Chapter 69

Cameron

Vanna and Allison were done arguing. It didn't do anything but make them angrier at each other. Neither one of them wanted a fight, especially not tonight. Tonight their lives were about to change. Their future was going to change. It was a big step forward from which there was no return. It was something they both wanted. It was something they both needed. It was also what Cameron asked of them, and made them promise to do. Their promise meant something to them too. They intended to carry out what they promised to do.

Vanna knew it was best for Allison to 'go first' because of her 'condition'. Allison was in the window for conception. She wasn't sure if either of them could actually produce offspring, or bring a pregnancy to term. Neither of them was ever pregnant before that they knew of. Chances were pretty good both of them should have been at some point. She knew she should have been because of some of the things which were done to her. They were things she never even told Allison about. Maybe one day she could tell her everything. It still hurt too much to think of what they'd done to her, and how it was done.

It really made her wonder what went on in some people's minds. A Skynet future was Hell for all of them. Why did some people need to make it worse? Who were they to be able to use other people for their own personal gain?

She was painfully aware with all the radiation, chemical, and biological warfare exposure they experienced, all of those things were probably part of the problem. There were very few babies born in her future. Most of them didn't survive. A woman who could give birth, was a female to fight over. A man who could successfully father a child, always seemed to have plenty of females 'waiting in line' for his seed. Now it was their turn, in the past. There was only one way to find out what would actually work for them. Allison was about to put it to the test.

Vanna wondered how she would do as a mother, even if it was as 'a mother' to Allison's child. It would still be THEIR child. Maybe it was one of the reasons she tried so hard to stay with Allison. It might be her only hope, and chance, to be a 'mother' that way. She really hoped one of them would be able to get pregnant one day. They weren't getting any younger either.

Allison won the second coin toss.

There were a million thoughts which passed through her head in that instant. It was more than what was about to happen in the next few minutes. It was also about her future and what it would yield. If she could get pregnant, she really wanted Vanna at her side to help her. She didn't think she would make a very good mother on her own. Vanna always did better around small children than she did. Vanna's maternal instincts were much greater than hers were.

Allison wasn't really sure why there was such a difference between them. Vanna was a little older than her. Maybe she'd been able to be around smaller children before Judgment Day occurred. It was Skynet's fault no matter what it was.

It was time to stop thinking about it and go do it. She hadn't been with a male in a long time. She'd been abused a few times. She even tried to get pregnant a few times later on. None of those encounters lasted more than two minutes. They were just about having the genetic material deposited inside her body. She was on her knees. It wasn't 'love making' in any way. It was the way animals reproduced. Maybe it's what Skynet eventually reduced them to. Scavengers were another cruel example of total animal behavior.

Allison looked at Vanna for a long moment. There really wasn't anything left to say. They seemed to have said it all earlier. Vanna nodded her head slightly. It seemed to be the indication to go. She left Vanna to go to John's room.

She felt guilty because Vanna actually won the first coin toss. She was aware Vanna saw she'd won the first coin toss as well. Maybe it wasn't as bad since Vanna didn't call for the best of 'two out of three'.

Allison walked out the door at ten minutes to eight.

She took ten steps and stopped.

Allison turned around and went back to her room. Her true love was Vanna. She couldn't do this to her this way. She didn't have any right to take what wasn't hers. She was sure it would bother her for the rest of her life, if she would have continued to John's room, and been with him first under the current conditions.

Vanna was surprised to see Allison walk back into their room. She wiped the tears from her face when she saw Allison return. The 'crack' in her heart stopped 'bleeding' when her beloved returned. She was afraid she'd just 'lost' Allison to John.

Allison's words to her meant so much.

"I can't do this to you, Vanna." Allison said. "I can't do this to you. I love you too much."

Vanna tried to 'tough it out' so she wouldn't start to cry again.

"It's you who won the coin toss." Vanna said.

