Chapter 102

Lost

Cameron and the girls were all a little concerned about their surroundings. It was an environment unlike anything any of them ever experienced before. There was thick jungle growth around them. It was humid and the sky was dark with clouds and smoke from the active volcano. The frequent tremors were very unsettling.

Allison finally asked the question they all wanted to ask. It already seemed quite evident. They were all afraid of what the answer would be.

"Are we in prehistoric times?" Allison asked.

It was Cameron's first fear. She tried to rationalize it a little. Mount Lassen in California erupted approximately a hundred years ago. The jungle growth around them confirmed they weren't near Mount Lassen, at least not a hundred years ago. She decided to give the girls a more modern example.

"I don't know yet." Cameron said. "There are volcanoes all around the world in many nations from our own time. Some have been active for decades. There's one in Hawaii for example. It doesn't look like this."

Cameron waited at the spot they arrived in. It'd been a rough transfer. Rougher than any other one she'd done. It was like they arrived, then were gone, and then back again, all in a few milliseconds. She continued to wait.

Nothing else happened.

She wasn't sure why she thought she needed to wait there. She asked everyone to remain there for now. She wanted them to remain in a tight group.

The girls were all nude from the time transfer. They were comfortable being nude around each other. They were a little exhilarated to be around Cameron nude, especially in such close quarters. They couldn't be too excited about it based upon the nature of their situation. It was clear they weren't the only ones worried. The girls could all see and feel Cameron's apprehension.

Allison was worried about Cameron's demeanor. She wanted to try to soothe her.

"Cameron, what's wrong?" Allison asked.

Cameron needed to keep it together for now. It was hard to do so because of what she witnessed as they left the TDE room in the energy bubble. It was her worst nightmare, John and Riley alone. It was actually worse than the thought of her becoming Skynet. If she became Skynet she could always be destroyed. John and Riley alone was something she couldn't control. She didn't think she had any right to control it. John was free to choose who he wanted to be with. It wasn't what she wanted.

She needed to refocus. Something inside of her called out to her.

"I don't know. Something doesn't feel right." Cameron said.

Cameron felt very uneasy about the transfer. She was sure there was a temporal error.

Vanna wanted Cameron to assign them tasks for what would be the best things to work on.

"Tell us what to do." Vanna said. "We can all get started."

Cameron needed to take care of the girls until she could come up with where and when they were. The girls were her responsibility. They were only there because of her. She understood they went to protect her. She was going to need to protect them.

"We need to find fresh water." Cameron said. "I'll look for something editable, find shelter, and make some coverings for our bodies. We'll need weapons. They will be crude, but they will still kill if the need arises."

Jesse was happy the way they were 'dressed' right now. The lack of clothing didn't bother her, but they didn't know who or what they might run into. If they ran into a group of cavemen, or Scavengers, while they were naked, it was a pretty good bet what would follow. It would seem like an open invitation.

Allison wondered what weapons they could obtain. Then again, if they possessed weapons, they could take food and clothing from someone else. It was only if there was 'someone else'. She didn't like the idea of attacking anyone else for their own needs, unless the attack was provoked. She didn't want to assume the role of a Scavenger wherever they were at. Weapons were still a good idea.

"Where would we find any weapons?" Allison asked.

Cameron looked around where they were. She may have to get creative to get those things done. She already spotted several different things she could use as offensive weapons. The weapons for the girls would need to be more defensive at this juncture. Water, food, and weapons weren't the only thing to worry about. There was a silent killer out there which could be just as deadly.

"We need to stay together." Cameron said. "I'll fabricate some weapons. If there's any danger, I'll engage it. We have no medical supplies so it is important no one gets injured or gets an infection."

Cameron listened to the 'jungle'. She couldn't detect any human activity or human generated noise. She knew they were in trouble. She looked to the sky again, but the reddish clouds blocked everything.

The clouds in her mind seemed to create their own fog to her thoughts. She tried not to think about what they'd left behind. It didn't work very well. The clouds in her heart couldn't cover the pain she felt. Her mission now should be to get back to John as soon as possible to prevent anything from happening. She didn't want to be put in a situation where John could choose Riley instead of her again. She was the one who picked the human females to replace her. Riley wasn't her choice. Riley was never her choice. Riley would never be her choice.

