CHAPTER 2

I laid awake for a long time that night, staring at the wall with Lydia curled up against my chest and her head tucked under my chin. I couldn't stop thinking about everything that happened earlier that day during the last session with Reverend Jim. Having to willingly bring my mate to another Alpha had been the hardest thing I'd ever had to do in my life and I had only made it a few feet from the corner before I freaked out and ended up growling at her. I squeezed her a little tighter to my chest as the guilt washed over me. Until that moment, I had never acted with any aggression toward her and it scared me to think that I might do it again, but next time it, might not be just an angry snarl that I launch in her direction. Could I, in good conscience put her in anymore danger?

"Alpha? Are... are you alright?", I looked down and saw Lydia's big, dark eyes staring up at me in the darkness. My eyesight had become so keen that I could see her clear as day even in near pitch blackness.

"Lydia, I'm sorry I woke you", I whispered. "Go back to sleep." She ignored my apology and just continued to stare at me. I could see her worried eyes searching mine for the cause of my distress, the distress that she could smell coming off of me.

"You're afraid." It wasn't a question, just a simple stated fact. I hated that I couldn't hide my feelings from her no matter how hard I tried. I looked away, avoiding the look of sympathy I could see in her gaze. Sympathy that I didn't deserve.

"I... I growled at you, Lydia", I croaked as I continued to stare into the darkness over Lydia's head. "I could have killed you." I heard her let out a tired sigh and felt two small hands grab me by the face. They pulled me down until I was forced to meet her eyes again.

"I trust you, Dean", she whispered, pulling my face in further for a gentle kiss. "I know you'd never hurt me." I wish I had as much faith in me as she did. I doubted myself... my decisions... my motivations... EVERYTHING. Every second of every day, it was getting harder and harder for me to trust myself around everyone. Just last week I had nearly taken my own brother's head off when he laughed at something Lydia said and my Alpha-hormone soaked brain imagined that it saw lust in Sam's eyes. Since then, I had refused to see him. Not because I thought he was trying to steal my mate(I knew he wasn't). But because I didn't want to see the fear and accusation in his eyes.

"But I don't trust me!", I whispered back. "I keep hurting everyone around me! Everyone I care about!"

"That's not true, Dean!", Lydia protested. "Nobody blames..."

"Yes, they do!", I said, my voice beginning to rise in volume as I got more agitated. "You don't see the looks I get from everyone! Like they're standing next to a ticking time bomb and they're just waiting for me to go off! I can't take it anymore! I can't..." Lydia leaned in quickly and pressed her lips hard against mine before I could finish my rant. She shoved me onto my back and crawled on top of me before I could even think about pulling away(which, I'll admit, was the last thing on my mind). When she finally pulled back, she was panting hard and there was this strange, almost feral look on her face that I had never seen before.

"Lydia...wha...?" She put a finger up to her lips and shushed me, that wild expression never leaving her face.

"Stop thinking and just let me take care of YOU for once, ok? Alpha?" All I could do was nod my head, I was too shocked to process words. Lydia had never acted so dominant with me before. She had always been the submissive little Omega when it came to sex and this new side of her was all kinds of hot. She grabbed my wrists, pulled them over my head, and pressed them into the mattress. "Keep them there", she said in a low growl. That rumbling noise from deep inside her went straight to my dick, which was hardening fast. "If you move, I'll have to punish you, understand?" I nodded frantically, keeping my eyes glued to hers. She frowned disappointingly at my response. "I need to hear you say it." Her tone had become aggressive and my breathing hitched in arousal.

"I... I understand." Lydia nodded and let go of my wrists. Lydia leaned into my neck, sticking her face up against the skin just below my ear. She pulled in a deep lungful of air through her noes, and when she let it out, the sensation of the hot air against my skin was so intense that my back arched off the bed involuntarily and I gasped.

"What did I say about not moving?", Lydia growled, grabbing my chin. "Do I need to spank you?" 'OH, GOD! YES! PLEASE SPANK ME!', I thought wildly. By now my dick was so incredibly hard that it almost hurt, straining against the fabric of my boxer-briefs.

"N-no, I'm sorry", I whispered instead. I was riding the ragged edge as it was and I don't think Dean Jr. could hold out through a spanking. I'd end up jizzing in my pants like a sexually frustrated teenager! "I'll be good." Lydia smiled playfully and ran her fingers over my bare chest and down my belly. The touching, the scent of her arousal, and the heat of her body so close to mine were intoxicating and I was suddenly dizzy with all of the sensations bombarding me at once. "Fuck...", I groaned when her nails scrapped lightly over my abs. When she grabbed the waistband of my boxers and jerked them down to my knees, I sucked in a surprised breath but forgot to let it out.

"Breathe Alpha", Lydia giggled, smiling up at me. When the air escaped my lungs like a slowly leaking balloon, my head began to swim and it flopped back down onto the pillow. The room was starting to tilt alarmingly, but I couldn't bring myself to care. Lydia had wrapped a warm little hand around the base of my dick and was squeezing my growing knot gently. I couldn't help but buck my hips a little at the pleasurable pressure. We hadn't been intimate since my knot had popped suddenly a few days ago and I hadn't wanted to even touch it out of fear. But she seemed to not be afraid of it at all and handled it like she knew what she was doing. She moved her hand up my shaft to the tip and rubbed her thumb over the slit before sliding back down to give the knot a good squeeze.

