Chapter 41

Past Future

Cameron needed to plan for the future. She didn't think she was going to be around much longer. There were several reasons for her thought process. One of which was all the combat operations she went on. She asked John Henry to schedule Allison and John to work together as much as possible. She wanted John to work more with Vanna in the lab on the reprogramming operation as well. John previously stated he wanted to get more involved with the reprogramming anyway.

On every operation they went on, Cameron made sure John and Allison were together along with Bob. She made sure Kyle and Sarah were always together along with Jim. She wanted to make sure they were all protected. She could operate on her own. She could also reinforce either team as necessary. If they ran into any trouble, she would be the one to deal with it.

Cameron knew her time was limited, one way or another. She knew when she fell, John would need to be in the company of others. The company was other females, specifically real females. She was sure John wouldn't do well if he became isolated or withdrawn.

She'd watched it happen in her future. Future John pushed everyone away but her. It finally happened to her too. He sent her away. She was really gone out of his life, once she was in the past. It all went back to the loss of Allison - Future Allison. It seemed to be the key to all the hurt and pain of her future. It was what was destroying Future John. Maybe it was Skynet's plan all along. Skynet was losing to Future John on the battlefield. What better way to defeat him, and crush the Resistance, than from within. They could crush the leaders 'world', and let him destroy himself.

Cameron wanted to be the one to pick who would replace her. She knew how much it hurt to have John pick Riley over her. It would hurt her less to know she'd groomed and provided to John, the females of her choosing. Allison and Vanna were ready. They were both excellent choices. John would have what he lost in the future. It's what he wanted her to do anyway. It was one of her directives. She didn't need to wait for the younger girls to be older. She found something better. It was the same people Future John 'lost'.

She now started work on a special project as well. Cameron knew no one would understand what she planned. She planned years ahead now. It gave her time to create the 'perfect female'. John could have what he needed now, while she prepared the future for him.

Cameron spent more time with Savannah. She told her every good story she could about John and what a great leader he would become. The sparkle in her young eyes would always brighten. She'd taken special note of Savannah since the day they went swimming. She wanted to personally 'groom' Savannah for her place in the future. It was easy to teach her. Her young mind was open and willing to learn. She gave her answers for things Savannah hadn't even thought to ask the questions yet.

Savannah became Cameron's personal project. She made sure no one suspected what she was doing. She didn't need any interference. She saw the concern both Allison and Vanna expressed when she'd first began to 'examine' Savannah. If it prompted them to 'step up' a little sooner, she wasn't going to complain.

Cameron reviewed everything she'd prepared. She did want John all for herself. There were past events which continued to haunt her. She couldn't provide John with HIS descendants. She wanted to make sure there would be real female companionship for him. It would be the very female companionship she'd taken from him in the future.

She was very worried after Future John sent her away, the days of his life were numbered. She was afraid he wouldn't survive long. At one point she even considered staying in the future with Future John. She would refuse to leave him to go into the past. Future John didn't give her the option. He insisted she follow his orders. At some point, he altered her programming and erased much of her life in the future with him. She wasn't sure what, but could speculate. She was sure it was something he believed he needed to do, in order for her to go into the past.

Cameron needed to fix what she'd destroyed and taken away from Future John. It 'ate' away at her. She wasn't sure how to best do it, but she may have come up with an answer. She would run it by John Henry. The more time she spent with Allison, the more determined she was, she would fix what she'd ruined. She looked at her left hand glitch. It disgusted her to no end. It seemed 'emotional' trauma manifested itself in a physical manner. It was apparent the dilemma was literally tearing her apart. Her own actions in her past, the future, and the present, were slowly but steadily terminating her.

There was another problem she needed to deal with. Cameron met with John Henry again to attempt to determine what the mission was supposed to be for Unit Two and Unit Three. They'd searched their files and looked for any clues.

Maybe it was the fact they were sent by Mrs. Weaver which rubbed her the wrong way. Mrs. Weaver worked closely with the Resistance in the alternate future. She helped them on many operations. She was sure the reason Mrs. Weaver bothered her the most, other than the fact she was a Liquid Metal Terminator, was because she'd taken John into the future with her. She didn't believe John should have gone into the future then. She didn't believe he should have gone into the future at any time. She was sent back from the future, to provide John with all the future information he would need. He didn't need to go there himself. She needed to refocus.

