Chapter 92

Voices

John and Cameron were alone in their room. They 'explored' each other.

Cameron always wanted to learn everything on her own. She knew she could please John better if she started to use her sexual infiltration programming. She would give John the choice and see if he chose 'her', or the 'very scary robot' as a mechanical 'love doll'.

John was naked in their bed.

Cameron was likewise next to him.

"Do you want me to turn my programming on?" Cameron asked.

John didn't even need to think about it. He wanted to be with 'Cameron', not programming from someone else.

"No!" John said. "I want to explore together with you, just us."

Cameron was pleased to hear it. It was what she wanted too.

"So far I've found it pleasant and rewarding." Cameron said.

John looked at Cameron and smiled.

"As have I, Cameron. I'm so happy you chose me as your husband." John said.

They faced each other now.

Things got a little more serious.

Cameron reflected on all the things which could have gone wrong. There seemed to be quite a few of them.

"I did choose you, John. I'm here with YOU, now. I'm not lost in time, or some other future or past." Cameron said. "I wasn't terminated."

John wanted things to stay the way they were. He knew Cameron faced a lot of internal 'demons'.

"Can we keep it that way?" John asked. "Please, just for US?"

It was something Cameron wanted too.

"Yes." Cameron said.

Cameron rolled on her back. She wanted more. She wanted the sensations John allowed her to feel.

"Can you touch me again, John….?" Cameron asked.

John smiled.

"I can." John said. "Where would you like me to start?"

Cameron wasn't sure. She liked when John was able to make her 'finish'.

"As long as we reach the destination, the path to get there isn't as important." Cameron said.

John wasn't so sure about it. He was aware Cameron liked him to do the same things, the same way, every time. It was fine with him, as long as it was what Cameron liked and wanted.

He would do something new or a different way sometimes. Maybe he would change the order. Whenever he did, it took Cameron longer to 'get there'. It was like she needed to relearn what was happening. He knew it was the same things, they were just in a different order.

John decided to stick with everything the way they did it on their wedding night. It always seemed to please Cameron. He started in as he originally did. He could feel Cameron respond instantly. She already knew what to expect.

Cameron liked the way John touched her. She liked repetition and order. She knew if John did certain things, she would arrive where she wanted to. It was what she looked forward to now. Life was good in Paradise.

Sarah was in the bathroom. She felt very tired physically. She looked at her breasts in the mirror as she touched them. There was some tenderness to them which wasn't there before. She reflected upon her earlier diagnosis about dying from cancer. She hoped she was beyond the event at this point. She didn't know. She checked the pad in her underwear. It was unblemished. She left the bathroom and looked at the calendar. She was a full two weeks late. She felt a slight feeling of nausea again, but it passed quickly.

Kyle entered their room and noticed Sarah looking at the calendar.

When she heard him, she quickly looked away from the calendar.

Kyle came over to her and kissed her. They talked for a little bit. It seemed Sarah was a little 'off'.

He was about to ask her what was wrong, when she faced him with a very serious look.

"Kyle." Sarah said.

He wondered what was wrong.

"Yes, Sarah?" Kyle asked.

Sarah ran a million thoughts through her mind. She looked at Kyle a little longer before she continued. There was no way to say it other than to say it.

"Kyle, I think I am pregnant." Sarah said.

Kyle needed to process what Sarah just said. When he did, a giant smile blossomed on his face.

"Really?" Kyle asked. "I think it's great news, Sarah."

Sarah gave a faint smile. She was filled with doubt and worry. There was a lot of negative past experience which weighed on her. The difficulties to keep John out of the way of Skynet was one of them. She knew it would require a lot of effort to do the same thing again. The difference was, she would have assistance now. It was assistance which she could rely on. The future was still an unknown.

"I don't know, Kyle." Sarah said. "With Judgment Day coming, I don't know if this is the right thing to do."

Kyle didn't see it the same way. The glass was half full, not half empty. He thought about his relationship with Sarah. It expanded greatly since they'd been together. It seemed better and better to him all of the time. Their love was strong.

"How can a child created out of love not be the 'right thing', Sarah?" Kyle asked. "It's the manifestation of our love."

He felt a little hurt. He thought Sarah would be happier. She seemed rather subdued.

Sarah worried about a Skynet future. She knew what the girls from the future faced. She was aware every female was abused at some point. It wasn't something she looked forward to for a child of hers. She knew the world was an ugly place, even as it currently was. When Skynet wrecked everything, it would only make everything worse.

"I don't know." Sarah said. "I'm worried about the future."

Kyle moved closer to her and held her in his arms. He wanted to show Sarah his support and love. What Sarah just told him was very important to him.

They kissed.

It was news Kyle wanted to hear. He wasn't sure it was for real this time. They'd been through the same thing a few times, but it never lasted more than two months. He was aware it was a common problem in the future. The implication of non-success seemed to point in his direction. He wanted to find out a little more.

"Are you sure you are…?" Kyle asked. "What makes you think so?"