"Fuck! If you keep that up, I'm gonna... AHHHH!" Before I had time to finish my warning, Lydia had taken my length into her mouth and swallowed it all the way down to her hand that was squeezing my knot firmly. Before she could even lift her head, I came hard down her throat. I don't think I have ever had an orgasm that strong in my whole life and my vision went white for a split second as it hit me. It seemed that the knot just made everything more sensitive. It was something I was gonna have to get used to, I guess.

When I was able to raise up on my elbows to look at her, Lydia still had her head down and my dick in her mouth as far as it would go. My knot had swollen to the size of a grapefruit and it freaked me out just a little bit. It had swelled so much that Lydia had to now use both hands to keep up the pressure. She peeked up at me through her lashes, smiled around my still hard length, and gave the knot another firm squeeze, sending another spasm through my body and another hot spurt of cum down her throat. I flopped back down on the bed on my back with a loud groan, unable to hold myself up. She did this several more times until I nearly passed out from over-sensitivity. Just when I thought I couldn't take anymore, I felt the knot start to deflate. I vaguely remember thinking 'this must be what a beach ball feels like when you let the air out slowly'. Lydia let go of my knot and pulled herself up off my limp cock, licking her lips clean of any stray drops. All I could do was lay there staring at the ceiling as I panted with exhaustion.

"Wow...", I croaked when I could finally speak. "I just... wow..."

"Feel better?", Lydia asked with a smirk, crawling slowly up my body.

"You have no idea", I panted. "Where... how did you learn how to do that?" She froze, a look of discomfort darkening what had been a happy smile. "What? What is it?" She sat up and crawled out of my lap to sit cross-legged beside me. "I'm sorry! Did I do something...?"

"NO!", she blurted out, cutting me off. "You didn't do anything wrong, Alpha. It's just... I... I..." She began to fidget and pick at her fingernails, trying not to look me in the eyes. I sat up and put a finger under her chin, raising her head so she had to look at me.

"Please tell me what's wrong", I whispered. "Please?" There I was begging again. Oh well.

"My... my mother taught me." I just stared at her in shock with my mouth hanging open.

"You... your MOTHER taught you that?", I asked when I could speak again. She just nodded, looking away again. "Please. I just wanna understand. Is that a... normal thing?"

"Yeah... kinda." She was still uncomfortable talking about it, but I could tell she was trying... for me. "I'm an Omega, Dean. We are pretty rare."

"Yeah, I know. Kate explained it to me." I tried to be patient with her and stay calm, but my curiosity was hard to keep restrained. "Omegas aren't made, they're born, right?"

"Yes, but even then, Omegas aren't very common. When one is born, it is celebrated by the whole pack. Do you know why?"

"Uhh... because Alphas want them for mates?", I said tentatively.

"Exactly." She gave me a sad smile and looked at her hands in her lap again.

"I'm not sure I follow", I said in confusion. What was she getting at?

"There is only one Alpha in a pack, Dean. And my father was the Alpha of our pack." The more she spoke, the more confused I got.

"Can you please get to the point, Lydia?", I snapped a little too harshly. "This beating around the bush is giving me a migraine."

"My point is, Dean, that I've known since I was old enough to understand, that I would be given to the Alpha of another pack. My father was hoping it would get us aligned to a pack strong enough to help us fight Lucius and his pack, but... there wasn't enough time." My heart broke for her that for her whole life, her only purpose was to be mated to the Alpha of another pack that could help them fight their enemies. To be used as a bargaining chip. The more I thought about it, the madder I got.

"So your mother taught you this stuff to what?! Please a man you've never met and would probably never love?!", I snarled angrily. Lydia bit her bottom lip and nodded again as tears welled up in her eyes. "Fuck!", I growled under my breath, my hands balling into fists.

"But I did it with you because I love you and wanted to make you happy! Not cuz I had to!", she said with a quiet sob. I realized that she thought I was mad at her and that couldn't be farther from the truth.

"No, baby!", I insisted, hugging her close and rocking her gently. "I'm not angry with you! I swear, I'm not!" I pulled away slightly and wiped her tears away with my thumb.

"You... you're not mad at me, Alpha? For doing that with you and... and keeping secrets?" I could understand why she didn't tell me. It was obvious, even to her, what my reaction would be. I would be livid! And I was! But not for the reason that she thinks.

"I'm not mad at you, Sweetheart. I'm mad that your pack was going to use you! That they made you believe that THAT was all you were good for!" I hugged her tight again and pulled her down on the bed again. Just as before, I was staring at the wall with my mate curled against my chest and her head tucked under my chin. But this time, I was kept awake by a whole new set of worries. I was so busy worrying about my own issues that I completely ignored my mate's. I lay there thinking for a long time before I finally got up the nerve to speak again. "So she taught you how to take control like that, huh?" She let out a soft laugh before she wiped her runny nose on the back of her hand.

"Yes", she whispered. "She taught me that some Alphas get turned on when their Omegas act a little dominant now and then. I was hoping you would like it too." I chuckled and hugged her a little tighter.

"Damn straight I did."