Allison knew it wasn't entirely correct. A sense of guilt already haunted her. She needed to say something. She needed to address the issue. Not only was it the right thing to do, it was something she needed to do for herself. She should have stopped the quarter sooner the first time. She hadn't.

"You won the first time, Vanna." Allison confessed. "I stole it from you."

Vanna believed love could be expressed with 'loss' or sacrifice. She also knew life needed to move forward. She didn't want to drive a wedge between them.

"I know." Vanna said. "I love you, Allison. I'll sacrifice for you."

Allison knew sacrifice was the true test of love. It made her feel even guiltier. She would rather face the future with Vanna at her side. Vanna meant everything to her. They'd faced death together too many times to have any issues between them.

"I want to wait here with you. At that point, whatever happens - happens." Allison said. "I can't do this to you. I won't."

The two girls embraced in a long tearful hug. They loved each other. If they shared, they both wanted to share together. It was how their life was. It is how they wanted their life to be….

Vanna was very grateful for Allison's act of magnanimity. She didn't know if she could have done the same thing. She would like to think she would have been able to do so. She believed it reaffirmed their love and commitment to each other. Did anything else really matter, other than how they felt towards each other?

"Thank you, Allison." Vanna said. "It proves we love each other."

Vanna was never 'taken' by another man once Allison rescued her. She didn't have a desire for ANY man to ever touch her again. Men always abused her since she was a girl - A GIRL. She didn't hate all men, even if she hated most of them. She saw Derek and Kyle always respected her. They never tried to take advantage of her. They also made sure no one else tried either. She was pretty sure Derek may have killed some men who 'wanted' Allison and her. Some of those men who stalked Allison and her 'disappeared'. She never asked, and he never said.

Vanna was aware Allison was with a few men after they were 'together'. She never asked her about it. She'd seen Allison sneak away for several hours a few times. She didn't want to know. If Allison wanted a 'traditional relationship', it was her choice. She was happy with Allison, but she knew Allison felt different desires and 'needs' than she did. She understood hormones played a big factor in the desires of some. It was what nature intended. What some humans could do to other humans, changed the events nature intended to happen for some of those abused.

John was the first man Vanna would be with by choice. She knew there would be no violence or beating to go along with it. There wouldn't be group to follow him as they held her down and laughed as they took 'turns', over and over. There would be no threat of parts of her body being cut off and kept as trophies. She watched it happen with her own eyes.

She'd been with females who survived some of the violence. They were never able to 'finish' again, she tried to help them. She couldn't. It soon became her goal to be with every abused female possible in an attempt to show them they still had some type of value as a human being. She never let their scars or missing body parts bother her. If anything, she concentrated on those areas the most. She was scarred as well.

Vanna and Allison remained in their room.

The time went past eight o'clock.

Then it went past nine o'clock.

The girls waited and waited. John never arrived.

It was almost ten o'clock.

The girls were worried.

Vanna thought too much time passed.

"Something must be wrong, or something happened." Vanna said.

Allison started to listen for a gunshot after the first hour passed. She was on edge every second after that, waiting to hear it. She didn't want to tell Vanna what she observed on one occasion when she returned Cameron's clothes to John's room. She still wondered about what she said in the moment to stop him. It worked. She didn't believe the words were too far from the truth either. She felt she needed to do something. The words just popped into her head.

"I'll go look. I promise not to do anything." Allison said.

She looked back at Vanna.

Vanna looked a little apprehensive.

Allison didn't want it to become an issue.

"I promise, Vanna." Allison said as she left.

Allison walked down the hall. She stopped at John's door. She thought she heard talking. There was no one else at the base but John, Vanna and her. Any of the Terminators there were supposed to be in standby. Wait. There was one 'wild card' which needed to be checked.

She quickly went to the lab. She observed the 'Metal Bitch Whore' was still there. It gave her a little relief, but not much. She hurried to tell Vanna.

"There's some female in the room with John." Allison said. "It's not the new 'Metal Bitch Whore' either, I checked."