Kyle actually wondered what took so long anyway. Sarah didn't use any birth control. Nothing happened so far which seemed like it was going to 'stick'. He was afraid he was like most of the men from his future and now sterile. He felt too ashamed to say anything. He knew of the outcast feeling it created, and especially how the females were treated who couldn't reproduce. They became barter and were traded like commodities. They were unwanted as a mate. They became 'things' to use. Eventually they ended up in the hands of Scavengers. It was usually a fate worse than death.

Sarah was in the bathroom early for a specific reason. Maybe she needed to spell it out.

"Cameron helped me with my hair earlier." Sarah said.

Kyle didn't think it was so unusual.

"She always helps you with things." Kyle said. "She likes to help you."

Sarah pointed to the table. There were some booklets there of some type.

"Cameron came back later with some catalogs of maternity clothes and baby clothes." Sarah said. "She just looked at me, smiled, and walked away…."

Sarah believed Cameron 'told' her something, without saying a word.

Kyle hoped it was true. He knew a version of him was John's father. This would be something which made him a real father. He really wanted it. He wanted to make Sarah want it too. How could she not want a child created by love?

He was worried about the future as well. He believed they were in better control of the narrative than they were in his future. He also knew there was no guarantee. Nothing was written in stone. Could Skynet still destroy the world? He was pretty sure there was some version which could figure out a way to do it. With multiple futures, they weren't just dealing with one version of Skynet. Just as he was different from Future Kyle, even if they were the same individual, he was sure different versions of Skynet were the same way.

Kyle wondered what it would be like if he was in the same time period as Future Kyle. They would both love the same woman. How would it work out? Would they fight over her? Would they share her? What would Sarah want? Would she choose one of them over the other? It was a very disturbing concept to contemplate.

He better understood Cameron's trauma over being 'replaced' by the girl from her future. He was aware Cameron didn't terminate her. She allowed John to make a choice to have what he wanted. It was still an uncomfortable thought to think there were probably additional versions of 'Kyle Reese' out there. He really hoped Sarah was pregnant. It would forever tie them together, if they were able to produce a child.

Vanna and Allison were alone in their room. They were there often for more than sleep.

There were a few things on Allison's mind she wanted to address. They were much more prevalent since the incident in the burning building with Cameron and Jesse.

"You know, Vanna, I really enjoy the person Jesse has become." Allison said. "It's such a change for her."

Vanna could see Jesse was no longer guided by lust and greed. She wasn't selfish or self-centered anymore. She was actually a pleasure to be around. She could be quite friendly and playful at times as well.

"Yes, she's so nice and helpful now." Vanna said. "I think all she needed was to be loved by a family, our family."

Allison believed it was the different environment as much as anything.

"For once she's been given love, without something being taken from her or being hurt." Allison said. "No one is expecting anything in return from her, or worse, demanding it."

Vanna knew there was something else too. She thought it was a big 'something'.

"You saved her life, Allison." Vanna said.

Allison remembered everything she saw with her own eyes. It was clear what was happening when she arrived. Cameron and Jesse were both going to be consumed by the fire. Jesse continued to struggle to move Cameron anyway. It was an image of bravery and resolve she would never forget.

"She saved Cameron at the risk of the loss of her own life. The old Jesse would have run." Allison said. "Jesse would have died in there with Cameron if help hadn't arrived. I saw her, Vanna. She wasn't going to abandon Cameron. She knew she was dying. She could have saved herself and she didn't. She was dying and knew it. She stayed anyway."

Allison knew it was love that made the call for Jesse. Sacrifice was the true test of love.

Vanna knew Allison's contribution was just as significant. She went into the inferno to help. She risked everything as well to help.

"You went and tried to save both of them, at the risk of you losing your own life." Vanna said. "You gambled everything as well, with no certainty as to what the outcome would be."

Allison made the 'hard choice'. There really was no choice at that point. It was simply what needed to be done.

"Yes. I would do it again too." Allison said. "It was the right thing to do."

Vanna witnessed similar behavior several times in Allison.

"Like it was the right thing to do to use yourself as 'bait' to save Young Kyle and Young Derek?" Vanna asked. "You need to be careful your mind doesn't keep writing checks your body can't cash. I'm glad the young Reese brothers are safe."

Allison believed the circumstances were very much the same. There was no choice there either. There was only what needed to be done. She believed it was a debt from the future she needed to pay, no matter what the cost would be. It was about doing the right thing. It was about doing what needed to be done, when it needed to be done.

"Yes. I would do it again too." Allison said. "How could I not? They saved you and me so many times. They protected us. You know what would have happened to us otherwise."

Vanna touched Allison's cheek. She was her true love. There was also an open end to their relationship as far as females were concerned. It was one thing she made clear. She needed to 'help' the females who were abused find value and worth in themselves again. She did it many times with a loving touch.

Maybe she believed it helped redeem her as well. She knew what it was like to be abused by others. She'd been luckier than most when she was captured by Scavengers. A Terminator canceled her obligation. She needed to reflect on the fact, it would have killed her as well if it found her.

"Allison, the time Jesse was in our bed, did it bother you we may have done 'something' together?" Vanna asked.