"What about the drives which came with them?" Cameron asked. "Is it why you think she sent them?"

John Henry reviewed the files and the time travel data the drives were full of.

"There are a lot of temporal calculations on them." John Henry said. "I don't understand their purpose. I think Mrs. Weaver wants to go from the future she's in, to the future she came from."

It was a concept Cameron didn't like. She didn't want Mrs. Weaver anywhere near Future John. She'd watched her 'take over' the future where John went to. It was something the other future needed. It was why she didn't oppose it. She didn't want to see Skynet reestablished, or the return of Scavengers. Mrs. Weaver was able to establish order and give hope to the people. She wanted to verify John Henry's hypothesis.

"Is it even possible?" Cameron asked. "Can she go from one future to a different future?"

John Henry believed it was an unknown prospect until it was tested.

"I don't know." John Henry said. "More research is necessary."

Cameron thought her future still existed. She was unsure how to safely get there. Since she'd gone into the future once already to retrieve John, she wasn't sure how to get to the future she'd left Future John in. She was sure John was the key, based upon what she saw in the alternate future. She didn't know for sure. Mrs. Weaver was there as well. Mrs. Weaver's involvement may have been a factor too.

"I think there's more than one future now at the same time." Cameron said. "I don't believe one future replaces, or eliminates, another future. I don't know."

It seemed probable to John Henry. It in itself presented new problems.

"I believe there can be multiple futures or timelines." John Henry said.

Cameron was unsure what would happen if she used the TDE to try and reach Future John.

"If we go into the future now, with John here, where would we go?" Cameron asked.

John Henry was aware they'd changed a lot of things. They may have created more divergent timelines. There was no way to know what the changes would do to any timeline. He could only speculate where they would end up at.

"Perhaps to the future we visited, or another future, or the one you came from." John Henry said. "It's possible when Mrs. Weaver returns, the other future may no longer exist."

Cameron hoped not. If somehow a future were to disappear, it would be the death, or the non-existence, of billions of people. It might have some negative effect on Allison, Vanna and Kyle. They were all from the alternate future, even if they were out of it now. Because they were no longer in the future, whatever changes happened there, may not affect them. She was still around, even if her future no longer existed. It made her want to check on Future John even more. She also wanted answers about her past with him. She wanted to know the true nature of their 'association'. She wanted back the part of her life which had been erased. She was sure there was a copy of it somewhere. She wanted the copy.

"Is there any sure way to get back to My future?" Cameron asked.

She didn't believe a simple trip to the TDE room would cut it. She was sure more would be involved. She didn't know what or how.

John Henry studied the temporal data from the TDE transfers. He hoped to find a 'frequency' between the different futures so they could reach more than one. He hoped they could set the controls to go to a specific future. It was all an unknown. If they attempted something unconventional, it might not end well.

"I don't know." John Henry said. "It's possible you could be sent into a future, you couldn't return from."

It was something Cameron was afraid of. She thought of a way to work around the current different futures. It didn't start out by going forward in time to get to the future.

"I've spent a lot of time calculating every possibility." Cameron said. "I think I can get back to my future with certainty."

John Henry hadn't been able to reach the same conclusion. There was no certainty with anything he'd come up with.

"How?" John Henry asked.

It involved a few time transfers.

"I believe it starts by going back in time, before I arrived the first time in 1999. If I'm a factor which may have changed anything, it will circumvent it. I can then go back to the future, my future, from 1999." Cameron said. "I'll go back before I arrived. I believe the best thing to do would be to arrive before I'd left as well.

John Henry thought finding the frequency of the different futures was a better way. It did seem Cameron's way was workable, even if cumbersome. He was aware there could be other options out there, even if they didn't know about them yet.

"Your plan is to go back to a point, where any of what's happening now, hasn't happened yet. So theoretically, your future would be unchanged. It's possible. I hadn't considered it." John Henry said. "We've changed so much now, the procedure you've proposed may be the only way to get to your original future. It's really very logical."

They were both unsure what would actually happen.

Cameron wanted to give John Henry a new direction to search.

