priorities. I also overheard your brother talking about how he wanted you to be happy, but you weren't being given a choice in anything."
Nel shook her head, wrenching herself away from the sunset to look at him properly, "So all this was-"
"Just wait, let me finish." he cut her off, "I wasn't saying all of that to explain why I did this. I just wanted to point out that your family wants you to be happy, but you don't think twice about that. It is possible that someone just wants you to be happy. I promise, I have no ulterior motive, it's not any different than your family trying to make you happy. I just like seeing you happy. And knowing that you're happy because of me? Because of something I did? That's an added bonus."
"But that's just it. I haven't done anything to deserve this." she said.
"Haven't you though? You traded away your entire future in Araluen to marry a complete stranger just on the vague hope of stopping a war. You moved to a country you had been at war with for most of your life and where people assume you are an assassin sent to kill me any day now. I think that justifies you getting some happiness out of the deal." he quickly countered.
"I wish you wouldn't talk about it that way." she muttered, "It's bad enough that everyone else does, but when you do it…it just hurts."
Selethen's brow furrowed, "What do you mean?"
"N-Nothing, I'm just babbling-" Nel tried to backtrack, but her husband was having none of it, cutting her off again.
"No, tell me what you meant. Talk about what like that?"
"O-Our marriage." she admitted in a shameful whisper.
"What?" he looked at her, completely lost.
Nel groaned, gesturing to the blankets for them to sit. When they were situated, she took a deep, steadying breath, rubbing her palm as she began to tell him.
"I hate hearing about how much of a saint I am for marrying you, about how much I gave up in Araluen. The truth is, I don't think I sacrificed anything."
"I'm…confused." Selethen said, watching her intently.
Nel just shrugged, "It's true though. I had no plan for my future, not really. I was going to go back to Redmont after the negotiations, maybe work as a healer for Arald, live with my dad after he got back from Toscana. All I gave up was a very mundane life, doing the same thing every single day. I shouldn't be seen as a hero for that."
"But your family-"
"Travels all the time as Rangers and I spent the last three years in the Grimsdell with Malcolm where I barely saw them anyway. My choices were to marry you and help my country or continue my way into the role of an old spinster nurse."
Selethen let out a long breath, "But, in Araluen, you didn't want to marry me."
Nel immediately shook her head, "I didn't want to be forced into a marriage. Duncan didn't tell anyone about it until after they signed the treaty and there was nothing we could do. He didn't ask anyone, just walked in and told me I was going to be married in two months time. I've never had any issue marrying you, just with how we got engaged."
There was a long moment of silence before he leaned in, whispering a soft, "I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault." she said, quick to assure him, "But please, stop acting as if I did something heroic. I didn't, not really. I just…accepted a better life than I already had."
He scoffed, "You really think that you have a better life here in Arrida? With everything going on?"
Nel smiled up at him, "Well, let's see. I've been given a chance to train with a doctor who studied at the best university of medicine in the world, made a few invaluable friendships, am absolutely stuffed every day with some of the best food I've ever had, and have the most wonderful and caring husband in the world who is apparently always concerned for my happiness and safety." her smile turned into a smirk, "I'd say my life is pretty great."
"I'm glad," he said, giving her a smile and quick kiss before reaching for some of the food, "Now, how about a lighter topic?"
"Such as?"
"Such as tomorrow. I stole you for most of today-"
"Technically the library did."
"But I highly doubt your father is going to let that happen tomorrow." he finished as if she hadn't said anything.
"That is true." she giggled, pouring the coffee.
"I didn't catch how long he was going to be here before going back to Toscana."
"He didn't say, but I think it is longer than planned now that we have a chance to visit."
"It can't be too long. The winter winds are set to arrive any day. It's dangerous to sail through them. Even the pirates don't risk it." he pointed out.
"They're risking it for the refugees."
"True." he conceded, "The next set of refugees will be coming straight to Al Shabah."
"Not to sound horrible, but are refugees really a lighter topic?" Nel grimaced.
Selethen laughed, "Not really. I guess we've talked about the war so much it's almost become a habit."
"One I hope we'll break some day."
"Me too." he sighed, "What would you rather talk about?"
"How about them?" Nel asked, pointing at the stars that had started to appear above them, "You said your mom taught you all about them?"
"She did." Selethen smiled, reclining back against the pillows. Nel joined him, curling up into his side and resting her head on his shoulder as he began to point out specific constellations.
"That's Tanin, the dragon. See how the stars at the end form his tail? Anyway, he's the oldest constellation, guards over the others. Especially Alju and Juza, the twins, right over there. They run around the sky causing trouble. Legend says that Tanin found them past the horizon and fell in love with them, bringing them to this world. Of all his children, those two are the most well known…"
Professor: Ok, so technically when I looked up the names for the constellations, I got 'Tanin' for 'dragon' and 'Aljuza' for 'twins', which I then split into two words of 'Alju' and 'Juza'. However, now Google Translate is saying that those are not the translations for those words.
...Gotta love Google Translate.
Anyway, that was where that came from. Sorry if it doesn't make sense now, but I still like the names so that is what I'm using here.
And just a heads up, but starting next chapter we are going to start delving into some of the big plot points. Next chapter is kind of the introduction to it, then it is a steep slide into the main plot points and development. I will still try to toss in some fluff and ship moments, but it definitely won't be like the last couple chapters where Selethen spends the entire time spoiling Nel. So, as per the extra warnings I promised to include, please re-read the tags/warnings, proceed with caution on future chapters (I will still include warnings at the beginning of the chapters), and be prepared to hate me. I hope you enjoy the story, but I also don't want to take anyone off guard with anything possibly triggering from here on out. I promise, eventual happy ending though. Everyone just really ends up working for it.
To end on a semi-good note though...
Random Arasel Tidbit:
Nellie hates puns with a burning passion.
Selethen loves them.
You can tell how well that works out for them.