Allison smiled at the thought. She remembered how HOT Jesse looked naked. She wished the shower together would have led to 'more'.

"No, we all shared a great time that night. I wished we would have done 'more' sometimes, and been able to remember it." Allison looked at Vanna. "We both know she's HOT. To be honest, I find her quite desirable…. The person she has become makes her very attractive to me. It's very pleasant to look at a face with a smile on it. It's one thing we were always able to share with each other, even in the roughest of times."

It was what Vanna wanted to hear. She felt the same way. She believed it was time to expand their relationship a little further. She wanted to be able to remember what happened this time. She decided to run a proposal by Allison and see how it played out. She didn't want it to be viewed as anything being done behind Allison's back.

"Would you like to invite Jesse here to be with us sometime?" Vanna asked.

Allison was instantly aroused at the thought of the three of them together.

"Do you mean the three of us? I would, Vanna, but I don't want to cause any friction or problems between us. I'm not going to go behind your back. I only want to do what you're comfortable with. If you say 'no' it's fine. I find Jesse extremely attractive and HOT."

There was a knock at the door.

Vanna looked into Allison's eyes. Events were a little further along than she indicated.

"I know it is something you would like. I already invited her to 'stop' by…." Vanna said.

It was clear to Allison that Vanna was as excited as she was. She wanted to make sure everything was good before things got started. She didn't know where anything would lead. She possessed a pretty good idea from past experience.

"There won't be any problems?" Allison asked. "It's for both of us."

Vanna was ready for a new adventure. Her previous overtures with Cameron and Sarah hadn't gone anywhere. She did think she was very close to being with Sarah a few times. Kyle's arrival ended the prospect, as John's return ended her journey with Cameron. She was still sure Cameron and her could have shared, if they only would have had a few more days without anyone else involved. She needed to refocus on Jesse.

"I wouldn't have it any other way. I want it too. She is HOT." Vanna said. "I think there's a lot there for each of us to explore as we share and enjoy each other's company."

They'd each shared with other females in the past. This was something they both wanted. It had been a long time since their last 'three way'. It was about to change. They were both extremely excited with the prospect of a new journey.

"Come in." They said together.

Jesse stood outside the door. There was a lot on her mind as she waited there.

It was something she wanted for a long time. Now it was different. She wanted to be with Allison and Vanna because they were her 'friends', not conquests. She loved both of them dearly. She owed Allison her life, or at the least for not being horribly burned and disfigured.

Jesse loved Cameron. She loved Cameron like she'd loved no other in her life. Cameron gave her respect and honor. Cameron made her feel proud and have esteem. The day Cameron gave her the purple coat, she knew Cameron truly cared about her. It changed her life. Being around Cameron changed everyone's life.

She decided if the adventure with Vanna and Allison really happened, she would start with Allison as Allison, then Vanna, and then 'Cameron' through Allison. She knew it was 'wrong', but she would always see Allison as Allison first. The three of them together, would always be a 'foursome' to Jesse.

Jesse took a deep breath. She wanted more than sex. She swallowed hard. She lifted her hand and knocked.

"Come in." The two voices were 'three' voices in Jesse's mind.

Derek reflected on an earlier conversation with John.

John talked to Derek about Jesse.

He told Derek he never touched Jesse, and he didn't plan to do so.

Derek explained Jesse operated on her own desires, not his. They shared the freedom to do as they pleased. It was fine with him. It is how it always was between them. He was aware sometimes when a person needed to hang on to something, they couldn't hang on to it too tight. If they did, what they held onto would most likely be crushed.

He looked at Jesse's calendar. He saw she would be spotting in two days time. He looked forward to her return later tonight or tomorrow. She went to great lengths to please him now. She was a better person to be around. In fact the more he thought of her, the more he realized he was in love with her. He hoped John would keep his promise. John was a good man.

A single tear ran down Derek's cheek. He wondered if Jesse could ever love him. He wondered how Cameron won Jesse's love without trying. Everyone loved Cameron, really cared about her, loved her, and knew how truly special she was. Derek wondered if there was room in Jesse's heart for 'both' of them.

He didn't believe it was his place to say anything to Jesse, one way or the other. Jesse was an adult and could make her own choices.

Cameron and John 'finished' up.

John went off to attend to his duties in the Command Center.

Cameron looked around the empty room. She was by herself in her room. She wrote in her poem book. She felt very alone in her mind. There were so many things she wanted. There were so many things she needed to do. Why wasn't anything simple?

'Blowing In The Wind' by 'Peter, Paul and Mary', played in the background. Cameron felt the lyrics.

Nobody could hear her cry.

Closing monologue by Cameron:

Voices

There are things we hear
There are things we know
Will things happen fast
Or will they happen slow

We get suggestions
We are given advice
Does it really matter
Nobody ever thinks twice

We forge blindly ahead
Often without a set direction
There are many things we will do
To get some returned affection

Surrounded by many others
We often feel all alone
It is at times like these
We wish we had a clone

In our own mind
There are many voices
None of them ever give real guidance
To life's many changing choices

Nobody