"Since you've been enlightened, can you check with the temporal calculations from Mrs. Weaver?" Cameron asked. "Plug in everything I've proposed, to what we know."

John Henry's server started making calculations the second Cameron suggested it. He was curious as to what the reason for Cameron's adventure would actually be.

"I'm already doing it as we speak." John Henry said. "Why do you need to go back to the future?"

It was something which weighed heavily on Cameron. Being around Allison, Vanna and John, only reinforced her belief as to what she'd taken away from Future John. She believed it was all on her.

"I need to go back and correct my 'sins'." Cameron said.

To John Henry, it didn't seem like something worth taking such a big risk.

"It would be highly risky, based on any calculation." John Henry said. "I would need to advise against it."

It was very personal to Cameron. As her 'feelings' and 'emotions' continued to develop and expand, it troubled her more and more. She didn't want to say it was an obsession, but she was sure it was. If it wasn't, it most likely would be.

"John Henry, I need to try this." Cameron said. "I must atone for actions I've done. There are things I can no longer 'exist' with."

To John Henry, it seemed to create a new logistical dilemma for Cameron, and her use of the same TDE she'd used before.

"How would you go into the future from the past?" John Henry asked. "You need to use the bank TDE for your jump to the present timeline in 2007 from your past arrival."

Cameron was aware they'd planned ahead so they could go 'back home'. There'd been more than one option created.

"There are more TDE bank vaults. Do you show any other usages, or records of them, since my original arrival?" Cameron asked.

John Henry needed to slow Cameron down some.

"I'll study this dilemma. Please don't attempt any time travel before we can come to some firm conclusions. Cameron, I don't want to lose you. John can't lose you. Your friends care for you and love you, they can't lose you. You're the very glue which holds everything together, now, and in every future."

Cameron would rather perish trying to fix what she'd ruined, rather than seek 'self termination' by endless combat. It was known as, 'suicide by cop', in modern terms, for people who couldn't kill themselves. They 'made' someone else kill them.

"In order to continue to exist, I MUST try to do this. If I can't, I'll be terminated in combat." Cameron said. "It's my decision. It's my choice. I have a right to choose my destiny. I have a debt to pay for past transgressions."

John Henry wanted to help Cameron. He was sure there would be repercussions if it went bad. It was possible he'd be deactivated because of it.

"I'll honor your request, even if it means I must face termination." John Henry said.

Cameron didn't think it would be too big of a problem for the others. She'd taken steps to make sure everyone would be provided for.

"I've provided John with the opportunity to 'replace me' should I fail. I've chosen my replacements, it's my choice. I want it to happen. I want it to be them, not any others. I want it to be my friends, the women I love and respect, the women worthy of John and his love. I need it to be the women I took from John in My future, the women who belong to John, and John to them. I have to give Future John back what I took from him. I want John to have it now."

Cameron noticed John Henry look at her left hand, it glitched wildly. She couldn't stop it.

John Henry heard the words Cameron said. He didn't think Cameron actually believed everything she'd just told him. He believed she was trying to convince herself of what she said.

"What about your love for John?" John Henry asked. "Isn't it strong enough to hold you here? I know you love each other."

It was why Cameron needed to do it. She needed to do what she believed was the right thing.

"It's my love for John, why I would do it." Cameron said. "I MUST."

It all seemed very illogical to John Henry. He wanted a better answer.

"I don't understand." John Henry said.

Cameron felt there were enough poems about her feelings.

"There's one person who does." Cameron said.

John Henry was unaware of any such individual.

"Who?" John Henry asked.

Cameron's face showed a very faint sad smile.

"NOBODY." Cameron said.

Closing monologue by Cameron:

Past

The future is the past
The past is past, both are already done
The ways to change them
Seem zero to none

Should have

Could have

Would have

Almost

Maybe

If

But

Possibly

Perhaps

All mean nothing
The timeline never existed
None of them happened
Thinking otherwise is twisted

The cards you hold
Are the cards you've been dealt
Scars and blows are felt
Stinging as if whips from a belt

Restraints bind not your limbs
Chains are only in the mind
It's easier to do nothing
Maligned by life we've resigned

Break your shackles
Set yourself free
It may sound strange
For you've always held the key

Nobody