Chapter 45

Wait

Cameron told John she was leaving.

"John, I'm going to do this." Cameron said. "No power in the Verse can stop me."

John found what he heard hard to believe.

"When?" John asked. "When are you leaving?"

Cameron's face was blank.

"Now." Cameron said as she turned to walk away.

It was very confusing to John.

"Now? Cameron, this is a bad idea." John said.

John couldn't understand what Cameron was running from. Now she wanted to embark on some 'suicide mission' and never see him again. He wondered where everything went wrong. He knew it all came back to him for the actions he took in his recent past, and in the future, with Future John. He wondered why what they shared now couldn't be 'good enough'. He always knew he should have done more and taken it a step further. He was complaisant. He may have been caught 'looking at the light'. It happened on the drag strip. It didn't matter how fast your car was, if it was still sitting at the starting line when the other car thundered down the track.

Cameron stopped and faced John again. She wanted to make herself clear. She thought a reminder of some of his own words might have more meaning.

"You know I'm going to do it anyway." Cameron said. "It's happening."

John could hear his words in her statement. They came back to haunt him. What he did with Riley, after he blew Cameron off with those same words, was more of the problem.

If John was supposed to be the 'General', Cameron should listen to him.

"Cameron, I can't allow this." John said forcefully. "I won't tolerate this. I forbid this insanity."

Cameron wondered about insanity. There were times when she did feel she was insane. It wasn't the issue now.

"John, it's not up to you to allow, or not allow. I'm informing you what's going to occur. You can't stop me. I didn't want you to wake up tomorrow and never see me again without a goodbye." Cameron said. "This is it - Goodbye."

Cameron turned to leave. She started to walk away from John again.

"I won't allow this." John said. "I forbid you from leaving."

Cameron turned and faced him.

She wanted to tell John he didn't own her. She tried to remain calm. She wanted John to play his hand.

"John, I MUST do this." Cameron said.

John could see he didn't have any control.

"NO!" John shouted.

Cameron's face remained blank.

"Goodbye, John." Cameron said. "Good luck on your future."

John was desperate at this point. He thought about getting a Taser. Somehow it seemed like a bad idea. What choice would it leave him if he used it? He would need to pull her chip. If he pulled her chip, it would be like she was terminated anyway.

"Cameron! Don't do this to me." John pleaded. "Please, don't do this to us."

Cameron again turned to walk away. She said nothing further.

John blurted out what he felt.

"I love you, Cameron, and you love me." John said.

It stabbed Cameron inside. It was because of their love she needed to act. It was because of their future love. She needed to replace what she'd destroyed for Future John. She didn't know how to make John understand. She'd provided him with 'everything' he needed now, and in the near future. How could she be any more accommodating and less selfish? Allison and Vanna were his in her future. She'd already returned to John what she'd taken away from Future John. She needed to fix what she'd destroyed. She was sure everything was her fault anyway.

Cameron looked at her left hand, it was in major glitch mode. She stopped and turned.

"I love you, John, and you love me." Cameron said.

Cameron turned and walked away.

John didn't have all of his cards lined up. He needed to roll the dice anyway. He still needed more time.

"WAIT! Cameron, I need you to wait one day, or at least a few hours, please." John begged.

Cameron didn't see what would change with more time.

"What will be different in a few hours?" Cameron asked. "I am still leaving."

John needed to get some things in play. There were things in motion. He needed to accelerate the timeline. He needed to accelerate his timeline.

"Everything will change. I promise." John begged. "Please, I need just a few more hours. A few hours are all I ask."

Cameron's face remained blank.

"I'll continue my preparations." Cameron said. "You have a few hours."

Cameron walked away. A smile slowly blossomed on her face and then quickly faded. She suddenly felt like Mrs. Weaver at this point. It didn't matter anyway. She was still leaving no matter what happened. What she was doing only reinforced it.

She hoped to leave on a positive note. She didn't know if it would be or not. What needed to be done, needed to be done. She was the one who needed to do it. She wasn't exactly sure what John needed the extra time for. If he wanted her, she was available right now. There was no indication he did.

Cameron needed to get everything ready for her temporal mission. It was going to happen, one way or another.

John ran to find John Henry. He knew he was on a short timetable. Time was running out fast. Things needed to happen. They needed to happen now.

"John Henry, I need you to take Bob and Jim and go immediately to the jewelry store and get my items. I need them NOW." John said. "If you have to, can you fabricate them?"

John Henry didn't see the need for such urgency. It seemed as if there was an unnecessary rush.

"Yes. What is the hurry?" John Henry asked.

John wasn't sure what to say other than what Cameron just told him. He gave John Henry the bad news.

"Cameron is leaving." John said.

John Henry tilted his head slightly. He waited for John to say some more. He didn't.

"Cameron leaves all the time." John Henry said.