It all seemed like a big mistake right now to her. It seemed so many things she tried to do were all nothing but a big mistake.

John did a double take.

He looked next to him and couldn't believe his eyes.

It was Riley. There was no doubt about it.

John reached over and gave Riley a hug.

Riley was a little startled. She was unsure of the reaction of John 'seeing' her.

John slowly released Riley.

He looked a little embarrassed once he thought about how he'd just reacted to a 'total stranger'. He wasn't sure she was a 'total stranger' yet. She certainly didn't look like one. He needed to refocus.

John knew she wasn't 'his Riley'. She was dead. He'd seen and touched her dead body. He knew Riley was dead because of him. Now there was another version of her. He couldn't help but wonder how events would play out. It seemed to be a strange omen. Cameron was gone, and Riley was back. It reminded him of the choice he made to replace Cameron with Riley before. He was still unsure about the choice. Maybe Riley played him at first. They soon fell in love despite what her 'mission' was. No. He wouldn't give up the experience with Riley for anything. She was his 'first'. He would make the same choice again in a 'do over'.

He quickly snapped out of it. He tried to offer an explanation. It sounded lame, even as he said it.

"I'm sorry. You reminded me of someone." John said.

He could see the stern look on his mother's face. He hoped she wouldn't say anything. It certainly wasn't going to be positive whatever it was.

John held out his hand. He felt he needed to do something. He was supposed to be the General after all.

"I'm John Connor."

They shook hands.

"I'm Riley Dawson. I'm pleased to meet you."

There was an unintended connection. Their eyes locked on each other's eyes. It was clearly more than a Resistance fighter meeting John Connor, a legend in her time period.

The unnecessary interaction wasn't lost on Sarah. She didn't like what she just witnessed. She gave John a chance to back off. He didn't. His actions seemed to go in the opposite direction, the wrong direction. She tried to hold her tongue. It wasn't going to happen.

"John, what about your wife?" Sarah cut in.

Sarah wanted the statement out there NOW. She didn't want the newcomer to start to get any 'ideas' from the beginning. John's poor choice before was in the front of her mind. Riley couldn't protect John. She couldn't even protect herself.

John slowly looked away from Riley, and then to Sarah. He could have done without the interruption.

Riley looked at Sarah. She could see a cold, hard woman. She looked extremely fit and trim.

'It must be his mother.' Riley thought.

Riley didn't think anyone else would say anything like she just heard otherwise.

John needed to remember where they were now, and what else just happened. He could see events were beyond his control, again. He was as upset as he was angry about all of it.

"It looks like nothing, Mom. She's gone." John said. "Game over, man, game over."

Sarah didn't like his attitude. Especially after the interaction John just shared with Riley. She knew something could always be tried. Things didn't get done thinking about them.

"Get to work and do something to fix it." Sarah said. "Figure something out."

John didn't have a clue where they went. If it was into the future, he couldn't go. He would end up where he did before, or another future since they'd changed things after he returned from the future. He thought it would be better if they all left.

"You can all go for now. Nothing's going to happen here. I want to talk with John Henry about our options." John said. "We need to see what we can do. I honestly don't have a clue.

Everyone left except John and John Henry.

John talked to John Henry about what they could do, or if anything could be done. It seemed to him they needed to know where they went first before they could plan anything. To find a needle in a haystack, they needed to find the haystack first.

"Do we even know which future they went into?" John asked.

John Henry was worried about it. He'd tried to reset the time and destination after the transfer started. He was sure it would have some detrimental effect since they didn't return to the TDE pad. It appeared as if they were about to several times, but nothing was there. He didn't want to get blamed for whatever went wrong. He decided to keep his answer simple.

"No." John Henry said.

John still tried to get his head around where they thought they were going. It was supposed to be into the future, but it could be different again. He tried to recap what he heard so far.

"So they just left, not knowing where they were going, or what would happen?" John asked in amazement.

John Henry pointed out the folly of not testing something first to Cameron. She wouldn't listen. He wanted to have something a little more conclusive before they started the endeavor. He believed the blame belonged to Cameron, not him.

"Correct." John Henry said.