Vanna knew the options were limited.

"I hope it's not Sarah." Vanna joked.

Allison was glad Sarah and John weren't Hillbillies. She was aware of one other option. It left her with a very uncomfortable feeling.

"Or Savannah…." Allison joked back.

Vanna cringed a little. She knew of the burden Cameron placed on Savannah's back. Savannah talked of being 'married' to John, and having children for Cameron and him. Savannah was dead serious and believed what she said. She knew it would happen soon enough. She thought about some of the things she needed to go through when she was younger than Savannah currently was.

"That's not funny, Allison." Vanna said.

Cameron was a little shocked at what John said. She wanted to set him straight.

"My name is Cameron." Cameron said.

John wondered if he said 'Cameron's' name by mistake when he was with Allison. He was afraid he was going to do it. He must have. He didn't think she needed to rub it in. He was caught up in the moment. Mistakes were bound to have happened.

"That's not funny, Allison." John said.

Cameron could tell John thought she was Allison. It left her with an uneasy feeling.

"John, I am Cameron." Cameron said. "I'm your wife."

John didn't like the 'game'. He felt it was cruel. How could Allison do it to him after what they'd just done?

"Stop it, Allison." John said. "What we did was very difficult for me as it was."

Cameron tried to get it across to John she was his wife. She tried a new tactic.

"I love you, John, and you love me." Cameron said.

Those words echoed in John's mind. Was this for real? He'd heard Allison say those same words before. He really didn't want to think about the circumstances they were uttered under. Maybe it was Cameron. He didn't see how. It made him think of what Savannah always told him. Cameron was invincible. Cameron was eternal.

"Cameron?" John asked somewhat bewildered.

Cameron was unsure why there was so much confusion on John's part.

"YES!" Cameron said. "I'm Cameron, your wife."

John grabbed her. He was sure she was gone forever.

"Cameron, I can't believe you're back." John said. "I've missed you so much."

Cameron deduced John really thought she was Allison. It made her wonder what else 'happened' in her absence. Maybe she should have checked on the 'Metal Bitch Whore' in the lab a little further. John's last statement resonated in her mind.

"Apparently not…." Cameron said.

John caught her drift right away.

"No, nothing ever happened." John said.

Cameron saw it for what it was. It all made sense now. She wasn't 'herself', she was a receptacle. She was pretty sure it depended upon what the definition of 'happened' actually meant.

"It felt like it did. You thought I was Allison." Cameron said. "You just made love to 'Allison', not me."

John tried to justify himself. He didn't want things to blow up in his face.

"I'm sorry, Cameron. I did think you were Allison, but I was thinking of you. I ONLY saw you in my mind." John said. "It was always 'YOU' to me."

John tried to explain everything to her.

Cameron did hear John say her name when she came into the room. He actually said her name twice as they made love, even if he didn't know it. She didn't think he did. It was clear he did think about her as they made love. Even though nothing happened, it did make her feel a little sad for Allison. Allison was the one who would have been the receptacle, rather than the person in John's mind.

She decided to cut him some slack. This was all on her. She did ask everyone to move on without her. She even made them all promise to do it. She thought about the amount of time which elapsed since her departure, before her sudden and unannounced arrival.

"I understand, John." Cameron said. "I actually find it hard to believe you waited this long to try."

John always believed once he was with Vanna or Allison, it would signify the 'death' of Cameron and that she would never return. It was why he waited. He waited until they'd exhausted every possible way to 'find' her and get her back. They ran out of options to continue to try.

"I did wait, Cameron. I did wait for you, and it was YOU." John said. "It was what I hoped and wished for. It came true."

Cameron tilted her head slightly at John's explanation.

Vanna and Allison were unsure what to do. What if there was another Liquid Metal Terminator after John? They were aware of the earlier incident. They didn't know how much of the Liquid Metal Terminator was involved the first time. They believed it was only a tiny piece. The tiny piece of the Liquid Metal Terminator could still be out there. There was no guarantee they destroyed all of it. They only destroyed what they found in the park.