John didn't think John Henry fully understood what was about to happen. He didn't fully understand himself what was happening, or why. He wanted John Henry to understand the true gravity of the situation. Maybe he wanted to understand it himself.

"This time... This time she isn't coming back." John said.

John tried to fight the tears which were about to flow. It seemed like it was a losing battle. The more he thought about it, the worse it seemed to make everything.

John Henry was a little confused. Cameron hadn't told him to activate Unit Two and Unit Three yet. He didn't have the two Units ready. Perhaps this was a nudge to John. It seemed to be working if it was. John seemed desperate. He could see John trying to hold on to what was already gone. He'd previously told John he would help him. He would do his part to assist John with the original plan.

"I'll be back within two hours with what you need." John Henry said.

John sure hoped so. There were a bunch of things he needed. He needed them RIGHT NOW. He went to seek help. It was going to be a team effort.

He felt so bewildered. After all they'd been through. Cameron was just going to walk away. No. She is RUNNING away. None of it made sense, especially since he knew they both loved each other.

She was running from him, running from herself, running from her past, and running from THEIR future. She was running back to the future, back to her future, away from him, yet back to him - Future John. Maybe Future John loved her more than he did. Maybe she loved Future John more than him. Maybe Future John didn't treat her with such disrespect as his family and he had done. Cameron told him Future Allison was 'gone', and Future Savannah was sent away. It left Future John with Cameron. When the anti-Metal faction grew, Future John sent Cameron away. He sent her away to protect her from termination. He sent her away because he loved her. Sacrifice was the true test of love. It was clear it was a test Future John already passed.

Allison could hear her heartbeat. It sounded very loud to her. She took a small breath. She inhaled it very slowly, and exhaled it even slower.

There was some rustling in the brush near her. She held her breath.

"This is nothing." The first man whispered.

Allison could feel the bush next to her move.

"I'm telling you, man, I saw her." The second man whispered. "She's right in this area."

Allison held her plasma rifle ready. She wasn't going to use it unless she needed to. It would give away her position for sure. She wasn't sure how many of them there were. She wasn't even sure who the men were.

"This is a waste of time." The first man whispered.

"It's too dark to see anything." The second man whispered. "Go back and see if you can find 'Bucket Brain'."

Allison felt her heartbeat pick up at the mention of the Terminator. It was now clear the men were Grays.

"I don't like dealing with him." The first man whispered. "He gives me the 'creeps'."

"It's what they were created for." The second man whispered. "I'm going to wait here. I know she's here."

"It's probably not even a 'she'." The first man whispered. "It's the only reason I'm out here with you right now. This is 'Injun country'. You're going to get both of us killed. I'll go back and see if I can get the 'Tin Can' to come and look."

Allison slowly let out her breath. She slowly drew in another one. She could hear the one Gray pass right next to her. She even felt the bush she was behind move. In the dim moonlight, she could see one of the men move away. She didn't think it was a ruse. It was clear what was going to happen next if the Gray returned with a Terminator. She would be found instantly.

She listened intently around her. She could hear the rustling of the underbrush. She carefully put her plasma rifle down. She was still in a crouching position. She pulled out her knife. She was going to need to kill the man near her. She would need to do it as silently as possible.

There was a faint metallic sound. It sounded like a zipper to her. A couple of seconds later she could hear what sounded like a faint and 'splashing' noise. She realized what it was. The Gray was in the process of relieving himself. It was now her time to strike. More than likely, one of the Gray's hands would be tied up with what he was doing.

She carefully looked around the side of the bush. She could see the Gray standing about four feet away from her. His back was to her.

Allison decided to make her move. She lunged forward. In one quick motion she jammed her knife into the Gray's lower back. She pulled it out and jammed it again and then again. She tried to put her hand over his mouth at the same time to stifle any screams. The second endeavor wasn't as successful as the first one. The Gray was able to get out a muffled scream, even as he fell.

She jammed the knife into the front of his throat. She pushed it down to the left side. There was nothing but a 'gurgling' noise as the man thrashed about. She reached down and picked up his weapon. It wasn't as good as hers, but it was a weapon. It was an M4.

She looked around her for any signs of the other Gray. She didn't spot him. Even as the Gray's body shuddered, she searched him for anything else of value. She was able to retrieve a few extra magazines for the M4, as well as some food. She would have liked to have found some water, but there wasn't any.

Allison slung the M4 over her back and retrieved her plasma rifle. She knew she needed to put some distance between her and where the Gray laid dying. She figured he got off lucky. She didn't do anything else to him, even though everything was completely exposed.

There was some more noise behind her. She paused where she was at and turned around. There were two red eyes looking at her. She saw a metallic hand reach for her throat. She'd been caught by a Terminator.

Allison's eyes shot open. She gasped for air and she reached up and touched her neck.

"Are you all right?" Vanna asked.

Allison quickly realized it was all a dream.

"I'm fine." Allison said. "Let's go for a walk around the base."