John didn't want to endanger anyone else. Maybe there was some way he could go himself. He wanted John Henry to recreate the event. He wasn't sure it was a wise choice. He wasn't sure he actually made too many wise choices over the years.

"Is there any way I can follow them?" John asked. "I know what happened before."

John Henry was sure it was certain folly. Look what happened the last time.

"NO. If you go forward, it will alter the timeline again." John Henry said. "I'm sure of it."

John Henry was also sure if John attempted to leave, it would be the last time any of them saw him.

A million thoughts flooded into John's mind. Somehow he felt responsible. Was it his fault? What could he have done differently or better? Maybe he should have been a little more attentive to her needs, rather than his own desires. He always got what he wanted from her. It didn't take long. It seemed she seldom did. He didn't want to blame himself, even if he did.

"I can't believe it." John said. "How can she be so unhappy? How can she do THIS again? What about the others? They ALL left knowing nobody was coming back? They left everything and walked away with Cameron to die? They went into the unknown to fight some battle they could never win?"

It was just like in the movie, 'The Wild Bunch'. John thought. It was exactly the way events played out there as well. He also knew the ending. It seemed to be what Cameron and the girls would face wherever they were at.

John Henry saw it the same way too. There were some things he needed to check into first.

"Apparently…." John Henry said. "I think they're lost in time now. They're all lost to - time. Let me review the data Mrs. Weaver sent with Unit 710 and see if we can try anything. I'll let you know."

John looked at the empty TDE pad and was even more disgusted.

"I can't take any more of this." John said as he walked away. "I've HAD it."

John Henry could see John's negative attitude. He sure hoped he could come up with something soon before other events got out of control, again.

Cameron still felt the need to stay where they were. She wasn't sure why. Something inside of her told her to remain where they were at for now.

It was clear the girls wanted to move around.

"Everyone stay here." Cameron said. "Don't leave this spot."

Cameron looked around. She wanted to see what she could use as a weapon immediately if it became necessary. She would fabricate some crude weapons if she needed to. She would start with stones, then move up to spears. She could even make a bow and some arrows. She could start as soon as she found some suitable materials.

The girls were uneasy because they needed to remain where they were at. They wanted to get started. It seemed the longer they remained there and did nothing, somehow it made everything worse. They were going to need to be masters of their own fate.

Allison liked to be in the front of events. She didn't like to play catch up.

"Cameron, you tell each of us what to specifically do, and we'll do it." Allison said. "We need to get crackin'."

Vanna was eager as well to get started. She knew there needed to be a certain level of caution.

"Tell us what to gather, and what not to touch." Vanna said. "Maybe some of this vegetation is poisonous. It could be just as harmful to touch it, as it would be fatal to eat it."

Cameron kept the women close by and instructed them on what to do.

Once Cameron felt the others were secure, she would start to expand her search pattern around the area. If there was anything useful around them, she needed to find it fast. Her concern for the welfare of the girls helped keep her mind off what transpired as they left the base. She couldn't let her mine dwell there. She was no longer there. The events which were to follow there were out of her control.

The main problem was she still hadn't been able to determine 'where', or even 'when' they were. It would make a big difference in everything they did, and needed to do.

The rage Cameron felt as they time shifted, and her last image of John would forever haunt and torment her. The only thing which allowed her to function right now was her concern for the safety of her friends. Her FRIENDS who followed her to their doom. Her FRIENDS she would most likely bury one at a time until she was all alone. Maybe this was her fate. Maybe it was her punishment.

John returned to his room. There were a lot of questions floating around inside his head.

How can life be so cruel?

WHY?

Would Cameron ever come back?

Would any of them ever return?

How long would it be this time?

Would it be months, years, or maybe even never?

There was a soft knock at his door. He was too angry right now to deal with anyone.

"Go away." John nearly shouted.

The door opened.

John turned angrily towards it. Who would dare to defy him right now?

His anger and attitude instantly softened. It was the one person who he could never be angry at. They'd suffered more than he had.

It was Savannah.

Savannah knew her 'duty' and her promises to Cameron. She was supposed to help John in the future with 'everything'. John needed help right now. She knew what he felt. She tried to think how she could best reach him. It would be to have him reach out to her.

"John, I'm scared." Savannah said. "I don't want to be alone."

John knew things were going to be hard on Savannah. She'd just lost everyone, again.