Allison was worried about a number of things. The Liquid Metal Terminator and Cameron's Glock were only two of them.

"I need to go check on him, Vanna." Allison said.

Vanna thought they better find out together. It was possible there was some type of threat.

"I'll come too." Vanna said.

The two girls went to John's room.

Allison knocked.

"John, are you in there?" Allison asked. "Is everything OK?"

There was a long pause.

"Yes, come in. I have a surprise for you." John said.

Allison tried to make light of it.

"It's what I was hoping for a few hours ago." Allison said.

The girls walked in. They saw John only in his underwear. The bed was a mess.

Vanna looked at everything for a moment. She still remembered Allison said there was a female in the room with him earlier.

"Was there someone in here with you?" Vanna asked.

John smiled at them.

"Actually there was, and is." John said.

There was a figure in the darkness behind them.

"Hello, Allison." Cameron said. "Hello, Vanna."

Both women looked on in amazement as Cameron stepped out of the shadows. Her naked form was clearly visible. She looked stunning. Allison wondered why she never looked as good. Cameron always looked better than her, with or without clothes.

"Cameron?" They both asked in unison.

Cameron smiled at them.

"Yes." Cameron said.

The girls all hugged each other.

Cameron stiffened a little as she touched Allison. She realized Allison was ready for conception. Any anger she previously felt instantly evaporated. A sick feeling overtook her as she realized she just prevented John from possibly having a descendant. She wanted things to happen. Now it looked like she'd 'ruined' it. Her failure would come back to haunt her endlessly.

Vanna and Allison wanted to know more about what happened and how.

Cameron put on one of John's shirts. She sat on the bed and told her story. It was midnight before she finished.

Allison and Vanna started to go back to their room.

Cameron knew life was about choices. She made one.

"Allison, I'd like you to stay." Cameron said.

Vanna looked at Allison and nodded. She left John's room.

Allison watched Vanna go. She turned her attention back to Cameron.

"Yes, Cameron?" Allison asked.

Cameron knew sacrifice was the true test of love. She looked Allison straight in the face.

"I'm going to Vanna's room." Cameron said. "I want you to stay here with John."

Allison understood Cameron's statement for what it meant. Cameron wanted her to 'be with' John. It was clear Cameron scanned her. Cameron knew it was possible for conception to occur. She felt a lot of thoughts and feelings pile up inside of her.

"I can't do it, Cameron, not NOW." Allison said.

Cameron couldn't help but think about Future John. She wanted John to have a child.

"I insist." Cameron said.

Allison felt like an intruder at this point. She didn't believe it was the right time to pursue such an endeavor.

"Cameron, you need to be with John now. I know you scanned me. I know you know what could have happened." Allison said. "It can wait months or years even. I can't do this to you. I won't."

Cameron saw it as an act of love for her on Allison's part. It didn't seem the right time to push the issue. She'd already made an honest attempt.

"Thank you, Allison." Cameron said.

Cameron gave Allison a long hug and a kiss on the cheek.

Allison left.

Cameron watched the door close. She turned her attention back to John. It seemed there was still quite a bit of unfinished business they needed to attend to.

"Now, where were we?" Cameron asked.

John remembered right where they were at. He hoped Cameron would pick up where she let off, when the knock at the door came. He was ready to do his part.

"You were about to…." John started.

What chapter was this again?

Closing monologue by Cameron:

You And I Talk About It A Lot

As through each day we struggle
Our paths can become confused
Needless blows to each other
Leaving each other bruised

So we play the game
Around each other we dance
What are we waiting for
It is time to take a chance

I know in my mind
When I see you I cringe
For it is my very heart
That you burn and singe

It is time to face the music
You already know my tune
The moment is now soon
As we make each other swoon

We already both know
What it is we have got
It's right in front of you
You and I talk about it a lot

Nobody