Vanna and Allison left their quarters and started down the hallway.

John went in search of Vanna and Allison. He couldn't find them at first. They weren't in their room. It caused him even more panic. Then he saw them. He ran to them. He needed some answers and he needed some assistance.

John explained what was about to happen. He seemed to have no control over the situation. He looked desperately to the girls for anything they could do.

"Vanna, Allison, I need to know everything about Cameron." John said.

The girls looked at each other.

Allison was glad for the current interaction. It helped keep her mind off of her earlier dream.

"You'd better sit down." Allison said. "This is going to be a rough ride."

The girls told him everything and why. It was the 'why' which was important to Cameron. John thought of the terrible agony he'd put Cameron through. It was the pain, the torment, the betrayal and the replacement. He'd hurt her so much, death was a better option to her at times. The way things were all falling apart, it seemed death was a pretty good option for himself.

John wanted to get all the facts straight. The implication was very clear. If one version of Cameron could try something extreme, it meant any version of her could as well.

"So a computer version of Cameron, actually started to self-terminate?" John asked.

Vanna laid it out as she saw it. There was no way to sugarcoat any of it.

"Yes. Her programming can no longer stop her. She's advanced beyond it. Her feelings and emotions now control her. John, she's as much 'human' as Allison or myself." Vanna said. "Her frequent combat is a veiled attempt at self termination as well. She seems to seek an 'honorable death' in combat. I think we can all see it."

Allison felt this was her fault with the 'Neural Interface' in the future with Cameron. It may have been Future Allison, but it was still her, a version of her anyway.

"It's my fault, my memories and the 'me' in her, a future 'me' anyway. It must be driving her in some way." Allison mused. "I must be the one to blame. I'm sorry, John."

Vanna dropped another revelation.

"John, do you realize when she gave you the ability to push a button and destroy her, what she was really asking of you?" Vanna asked.

John remembered what Cameron said to him.

"It was to protect me in case she went 'bad' again and reverted." John said. "She didn't want to hurt me."

Vanna could see John still didn't have a clue. She thought it was a little deeper.

"No, it was a secondary objective." Vanna stated. "She was asking you, and begging you, to push the button if you continued to choose Riley over her. She wanted you to stop the pain. Rejection and replacement was literally killing her. Do you understand if at that time she could self terminate, she would have? If she weren't a Terminator, she would be dead. Only her programming at the time prevented it. It no longer can."

John thought of her poems, her pain, and her deepest sadness and sorrow.

It hit him like a sledgehammer.

"Oh my God. What have I done?" John asked.

Allison thought things could have been done a little differently.

"Not the correct things." Allison said.

John was desperate. He looked around and found a pad of paper and a pen.

"Vanna, Allison, I need you to go out and purchase these items ASAP." John said. "Find Mr. Ellison too. Tell him what I need."

John wrote a quick list.

Vanna and Allison glanced at each other and turned to go.

"Let's get crackin'." Allison said.

There was new excitement in the air as they hurried away.

John thought of one more thing he wanted to make clear.

"Make sure it's white. She's earned that privilege." John called loudly after them.

The two girls hurried away. They were both very thrilled about what was going to occur.

"Is this really happening?" Allison asked.

Vanna held up the list in her hand. Things were spelled out pretty clearly.

"It sure looks like it." Vanna said. "I'm holding the proof in my hand."

After another hour, John Henry returned with the items John wanted. He'd only needed to add the inscription John wanted. The rest was already done. The jeweler was amazed he needed no magnification to do it, and did it in a just a minute. The jeweler was pleased at the workmanship.

John Henry paid the jeweler double, and said to forget anything ever happened.

The jeweler looked at Bob, Jim and John Henry. He was already 'forgetting' as the burly trio left the store. They didn't look like anything he wanted to mess with. He felt the pay was good. It was as much as he would normally earn in a week.

John headed for the intercom after he thanked John Henry for his assistance and discretion. He thanked Jim and Bob too.

Everything started to fall into place. He had what he needed to get the ball rolling. Vanna and Allison needed to play their part still. John hoped he could pull it off. He wasn't really sure what was going to happen.

John pondered what he would say to Cameron, and how best to do it. He knew it all mattered. He felt he was ready. He pushed the button on the intercom and leaned forward.

"Cameron, can you come to my room, our room, please." John asked.

Closing monologue by Cameron:

Wait

Things happen very fast in life
Sometimes we sit and wait
We may not see it occur
Then suddenly we're too late

One can be left looking
When the other leaves the gate
They may depart in a huff
Feeling dejected and irate

Maybe it wasn't noticed
As one dangled the bait
When the call goes unanswered
One's inner self begins to deflate

Love that's not returned
Withers and is soon innate
When another is involved
Love may even turn to hate

One can always refocus
They can clear the slate
Maybe confusion can be avoided
If our desires we clearly state

Nobody