"Come here, Savannah." John said.

John gave her a big hug.

"I started to question myself on what everything was about." John said.

Savannah looked up at him.

"What is it about?" Savannah asked.

It was her future function to help John remember who he was, and everyone mattered. He needed her help now.

John needed to refocus. Savannah didn't deserve anything which happened to her anymore than the things which happened to him.

"It's about you, everyone else, and all the children." John said. "It's about stopping Skynet. It's about continuing on."

Savannah remembered all her promises to Cameron and the future. She believed all of them. They gave her purpose and helped her to move forward with her life. Cameron told her it was her duty and responsibility to the future. Cameron's wedding dress hung in her closet.

"I'll be here to protect you, John." Savannah said. "I'll always be here for you. I'll never leave your side."

It was the same thing she always told Cameron.

Her statement made John's eyes well with tears.

Savannah wanted to reaffirm her future.

"I'll help you, John, and help protect Young Allison, whoever that is." Savannah said.

John knew Cameron spent a lot of time with Savannah. He was glad Savannah didn't go with them. He wondered about what she said.

"Did Cameron tell you to say that?" John asked.

Savannah learned and understood things on her own too. Cameron taught her to evaluate every situation. It was what she did now. She wanted to calm John down.

"No. I hear and see things. I know what happens around here. It's part of my life too." Savannah said. "I'm old enough to know what's happening. I know the future. I know my destiny."

John felt it was a heavy load Cameron put on Savannah's shoulders. He didn't want to make an issue of it. Savannah was there on her own right now. She clearly believed the things she said. It was something in itself.

"OK, Savannah, we'll all protect each other, we'll all help each other." John said. "I'll come and help you with your studies or play with you. So will Sarah and Kyle. I'll be there for you. None of us will be alone."

Savannah knew how the 'game' was played. She knew what she needed to do. It was time to make John do the same thing.

"I want you to promise me." Savannah said. "I want you to remember your promise when things don't go so well."

John looked at Savannah. He felt she anchored him to living.

"I promise, Savannah." John said.

Savannah left. She KNEW John NEEDED her to be there right at that moment. She sunk her 'claws' into him a little to remind him the future still held some promise.

John watched her go. It gave him hope.

'If we haven't lost, we're winning.' John remembered.

Cameron looked around them.

"Is there anything?" Allison asked.

Cameron could find nothing man made.

"No. We're in the middle of nowhere." Cameron said.

Vanna was sure it was a little worse.

"Or 'no when'…." Vanna added.

Jesse thought they had enough. They possessed a good foundation.

"We have each other." Jesse said. "It's all we need."

Cameron looked around at the harsh conditions. Reality caught up with her.

"I understand now there's something worse than nothing." Cameron said.

Allison thought 'nothing' said it all.

"What is it?" Allison asked. "What's worse than nothing?"

Cameron didn't like what it was.

"It's less than nothing." Cameron replied.

Allison knew things could always get worse, even when it seemed they couldn't.

"Yes." Allison said. "There's always less than nothing."

Cameron could see they were in for a struggle. It was all her fault.

"No where, no when, for Nobody." Cameron said.

Cameron thought of the song: 'Nowhere Man' by 'The Beatles.'

'Making all his nowhere plans for nobody.' Just like her.

Cameron snapped out of it.

"We need to stay here in the spot where we arrived at." Cameron said.

The girls wondered about it.

"Why?" They all asked.

It was something which 'called' from deep inside Cameron.

"I don't know. I just know we need to. We're being pulled back." Cameron said.

Cameron brought the girls together and they all held each other.

The energy bubble attempted to reform again.

The arcing and flashing was all around them.

Nobody knew what was happening.

Closing monologue by Cameron:

It Affects Everything In The Future

Because something has already happened
It may not be finished or done
It doesn't mean it's over
Perhaps a new beginning has begun

What is set in stone
Can always be cracked
With the proper tools
Anything can be attacked

Always think it through
Before an impulse makes you act
Very little is actually fact
It is easier to add than subtract

What happens today
Effects what happens tomorrow
Everyday is soon yesterday
It's better to give than to borrow

People can choose what to destroy
Or what to create, build or nurture
Every action has a reaction
It affects everything in the future

Nobody